Swingers

How do my partner and I get started in the Lifestyle?

It is important to remember that communication is of utmost importance. When you’ve decided together to start entering the Lifestyle, start by creating your list of rules and boundaries. These will not be the same for anyone, and there are no requirements for what should or shouldn’t be on your list.

Creating this list will help to ensure that you and your partner are on the same page. In turn, when you are ready to begin talking with others you can confidently communicate with them what your rules and boundaries are as well. Over time, this list may evolve as you begin to explore more of the lifestyle and find additional things that may be of interest, or things that become more defined boundaries.

How do you handle jealousy?

It is not abnormal for jealous feelings to come up, but it is important to handle these feelings in a positive way. The most important thing you can do when you notice them is to address them. Reflect on why you might be feeling jealousy, and really try to find the root cause. It is okay to take a step back from a situation and take time to gain more perspective to really help yourself (and your partner) understand why these feelings are occurring.

If feelings of jealousy do arise, it is recommended to prioritize your relationship. Put you and your partner first, and communicate together to work through these feelings.

After being able to take time to reflect and talk through all your thoughts and feelings with your partner.

What are some best tips and advice for a newbie in the Lifestyle?

The best advice is simply to communicate at the highest level. You should be having a conversation off the bat about what you’re okay with and what you’re not okay with to avoid any potential issues upfront.

Secondly, over each experience, you will be changing the rules you set up. This happens when you become more comfortable with the Lifestyle and find what works for you. This isn’t a one size fits all so you will need to constantly be communicating. That is going to be one of the keywords you need to always remember to be successful.

Reading a lot of books around the LS (lifestyle) is going to be a great help as well. A personal favorite is Ethical Slut which goes through the ins and outs of an Open Relationship and being in the LS. Another resource is Jealous Workbook. This is a great one because it’s literally a workbook that helps you understand if you want to be in the lifestyle. It will test your thought process with questions you’ll need to ask yourself and write out how you feel etc. We also have a compilation of books/resources in our #nonmonogamyresources thread under “Podcast, Books & More”.