INTERMITTENT SILENCE ON A STRESSFUL DAY

• Dr. Bhatta recommends practising intermittent silence at the same place and same time, “because that brings the synergy of time and space and your body starts waiting for it.”

• Pause to breathe before moving onto your next task to bring stillness into your day.

• Step away from your computer every hour to rest your brain’s visual processing centres.

• Take the last 10 minutes of your lunch break to sit outside and silently listen to nature.

• Do your yoga practice and nature walk in silence to rest the auditory processing centres in the brain.

What do you want?

For many people, getting clarity about what they want feels like a journey through a muddy field in a rainstorm, blindfolded. Mostly, this is because we’re not taught how to do it.

From a young age, many of us got into the habit of doing what’s expected of us rather than following our own dreams. Getting an education, getting a marriage partner—even making resolutions—are things that we’re told we should do.

The social pressure is real. No wonder we may occasionally feel like we don’t fit in or that we’re failing miserably at things that everyone else seems to do easily. You may be surprised how much easier your path becomes when it’s one you design yourself.

Getting crystal clear

This is going to take a bit of self-reflection. On a day when you’re feeling reasonably relaxed, find a time and place where you won’t be disturbed—even if that means hiding in the car or the bathroom.

Take some deep breaths to release tension and clear your mind. Ask yourself what you want and simply notice what comes to you. You might get words, or a picture in your mind, or a feeling. Write down (or type) what comes to you with as much detail as possible. Build a home gym? Fabulous. Move across the country? Write it down. Start a business? Of course. Don’t let the critical voice in your head start debating you and telling you why you can’t do it. There’s plenty of time for that later.

START WITH WHAT YOU DON’T WANT

If you have a mental block about what you want, start by thinking about what you don’t want for the new year. The list of things we want to be rid of (debt, a soul-sucking job, etc.) tend to come to us very easily. Once you have that list together, you likely want the opposite of everything on it.

Now what?

In their 2020 report describing the journey of close to 1,100 adults through their various New Year’s resolutions, a few main themes revealed themselves to the group of Swedish and American researchers.

Clear vs. vague goals

Significantly, having a clear goal was an important piece of the puzzle. Clarity not only provides the starting point for information-gathering about how to achieve what you want, but it also shows you when you’re not doing what’s necessary for success.

Vague goals, like taking better care of your health, provide very hazy guideposts, whereas the commitment to exercising twice a week or eating five servings of vegetables a day are specific and measurable.

Short-term and long-term goals

Researchers also saw that the most successful people had a combination of both short- and long-term goals. If goalposts were too far away, participants were more likely to procrastinate or avoid sticking to the plan, because they knew they had lots of future time to get things done.

If there were too many strict short-term deadlines, however, a resolution-maker could feel like a failure for missing a mini-goal and throw in the towel. Creating stepping-stones toward the big goal makes room for setbacks while still moving forward.

In circular fashion, having both short- and long-term goals helps to create goal clarity.

FIND YOUR OWN WAY IN 2023!

WORDS | Lisa Petty, PhD

When Alice asked which way she should go, the Cheshire Cat in Lewis Carroll’s timeless tale pointed out that the choices you make “depend a good deal on where you want to get to.” Do you have a clear vision of your destination for the year ahead?