Cameo’s Cauldron

… in which Cameo Miller stirs her thoughts and ideas to see what rises to the top.

YOU ARE UNIQUE

By Cameo Miller

Illustration by Bethany Caskey

We all have those in our profession whom we look up to and try to emulate. We learn as much as we can from them so that we can work towards being as good as they are. We go to clinics, watch videos, and read voraciously (no, I’m not kidding—have you seen the number of how-to books there are on riding). We debate with each other over different and varied methods—sometimes to try to get others to embrace our favorite methods, sometimes to refine what we are doing by adding in new techniques. And we are all well aware of the myriad variety of ways there are to work with and be around our equine partners. This can sometimes be daunting— there is no RIGHT way to do anything. Lots of people will tell you what the ‘right’ way is and argue forcefully that they are ‘right’. But you can talk to the next person and their ‘right’ way is sometimes diametrically opposed to the first person’s ‘right’ way. And we’ve all heard all the shadings of ‘right’ in between the two opposite ones. So those of us who pay attention have learned that there is no ‘right’ way. We again look to those who seem to be doing the best in whatever discipline we have chosen—adopting their methods and techniques.

But if you’re really paying attention, you will also notice that you have to tweak even the best advice to fit your own totally unique situation. Sometimes people feel badly about this—“I would love to be able to xyz, but…” Sometimes people give up on something that would partially work very well for them because they can’t do it all the way. What a shame! Pay even more attention. There is no ‘right’ way to do anything. There wouldn’t be “new math” if there was only one way to do math, there wouldn’t be new procedures if there was only one ‘right’ way to do surgery. There is no “only one right way” to do anything that I can think of. So where does that leave us? With discovering the very best way to do things for each of us. Each one of us has different resources and circumstances, different strengths and weaknesses, different everything. Each one of us is totally unique as is our situation.

We all know that the person who can train at the highest level may not have the patience or desire to work with the rank beginner. While there are those who are equally expert at working with the beginners. We know that the person who has an innate feel for what to shift or change to create what they want from the horse may make the very best trainer, but may not be able to explain what they are doing to be able to teach students. For every tiny bit of our profession, different skills and abilities are needed to be the best at it.

So what are YOUR strengths and weaknesses? No one can be all things to all people, and no one can be the very best at every part of our profession. But, as noted before, your skills, abilities, circumstances, and everything else about you and your life is unique. There is no one else in the world exactly like you. If you pay attention to what you do very well, and what you do less well, you can tailor what you offer to be exactly what some people need, and you will be VERY GOOD at it. Your reputation will grow, and so will your business.

Where many of us fail, is that we then try to expand beyond what we are so good at into what we are only so-so at. Always continuing to improve what we know is desirable and important, but we do not need to immediately incorporate that into what we are currently teaching if this compromises our reputation as “expert” at what we do know well. For example, you may have learned a great deal about saddle fit recently, but to then begin “teaching” that to your students may not be your best bet. It may be better to have the real expert come in so you and your students all learn more.

We are all coming back from a very difficult year. As I’ve said in previous articles, this is a really good time to reassess and change how you operate as you reopen. You really shouldn’t balance yourself on a scale using anyone else on the other side, or try to follow their path. There is already someone ahead of you there. Be so great at what you do that others consider balancing against you. Learn from others, don’t try to be them. They are unique too, you can never be better at being them than they can. You are unique, you are special, no one else in the world can do exactly what you do in exactly the way you do it. This is a great gift for you to use if you pay attention to it. Let’s go into this new chapter fully reopened, fully aware of our strengths, and fully utilizing them.

About the author: Cameo Miller is a Masters-level clinical psychologist and a Level IV ARIA Certified Instructor based in Michigan. She is a member of the ARIA Evaluation Panel and an ARIA National Test Center Administrator.