Editor ’s Message Welcome to World Cup Fever!
Don’t forget to mention the Voice when you use any of the companies in this Magazine
Ok, so we know that not everyone is a football fan but we felt that we couldn’t ignore it and throughout the mag this month we have got a bit of something for everyone whether you love, loathe or are indifferent to the beautiful game!! So we hope you enjoy this month and all our new additions including ’a dad and his lad’ who will be telling us about sports each month but as always, if you have any feedback, you are more than welcome to contact any of us, we would love to hear from you. On the feedback note, we do apologise if Gary’s Grumble was a bit close to the bone last month but anyone who knows him is aware that he loves nothing more than to push the boundaries and seeing as we are a free country, it would be wrong of me to try and gag him...as long as he stays on the right side of legislation that is!!! I do however, appreciate that the swearing was an omission on my part and cannot apologise enough for that. On a happy note, I realised last month that I hadn’t announced the winner of the Body & Sole Competition from April...which was Alison Warmglow. Hope you enjoy the Diamond Dermabrasion Alison, we are all very jealous! The wonderful Smith Craven Accountants have sponsored our Jerry Green Dog Rescue feature this month but it is still available for sponsorship from next month. So if you would like to support a fantastic cause and give yourself a warm fuzzy glow that you have helped a dog or dogs who deserve a forever home, just give us a call. Finally, come on England ;-) See you next month,
Emily x
Emily Carla Janine To advertise contact Emily on: 01773 604178 07891 639638 info@voicemagazines.co.uk Or Carla on: 07896 294512 Carla@voicemagazines.co.uk Or Janine on: 07976 182589 Janine@voicemagazines.co.uk Upcoming Submission Deadline for Advertisers and Contributors July Edition - 13th June
Printed by Newman Thomson and distributed to 5,000 homes in Broadmeadows, South Normanton, Blackwell, & Newton. Disclaimer: No responsibility is accepted by Amber Valley Voice for claims, errors or omissions made in advertisements appearing in this issue. All advertisers are accepted in good faith and we are not responsible for views expressed by contributor or other sources. Reproduction of the contents of this magazine is not permitted without the prior consent of the publisher.
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01773 512209 07902 272541
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Things To Do Alfreton & District Heritage Trust - A talk by Ray Sunderland. A talk with a difference in this significant anniversary year takes place on Tues 10th June, 7.30pm in Alfreton's Firs House, entitled “World War 1 and
Thankful Villages–No Wonder They Were Thankful!” You are invited by Alfreton & District Heritage Trust to come along and find out why – admission is free .
Don’t Miss the South Normanton Gala - 5th July 2014
Parade starts approx 11am from the Hub, South Normanton. FREE admission to the Postmill Centre Field. Attractions to include: Funfair, climbing wall, classic cars & more. For more info contact John on susc212@aol.com. Sponsored by Heatguard & South Normanton Parish Council.
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Green Gables Events Car Boots @ Green Gables 15th & 29th June - car boots set up from 8am. Cost is £6 for booters and 50p to browse. Food & Drinks available, Toilet facilities Summer Fayre @ Green Gables An event with something for everyone on 27th July, 10 -4. All enquiries to Julie Watlow on 07738 033056
Things To Do Alfreton & District Ramblers Club
made welcome. For more info call Terry on 07891 517057 We walk on alternate Sundays or Dave 07543 100655. and meet in the car park near Upcoming walks: Alfreton Library at 9:30am. 8th June – Calver, 7m Bring a drink and packed 22nd June - Ford Ridgeway, 8m lunch. Suitable footwear and Evening Walks - 7pm meet clothing required. New faces Tues 17th June - Crich, 3m
Independent Living services in your Event (with Futures community. See page 9 Homescape) - 3rd July for more information. 10am -2pm Showcasing some of the housing & support
Alfreton Park Community Special School Events
Car Boots 1st June & 6th July - 8am until 12pm. Cost is ÂŁ5 per boot & 20p to browse. Call Margaret on 07518 025622 or Toyah on 01773 832019 to book.
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Rewires CCTV Intruder Alarms Extra Sockets Extra Lighting We also provide:
Part P registered Landlord Reports
Electric Safety Certificates
Contact Julian T: 01773 776717 M: 07813 850355 E: info@xtreme-electrical.co.uk Derbyshire Police Update - New priorities set There have been a few changes to the officers on the South Normanton and Pinxton Safer Neighbourhood Policing Team. We say a fond farewell to PC Pete Wilbourne, who has moved onto pastures new, and welcome PCSO Chris Hart from the Alfreton Town team. PCSO Hart joins PCSO Marion Jeffery and the team continues to work in partnership with other agencies to reduce crime, anti-social behaviour and resolve any community concerns or issues. Following a walkabout and community meeting in the area, alongside Police and Crime Commissioner Alan Charles and other partnership Pictured: PCSO Chris Hart agencies, the team has set some new priorities to target. and PCSO Marion Jeffery They are:
Speeding vehicles throughout the South Normanton and Pinxton area.
Nuisance and off road motorbikes on
public footpaths in the Fordbridge Lane and Sporton Lane South Normanton.
These will be discussed, along with any new concerns, at their next meeting with residents and partnership agencies which is expected to be in September. As soon as the date is announced it will appear on the Derbyshire police website: www.derbyshire.police.uk. If you have any concerns or want to raise any issues about crime, safety or anti-social behaviour in your neighbourhood, then you can always contact the team by calling 101, or by emailing alfreton.neighbourhoods@derbyshire.pnn.police.uk. You can also follow our team on Twitter: @SNormPinxtonSNT.
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WORLD CUP 2014
Each month we will have our local dad and his lad guiding us through the world of sports. They ‘kick-off’ the first instalment with the World Cup!!
Here we go again. The greatest tournament on earth kicks off on Thursday 12th June in Sao Paulo, Brazil. Will there be another name of the trophy, or will it be one of the elite 8 previous winners?
The Main Runners:
5x winners Brazil go into the tournament as favourites with the bookies at 3/1, boasting talent such as Neymar and Hulk, but will the pressure of expectation be too much? Over the last 8 tournaments only France, in 1998, have been victorious on home soil.
Expect their rich pool of midfield players to shine in Brazil. It’s now 28 years since Argentina reached a final, but with the likes of Messi and Aguero in the camp, they will feel confident of some success in their rival’s back yard. Expect them to push for the last 8 at least. France are in a similar position to England, in that expectations in their country are low. Maybe the lack of expectation could see them play with freedom and surprise folk? As always with France individual talent is prevalent.
Spain, at 5/1, are the reigning World & European The Underdogs: Champions. Since 2012 they have improved their Ivory Coast, at 150/1, have not disgraced weaponry, adding a more physical aspect to their themselves at the last 2 World Cups and the game to add to their much hyped passing game. group draw was favourable to them. Belgium are a much fancied outfit and with Ghana, at 250/1, qualified from the group stage players such as Kompany and Hazard it’s not in 2006 & 2010. During the latter, surely ‘The hard to see why. Personally, I think their lack of a Black Stars’ would have been in the Semi-Finals world class striker (sorry Everton fans) will be had it not been for Suarez’ handball to prevent a their downfall. Expect progression through their goal deep into extra time. group though, as it‘s not brimming with top class So…... sides. Looking at the groups, we could all pick our top 2 from each group, but this doesn’t always work out. After winning the 1998 and 2002 respectively, both France and Italy failed to qualify from their groups in the next World Cups, with France famously not scoring a single goal! Twice winners Uruguay won the last tournament Incredible for a team with the talent at their held in Brazil, in 1950. Uruguay beat the hosts disposal at that time. watched by a massive 175,000 people in the History points in the way of a non-European team stadium. triumphing. No-one from our continent has ever Holland do not have world-class defenders, won the famous trophy on South American soil. although a attacking prowess to envy with Hall of Fame (Winners) Robben and van Persie. Always a threat. England surely have to get off to a good start against Italy. A defeat when facing a talented Uruguay featuring Mr Suarez in the second game would make it very tough.
If Italy progress from the group of death, expect them to be in the mix. Although they face criticism from the natives for never going for the jugular, no matter how weak the opposition. Expect Pirlo to shine again, even at the ripe age of 35.
Brazil
5
Uruguay & Argentina
2
Italy
4
England, France & Spain
1
Germany
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Group guide, Including matches, dates, times and TV channel Write Germany off at your peril. Get them in a is featured opposite. Next month we’ll feature the sweepstake and walk away a happy person. Knockout stages ! >
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Brazil - Croatia - Mexico - Cameroon
A
Date
Teams
12-6
Bra - Cro
9pm
13-6
Mex - Cam
17-6
Time TV
Date
Teams
ITV
13-6
Spa - Hol
8pm
BBC
5pm
ITV
13-6
Chi - Aus
11pm
ITV
Bra - Mex
8pm
BBC
18-6
Aus - Hol
5pm
ITV
18-6
Cam - Cro
11pm
ITV
18-6
Spa - Chi
8pm
BBC
23-6
Cam - Bra
9pm
ITV
23-6
Aus - Spa
5pm
ITV
23-6
Cro - Mex
9pm
ITV
23-6
Hol - Chi
5pm
ITV
Columbia - Greece - Ivory Coast - Japan Date Teams Time TV
C
England - Italy - Uruguay - Costa Rica Date Teams Time TV
Col - Gre
5pm
BBC
14-6
Uru - C.Ric
15-6
I.Coa - Jap
2am
ITV
14-6
Eng - Ita
11pm BBC
19-6
Col - I. Coa
5pm
BBC
19-6
Uru - Eng
8pm
ITV
19-6
Jap - Gre
20-6
Ita - C.Ric
5pm
BBC
24-6
Gre - I.Coa
9pm
BBC
24-6
C.Ric - Eng
5pm
ITV
24-6
Jap - Col
9pm
BBC
24-6
Ita - Uru
5pm
ITV
11pm BBC
D
8pm
ITV
Argentina - Bosnia Herz. - Iran - Nigeria Date
Teams
Time TV
15-6
Swi - Ecu
5pm
ITV
15-6
15-6
Fra - Hon
8pm
BBC
16-6
Ira - Nig
8pm
BBC
20-6
Swi - Fra
8pm
ITV
21-6
Arg - Ira
5pm
ITV
20-6
Hon - Ecu
11pm
ITV
25-6
Hon - Swi
9pm
25-6
Ecu - Fra
9pm
16-6
Ger – Por
16-6
5pm
F
Arg - Bos H 11pm BBC
21-6
Nig - Bos H 11pm BBC
BBC
25-6
Bos H - Ira
5pm
ITV
BBC
25-6
Nig - Arg
5pm
ITV
Germany - Ghana - USA - Portugal Date Teams Time TV
G
B
Time TV
14-6
France - Switzerland - Ecuador - Honduras Date Teams Time TV
E
Spain - Holland - Chile - Australia
Belgium - Russia - Algeria - South Korea Date Teams Time TV
ITV
17-6
Gha - USA
11pm BBC
17-6
21-6
Ger – Gha
8pm
22-6
USA – Por
11pm BBC
26-6
Por – Gha
5pm
26-6
USA – Ger
5pm
BBC
H
Bel – Alg
5pm
ITV
Rus - S. Kor 11pm BBC
22-6
Bel - Rus
5pm
BBC
22-6
S. Kor - Alg
8pm
ITV
BBC
26-6
Alg - Rus
9pm
ITV
BBC
26-6
S. Kor - Bel
9pm
ITV
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KLEEFORD COIN AUCTIONS Regular monthly sales of Coins, Medals, Bank Notes, Tokens, Small gold and Silver items
Do you have unwanted coins, banknotes or medals in a box at home? Call me for a free professional and without obligation valuation. Now online at:
www.kleefordcoins.webs.com For a free Auction Catalogue please call
01773 528743 or 07969 645952 email on kleeford@btinternet.com Also accepting lots for future auctions.
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Wills Probate Powers Of Attorney Qualified Lawyer Over 15 years experience Friendly service in the comfort of your own home
Contact Jill Hallam Tel: 01773 549037 ¦ Mob: 07523 963026 jill@jhlegal.co.uk @JHLegal JH Legal South Normanton Business Centre ¦ 40 High Street South Normanton ¦ Alfreton ¦ DE55 2BP
Thanks again to Terry from Alfreton Ramblers club for this fantastic walk. Although this is a taxing walk with some steep climbs it is worth it for the amazing views. As well as the tricky uphill sections there are some stretches of road and some stepping stones to cross so please take care, especially with your dogs. Enjoy! 3.5mile circular from Ashover Church A difficult and varied walk for you and your dog. The route should take around 2 hours. There are a couple of difficult climbs and descents and a couple of stretches of road . The terrain is generally good but as with all walks if it will depend on the conditions. A good pair of boots is a must for the up/downhill sections.
1. Begin at Ashover Church (there is ample parking nearby). With your back to the church head right down Church Street. At the junction turn right onto Butts lane and continue for approx. 200 meters. After the road bends round to the right take a footpath sign on your left. Follow the track across the River Amber and continue ahead to follow the path uphill over an old wall and following the way markers take the path that goes steeply uphill through the wooded area. 2. As you reach the top there is a lovely view of Ashover. Cross a stile over a wall of stone slabs carry on up the next field to cross another stile. Turn left onto a track, which you will follow for 300 meters until you meet a crossroad. Turn right here and follow the track. Cross Gin lane and carry on along the track as it takes you into Matlock Forest. 3. As you emerge from the wooded area take the path that leads diagonally uphill. As the path levels off and you see a stone chimney r to your left take the path that leads diagonally ader e R right, steeply uphill and through a wooded e Off area. 4. As you reach the top you meet a t-junction on the path. Turn right and very shortly take a left turn alongside a stone wall. 5. Cross a stile into a field and carry on ahead with the field border on your left. As you approach the wooded copse cross the field towards it and follow around the outside to meet the field border. Follow this down to the gate at the with every purchase of bottom. Millers Complete Dog Food 6. Turn right onto Holestone Gate Road. There is with this coupon no path so take care and make use of the grass verge on the left hand side of the road. Carry on ahead for approximately half a mile and as the road bends round to the left take the footpath sign on your right.
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7. Carry on ahead through the gaps beside the two gates and pick up the path as it leads ahead into a wooded area known as Bradley Hollow. As you exit the woods bear left along the path down through the field past the ruined building to cross a stile onto Gin Lane. 8. Turn left and carry on for just over 200 meters before taking a footpath marked stile opposite a farm. Walk on with the stone wall on your right and pass through the gate at the end of the field and into the next. Carry on with the field border on your left. 9. At the top of the field cross the stile and make your way down to the bottom left corner of the next field to cross a stile and follow the path with Hate Wood on your right. After about 70 meters take a stile on your right into the wood and go down the steps towards the river. 10. Take great care crossing the river via the stepping stones. Carry on with the fence on your right before taking a gate in the fence. Follow the path across a small bridge. Follow the path with the trees on your left then bear left diagonally uphill. You will see the church spire directly in front of you. Carry on to pass between the houses to reach Butts Road. 11. Cross the road and turn left before taking a signposted path on your right after a few meters. Follow this path as it takes you round the back of the school and the church yard to bring you out onto Church Street. Turn left to head back to where you began the walk. This walk is for illustrative purposes only. Voice Magazines takes no responsibility for anyone who chooses to follow this route and encourages all walkers to obey all byelaws and signs and to respect the area they are walking in, ensuring they pick up all dog mess and obey the countryside code at all times.
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Carla’s Kitchen
Mediterranean Fish Stew Ingredients (serves 4 people) 1 kg mixed fish (smoked haddock, salmon, white fish, prawns) 1 tbsp olive oil 1 leek, trimmed & sliced 3 garlic cloves, peeled & finely chopped 2 sticks celery, thinly sliced 1 celeriac, cut into small cubes 2 tsp fennel seeds 4 ripe tomatoes, chopped 2.5 pint fish stock
2 bay leaves 2 thyme sprigs Thai fish sauce (to taste) dash of cayenne pepper salt and ground black pepper (to taste)
Heat olive oil in a large non-stick saucepan. Add the garlic, leek, celery, celeriac and fennel seeds and stir fry for 2-3 minutes. Stir in tomatoes, stock, bay leaves and thyme and bring to the boil. Simmer for 15 minutes, stirring occasionally. Stir in the fish, bring back to the boil and simmer gently for several minutes until the fish is cooked through. Season with salt, black pepper, Thai fish sauce and cayenne pepper. Remove the bay leaves and thyme and divide the stew between four bowls. Serve immediately with a warm crusty bread roll. This recipe was given to me by my very own father-in-law, Joe. If you have a recipe that you’d like to share then please send it to me at Carla@voicemagazines.co.uk
Enj
oy
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BIRCHWOOD METHODIST CHURCH SOMERCOTES invites you to a
WORLD CUP STRAWBERRY LUNCH on Saturday 21st June 2014 from 12.00pm onwards Various meat & quiche salads & strawberry based desserts available Support your team with strawberries and cream!
IAN KERRY HOME SERVICES TIBSHELF PAINTING & DECORATING GENERAL MAINTENANCE NO JOB TO SMALL TEL: 01773 873925 MOB: 07970 296135
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Gardener’s Calendar - June 2014 Keep deadheading repeat flowerers; if they’re not putting their efforts into producing seed; they’ll produce more flowers.
You might think it’s a bit late to start growing plants which are going to produce the goodies this summer; but it’s just the right time for edibles like French beans, radishes, beets and lettuce. They’ll shoot away.
Top tip. Tagetes, those bright little marigolds, are great for keeping whitefly away from tomatoes if you plant them all around. And mixing calendula in with the veggies in your edible patch will help with pollination.
Early flowering shrubs such as philadelphus should be pruned back now rather than later in the year. That way you get a good showing of blooms next year. Cut back flowering branches to a strong new shoot – you can be quite brave about it. It’s also the time to deadhead rhododendron and camellias.
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Out and About
A daily guide to some of the local clubs and groups in your area Monday Baby Massage The Hub, Shiners Way, South Normanton, DE55 2AA - 2pm - 3pm. Ages birth - 4 months. Contact the children’s centre on 01629 533735 for information on the next course. South Normanton Striders (intermediate jogging
group) - meet at 6.30pm at Frederick Gent School. Call Rob on 07962 308933 (www.activederbyshire.co. uk/jog/) Young Parent Group A group for young parents aged 24 and under with their children. Meet at The Hub at 1:30pm until 3pm.
Tuesday Little Ones Group Alfreton Children’s Centre, Grange Street, Alfreton, DE55 7JA 1.30pm - 3pm - Contact 01629 533066 Baby Clinic The Hub, Shiners Way, South Normanton, DE55 2AA. 1pm - 3.30pm (1st & 3rd Tuesday of every month) Drop in for health
advice and have your baby weighed - Ages birth - 18 months. Contact - 01629 533735 Forest Gump Joggers (beginners jogging group) - meet at Frederick Gent School at 6.15pm. Contact Heather on 07983 51273. (www.activederbyshire.co. uk/jog/)
Wednesday Alfreton Nursery School and Children’s Centre, Parent & Toddler Drop in Session Alfreton Nursery School, Grange Street, Alfreton, DE55 7JA - Term time 9am - 10am - Contact Angela Stanton 01773 520031 Crafty Crew - Alfreton Children’s Centre, Grange Street, Alfreton, DE55 7JA 1.30pm - 3pm - Messy and creative play activities. Contact - 01629 533066 In-betweenies Alfreton Children’s Centre, Grange Street, Alfreton, DE55 7JA - 1.30 - 3pm. Group for children with mums, dads and carers up to the age of 25. Contact 01629 533066
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AVRUFC Senior Section Training during close season takes place at Amber Valley RUFC, Lower Somercotes (opposite Pye Bridge Ind Est.) starts at 7pm - 8.30. Contact Stuart Artliff 07966 867946 or Gareth Pilkington 07772 366157 Alfreton Town Juniors U14’s - 7-8pm at Somerlea Park astro pitch, call Ben on 07972 927236 for more info. Tiny & Toddlers Pinxton Village Hall, 3 Kirkstead Road, Pinxton, NG16 6NA. 9.30am - 11am. Age 0 - 3 years.
Wednesday Stay and Play The Hub, Shiners Way, SN, DE55 2AA - 10am - 11.30am. Age 12 months and upwards. Contact 01629 533735
South Normanton WI We’re a friendly group with a wide variety of ages. We meet every 3rd Wednesday at the Post Mill Centre, 7:30pm. For more info call Baby Play Pinxton Nursery School, 07580 635589. Kirkstead Road, Pinxton, Breathe Easy Group NG16 6NA - 1pm - 3pm. A friendly group for people Contact 01773 863105 for who suffer from lung related more details. illness and the people who Alfreton Singers Swanwick School & Sports College (formerly The Delves) 7.15 - 9pm. Mixed choir of friendly singers. All styles of music. Contact Claire on 01773 835316 for more info.
support the COPD suffers. Meeting on the 3rd Wednesday each month. 1:30pm - 3:30pm at the Post Mill Centre, South Normanton, Contact Phil on 01773 782875
Thursday Top Tots Alfreton Children’s Centre, Grange Street, Alfreton, DE55 7JA. 1.30pm - 3pm. Fun play session with arts, crafts and song time aimed at children ages 1-3 years. Contact - 01629 533066
Thursday of every month) A support group for parents and carers of children and young people with additional need and/or disabilities. Contact - 01629 533735. Breastfeeding Group The Hub, Shiners Way, South Normanton, DE55 2AA. 1.30pm - 3pm. Make new friends, share tips and discuss any issues you may have. Contact - 01629 533735.
Weighing Clinic Alfreton Children’s Centre, Grange Street, Alfreton, DE55 7JA. 1pm - 2.30pm. Come and have your baby weighed and see someone from the health team. Contact - Alfreton Society of Painters - 7pm- 9pm at 01629 533066 Pennytown Court ComStay and Play - Pinxton munity Rooms. Visit Youth Centre, Kirkstead www.alfretonsocietyof Road, Pinxton, NG16 painters.com for more 6NA. 10am - 11.30am. info. Age 0 - 4 years. Stay and play with your child and Alfreton Male Voice Choir Rehearsals meet new parents. 6:45pm at Palmer MoreCypress Parent wood Social Club, Hall Support Group - The Street. New members audition, Hub, Shiners Way, South welcome-no Normanton, DE55 2AA. just a love of singing. 10am - 11.30am. (3rd
Friday Alfreton Nursery School, Parent & Toddler Drop in Session. Meet at Alfreton Nursery School, Grange Street, Alfreton., DE55 7JA - Term time 1.30pm - 2.30pm. Contact Angela Stanton - 01773 520031 Childminding Network Alfreton Children’s Centre, Grange Street, Alfreton, DE55 7JA. 9.30am - 11.30am. A chance for local
Sunday
childminder’s to meet. Contact - 01629 533066 Tiddlers and Toddlers Group - Alfreton Children’s Centre, Grange Street, Alfreton, DE55 7JA. 12.30pm - 2.30pm. Run by parents and open to all. Contact - 01629 533066 Tiny & Toddlers Pinxton Village Hall, 3 Kirkstead Road, Pinxton, NG16 6NA. 9.30am 11am. Age 0-3 yrs
Sunday Amber Valley Junior Rugby
Coaching for kids from 4yrs to 16yrs at Lower Somercotes (opposite Pye Bridge Ind Est). Sundays 10am. Contact Stuart 07966 867946 or Gareth 07595 520537.
Alfreton Heritage Trust - The Heritage Chapel on Rodgers Lane is open between 2 & 4pm. Visitors are welcome to browse & test the knowledge of Trust members. Contact Rachel Walker on 01773 832349 or visit www.alfretonheritage.org.uk for more info.
Other Guiding offers opportunities in the following sections: Rainbows age 5-7yrs Brownies aged 7-10yrs Guides aged 10-14yrs Adult Leaders 18yrs + Senior Section aged 14-25yrs If you or your daughter would like to know more about Joining visit www.girlguiding.org.uk/interested or call 0800 1 69 59 01
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO INCLUDE YOUR NON-PROFIT MAKING GROUP IN FUTURE EDITIONS, PLEASE E-MAIL carla@ambervalleyvoice.co.uk Please note that some of the groups listed incur a small charge and we would always recommend that you contact a group prior to attendance.
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MOUNTERS PHOTOGRAPHY Capturing moments in time Portraits Weddings Corporate Shoots Interiors Products Sport & Recreation
If you have a project in mind please get in touch. We are confident we can help you
Contact John on 07504 292139 27
The World Cup a celebration of the beautiful game and brings nations from around the world in a carcophony of noise colour and fun. Surely not even grumpy gary can have something negative to say about this... Oh hang on he’s a rugby man!
The World cup, the greatest show on earth my a**e, give me the Olympics or a Lion’s tour any time. What can we expect this time around, well in chronological order here’s what will happen. Firstly, Pele will take a break from talking about erectile dysfunction and advertising Viagra and come out with a statement that England have a great chance of winning the competition. There will be some sort of sex scandal which may or may not involve Wayne Rooney and some ageing beach volley ball player, I actually think that it will be one of the younger players who ends up being kidnapped by one of the street gangs, rohypnoled and you can guess the rest.
miss our penalties will return home to a hero’s welcome and acting roles in fast food adverts. Why am I so sure of this, well that’s easy, it’s happened before, and on more than one occasion. The newspapers will also have done their usual trick of coming out with an exclusive scandal about one of the team just days before they depart for Brazil, but as is normally the case will hype up our chances and talk utter tripe about there being a near collapse of the national grid as every single person in the country makes a half-time cuppa. There may be one ray of sunshine though, if England do well, it might make the front pages and remove the intended Daily Express headline concerning Lady Diana being found in a 72ft snowdrift next to a house that has risen in price by 200%. On the other hand of course if it all goes belly up, as it will, then they can always blame the EU.
The BBC will take out 30,000 staff, build a new town and create a studio that looks like a set from Star Wars. We’ll be bored spineless by Alan Shearer who will then confound us So the big question is, who will win it? My all by expressing an opinion on Gary answer - someone else. Lineker’s choice of jumper and having a right old giggle. Remember you pay for all this through your licence fee, so enjoy. Then we come to the England team, who in the group stage will win a game, draw one and lose one. They will progress to the next round and go out on penalties to some small African republic, who have only been playing footy for 6 years. The players who
If on the off chance, you would like Gary to write about something in particular, feel free to contact either Emily on info@voicemagazines.co.uk or 01773 604178/ 07891 639638 or Carla on carla@voicemagazines.co.uk, 07896294512.
The views expressed in the column above are those of the author only and do not necessarily reflect the opinion of Amber Valley Media.
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CAN YOU LEND A HAND?
Got some free time? Like talking to people? Want to learn a new skill? Or use those you already have? Then we’d like to talk to you! Local charity, SNaP Development Project, needs volunteers to join its team raising funds for the community at the Chari-tea Shop in Pinxton. Call Steve on 01773 510882 for info or email info@snapdp.org.uk South Normanton Business Centre 34, High Street, South Normanton, DE55 2BP Co. No. 6786578 / Charity No. 1136223
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