The Key to Tranquility

KEEPING WELL

the key to

tranquillity Feeling stressed out or anxious? Here’s how to unlock inner peace at key moments in your life.

By NIRMALA SIVANATHAN

I

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WELLNESS FOR ALL

PHOTOS: Getty Images, Istockphoto

f you live in Singapore, you will be familiar with terms such as “exam fever”, “performance anxiety” and “work stress”. Although terms like these are oftentimes used loosely in a social context to complain about the usual worries, key moments of anxiety and stress in your life can push you to breaking point.

According to Ms Geraldine Koempel, a psychologist with The Counselling Place, “stress and anxiety belong to normal development”.

“It only becomes a problem when we are unable to find a way to deal with the cause of the anxiety,” she adds.

Too much stress and unresolved anxiety can cause you to experience sleeping disorders and, in worst case scenarios, panic attacks. Psychosomatic symptoms (concerning both mind and body) are also common, with individuals suffering from anxiety-­‐ related stomach aches, chest pain and headaches. You may also feel unusually sad, angry and irritated.

In short, your mental health — what the World Health Organisation defines as “a state of well-­‐being in which the individual can realise his or her own abilities, cope with the normal stresses of life, and work productively and fruitfully” — will be affected.

Allswell takes a look at five key events in a person’s life that can result in stress and/ or anxiety, and how to regain your composure in these situations.

1

Exam fever

These days, exam fever is not just something that strikes students taking their Primary School Leaving Exam, GCE ‘O’ Level or GCE ‘A’ Level examinations. In today’s high pressure education system, exam fever can strike at any age.

Ms Koempel says, “People of any age can experience anxiety. The anxiety might be caused by different things at different ages, but in the end, it is always about how the person resolves questions such as ‘Am I going to make it? Am I going to be able to please others with my choice of action or behaviour?’”

Children might feel that they are just not good enough, or that they haven’t worked hard enough. As children get older, they might face anxiety thinking that failing a crucial examination could cost them a spot with their preferred university and/or employer.

If you are a student and preparing

for an exam, what you can do is to take control of the situation you are in right now. Do up a study schedule and get your study plans organised. Cut down on stimulants such as tea, coffee and caffeinated soft drinks, and start going to bed early as your worries will always seem bigger when you’re tired. Regular exercise can also take your mind off your problems.

If you are a parent, you too can help by taking a step back from your own expectations and reminding your kids that they can only do their best — and that their best is all that matters to you.

2

Your first job

There’s no greater moment of adjustment than the moment you stop being a student and start being an employee. In one stroke, it can seem like the things that used to make a difference in the past don’t really matter anymore. For example, plain old hard work and aptitude might not be enough to get you recognition in the working world. Instead, it might seem that you need both aptitude and people skills to get ahead.

One way you can prepare for this is by going on internships or work attachments while you are still at school. These will give you glimpses into how the working world works and help boost your confidence.

And remember, everybody around you, from the Chief Executive Officer of the company to the top performer on

When to seek help According to Ms Geraldine Koempel, a psychologist with The Counselling Place, “Anxiety is a normal reaction to an event or situation that causes stress and can actually help us deal with the situation.” Most of us manage to cope with this anxiety and actually grow from it. But when your anxiety becomes too much to handle, or if it causes your life to be more difficult than is necessary, then you should see a mental health professional says Ms Koempel. This is because you might have what is known as General Anxiety Disorder. The mental health professional you see can then help evaluate your situation and recommend treatment methods such as psychotherapy, behaviour modification therapy, cognitive therapy and/or medication.

TOO MUCH STRESS AND UNRESOLVED ANXIETY CAN CAUSE YOU TO EXPERIENCE SLEEPING DISORDERS AND, IN WORST CASE SCENARIOS, PANIC ATTACKS. your team, had to start from somewhere. They all experienced the same insecurities and setbacks at one point or another. What really matters is how you deal with these challenges and learn from them.

3

Getting married

It should be one of the happiest moments of a person’s life, but for many, it’s also one of the most stressful. Causes of stress include worries on how to pay for the wedding banquet, dealing with your new in-­‐laws, and even the logistics of packing up your things and moving into a new home.

Adding to this is the mental stress of transitioning from the life of being a single to being married. It’s no surprise that couples complain of stress, anxiety and frequent disagreements in the period leading up to the actual wedding.

Ms Koempel says that a lot of the stress is caused by your own expectations of married life and your family’s expectations of your wedding and marriage.

When making big decisions, take a step back and consider if what you’re doing is truly what you want or what you think society wants you to do.

Don’t think you can afford a huge, fancy wedding banquet? Then it might be worth having a heart-­‐to-­‐heart with your future spouse and coming to a joint decision to have a simple yet elegant dinner with close relatives.

Don’t forget, the best part of getting married is that you are no longer alone. You don’t have to face these stresses and anxieties by

Jul-Sep 15

KEEPING WELL

IT’S QUITE COMMON TO SEE COUPLES CONCEIVING JUST WHEN THEY GIVE UP ON THE IDEA OF HAVING A BABY AND STOPPED STRESSING. This is almost double the number of AR treatments done in 2004. Don’t isolate yourself — open up and talk to friends and family who care for you.

You can also boost your fertility by cutting down on alcohol, avoiding cigarettes, maintaining a well-­‐balanced diet, and keeping stress in check. After all, it’s quite common to see couples conceiving just when they give up on the idea of having a baby and stopped stressing.

5 yourself anymore. Talk it out with your loved one and help each other out.

4

Having a baby

So you’ve been married for a few years and you’re finally ready to start a family. Months go by and nothing happens. So you wait for a few more months and still, nothing takes hold. By now, you’re starting to worry. Is there something wrong with you or your spouse? Are you running out of time to have a baby?

Add to these inappropriate questions from well-­‐meaning relatives on when you’re planning to have a baby and it’s a stage set for anxiety, stress and despair.

Whatever you decide to do as a result, whether it is to go for tests or explore fertility treatments, just keep in mind that you’re not the only one with this problem. According to the latest figures by the Ministry of Health, 3,271 Singaporean couples used Assisted Reproduction (AR) treatments in 2009.

Gearing up for retirement

So it’s time to put your feet up now that you are no longer in the 9–5 work grind. But are you really prepared for life after retirement? Most people happily put away their work clothes only to battle anxiety over financial worries, feelings of redundancy and boredom.

The best thing is to be ready. Make sure you have sufficient savings or consider working a little while longer.

Plan ahead and create a meaningful routine filled with social activities, time for hobbies, time with loved ones, exercise and relaxation. This will give you something to look forward to and help you enjoy your golden years to the fullest!

ALL-NATURAL CHILL PILLS Looking for a quick mood booster? Here are some all-natural supplements that are said to promote good mental health!

VALERIAN ROOT This root is said to reduce anxiety and stress according to a report published by the Mayo Clinic in April 2011.

It is generally considered safe at recommended doses but can cause some side effects such as headaches and drowsiness.

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WELLNESS FOR ALL

OMEGA 3 Here’s more evidence to suggest that fish oil is truly some sort of miracle substance: a study done by researchers at Ohio State University in July 2011 found that consuming fish oil resulted in a marked reduction in both inflammation and anxiety in a group of healthy young people.

PASSION FLOWER A report published by CNN. com in October 2011 said that there is strong evidence to suggest that herbal supplements containing passionflower extracts can help people deal with symptoms of anxiety.