A Simple Formula for Mastering Change

Change A SIMPLE FORMULA FOR MASTERING

BY SANDY INTRAVERSATO

When it comes to change, one challenging thing to overcome is the human desire to remain comfortable, even when something isn't working for us anymore. We stay at jobs that aren't fulfilling, avoid difficult conversations in pursuit of harmony (artificial as it may be), and keep in the safe lane versus taking a calculated risk.

As the mortgage industry continues to evolve, so do the technologies to optimize customer experience and automate processes and workflows. In my work with mortgage professionals, the transition to a sophisticated, fully-automated customer experience keeps people up at night. The pace, the amount of unlearning and relearning, and overall busyness create roadblocks to progress.

The case for change, however, is becoming harder to ignore. Dave Savage, CEO of Mortgage Coach, is a neighbor and my foremost resource for understanding what it takes to be what he calls the modern mortgage professional. He shared some compelling statistics about tech tools and links used by top producers, those individuals who originate over 100 loans a year: - 90 percent use CRM to keep promises at scale - 80 percent provide clients a POS link to take an app - 30 percent use Mortgage Coach to give advice - 20 percent use Zoom to connect and communicate

Other crucial technologies include automated scheduling (e.g., Calendly), video messaging (e.g., BombBomb), and reputation management platforms. Though I've had many angst-filled conversations about social media with clients, many top producers don't use social media strategically, according to Savage. The message: digital doesn't equal social media.

So, what's one to do when mentally you've made the case to increase your use of technology, but behaviorally, you're not taking action or keeping pace?

Use this math: VxD + FS> R = C

I picked up this formula in Jim Dethmer's book, The 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership, and it's a powerful tool for

change, whether it's personal, professional, or organizational. Pull this out anytime you, your team, or your company isn't making headway or are stuck in unproductive patterns.

In the formula, change is defined as an act of willingness, not knowing how or wanting to change. One can think about change or realize one needs to change, but it takes the will to start, persevere, and complete the process. It's a cousin to willpower, the control it takes to do or not do something.

Resistance, the R, needs to be recognized for it to be overcome. In his book, The War of Art, author Steve Pressfield calls Resistance, "the dark force that rises up to block us from doing what we most need to do." It stifles creativity, whether it's writing a book, growing your business, or any form of expressing our genius.

I like to think of resistance as the bundle of emotions and limiting thought patterns and beliefs and behaviors triggered when we are uncomfortable and fearful. Humans fall into two camps of fearful responses: avoidant or anxious. Resistance for us avoidant types shows up in cautionary emotions with beliefs that we cannot act until we have thought things through and rounds of rumination. Resistance for anxious types creates action-oriented energy and a ready-fire-aim approach. It yields missteps and failures and an inner voice that says, "See, I knew this wasn't worth doing" or "I tried that once before, and it was a failure."

Acknowledging our version of resistance and letting go of what is habitual or comfortable and walking into the unknown requires courage. Queue up a Brene Brown quote, "You can choose courage, or you can choose comfort, you can't have both."

The V in the formula stands for Vision, the desired future articulated in detail. When you continuously and repeatedly conjure up the benefits of that end state, you experience high energy and pleasant feelings. Based on my client experience, I know that "visioning" is a struggle, primarily when reflecting on the uppercase V as in "what's my Life's Vision?". However, I've spent a career as a leader and a strategist. I'm 100 percent convinced that there is power in describing the lower-case v, the "what do I want to accomplish, and what are the benefits?" with intention. Dave Savage noted that the first piece of advice they give new Mortgage Coach clients before engaging with the platform is "start with why."

D stands for Dissatisfaction. The opportunity for action is a simple strategy: count the costs. Anytime we are avoidant or anxious, there is a human toll that keeps us from being fully engaged, and "burning as brightly as possible for as long as possible in service of what really matters," as Jim Loehr writes in The Power of Full Engagement,

Loehr's career involves working with highperformance athletes, an environment in which energy management versus time management is the key to high performance and personal fulfillment. His system outlines four categories of energy: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual. We grow by expending energy beyond our limit (comfort zone) and then practice restoration. In his view, life isn't a marathon; it's a series of hard sprints followed by rest. Visualize a marathoner versus a sprinter at the end of the race: which would you rather be?

Most of us were socialized to repress emotions, especially those individuals that are uncomfortable. How often do you ask yourself, what am I feeling, and how is it impacting my thoughts and behaviors? If you are honest, probably infrequently. If you are taking the slow walk regarding adopting new technologies, the emotional cost is drawing down your energy

stores. That's a cost most people aren't entirely counting.

When aware of the emotional toll, we can refuel with a strategy of shifting to emotions that are energizing, fueling our self-confidence, and sparking our ability to act.

Self-confidence has two parts. The first is competence: do I have the skills? When it comes to tech, it's easy to focus on what you don't know. The trick is to reframe the mental tool in which we create a new context. A "start with why" exercise is an example of creating a new context.

The second part of confidence is about capability: can I do this? That is where one of the most energizing emotions of all, optimism, can show up. We can cultivate the ability to feel it inside and show it on the outside. It's an attribute that draws people to us and makes us worth following. We fortify our optimism with a daily gratitude practice and also by focusing on progress versus results. Optimism habits have the potential to make the change process a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Loads of research talks about gender differences when it comes to competence and optimism. Women tend to drive from the competency side and men from the capability side. My experience is that when it comes to change, there is gender neutrality. In our common humanity, we all struggle.

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Dissatisfaction because comfort-loving, busy, change-avoiding humans need a lot of energy to overcome the Resistance. Most people change when the Dissatisfaction becomes unbearable or unavoidable, the proverbial "burning platform." Growth mindset folks use the "V" as a catalyst to learning. Dave Savage shared one of his favorite quotes, "The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot LEARN, UNLEARN, and RELEARN".

Lastly, to activate and actualize all of that energy created in our VxD, we need FS the First Step. Years ago, I embraced the Getting Things Done (GTD) workflow pioneered by David Allen. This book was, for many other productivity junkies and me, revolutionary. He introduced the concept of "next action" thinking or the most immediate physical activity required to move a situation toward closure.

Most of us, when it comes to change, don't think "next action." We think endpoint. Using technology as an example, it might be "start using an automated calendaring tool." Next Action thinking (or in the formula's case, the First Step) would be whatever your brain says you need to do first, given where you are at now. Back to the example. Suppose you learned about the calendaring app from a colleague, your next action might be "call Allison regarding calendaring app experience."

The First Step is so crucial because it starts the change process. It allows the energy and the motivation in the VxD to be unlocked and unleashed. Without it, we are still thinking about things. And to extend the First Step, I also advise my clients when learning new habits to set up a series of contests that they can win. We are programmed to think the finish line is the only prize when most of us know it's really a series of small wins.

Win one, then the next, and then next, and you are there.

At this point, you might be thinking, don't forget to tell us to celebrate the small wins. Of course, a celebration is in order, especially if the change you are attempting involves your team. It's the leader's job to notice the forward progress and affirm and encourage continued hard work. Besides, seeing and celebrating daily progress is a hallmark habit of emotionally intelligent people.

But when it comes to change, all the noticing in the world can sometimes be derailed by the small failure that occupies a disproportionate space in our head. Fortunately, there continues to be more evidence that supports the burgeoning field of self-compassion as a practice. Seeing failure as merely part of being human is a powerful tool to overcome a setback. Better yet, it fosters resilience and confidence.

When the inevitable blip happens in your path to adopting new mortgage technologies, talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Recognize what you are feeling. Shift to thoughts of optimism and take that next first step toward your envisioned future.

Sandy Intraversato, partner at Iron Coaching, helps executives, business professionals and owners transform how they work, lead and live. She is an award-winning strategist who, before becoming an executive coach and organizational health consultant in 2013, held senior sales and executive roles at Sterling Brands, BuzzBack Market Research, Current Analysis, Gartner Group, and Xerox.