Steady Up There, Little Monkey

By Didi Arias

Illustration by author

The first time I heard my wise and enlightened mentor mention the “monkey in the head” I knew exactly what she was referring to. What a perfect description for that inner “voice” that incessantly chatters on in the mind. Knowing that I had at least one monkey firmly established in my head I wanted to learn more about this monkey business, and most especially, how to rein it in. On went the kettle and we sat down for a long and informative chat.

In Buddhist teaching, she explained, “monkey mind” is an expression for having unsettled, confused and/or indecisive thoughts; basically, a metaphor for a chaotic mind. That sounded so familiar and gives a simian face to one´s inner critic. The Buddha described the monkeys as being “intoxicated”, carrying on excitedly and noisily (as monkeys tend to do when they get excited). Science also recognizes the existence of this mental chatter and cites it as a normal function of the brain, which I guess is reassuring to know.

So how does one know when you have an inhabitant monkey? Basically, the monkey resides there under the guise of your mind´s continuous mental “noise”, and It isn´t necessarily bad. That little monk helps keep us on top of things, gives us good hunches and instincts, so it’s a useful little guy to have around. It only becomes a problem when it takes on the role of sole DJ of your mental playlist of fears, worries and guilt, keeping that list set to “repeat”. When you do manage to convince the monkey to play something else, it bangs out re-runs of the past, anxiety about the future and self-doubting notions. As DJs go, when the monkey in this groove it won´t win any prizes for positive uplifting the spirit.

The monkey is at work when you are trying to have a moment of meditation but find your thoughts drifting to “why didn´t I buy those breeches in khaki and I forgot to pick up carrots”. Likewise, blame the monkey as you talk yourself out of riding today because the weather might get windy and the horse may spook and you may fall off, go to the hospital, get laid off from work and, and, and… If my coach has to remind me “not to over-think it”, I know that I let the doubt talk start up. When you are trying to fall to sleep, the monkey is either running through tomorrow´s To-Do list or saying “Hey, are you kidding? You´re relaxing when we have a big show tomorrow?” All this mind chatter keeps our brain cells in a state of over-activity, wearing us out physically and mentally – it doesn´t seem content to just let us “be”.

I asked my friend how one could deal with

an annoying imp and better still, how to get rid of it. “You need to learn to live in balance with your monkey -it´s not like you can call in an exterminator.” she pointed out, “But as it is your own mind, you can control the monkey; it isn´t the other way around”. In short, accept your monkey, make friends with it, but don´t permanently hand over the reins.

She then laid out her suggestions for “reining in” the monkey which I have put in to my own words as memory serves.

Meditate – The Buddhist belief is that the chatter can only be silenced through meditation, but I feel one has to be very trained and dedicated to be able to rewire their brain enough to completely block out all unwanted noise. Personally, some micro moments of meditative silence would suffice as trying to sit still and totally clear my mind is very challenging. I do think that some of us can find some meditative benefit in the performing of mindless tasks. My husband swears that mucking out is his daily meditation (great news for me!) and I do find that a specific art ritual I practice is very quietening and centering.

Engage in focused tasks – Our ability to multi-task is an asset of having a little monkey on hand as it allows switching on to autopilot to tackle a variety of things at once. But we also need to switch out of that mode and be able to put deep focus on single tasks, otherwise we end up just coasting along. When we can concentrate our focus on specific jobs or actions it gives the monkey some down time. Speaking of “down time”, if there was ever an invention made to keep one distracted it is the cell phone, so make an effort to wean yourself off its constant use.

Be mindful – Being mindful means “focusing on the present” and one does not have to meditate to be mindful. To be mindful just turn the brain over to being more aware of your surroundings through your senses, whether by concentrating on your breath, chewing slowly, the sensation of your hands To be mindful just turn the brain over to being more aware of your surroundings through your senses, whether by concentrating on your breath, chewing slowly, the sensation of your hands on your horse´s body.

on your horse´s body. This awareness holds you in the present and the monkey gets another siesta. If the mind wanders, catch it and gently guide it back. To practice being in the present, do it when it comes most naturally to you; for me, it is when I am in nature or quietly with my animals.

Hear No Evil – There may be times when your monkey mind loses its helpfulness and goes ape on you. You wouldn´t tolerate someone running up to you and saying that you were “ugly, overweight, a lousy rider, and had no idea how to teach” would you? Of course not, so put yourself in to non-acceptance mode should those thoughts invade your mind space, firmly telling that monkey “no way, we´re not going there”. Curb those nasty thoughts by replacing them with counter thoughts (“I´m looking great”, “losing twenty pounds was no easy feat”, and “my trainer thinks I´m an awesome pairing with my new jump prospect”). Substitute the negativity by envisioning positive outcomes (your student winning his class).

Physical Activity – It is no news that exercise comes up here as a recommendation. The endorphin rush from exertion puts a silencer on mental noise, so go ahead, saddle up!

Strange as it may seem, my personal monkey goes by the name “Mr. Jiggs” after the roller skating chimpanzee that gave a show at our school when I was a kid. I still remember him after all these years, so felt that it seemed right to posthumously honor his name (even though chimpanzees are not actually monkeys). Plus, if I am to live in harmony with my resident monkey, naming it seemed a good step in the right direction.

With our most interesting conversation coming to an end, I gained a feeling of clarity and normalcy. I have been reminded that I am my own DJ, selecting my own music and when to play it; I decide on the speed and the volume. Quite simply, I am the one holding the reins.

I was then gifted with the most beautiful Japanese ink painting of, guess what? A monkey. This now has a special place on the wall by my desk, the friendly face a reminder of its importance to me as part of who I am.

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Didi Arias is a Level 3 ARIA Certified Instructor and national dressage judge and teacher, who resides in Almeria, Spain.