Mom 2 Mom

Strong Moms Strengthen Families

2011

Featuring‌ Membership Benefits Creative Parenting Becoming a Caregiver Published by American Mothers Inc.Ž

| about ami

e h t n i e r ’ u Yo ! t a e S s ’ r Drive AMI is dedicated to listening to its members and changing with the times. We want to hear how we can help you strengthen your family and build and maintain the best quality of life possible!

Reach, Teach and Honor A Foundation of Dedication to the American Family American Mothers, Inc.® (AMI) has a strong foundation and a long history of communicating with and educating its members to be better mothers.

and “Mother’s Against Abuse”, which focuses on safeguarding children from abuse, as well as several writing and art competitions.

AMI’s outreach and service projects include “ABC Quilts”, which helps at-risk-babies; “Books for Babies”

The organization is always looking for ways to educate and support our members with information on up-to-date topics focusing on parenting and the challenges of motherhood.

We welcome your thoughts and ideas to help make YOUR organization a better one.

An important role of AMI is to honor and provide recognition to those women who exemplify the strength of character and immense compassion on which our organization is built. Each year, the Mother of the Year® and Young Mother of the Year® awards are given to two women who embody this spirit.

Member Submissions • Ideas for Articles • Member Quotes • Inspirational Stories • Photos Comments Criticism

Table of

contents

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AMI Membership Benefits

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Parenting

American Mothers, Inc. Membership Benefits, History and Ideals…

Parenting Techniques, Creative Parenting and Spending Creative Time Together…

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Feature Story

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Health

An Aging Parent’s Health — as your parent ages, it becomes increasingly important to monitor their health…

Your Health, Cancer Prevention and The ABC’s of Antioxidant Rich Foods…

Mom To Mom Magazine

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Values

Values at Home — “If we do not teach our children, society will.

And they, and we, will live with the results.”…

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AMI Pledge & Membership Application

Learn the history of the AMI Pledge and submit your form for membership…

about ami |

Membership

benefits

American Mothers, Inc.© is an interfaith, non-political, non-profit organization for women and men who recognize the important role of motherhood through educational programs and community outreach. It is also the organization responsible for annually selecting the National Mother of the Year® and Young Mother from candidates across the United States, District of Columbia and Puerto Rico.

• Online Goal Setting Program • Support from Non-Political, Interfaith Organization • Messages of Support and ideas in weekly emails • Annual Conferences and access to amazing volunteer and community outreach programs • Recognition of those that strive to make improvement and stand for all that America was founded on

• Gathering of friends and women who support, encourage and embrace one another • Enjoying being part of a group with a high standard of excellence and code of ethics • Affirmation of your recognition of a higher power that helps lift and strengthen you and your family • Guidance and empowerment to attain and maintain courage, faith, honesty and commitment

• Opportunities to contribute to society • Encouragement and Help from other Mothers and access to mentors

for more information, visit

www.americanmothers.org

Membership Application on pg. 11!

Published by American Mothers, Inc.

History & Ideals The ideals of American Mothers, Inc.® go back to the compassion of a young Appalachian homemaker named Ann Marie Reeves Jarvis. Jarvis became impassioned by the unacceptable conditions of the Civil War. She devoted herself wholeheartedly to healing a war-torn nation.

Jarvis began teaching other women the fundamentals of care-giving to the sick and injured in her “Mothers Friendship Clubs”. In these clubs, women learned sanitation processes, which saved thousands of lives.

In 1858, Jarvis started “Mothers’ Friendship Day”.

During a group prayer, Ann Marie preached “I hope that someone, sometime, will found a memorial mother’s day commemorating her for the matchless service she renders to humanity in every field of life. She is entitled to it.”

Jarvis’ daughter was 12 when she heard that prayer, and nine years after her mother’s death, Anna Jarvis succeeded in making “Mother’s Day” a nationally recognized holiday. Anna Jarvis lived out her life fighting to communicate her mother’s vision and the true meaning of Mother’s Day.

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| parenting

A Mother’s Attention The technological advances in recent times are in the truest sense of the word, awesome. In many ways, these advances have given us the upper hand in parenting challenges. We can communicate easier with our kids through devices such as cell phones, with texting, chatting and video rather than in person. The educational opportunities available with television, videos and the World Wide Web are impressive and vast.

However, technology has also created a need to pay attention to nuances, tiny changes in behavior, new words and actions.

When we notice those changes, we must engage. The attention and focus toward our children is more necessary than ever. It is also important that we don’t get angry at behaviors that our children pick up from television, books or interaction with other children. After all, it is our responsibility to teach our kids the tools to selectively choose their words, their friends and their actions. All of this takes attentiveness, patience and time.

Three Parenting Techniques

1. Attentiveness: Look your child in the eye. Get down to their level and engage with them so they know that you are truly interested in what they have to say. Really listen to what they are saying. Do not assume they are talking gibberish. Even from a very young age, children usually understand more than we assume.

Ask questions. If something doesn’t sound quite right or raises a red flag, ask your child to tell you more about where they saw or heard about this.

Sometimes, it’s simply from a movie and they are emulating a character.

Other times, you might find that they are acting out a real life situation of which you were unaware.

2. Patience: Once you have your child’s attention and they have yours, have patience.

Let your child take their time to tell you about their day. You might be surprised at what you learn. If your child says something inappropriate or acts out, dig deeper. Make sure, that whatever the issue, your child knows that they can tell you anything. Above all,

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you want your child to feel as though he or she can let you in on what is going on in their lives. This trust is especially important as the “terrible teens” arrive. You want to be able to help them make tough choices when they are older. Consider every interaction with your child a building block that will help them later in life.

3. Time: This may be the toughest challenge in today’s world. Family Matters Parenting Magazine gives the parenting tip, “Squeeze your schedule into your family life, rather than your family into your schedule.” It is important that your child knows that he or she is the most important thing in your life.

As a working mother, I tell my child each day that I would much rather stay home and spend every day hanging out with her and that I miss her during the day when I am at work. The time that you spend with your children doesn’t have to include any major activities. It could be as simple as working together to organize a pile of toys or perhaps listening to their story.

parenting |

Creative Parenting I have many memories of my childhood. My mom may have raised my three siblings and me in tough times, but she found ways to use the resources available to her to make us feel loved and validated.

As a young child, I don’t ever remember feeling as though I didn’t have enough. I do remember spending time with my mom, though. I have memories of making valentines out of paper doilies and colored paper. I remember sitting with Mom and my favorite pooh bear for a dandelion tea party complete with mud pie with miniature violet garnishes.

Mom made sure that we had fun and that we used our creativity and imagination. She did what she could with what she had. I never understood how important those activities

were to my growth as a human being until I had children.

The other day, I sat down with my 4-year old daughter, and as I tore off tape and handed it to her and she made her first book, I realized how important the time was with her. As I wrote the story she was dictating to me, I smiled and thanked God for this time together. As we illustrated her book together, I thanked my mom for teaching me the skills to be a great mom.

I know that I will never forget these special times with my child. I believe that quality time spent interacting and appreciating each other helps form a lifelong bond with our children, and that bond is imperative to personal development as your child grows into adulthood.

Creative Time Together Reading or Learning Activities: Read a book to them. Do a puzzle or activity book together. Practice spelling or math.

Clean with your Child: Clean out the car together. Wash windows or dust. Sort toy bins or clean their room as a team.

Arts & Crafts Activities: Color or paint together. Make a craft or do an art project together.

Listening/Conversation: Talk about their day. Listen to a story. Share likes and dislikes with each other.

Outings and Special Trips: Imagination/Play Time: Make a cardboard box into a cave. Play dress up.

Tell Tall Tales. Pretend to be in fantasy land with your child.

Physical Activity: Run outside. Play catch. Play on a playground together. Walk the dog with your child.

Books on Creative Activities for Children Raising a Creative Child by Cynthia MacGregor How to Help Children to Learn Through Play

by Jean Marzollo & Janice Lloyd The Mother’s Almanac

by Marguerite Kelly and Elia Parsons

Join Us! We invite you to join us and become a part of AMI. Together, we can expand our outreach and touch more mothers. I look forward to working with you as we become a more dedicated force because “Strong Moms Strengthen Families”.

Go to the grocery store. Get haircuts. Go shopping. Go to the park. Go for a drive together.

Connell Branan,

Watching TV programs or Movie Time:

American Mothers, Inc.®

National President

Let them choose a program and watch it together. Talk about the program. Be excited with them.

Cooking and Food Preparation: Bake cookies together. Make sandwiches for the family lunch.

Published by American Mothers, Inc.

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| feature

Long Term Care Option “…19 million Americans caring for someone over age 75, typically a parent or a grandparent, who may or may not live with them. Often called “informal caregivers,” these adult children or relatives provide 75 to 80 percent of all long-term care in the United States.”

An Aging Parent’s

Hea

As your parent ages, it becomes increasingly important to monitor their health and make sure that they are able to sufficiently take care of themselves. It is helpful if you know what to look for when you spend time with your parent. Here is a quick guide to help monitor your aging parent’s health and well-being.

Weight Loss: If your aging parent has started to lose weight, it could be a sign of declining health. It is important that they are getting sufficient nutrition on a daily basis.

Malnutrition can lead to problems such as memory loss and confusion, loss of stamina, depression and injury. Ask whether they have an appetite and whether they are still preparing meals for themselves. A lack of appetite could be linked to something more serious like depression or an underlying illness.

a disheveled appearance or a general lack of concern for their appearance. It may be as simple as needing help making or keeping a hair appointment. However, if they have stopped taking care of themselves completely, it could indicate dementia or other decline in mental condition.

Socialization: If your parent is

normally a social person and their patterns of social engagement have drastically shifted, it could be a tell-tale sign of depression or the onset of dementia. If your parent is a regular Keep an eye churchgoer or if they have a weekly social gatheron changes in daily grooming and general care ing, like bridge, find out if they are still attending of an older parent’s surroundings. Keep an eye these important social outings. Make sure you out for tell-tale signs such as abandoned chores, talk to them and find out their feelings behind the change. They may just need a friendly nudge from a good friend, a safe ride or perhaps someone to accompany them on their excursions.

Personal Hygiene:

Strength: Changes in strength may threaten an aging parent’s safety. It is common for aging adults to hold onto their independence for as long as possible. They may try to move something that is too heavy or stand on a chair to reach something and injure themselves. Loss of hand strength from arthritic pain can sometimes make the simplest task, such as opening a door or using a can opener, impossible. When you are visiting, make sure to encourage your parent to perform some of these tasks themselves. Ask your parent if there is anything you could do while visiting. Maybe they need assistance with a seemingly simple task like getting a box down from a shelf or having a picture hung. Just being available and willing to help your parent on a consistent basis could prevent injury.

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feature |

Choosing to be a Caregiver

lth

It is becoming more common for American families to make the choice to care for their aging parent in their own homes. When an adult child takes the responsibility for their elderly parent, it comes with wonderful rewards, but also with some major challenges.

Mobility: Pain may limit or inhibit

mobility both inside and outside the home.

Watch your parent while you are visiting, and look for any signs that they are having trouble.

Are they still able to go up and down the stairs easily? Unevenness in the floor or steps could be proving difficult for the aging parent. Are they taking pain medication just to make it through the day? The use of a cane or walker may be a needed aid to steady a failing hip or arthritic knee. Install railings or shallow ramps in the home to help your parent stay mobile.

Sensory: As one ages, the senses naturally decline. Loss of hearing, sight, taste and smell can not only be frustrating to the parent but also potentially dangerous. Are they still able to hear the phone ring or hear someone talking in another room? If the parent goes out alone, lack of hearing or sight holds obvious dangers to their safety. Check to see if your parent can still read labels or recipes on food products. A parent may have stopped eating simply because they cannot taste or smell the food; therefore, it is not an enjoyable experience to them. They may be too embarrassed to tell you they are having trouble and may not ask for help.

If you notice that your parent is exhibiting any of these signs, be diligent in monitoring them and schedule an appointment with their physician for a check-up. Being aware of the aging process and its signs can help you make the needed changes to your parent’s living environment. Note that although the aging process is inevitable, it is also different for each individual. Factors such as heredity, stress, levels of physical activity, the parent’s food choices and possible history of drugs and alcohol use can affect their physical and mental stability as they age. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/aging-parents/HA00082

Resentment and anger is commonly shown by the parent towards the adult child for interfering in their lives and making the decision to take them away from their life. Many times an elderly parent feels that they didn’t need help and that they are perfectly capable of being selfsufficient. The child feels that they are nurturing and caring for their parent and can feel angry and resentful for the treatment they are receiving.

Frustration with a new living environment and difficulty in figuring out how they fit into the daily existence of communal living is a common reality for aging parents.

The aging parent has most likely lived in their own home for decades and has grown accustomed to their own way of doing things. They may not appreciate or understand the way that things are done at their new dwelling and may even try to change things to suit their preferences.

The parent may begin showing signs of confusion and dementia, which can be early signs of Alzheimer’s disease. These signs should be monitored carefully. An elderly parent may wander off and not know where they are or where they are supposed to be. This is a dangerous situation, especially if the parent were to decide to drive or stray away during extreme cold or hot weather.

Loss of memory occurs frequently as one ages. Even if a parent does not have Alzheimer’s, they may have constant short-term memory loss.

Published by American Mothers, Inc.

This makes it important that the adult child keeps track of whether or not their parent is doing important daily tasks like taking their medicine, eating their meals and brushing their teeth.

Accidents and falling are common in the elderly, especially on stairs or uneven surfaces. The adult child needs to keep in mind that their parent will try to hold on to their independence and remain self sufficient as long as possible. It is imperative that safety provisions are made for them to get around the house to prevent an unnecessary injury.

Many times the elderly have rapid loss of their facilities, both mentally and physically, which can cause frustration and ill will towards the child.

Taking on the responsibility of caregiver, especially in one’s own home, can be stressful. The most important thing for one to remember is that they have made the commitment to be a caregiver to their parent, and that is their main role. The addition of extra love and care that can come from being the child of the person is a wonderful thing, but it needs to be secondary to the caregiver role.

This may sound harsh, but it is an important consideration for the health and safety of the elderly parent. If anger and resentment builds up, the adult child can become mentally and verbally abusive over time. In extreme cases, this abuse may even become physical. The aging parent has no defenses against this abuse. A caregiver must remain patient and diligent, caring for their parent without resentment or anger.

If it is not possible for the adult child to be kind and gentle, it is most likely time to reevaluate and even search for another living arrangement for the aging parent.

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| health

Your Health and Cancer Prevention What is a Free Radical?

ABC’s of Antioxidant Rich Foods AVOCADOS are rich in an antioxidant called gluthione.

They have been found to be useful in preventing liver damage. Avocados have more potassium than bananas and are also a great source for beta-carotene.

BROCCOLI contains cancerfighting compounds called phytochemicals. Broccoli contains more Vitamin C than an orange and has high levels of Vitamin A, folacin, potassium and calcium.

When weak molecules split, oxidation occurs, which leaves an odd, unpaired electron called a free radical. The molecule roams around trying to find an electron to pair with and gain stability, attacking a nearby molecule and stealing its electron. A chain reaction occurs as each “attacked” molecule looks to stabilize itself.

The body can handle some free radicals, but factors such as air pollution, radiation and cigarette smoke can overwhelm the body’s natural cancer fighting defenses.

What is an Antioxidant?

An antioxidant inhibits the oxidation process, which can prevent disease and slow down aging. The National Cancer Institute states, “Antioxi-

CHILI PEPPERS AND JALAPENOS contain a chemical called capsaicin, which may help prevent cancer, particularly stomach cancer.

DARK CHOCOLATE has nearly eight times the number of antioxidants found in strawberries. The antioxidant, called flavonoids, help reduce blood pressure and keep important hormones balanced.

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dants interact with and stabilize free radicals and may prevent some of the damage free radicals might otherwise cause.”

What are Carcinogens?

A carcinogen is defined as any substance directly involved in causing cancer by creating cell changes that lead to tumor growth, and ultimately, cancer.

This article is for general purposes only. You should check with your physician for a diet and exercise program. More in-depth information can be found at http://www.cancer. gov/ and http://www.healthchecksystems.com/antioxid.htm.

values |

50 Values to Teach Your Kids

Values at Home According to Stephen Covey, in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families, “If we do not teach our children, society will. And they, and we, will live with the results.”

The idea of our present-day society raising a child is a scary thought.

Watching the news for five minutes puts one into a tizzy of worry for our children’s future.

It is up to us as parents to be the main role model for our children.

It is important that we understand that we need to instill core values at an early age if our children are to grow into healthy adults. It is not the responsibility of our school systems or caregivers to teach values such as respect, honesty and faith. This knowledge should already be in place when they reach school age. These basic core values are tools that your children need in order to be able to “deal” with situations, giving them the basis for their decision-making processes.

Consider using scenarios at home to “practice” real-life situations with your children so they have the experience when issues arise. You can role-play with the child or ask them what they would do in a situation and then help them find an appropriate response.

Consistency is important in parenting. The days of “do as I say, not what I do” are long gone. Our children emulate us whether we like it or not. The decisions that we make as adults, even the way that we speak about others, directly impacts the moral fabric of our children.

Remember to spend time with your children early and often. A daily lesson can be important to form your child’s behaviors. Using kind words and showing care and respect to yourself and others is very effective. Children are impressionable, and they will copy the behavior that they are subjected to a lot of the time. It is much easier to teach by example when they are young than to make the child relearn how to be a good citizen and person at a later age.

The responsibility of parenting can sometimes be overwhelming. But, if you can think about what qualities you want your child to have, and can set priorities of what is most important to you and then work together every day to be better human beings, then you are ahead of the game!

Published by American Mothers, Inc.

Acceptance Appreciation Approachability Attentiveness Awareness Balance Benevolence Care Compassion Cooperation Courtesy Dignity Discipline Empathy Fairness Faith Focus Friendliness Generosity Grace Gratitude Helpfulness Honesty Humility Humor

Imagination Independence Integrity Kindness Love Loyalty Making a difference Mindfulness Modesty Obedience Open-mindedness Peace Pleasantness Reason Respect Self-control Selflessness Sensitivity Sharing Spirituality Teamwork Temperance Thankfulness Trust Truth

MOY and YMOY Nominations!

Are you interested in nominating a special mom for the title of Mother of the Year or Young Mother of the Year? If so, visit www.americanmothers.org for qualifications.

A nomination form with complete details will be available in the fall.

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| about ami Watch your thoughts Your thoughts become your words.

Watch your words Your words become your actions.

Watch your actions Your actions become your habits.

Watch your habits Your habits become your character.

Watch your character Your character becomes your destiny.

Quoted by Tom Lickona, director of the Center for the 4th and 5th Rs Education Department, SUNY Cortland, NY, The Governor’s Summit on Character Education (9-26-00)

References

History of the AMI Pledge In the fall of 1965, the American Mothers Committee, Inc., concerned with the rising crime rate, parental and juvenile delinquency with attendant social problems, and in support of President Johnson’s Crime Commission, enunciated a “Mothers Manifesto”.

The Mothers Manifesto was a public declaration of intentions for these mothers. Thousands of mothers across the nation signed this 10-point pledge. They had a built in accessibility to root out these problems within their own homes.

They had an unprecedented opportunity to join ranks to put an end to parental and juvenile delinquency, riots, alcohol and narcotic addiction, pornography and general disregard of laws and law enforcement.

These mothers were of the opinion that we cannot blame the youth of today for the phenomena, which confronted society. They felt had parents been less selfish and more dedicated to their major responsibility of training their children by precept and example, society would not be faced with the current trends.

Of note was the fact that during 1966-68, Mrs. Bertha Holt of Creswell, Oregon, the 1966 American Mother of the Year, distributed over 5,000 copies of this Manifesto and over 3,500 signed pledges were returned to the American

Mothers Committee headquarters. In fact, signatures were received from over forty states.

President Johnson sent word to the American Mothers Committee of his personal appreciation of the project and its significance to America.

The list of mothers who signed the Manifesto was sent to the President and to the Chairman of the Crime Commission.

Despite these deep-seated, vexing problems, these women maintained that a large majority of our youth are great with larger potential than any previous generation. Therefore, the subtle tide of “moral deterioration” as described by the former President Dwight D. Eisenhower, could not be allowed to corrode their futures. (from the AMI website.)

The compassion and sense of responsibility of the members of American Mothers is shown once again in the history of the AMI Pledge. We hope that you will embrace the spirit of your predecessors and apply it to the current state of your communities. There is so much that one can do with volunteerism and kindness. Working together, we can maximize our impact and effectiveness in today’s world.

Many of these same issues remain a challenge to mothers of today’s children and future responsible citizens and are the basis for the current American Mother Pledge.

Hill, Melinda J., M.Ed., CFCS, CFLE, Raising Children with Character. Ohio State University Extension.

The AMI Mother Pledge Today

Covey, S. (1998). The 7 habits for highly effective families: Building a beautiful family culture in a turbulent world. New York: St. Martin’s Press, Inc.

I Pledge...TO ask God’s help as a parent

National Cancer Institute http://www.cancure.org/ cancer_fighting_foods.htm http://www.healthchecksystems.com/antioxid.htm http://www.mayoclinic. com/health/aging-parents/ HA00082

in today’s world...

TO encourage honesty, integrity, patriotism and the application of moral values in every area of American life beginning in my own home...

TO enhance the spiritual foundation of my home by precept and example...

TO love, nurture and educate my children remembering the power and influence of a joyful home...

TO foster personal responsibility and respect in my home and community...

TO serve my family and community through personal development as an individual, parent and citizen...

TO support and promote positive programs for children and families...

TO wage a vigorous campaign against abuse and violence in all its forms...

TO remember that with God, all things are possible.

TO see opportunities to strengthen my family by working, playing, serving and praying together...

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ami membership |

Membership Application Name: Address: City:

State:

Zip:

Phone:

Join Us! Please send your application form with payment to:

Email:

Type of Membership (check one)

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American Mothers, Inc.

 General Membership ($30)  Lifetime Membership ($1,000)

 New Member  Renewal  Gift Membership (If this is a gift membership,

1666 K. Street, NW

please fill out the information for the intended recipient below.)

Ste. 260 Washington, DC 20006

1-877-242-4264

Gift Recipient’s Name: Address: City:

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Our Purpose: To Strengthen the Moral and Spiritual Foundations of the Family and the Home.

Phone: Email:

Payment Method  Check (Make checks payable to AMI in US funds.)  Credit Card (check one):  Visa  MasterCard Card No: Exp. Date: Name on Card: V-code (3 digits on card back) Signature

Published by American Mothers, Inc.

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Washington, DC withAmerican

Mothers!

Save the Date

May 3-6, 2012

For more information, visit www.AmericanMothers.org