A Man’s Guide to Biohacking Confidence
Ameer Rosic Monday, May 4th 2014
Read Full Article
Can you use biohacking to have the confidence of a Spartan warrior?
“Dude, just go and talk to her” Ever heard that from your mates? What about: “You practically bleed for that company, I can’t believe you let your boss walk all over you like that.” I know the first one personally very well. There were times when I was way too chicken shit to approach ladies, unless I’d had quite a few beers. Many, in fact.
Can you relate to this? These are just a couple of statements and scenarios that I’ve heard and seen play out many times. The question becomes- why?
• • • •
Why can’t you approach the girl you’d love to talk to? Why can’t you stand up to your micro-managing boss? Why can’t you do what you want to do instead of going with your partner’s wishes all the time? Why do you always find yourself following others and never having your say?
The answer here lies in biohacking your confidence. We don’t have the confidence for it. This was my problem, hence the Dutch-courage. Many of us men struggle with this concept of confidence. Why don’t I have it? How do I get it? Why do some guys seem to be brimming with it? How do I seem confident without being cocky? Why do we have such an issue with confidence? Fear is a big one. We’re afraid of failing, of succeeding, of being called out as a fraud. Often times we’re just afraid to put ourselves out there, regardless of what the possible outcome might be. Fear aside, for many guys, regardless of the root cause, the effects are numerous and incredibly damaging. Ask yourself this: are you happy with your life? What would you change or improve if you could? What’s stopping you from doing do? Often the answer here is simply having the balls to do something bold to make a change. Over years as a trainer and coach to many men I’ve seen endless guys with the same problems and one of the most common ones relates back to confidence. It often stems from body issues, hence why they’ve come to see me, but this body issue overlaps into other areas of our lives. We lose confidence around the workplace and as a result often end up in a position that doesn’t provide us with any satisfaction, we have a boss or workmates that make our day worse and we end up going nowhere. Or we simply lack the confidence to go beyond the easy, the day-to-day, and chase something better. This also flows into our home and in social situations causing all number of issues.
With this lack of confidence come the negative effects of low self worth, continual feelings of dissatisfaction and general unhappiness. These often lead to burnout, depression, anxiety and tragically in far too many cases, suicide. I often see this play out in a constant longing for the weekend, regular and heavy boozing (Note- this is self medicating) as well as endless started and failed exercise programs.
We’ve all been there, right? Sometimes it’s just hard! Wrong! Regardless of where you’ve been in the past and how much confidence you have now, if you want more confidence to start getting the things you want and living a more fulfilling and rewarding life, then you simply need to start putting yourself out there to the world, challenging yourself, learning, adapting and growing. You need to take control and make things happen.
Seems easy right… Let’s look at how. It actually can be. The number one thing to remember is that YOU are responsible for your life and destiny. YOU control what happens in your life, and YOU have a say in what you do and how you spend your days. In order to pin point the kind of subtle confidence I’m talking about, check out my definition of a modern day alpha to see the difference between the true gentleman and the dick swinging douchebag I think we can all recognise. The number one thing you must do is stop worrying about what people think and start getting outside of that safe little bubble you spend so much time in; your comfort zone.
ENTER CLICHE… Get comfortable with being uncomfortable
This mantra will help you to do all sorts of things you never thought possible and in turn your confidence will grow no end! Once you start proving to yourself that you can do things that you previously thought
you couldn’t, you’ll start to develop the confidence you need to take care of some of your day to day issues, like losing the unwanted fat around your gut, or bringing back the spark in your relationship. Your comfort zone is nice and cosy and warm. It’s also holding you back. Show me someone that achieved greatness from inside the comfort of their little cave and I’ll show you 100 who pushed themselves well and truly passed it. When you get out beyond yourself you’ll not only start to become happier in general, you’ll infinitely better yourself and realise your potential. My challenge to you is to start doing things that make you uncomfortable, therefore out of your precious zone. It doesn’t have to be huge, but everyday things. Of course in saying that it can also be something that scares the living shit out of you. Let’s look at some examples: •
• • •
•
•
•
•
•
•
•
Set one massive and well over the top long term goal- this could be anything, for example mine for 2012 was to source, cook and eat a different meat every week for the entire year. This took me way outside of my comfort zone weekly. Tell someone your most personal goal- this will act to add accountability to your goal, as well as make you as uneasy as a nun in a brothel. Call someone you’ve been meaning to call, but been avoiding it- simple little tasks like this are easy little daily ways to break the zone. Cook something for someone that you’ve never even eaten- never eaten lamb’s balls before? Get some and cook it for someone else, this should make you uncomfortable enough for one evening! And the reward and growth could be huge. Plus you’ll be eating some nuts! If you’re a tight arse go splurge and vice versa- if you never spend money on things you consider unnecessary then find something you’d love but don’t need and splurge on it. If you always spend money on things you potentially don’t need then stop yourself from making those next 3 purchases. Don’t touch alcohol for an entire month- besides the obvious health benefits, this is usually something most guys find extremely difficult, so do it at a tough time, say Christmas or on holiday. The peer pressure alone will make you pine for your safe little bubble. Don’t drink alcohol? Then drop something else, such as coffee. The key: Test your self control. Do the unwanted task- those situations always arise when something not ideal or easy has to be done yet everyone avoids doing it. Be the person to step forward and do it, every time. For example, remember as a kid hitting the ball over the fence to the grumpy neighbour’s backyard and everyone was too scared to get it? Be that guy with the balls to do it. Genuinely ask a stranger or homeless person how they are- most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to talk to strangers let alone homeless dudes. It’s uncomfortable too. Take 5 minutes and have a real conversation. Single men: approach 5 strangers this week and practice your game- every man needs his A-game and this means in singledom too. Not only will it push the comfort zone, but it will infinitely help you improve your game. Pay attention and learn from any failures. Taken men: approach 5 people that could make your life better in some way- this could be with anything such as a business partnership or an acquaintance that you know is great with kids so you and the other half can enjoy some quality time, but get outside your comfort zone and start making shit happen. Jump out of a plane- self explanatory this one. If that’s something that scares you, it’s outside your zone, so go do it.
It might sound scary or make you feel uneasy, but that’s the whole point!
These are just guidelines and you can of course make up your own, but set yourself 3 of these for the next week. Put something on them if you achieve them or not and make it happen. Check back in here once they’re done and let us know the outcomes and how you feel. Not only does this act to celebrate little wins, but also as accountability to ensure you do it. Doing this kind of thing regularly will allow your confidence to sore and you will see all sorts of positive changes start to take shape in your life and you will actively start striving for bigger and better things for yourself. It’s time to start doing the things you avoid in order to be able to do the things you love. Every man needs to be strong in will as well as the muscles. Work that confidence muscle and unleash your alpha! Plus, as I eventually found out when I put the beers away- chicks dig confidence, am I right single ladies?
About The Guest Mike Campbell
Hi I’m Mike, personal trainer, coach, author and a massive food and training geek. When I started as a Personal trainer nearly 10 years ago, I didn’t envisage coming across the same issues day in and day out, however, I did, and constantly have. Now I focus on solving these problems for men, and also what led to me writing my book:Eat like a man, train like a beast, operate like a gentleman and become a legend
I am incredibly passionate about helping guys become the best man they can be. I am the creator of the ‘Unleash Your Alpha Program’- a proven system for helping men unleash the power and awesomeness that lies within them, not just physically, but in all areas of life.
Ameer Rosic
Ameer Rosic is obsessed with health. A Registered Holistic Nutritionist, Functional Diagnostic Practitioner and Functional Medicine Practitioner, Ameer has spent years empowering himself with knowledge about optimal health, and now his passion is to share that with you! From interviews with top health experts to fitness and nutritional advice and more, Ameer Rosic can help you live a life of optimal health!
Discover more at www.ameerrosic.com. Connect with Ameer: Facebook | Twitter | Google Plus | YouTube | Pinterest