Marriage
&
Bliss
1
Alana Manolal 11th August 2012 Marriage
&
Bliss
3
Bliss
Marriage &
CONTRIBUTORS Publisher
Amber Media Productions
Creative DireCtors
Kenroy Ambris Carla Mendez-Ambris
Design layout
Rajesh Sinanan
aDvertising sales
Kenroy Ambris
PhotograPhy
Kenroy Ambris
Contributing PhotograPhers
Curtis Chase Stephen Doobay Anthony Aqui Clement Williams
Contributing Writers
Carla Mendez-Ambris Rohandra John Marsha Mendez-Shorey
Marriage & bliss is published twice a year by Amber Media Productions. It is distributed free of charge to engaged couples and newlyweds. It is also available for sale at selected bookstores and other outlets. No part of this magazine may be reproduced in part or whole without consent from the publisher.
VER
E CO ON TH
Marriage & Bliss is also available online at www.ambermediatt.com/marriage-and-bliss Marriage & Bliss – The Magazine For advertising, distributing or more information on Marriage & Bliss: AMBER MEDIA PRODUCTIONS Kenroy: (868) 750-2550 or (868) 359-5448 Carla: (868) 748-0809 or (868) 359-5452 Website: www.ambermediatt.com Email: info@ambermediatt.com
4
Marriage
&
Bliss
Bride Date
Dyer : Patrice er 2012 tob : 6th Oc 11 ge
See Pa
What’s inside 08
The Significance of Marriage Vows
11
On the Cover
14
The Significance of the Sand Ceremony - A New Trend in Tying the Knot
features 06 18 30
From the Publisher The Icing on the Cake Inspiration Page
35 48 50
Wedding Vendors
23 25 28 31
Movie Review: Couples Retreat The Roles of Husband and Wife The Art of Compromise Strange Wedding Practices – Stealing your bride
34
Why ‘Ring Finger’?
40
Outdoor Wedding -
42
Wedding Planning during Pregnancy
Things you need to know
Then and Now Fun Page
Marriage
&
Bliss
5
From the Publisher A
S we here at Marriage & Bliss welcome you to another edition of your magazine for all things wedding, we wish you and your spouse a prosperous and God blessed new year, as you start another phase in the journey of life. As you have grown accustomed, page after page, story after story, photograph after photograph, we try to make your pre and post wedding as easy and stress free as possible with articles designed to fit your needs. In this edition we have tips for planning an outdoor wedding, advice on how to compromise on the wedding planning, the significance of the weddings vows that you say and an article explaining the sand ceremony. So from the team here at Marriage & Bliss we hope you have the same joy browsing the pages of the magazine as we had putting it together for you!
Kenroy & Carla
Carla Mendez-Ambris, Creative Director
Marriage
&
Bliss
7
The Significance of
Marriage Vows
By Rohandra John “…will you have this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife? To love, comfort, honour and keep her Forsaking all others, keep you only unto her, For as long as you both shall live?” E all know these words and have heard them countless times. But why do people recite wedding vows? And exactly what do they mean? Simply put marriage vows are promises couples make to each other during the wedding ceremony. However, many of us, married included, sometimes do not understand the meaning of the vows recited. Take Jervais, 43. He
8
Marriage
&
Bliss
admits not thinking much of the vows he said. In June of this year he will be married for 10 years. Matter of fact, as the priest read out the vows Jervais thought “why doesn’t he hurry up?” “I felt the vows were said as a matter of formality, that’s all. I didn’t understand its significance until long after I got settled in the marriage. Thinking back, the obligations I took on myself in those vows only hit home as the marriage relationship went on.” But as Jervais realized sometime after, vows are not just empty words recited in the name of tradition. They have much more significance and Marriage & Bliss spoke with three different religious leaders to find out the meaning of vows in their religion. Christian Vows “The words in your vows have meaning. It is not a matter of just saying words,” says Bishop Cuthbert Joseph, who has been performing Christian marriages for over a decade. “The vows
are very significant because it signals that you are entering into a covenant relationship and they must be taken seriously.” Most importantly Bishop Joseph says marriage vows are considered sacred because you make those promises standing before God. “God honours covenant relationships and see it as a binding covenant until death.” Even if you opt to have a civil marriage in the Red House, “God is always one of the main witnesses looking on” as you promise commitment and fidelity to your spouse, and he expects you to honour those vows, Bishop Joseph further acknowledges. Some Christian couples choose to recite standard vows authorized by the church; others opt to compose their own pledges. “But generally, you will find one thing that is most common in Christian marriage vows, the promise that couples make to commit themselves to each other for as long as they both shall live.” After vows are recited, the congregation is asked if there are any objections to the couple marrying. The reason? “That is really done as a matter of formality and it is also part of the tradition in Christian marriages to ask that question,” Bishop Joseph explains. “Even if someone objects at this point, the wedding will still go on. That’s because you are really suppose to voice your objections when the couple puts up their marriage banns which is publicized for at least seven days. If you don’t object during that period objections are not entertained on the wedding day. But the question is asked anyway.” Hindu Vows The dullahin (bride) and dullaha (groom) recite seven vows, during a traditional Hindu wedding ceremony. The couple recites the vows as they walk seven times around the “Holy fire” and each step represents a marital vow. This signifies the beginning of their journey together, according to one Pundit. “With the first step they make the vow to respect and honour each other; second step, is the vow to share each other’s joy and sorrow; third step, they pledge to trust and be loyal to each other; in the fourth step they vow to cultivate appreciation for knowledge, values, sacrifice and service; fifth step they reconfirm their vow of purity, love, family duties and spiritual growth; with the sixth step they pledge to follow principles of Dharma (righteousness) and the seventh step is the vow to nurture an eternal bond of friendship and love.” The Pundit adds: “We expect couples marrying under Hindu rites to honour their vows because they not only make them in front of people and the holy fire, but before the Holy angels.” Muslim Vows Muslims do not recite lengthy vows.
10
Marriage
&
Bliss
Theirs is actually a pledge of commitment before the Creator, Imam Imtiaz Ali says. “The vow is really presented in the form of a question and in the Muslim marriage it is the woman who first makes the proposal.” Imam Ali adds: “We ask the bride this basic question: ‘Do you daughter of so and so, propose marriage to this young man, son of so and so, in the presence of Almighty God and have you agreed to accept the Mahr (dowry)’.” The Mahr Imam Ali explains is “a financial gift, or a promise to give a financial gift” from the groom to the bride in accordance with Islamic Law. “We then ask the groom the same question. Traditionally we ask this question three times, but it is only compulsory to ask the question once.” Once the couple answers in the affirmative it means they are two consulting adults pledging to “enter into a union together and this is a form of contract.” They then proceed to sign their marriage certificate which in essence reinforces their commitment on pen and paper, Ali pointed out. Legal Significance Vows also have legal significance as it is a verbalized agreement and therefore a form of contract that is legally binding, Attorneyat-law Hyacinth Griffith says. “In saying your vows you are basically making a promise to commit yourself to your partner for life. From a legal position this is a contractual relationship and the contract is recognized by the State. You take on certain responsibilities when you take on this contract that will impact on all areas of your life, financially and otherwise,” Griffith says. So now that you know the significance of the vows if you are not prepared to live up to your promises think twice before saying “I do”.
On the Cover
Patrice & Anslem October 6th 2012
11
12
13
THE SIGNIFICANCE OF the Sand Ceremony A new trend in tying the knot By Marsha Mendez-Shorey HE history of the sand ceremony is largely attributed to the Hawaiians who have integrated the practice into their marriage ceremonies for years. Sand is often used to represent the passing of time and the journey of life and therefore it was thought fitting to use sand to symbolize the joining of two lives together. So what is a Sand Ceremony anyway? The Sand Ceremony also known as The Unity Sand Ceremony represents the blending of the individual lives of the bride and groom into one. It is similar to the Unity Candle Ceremony which is traditional in many weddings. The Unity Candle is one in which the flame of two candles are used to light one main candle. With the sand ceremony, two, or more, separate containers of differently coloured sand are poured into one main container. The beauty of the sand ceremony is the elegant symbolism that is immediately identifiable - the different sand colours, of course, represent the individual lives of the bride and groom. The layers of colour show that both
14
Marriage
&
Bliss
bride and groom have retained their unique identities and personalities. Yet, looking closer, it is virtually impossible to identify the exact point where one layer ends and the other begins. The grains of sand can never be separated! This is a strong and beautiful representation of the “two becoming one� concept. Some couples also choose to leave a bit of sand in their individual pouring containers to verify that although they are becoming one as a couple, they are still individuals with independent thought. Some brides and grooms prefer the sand ceremony to the unity candle ceremony, since sand is everlasting as opposed to candles, which melts away after time, others for the mere fact that your unity
container can be kept and displayed as a wonderful wedding keepsake long after the ceremony is over. There are several variations of the Sand Ceremony. Here are three examples: The central vase is one-third filled with white sand before the ceremony. This represents God as the foundation for a happy marriage. Each sets of parents has a vase with different coloured sand. The parents take turns in pouring their sand into the central vase before the couple, creating a layered effect. This symbolizes their support for the couple in marriage.
This is perfect if the couple have children together already, or have children from a previous relationship. Each child has a small vase with coloured or white sand, and they pour this into the central vase just before the couple finishes pouring in their sand. This provides a layer where the couple and children’s sands are mixed. The children can then pour the rest of their sand on top of the couple’s sand. This symbolises that each participant is committed to functioning as a single family unit. Children especially love the interactive nature and symbolism of this variation of the ceremony. There is no hard-and-fast rule when choosing what you want for your sand ceremony. You can choose one or a combination of ceremonies to fit your taste. Remember, this is your wedding; it can be as unique, contemporary or traditional, as you want it to be.
17
Tessa & Michael
The iCing on theCake More wedding cake photos are available on our Facebook page.
Carlene & Jeffrey
Richard & Kendra
Kevin & Alana
Tessa & Michael
Coleen & Daniel
Tamica & Rafael
20
?????????????? ??nd ????? 20??
Sati & Vinod 22nd July 2012
Rhonda & Kurtnell 22nd September 2012
21
22
Marriage
&
Bliss
By Carla Mendez-Ambris n this comedy, Jason & Cynthia (Jason Bateman & Kristen Bell) is a super-organized married couple that has been trying to conceive for some time. They think that their failure is a sign that they should consider a divorce. As a last resort, they agreed to try a couple’s retreat to see if their marriage can be saved. They decide to convince their friends; Dave & Ronnie (Vince Vaughn & Malin Akerman) who are married with two young kids; married high school sweethearts Joey & Lucy (Jon Favreau & Kristin Davis) who have lost their love for each other and recently divorced; Shane (Faizon Love) and his new 20 year old girlfriend, Trudy (Kali Hawk); to join them on this venture on a beautiful tropical island so that they can take advantage of the discounted group rate. After being enticed by a very appealing power-point presentation, prepared by Jason & Cynthia, of the tropical island resort showing all its great amenities such as jet skiing, the three other couples decide to join them, being told that the couples’ counseling was optional.
Throughout the sessions, each couple discovers and explores issues in their own relationships. Can they each resolve their marital problems? Will Jason & Cynthia still decide to call it quits? Can your marriage benefit from watching this movie?
Upon arriving at the island of Eden, they realize that they are all booked at Eden West the couples’ skill-building retreat and not the more appealing Eden East, the singles resort on the other side of the island, where all the festivities are. At Eden West, the therapy sessions are mandatory, and all four couples must participate. For the sake of Jason & Cythia, the others decide to stay and participate in the sessions.
Genre: Comedy Release Date: 9 October 2009 (USA) Directed By: Peter Billingsley Written By: Jon Favreau, Vince Vaughn, Dana Fox
Marriage
&
Bliss
23
Tessa & Michael 1st September 2012
The Roles of Husband & Wife By Rohandra John HE ROLE of husband and wife in the marital voyage from love to happiness is definitely changing. And if you think “changing” is too strong a word, then you will agree it is at least evolving to suit the needs of the time we live in. Picture this not too unfamiliar scenario. Wife goes to work, comes home after a long day and meets the kitchen the same way she left it. Husband who has his day off is home all day and the only thing he does in the kitchen is to dirty more wares. But he does clean around the house which had needed more than a touching up. Of course wife is upset and gives the husband the silent treatment and he thinks she is being unreasonable. After all it’s a man’s job to take care of the yard and house and a woman’s job to take care of the kitchen and the family.
Marriage & Bliss spoke with three religious leaders to find out what they had to say about the changing roles of husband and wife over the years. Nowadays any husband, who is only prepared to do “outside duties” while his wife is expected to wash, cook and clean, is setting the stage for disaster Pundit Ishwar Madho Maharaj points out. “From the perspective of Hinduism where marriages are concerned, traditionally the women were socialized to do all the household duties. They were to be the homemakers, the nurturers and were off course expected to serve their husbands. The wife and mother is also seen as the first Guru in that her role is to pass on spiritual teachings to the children and to also spend quality
time with them,” Maharaj noted. But unlike before more and more Hindu women are pursuing education and careers and are working just as hard as their husband and spend just as much time in the workplace. As a result women no longer expect to singlehandedly care for the children and upkeep the house while their husbands look on Maharaj says. “The marital relationship runs much more smoothly when the husband lends a hand to his wife in every area of maintaining the home. I do that. My wife works. She is also pursuing tertiary education and I assist with taking care of the home and help out with the children.” Pastor
Robin
Rambally
Marriage
&
Bliss
echoes
25
similar sentiments. “Based on the Bible, the woman’s role is that of being the help-mate and the nurturer in the home, while the man’s role has been to cultivate and provide,” Rambally who is also a marriage counselor, says. Increasingly though, the Pastor points out many women are taking on the role of breadwinner, and in some homes, it is the man doing the washing, cooking, cleaning and taking care of babysitting duties, while his spouse is at work. “I want to say though that roles and positions should not be confused. Your role describes those functions that you carry out, like cleaning, washing and so on. Those roles may change with time. But your position, which is that of being the wife or husband, cannot change. Even if the wife goes out there and makes more money than the man, he remains the husband and head of the home. His position does not change.” He is not against the idea of husband and wife working. After all there is the advantage of earning two salaries to meet the family’s needs. “But as with everything else there are the disadvantages. Mommy and daddy are spending most of their time in the workplace and by the time they get home they are tired. So they may not get to spend that quality time with the children.” And it seems to be the same within Muslim homes too. “Today more Muslim women are advancing their education and going after careers. Ideally the woman is the homemaker and nurturer. But today we have working mothers and at-home fathers, that is becoming the norm,” Imam Imtiaz Ali said.
26
Marriage
&
Bliss
As a young boy growing up he admits that his mother did not allow him to do any household chores, leaving it all up to the girls. “But when I got married, my wife and I were both working and I had to help out. I couldn’t cook but I would cut up the garlic, help season the meat and so on. Even up to now, after 34 years of marriage, we do chores together,” Ali said. All three of the religious leaders are advocating that young couples, either married or about to make that step, view and treat their marriage as a partnership. “If you don’t help each other out you are on the road to failure,” Imam Ali says. We caught with two married couples, one who married 38 years ago and the other earlier this year to get their views on the roles of husband and wife. Nazir and Rosalind Hosein: They were married on 12 October, 1974. He was 25 and she was 17.
Rosalind did not object when her husband told her he did not want her to work and she settled into her role as a housewife. She was 18 years-old when she had their first son. Four other sons followed and her family became her world. Rosalind washed, cooked and clean. Husband and children returned home each day to a hot meal and a loving mother who spent quality time with them. If she could turn back the hands of time Rosalind, now 54, says she will have it no other way. “I am just happy that I have always been there for my husband and children and they always let me know how much they appreciate that. It was a joy just caring for my family.” Rosalind says she is delighted to see more young women grasping educational opportunities and pursuing careers. But she also wishes for a return to the “old days” when family life was given preeminence over the mighty dollar.
Nazir now 63, says that he always preferred to have a wife who would stay home with the children. Twenty 30 years ago he says this was the norm. His mother was also a homemaker. He had 11 siblings and it was his father who went out to work to provide for the family. “Now that husbands and wives are working they are hardly having time to spend with each other and they are also not spending that quality time with the children, so many of them are going astray; we are reaping the consequences of that in our society today. We want family life to be restored,” Nazir says. Jason and Isha They were married on 21 March 2012. He was 25 and she was 24. In contrast to Rosalind, Isha balks at the idea of just being a housewife. She let her husband know from the get go that she was quite independent and had no plans of “keeping house” once they tied the knot.
Isha grew up in a home where her mother was a housewife and her stepfather the breadwinner. Her mother did all the household chores. Isha says she always thought this was unfair. She decided she would have a different life. “I always told myself that once I got married I am going to work and remain independent. I just think that being a housewife is too demanding and it’s also boring. I also believe in sharing the duties in the home. I don’t think the woman should do everything. Right now my husband and I share up the chores; if I can’t cook he does it.” Jason, 25, does not mind his wife working. “In these times, it is hard to make it on one salary; the needs of the family are better met with two salaries, so it helps when both parties work.” He also shares the view that husbands should assist with household chores and he practices what he preaches. “I help out in whatever way I can. I cook sometimes. My wife doesn’t like to iron so I do it and we have an understanding.”
The Art of
Compromise By Carla Mendez-Ambris
road. Hope these helpful hints below work for you.
OU want the big wedding, the splendiferous colour scheme, an almost unlimited budget! The whole nine yards really. Him! Hmmm. He wants to settle for may be one-and-a-half yards! A small intimate affair, no special colours, less money on the wedding more on the honeymoon.
Make a List Make a list and discuss exactly what you both want for and in your wedding. Cover all bases – the budget, guest list, type of entertainment, alcoholic or nonalcoholic bar, venue, colour scheme... just to name a few.
Question is, where do you go from here? Compromising for your wedding planning is great practice, as marriage itself is about communication and compromise. If you can learn to give and take at this point, it augers well for sacrifices down the
28
Marriage
&
Bliss
The Budget This is the first thing you need to decide on. And just keep in mind that you do not want to start off your marriage in debt. Many couples take out loans to pay for their wedding and spend years to repay it; others empty their bank accounts. Remember, in
the first few years of marriage you may have lots of other expenses - perhaps a mortgage, new furniture, kids‌ Start off with a realistic budget. Make a list of all the wedding elements and start contacting vendors to get an idea of how much each item costs, if you do not already know. That does not mean just taking the cheapest vendors you can find, but finding the ones that give you what you want at the most reasonable prices. Not everything has to be a give and take though. In some cases, you can both get what you want. Depending on your budget you may be able to include what you both want in the wedding.
He wants a live singer to dedicate a special song for you; you want a tassa group to entertain guests all night long. Then why not have both, once your budget permits. Cannot settle on the best engagement photo? Well use one for the Wedding Guests Signature Frame, and use the other in your programme or on the table as a part of your centrepiece or table numbers. Alternatively, you may ask the photographer to choose. He is the professional after all! The Colour Scheme Why not use both your favourite colours and pair them together. Colour schemes have evolved so much over the years; many non-traditional colours are becoming more and more popular. Perhaps the decorator can add an accent colour to coordinate them a little better. Control or Best Interest? You think he is groomzilla huh?
Take advantage of this and split the wedding planning; let him handle some of the elements while you handle the others. If he is more passionate about the type of entertainment he wants, let him deal with that aspect. If the décor is more important to you, you can handle it. (See our list of Who Pays for What, a traditional list of items that the bride and groom usually handle). Sometimes the grooms are the ones in charge, keeping track of all details, colour swatches and handling every aspect of the wedding planning, except perhaps the bride’s wedding dress. In that case, consider it a blessing, as some brides have the hassle of doing all the work alone, the groom just showing up on the morning of the wedding! Your partner is simply showing an interest and is just as excited as you are about the big day.
Whatever is decided upon, make doubly sure that conflicts are resolved amicably. Brides, while you can stand your ground, do not order around your future groom or make him feel his opinion is not valuable. Respect his wishes and do not make him feel as though he must give in to everything you say. And grooms remember that this day is one which your bride may have fantasized about all her life, so try to give in to some of her requests, after all, the bride is always the main focus at the wedding.
WHO pays for what?
Traditional Expenses of the Bride and Her Family
Traditional Expenses of the Groom and His Family
Professional wedding consultant/planner/coordinator Invitations and announcements
Bride’s wedding gown and accessories
Floral decorations for ceremony and reception, bridesmaids’ flowers, bride’s bouquet
Bride’s engagement and wedding rings Groom’s gift to bride
Gifts for groom’s attendants
Boutonnieres for groom’s attendants (unless the bride has included them in her florist’s order) The officiant’s fee or donation
Professional photography and video production Music for church and reception Transportation of bridal party to and from ceremony All reception expenses
The marriage license Transportation for the groom and best man to the ceremony Honeymoon expenses All costs of the rehearsal dinner
Bride’s gifts to her attendants
Transportation and lodging expenses for the groom’s family
Bride’s gift to groom Groom’s wedding ring Décor for reception Transportation of bridal party to the reception
Marriage
&
Bliss
29
Bliss
Marriage &
e g a P n o Inspirati Couple: Rhonda & Kurtnell Wedding Date: 22nd September 2012
30
Strange Wedding Practices Stealing Your Bride kidnapping is practiced in different parts of
was sometimes a groom’s answer to avoid
the world
paying the bride price. In other cases, it was a collusive act between the bride’s parents and the groom to circumvent the bride’s consent.
N some cultures they take stealing your bride a little too literally! Quite literally actually. Bride kidnapping or marriage by abduction has been practiced throughout history and around the world. And it is what it actually says it is, a man kidnapping the woman he wishes to marry. Bride kidnapping not only includes abductions, but also where a couple runs away together and seeks the consent of their parents later. Some modern cultures maintain a symbolic kidnapping of the bride as part of the marriage ritual. And interestingly some say the honeymoon is a relic of marriage by capture; where the husband goes into hiding with his wife to avoid reprisals from her relatives, with the intention that the woman would be pregnant by the end of the month.
Ethiopia A man working in co-ordination with his friends may kidnap a girl or woman, sometimes using a horse to ease the escape. The abductor will then hide his intended bride until she becomes pregnant. As the father of the woman’s child, the man can claim her as his wife. Subsequently, the kidnapper may try to negotiate with the village elders to legitimise the marriage.
Bride kidnapping is still practiced in mostly agricultural and patriarchal societies. According to tradition the woman leaves her birth family, geographically and economically, when she marries, becoming a member of the groom’s family. In turn for marriage the girl’s family demands economic compensation, the bride price. Sometimes men turn to kidnapping to avoid the bride price.
Kazakhstan Though some kidnappers are motivated by the wish to avoid a bride price or the expense of hosting wedding celebrations or a feast to celebrate the girl leaving home, other would-be husbands fear the woman’s refusal, or that the woman will be kidnapped by another suitor first.
In other cases the girl’s family might not approve of the marriage as the man is of a lower social standing and the couple might elope under the guise of a kidnapping with the bride price to be negotiated after the fact. Here are some of the ways bride
India Usually, the groom carries away the bride and the villagers chase them. If they are not found after a few hours, they are considered to be married. There are however, different rules for different tribes.
The Hmong (The Hmong is an Asian ethnic group from the mountainous regions of China, Vietnam, Laos, and Thailand) The kidnapping is generally a joint effort between the would-be groom and his friends and family. After taking the woman the abductor sends a message to the kidnap victim’s family, informing them of the abduction his intent to marry. If the victim’s family manages to find the woman and insist on her return, they might be able to free her from the obligation to marry the man. However, if they fail to find the woman, the kidnap victim is forced to marry the man. The abductor still has to pay a bride price for the woman, generally an increased amount because of the kidnapping. Editor’s Note: Non consensual bride kidnapping is considered a crime in Trinidad and Tobago and many other countries.
China Traditionally marriage by abduction Marriage
&
Bliss
31
Natasha
It is not uncommon to see couples of different religious backgrounds tie the knot at two separate ceremonies on different days in each other’s place of
32
& Avin
worship. Avin & Natasha, chose to have a Hindu ceremony on 12th August 2012 and a Christian Ceremony the following week on 18th August 2012.
Marriage
&
Bliss
3333
VER wonder why the wedding or engagement ring must be put on the ring finger of the left hand and not any other finger? Why call the fourth finger the ring finger anyway? Well in Roman culture they believed there is a very sensitive vein of blood, called the vena amoris, which connects the ring finger to the heart - the symbol of love - and hence the name “ring finger�. In other cultures the ring finger is believed to be very auspicious and pure because it is located in the middle of little finger and the middle finger. Roman writer and philosopher, Macrobius said the thumb is part of the palm which always remains apart from other fingers while the forefinger (index finger) and little finger are not fully protected. He said the middle finger is too disgracing to be given such an honour; therefore the only finger left is the wedding finger. Some believe wearing a ring on the ring finger signifies pure matrimonial intentions. According to this belief wearing a wedding ring or engagement ring on the ring finger symbolises unconditional and unbreakable love, affection and attachment between two souls or hearts. Different countries have different
Europe In some European countries the ring is worn on the ring finger of the left hand before marriage and is transferred to the ring finger of the right hand during the wedding. While in Russia, Denmark and Austria the wedding ring is worn on the ring finger of the right hand. Jewish Weddings In Jewish weddings, the ring is worn on the bride’s index finger and is transferred to the ring finger after the ceremony. India In India the right hand is considered very auspicious. So the wedding ring is worn on the ring finger of the right hand.
34
Marriage
&
Bliss
Greece The wedding ring is worn on the left hand when the ring is slipped on and then moved to the right hand.
China But the Chinese seems to have the most romantic of reasons for the ring finger. Their tradition goes like this. The thumb represents your parents. The index finger represents your siblings. The middle finger represents yourself. The ring finger represents your life partner. The little finger represents your children. Hold your hands together. Join your middle fingers back-to-back at the middle knuckles, and the remaining fingers tipto-tip. Now try to separate your thumbs. They will separate because your parents are not destined to live with you forever. Rejoin your thumbs and separate your index fingers. They will separate because your siblings will have their own families and lead their own lives. Rejoin your index fingers and separate your little fingers. They will separate because your children will grow up, get married, and settle down. Rejoin your little fingers and try to separate your ring finger. They will NOT be able to separate because your life partner is meant to be with you throughout your entire life, through thick and thin!
Bliss
Marriage &
VENUE
GIFT REGISTRY
DECOR
TOBAGO ACCOMMODATION
WEDDING ACCESSORIES
PHOTOGRAPHY/ VIDEO
ADVERTISE HERE
AMBER MEDIA PRODUCTIONS If you want your photos to appear in this magazine then you need to call us to photograph your wedding. We provide photography and video services for weddings, commercial and corporate events. Call Kenroy (868) 750-2550, 359-5448, 223-8498. Website: www.ambermediatt.com Email: kenroy.ambris@gmail.com
Marriage
&
Bliss
3737
Brides
38
Grooms
39
N outdoor wedding is always a picturesque option. However, there are many choices to consider when going this route. First, what size tent do you need? Tents come in different sizes and one of the first things you will need to determine is how many and what size tents you need to accommodate your guests. The Tent Seating Chart on the other page, can give you a better idea. When considering spatial requirements, always allow for enough square footage per guest. Below is the industry average for the amount of square footage needed per person.
40
Marriage
&
Bliss
EVENT SEATING INFORMATION Cocktail Parties (stand up) Dinner, using 8’ banquet table Dinner, using 5’ round table Cathedral Seating Dance Area
5 - 6 sq. ft. / person 8 sq. ft. / person 10 sq. ft. / person 6 sq. ft. / person 2 sq. ft. / attendee or 5 sq. ft. / dancer
Aside from main traffic aisles, allow 5 feet between tables for chair and service space where seating is back to back. Other things to consider when having an outdoor wedding include: Rain Contingency – This is the most important thing. In the case of rain, do you have a contingency plan? First, order sidewalls when ordering your tents as a backup plan in case it gets Tent Size
20’ Wide
30’ Wide
windy. Also have an indoor area as a Plan B that can be used in case of inclement weather. Lighting – speak with your photographer and/or videographer to confirm whether they have additional lighting facilities. You should still have beautiful pictures despite being outdoors. Sound System – be sure to do a site visit with your DJ so that he can walk with adequate equipment and wiring to provide a full sound system.
W
x
L
Square Footage
Stand-Up Cocktail
Buffet Dinner
Sit Down Dinner
Cathedral Seating
20 20 20 20 20 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30 30
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
20 30 40 50 60 30 40 45 50 60 75 90 105 120
400 600 800 1,000 1,200 900 1,200 1,350 1,500 1,800 2,250 2,700 3,150 3,600
67 100 133 167 200 150 200 225 250 300 375 450 525 600
50 75 100 125 150 113 150 169 188 225 291 338 394 450
40 60 80 100 120 90 120 135 150 180 225 270 315 306
67 100 133 167 200 150 200 225 250 300 375 450 525 600 Sources: www.ottent.com www.a-bpartyrental.com
Marriage
&
Bliss
41
Wedding Planning during Pregnancy Question: “I’m engaged to be married and just found out I’m expecting! What should I know about planning a wedding during pregnancy?”
OW! You have lots to celebrate! Either of those life events is huge on its own, so navigating both at the same time can be tricky. Doable? Definitely doable, especially with some smart prep work. Before you walk adorably waddle down the aisle, consider these tips on planning and hosting a wedding during pregnancy: Time it right If possible, try to get hitched in your second trimester so by then your morning sickness should be gone by then or at least eased up enough so you can face the buffet without barfing. Plus, if you get married mid-pregnancy rather than at the end, you will feel more like a bride than a balloon. One more timing tip; pregnancy fatigue hits you hardest at night, shoot for a daytime event.
42
Marriage
&
Bliss
Dress the part Even if you are not showing when you hit the bridal shop, let the consultant know how far along you will be when you tie the knot. She will advise you on which size will be best for your belly-to-be. And do not let that large number bug you. Wedding dresses tend to run a couple sizes bigger than regular clothing, and it is easier to take in a too-big gown than let out a too-small one. Plus those extra inches are going toward building a beautiful baby. While you can wear almost any style you want, baby bumps look especially elegant in an empire-waist silhouette, which is
snug at the bustline and roomier in the belly. No matter which design you prefer for your wedding during pregnancy, you will be more comfortable in loose, light fabrics, such as chiffon and crepe. Stiff or heavy materials like satin, taffeta, and tulle can up your odds of overheating.
carb snack, like cheese on whole-grain crackers, so you will have the energy for that first dance as a married lady — and the many to follow. Speaking of energy, take a load off every once in a while during the party — your guests will understand if you and your belly need a break between dances.
As far as shoes go, you may need to pump up your pump size to a half- or even a full-size bigger than your prepregnancy kicks, since pregnancy can make your feet and ankles swell. Consider skipping the high heels altogether expectant moms aren’t known for perfect balance - or at least keeping a pair of ballet flats or sandals handy as a backup. Luckily, there are lots of down-to-earth and not at all dowdy options out there.
Here is to a wonderful wedding — and a healthy baby to boot! Source: www.whattoexpect.com/pregnancy
Maximize that glow Raging hormones can wreak some serious havoc on your complexion during pregnancy, but a skilled makeup artist should be able to handle whatever is going on. So if a pro is within your budget, consider that money well spent. And while you might not be able to get a Brazilian blow-out since that and other chemical based treatments are off-limits right now, chances are you will be sporting some extra-lush locks under that veil. Stress less From choosing the right caterer to picking the most fabulous flowers to perfecting your seating chart, wedding planning can be pretty nerve-racking. But pregnancy and stress is not a great combo, so consider toning down the party to something you can handle more easily. Or hire a wedding planner or ask a willing friend or that fabulous fiancé of yours to take on some of the tougher tasks. And, to keep your cool when planning a wedding during pregnancy, make this your mantra should people push your anxiety buttons: “For my baby’s health and my own, I need to stop discussing this right now.” Who could argue with that? Also, while pregnant brides are not that unusual anymore, some people on your guest list may be vociferously offended that you are expecting before the wedding. All you can do is tell them, “I’m thrilled to become a wife and mother. I hope you can share that excitement with me.” It might sting a bit if they cannot, but it will truly be their loss to miss out on your big day. Celebrate smartly Skip the champagne, but keep your water glass full since staying hydrated is important for you and your baby. Another reason you will want a light, loose wedding dress: You will need to pee more than the average bride, and going to the bathroom in a ball gown is tough even without a baby bump. No matter how busy you get greeting guests, do not forget to eat. Enlighten your caterer about what you can and cannot eat. Even if you are queasy, be sure to eat a protein-and-complex
Marriage
&
Bliss
43
Kendra & riChard 30th June 2012
dexter & berLOnne 29th JuLy 2012
44 44
Marriage
Sherwin & JamiLia 1St JuLy 2012
KOfi & rayia 24th June 2012
marSha & CurtiS 13th OCtOber 2012
&
Bliss
Lyndian & ShurLand 18th auguSt 2012
tamiCa & raphaeL 26th auguSt 2012
Kevin & aLana 12th auguSt 2012
teSSa & miChaeL 1St September 2012
CarLene & Jeffery 8th September452012
Marriage
&
Bliss
Bridal parties Marriage
&
Bliss
47
Know any couples celebrating over 40 years of wedded bliss? Call us at 750-2550 to have their wedding photo featured right here in as an inspiration to other couples.
57
years
Lawrence and Barbara De Freitas, 17th December 1955
50
years
Darius and Carmelita Bhola, 30th June 1962
The photos in this magazine are testimony of some of the fun we usually have at weddings with our brides and grooms. If you want to capture these fun moments at your wedding and be featured in our magazine call Kenroy to photograph and/or videotape your wedding. 750-2550 or 359 5448. Kenroy.ambris@gmail.com
Marriage
&
Bliss
49
Wedding Traditions
SUDOKU
1. Hey, brides, tuck a sugar cube into your
glove — according to Greek culture, the sugar will sweeten your union.
2. In English tradition, Wednesday is
considered the “best day” to marry, although Monday is for wealth and Tuesday is for health.
3. The groom carries the bride across the threshold to bravely protect her from evil spirits lurking below.
4. Saturday is the unluckiest wedding day,
according to English folklore. Funny — it’s the most popular day of the week to marry!
5. The tradition of wearing a white wedding
dress was claimed to have started back in the 1840’s by Queen Victoria. Before then, brides simply wore their best dress except in Japan where white was the colour of choice long before.
6. Most expensive wedding ever? The
marriage of Sheik Rashid Bin Saeed Al Maktoum’s son to Princess Salama in Dubai in May 1981. The price tag? $44 million.
7. In Denmark, brides and grooms
traditionally cross-dressed to confuse evil spirits.
8. Wedding bells are an important symbol of
a wedding. Traditionally, it was believed that demons were scared off by loud sounds, so following a wedding ceremony, anything that could make noise was used to create a diversion.
Each row, column and group of squares enclosed by the bold lines (also called a box), must contain numbers 1-9 and letters A, B, C, D, E and F only once.
DOUBLE PUZZLE RIRMEGAA WOSV RETTAER DNSA COEENRYM NUYTI DCELNA DIKGAPPINN TEH REIBD TODROOU WIDGEND MICSOROEMP
9. The tradition of a wedding cake comes from ancient Rome, where revelers broke a loaf of bread over a bride’s head for fertility’s sake. 10.
50
Rain on your wedding day is actually considered good luck, according to Hindu tradition.
Marriage
&
Bliss
NRGI GIFNER PENTANRG NIBREENDWAR DUBGET
INSTRUCTIONS: Unscramble each of the clue words. Each clue word is from an article which appears in this Issue of Marriage & Bliss. Copy the letters in the numbered cells to other cells with the same number.
INSTRUCTIONS: Unscramble each of the clue words. Each clue word is from an article which appears in this Issue of Marriage & Bliss. Copy the letters in the numbered cells to other cells with the same number.