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FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019 • 3
What’s inside
Mirror Moms magazine Published and distributed by the Altoona Mirror 301 Cayuga Ave. Altoona, PA 16602 www.altoonamirror.com www.mirrormoms.com
Publisher Edward W. Kruger
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elcome to the February/March/April 2019 issue of Mirror Moms. It’s still cold outside so on Page 7 are some ideas of what to do inside and outside, from acting out a book to feeding the birds or sledding. It’s never too early to talk with your child about higher education. Colleges or trade schools can help students make decisions on what to study, which institutions would be a good fit and tips on the Free Application for Federal Student Aid and applying for scholarships. See Page 8. An article on Page 12 focuses on the benefits, including helping students with life skills, of learning to play an instrument or studying music. Before choosing child care, see Page 14 for ways to research the option. On Page 20, read advice from an area family and an Altoona based psychologist on getting children on board when expecting a new baby and making sure everyone is involved. Columns in this issue include how reading can impact your life and making sure every child has a chance to play. And Kids in the Spotlight on Page 26 features photos from a recent MOMS Club Storytime at the Hollidaysburg Area Public Library. If you have an idea for an article you would like to see in Mirror Moms, please contact me at bcowan@altoonamirror.com or 9467454. See you in May!
Sincerely,
Barbara Cowan Editor
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General Manager Raymond M. Eckenrode 814-946-7463 reckenrode@altoonamirror.com Magazine Sales Manager Tracy Brooks 814-949-7021 tbrooks@altoonamirrror.com
Editor Barbara Cowan 814-946-7454 bcowan@altoonamirror.com Ad design by Lori Blake Layout and design Nick Anna
Mirror Moms magazine is published by the Altoona Mirror. Copyright 2019 Altoona Mirror. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or part without permission is prohibited.
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The question: “What is your favorite family dinner?”
Drew and Christine Barkman, Queen Son: Vander Barkman, 2 “All of them are my favorites because I get to eat every dinner together with my wife and son, so every meal is special,’’ Drew said, and his wife agreed. Drew is newly-medically retired from the Navy, he said.
Sherry Sossong, Portage Daughter: Keira Sossong, 13 Mom: “Pasta, spaghetti and meatballs.” Daughter: “Chicken mac ’n’ cheese.”
Amanda Hamilton, Altoona Daughter: Nevaeh Hamilton, 3 “Beef and noodles, with mashed potatoes,’’ Amanda said.
Diane Iraca, Irvona Daughter: Missy Iraca Mom: “Ham.” Daugther: “Pizza”
Compiled by Mary Haley, photos by Matthew Callan at the Logan Valley Mall, Altoona
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FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019 • 5
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Features 7
Winter fun inside and out What to do when the temperature falls
8
Higher education Know what to study? Not sure?
14 The right decision Do your homework on child care
28 Calendar of events
26
Kids in the spotlight
20 Preparing for baby
Parents can smooth the way with older siblings on board
15 Read, live long and prosper Columns
16 A look at motherhood in the US
17 Rec group leaves no child behind
18 Add some color to your world
Coming March 24 Superhero Day at the Blair County Convention Center 6 • FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019
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By Kristy MacKaben For Mirror Moms et’s face it. Winter seems to drag on forever, especially if you have young children and you live in Central Pennsylvania. Sledding and building snowmen are great fun when the snow is just right and the temperatures aren’t too low. And indoor play places are usually a fun treat for kids, but might not be in the budget for daily or weekly visits. Sometimes you need to get creative to keep kids entertained when it’s just too cold to say “Go play outside.” Here are some of our favorites for winter fun:
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Bring a book to Life We all know the benefits of reading to children. But what if you brought the book to life? This could mean something as simple as acting out a book or doing a craft or activity to go along with the book. Here are some books and activities that pair well: Magic Stone Soup: By Pam Holden This tale about a traveler who makes soup for villagers from a magic stone is a classic. Make stone soup with your children. This could be done outside or inside. Fill a pot with any ingredient your children see fit. (This isn’t meant to be an edible soup.) Use your imagination and pinecones become potatoes, and leaves become carrots. Anything goes! Add water for the broth. When you’re ready to cook add vinegar and baking soda and watch it “boil”. We’re Going on a Bear Hunt: By Michael Rosen Most kids have heard this catchy story before. There’s a rhythm to the story, which makes it captivating for kids. Make this book come to life (inside or outside) by creating your own bear hunt. Create obstacles similar to the ones mentioned in the book. For a winding river, use a jump rope. For a bridge, use blankets. Create a cave
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with sheets and chairs to hide the bear. Kids will love going on the hunt, then rehiding the bear.
Bring winter indoors Make Human Snowmen This activity is silly fun, and doesn’t require too much preplanning. Make a carrot nose, eyes, mouth and buttons from construction paper. Gather toilet paper rolls, scarves, hats and whatever else you want to decorate your snowman. Take turns wrapping each other in toilet paper. Then use tape to make your human snowman.
camp? Set up a tent, or a makeshift tent with sheets and chairs. Break out the flashlights. Tell not-so-scary stories, and make s’mores. Feed the Birds This activity can be a bit messy so plan accordingly. Collect pinecones. Tie yarn or string on the pinecones. Smear nut butter on the pinecones. If you wish to avoid nuts, Crisco will work. Roll pinecones in bird seed, then hang from a tree, deck, and bush or somewhere birds can access the food.
Break the ice Place small toys or items like corn kernels or berries in ice cube trays. Freeze overnight. Dump the ice in a container and use mallets to pound the ice and retrieve the small items.
Connect with nature (inside or outside) Camp out! Who says you need to be outdoors to
FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019 • 7
Courtesy photos
Prospective students attend a tour at Saint Francis University in Loretto.
By Amanda Drumm For Mirror Moms raduating high school is an important milestone. But before donning the gown and tossing the cap into the air, high school students should think about what they want to pursue after commencement. A college or a trade school is a sought after option, but many students and parents do not know how to get the process started. Local admissions experts want to give families guidance on how to begin the search for higher education. According to the National Center for Education Statistics,19.9 million students were projected to attend American col-
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leges and universities in fall 2018. Of the students who know they want to attend higher learning institutions, there are many who may not know what career they want to do for the rest of their lives. Local admissions counselors say that is common, and it should not hold anyone back from exploring schools. “The world is their oyster. If they’re not sure what they want to do, they can go look at other things they care about, like size of school and distance,” said Steven Simons, associate dean of admission at Juniata College in Huntingdon. Many schools, such as Juniata, have exploratory or undecided majors for freshmen who are not sure of what they want
to study. “For a student who truly doesn’t know what to be or what to study, we encourage exploration so a decision doesn’t need to be made right away,” Simons said. Saint Francis University in Loretto and Pennsylvania College of Technology in Williamsport also offer these types of majors for students who may not know what field they want to pursue. Admissions staff stress using school visitations as a key way to narrowing down the school a student will attend, even if undecided about a major. “Visiting campuses is the best way to get a feel for that college experience. Tap into current students to get their authentic WWW.MIRRORMOMS.COM
Students and their parents should explore federal grants and scholarships to help offset the price of education. thoughts, opinions and ideas. They will give the real deal, and this generation of students is looking for that,” said Audriana Empet, associate director of admissions at Pennsylvania College of Technology, also known as Penn College. “I always recommend visiting schools. Students need to make lists of schools that are small and schools that are large, with some urban and some rural. Make sure they visit a cross section of schools and are not just visiting places where their friends are attending,” said Erin McCloskey, vice president of enrollment management at Saint Francis University in Loretto. Simons also suggests that visiting colleges is the best way to get a feel for schools and to see where a student may fit best. “We encourage visitations. Going to visit is the most important thing that you can do. You can visit broadly then narrow it down to where you want to apply. Start by visiting the admissions representative that visits your high school. Going to a college’s fair or virtual webinar might help you narrow down or add a school without flying or driving a long distance,” he said. Once a student has decided on where to attend, much thought can be put into the field that the student will take up. Parents are encouraged to listen to their children on what they like to do and what their gifts are. “Listen to the strengths of your student. Also, understand where their passion is. It’s important, but all too often families choose jobs based on outcome, not what a student will be best suited for or happy in.
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It is stressful, but what is important is to be passionate about what you’re doing,” said McCloskey. She also mentioned that once at Saint Francis, students have the benefit of academic counseling and career services to help them hone in on a decision. “They can facilitate a career interest survey, which will take into account strengths and how a student is leaning. They’re always helpful,” she said.
How to pay for higher education The costs of higher education keep increasing and can be intimidating. Here are some helpful hints from our interviewed admissions representatives to understand the process: Fill out the Free Application for Federal Student Aid (FAFSA) Fill out this form as soon as it is live on the web during the fall of the senior year in high school. All students are encouraged to complete the FAFSA — even if they don’t think they will receive funds — because they may be surprised at the outcome. Also, many schools require that the form is completed for scholarship awards. Do not be scared of sticker shock The cost to attend most schools is not
The staff at Penn College also are helpful in administering tests for their undecided students who want help selecting a major. “Career services can give an assessment to students with questions that gauge personality and interests, which helps match students with majors at the college,” Empet said.
Continued on Page 10 the price that is on the website. There are federal grants and other scholarships that help to cover the cost. Filling out the FAFSA is an important step to opening these avenues. Apply for all scholarships — everywhere Scholarships are free money that does not need to be reimbursed, so apply for as many as possible. Apply for scholarships from local churches, community organizations and any other place that are offering them. There are also online databases for scholarship matching, such as FastWeb, which are great places to find and apply for scholarships. Apply for scholarships early and be mindful of deadlines. Many organizations start taking applications for scholarships during a student’s freshmen year of high school. Apply as early as possible to make sure deadlines are met.
FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019 • 9
Continued from Page 9
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A large part of the college decision-making process is to allow students to take responsibility for this decision. Admissions staff encourage students to take the reins when looking at and having contact with potential colleges because it helps prepare the student for doing the work in college — and it also sets them apart from the beginning. “It’s great if parents are involved, but they need to allow the student to do the work. It’s impressive when a student picks up the phone — it creates an instant connection. It is usually the parents who communicate, but it really stands out when a student gets in touch. You can still be involved and help your child, but sometimes the best thing to do is to allow your student to do the work. That always stands out,” Simons said. Students should not be fearful if they do not know what to study. The institutions will work with the students to help them get on a career path in time so that they are not adding years or additional money to a college career. “We do have students who come in undecided and they take classes in different areas to help them hone in on what really speaks to them. Our students must commit to working with an academic advisor. Our academic advisors do not just pick out classes. They work on a plan for classes that work toward a degree, but allow them to explore. It’s very thoughtful; because we know more time is more money,” said Empet. The key is to begin the search — to look at a number of schools and choose the one that fits. If you’re unsure of your field of study, narrow it down when you arrive. And remember the admissions staff at colleges are there to help guide students. “Students should know they are not alone. There are — at every institution — staff and faculty who can relate to their experience and help them. There will be people at all of the colleges there for them. Start by just picking up the phone or sending an email. There is no such thing as a dumb question. As an admissions counselor my job is to help navigate. I understand it is intimidating, but we’re not gatekeepers, weare here to help,” said Simons. WWW.MIRRORMOMS.COM
Don’t spank: Pediatricians warn parents of long-term harm By Lindsey Tanner The Associated Press he nation’s leading pediatricians’ group has strengthened its advice against spanking and other physical punishment because of the potential for long-term harm. In an updated policy, the American Academy of Pediatrics says that can include aggression, brain changes, substance abuse and suicidal behavior in adulthood.
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Studies published in the past two decades have bolstered evidence that spanking can make young kids more aggressive and defiant. The academy says research since its 1998 discipline policy led to the update. It says spanking is falling out of favor among parents, especially those with young children. While some parents still believe it can lead to short-term improvements in behavior, studies show spanking is no more effective than non-physical punishment, including timeouts, setting firm limits and establishing unwanted consequences. The group also suggests putting favorite toys away or reducing screen time. “Although many children who were spanked become happy, healthy adults, current evidence suggests that spanking is not necessary and may result in long-term harm” the academy advises. Studies published in the past two decades have bolstered evidence that spanking can make young kids more aggressive and defiant. Other studies have linked physical punishment in childhood with later brain changes in young adults including reduced gray matter and elevated levels of stress hormones. Suicidal behavior, substance abuse and anger are among other potential long-term consequences of spanking, studies have suggested. The academy also warns against harsh verbal abuse including shaming kids, citing research linking it with depression and behavior problems in teens. Online: Follow AP Medical Writer Lindsey Tanner on Twitter at @LindseyTanner. The Associated Press Health & Science Department receives support from the Howard Hughes Medical Institute’s Department of Science Education. The AP is solely responsible for all content. WWW.MIRRORMOMS.COM
FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019 • 11
Courtesy photo
Altoona Area School District music instructor Teri Myers holds a music class at Penn Lincoln Elementary School.
By Amanda Drumm For Mirror Moms usic conveys emotion. Songs are played in commercials and on movies to express feelings. Songs can powerfully make a person reminisce about a certain place or time. There is no debate that music can provide powerful sentiments, but it is not noted as much that music delivers benefits to a child’s work inside and outside of the classroom. It provides critical life skills and also enhances a child’s learning in other unexpected ways. “When studying music, children learn that mistakes are a part of the learning process and make us better at our craft because to succeed you have to discover why the mistake has happened and figure out how to fix it so it doesn’t happen next time. Then you have to practice, practice, practice so it becomes easier and you can learn how to make more music. This process instills in a child perseverance, problem-solving, selfconfidence and work ethic,” said Teri Myers, who has been teaching music for 20 years. She is currently a music teacher at Mowrie A. Ebner and Penn-Lincoln elementary schools. In addition to learning critical skills such as perseverance, problem-solving, self-con-
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fidence and work ethic, children also learn discipline. “The ability to get good on an instrument to a very large extent is similar to staying physically in shape or being fit. No matter what financial background you are from, you can’t pay anyone to lose weight for you. It’s the same with music; you can’t pay anyone to practice for you. Music is one of these things that at end of the day is about committing yourself to the discipline that matters,” said Anthony Cornet of Altoona. Cornet knows about discipline with music. Since around the age of 6, he started studying under his father, Rick Cornet. Anthony has now played for more than 20 years and earned his doctorate in musical arts. He divides his time between teaching at the Shenandoah Conservatory of Shenandoah University in Virginia and giving private lessons alongside his father at the Anthony Cornet School of Music in Altoona. He also cites accountability as an important skill that music fosters in those who study it. “I think one thing that is great about piano in particular is the harmony — all parts are working together. With piano harmony many notes at once work together with one another. That is a very valuable thing for students because it serves sort of as a small microcosm as the piano has dif-
ferent things that have to work together to achieve one unified goal. It’s a valuable life lesson in general. You observe that as you play some things work together and some things don’t work. That’s true in basic work and business interactions. Harmony in music helps us understand lessons in life as well,” Anthony said. Students also develop organization by learning an instrument. “It is probably children’s first real exposure to organizing time where they see a benefit. It also helps develop concentration,” said Rick Cornet. In addition to the intangible values music instills in its students, studies have shown that those who study music perform well in school. Music is built on patterns and students learn to recognize those variants in other academic subjects and their studies. “Rhythm is math. A beat can be broken down into fractions and an entire piece of music often follows a pattern that can be expressed mathematically. Children learn in many different ways; mathematically, linguistically, spatially, kinesthetically and interpersonally, just to name a few. Every kind of learning can be used to study and perWWW.MIRRORMOMS.COM
form music,” said Myers. Rick agrees. “The skills that are developed in young people from an exposure to music is not a question of opinion. It’s helpful linguistically and mathematically,” he said. He also cited the well-known Mozart Effect that listening to classical music improves memory and learning. Rick employs the Suzuki Method of teaching to his young students, in which they listen to classical music at a young age prior to the start of their formal training. Rick has been teaching music for 36 years and has taught several students who graduated as valedictorians from their respective high school classes. “I think music enhances academic abilities,” he said. Even if not trying to perform better in school, music heightens other skills for students. Beyond that, its beautiful melodies are everywhere, and should be learned to garner a greater appreciation of it. “Music is everywhere. Every culture in the world uses music to celebrate and mourn, worship and play. If music is so pervasive world-wide, how can we as a country afford not to provide our children with a knowledge base to be able to participate in it? Not every child is going to spend their life studying or performing music, but every child will continue to be surrounded with it no matter where they go. The more they know about it, the more they’ll be able to enjoy it and grow from it,” said Myers.
Six ways to get your child to practice their instrument Music lessons can be paid for, but actually practicing the instrument is key to learning. Here are some ways to help your child to practice: 1. Go to concerts to expose your child to music and its many varieties. 2. Let your child choose the instrument. More success will come if the instrument is of the child’s choice. 3. Leave the instrument sitting out in a safe place so it can be played throughout the day. 4. Have regular practices so that the child is used to the routine. 5. Set a goal for each practice so the child develops something from it. Success during practice helps a child’s motivation and want to keep going. 6. Be patient and encouraging. Practices may entail reviewing many of the same notes or melodies, but patience (and practice) do make perfect music.
Anthony Cornet of Altoona has played music for more than 20 years and teaches it at Shenandoah Conservatory of Shenandoah University in Virginia. He also gives private lessons alongside his father, Rick Cornet, at the Anthony Cornet School of Music in Altoona.
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FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019 • 13
By Crystal Price For Mirror Moms ew parents, employed parents, and life adjustments prompts parents to be faced with the difficult task of “finding someone/somewhere to take care of my child”. The task can feel very stressful when you begin to contemplate all of your options of who could provide care to your child. Some parents begin their search by researching basic facts, such as, cost, location, and hours of operation. Many parents will take a step further and visit the location in question to see the site and meet staff. How do you come to a decision of who to trust to care for your child? Some may advise you listen to the “word of mouth” (reputation) and/or listen to your gut feeling”. As a parent who has had an irreversible devastating negative childcare experience, I later learned that there are facts that can be found about a facility’s history and patterns of care or lack of care. Finding those facts could influence of where you decide to place your child’s care. Research the facts: I Know the Certification (license) history of the facility I View inspection history I Become acquainted with Keystone Stars
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Keystone Stars: Keystone STARS (Standards, Training/Professional Development, Assistance, Resources) is a Pennsylvania quality rating and improvement system that provides research-based standards in areas of child care. Keystone STARS provides a rating of 1-4 stars. The more stars a facility has the higher the quality of care in teacher qualifications and providing a learning environment with activities, management and partnerships with families/community. Keystone STARS can be used as a tool to determine research based quality of care that is provided to the children at the center.
Why is it so important to research the “facts”? The “fact” is that “reputation/word of mouth” is opinion based. Not all centers provide verbal or written information to parents providing the results found from center inspections. It is also probable that some centers do not verbally inform parents of complaints filed and state outcomes of the complaint. If you research a
facilities certificate and inspection history, you will be able to determine a history or pattern of care/lack of care provided by the center in question. Know that not all childcare facilities choose to participate in the Keystone STARS program, but for the facilities that do, quality of care is indicated with the number of stars recieved. Know that your child is worth the time to research the facts because they are priceless.
Resources:
I Keystone STAR informationhttp://www.dhs.pa.gov/citizens/childcare earlylearning/keystonestarsinformationfor parents/index.htm I Compass Pa- “Frequently asked questions” — https://www.compass.state.pa.us /Compass.Web/ProviderSearch/FAQ?FAQ= 13#panel13 I Compass Pa- Home site — https://www .compass.state.pa.us/compass.web/ Public/CMPHome Crystal Price is a licensed professional counselor, a national certified counselor and pyschologist.
Certification history: The Pennsylvania Department of Human Services regulates and monitors childcare centers, child care group homes, and family child care center certification. A Certification of Compliance (license) enables centers to legally operate and maintain state monitoring. Research and view the history of the center of your choice. A Certification of Compliance indicates that the center regulates within state required regulations. A “Provisional” certificate indicates that the center is on a “probationary” certificate due to not following state regulations. To view online Certification history, search for the facility in question on: https://www .compass.state.pa.us/compass .web/Public/ CMPHome and view the “Certification” history under “Inspections”.
Inspection history: The Pennsylvania Department of Human Services inspects childcare facilities. Types of inspections include: Initial review, renewals, unannounced monitoring, or in response to a complaint. View the details of each inspection history report. To view online inspection history, search for the facility in question on: https://www.compass.state.pa.us/compass .web/Public/CMPHome and view the “Inspection details” under the “Inspection” history.
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LIBRARY LINK
Read, live long and prosper! his is a good time of year to read. Enjoying a book inside, while the weather is so cold and gray outside, just can’t be beat. Think for a minute about the last book that you read and really enjoyed. What did it feel like? What does it feel like to enjoy a book? You feel immersed in a different reality. The world and its stresses become a distant memory or even go away completely while you enjoy a new and fascinating story. You empathize with the characters in your book. You rejoice through good events and suffer through the bad; maybe even comparing a certain character’s experiences and choices with your own. As you continue through your book, you have the feeling that you are learning and growing, and it feels good. You come back to your life feeling refreshed, and looking forward to your next book. And if you enjoy reading series’, you certainly know the pain of finishing the latest book, and then realizing that it’s the most recently published one, forcing you to wait months or even years till the sequel is published and you find out what happens next! If you read for pleasure, it’s one of the best ways to keep you reading, all your life long. Most people would agree that reading makes their lives feel richer and more enjoyable, but did you know that it actually does help you to live a longer and healthier life? Yale researchers did a study in 2016 which factored out differences in gender, wealth, education and health, showing that people who read more than three and a half hours per week live almost two years longer than people who don’t read at all. Not just that, but (to quote the study): “Book readers also experienced a 20 percent reduction in risk of mortality over the 12 years of follow up compared to non-book readers.” Two years is a long time. And having a 20 percent better chance of living compared to people who don’t read is pretty good odds! If I can improve my length and quality of life by making reading, which is already enjoyable, part of my existence, I’m going to do it! There are two processes involved in reading, and they are processes in our brains. They are the cognitive processes of deep reading and emotional connection. The Yale research I mentioned before defines them this way: Deep reading is “a slow process where the reader engages with the book and seeks to understand it within its own context, and within the context of the outside world”. Writer Nicholas Sparr says that deep reading is “the process of calming our mind, and the ability to focus on the story”.
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Emotional connection means that “the reader empathizes with the characters, and that promotes social perception and emotional intelligence”. You could interpret these explanations as a Melanie fancy way of saying Ramsey that reading gives us the superpowers of calming and focusing our minds, and the ability to put ourselves into other people’s shoes. These skills help us to learn and to grow in very positive ways throughout our lives! We know that we want these skills for our children, but please, don’t leave yourself out of the equation. Reading is a powerful and positive force for everyone lucky enough and persistent enough to use it. If we didn’t have books, how could we learn and then practice these important skills of deep calm, focus and empathy?
Could we still get the same enjoyment, and the same benefits that deep reading and emotional connection give us, without reading? Books help us to virtually meet new people, talk with others from far distances in time and culture, listen to great thinkers and orators, travel to new places, experience new cultural and social ideas, live through momentous events, even safely try risky and dangerous things (and learn what to do and what NOT to do!) while having adventures, and more ... but it would take a lot more time, a lot more money, and lot more resources (and possibly a time machine) for us to recreate all the positive and enjoyable things that reading books can do. For all of us, I wish very enjoyable reading, and long and happy lives. If you have a friend or neighbor who isn’t sure how to get started, please invite them to visit their local Blair County public library! Melanie Ramsey is the director of Youth and Children’s Services at the Hollidaysburg Area Public Library.
FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019 • 15
THE BOOKWORM
A look at motherhood in the US F
irst shift begins in early morning. You hit work then, and run all day for that weekly paycheck. Second shift starts the minute you pick up the kids and arrive home to run all evening until you fall into bed. Is this the way you wanted things to be or, after reading the new book “Forget ‘Having It All:’ How America Messed Up Motherhood — and How to Fix It” by Amy Westervelt do you actually have too much? With two young children and a solid journalTerri Schlichenmeyer ism career, Amy Westervelt is busy. She’s sometimes overloaded, which makes her think about motherhood in America versus motherhood elsewhere. Overseas, mothers get more support; here, not always so much. But to understand “Why … motherhood in America kinda suck(s)” we first must know its history. Says Westervelt , America “was colonized by people who believed … in the power of self,” and that “led to both greatness and depravity.” It also led to a patriarchal society in which women “were seen as responsible for the moral character of their children” but men controlled white women’s lives, inheritances, childbirth, birth control, and most childcare decisions. Conversely, Black and Native American women generally reared their children communally — which, as it happens, is an ancient method and the way many societies raise their kids today. Modern mothers may enjoy more help from their spouses than their foremothers got but motherhood is still rather complicated. Women are criticized for “helicopter” mothering, and for giving their kids more freedom. They’re made to feel guilt for working, and for missing work when needed. They may be denied birth control, but are given little-to-no governmental or societal support when they have children. Mothers of color, single mothers, and lesbian parents have these issues, and more. Westervelt says solutions start with demands for improved maternity leave, and for government-supported daycare. We should encourage boys to be nurturing. 16 • FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019
Passing the ERA would help, as would allowing better access to birth control. Finally, we need to stop shaming the choices women make, and “expand our notions of family to… go beyond the nuclear family.” While it’s true that a minute of browsing may tempt you to dismiss this book as just another feminist rant, hold up. Yes, author Amy Westervelt admits to both ranting and feminism and yes, there’s anger here. Still, “Forget ‘Having It All’” deserves a really good second look. If nothing but for the history, this book will open eyes. You may think you know how your foremothers tried to raise families without losing identities, but Westervelt lays
it bare again. You may think we’ve transcended old issues, but she shows how we’ve only rearranged them. And you might think the grass is greener elsewhere, but she’s inclusive here: childless women and same-sex mothers don’t get off easy in today’s “messed up motherhood.” No doubt, this book is loaded with controversy, but it’s equally loaded with solutions. It’s one of those kinds of books that will make you want to take copious notes. If you’re so inclined, “Forget ‘Having It All’” may also be a book that shifts your thinking. “Forget ‘Having It All: How America Messed Up Motherhood’ — and How to Fix It” by Amy Westervelt c.2018, Seal Press, $27, 309 pages Terri Schlichenmeyer has been reading since she was 3 years old, and she never goes anywhere without a book. She lives in Wisconsin.
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CONTACT: ANN DARROW, DYSLEXIA SPECIALIST • 814-733-4145 forthekidslearning.com WWW.MIRRORMOMS.COM
WINNING ISN’T EVERYTHING
Rec group leaves no child behind s the calendar turns and we begin yet another year I feel this is a good time to reflect back on the 20 years I have had the privilege to serve Central Blair County, first as a Program Coordinator and now as the Executive Director of the Central Blair Recreation and Park Commission. As you can imagine I have seen and implemented many changes at the Commission in those 20 years, but the one thing that has been a consistent is the mission of the Central Blair Recreation and Park Commission. Obviously there are many components that make up the Recreation and Park Commission and that mission, however the most important is that we provide the youth in our community an opportunity to participate in any of our activities regardless of their financial situation or ability. The major benefit to participating in activities though the Recreation Commission is that no child is left behind. If your child wants to participate in a sport he or she
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will have that opportunity to do so with the Commission. The Commission has a must play rule policy that is monitored for playing time of every participant in all of our competitive sports programs. Mike The staff at the RecreHofer ation Commission does a wonderful job of supervising the programs, and all the details that go along with them. The best part about the must play rule is the fact that all the kids get to play, but the games are still very competitive at the same time. There is a nice balance between stressing the importance of participating, as well as, the will to compete and win the game. The mission of the Central Blair Recreation and Park Commission will continue to evolve as time moves on, but the one thing I
If your child wants to participate in a sport he or she will have that opportunity to do so with the Commision. Mike Hofer can guarantee, is that the youth here in our community will be the primary focus of the staff and our organization both now and into the future. The next time you are looking for a new program for your child to participate in remember the Central Blair Recreation and Park Commission. Mike Hofer is the director of the Central Blair Recreation and Park Commission.
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800-930-4358 www.martinwater.com FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019 • 17
FAMILY CRAFTS
ebruary, March and April can be cold and dreary, so it’s time to create something artistically colorful, useful and personalized! We will use Sharpie markers (or other permanent markers) and a spray bottle with rubbing alcohol in a technique called “Sharpie tiedye”.
F
Parental notes:
I Supervision is suggested for younger children as permanent markers are definitely permanent! I Rubbing alcohol is for adults to use Melanie and spray, or for closely supervised Ramsey use. I Always spray rubbing alcohol in a well-ventilated area, and do not store it in the spray bottle — put it back in its original container so it is not wasted through evaporation. The Science Behind the Projects: Permanent markers will not wash off with water. But, the molecules of ink they use
18 • FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019
can be re-dissolved in rubbing alcohol. The rubbing alcohol dries quickly, leaving the colorful ink molecules behind in their new locations. Learn more at www.stevespanglerscience.com (search “Sharpie Pen Color Science”.)
Sharpie (or other brand) permanent markers (get at least three different, contrasting colors for best effect) Objects made of light colored, waterpermeable material to draw on/personalize
What You Will Do:
What It Will Cost:
1. Color with permanent markers on an object made of cloth, paper or other water-permeable material. 2. Ask your adult to spray your artwork lightly but thoroughly with rubbing alcohol, and watch the colors migrate and “bloom” throughout your project! Always spray in a well-ventilated area. 3. Let your project air-dry completely over a protected surface (like old newspapers). Colors may transfer or even drip while it is still wet. 4. After your project is completely dry, you can heat set it in your clothes dryer for 15 minutes (this step is optional).
If you don’t already have some permanent markers in your house, at most craft stores you can buy markers one at a time at about $2 each, or in larger/more expensive packs, which can cost from $6-$25. We browsed the local dollar store for a selection of white fabric hats, zippered fabric bags, small stuffed animals, fabric flowers, paper bags with handles, and socks, and invited our crafting volunteers to choose their projects from that pile...there are many items that will appeal to a wide range of ages. You may already have permanent markers and light colored fabric or paper objects (clothing, bags, handkerchiefs, etc.) in your house. Most people have a clean, reusable plastic spray bottle and a bottle of rubbing alcohol in their houses somewhere, but if you don’t, they average about $2 each.
What You Will Need: A bottle of 70 percent (works fine) or 91 percent (works better) rubbing alcohol Reusable plastic spray bottle for the rubbing alcohol
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Ladies Breakfast and Bullets To Register go to www.breakfastandbullets.com or call 814-201-2959
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Project #1: Colorful Hat Violet Cruse, age 4, chose this hat, above, named it a “beach hat” and decorated it with a starfish, her name, colorful items on the crown, and lots of blue-green water on the brim. Above are pictures showing (1) the coloring process, and (2) the completed project.
Project #2: Zippered Bag Dominic Baker, age 8, created a colorful character and added a black hole and several personalized names to the front. While drawing, he brainstormed about some of the things he could store in his new bag, including art supplies!
Project #3: Flower Bouquet Abby Barger, age 14, designed the fabric bouquet (top left and top right) from plain white flowers to match her rainbow bookshelf at home, using a vertical line technique. She sprayed her own project. Melanie Ramsey is the director of Youth and Children’s Services at the Hollidaysburg Area Public Library. WWW.MIRRORMOMS.COM
FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019 • 19
By Kristy MacKaben For Mirror Moms ife is a bit hectic in the Martin family. With three kids spaced about two years apart, the Martin house is usually not quiet. The oldest, Rory, 7, and Hudson, 5, fight and wrestle quite a bit, but their mother Abby and father Derek are certain they will become great friends. The youngest, Molly, 2, seems more mature than other toddlers, because she’s grown up watching her brothers and trying to do everything they do. “I think three years apart would have been slightly less hectic when they were babies, but overall, I could not ask for anything more. They are perfect,” Abby said. Bringing home a newborn is never easy, but life is harder when there are older children waiting at home. “I found that the hardest part was giving proper attention to everyone,” said Abby. “I thought bringing home baby number one and being up all night feeding was draining, but when other children are thrown into the mix, it’s truly the most exhausted I have ever felt in my entire life. Power through it though. It is a mere speck in the grand scheme of life.”
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The perfect gap
Courtesy photo
Members of the Martin family of Roaring Spring are, seated in front from left: Rory, 7; Molly, 2; and Abby; and seated in back from left: Derek and Hudson, 5. 20 • FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019
Most parents probably already know this, but there is not a perfect spacing of ages between children. What seems ideal in one family, might not work in another. Research shows siblings who are two years apart or less experience less jealousy, said Mary O’Leary Wiley, Altoonabased, psychologist. But, older children (3 and older) may be more self-sufficient
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and not require as much attention as toddlers. “Of course there is no ideal age for spacing children because each age gap provides positives and negatives, and it depends on the circumstances of the family,” said O’Leary Wiley. A lot of factors play into whether a large or small age gap is ideal, such as support of family and friends, parents’ work situation and economic factors. Children younger than 2 tend to transition most easily to having a new sibling; however children who are three or more years apart usually experience less sibling rivalry and competition, but they play less together. “The hardest age gap depends on so many factors, including the temperament of the parent and the older child, the level of stress in the family and the amount of time that parents have to focus on building a relationship between siblings,” O’Leary Wiley said.
Involve the child in preparation There’s undoubtedly much excitement before a new baby joins the family. And there’s so many things to do — from decorating the nursery, buying new clothes and essentials, babyproofing the house and possibly having a baby shower or sprinkle. Including older children is key in
Continued on Page 22
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Continued from Page 21 making sure they become comfortable with the idea of a new addition to the family. “Include a child in some of the decisions. What kind of books should we get for the baby? Are there any books of yours that you would like to show the baby?” This can all help,” O’Leary Wiley said. “But of course making it clear that the older child is not the parent and they are not responsible for the baby’s care.”
Show and tell children what a new baby means Exposure is huge, O’Leary Wiley said. “Hanging out with babies, talking about babies, playing with babies. All will desensitize a child to the presence of a younger child and will teach them the skills for interacting with a newborn,” O’Leary Wiley said. Giving a child a baby doll or stuffed animal to care for can also be helpful, said Melody LaMarsh, registered nurse, and certified childbirth educator at Nason Hospital. Children can pretend to feed or rock the baby doll, or even change its diaper. A doll can also come in handy when the baby comes and parents need to take care of the baby’s needs.
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Visit the hospital (if possible) A hospital can be intimidating to young children, and they might be frightened to think their parents are there without them. If allowed, visit the hospital with your child, take a tour and visit the maternity ward. Some hospitals offer sibling classes which explain what the child can expect when a baby is born.
Involve children in baby’s care, but one on one time is important too. Children can feel important and special if they become a parent’s helper, said LaMarsh. “They may feel angry or sad because less attention is being paid to them, but when they are able to help they feel part of the family,” LaMarsh said. “We need to explain to them that one time you were this small and once the baby gets bigger they’ll be able to play with you. You’re still special. We still love you.” Children can bring diapers and wipes for the baby, or a pillow or bottle for feeding time. “Include them in things that involve the baby, but also do special things alone with them that are more appropriate for their age. Help to make them feel competent by encouraging them to use their own skills and develop new skills,” O’Leary Wiley said. 22 • FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019
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Sam O’Neil of Martinsburg claps along to a song with her granddaughter Amelia Russell, 10 months.
Mirror Moms photos by Gary M. Baranec
Megan Cross of Altoona gets her kids Oliver, 2, and Everett, 1, to follow a story in a children’s book being read by Tiffany Stuckey book during MOMS Club Storytime Jan. 2 at the Holidaysburg Area Public Library. 26 • FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019
Kelly Phibbs of Roaring Spring joins in a sing-along with her daugther Lucy, 7 months.
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Melanie Ramsey, director of youth and children services at the Hollidaysburg Area Public Library, jams with Harvey Russell, 2, of Martinsburg.
Harvey Russell, 2, of Martinsburg jumps in front of Tiffany Stuckey as she reads a childrens’ book.
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FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019 • 27
By Kristy MacKaben For Mirror Moms It might be chilly outside, and the grass might be covered in snow, but don’t hunker down all winter. There is still plenty of fun to find in Blair County. Check out shows, races and special events.
February “Peter and the Star Catcher” at the Mishler Theatre: Feb. 14, 15, 16 at 7:30 p.m. and Feb. 17 at 2 p.m. www.mishlertheatre.org Peter and the Starcatcher delves into secrets about Peter Pan. The show is a prequel to the orphan who became the boy who wouldn’t grow up.
March Home and Garden Show: March 1 to March 3 at Jaffa Shrine, Altoona www.blairhomeshow.com Outdoor lovers and gardeners will love this show with 130 vendors, demonstrations and crafts. Learn about landscaping, flowers, fencing, windows and everything for your home. 2nd Annual Kegs, Corks & Kilts: March 9 at the Altoona Grand Hotel Two sessions 4 to 6 p.m. and 8 to 10 p.m. Full Kilt will provide music. Tickets, including a souvenir tasting glass, are $25 are available at 28 • FEBRUARY/MARCH/APRIL 2019
CentralPATickets.com, in person at the Altoona Mirror Office and via phone, 814-9467423 Happy Birthday ASO with Love from All at the Mishler Theatre: March 16 at 7:30 p.m. www.mishlertheatre.org “Happy Birthday ASO” is a concert celebrating the Altoona Symphony Orchestra Superhero Day at the Blair County Convention Center: March 24 at 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. $5 for kids, $3 for adults Superhero Day is a day for kids and their families to get out and enjoy quality time while embracing their inner Superhero! Join us for an afternoon of fun, activities, superhero obstacle course, games, and all the selfies you desire with your favorites superheroes! There will firetrucks, and many other emergency vehicles for kids to explore! Race of Champions: March 24 at 8 a.m. at Blair Candy in Altoona www.blairregionalymca.org There are new course routes this year for the 5K run, 2 mile run and 2 mile walk. “Amber Brown is Not a Crayon”: March 26 at 7:30 p.m. at the Mishler Theatre mishlertheatre.org
Based on the children’s book written by Paula Danzinger, this production about a feisty girl whose best friend moves away, is a funny musical that teaches lessons about patience and forgiveness. The production is presented by the Blair County Arts Foundation.
April “Sphagetti”: April 9 at the Mishler Theatre Mishlertheatre.org This new musical is based on the children’s book by Maria Dismondy. Targeted to kids in preschool to 4th grade, “Sphagetti” empowers children when faced with bullying, to do the right thing. First Altoona Curve home game of the season: April 11 at 6 p.m. versus Akron www.milb.com, Root on the home team for the season opener. Bud Shuster Run for Your Life Race: April 21 at 8 a.m. at the Hollidaysburg Area YMCA www.blairregionalymca.org For the 11th year, runners will race along Route 36 in the Bud Shuster Run for Your Life Race. Participate in the 5K run, 2mile run or 2-mile walk.
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Family Resource Center at United Way of Blair County Strengthening Families • Nurturing Children • Building Communities
208 Hollidaysburg Plaza, Duncansville, PA 16635 814-317-5567 • www.unitedwayofblaircounty.org
Family Resource Center Celebrating 24 years in 2019 Week of the Young Child, April 6th at Penn State Altoona, Adler Gymnasium 11-2
TOASTY TODDLER Providing Parents as Teachers Home Visiting Program & Make Parenting A Pleasure Parenting Classes. Families In Recovery Parenting Classes.
Students Kindergarten thru 12th Grade Accepting new school supplies including backpacks. Registration: July 1 to August 2 Distribution by Appointment: August 8
FIORE START RIGHT. START HERE. 5514 6th Avenue Altoona, PA 16602
(814)946-4706
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Look for our upcoming events!
INCLUDING: " " ! " " "
IN THE BASEMENT YOU’LL FIND: " " " Member of Association of Children’s Museums and North American Reciprocal Museums.
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