Comma Commandments

COMMA COMMANDMENTS

by ALLEN LOIBNER-WAITKUS

THOU SHALT USE A COMMA BEFORE AND, BUT, OR, AND OTHER COORDINATING CONJUNCTIONS LINKING INDEPENDENT CLAUSES. It was raining on Friday night, so we didn’t go to the football game.

Jonathan bought eight pairs of shoes, but he forgot to buy the socks I asked him pick up for me.

Travis went to Berlin for the summer, and he really enjoyed it.

THOU SHALT USE A COMMA AFTER MOST INTRODUCTORY ELEMENTS. On the third Wednesday of every month, my book club meets at my house.

Because he was busy smoking crack, Brian didn’t notice his toddler had climbed into the washing machine.

THOU SHALT USE COMMAS TO SET OFF NONESSENTIAL ELEMENTS. Annie Dillard, who wrote For the Time Being, won the Pulitzer Prize in 1975 for Pilgrim at Tinker Creek.

My sister, Tracy, lives in Benton. (Note: I only have one sister. If I had more than one sister, Tracy would be essential, and no commas would be necessary.)

My friend Matt, for example, has several sisters.

My stepmother, surprisingly, is younger than I.

THOU SHALT USE A COMMA TO SET OFF YES AND NO. No, you cannot wear white after Labor Day. Yes, I think that is a great idea.

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THOU SHALT USE COMMAS TO SET OFF DIRECT ADDRESSES. I am not going to be seen with you in public carrying that fake Prada handbag, Jennifer.

Happy birthday, Curt!

THOU SHALT USE COMMAS TO SET OFF TAG QUESTIONS. It’s raining outside, isn’t it?

Samantha is pregnant, right?

THOU SHALT USE COMMAS TO SET OFF MILD INTERJECTIONS. Oops, my socks don’t match.

Well, it could be worse.

THOU SHALT USE COMMAS TO SET OFF ABSOLUTE PHRASES. Having been the last person to finish eating the main course, Shemiracle had the nerve to order dessert.

The charity, its donations already slumping, forgot to advertise the event.

THOU SHALT USE COMMAS TO SET OFF CONTRASTING PHRASES. It was Meghan, not Justin, who decided raising bees inside was a good idea.

Jose, unlike Billy, finished his homework before class.

THOU SHALT USE COMMAS BETWEEN ITEMS IN A SERIES. Corky ate ham, eggs, sausage, bacon, and toast for breakfast.

Rita lifted weights, ran a mile, and did yoga before going to work.

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THOU SHALT USE COMMAS BETWEEN TWO OR MORE ADJECTIVES THAT MODIFY THE SAME WORD EQUALLY. You should see Maribeth’s shiny, sleek new car.

Farrah is a caring, dependable friend.

THOU SHALT USE COMMAS ACCORDING TO STANDARD PRACTICE IN LONG NUMBERS, DATES, PLACE NAMES, AND ADDRESSES. Despite her pathetic salary, Ginny bought a house that cost $250,000.00.

April 1, 1976, is a day the world changed forever.

Austin, Texas, has fewer residents than Tampa, Florida.

Her address is 324 Ash Street, Little Rock, Arkansas 72205.

THOU SHALT USE COMMAS ACCORDING TO STANDARD PRACTICE WITH QUOTATIONS. Matt said, “I will never speak to him again after he called me stupid during our wedding reception.”

“I can’t believe you would let something so minor bother you so much,” I said.

THOU SHALT USE COMMAS TO PREVENT MISREADING. Though mostly happy, people still have moments of depression.

Tell Mary, Grace is finished eating.

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