City Hub 6 September 2018

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city hub 6 SEPTEMBER 2018

Wheels fall off rental bikes

By Alec Smart There are many benefits to the much-maligned brightly coloured rental bicycles strewn everywhere.

They’re cheap, reliable, convenient and useful if you need to commute a short, relatively flat distance in an area where parking is limited and public transport expensive.

They also reduce traffic congestion, encourage people to exercise and are a great substitute if you wish to avoid leaving your own bicycle somewhere vulnerable to theft.

They’re especially popular among tourists and beach-bound backpackers.

And yet, loathe or hate them, it appears Australians prefer to ruin rather than ride these machines, and otherwise won’t touch them with a barge pole.

Although technically, that’s incorrect, because contractors on barges in Melbourne have retrieved hundreds of them hurled unwanted into the Yarra River. In April this year another 80 were fished out of the tidal estuary along a six-kilometre stretch around the city and docklands.

“Some from the lower river were encrusted with worms, mussels, and other marine creatures,” said coordinator Andrew Kelly, from cleanup crew Yarra River Keepers Association. “One even had a large oyster attached to the seat!’’

Here in Sydney, dumped rental bikes are frequently exposed at low tide rusting in mud along the Alexandra Canal and Cooks River, and there are countless photos on social media of them hanging from trees or piled up in parks, their wheels typically buckled.

Until recently there were five rental bicycle companies operating in Sydney: oBike, Ofo, ReddyGo, Mobike and Riide. Unlike traditional hire bicycles, which must be returned to a dock after use, ‘dockless’ rental bikes are unlocked by a mobile phone app and can be left at their destination.

This means users can effectively abandon them anywhere.

Although only launched in mid 2017, within weeks of their arrival the bikes began piling up in popular tourist spots, clogging footpaths and beaches and creating a trip hazard for the visually impaired.

ReddyGo bikes rusting, probably never ridden, in their Alexandria depot. Photo: Alec Smart

By August Sydney Harbour Foreshore Authority rangers began impounding them.

In October, Inner West Council Mayor Darcy Byrne led calls for a ‘consistent regulatory framework across the metropolitan area.’

“Allowing a free-for-all with no allocated parking or protections for residents will only result in the industry losing popularity and patronage,” he declared.

In January 2018 a coalition of six Sydney councils - Canada Bay, City of Sydney, Inner West, Randwick, Waverley, and Woollahra – imposed strict new guidelines to ensure the rental companies met a set of regulations to reduce the number of abandoned bicycles.

Waverley Mayor John Wakefield then called on the New South Wales Government to close a legislative loophole that allows share bike companies to operate without a permit.

In March 2018, Waverley Council undertook two major collections of damaged, nonoperational bicycles in their jurisdiction.

“A total of 107 bikes were impounded,” a

spokesperson informed City Hub, “of which 60 were collected by dockless bike share operators Ofo and Mobike, and impounding fees were paid. A total of 47 impounded bikes belonging to Obike and ReddyGo remained unclaimed.”

This robust administration probably precipitated the end of rental bicycles’ anarchic reign.

In July this year, two of Australia’s main players, Chinese-founded Ofo – the ubiquitous canary-yellow brand – and its Australian rival ReddyGo – candy red - announced their intentions to abandon business here.

Ofo spokesperson Ben Shipley issued a statement saying, “Ofo will wind-down operations in Adelaide and Sydney during the next 60 days... Ofo will begin to remove bikes from cities and consolidate them to our warehouses.”

ReddyGo went one step further and offered to give away their bikes to loyal customers, if they collected before July 20: “If you do not wish to wait for restructuring process and wish to terminate your membership, we are happy to offer you and a friend a free bike each (total two

bikes) as a sign of our gratitude for your loyalty and support.”

Ofo, one of the world’s most successful bike-share companies in a saturated market, is in jeopardy. The Beijing-based bicycle behemoth reached its peak in 2017 when it deployed over 10 million bicycles in 20 countries and 250 cities. The company was valued around $2 billion, leasing bikes to over 62.7 million monthly users.

In July 2018 Ofo’s CEO, Dai Wei, compared their financial crisis to WWII Britain’s ‘Darkest Hour’ when citizens faced invasion and starvation.

In a massive restructuring Ofo has scaled down significantly to consolidate their operations in cities more responsive to bicycle hire than Australia.

Australia has one of the poorest uptakes for rental bicycles; share bikes in Sydney are used, on average, 0.3 times per day, compared to 2-6 trips per day in other countries.

Unlike Ofo, which can retreat to their Beijing base, ReddyGo has limited options. Hundreds of bicycles still languor at their Alexandria depot, many unused since ReddyGo’s Sydney launch in July 2017 with a promise of ‘6000 bicycles by Xmas’. City Hub visited the compound and found dozens of bikes in states of disrepair and dismemberment.

Perhaps they’re destined for ‘bicycle graveyards’ in China, where millions of unwanted machines are rusting, resembling fields of flowers revealed in surprisingly beautiful aerial photos.

Despite this, ReddyGo, founded by UTS graduate Donald Tang and backed by a large Chinese app developer, still offers bikes for $1.99 per half hour hire. The ReddyGo app remains available to download online, where many frustrated users complain about a myriad of issues.

City of Sydney Council is skeptical about ReddyGo’s imminent departure. A spokesperson told City Hub, “We haven’t heard that ReddyGo is leaving Sydney. The media reported this following oBike announcing their departure from Melbourne. As far as we know they are still operating. You will need to check with them directly what their plans are.”

ReddyGo didn’t respond to repeat requests from City Hub to comment.

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ABN 52 600 903 348 Group Publisher: Lawrence Gibbons Group Editors: John Moyle, Sara Lander Contributors: John Moyle, Lanie Tindale, Alec Smart, Paul Paech, Peter Hehir Arts Editor: Jamie Apps Advertising Manager: Georgina Pengelly Cover Photo: Supplied. Isabella Polizzi & Jesse Designer: Nadia Kalinitcheva Advertising: sales@altmedia.net.au Mail: PO Box 843 Broadway 2007 Email: news@altmedia.net.au, arts@altmedia.net.au Ph: 9212 5677, Fax: 9212 5633 Website: altmedia.net.au If you have a story, or any comments you’d like to share with us: news@altmedia.net.au altmediagroup

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by John Moyle The ArtHouse Hotel in the CBD is hosting an art exhibition with a difference: all the works are by injecting drug users who are clients of the Uniting Medically Supervised Injecting centre in Kings Cross.

This is the eighth year that the exhibition has been mounted and the second year that it has been hosted by the ArtHouse Hotel after out-growing its original space in the Kings Cross Neighbourhood Centre.

“The reality of the service we run is it’s known for one small aspect of what we do, and that one small aspect is injecting drugs,” Dr Marianne Jauncey, medical director, Uniting Medically Supervised Injecting Centre said.

“In fact, the real work that makes a difference is transforming people’s lives and forming a connection with a person and them seeing themselves in a different light.”

On show will be 130 works which are all for sale to the highest bidder via a timed silent auction open until 2 October.

“For all the art works that are sold 100 per cent of the money goes to the artists,” Dr Jauncey said.

“It is quite humbling when you see people’s faces when they have been told that they have won a prize or that one of their works has sold.”

“It’s a simple piece of validation in the life of someone who has not had a lot of external validation.”

The online catalogue can be downloaded by going to Uniting’s “Art From the Heart” site.

The show was officially launched 1st September at the Wayside Chapel by the City

Art from the Heart that everyone can buy. Photo: Supplied

of Sydney Lord Mayor Clover Moore who said “The record number of artists involved in ‘Art from the Heart’ this year shows that the program has an enormous and positive impact for its participants”.

“I believe that we are all talented in some way and it’s just a matter of being free and brave enough to try different things,” an anonymous Uniting MSIC client said.

Despite its clear positive impact on the physical and social health of its clients, and in helping remove sharps from the streets of Kings Cross, the centre and its clients still come under opprobrium from some in the community.

“We view people through a focused lens that sees people first as drug users and it is a

reminder to us to shift that lens and look at the person, and see that what they can give us back through their art is so much more than their drug use,” Dr Jauncey said.

The exhibition also attracted input from some of Sydney’s top creative agencies such as advertising agency DDB, who produced the branding to promote the event and Sweeney Advertising who organised the billboards.

“We work closely with the marketing team at Uniting throughout the year, and seeing how hard this team works on this event each year we threw our hat into the ring,” said Clinton Kay, senior executive of Sweeney Advertising.

The billboards can be seen at Kings Cross and Erskineville stations. city hub 6 SEPTEMBER 2018

3

Battered Pav shows how Liberals make sausage

By Paul Paech If all politics is local, then the streets of Sydney’s Eastern Suburbs are where the direction of Australia’s political destiny will be decided.

The ugly machinations around the exit from politics of Prime Minister and Member for Wentworth Malcolm Turnbull have created a showdown between a disciplined ALP and the chaotic Liberal Party in Canberra.

But it’s possibly much more than that.

With some commentators forecasting the electoral death of the modern Liberal party, the up-coming Wentworth by-election could be the canary in that party’s fetid mine.

Although both parties have rolled political heads a few times recently, not one Liberal (apart from the too-goodto-be true Julie Bishop) has come out of this recent mess with a clean face.

Over the last few years, voters living in Wentworth’s leafy harbour and beachside streets have experienced Liberal governments at federal, state and local levels.

These residents are in a pretty good position to judge whether the Liberal Party is actually doing a good job of governing where it matters - and that’s not on the screen or in the opinion polls, but in the real life home-grown on-the-ground place they call home.

The saga of the Bondi Pavilion in the Waverley part of the Wentworth

electorate is the perfect micro example of what happens at the Federal level.

You will probably remember the God-almighty battle between former Mayor Sally Betts and, well, almost everyone else over her ambitious $42 million proposal to glitz up the beloved Pavilion to better attract the consumer tourist dollar.

Within days of replacing Betts as Mayor in September 2017, the ALP’s John Wakefield was already setting up a Bondi Pavilion Stakeholder Group.

Over the next few months, he personally chaired more than sixty intense hours of discussion and debate that distilled the Pav’s many complex issues into a single report, which became the brief to the architect, and just now the concept design is being readied for community feedback.

The newly released concept is a simple evolutionary proposal that shows respect for the building and its many cultural and community activities.

There’s an extensive improvement in the amount and the quality of community space, while the theatre (which the ABC’s Simon Marney recently called “one of the best performance spaces in Australia”) will be completely refitted.

Betts wanted to get rid of the firstfloor theatre to make way for high-end commercial uses: fine dining while you gaze out over the beach.

Her unloved proposal was a last ditch

Mayor’s Message Festival of the Winds We’re excited to be celebrating the 40th anniversary of Festival of the Winds on Sunday, 9 September from 11am to 4pm at Bondi Beach, Park and Pavilion. Waverley Council proudly hosts the free event with the Australian Kite Flyers Society. In addition to the professional kite flying displays on the beach, there will be music on the main stage, international food stalls, kite-making workshops and other activities. We have a special Festival of the Winds exhibition at Bondi Pavilion Gallery from 4-9 September, which includes original kites, archival footage and memorabilia from the past 40 years.

effort to halt the steady deterioration which occurred under Betts’ seven-year reign.

When Betts’ plan went to the community, it generated more than 700 letters of objection and only a handful in favour, which Betts conveniently ignored.

Wakefield’s proposal ticks most - if not all - of the community’s boxes, quite a significant achievement.

But that’s not the end of the Liberal/ ALP comparison here: Wakefield’s Pav proposal is just one of more than a dozen initiatives currently under development for Bondi and its beach.

Among these are three new amenities facilities along the beachfront, a major water cleaning and recycling proposal for the north end of the beach, rebuilding the retaining wall along the kiddies’ pool, and many more.

These are the kind of nurturing maintenance works that Betts ignored, choosing instead high-impact and highprice projects that were ill-conceived and not wanted by the community.

And if that approach sounds familiar, that’s because it’s the same way that state Liberals have arrived at nonsense projects like WestConnex and the light rail: poorly considered and poorly executed ideas that promise much but end up delivering massive inconvenience and destruction, at great expense.

The Liberal brand is also seriously

Floodplain Management Committee Waverley Council is establishing a Floodplain Management Committee to oversee the implementation of the state government’s Flood Prone Land Policy. The main objective of the policy is to reduce the impact of flooding and flood liability on owners and occupiers of flood-prone property and reduce public and private losses. The committee will consist of Councillors, Council staff, community representatives and staff from the State Emergency Service, Sydney Water and Office of Environment and Heritage.

It will employ a range of strategies to meet the policy objectives including the development of a Floodplain Management Plan.

John Wakefield, Mayor of Waverley

Follow Waverley Council

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city hub 6 SEPTEMBER 2018

Bondi residents wrested Bondi Pav from Liberal clutches just in time. Photo: Sardaka

on the nose in neighbouring Woollahra - the heartland of Turnbull’s Wentworth - thanks to the almost successful direction from Macquarie Street to abolish local councils.

No surprise that local member for Vaucluse, Gabriel Upton, has been the focus of residents’ anger.

Currently, she’s refusing to listen to arguments against commercial leases over state parks at Watsons Bay for large scale wedding and function rooms.

All these are projects announced from on high by consultants who apparently know better than residents about what’s needed.

The fact is that lots of Liberal voters have been just as appalled by the unholy mess that their party has created in their own back yards as they have by the recent blood-letting, arrogant

bullying and sheer deceit in Canberra.

It’s not just the infighting that’s the problem though.

Today the Liberal Party looks less about competent government than it does an out-of-touch rogues’ gallery of, frankly, quite awful people.

Abbott has become quite repulsive, clearly tortured and twisted inside.

But even here there are some pleasures: who should get the job of taming the Liberal monsters, chairing the committee to decide which hapless candidate will try to fill Turnbull’s sizeable shoes in Wentworth?

Why, only that most toxic of all Liberal power-brokers, Waverley’s own Sally Betts.

With any luck, this impossible task of managing post-Turnbull Wentworth will prove to be her Waterloo.

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5

No change to lock-out laws

by John Moyle Bad news keeps coming for pubs and clubs in the CBD and King Cross as Glad the Impaler’s government makes it clear that there will be no changes to the lock-out laws until after the state election on 20 March 2019.

This news comes at the completion of the review into liquor regulations that started with a glimmer of hope due to a sunset clause in the legislation.

“In most cases regulations are automatically set to be repealed after five years,” Doug Grand, chief executive officer, Kings Cross Licensing Accord said.

The Regulatory Impact Statement for Liquor Regulation 2018 states “Section 10 provides for subordinate legislation to sunset after a set period of time. In most cases, regulations are automatically repealed after five years (or for a longer period of time where this has been approved). The Liquor Regulation 2008 is due for automatic repeal on 1 September 2018”.

According to the government’s own legislation, the lock-out laws that were introduced in February 2014 should have been history last week.

“A removal of the lock-out laws would be a huge win for Sydney,” said Justine Baker, chief executive officer for the Solotel group, whose pub portfolio includes the iconic Kings Cross Hotel.

Instead, the draconian actions of a government that has continually refused to address an issue of its own making will impact on the night-time economy and drinkers in Kings Cross and the CBD with its enforced ID scanning after 9pm, heavy operational regulations for venues and 1.30am lock-outs and 3am last drinks.

The government also increased maximum prison sentences and new mandatory minimum sentences for drug-fuelled violence.

Mr Grand said “Kings Cross still remains the worst affected area but for some years now the assault rate is at an all-time low, and there are

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city hub 6 SEPTEMBER 2018

The iconic Kings Cross Hotel thriving despite lock-outs. Photo: Solotel Group

no clubs or pubs on the violent venue list at the moment”.

The violent venue list is for venues that have recorded assaults over a 12 month period, the pub will stay on the list until it is reviewed every six months.

ID scanning after 9pm is an expensive impost for all licensed venues that includes the cost of the scanner, the wages of a dedicated operator and the camera surveillance associated with its operation.

“What we do know is that ID scanning was not adjusted in line with the NSW Bureau of Crime Statistics stats that show ever decreasing assault rates, but what we do know is that the Lock-Out will not be reviewed until after the state election,” Doug Grand said.

“Waiting another six months is only going to see more clubs close.”

In its submission the Kings Cross Liquor Accord acknowledges that the area has changed irrevocably, stating “The historic nature of the entertainment precinct is continually changing towards a balance between commercial business and residential development.

“In fact, of the 35 late night high risk category venues listed by NSW Liquor and Gaming for the precinct, 20 of the venues have closed with visitation to the area reducing significantly, also the previous patron capacity has been reduced by over 50 per cent, or over 5,000 patrons.”

“The lock-outs provided a useful circuit breaker to alcohol associated violence in inner city hot spots but they are not sustainable and have already caused significant damage to the night-time economy,” Alex Greenwich, independent Member for Sydney said.

“There are now fewer opportunities for musos and entertainers, and the business and consumer confidence in Sydney as an after-dark attraction continues to suffer.”

The World Bar is one of the few pre lock-out venues still standing in the Cross, and has survived due to its creative approach in re-purposing its spaces to include theatre, and its ability to attract a diverse clientele across its operating times.

Owner Steve Ward was more vocal than many operators when he said “The lock-outs were put into solve a problem but now they are a cruel and unusual punishment”.

“I don’t think the state government is listening, or they are concerned about voter backlash, but in the meantime the industry continues to hurt.”

Meanwhile the Lord Mayor Clover Moore has called for the government to wind back the laws in the City of Sydney’s submission to the Liquor and Gaming review.

“The lock-outs come at the expense of Sydney’s global reputation, tourism and hospitality industry,” the Lord Mayor said in a press release.

The Lord Mayor went on to state new incentives that included the installation of a nighttime panel, the removal of the 1.30am lock-out for well managed venues and the streamlining of development and liquor license applications.

While applauding the sentiments Doug Grand said “The City of Sydney can’t do very much about this at all.”

After years of submissions and a willingness to adapt and bear the financial and operational costs of the lock-outs the venues seem to be getting crumbs when they need a total repeal.

“There is a religious overtone to everything, it’s like a temperance movement, a dangerous combination of conservatives, baby boomers and a sprinkling of religion that doesn’t help,” Steve Ward said.

city hub 6 SEPTEMBER 2018

7

Dawn’s million dollar baths

By Lanie Tindale Balmain Ward Councillors are tussling over $1.1 million of the several million needed to save Dawn Fraser Pool.

Significant upgrades are required to restore the pool, a Council report has found.

The report says the bath poses a public safety risk, and may need to be closed.

The initial estimated cost of the upgrades has increased by $4.2 million because Council says the Southern Pavilion structure is not capable of being repaired, and at risk of flooding.

Council reports the first floor of the pavilion is restricted to two people at a time as “the structure is leaning towards the sea”.

The Inner West Council agreed to spend $6.7 million on the project, but rejected Mayor Darcy Byrne’s plan to redirect $1.1 million from a Balmain Public Square project.

Balmain Ward Councillor John Stamilos told City Hub “For goodness sakes, we have a $60 million pools program and [Mayor Darcy Byrne] can’t find $1 million without tearing other important parts of the budget to shreds or threatening to shut down the pool, that’s absurd.”

In response to Cr Stamilos, Cr Byrne told City Hub “there’s no magic pudding” at the Council.

“I attempted to reallocate [funds] from the demolition of the Telstra building on Darling Street last week,” the Mayor said.

“And that amendment was

Dawn Frazer Pool needs a spring board to action. Photo: Lanie Tindale

unsuccessful, so I think the ball’s really in the court of Councillor Stamilos and Councillor Porteous and the other Councillors who haven’t supported the savings that I’ve identified.

“If they want to save Dawn Fraser Pool they’ve actually got to act responsibly and find the cash…

Councillors who say that they support a project can only demonstrate that by actually funding it, not just talking about it.”

Balmain resident Nicole Graham said the pool is a Sydney icon which should be preserved as a priority.

“It’s a real local hub for socialising – older school age kids go there with their friends as it is a safe environment – but it’s not only locals, Sydneysiders all over

enjoy the baths and it’s also a drawcard for international tourists,” she said.

Ms Graham’s husband, Anthony Carn added the pool is also a sporting facility, hosting water polo competitions, and their son Henry mentioned the charms of the kiosk.

Cr Stamilos said the Mayor was “playing his usual politics” and toying with the community.

“The only way Dawnies could be shut down is if Labor Councillors put this to Council, and if they worked very hard to get majority support from a few other Councillors.”

Cr Stamilos said the Council relies on Council staff, not individual Councillors with inherent political bias, to determine funding and finances.

“The Mayor needs to respect this and allow the staff to do their work,” said Cr Stamilos. “He needs to keep at arm’s length when staff are doing their investigations.”

“There is concern on Council about the Mayor’s overbearing influence on financial management and projects.

When the Mayor thinks that his judgement is superior to all other Councillors as well as financial experts then we are setting up real problems for the future of the Inner West Council.

“Darcy Byrne now needs to work constructively with the process and to accept the advice of experts and even fellow Councillors if the works are to be done well.”

Cr Byrne says he has supported the pool since he was on Leichhardt Council, prior to the Inner West Council amalgamation.

“I had $800,000 allocated to the renovation of the pool…and had that funding increased to $2.4 million by the administrator after our council had been sacked, and am on the public record having fought vociferously to make sure that funding wasn’t cut.”

The council is applying for a state Greater Sydney Sports Facility grant, but will consider cancelling other projects to fund the works if the grant does not come through.

Several projects were identified by the Council’s report as able to be delayed or cancelled in order to raise funds.

The Callan Park skate park, Ann Cashman Reserve and Shields

playground upgrades, works on Darling Street, Marion Street, Leichhardt Marketplace and Dulwich Hill Station Centre were all named in the report.

Upgrades on Balmain Town Hall, Leichhardt Oval, Gladstone Park, Leichhardt Park Aquatic Centre, Leichhardt Park Indoor Recreation and Pioneers Memorial Park are other works which could be delayed or cancelled in order to fund the Dawn Fraser Pool upgrade.

The Dawn Fraser Masterplan, currently on public exhibition, identifies the cost of the works as $9.86 million.

Pool upgrade works being completed by the council add up to $56.58 million.

“Dawn Fraser Pool is one of the most important heritage assets in Australia and holds a special place in the hearts of people in Balmain and Rozelle and across the Inner West,” said Cr Byrne.

“There’s literally thousands of people in our community who learned to swim at Dawn Fraser Pool and it’s still one of the most beautiful locations in Sydney.”

Cr Byrne says he “will be calling a protest rally at Dawn Fraser Pool in the near future and if there’s any Councillor who is not yet aware of the depth of feeling for Dawn Fraser Pool in our community, they’re going to get a bit of a shock in the near future when the people of Balmain and Rozelle mobilise against them.”

City Hub contacted Cr Rochelle Porteous for comment, but did not receive a reply.

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Feel the love… WestConnex

By Peter Hehir The Government’s approach when trying to flog a real dog of a project like WestConnex is to conduct what they euphemistically call ‘Community Information sessions’, where the community can have their questions answered and also tell the Government what they think of what’s being proposed.

On the surface this appears to be a reasonable approach.

Of course, things are seldom what they seem.

Those interfacing with the public are usually PR people, with little or no technical expertise, specifically engaged to deflect, diffuse and dumb down the deleterious aspects of whatever dish is being served up.

The usual response to incisive questions from informed people are one of two: “I’m sorry but that is beyond my pay grade” or “we can’t answer that because the project hasn’t been designed yet”.

The reason for this divide and conquer approach is to ensure that the public at large is kept in the dark and fed the proverbial.

The very last thing the Government wants is to have a few hundred people get to hear those who know we are being shafted, ask really pointed questions.

Questions that the proponents either couldn’t or wouldn’t answer.

A case in point is what happened at the Balmain Town Hall in December of 2016.

A meeting initiated by RAW (Rozelle Against WestConnex) had invited a panel of speakers for and against WestConnex Stage 3.

Dr Michelle Zeibots, a qualified transport planner from UTS - who was more than capable of showing exactly why WestConnex couldn’t possibly work and Dr Sujata Allan who intended to speak about the health impacts of unfiltered tunnels and stacks, were invited to deliver the criticism of Stage 3.

Peter Jones, SMC’s project manager who was tasked with dragging Stage 3 over the line, along with whoever he chose to bring with him, was to argue the ‘merits’ of the project.

A curious thing happened in the hour leading up to the well-publicised meeting.

Mr Jones advised the organisers that if Dr Zeibots and Dr Allan took their allocated places at the front table and the debate proceeded as planned, then he’d refuse to participate and he’d pack up his marbles and go home!

With people streaming into the packed hall the organisers were faced with a walk out from the main protagonist, unless we relented and gave him the floor without opposition. Democracy in action?

So much for community engagement…

What did he have to hide?

Plenty.

In a fair and balanced debate Dr

Community engagement by WestConnex is not connecting. Photo: Supplied

Zeibots would have wiped the floor with him.

And he knew it.

They learned their lesson at the first genuine public discussion at the Enmore Theatre.

The packed auditorium sent them off with their tails between their legs.

Now that was democracy in action!

People who were there to get the facts were appalled and many became opponents overnight.

The Government knows that the residents of the Inner West understand WestConnex is a real dog of a project.

It only satisfies the big dollar contributors to both of the major parties, benefiting multinationals like Trans Urban, CIMIC and AECOM. Just how many pollies, once they’ve delivered the goods, end up with

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sinecures with these big companies?

Too many to count.

Utilising mainstream media, the Libs attempted to portray the Inner West as self-absorbed NIMBYS and unsuccessfully tried to pit the outer Western Suburbs against the ‘trendies’ who lived close to the city.

One self-described ‘rich white’ journalist from the Daily Telegraph wrote that there were no tradespeople or pensioners living in the Inner West, because they couldn’t afford to!

Really?

She whinged that in order to have her nails done, her Vietnamese manicurist had to travel in from the foot of the Blue Mountains!

The West is awake though.

They know that the tolls are a real killer.

The savings in time – an illusion.

The toxicity of the tunnels – an even bigger killer.

Rat running here will be a reality, the air will become super toxic, with over 50 tonnes of imported carcinogens from diesel engines belched out annually in Rozelle from the four unfiltered stacks.

So what about the environmental impact?

Has it been considered?

No! How in the hell can the Government determine the environmental impact of the biggest project in the southern hemisphere before the project has been designed?

I had a face to face with a heavy from the SMC outside their big lunch venue in April.

When I tried to give him a copy of Bottleneck! he asked what all the fuss was about.

So, I gave him an example.

Imagine when the two outbound traffic lanes from the Iron Cove Tunnel were added to the existing three lanes on Victoria Road; trying to squeeze these five lanes into two on the Iron Cove Bridge was a blueprint for total traffic chaos… Surely?

His weasel words were unbelievable.

He said that I was wrong – because Stage 3 hadn’t been designed yet!

So, the entire EIS was just nothing more than a pointless and cynical exercise in – you guessed it – ‘Community Engagement’!

Feel the love?

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FEATURE

Purrfect Party

that was enough to spawn a timeline of gradual growth. In 1960, CPS became a charity and continued working tirelessly to find homes for cats, all the while being itself, homeless.Then in 1979, by fortune of bequest, the society was able to purchase a run-down, three floor terrace in the yet to be gentrified suburb of Enmore. More selfless volunteering helped make the property clean and functional and it became the administrative headquarters with a street front op shop. Over the next several years with further renovations, the society was able to shelter cats on premises, provide desexing and vaccination and act as an adoption agency.The op shop was moved to a rented shop space a few doors down to allow room for even more services and cat Jiminy. Photo: Annabella Whyham accommodation.

CPS has a “no kill” policy which means cats will be

By Rita Bratovich cared for until they are adopted.That, of course, This year, the Cat Protection Society (CPS) puts a limit on the number of cats they are able to celebrates its Diamond Jubilee: 60 years (or receive, however according to CEO Kristina Vesk, around 256 cat years) of rescuing and re-homing cats rarely stay longer than a few weeks before stray and abandoned cats from the streets of being adopted.

Sydney. It’s an impressive milestone given the “Even older cats get adopted.And it’s nice, even if organisation relies heavily on the dedication of they only live for another six months, to have some volunteers and the generosity of benefactors and quality of life for that six months,” says Vesk. donors. The positive impact CPS has had on the Though every cat is suitable for adoption, they are vagrant cat population over the last six decades not suitable for every home which is why CPS is incalculable. Even more difficult to estimate is screens each potential new owner and allows them the improved quality of life they have given, not to come in and spend time with the cats. only to countless felines but to human beings “Some cats are very active and need space to run who have genuinely benefitted from the and climb - especially vertical space, cats like to be companionship and unconditional love of this up high. But some cats have been through trauma historically revered animal. and won’t like a lot of noise or activity, so it’s really It all began in 1958 when a group of around 10 cat important for us to know what sort of environment lovers decided to capture, desex and find new the cats are going to and whether the owners will owners for as many stray cats as possible. Back then be away from home...things like that,” explains Vesk. they had little in the way of resources other than Cats that come in in pairs are kept in the same cage their own determination and an undying devotion and adopted out together and cats that need to the humble, domestic felis silvestris catus, but rehabilitation, socialisation or other special needs

are fostered out for a period of time. Foster caring is a valuable service provided by volunteers as it helps free up accommodation within the centre, reduces the risk of communicable disease and keeps cats “forever family-home ready”. All the cat’s needs are provided for by CPS (food, litter, bedding, information, support) and carers can decide when and for how long they’d like to have a cat.

There’s no doubt the organisation would not exist without the passion and commitment of volunteers.

Vice President, Nita Harvey herself began as a volunteer in 1996 and she fully acknowledges the contribution they make.“The people who work here really love what they do and they love the cats.

For many of them, it gives them a purpose,” she says.Three such volunteers, Gary, Bridget and Karolina, have been part of the organisation for many years and speak with great enthusiasm, even as they’re washing out litter trays and food bowls.

Knowing they’re making a difference, and more importantly, getting play time with the cats, is all the reward they need. In fact, for people who aren’t able to have a cat at home for whatever reason, being a volunteer is a great way to fulfil their need for feline contact.

The headline anniversary event will be Diamond Cattails at The Bank Hotel in Newtown.The evening will include live music from John Kennedy’s 68 Comeback Special and “Meowster Of Ceremonies” Dr Katrina Warren, media personality and celebrity vet. Local craft brewers,Young Henry’s will supply cat-themed cocktails to go with delicious vegetarian treats. Guests are encouraged to wear cat ears and dress in feline inspired fashion.

Another major event is the Diamond Anniversary Luncheon at NSW Parliament House in October.

MC Dr Anne Fawcett will guide diners through a tour of the past 60 years of cat protection and veterinary care. She’ll be joined by guest speakers Prof. Julia Beatty and Prof.Vanessa Barrs.

Volunteer Nerida. Photo: Supplied As a meaningful commemorative gesture, CPS is aiming to desex 500 cats before the next kitten season and will be providing desexing and vaccination for $50 for pensioners and health care card holders until they reach the 500 cat target.

In the last 60 years, CPS has brought joy and health, not only to hundreds of cats but also hundreds of humans who have benefitted mentally and emotionally from the limitless affection and utter cuteness these furry warm bundles of love can give.

Specialis any siz

Diamond Cattails Sep 24. Waywards, Lvl 2, Bank Hotel, 324 King St, Newtown. $160+b.f.

Diamond Anniversary Luncheon Oct 12.Strangers Dining Room, NSW Parliament House, Macquarie St, Sydney. $125_b.f.

Tickets & Info: catprotection.org.au

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ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Cockroach

Sing out, Louise

Hilarious urban-noir adventure Cockroach deals with the difficult, dark and very pertinent issues of female anger and gender violence against women. It dips into the theatrical forms of stand up, dance theatre, contemporary epic poetry and a type of live music called Grunge Cabaret.This revenge tale explores the thematic literary history of transformation as seen in Kafka and Ovid’s Metamorphoses, with a view through different lenses and an infusion of lots of laughter.

Performing as part of Sydney Fringe, then moving on to Melbourne and Edinburgh, this one woman show stars award-winning actor Leah Donovan as C and features a live score by musician Benito Di Fonzo on vintage Casio, electric guitar, keys, drums and percussion. A fabulous singer as well as a talented actor, Donovan takes on the music of rock chicks like 80s phenomenon X-Ray Spex and modern girl Courtney Barnett.

Writer/director, Melita Rawson was inspired by the Me Too movement which broke in October last year.

“Cockroach gave us both a theatrical framework to open up about our own experiences and we found a pathway to talk about it, using visual poetry and music to explore it,” Rawson said.

“We use acerbic black comedy in a way that transcends the rage, shame and fear, with some redemption offered at the end so that something positive comes out of it,” she added.

The starting point of Cockroach is Kafka’s famous opening in Metamorphoses and uses the metaphors of transformation into a monstrous cockroach, in relation to what emotional and physical abuse does to women.

It’s also inspired by Ovid whose epic poem from 8AD has many myths and stories where women are raped and then transformed into various animals, insects, flowers and trees. Ovid shows how society victim blames and ejects women who’ve been abused, which are contemporary issues today.

Where Rawson’s previous award-winning Fringe hit THE GIANT WORM SHOW! was sharing a storytelling medium, Cockroach is more experimental theatre.

Her play MilkMilkLemonade was the Mardi Gras hit of 2013 and also featured Donovan. (MS) Sep 6-8. Sound Lounge, Seymour Centre, Cnr Cleveland Street & City Road, Chippendale. $21$26+b.f.Tickets & Info: www.seymourcentre.com

a&e

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city hub 6 SEPTEMBER 2018

The old and the new. There’s something for everyone.”

He said that the night is an open door: “For one (or two) glorious nights, everyone gets to be a cast member in any and all musicals. No spotlight, no microphone...YOU are the star for the evening. Our goal is always to find a happy medium to get the ENTIRE room singing along. If one or two people in a crowd request an obscure Sondheim reference, or what have you, we try to hold off on those until the tail end of the night. I like to call that ‘family time!’”

Adam Tilford loves playing for Australian crowds, “Perhaps because the opportunity isn’t as prevalent as New York (we have multiple piano bars every day of the year) but the people in Australia are ravenous for this kind of entertainment. They’re in it 100% from the

first notes played. No matter the song, style or lyrics they’re participating, watching and enjoying every moment.” (GN) Sep 7-8.The Polo Lounge - The Oxford Hotel, 134 Oxford St, Darlinghurst.

FREE - just tip the pianists.

REVIEW: She Loves Me

Photo: Noni Carroll

Leah Donovan. Photo: Clare Hawley

An annual showtunes sing-along event is to return to Sydney for its third year. Sing Out, Louise is based on an iconic piano bar in New York’s West Village called Marie’s Crisis. It’s free and takes place at The Polo Lounge on the top floor of the Oxford Hotel this weekend.

Two pianists from New York’s Marie’s Crisis piano bar, Kenney Green and Adam Tilford, are flying over especially to play at the event.

Pianist Kenney Green gave some advice on making the most of the communal sing-along: “My top tip is to simply RELAX! We try our best to get to every request and bounce between every genre. If the crowd is currently in the middle of a musical you don’t know, give it a minute or two. We’ll eventually swing back around to something you know. We have 74 years of Tony nominated/winning musicals.

This is not a well known musical, which is inexplicable because it sits right up there alongside the best of them. With a book by Joe Masteroff (Cabaret), music by Jerry Bock and lyrics by Sheldon Harnick (both writers of

Fiddler On The Roof) it certainly has the right pedigree.

The trite title belies the sophistication and wit of this punchy, light-hearted romance set in a small perfume shop in the 1930s. The story is based on a book by Hungarian writer, Miklos Laszlo and it takes place in Budapest although the actors use American accents in this production.

Georg (Rowan Witt), a sales clerk in a perfumery, has been corresponding with an anonymous woman via a lonely hearts service and they finally arrange a date to meet. In the meantime, Amalia (Caitlin Berry), a young, attractive woman, walks into the shop one day seeking work, and after a brilliant display of salesmanship, is hired. Georg and Amalia have instant antipathy towards each other, little realising that fate has conspired to bring them together. To say more is to give too much

away, but the plot gets thicker and there are a couple of side stories for added texture.

The music is instantly likeable without feeling hackneyed, and the script and lyrics are very sharp and funny. Tony Llewllyn-Jones is delightful as shop owner Zoltan Maraczek. Jay James-Moody plays duel roles as Ladislav the clerk and a head waiter in a restaurant in which he is hysterical and almost walks away with the show. An exquisite vintage perfume shop set is transformed into other locations with simple use of lighting and basic props.

Everyone is in fine voice and the intimacy of the Hayes Theatre gives this show warmth and connection.

This is pure uplifting, toe-tapping escapism. (RB) Until Sep 15. Hayes Theatre Company.

19 Greenknowe Ave, Potts Point. $69-$75+b.f Tickets & Info: www.hayestheatre.com.au

Della Hyde - Down For Good Laughs LaughMob and Della Hyde have joined forces to bring Sydney another side-splitting night of comedy at an incredibly affordable price, in an intimate setting.

Down For Good Laughs has a monthly lineup of some of Australia’s most gifted stand-up comedians, well known and wellloved across the country.

This week’s lineup is headlined by Ruven Govender who is returning to Sydney fresh from a sold out Edinburgh Fringe tour with his brilliant ethnic based comedy. Loved by many for this politically incorrect comedy, Ruven is a pro at winning over audiences with his unremitting engaging and enthusiastic presence.

14 STAGE 16 Sounds 18 SCENE 18 SCREEN

Alongside Ruven the event will be bolstered but the inclusion of comedians Fady Kassab, Lauren Bonner, Andrew Paskin and MC Sean Michaels.

Sean Michaels is a radio producer turned comedy gun who’s delivery is slick and energetic, with strong impact and good timing. Sean’s skill and the delivery of his insightful observations of the world mixed with jovial crowd observations has taken him around the globe.

Whether you want to simply enjoy the show or make a full night of it with the ‘snacks and show’ package Down For Good Laughs is sure to see you giggling all night long! (JA)

Arts Editor: Jamie Apps For more A&E stories go to www.altmedia.net.au and don’t forget to join the conversation on Twitter at @AltMediaSydney

Sep 12. Della Hyde, 34 Oxford St, Darlinghurst. $10-$39+b.f. Tickets & Info: www.dellahyde.com.au

Contributors: Emily Shen, Irina Dunn, Jade Morellini, Mark Morellini, Mel Somerville, Olga Azar, Rita Bratovich, Sarah Pritchard, Shon Ho, Riley Hooper, Erika Echternach & Lili Sekkai, Joseph Rana, John Moyle.

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Justin Fleming’s witty script provides the bedrock for this entertaining reimagining of Moliere’s Le Misanthrope in the contemporary Australian music industry.

Although some 350 years have passed since Moliere’s comedy of manners was first performed on a Parisian stage, his trenchant criticism of hypocrisy and sycophancy is as relevant today as ever.

In a gender-bending move, director Lee Lewis gives Danielle Cormack the lead role of Alceste, a stringent critic of the fawning, duplicitous manners of her social set.

Her complaints are aired at length as the play opens, with her lawyer and best friend Philippa (Rebecca Massey) arguing persuasively for the

Danielle Cormack

REVIEW: The Misanthrope exercise of etiquette and politeness in human interactions.

Alceste will have none of it, insisting on nothing less than total and even brutal honesty.

She is caught in a terrible bind, however, as the object of her devotion — the gorgeous Cymbeline (Ben Gerrard) — epitomises the world of flattery and pretence that Alceste despises.

She also offends Orton (Hamish Michael) with lacerating criticism of his song-writing ability, and she’s utterly contemptuous of her admirer Arsenio (Simon Burke).

Fleming mercifully deviates from Moliere’s rhyming couplets to give us a script that is more attuned to the ear of today’s theatre audience, and the result is mostly very amusing.

By Jamie Apps Technological innovations have always been intrinsically tied to the music industry. First we were given portability through the Walkman, then came the iPod which gave us the ability to store our entire music collection on a portable device, next we were introduced to streaming which eliminated the need to carry around a dedicated music device and simultaneously opened us up to the entire world of music. Perhaps the biggest and most recent technological innovation though is the Shazam music app which allows anybody, be it a musician or regular fan, to instantly identify any music they hear.

For Brisbane band Sheppard this technology has been instrumental in their growth. Shazam has had such a profound impact on Sheppard because many of their songs have been used in commercials and television show soundtracks, thus exposing them to millions of people who may otherwise not have ever found them.

“I know personally I’ve watched a couple of tv shows and quickly pulled out Shazam when there is a song that I like and discovered quite a few artists that way. So we’re always really thrilled to hear that we’ve been featured in a TV show or commercial,” said George Sheppard.

This new age of musical discovery has seen Sheppard grow in popularity both here in Australia and globally at an astronomic rate.

Sheppard

“It’s been a pretty wild ride,” said George, “The fact that we’ve been able to turn our hobby into something that a lot of people enjoy and we get the opportunity to travel the world, meet a bunch of cool people and play a heaps of festivals is a dream come true.”

The bands latest record Watching The Sky has been the culmination of years of “really hard work, blood, sweat and tears” so for the band to see the success they’ve had is “an amazing feeling and very relieving” explained George.This record has also allowed the group to experience moments that they will never forget.

“One of the coolest moments was when I got to zip-line into the stage at Rock And Rio in-front of 100,000 people while the band played Rage Against The Machine’s Bulls On Parade, I don’t know how I’m going to top that.”

Whilst the journey has been filled with incredible moments George is quick to mention that it is still a “gruelling” job, particularly because of the extensive travel.

The bands latest tour certainly hasn’t helped ease that travel burden through as Shepard have set out on a tour which specifically focuses on reaching regional areas and fans alongside the major cities.

“We just wanted to say thank you to as many of our fans as possible.”

Sep 9.The Metro, 624 George St, Sydney. $34.80+b.f.

Tickets & Info: www.metrotheatre.com.au

Variety Salutes Elton John An Interview With Adam Brand

By Jamie Apps This week a group of Australia’s top musical talents from every genre imaginable will come together in support of the incredible children’s charity Variety.

The Variety Salutes Elton John event will feature artists such as country superstar Adam Brand alongside Monica Trapaga, Paulini, Damien Leith and a raft of others as they pay homage to the illustrious career of Elton John.

Variety - the Children’s Charity believes all Aussie kids deserve a fair go in life.

Which is why they support kids who have a disability, chronic illness, who are facing geographic isolation, financial hardship or require critical care. By running the upcoming event in conjunction with Empire Touring Variety hopes to raise the much needed funds to continue their efforts supporting Aussie kids in desperate need.

For Adam Brand it wasn’t so much a connection with Elton John or his music but rather an intense personal connection to the cause that compelled him so strongly to become involved in this event.

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city hub 6 SEPTEMBER 2018

Lewis’ direction provides some comical non-verbal flourishes, especially in the performance of Ben Gerrard, but Dan Potra’s backstage set is unnecessarily cluttered.

In the end, Alceste is so critical of almost everyone around her, including her lover, that one wonders why she doesn’t desert human society for a desert island, given the strength and stridency of her feelings.

It’s no surprise, then (spoiler alert), that the couple celebrated at the conclusion of this engaging production does not include either our heroine or her lover.

You’ll have to buy a ticket to find out who the lucky couple is. (ID) Until Sep 28. Opera House.

Bennelong Point, Sydney. $30-$85+b.f.

Tickets & Info: www.sydneyoperahouse.com

“I lost my nephew to neuroblastoma cancer 10 years ago and spent a lot of time with my sister as we went through that journey and treatment,” Brand solemnly recalled, “I saw first hand during that time exactly what families go through when this terrible thing hits a family and a young child, so when I was asked to be a part of the event I immediately said yes.”

As a country artist Brand also has a strong connection to the families from remote areas who often require the most assistance during these tough periods.

“As you can imagine when a child gets ill and has to leave their home to go to the city for long extended periods of treatment the amount of pressure that puts on families financially and emotionally is incredible.

“That journey is such a difficult one, so these charities do an amazing job putting a support network out there for families, I don’t know what they’d do without them.”

Sep 10. Enmore Theatre, 118-132 Enmore Rd, Newtown. $89-$169+b.f. Tickets & Info: www.variety.org.au

The Amity Affliction - Misery Even if you’re not a devout listener of hardcore rock you will have undoubtably heard of The Amity Affliction, you may have even rocked out to one of their more notable past releases. Bearing this in mind the latest record from the group, Misery, carries with it a daunting weight of expectations.

Immediately the records kicks off with a brand new sonic direction which includes a new emphasis on synth sounds and a softer pop edge to the groups uniquely hardcore roots.

This new pop-core sound still carries with it a hefty helping of angst within the lyrics but sonically it’s hard to get past this new direction.

The new direction is such a dramatic shift for The Amity Affliction that it will likely create a vast rift within the community. Ardent supporters of the band from their hardcore roots will be repelled by the new pop-core sound but conversely this record may act as a gateway into the hardcore world for new fans.

Overall this is a very difficult record to score.

As an avid hardcore listener I am disappointed but perhaps your reaction will be the exact opposite. (JA) WW1/2

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THE NAKED CITY

Unspoken Words

AUSTRALIA’S POWER SAVIOUR!

The Nun

McQueen

The wait for the fifth instalment of The Conjuring universe is over.

The Nun is a gothic supernatural horror spinning off from The Conjuring 2. The film is directed by Corin Hardy with the screenplay and story coming from Gary Dauberman and James Wan. Staring in the freaky flick is Taissa Farmiga, Demián

Bichir and Jonas Bloquet.

Set in 1952, the film follows a Catholic priest and a training nun yet to take her vows as they are called on by the Vatican to investigate the suicide of a nun at a monastery in Romania.

Soon after arriving the pair realise that what are meant to be holy grounds are in fact soaked with evil.

It may not have been the intent of the filmmakers, but The Nun is a lot of fun.

Not that frightening, though there was no disappointment in the jump scares. The film could have focused more on the origin of Valek but even still, fans of the franchise should be pleased. (RH) WWW1/2 18

city hub 6 SEPTEMBER 2018

Just the title Unspoken Words evokes memories of sitting round a campfire telling stories to enrich lives and develop a sense of community. There are many ways, however, to tell a story. From September 7 to 17 as part of The Newtown Festival there will be performances, installations, workshops and discussions concerning the art of storytelling in abundance.

Unspoken Words will be bringing people together to share their stories in a safe space. The festival’s theme for 2018 is health and selfcare. Imagine writing short poems to each other on blank cards handed out by the organisers whilst drinking your coffee (Corelli’s Cafe Newtown) or standing at a story listening booth on King Street.

What about the same story told

It’s often remarked that there is a very thin thread separating catwalk couture and abstract art, and arguably fashion designer Alexander McQueen snipped that thread. In the biographical documentary chronicling McQueen’s life and early, self-determined death, directors Ian Bonhôte and Peter Ettedgui reveal an awkward, unlikely figure whose controversial, dark fantasy-inspired clothing and runway shows shone a hot, uncomfortable light on him in the late 90s early 2000s.

Piecing together interviews,

media footage and personal videos, the film moves chronologically from McQueen’s schoolboy love of drawing, to a chance job on Saville Row that unearthed his natural gift as a cutter. From a loving home in a rough part of town, and known as Lee to friends and family, McQueen clearly had trouble transitioning into the pretentious, performance based world of high fashion.

It’s a fascinating film because it’s a fascinating world and one we rarely get to see. (RB) WWW1/2

from three different perspectives at the same event and each one recorded for playback?

“Through community consultation the idea is to bring people together through stories” says director Emma Rose. Will Roach, the manager for Lifeline, will be holding workshops on positive masculinity at Newtown Neighbourhood Centre throughout the festival too. Even The Imperial Hotel get’s a look in with performance poetry on Sep 9 and the closing celebration on Sep 16.

Donations can be made to the crowdfunding campaign. All donations of $20 and over get a ticket to a festival session of their choosing, Performances are AUSLAN-interpreted.

Sep 7-17. Various Venues & Prices. Tickets & Info: www.unspokenwords.org

Sydney Latin American Film Festival 2018 Kiling Jesus. Laura Mora

With Coffin Ed It helped bring down a Prime Minister and remains a quagmire of ideological bickering and governmental indecision.The ongoing power debate, coal versus renewables, has yet to be resolved but help could be on the way – or to put it more correctly, ‘on the waves’.

Russia has recently launched a floating power station equipped with two nuclear reactors.The Akademik Lomonosov has been under construction since 2009 and during that time has attracted some less than flattering nicknames like the ‘SS Chernobyl’ and the ‘Nuclear Titanic’.

Nevertheless the technological behemoth will soon be in action, pumping out enough energy to power some 70,000 homes.

The good news for Australia is that the Russian nuclear energy corporation Roastom is keen to establish a production line, exporting their floating reactors all over the world – with

industry, taking passengers to such appropriate destinations as the Bikini and Moruroa Atolls. It’s no secret that the old Chernobyl nuclear plant near Pripyat in Ukraine has become a tourist destination in its own right – albeit of a somewhat offbeat nature. The nuclear cruises could easily become the next best thing with quirky loving cruise passengers downing ‘poloniom’ cocktails at the bar and feasting on cheese ‘meltdowns’ (wow, they actually glow in the dark!). Passengers could download a geiger counter app as a precaution against any on board nuclear radiation countries such as China, Indonesia,Algeria or any leak of used nuclear coolant into and Argentina all showing interest. the jacuzzis or swimming pool. They Get in the queue Scott Morrison and would naturally have to sign a disclaimer make the purchase of at least a dozen of at the beginning of the cruise removing these babies as part of your election liability from the Australian Government package for 2019.The traditional if they ever developed ARS (that’s Acute objections to building a nuclear power Radiation Syndrome) but hey - no need station on Australian soil will be blown to go into any detail. out of the water although that’s probably It’s a winner ScoMo, and it would do not the best way to describe it. heaps to bolster Australian/Russian No need for a filthy new coal powered détente and dissuade those Ruskie station with a fleet of these Russian bastards from hacking into marvels cruising all around the everything from Australia Post to Australian coast, deployed wherever Peter Dutton’s dropbox of au pairs there is a potential power shortage or needing visas. Of course in the failure of the grid. The ships each carry a unlikely case of another Fukushima crew of around 70 (more jobs for the Government could simply divert Aussies) and are decked out with the the floating time bombs as far away kind of facilities you might find on a from the Australian coastline as P&O cruise to Vanuatau – a swimming possible – somewhere totally remote pool, leisure lounges and a fine dining like the tranquil waters surrounding restaurant.

Nauru. As with the thousand or so And here lies even more potential. asylum seekers still languishing there When the reactors aren’t needed to any massive explosion and meltdown prop up the grid they could easily be would be out of sight and out of marketed to the booming cruise mind. We might never know about it.

sensations. Some of the other films in the line-up are La Familia, Retablo, animated comedy Underdogs, Home Team and Tigers Are Not Afraid, with director Issa Lopez receiving praise from both Stephen King and Guillermo Del Toro. (RH)

CITYHUB PICKS

Get The Weed: a hilarious mockumentary about a secret mission ordered by President Jose The Sydney Latin American Film Festival (Pepe) Muijca to find 50 tonnes of is back from September 6-15, for cannabis. Hiring a brownie-making its 13th annual buffet of juicy films. pharmacist to pull off the job the film This year the festival will feature a shows off light heartened comedy huge line-up of films from Uruguay, paired with an all too known subject Brazil, Argentina, Columbia, Mexico lingering in the midst. WWW and more. The programme will be Killing Jesus: set in Medellin, the presented at Addison Road Picture real-life revenge drama comes from House, Dendy Opera Quays and Melbourne film graduate Laura Mora PYT Fairfield, where an array of and follows a young girl who solely immensely talented filmmakers will witnesses the assassination of her have their creations on show. father. Spotting the murderer at a The festival will open with the Australian premier of Spider Thieves, party she befriends him over time finding maybe Jesus is just as much a based off a true story after a victim as herself. A chilling true story group of teenage girls steal a few that pulls on the strings on some luxuries, thrusting them into the uncomfortable emotions. WWW1/2 public spotlight making them media Sep 6-15.Various Venues & Prices.Tickets & Info: www.sydneylatinofilmfestival.org

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