Cameo’s Cauldron

… in which Cameo Miller stirs her thoughts and ideas to s ee w hat r ises t o t he t op.

Common Sense

By Cameo Miller Illustration by Bethany Caskey

It seems to me that common sense is a rarity these days—maybe one of those things old folks talk about that they used to see in their grandparents. Now things are handled differently. Laws get written to cover things that should be common sense. Do you know that it’s illegal to tie your alligator to a parking meter in Detroit? Can’t you just see how that happened? Hey Jake, you can’t tie that there! Jake: there’s no law against it is there? Then there are all the “CYA” (cover your a ** ) laws that go ridiculously overboard in their detail about what is no longer allowed, or in stating that you can’t sue them for any reason whatsoever.

Recently, people have risen up against abuses that have been going on for many years (sometimes hundreds of years); have shouted that enough is enough, and have held perpetrators accountable. Even more, those who should have been overseeing these perpetrators and stopping them, but who did not, are also being held accountable. E.g., Catholic priests, the Larry Nassar scandal, school shootings and gun laws, polluted water supplies everywhere, the Me-Too movement.

Over the years I have seen and heard more than my share of abuse incidents of all sorts. So very many of these have been passed off for any number of reasons that had nothing to do with the issue at hand and everything to do with maintaining the status quo, not “rocking the boat”, “that’s the way it’s always been”, “just get over it” or “ignore it” with no recognition of what common sense would dictate as right and fair.

I have heard from a couple of people who are upset about the new USEF policy about Minor Athlete Abuse Prevention (MAAP) https://www.usef.org/media/press-releases/ usef-minor-athlete-abuse-prevention-maap and https://www.usef.org/compete/resourcesforms/rules-regulations/safe-sport. Not because they don’t want to see minors protected, or see minor abuse stopped, but because they recognize the distance this creates between truly caring adults and their minor charges. The instructor who rests a reassuring arm across the shoulders of a nervous rider, or who gives a big hug in joy for a special accomplishment, or in comfort for not doing as well as hoped—without getting written approval for this in advance from the parent.

I also thinks it’s important for us to recognize that there are differences of opinion as to what is “acceptable behavior”. We have a plethora of churches and religions because people have different beliefs. Are skirts above the knee beautiful and freeing or revealing? Are men who wear a tank top in public “relaxed” or “slovenly”? Differences give everyone space to be an individual— their own person.

Citizens of several countries are not happy with the policies of their leaders. The medical system in the US is very broken (although there are still many good people trying to help others). This list could go on for pages and still not include the things that you think are broken or in need of remedying. It should not be that everyone has to believe and act the same way. It should not be about trying to protect the guilty or those who looked the other way for years while abuses were happening— they should be held accountable. It needs to be about that accountability rather than about trying to codify behavior that should be common sense, or writing laws or making policies that have a debilitating effect on honest behavior. I applaud all who make any effort, large or small, to stop abuse in any of its forms, but an over-reaction is just as bad as no action at all. It doesn’t protect those who are truly in harm’s way and it leaves open the possibility of false accusations. If it’s a “CYA” solution, it does not address the proper problems. Fighting over details instead of using common sense ignores what is truly important.

This article is also not about the USEF policy, although reaction to it is what initiated it. There are many issues which have gone on for a very long time without common sense solutions to remedy the problem. But if there are things in the new policy that concern you, write them a letter which hopefully would contain your own common sense revisions to make it better. Help them to make the policy effective without limiting caring behaviors of adults towards minors. Children need to see and experience how to be good, caring adults.

Maybe what “the best” solution is—is an opinion, a value judgment. But maybe, if the right people come together, a common sense solution that works well for everyone can be found. If there are environmental organizations who can find solutions that involve big business, and actually increase business, while protecting the environment, then there should be ways to resolve other major problems just as inclusively. We desperately need middle of the road people with a ton of common sense right now.

About the author: Cameo Miller is a Masters-level clinical psychologist and a Level IV ARIA Certified Instructor based in Michigan. She is a member of the ARIA Evaluation Panel and National RidingInstructors Convention Staff.