THE LAST WORD
THE TIGER MOM LOOKS BACK A CONVERSATION WITH AMY CHUA BY LO IS M. CO LLIN S
W
hen Amy Chua applied to teach law, she was rejected by 40 schools. And yet today Chua is not only a professor at Yale, she’s one of the most widely recognized legal experts in the country. Chua’s grit and determination is a thread through most of her work, which first burst into the national consciousness with her international bestseller, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.” That book, in which Chua refuses to let her daughter go to the bathroom until she masters a difficult piano composition, attracted both ire and fame for Chua, but she says her fiercest critics missed the central message: The most important thing for children is unconditional love. Her most recent book, “Political Tribes,” offers an unlikely solution to America’s partisan polarization. “Enough false slogans of unity, which are just another form of divisiveness. It is time for a more difficult unity that acknowledges the reality of group differences and fights the deep inequities that divide us.” Chua spoke to Deseret Magazine from her office in New Haven, Connecticut. This interview has been edited for clarity and length. You took some heat for “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother.’’ As you look back , would you change how you parent, then or now? Of course, like any parent, there are many little things that I would change. But maybe I’m just stubborn. I would probably do more or less the same thing. I’m incredibly proud of my daughters, who are now 25 and 28. I’m 82 DESERET MAGAZINE
very close to them, I love it that they always want to come home. They’re very, very family-oriented. They claim they want to raise their kids the same way. So I think that’s a good sign. I made a lot of mistakes. But I’m ultimately very, very proud of the young women they’ve become — and a lot of it has nothing to do with me. It feels like some people glossed over the warmth you emphasized in the tiger mom book. I could not agree more. It’s about striking a balance, and knowing that unconditional love and warmth is ultimately the most important thing. Everything else is just icing on the cake. I had all kinds of very kind, warm, funny responses from people who said, “I parented the exact opposite way, but I kind of related to this part,” or, “That part, I got it.” And the angriest, most brutal emails and responses I got were actually from people who often had very, very bad relationships with their own children, whether they were strict or lenient. It was almost more of a reflection of that. After “Tiger Mother” you wrote “The Triple Package,” which focused on why certain groups are successful. What led you to write that book , and to write about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints? For “Triple Package” we took a snapshot of 15 “of the most successful” PORTR AI T BY R ANDY GLASS
