Ami Magazine_136

RAV DOVID SCHMIDEL: “WE CONSULT WITH A RAV BEFORE WE DO ANYTHING.”

MEGA SUKKOS EDITION

5 - I N G R E D I E N T R E C I P E S BY L E A H S C H A P I R A A N D V I C TO R I A DW E K

SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 / 11 TISHREI 5774 ISSUE 136

FOOD CURRENTS: THE CASE OF THE BREAKING CHALLAH BRAIDS

THE REBBE’S DAUGHTERS discuss the unique missions with which their father, the Klausenberger Rebbe, zt”l, entrusted them

5-

Whisk Journeys to Panama

Ingredient Recipes Leah and Victoria bring you special and effortless dishes liv136_whisk_cover.indd 1

The Kitchen Overlooking Two Oceans:

>>> THE REBBETZIN SPEAKS TRANSCENDING OUR DIVISIONS >>> BYTES THE SECRET TO A HAPPY FAMILY >>> MY TAKE WHAT VALUES ARE WE TEACHING OUR DAUGHTERS? >>> TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCES HE SATISFIED HIS WIFE’S LOVE OF THINGS WITH A DECEPTION >>> OUR DAYS MY HUSBAND’S TOXIC SECRET ALMOST DESTROYED ME >>> AN ESROG BOX BRINGS US OUR LONG-LOST MONEY >>> WHISK HOW DO THE HIGH-RISE DWELLING LADIES OF PANAMA CITY PREPARE FOR SUKKOS?

9/9/13 11:14 PM

liv136_cover.v01.indd 1

5-

Whisk Journeys to Panama

9/10/13 8:41 PM

Ingredient Recipes

vol . V I

The Kitchen Overlooking Two Oceans:

Gilgulim from the Holocaust Does Bubby Play Favorites?

A Water Cure for Cancer?

A M I C OL L E C T ION

FOOD CURRENTS: THE CASE OF THE BREAKING CHALLAH BRAIDS

ISSUE 136 SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 11 TISHREI 5774

ISSUE 136 SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 11 TISHREI 5774

Leah and Victoria bring you special and effortless dishes

S U K K OAMI S

Novardok

H I S T O RY

-

H A L A C H A H

COL L EC TION

A SPECIAL SECTION

vol. VI

MEGA SUKKOS PACKAGE!

IN AMI travels to the French countryside to explore one of the most unusual Jewish communities in the world Support Group for Divorced Men Rav Yitzchok Sorotzkin on True Happiness Rabbis Reaching Out to Muslims A Daughter Lost for 44 Years Archaeology and Bar Kochba’s Esrog An Expert Explains Esrogim Ruins of the Borscht Belt: A Photo Essay Torah U’Mesorah’s Rebbi Policy Interview with Jews in Iran

The Rebbe’s Daughters Speak

RABBI MANIS FRIEDMAN

RAV YITZCHOK SOROTZKIN

RAV AHARON SHAPIRO

RAV CHAIM HALPERN

RAV DOVID SCHMIDEL

ISSUE 136 SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 11 TISHREI 5774

$4.99 UK £3.99 OUT OF NY/NJ $5.50 EUROPE €5.50 CANADA $6.00 ISRAEL NIS 14.90

‫רה‬

Join Dirshu for a truly inspirational “Shabbos Chizuk L’lomdei Torah” which will mark the momentous achievements of many thousands of Yidden from all segments of Klal Yisrael who have learned with extraordinary accountability in an unprecedented way. The Shabbos will be graced with the presence of Gedolei Yisrael, Roshei Yeshiva and Rabbonim from around the world.

‫שב‬

‫ל‬ ‫ק‬ ‫ל‬ ‫ו‬ ‫חיזו‬ ‫מ‬ ‫ד‬ ‫י‬ ‫ת‬ ‫תו‬

`vie zyxt zay

c"ryz elqk f-d NOVEMBER 8-10, 2013 For more information, please contact the Dirshu office at:

somerset hotel and conference center

Phone: 888-5-DIRSHU Fax: 732-987-3949 Email: shabbos@dirshunj.org

"‫התאחדו עם "דרשו‬ ‫בשבת של התעוררות‬ ‫"שבת חיזוק ללומדי‬ ‫תורה" לכבוד הצלחת‬ ‫הלימוד של אלפי‬ ‫יראים ושלמים‬ ‫מהרבה קהילות‬ ‫שלמדו באחריות‬ ‫ובבחינות באופן‬ ‫ המעמד יכהן‬.‫נפלא‬ ‫פאר בהשתתפות‬ ‫ ראשי‬,‫גדולי ישראל‬ ‫ישיבות ורבנים מכל‬ .‫רחבי העולם‬

1325 39th Street | 718.436.7701

www.designixonline.com

does someone you love

suffer from memory loss?

Zicharon Presents:

By Popular Request Zicharon is pleased to announce that we are, once again, bringing to Brooklyn two renowned alzheimers/dementia experts to provide caregivers with vital information and resources they need:

Opening Address:

rabbi dr. EliEzEr KaminEtzKy, phd.

dr. Gary KEnnEDy

Zicharon is here to assist you with:

Director, Division of Geriatric Psychiatry Montefiore Medical Center

• Caregiver Support

“Caring for your loved one with dignity”

• MediCal referralS • HoMeCare planning

matt KUDiSH

• HoMe Safety • finanCial adviCe

Vice President, Director of Education, Outreach & Caregiver Services NY Chapter American Alzheimer’s Association

-

c O r P O r a t E

S P O n S O r S

-

“Improving Communication Skills, Managing Behavioral Changes”

WEDnESDay, OctObEr 2 at 7:15 Pm

GirlinG

MenoraH / lipSCHitZ Hall | 5000-14th ave.

health care of new York, inc.

Free Admision

For Men and Women/Mechitza-Light Refreshments

Sign up for our popular Caregiver Training Program “How to communicate so your words will penetrate”

Limited Slots

Contact us for more information,

718.534.1008

support@zicharon.org

FLAM RESERVE MERLOT 2010

90 s c o r e

Product of Israel

I give my wine everything I have, including my name.

Gilad Flam Winemaker

MEMBER

S M A L L TAS T E B U D S A P P

A Family Trusted Brand Since 1939

P R E C I AT E G R E AT TAS T E

Many meals?

...Many wines!

Importerd by HappyHeartsWine.com

Bring new flavor to your regular dishes. We at Happy Hearts Wine understand how a good wine makes each meal unique. We have imported a rich selection of wines, to pair every meal, every dish and every taste. Enjoy choosing them as much as we did!

9.15.2013 11 TISHREI 5774

140

106

Departments

26 32 36 44 52

EDITORIAL Righteousness and joy

64

200 202

MY WORD!

80

204

SK A An emotionally abusive father

86 88

210

HE SHUL CHRONICLES T Drashah season

212 214

BRAINSTORM

222

TREETS OF LIFE S Deposing the “Shah!”

DVAR TORAH

EWISH NEWS J Jews in Iran speak—Rebbis’ severance pay— Raising monuments in Bayside Cemetery— Sukkos around the world

RAV YITZCHOK SOROTZKI N

CHANANYA BLEICH, YOSSI KRAUSZ AND

DVAR TORAH RABBI MANI S FRI EDMAN

LETTERS ATIONAL AND N INTERNATIONAL NEWS YOS SI KRAUSZ

58 60

IN THE NEWS TURX

SIGHTINGS AND CITINGS BEN ROSEN

NESANEL GANTZ

EWISH LIVING IN: J Shanghai, China BORUCH WAH RHAFTIG

BUSINESS YEDI DA WOLFE

MBASSADORS A The exceptional boss AS TOLD TO SARAH MASSRY

90

UNCH BREAK L With Rabbi Meir Zlotowitz

94

ARNOOOSA P The heimishe economy

NE SANEL GANTZ

MAURICE STEI N

18 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

ASH ER V. FI NN

HE JOURNEY T Fragments of our past RABBI SHOLOM FRI EDMANN

RABBI SHAI S TAUB

RABBI MOSH E TAUB

YITZY YABOK

HE HUMAN EXPERIENCE T Only four days with my daughter AS TOLD TO SH I FFY FRI EDMAN

RABBI MORDECHAI KAM ENETZKY

Features

98

PYVIEW: THE CASE S AGAINST ASSAD Who gassed the Syrians?

138

JOHN LOFTUS

106

HE ROAD FORWARD T FROM DIVORCE A new organization is helping divorced men create a better life for themselves and their children.

RABBI HILLEL GOLDBERG

140

YOSSI KRAUSZ

120

HE DEFENDER OF T THE DECEASED A conversation with Rav Dovid Schmidel of Asra Kadisha RABBI YITZCHOK FRANKFURTER

128

ABBIS IN THE PURSUIT R OF PEACE The United Nations’ ultraOrthodox division CHANANYA BLEICH

OVARDOK: THE SEALED N TREASURE A reflection on the famed school of mussar OVARDOK IN THE N FRENCH COUNTRYSIDE A visit to one of the most interesting Orthodox communities AVI TUCHMAYER

154

OVARDOK THRIVES N A conversation with Rav Chaim Halpern of Armentières-en-Brie

182

AR KOCHBA’S ESROG B Ancient Judean coins shed light on a fascinating part of Jewish history.

RABBI LEIBEL REZNICK

186

O SIT OR NOT TO SIT? T Must one sit in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres?

RABBI YEHUDA SPITZ

194

HE ESROG EXPERT T An interview with Rav Aharon Schapiro of Bnei Brak RABBI EZRA FRIEDMAN

RABBI YITZCHOK FRANKFURTER

166

UINS OF THE BORSCHT R BELT A photo essay and conversation with photographer Marisa Scheinfeld RABBI YITZCHOK FRANKFURTER

194

166 20 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

We value family time, andWe wevalue make family time, it possible. and we make it possible.

Specializing in servicing the needs Specializing in servicing the needs of the Heimisha community.

of the Heimisha community.

Home Health Aides (HHA's) Nursing (RN) Physical Therapy Personal Care Aides (PCA's) Rehabilitation Therapy Services Speech Therapy Occupational Therapy

CALL US TOLL FREE

1-855-PHCOFNY CORPORATE HEADQUARTERS

MANHATTAN OFFICE

1267 57th Street Brooklyn, NY 11219 P: 718-841-8000 F: 718-841-8100

1370 Broadway New York, NY 10018 P: 212-444-9009 F: 212-388-6671

www.preferredhcny.com

Your Preferred Choice for Home Care.

Everything you can think of ... and more. expectextraordinary

C INT OMP RO LET on DUC ION ly $ TORY OF SE PR T 95 ICE!

69 .

NEW RELEASE!

,mi`xep mini zekld :‘e wlg ‘eke crend leg ,zekeq

ONLY $14.95 !

Includes illustrated diagrams on the mipin ‘c

Announcing the long-awaited release of

‘e wlg dxexa dpyn ’eyxc’ zxecdn

Featuring the Halachos of Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Succos, Chol Hamoed and more, all addressed for today’s generation.

Bottom Line Marketing Group: 718.377.4567

Many Shailos and Teshuvos have arisen since the publication of the Mishna Berurah over a century ago. The Mishna Berurah, Mahaduras “Dirshu” features contemporary Shailos with Piskei Din from today’s Gedolei Haposkim, to solve the Shailos of daily life. Each volume also features the Chofetz Chaim’s original classic text, plus sources, Teshuvos, explanations and commentary. No Jewish home or Bais Medrash can afford to be without this extraordinary volume.

Published by

Distributed by

zepeilb —

Leading Gedolei Yisroel provided Dirshu with their previously unpublished insights into the words of the Chofetz Chaim from notations on the pages of their personal set of Mishna Berurah.

mitqen —

Similar to ‘Musaf Rashi’ found in many Gemaros, all the writings of the Chofetz Chaim on different Halachos have been collected from his complete works for better understanding and clarity.

mixe`ia —

In many cases the classic Mishna Berurah lists only the final Psak without explanation of the reason behind it. In the Dirshu edition, one will find sources, lengthy exposition and Psakim on many Halachos positioned in the appropriate place next to the text.

888-536-7427

Available at Seforim Stores & Judaica Bookshops

RABBI YITZCHOK FRANKFURTER

Righteousness and Joy

I

“And the righteous will be glad; they will exult before G-d and be jubilant with joy” (Tehillim 68:4).

t takes the passage of years, sprinkled with life’s experiences, to fully appreciate the above verse. Young people often mistakenly believe that the opposite is true, that those who are carefree are the ones who are jubilant.

Actually, the Rambam, who understood the human condition better than almost anyone else, takes this concept one step further. At the end of Hilchos Lulav he writes that only a person who serves G-d lishmah, without ulterior motive, can achieve ultimate happiness (see Chapter 8:15, and Maggid Mishnah, ibid.). In fact, the Rambam also links the concept of simchas Yom Tov with the service of G-d purely for its own sake.

This linkage is key to understanding many things, including the reason why Yom Tov suspends mourning.

On a purely technical level, there is no tension between the prohibitions that apply to a mourner and the obligation to be joyful on Yom Tov. Today, the mitzvah of simchas Yom Tov ostensibly obligates one to drink wine and eat meat, things that a mourner is also permitted to do.

Rav Yoshe Ber Soloveitchick, z”l, explains that the contradiction is on an internal, experiential level. One cannot experience the joy of Yom Tov while simultaneously feeling the despondency and grief of a mourner. If mourning (aveilus) and rejoicing on a holiday (simchas Yom Tov) were merely external observances, or if one were internal and one external, then perhaps there would be a way for them to be fulfilled simultaneously. But since they are both primarily internal and mutually contradictory experiences, one must prevail over the other.

But there may be a more profound reason why mourning is terminated by the advent of Yom Tov. Out of the range of emotions usually associated with the word “love,” the Rambam retained but a few when describing the term “love of G-d.” And that is its single-minded, obsessive nature: “It is a well-known and certain matter that the love of G-d does not become bonded in a man’s heart until he is continuously and thoroughly possessed by it and gives up everything else in the world for it” (Hilchos Teshuvah 10:6). At the end, he further defines that 26 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

this level of avodah is the worship of G-d lishmah, for its own sake.

If simchas Yom Tov is dependent upon worshipping G-d lishmah and is based upon being “lovesick” for Him, then the joy of Yom Tov must abrogate anything that might distract one from this single-minded focus. Therefore, both mourning and marrying are disallowed on festivals.

The Rambam in Hilchos Yom Tov (7:16) rules: “We do not marry women during the Moed, lest simchas hachag be forgotten amidst the simchas nissuin.”

In Hilchos Ishus (10:14), however, he offers a different reason: “We do not marry women during the Moed because we do not mix simchos.”

There are, in fact, two separate dinim or halachic principles involved. From the perspective of Hilchos Ishus, marriage is prohibited simply because we do not mix two simchos. But from the perspective of Hilchos Yom Tov, there is an additional reason why it is prohibited to marry on festivals, which is that simchas Yom Tov requires exclusivity and single-mindedness, from which the ceremony of marriage would distract.

These days the Rambam is often misquoted. Heretics and apostates distort his words in order to advance an anti-Torah agenda and perspective, seeking to undermine Torah with the words of one of its greatest sages. But for those who have any familiarity with the Rambam’s writings, those who know what he wrote about being “lovesick” for G-d, their arguments are like the chaff driven away by the wind.

In truth, the Rambam was one of the greatest proponents of a Jew being exclusively dedicated to G-d, with total disregard for the ways and vanities of the world. He taught that one must withdraw from the conduct of ordinary folk who walk in the obscurities of the times and abandon its intrigues, while constantly focusing one’s mind on higher things. In so doing, man will not only attain the crown of Torah but in the process will also reach the level of prophecy.

Now, these are the types of things that the Rambam believed denote true happiness.

•

New from

Over three decades of Torah Literacy THE CLASSIC PATH TO PERSONAL I T ' S GROWTH

N N OW I I N T I N G ND P R 2

4The phrase-by-phrase translation, in the format of the Schottenstein Talmud, shows us the richness of Ramchal’s writing.

4Extensive explanatory notes, based on dozens of commentaries as well as Torah and mussar classics, give us a deeper understanding of this classic work.

4The unique Insights section brings the words of Mesillas Yesharim into our lives, taking us on a wondrous journey to self-discovery.

FROM THE AUTHOR OF THE BESTSELLING NOVEL

THE

BETRAYAL

NEW !

NOVEL

Outcast The

by M. KENAN

Dedicated by the Jaffa Families

The Outcast is a novel almost impossible to describe in a few short sentences. At its OVER 750 churning center is Mahalalel, a boy whose PAGES! very identity was taken from him as a child.

Revolving around the mystery of his birth is a fascinating, compelling cast of characters, each with his own history, many with their own secrets.

Compelling, engrossing, and utterly unique, The Outcast takes us into a world we will remember forever.

Overwhelmed by Yom Tov menu planning?

NOT ANYMORE! Now complete every! meal with…

NEW

60 EASY-TO-MAKE kosher recipes FULL-COLOR PHOTO for each dish In-depth SPICE GUIDE PLATING & SERVING suggestions

ONLY $LI1ST5PR.9IC9 E

COMING AFTER SUCCOS The final volume in the Laws of Shabbos Series

by Leah

Schapira and Victoria Dwek

Recent Releases

bistritzky edition

the aura of shabbos A selection of relevant Erev Shabbos and Shabbos Laws

by Rabbi Simcha Bunim Cohen

SHLOMIE!

by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman

CLASS ACTS

by Rabbi Nachman Seltzer

FATAL JUDGMENT

by Yisroel Mayer Merkin

TURNING IDEAS INTO ACTION

by Rabbi Noach Orlowek

Available now at your local Hebrew bookseller or at www.artscroll.com 1-800-MESORAH (637-6724)

keen•wa You’re going to be asking for these a lot.

Might as well get the pronunciation straight.

al l natu ral • whol e s ome • mu ltigr ai n Goldbaum’s light and airy quinoa crisps are made with the goodness of protein-rich quinoa, plus brown rice, wholegrain corn, flaxseed, and teff. Crispy, crunchy goodness in each bagful, and a medley of flavors, textures and delightfully nuanced seasoning in every mouthful.

Weird to spell. Fun to eat. We’re on a first-name basis now.

we lcome to th e n ew fac e of

The Tnuva Project at Minchat Yitzchak. email: tnuva.sales@gmail.com

Tel: +972-2-6230094, Mobile: +972-50-4123766

LifEsTyLE THAT iNspiREs By living the dream in the perfect setting

Tnuvat Ha’aretz. Come enjoy beautifully landscaped areas, private parks and leafy paths.

Take a deep breath and let the tranquil surroundings take you away from the pulsing city center just outside. tionad c u r st he Conving aeed! mofull sp isit us ev .

Comon site

TNUVAT HA’ARETZ

True Happiness Understanding joy through difficulties

BY RAV YITZCHOK SOROTZKIN

E

very Yom Tov, we have a mitzvah of simchah. But the only Yom Tov that we refer to as Zman Simchaseinu is the Yom Tov of Sukkos. And the reason for this is as the Rambam writes in the first perek of Hilchos Sukkah: “Af al pi sheb’chol hamoados mitzvah lismoach bahem, chag haSukkos haysah ba’mikdash simchah yeseirah.” The level of happiness on the Yom Tov of Sukkos was much greater than on the other yamim tovim.

Even further, it would seem from the Gemara that the true level of simchah was only the simchah that was present on the Yom Tov of Sukkos. The Gemara tells us in Sukkah, “Mi shelo ra’ah simchas beis hashoeivah lo ra’ah simchah mi’yamav”—If a person never experienced the simchah on Yom Tov at the Simchas Beis Hashoeivah, he never really experienced what true simchah is. That means that the essence of simchah was only on the chag haSukkos.

It’s brought down that the Vilna Gaon used to be very happy on every Yom Tov, but when it came to Sukkos, it was a totally different level of simchah. It was a higher level of simchah.

Therefore, we refer to Sukkos as zman simchaseinu.

During the Yom Tov of Sukkos, we leave the comforts of our homes and go out into a sukkah. A sukkah is a diras arai, a temporary dwelling. It’s not so comfortable to be in a sukkah. The Tur says we go out to a sukkah in the chodesh of Tishrei because it’s a time of rain. But even though it’s difficult, we go, in order to do the mitzvah.

This would seem to contradict the idea of Sukkos being a time of simchah. Instead, it’s a time when we have difficulties. Rather than enjoying the comforts of our homes, we go out to a temporary abode that doesn’t have all the comforts and luxuries and furniture of a home, in a rainy season. This is supposed to be zman simchaseinu?

There is a further problem. The Yalkut asks why we go into a sukkah after Yom Kippur and not during chodesh Nissan [when we left Egypt and traveled under the Clouds of Glory that the sukkah represents]. The Yalkut answers that the reason is that in case we received a judgment on Rosh Hashanah to go into galus, into exile, we leave our homes to go into the sukkah, and with 32 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

that we’re considered as if we went in exile.

Sukkah is a type of exile. You have to take everything out into the sukkah and leave your regular pattern in life. This is a type of galus. And yet it’s zman simchaseinu. It seems like a contradiction.

Not only is the Yom Tov a time of simchah, the mitzvah of sukkah itself is one of simchah. David Hamelech asked the Ribbono shel Olam, “Todi’eini orach chayim,” show me the way of life—a life that should be “soveia semachos,” saturated with simchah. And the Midrash in Vayikra says, “Al tikri soveia semachos”—don’t read it “full of simchah” but rather “sheva semachos”—seven “happinesses.” And the Midrash goes on to say that there are seven mitzvos in the Yom Tov of Sukkos and they’re all associated with simchah. One of the mitzvos mentioned is the mitzvah of sukkah. Mitzvas sukkah is a mitzvah shel simchah and a mitzvah shel galus. It’s a mitzvah that’s performed in the cold and rain, and yet is called a mitzvah shel simchah. How do we understand that?

To answer these questions, we need to understand what

should cause us to have simchah.

We all know “l’fum tza’ara agra.” An easy mitzvah, an easy life, isn’t so valuable. The harder the life, the greater the reward.

Rav Simchah Zissel, the Alter of Kelm, used to say that when the nisyonos and tza’ar are greater, the reward keeps getting greater and greater. It can turn into millions in comparison to an easy mitzvah.

In the beginning of Mesillas Yesharim, the Ramchal records an important principle. He says that we’re not here to take life easy.

That’s not why the Eibishter created a person. If a person had an easy life, there’d be no purpose for him here. What is he accomplishing? A person is put to trial on this world. Everybody must go through nisyonos, trials. Nobody is free from nisyonos. Every person has his pekel of nisyonos.

And the Mesillas Yesharim writes that the greater the person the greater his tests. If a person can withstand greater tests, the Eibishter gives him greater nisyonos. He can accomplish more.

He has more kochos to overcome those nisyonos. And the Mesillas Yesharim explains that the more you can overcome your difficulties, the more that itself is a source for your simchas hachayim and chedvas hachayim.

There’s a Gemara in Nedarim and Beitzah that says, “These Babylonians were foolish people. They ate bread with bread.”

What is the deeper meaning of someone eating bread with bread?

The Chasam Sofer explains that there was no purpose to the life of a Bavli at that time. You’d ask a Bavli, “Why are you working?” and the answer would be, “To put food on the table.”

Then you’d ask, “Why are you eating?” The answer would be, “To have strength to work.” It’s a vicious cycle. You’re working to eat and eating to work. Is there any purpose in that life?

They ate “bread with bread.” They ate food to be able to eat again. There was no tachlis, no purpose. But a Yid has a tachlis in life—avodas Hashem. And when a person lives with purpose he is the most content, has the most simchah and biggest sense of accomplishment no matter what he goes through, because his nisyonos just make his tachlis greater.

The Gemara in Brachos says, “Rav Shimon bar Yochai says: Hashem gave three good gifts to Yisrael”—the three greatest presents that mankind has.

What were these three matanos tovos? Torah, Eretz Yisrael and olam haba.

The Gemara says, “And all were only given through suffering.” There’s a price tag attached to these gifts. The Eibishter didn’t give them for free. We have to earn them to merit them.

I believe this is the concept of Sukkos as zman simchaseinu.

True, we leave the comforts of our homes. We go to diras arai.

We go into galus. And, yet, this is our simchah.

If a person had an easy life, there’d be no purpose for him here. What is he accomplishing?

When a person looking sad would meet the Chazon Ish, the Chazon Ish would tell him, “How can you be sad when you just said ‘Ata bechartanu mi’kol ha’amim, ahavta osanu, v’ratzisa banu, v’romamtanu mi’kol haleshonos, v’keiravtanu malkeinu la’avodasecha’?” A Yid feels the fortune he has that he can serve the Eibishter. Yissurim can’t diminish it. They just elevate the purpose.

The Mesillas Yesharim explains that simchah is an outgrowth of ahavah. If you love something, you do it with simchah. A child loves his parents. He serves them with simchah because he feels it’s a great opportunity to show his parents that he’s happy to do so.

A person should have a great desire to serve Hashem. He should run after Torah and avodah with simchah. Then the Mesillas Yesharim writes that the test to see if you have ahavah of Hashem is when the going is rough. If you don’t have ahavah, you can’t overcome difficulties. But when there’s love, nothing is hard. We are put to the test on Sukkos. Hashem says, “Leave your nice house and go into galus in that little booth in a time of rain.” And let’s see how you perform that mitzvah. Do you go into your sukkah with simchah and ahavah? Then you are truly an eved Hashem who understands how to serve the Eibishter with simchah and ahavah—who feels the “mah tov chelkeinu.”

Sukkos, out of all the yamim tovim, is zman simchaseinu because true simchah is when we come to a test and we are able to overcome it with happiness.

•

Rav Yitzchok Sorotzkin is a rosh yeshivah at the Mesivta of Lakewood and is a noted author of many sefarim. Rabbi Sorotzkin is widely recognized as a leading Torah authority.

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

33

‫‪BE PART‬‬ ‫‪OF THE HIDDUR‬‬

‫הוד והדר לבשת‬ ‫במה אתה מקדשו במאכל ובמשתה ובכסות נקיה‬

‫חג שמח‬ ‫אשדוד‬

‫בית שמש‬

‫רבא ‪16‬‬

‫בכיכר‬

‫נהר הירדן ‪39‬‬

‫‪LONDON‬‬ ‫‪0208 806 1991‬‬

‫‪KIRYAS JOEL‬‬ ‫‪845.782.7720‬‬

‫‪MONSEY‬‬ ‫‪845.352.2702‬‬

‫‪WMSBG‬‬ ‫‪718.923.6060‬‬

‫‪BORO PARK‬‬ ‫‪718.871.7841‬‬

‫בני ברק‬

‫אמרי ברוך ‪1‬‬ ‫כיכר שלם‬

‫ירושלים‬

‫עמוס ‪ 15‬הרקמה ‪7‬‬ ‫מתחם שהחיינו‬

Avodas Hashem:

The Engine that Runs Our Torah Lives Without it, our learning and mitzvah performance are like a body without a soul

BY RABBI MANIS FRIEDMAN

A

vodah is the energy with which you do a mitzvah. The act of giving tzedakah is a mitzvah, but if you do it out of habit, there is no avodah. Do it with love or fear or humble obedience—that is avodah.

Avodah comes in two forms. As the word itself implies, “I serving you” means you are important; I am not. Ergo I surrender my time and energy to your wishes. Yet serving also implies that I have something you need and I am thus important to you. The former avodah is called Kabbalas Ol Malchus Shamayim—accepting the yoke of Heaven. The latter is called Avodah Penimis—a personal service.

What motivates avodah?

Inspiration to avodah may come from above. When you are given a revelation of G-dliness—a near-death experience, a neis, a visit to the Kosel Hamaaravi or to Auschwitz—something powerful and overwhelming happens to you that can dramatically change your life. It can also dissipate as quickly as it came. This inspiration is called makif—an external force bigger than you that pushes you beyond your nature.

Inspiration may also be internally generated. When you consider what a Yid is supposed to be as compared to what you actually are at the moment, you feel a deep dissatisfaction and yearn to be better. When you consider all that Hashem has done for you—how patient He is with you—and then reflect how little you have done for Him, some internal movement of heart and mind brings you to a better place. This is penimi.

These changes are not as dramatic as when pushed from above, but they cause permanent and deep growth. Makif is a higher inspiration, and penimi is a deeper one. A leftist Yiddish writer once spent a Shabbos in Brooklyn, and in his column the next day he described the difference between “zayer frum” and “teef frum”—makif and penimi.

The Yamim Noraim are makif, awe inspiring—Yom Hadin! Seli36 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

chah and kapparah! Every Jew feels a twinge of teshuvah, sometimes in spite of himself. That is the effect of yemei teshuvah.

Sukkos is more of a reaction of relief and gratitude, which moves us to joy.

However, in the sukkah itself we see both makif and penimi.

Makif is bigger than you, and the sukkah is bigger than you and all your guests. All Jews of the world could sit in one sukkah.

Makif is above you; the schach is above you both physically and spiritually. It is similar to the anan haketores, the smoke of incense offered by the Kohen Gadol on Yom Kippur in the Holy of Holies!

The sukkah is “arai,” a temporary structure because it is beyond the natural. Yet it is also penimi. We are to “sit” in the sukkah as in our own home. Sitting suggests permanence, familiarity. We eat in the sukkah. Eating is a process of internalizing the food so that it becomes flesh and bones: penimi.

8

Nights

This winter, again, This combining of makif and penimi brings the power of the makif into the penimi like a neshamah into a body, a process called yichudim—“e pluribus unum [out of many, one].”

To better understand this: During Sukkos, 70 oxen were brought on the mizbei’ach as a blessing for the 70 nations of the world. On Shmini Atzeres, only one ox was offered for Bnei Yisrael, “par yechidi.” It is like a king who celebrates with all his subjects, and on the last day, when everyone is leaving, the king asks his closest friend to stay one more day and rejoice together, “just you and me.” The days of Sukkos seem to be makif in that all the nations are involved. Makif is inclusive, being greater than the individuals. But when the King asks us to stay for a private celebration—just Yisrael and Malkeinu— we realize that, just under the surface, Hashem’s joy with Yidden is truly unique. Penimi: personal.

For two thousand years the world was treated to makif of chesed—indiscriminate kindness—to people who did not deserve, and for extensive lifetimes. Noach made his teivah that was his sukkah. But it was all makif. He had to be “pushed” from above and could not convince even one stranger to join him. Then Avraham is born and the world is ready for some penimiyus. Avraham enlightens the perplexed, making the people aware of one Creator Who should be thanked and worshiped exclusively: internal transformation, penimi. Unlike the teivah of Noach, our sukkah brings together the awesome makif, too big for human “vessels,” into the vessel of mind and heart, of thought, speech and physical acts, thus preventing the goodness from indiscriminately allowing the wicked to prosper as in the times of Noach.

Now the blessings of a good sweet year are given to us personally, not like a public soup kitchen, because Zman Simchaseinu is OUR simchah. The simchah of Hashem, with His “Am Segulah,” and the simchah of Yidden, with Hashem Elokei Yisrael, combine to create a powerful, eternal, inescapable bond made personal and individual through sitting under the schach of the sukkah—makifim in a penimiyus. When the nations of the world will see our success in bringing Hakadosh Baruch Hu into the world of action, they will rejoice like guests at a royal wedding. On that day we will see that Hashem Echad U’Shemo Echad.

Winter Club is organizing an outstanding vacation at the Dead Sea ve star Privilege Hotel

Leonardo privilege Hotel Dead Sea January 15-23/2014

•

For reservations:

Rabbi Manis Friedman is a world renowned author and speaker and travels the world inspiring thousands to be better people.

He is dean of Bais Chana Women International and author of “Doesn’t Anyone Blush Anymore?”

Quality vacation for the entire family

IL 972-2-540-21-22 Belgium 0486-4652-30 UK 208-802-0773 US 917-5105980

2 6 E L U L 5 7 7 3 / / S E P T E Mwww.winterclub.co.il BER 1, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

37

> Seasonal vacations > Projects > Shabbos events > Weekends > Holidays > Groups and more

DATE

9/8/13 9/9/13 9/10/13 9/11/13

9/12/13 Daf HaYomi Schedule presented by Dirshu 9/13/13

тЙа

DATE 9/14/13

9/15/13 9/8/13 9/16/13 9/9/13 9/17/13 9/10/13 9/18/13 9/11/13 9/19/13 9/12/13 9/20/13 9/13/13

тЙа

-

DATE 9/21/13 9/14/13

99/15/13 /22/13 99/16/13 /23/13 99/17/13 /24/13 99/18/13 /25/13

тАл╫в╫и╫С ╫б╫Х╫Ы╫Х╫ктАм

99/19/13 /26/13

SEPTEMBER 6, 2013

99/20/13 /27/13 99/21/13 /28/13

тАл╫Щ╫УтАШ ╫к╫й╫и╫Щ ╫к╫й╫втАЭ╫УтАм тАл╫Ф╫У╫Ь╫з╫ктАм тАл╫а╫и╫Х╫ктАм

тАл╫Т╫итАЭ╫РтАм

9/29/13 9/30/13

тАл╫итАЭ╫ктАм

ANTWERP

7:31 8:35 8:57

BALTIMORE

6:51 7:47 8:19

BOSTON

6:30 7:27 7:57

BROOKLYN

6:41 7:37 8:08

CHICAGO

6:34 7:33 8:03

DALLAS

7:10 8:03 8:39

DEAL

6:41 7:37 8:09

DETROIT

7:18 8:15 8:45

JERUSALEM

6:05 7:16 7:57

10/1/13 10/2/13 10/3/13 10/4/13 10/5/13

JOHANNESBURG 5:44 6:38 7:15 LAKEWOOD

6:42 7:38 8:09

LONDON

6:52 7:53 8:16

LOS ANGELES

6:36 7:30 8:04

MANCHESTER

6:59 8:05 8:25

MELBOURNE

5:54 6:54 7:27

MIAMI

7:03 7:54 8:32

MONSEY

6:41 7:38 8:09

MONTREAL

6:41 7:40 8:08

PARIS

7:39 8:40 9:05

PASSAIC

6:42 7:38 8:09

PHILADELPHIA

6:45 7:41 8:13

TEANECK

6:41 7:37 8:09

TEL AVIV TORONTO

6:20 7:18 7:54

7:03 8:01 8:31

WASHINGTON, DC 6:53 7:48 8:20 ZURICH

7:13 8:14 8:40

Smile:)

WEтАЩVE GOT YOUR BACK!

www.focuscamera.com

CUSTOMER SERVICE

718.431.7900

895 Mcdonald Avenue

Brooklyn, New York 11218

Not Just

fronet.co.il

Exclusive It’s an entire neighborhood with only 190 residents!

That’s quadruple the space!

Not Just

Green

It’s 17,000 meters of trees, greenery and playground areas.

That’s triple the green!

Not Just

Location

It’s right at the center of Geula and Romema, yet the most secluded estate around.

That’s the best of everything!

Merom Yerushalayim Schneller

More THAN JUST ANOTHER PROJECT www.meromyerushalayim.com ‫ניצני טל‬

‫המועצה לשימור‬

‫צמרת העיר‬

Sun Chen Exclusive Realtors sales@sun-chen.co.il | USA: +1-718-732-3609 | 074-7333733

LETTERS EXECUTIVE CHIEF EXECUTIVE OFFICER

Rabbi Yitzchok Frankfurter

CHAIRMAN OF THE BOARD

Chesky Kauftheil

A HIRSCHIAN LEGACY—IN LUBAVITCH The Rebbes’ secretaries prove a point In reference to “Editorial,” Issue 134

EDITORIAL EDITOR IN CHIEF

Rabbi Yitzchok Frankfurter SENIOR EDITOR

Rechy Frankfurter MANAGING EDITOR

Yossi Krausz

RABBINIC EDITOR

Rabbi Moshe Taub CONTRIBUTORS

Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky Nesanel Gantz • John Loftus • Shmuel Sokol Maurice Stein • Rabbi Shais Taub • Turx Yedida Wolfe FEATURE EDITOR

Yitta Halberstam Mandelbaum FOOD EDITORS

Victoria Dwek • Leah Schapira EDITORIAL COORDINATOR

Toby Worch

COPY EDITORS

Basha Majerczyk Dina Schreiber Rabbi Yisroel Benedek ART ART DIRECTORS

David Kniazuk Alex Katalkin

ADVERTISING EXECUTIVE ACCOUNT MANAGER

Dear Editor: In connection with your fascinating and t h o u g h t - p ro v o k i n g editorial in the 22 Elul issue, “Modern Orthodoxy vs. Hirschian Ideology,” I would like to share the following, which will add to your point that the Hirschian world view is closer to the chareidi than to the Modern Orthodox: My father, Rabbi Nissan Mindel, ob”m, was a student in the Yeshivah Torah Im Derech Eretz in Riga, Latvia, in the late 1920s (class photo). His rosh yeshivah was Rabbi Yoel Barantchik (photo) and his principal was Rabbi Chaim Isaac Mordechai Chodakov (center of class photo).

Both Rabbi Mindel and Rabbi Chodakov went on to become the personal secretaries of the Chabad Rebbes—Rabbi Yosef Yitzchak Schneerson and his successor, Rabbi Menachem Mendel Schneerson—whom they served from the late 1930s until the mid1990s in their respective capacities.

Those familiar with Rabbi Mindel and Rabbi Chodakov and their life of service for authentic Torah Judaism have no doubt where the Hirschian ideology stands in the spectrum of Orthodoxy.

Rabbi Mindel was not fond of labels. He appreciated his fellow Jew for his holy neshamah and saw each one in a favorable light.

Best wishes for a good and sweet year of 5774.

Zack Blumenfeld

EXECUTIVE SALES DIRECTORS

Surie Katz Esther Friedman

EUROPE/ISRAEL ADVERTISING DIRECTOR

Sarah Margulies

ADVERTISING COORDINATOR

Malky Friedman

Ami Magazine P: 718.534.8800 F: 718.484.7731 info@amimagazine.org Ami Magazine. Published by Mezoogmag LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction in whole or in part in any form without prior written permission from the publisher is prohibited. The publisher reserves the right to edit all articles for clarity, space, and editorial sensitivities. Ami Magazine assumes no responsibility for the content of articles or advertisements in the publication, nor for the contents of books that are referred to or excerpted herein.

Mrs. Frida Schapiro

LETTERS DISPUTING THE CHAREIDI-HIRSCH CONNECTION

RABBI YITZCHOK FRANKFURTER

Modern Orthodoxy vs. Hirschian Ideology

T

Comparing apples and kiwis In reference to “Editorial,” Issue 134

Dear Editor: I was pleased to see the Hirschian ideology discussed in a recent editorial in your magazine. It is an ideology that is extremely relevant to today’s modern times and a topic that I hope continues to be discussed. I have been fortunate to have spent decades studying Rav Hirsch’s ideology through reading his works and speaking with Rav Yosef Breuer’s (Rav Hirsch’s grandson) children and disciples across the globe. While I would agree that Rav Hirsch’s ideology does not have an affiliation with Zionism, women’s rights, and synthesis of Torah and general studies, there are still several points made in the article that I believe are fundamentally incorrect.

The article states that [the “philosophical distinctions]...have rendered [the] Hirschian worldview closer to [the] chareidi perspective than Modern Orthodoxy’s.”

This statement as well as other statements made in the article imply that there is a continuum from Modern Orthodoxy to chareidi where the Hirschian worldview falls somewhere in between. How much closer is the Hirschian worldview to Modern Orthodoxy, versus chareidi, was the focus of the article. It is an error, however, to put these three worldviews on a contin-

uum. These three worldviews are distinct and unique.

For example, many have argued that following a Hirschian worldview is a bigger chumrah (stringency) and more difficult than following a chareidi worldview. That is to say, some would argue that someone who deeply devotes his life to Torah and at the same time embraces secular knowledge and society while not compromising an iota of his/her Torah values is more difficult and a bigger chumrah than a follower of a chareidi worldview. Consequently putting all three worldviews on a continuum would be like putting apples, kiwis and oranges on a continuum. It simply does not work.

The editor also stated that the chareidi world has embraced Hirsch and his community. I’m not sure what the editor is referring to. How many chareidi schools teach Rav Hirsch’s writings? Better yet, how many chareidi schools have Rav Hirsch’s writings in their beis midrash? I have heard people use the term “Torah u’parnasah” to describe a worldview where one is allowed to be part of the secular world and study secular studies as a means and a necessity of making a living. Perhaps this is the worldview that the author was referring to that the chareidi world embraces.

However, that is significantly different

he “chareidization” of Modern Orthodoxy has triggered an interesting development. Or to express it more succinctly, Modern Orthodoxy’s chareidization has triggered an interesting counter-development.

As the distinction between the ideological right of the Modern Orthodox movement and the chareidi community has blurred in recent years, adherents on the ideological left have become more outspoken in their criticism of the chareidi way of life. Tragically, a few have even joined the secular assault on some of Judaism’s most cherished values. Rabbi Jonathan Sacks’ recent derogatory statements about chareidi Jews, as well as the RCA’s invitation of a Yesh Atid member to speak at its annual convention, are just several cases in point of this unfortunate growing trend.

One authority who is frequently invoked by the burgeoning Modern Orthodox reformist camp is Rav Shamshon Raphael Hirsch, zt”l. Modern Orthodox scholars have always maintained that their perspective is in sync with Rav Hirsch’s worldview of combining Torah with secular knowledge. In fact, they insist that their ideology is rooted in Rav Hirsch’s teachings, particularly his maxim of “Torah im derech eretz.”

However, this supposed linkage between Rav Hirsch and Modern Orthodoxy, as repeatedly referenced in recent attacks on the chareidi world, was long ago challenged. Hirsch’s followers have argued that Hirschian philosophy is in fact at odds with that of Modern Orthodoxy.

Rav Shimon Schwab, zt”l, the esteemed rav of the Hirsch kehillah in New York from 1980 through 1993, once denounced the Modern Orthodox claim of kinship with Hirsch as follows: “What is happening today makes me weep, literally. Of late, Hirsch has become the property of the left-of-center ‘Modern Orthodox’ movement. They have changed the image of Hirsch from that of a vigorous fighter for Toras Emes into that of a docile, dove-like apologist for a watered-down version of convenient Judaism.”

Modern Orthodoxy, as Rav Schwab and other Hirsch scholars have explained, diverged from Rav Hirsch’s teachings in many ways. Hirsch rejected a parallelism and the idea of a synthesis between Torah and the general sciences, whereas Modern Orthodoxy espoused them. And while Hirsch insisted upon separating from secular movements, Modern Orthodoxy is characterized by its affiliation with Zionism.

These philosophical distinctions, among others, while subtle, have rendered the Hirschian worldview closer to the chareidi perspective than Modern Orthodoxy’s. This is true despite the fact that the chareidi world remains vehemently opposed to Hirsch’s concept of Torah im derech eretz, and champions a Torah-only education.

Rav Schwab insisted that the Torah-only and Torah im derech eretz communities can coexist side by side in ideological harmony. This has proven to be true not only in theory but also in practice. The chareidi world, while distancing itself from the Modern Orthodox movement, has embraced Hirsch and his community.

In truth, Rav Hirsch was not merely welcomed by the chareidi world, but in effect influenced every sector of it. Agudath Israel is but a direct outgrowth of Rav Hirsch’s Freie Vereinigung. That organization, which Rav Hirsch founded in 1886 to unite the chareidi communities of Germany, later evolved into the Agudah movement. The Bais Yaakov schools are also a result of Hirsch’s outlook and actions, Sarah Schenirer having been inspired by his writings. Indeed, the school she founded was based upon the model of Rav Hirsch’s school in Frankfurt, going so far as to institute the same curriculum he established.

As one of the primary ideologues and architects of German and Hungarian Orthodoxy’s secession from the Reform movement, Hirsch’s influence on the chareidi world is even deeper and more far-reaching.

The Imrei Emes of Ger, zt”l, is quoted as saying, “When I arrive at the Heavenly beis din and they ask me, ‘What did you achieve in your lifetime in the world?’ I will answer, ‘Agudas Yisrael, the Yesodei Hatorah Talmud Torah, and the Bais Yaakov schools!’” Ironically, two out of the three achievements cited by this chasidic leader as his greatest accomplishments are directly linked to Rav Hirsch: Agudath Israel and Bais Yaakov.

It is noteworthy that Rav Shimon Schwab related that the Imrei Emes once told him that “the tzaddik of Frankfurt [Rav Hirsch] was a leibidige mussar sefer [a living morality text].”

The Gerrer Rebbe’s reverence for Rav Hirsch, as well as the respect Rav Hirsch garnered from countless other gedolim, should come as no surprise.

That this venerated savior of Torah and Yiddishkeit from the clutches of the Reform should now be claimed by the reformists as belonging to them, is one of the ironies of history.

from “Torah im derech eretz” where secular knowledge, while not synthesized with the Torah, is sought after and embraced.

While the issues I raise may seem nuanced, I believe they are significant and important.

Yosef Breuer Baltimore, MD

AMI MAGAZINE 1575 50th St., Brooklyn, NY 11219 letters@amimagazine.org Phone: (718) 534-8800 Fax: (718) 484-7731

A Proud History of Success

800-624-8888 46 A M I M A G A Z I NNEW E / / S EYORK P T E M B E|R PHILADELPHIA 15, 2013 // 11 TISHR I 5774 |E LAKEWOOD

•

12 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / A U G U S T 2 8 , 2 0 1 3 / / 2 2 E L U L 5 7 7 3

InjuryLawyer.com | HACKENSACK | CHERRY HILL

The Taste Says Wait Six Hours, The Ingredients Say Enjoy After Steak!

For more Klein's "Smooth & Creamy" recipe ideas see: Ami - Whisk #135, Binah - Relish #348, Mishpacha - Family Recipes #355

The “Cream Of The Crop” In Non Dairy Ice Cream

fronet.co.il

Your preferred Choice for Asset Management

LETTERS RECONSIDERING AN OLD WEDDING DRESS

THE MAN IN THE MAASEH

Two aspects of a museum

A talmid comments

In reference to “Our Journey,” Issue 132

In reference to “In the Realm of the Serene,” Issue 135

Dear Editor: Dear Editor: Rabbi Sholom Friedmann’s column in the Ami issue of August 14, 2013, was an eye-opener for me. I always thought that people donate items to museums to “teach” history. However, I never realized that there is an equally important aspect to “preserve” history.

Suddenly, I find myself viewing the keepsakes in my house differently. Perhaps it’s not a good idea that my mother’s 67-year-old wedding dress is suspended in a plastic covering on a hanger in my basement. No doubt a museum can better care for my grandfather’s mementos from his time as a World War I veteran.

As a fourth generation American, I don’t have any Holocaust-related items to donate to the Kleinman Family Holocaust Education Center, but Rabbi Friedmann has definitely made me pause to consider what I must do to preserve that which I do have.

Swiss Asset Management for personalized service

Swiss Banking

for maximum integrity

Swiss Banking

the most stable international financial market

SEC Registered and SRO/Finma regulated

Eliyahu Anahory

Sol T. New Jersey

We offer you a full array of financial services customized to suit your needs.

KUDOS TO RABBI MOSHE TAUB Thanks for the special topics

In reference to “The Shul Chronicles,” Issue 133

Special Services for US persons

Dear Rabbi Taub:

Account openings Investment management Tax filing assistance

We speak English , Hebrew and Yidd ish

.

+ 41 (0)44 462 40 40 Beck Asset Management Ltd. Birmensdorferstrasse 123 8003 Zurich, Switzerland www.b-am.ch

I just wanted to tell you how much I thoroughly enjoyed the article about my mashgiach, Rav Chaim Walkin. I am who I am today thanks to Rav Chaim. His concern for the welfare of every talmid, his belief in every talmid’s capabilities, his ever-present smile, and his tranquility are his personal hallmarks. I have a tremendous zechus to share a special kesher with Rabbi Walkin, and I was the Gibraltarian bachur whom Rabbi Walkin took to Rav Chaim Kanievsky as featured in the article.

Kudos for a great publication.

I enjoyed reading your weekly column this week, in addition to the special cigarette article, as I enjoy reading your column whenever I happen to have Ami in the house.

(When I found out that an old chavrusa of mine, Oren Wachstock, lived in Buffalo, I sent him with the message that I enjoyed the column.)

As per your “request” to find the Igros Moshe, I believe it is Yoreh De’ah 3:71.

Thank you again for your writings. In addition to general da’as Torah and interesting stories, I have especially enjoyed the few pieces (including this week’s) written about addiction, psychology, and the role of the rabbi. As a musmach and graduate student of psychology, I have a special interest in those topics.

Wishing you kesivah va’chasimah tovah, Avi Muschel

NEW NG ENDI S U N +BO S! E G A P

HOT OFF !

THE PRESS from

DIAMOND DUST

Riva Pomerantz Yalli Shapiro hungers for A New Chapter in something more than her parents’ Quality Jewish Reading frugal lifestyle, and no one is quite sure why. As she enters shidduchim, Yalli is bent on propelling herself towards a diamond-studded future. But can she defeat her childhood demons before Chaya Sara they overwhelm her?

Lefkowitz

Tzvi Kirsch’s past haunts him as he resists the best names the shadchanim can offer. The only girl he’s interested in is the one his mother — and sister — have firmly vetoed. Is he truly equipped to deal with her harrowing challenges?

Broken MIRRORS

Peri Berger

The Tefillah Revolution

There’s a revolution going on and it’s not blaring in the streets. It’s in the quiet and heartfelt tefillah with kavanah that is transforming our world, one prayer at a time. Join the revolution and transform the way you daven forever. “…Studying this sefer will cause one to appreciate what one is saying and praying, thereby bringing about greater acceptance of the prayer not only for oneself but for all of klal Yisrael.”

— HaRav Meir Horowitz, shlita, 3rd !

Bostoner Rebbe of Har Nof Print

Which Jewish mother would consider putting her baby up for adoption? In this complex tale by well-known writer Peri Berger, shattered lives are pulled together by an invisible thread of determination, love, and hope.

Rabbi Michoel Fletcher

DO YOU KNOW HILCHOS

SHABBOS?

This excellent sefer of questions and answers is presented in a clear, engaging way, sure to keep the whole family entertained over the Shabbos table.

dancing

IN THE

DARK

Shoshana Mael

“A Shabbos table needs to be warm, productive,and fun-filled. This sefer will help you achieve this.”

—Rav Dovid Kaplan, author of the Impact! series

To outsiders, Rikki Coleman is a model student, co-dance head for the upcoming school production, a fun-loving friend. But on the inside, Rikki and her sister Daniella are struggling to cope with their desperate home situation, which they must keep hidden at all costs.

Rabbi Moshe Walter

What constitutes a halachic decision?

How do we arrive at each conclusion? Why is the process so complex? In this groundbreaking work, your questions on the halachic process will be acknowledged and examined, ultimately resulting in a deeper appreciation of this area of Torah.

The Making of a HALACHIC DECISION

AVAILABLE AT YOUR LOCAL JUDAICA STORE OR AT:

1-855-MENUCHA www.menuchapublishers.com

PROUD DISTRIBUTOR OF:

AVAILABLE AT YOUR LOCAL JUDAICA STORE OR AT: 1-855-MENUCHA

Proud distributors of Judaica & gifts for everything from family to fun.

www.menuchapublishers.com

!‫חג שמח‬

NEWS

NATIONAL AND WORLD

A weekly look at the danger posed by Iran and radical Islam

Israel and Obama’s Push on Syria DOES WASHINGTON’S CONFUSION BODE BADLY FOR ITS ALLY?

Secretary of State Kerry

LAST WEEK, US President Barack Obama engaged in what looked like the sloppiest foreign policy reversal in recent memory, and according to some experts who spoke to Ami, Israel has reason to be concerned.

The administration had beaten the drums of war over the Syrian government’s apparent use of chemical weapons against civilians. Then Obama stepped back from the precipice to ask Congress for permission to pound the Assad regime with missiles. As Secretary of State John Kerry and other officials tried to make the case for strikes on Syria, it became clear that neither Congress nor the American public was interested in the conflict.

Then Kerry made a comment, apparently offhand, to answer a British reporter’s question about what Assad could do to stave off an American attack. “Sure, he could turn over every single bit of his chemical weapons to the international community in the next week—turn it over, all of it without delay and allow the full and total accounting (of it), but he isn’t about to

President Obama

do it and it can’t be done.”

Russian President Vladimir Putin thought differently. His foreign minister, Sergey Lavrov, responded that Russia would “immediately” get to work on the suggestion. Not long after, Assad said that he would be willing to comply, to avoid a hail of Tomahawk missiles. And that led to Obama’s request to Congress, in his speech last Tuesday night, to suspend a vote on attacking Syria until after the Russian plan could be worked on.

Professor Amos N. Guiora is a professor of law and co-director of the Center for Global Justice at the S.J. Quinney College of Law at the University of Utah. A retired lieutenant colonel in the IDF, Professor Guiora is an expert in counterterrorism, international security and law, and the Middle East.

He says that it’s clear that the president has been outmaneuvered by the Russians and Syrians.

“Last Friday, Secretary of State Kerry says what he says. On Sunday, the White House

52 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

President Putin

adviser, speaking to the New York Times, defines the secretary of state as a fool. Then on Monday, the president explained the diplomatic solution as the result of his conversations with Putin—which strikes me as spin.

“The president was clearly unable to convince the other nations at the G20. He was clearly unable to convince Congress. He was clearly unable to convince the American people.

And Putin offered him a pretty handy ladder to come down.

“Putin didn’t offer him the ladder in order to save America. What’s motivating him is the repositioning and re-strengthening of Russia.

“The irony of ironies is that Russia is this faded empire, with enormous problems with social issues and a dying economy, and overnight they have become a dominant player in the Middle East. In the context of Machiavellian, brute strength politics, which Putin clearly understands, he absolutely outmaneuvered the president of the United States.”

Professor Chuck Freilich is a senior fellow in

BY YOSSI KRAUSZ

the International Security Program at the Harvard Kennedy School’s Belfer Center for Science and International Affairs. He previously served as a deputy national security adviser in Israel.

Freilich says that he sees the present situation as better for Israel in a security sense than a military attack would have been.

“If—and I emphasize it is a very big if—the Russian proposal is actually implemented, it’s actually a very good outcome, because a military attack wouldn’t have achieved the same results. The objective here isn’t to attack; it isn’t to punish Syria. It’s to do something about Syria’s chemical capabilities, and that wouldn’t have happened through a military attack.”

But he says that on a political front, the Obama administration’s Syria policy has been a disturbing one for Israel.

“The problem from Israel’s perspective is the process. I think the American decision-making process and the way the president handled everything was very bad. The fact that this proposal ended up becoming a Russian proposal…it should have been an American one from day one.

“Call it coercive diplomacy, a time-honored tradition. Instead of immediately calling for an attack, Obama should have said, ‘Either dismantle or then we attack.’ I think there’s a lot of concern in Israel about the decision-making here and what it means for Obama’s future tackling the Iranian issue.”

Professor Guiora said: “The present president of the United States, who views himself as a great defender of individual rights and human rights, turned a blind eye to the suffering of the Syrian people while the Syrian government was massacring them. What complicates that, of course, is that the rebels are an awful group.

“But until the chemical attacks, former Secretary of State Clinton did nothing more than issue empty, irritating mantras of encouraging both sides to cease their use of weapons.

That’s what this administration did: issue totally empty platitudes.

“Second, last week the president misspoke.

He said, ‘The world drew a red line.’ That’s incorrect. The only person who drew a red line was the president of the United States.

“What I think is disconcerting is how the elephant in the room, i.e. Iran, will perceive the president—at least as of now—based on his

A Syrian boy plays with a destroyed army tank in the northern Syrian town of Azaz.

failure to enforce the red line he drew. I have no doubt that the mullahs, whom I’m convinced sit and tea-leaf-read every word of the president, are saying to themselves, ‘This is really interesting. He made all this noise, and, as of now, nothing.’ And they also see that he didn’t convince the world.”

Was there Israeli concern about a retributive attack from Syria if the US strikes occurred, as the Syrians had threatened?

Professor Freilich said: “I don’t know of a single analyst in Israel—and I follow this issue closely—who thought there was anything beyond a truly minimal chance that Syria or Hezbollah would respond against us. I share that analysis.

“I think the Israeli concern about Syrian chemical weapons was on two levels. One was simply that Syria has a chemical arsenal that can be used. Though I think there is a very low probability that they would use it, that doesn’t mean zero [probability]. The other thing is that Israel is very concerned about WMDs in the region. How the international community and the US deal with the Syrian issue is a model that we can look at to know how they’ll deal with other cases.” ‘Other cases,’ of course, includes Iran’s nukes.

“The lack of American resolve, the zigzags, what was clearly an almost desperate attempt to avoid the military route—all of that is very worrisome for Israel.”

Professor Guiora said that the Israelis have

managed the Syrian civil war well.

“I don’t think that Syria is an Israeli issue at all. It’s a global issue.

“I think that the prime minister’s absolutely enforced silence for himself and for his cabinet was exactly the right thing to do. If he or his cabinet members would have weighed in publicly and vocally, it would have focused a laser on Israel, which is exactly what should not happen. Obama’s efforts would have failed right away.”

Professor Freilich says that Israel was able to stay out of Syrian politics—until Obama’s push for a military strike.

“I think Israel has really done everything it could to stay out of this thing. This is one of the rare cases where the Israeli leadership managed to shut up.

“That’s one of the other unintended consequences of the way the president mishandled this. He told Israel to put pressure on AIPAC to get involved [in the political push for the military strike]. Israel was left holding the bag, because Israel asked AIPAC to go and fight for an attack, and then, a day later, Obama goes and takes it off the table, basically.

“I think Obama told them, ‘This is the time to show your friendship,’ and they had little choice. In the end, it comes out looking pretty poor.

“I’ll tell you, I think the president made Kerry look like a bit of a fool here. He sends him out to battle, announces with great fanfare how

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

53

NEWS

BY YOSSI KRAUSZ

NATIONAL AND WORLD

LIFE IN NUMBERS

Those American Gluttons—Or Are They?

Consumption in Jewish communities around the world follows a set pattern. The best food and drink is saved for Shabbos. Meat and wine make a particular appearance on Yom Tov, as they will during Sukkos.

But in other communities, there is less of a framework. And some countries, as a whole, have reputations for indulgence. With the idea of America as an obese nation making news around the world, it might be hard to imagine that any other countries could

match the US obsession with buying and eating.

But a recent analysis by the Huffington Post of available data found that that’s not actually true. They listed 18 countries that spend more than the US on eating at home, at restaurants, and on drinking and smoking. Their analysis also showed that the higher dollar amount of consumption wasn’t just due to higher prices.

So while Americans’ waistlines may be expanding, it’s not just because they’re eating the most.

CONSUMPTION IN 2012, PER PERSON

USA Belgium Spain Japan Total: $4432 Total: $5068 Total: $5160 Total: $5665 Food at home: $2274 Restaurant food: $1485 Tobacco and alcohol: $673

Food at home: $3075 Restaurant food: $942 Tobacco and alcohol: $1051

Food at home: $2483 Restaurant food: $2148 Tobacco and alcohol: $529

Food at home: $3193 Restaurant food: $1513 Tobacco and alcohol: $959

Denmark Austria Australia UK Total: $4532 Total: $4941 Total: $5239 Total: $7276 Food at home: $2213 Restaurant food: $1405 Tobacco and alcohol: $914

Food at home: $3036 Restaurant food: $854 Tobacco and alcohol: $1051

Food at home: $2617 Restaurant food: $1774 Tobacco and alcohol: $848

Food at home: $3814 Restaurant food: $2131 Tobacco and alcohol: $1331

Italy Finland Norway Greece Total: $4629 Total: $5037 Total: $5351 Total: $7623 Food at home: $2740 Restaurant food: $1158 Tobacco and alcohol: $731

Food at home: $2892 Restaurant food: $1584 Tobacco and alcohol: $561

Food at home: $3001 Restaurant food: $1168 Tobacco and alcohol: $1182

Food at home: $4885 Restaurant food: $1151 Tobacco and alcohol: $1587

Canada New Zealand Switzerland Ireland Total: $4665 Total: $5076 Total: $5656 Total: $8025 Food at home: $2037 Restaurant food: $1553 Tobacco and alcohol: $1075

Food at home: $2679 Restaurant food: $1465 Tobacco and alcohol: $932

Food at home: $3284 Restaurant food: $1701 Tobacco and alcohol: $671

Hong Kong Sweden France Total: $4761 Total: $5128 Total: $5666 Food at home: $3037 Restaurant food: $964 Tobacco and alcohol: $760

Food at home: $3224 Restaurant food: $1671 Tobacco and alcohol: $233

54 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

Food at home: $3193 Restaurant food: $959 Tobacco and alcohol: $1514

Food at home: $4943 Restaurant food: $1501 Tobacco and alcohol: $1581

NEWS

NATIONAL AND WORLD

U P D AT E S New Info on Stories We’ve Run

This past year, both candidates in the recent Democratic primary for Brooklyn district attorney appeared in lengthy interviews in Ami’s pages. The primary is over, and former federal prosecutor Kenneth Thompson trounced incumbent Charles Hynes, winning 55 percent of the vote to Hynes’ 44 percent. Though Hynes is technically registered as the Republican and Conservative candidate for the general election, he has announced that he will not run. Hynes served for 23 years as Brooklyn’s district attorney. He is the first incumbent Brooklyn district attorney to be voted out of office since 1911.

A recent Life in Numbers looked at incarceration rates around the world, noting that the US has an extremely great lead in prisoners per capita. That large population has led to the rise of the American for-profit prison industry, which prisoner advocates accuse of being responsible for poor conditions and protections for people serving time. California was recently ordered by the Supreme Court to reduce overcrowding in its prisons. Rather than releasing prisoners or looking for rehabilitation methods, Governor Jerry Brown announced that 10,000 prisoners would be transferred from state facilities into private prisons, including some out of the state. American industry is alive and well, it seems.

We’ve covered both the halachic response and government reaction to 9/11 in the magazine. In time for the 12th anniversary of the attacks, a new book has been released about the person who was the first victim of the hijackers. Danny Lewin, who had been an officer in the Sayeret Matkal unit of the IDF and went on to found important Internet tech company Akamai, was stabbed when he apparently attempted to stop the hijacking of American Airlines flight 11. The flight hit the North Tower of the World Trade Center about 30 minutes later.

Dear me. This Snowden leak is finally shocking. The Guardian revealed last week that though the National Security Agency is legally not allowed to monitor American communications that don’t involve a foreign national, it has regularly given foreign countries, including Israel, raw metadata on phone calls that included American-toAmerican communications. The metadata came along with a warning to delete any communications by American government officials. Why are foreign countries being given that kind of information? The NSA claims that it’s not spying on Americans. Information from a Freedom of Information Act request, released to the Washington Post last week, shows that it had been looking at Americans at least until 2009, when the Justice Department savaged the NSA’s method of reporting to the national security court designed to deal with NSA spying. But if the NSA is giving out American information to the rest of the world, it may be moot whether it is doing that spying itself.

Right now, Yeshivas Mir Yerushalayim has a rare opportunity to earn

$ ,

,

SIX MILLION DOLLARS through its Alumni and their Parents.

Every dollar donated by an alumnus or a parent of an alumnus who has not had the opportunity to contribute to the yeshiva over the past two years (since July 1, 2011), will be matched by a senior alumnus.

YOUR DOLLAR IS NOW WORTH DOUBLE! $360

$720

ARTECH 732.961.3091

YOU $540 $1,080 WE WILL $720 $1,440 DONATE $1,000 $2,000 RECEIVE THIS $1,800 $3,600 THIS AMOUNT $3,600 $7,200 AMOUNT

!!

$5,000

$10,000

Only 43 days left.

You can make it happen.

To respond, please contact Yeshivas Mir Yerushalayim today!

718.972.0500 double@themir.org YESHIVAS MIR YERUSHALAYIM . 5227 NEW UTRECHT AVENUE . BROOKLYN, NY 11219 . P: 718-972-0500 . F: 718-851-1999 . E: INFO@THEMIR.ORG

IN THE NEWS

BY TURX

The Unbelievably Small Article

G

AS INSPIRED BY THE FEAR INSPIRED BY JOHN KERRY

et used to it, folks. Secretary of State John Kerry has been for a whole bunch of stuff before he was against them. He was for the Vietnam War before he was against it; he was for the Iraq War before he was against it; he was for tuna casserole before he was against it, etc. And now he’s eager for a new war against Syria and that’s fine. The problem? Signs are showing that he’s pretty eager to be against that war too.

A few days ago, Kerry backpedaled on this whole war thing (not dissimilar to the time photo evidence showed him backing away in the yacht he had sworn he hadn’t been on) and wants us to know that he’s very close to being against the war if that’s the only way he can get the war launched to begin with.

Speaking at a press conference in London, the Secretary of State said, “We’re not talking about war. We’re not going to war…we will be able to hold Bashar Assad accountable…in a very limited, very targeted, very short-term effort.” He then went on to describe it as an “unbelievably small, limited kind of effort.”

Oooh…the intimidation! It turns out bigger isn’t always better. The first thing to go through my mind when I heard this was the palm of my hand. The next thing to go through my mind was the thought of the unbelievably small odds the Titanic had of sinking when it struck that unbelievably small iceberg (in middle of the unbelievably small Atlantic Ocean).

Senator McCain (who recently lost an unbelievably small amount of fake money playing poker during Senate hearings) called Kerry’s comments “unbelievably unhelpful.” Michelle Malkin called it “unbelievably incompetent.”

This begs the question of just how unbelievably small Kerry is planning the war to be. It’s definitely smaller than the drone strikes that have killed thousands of people around the world, because for something as big as that the Administration needs no prior approval from Congress.

So just how unbelievably small? As unbelievably small as the population of Detroit? As unbelievably small as the number of fulltime jobs created over the past five years? As unbelievably small as the number of people who support Obamacare? How about the unbelievably small number of people who voted for Obama 58 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

because they wanted more war and more government surveillance?

Or perhaps as unbelievably small as the number of people who support war with (and also against) Syria in the first place?

And anyway, is there a difference between “believably small” and “unbelievably small”? I suppose I can break it down…

Believably Small = plastic soldiers Unbelievably Small = plastic soldiers without the plastic guns Believably Small = no boots on the ground Unbelievably Small = Crocs on the ground, maybe Believably Small = vintage tanks from the WWI era Unbelievably Small = no fish to drive those tanks I think “unbelievably small” would be a good way to describe the amount of foreign policy experience this Administration has. I shudder to think what previous generations would have thought of all this.

“Mister Gorbachev, tear down this unbelievably small wall!”— Ronald Reagan “I have nothing to offer but an unbelievably small amount of blood, toil, tears and sweat!”—Winston Churchill “Speak softly and carry an unbelievably small stick!”—Teddy Roosevelt “The only thing to fear is an unbelievably small amount of fear itself!”—Franklin D. Roosevelt “America is the big Satan and Israel is the unbelievably small Satan!”—Mohamed Morsi “That’s one small step for man; one unbelievably small step for mankind!”—Neil Armstrong “I get an unbelievably small tingle when I think of Obama these days!”—Chris Matthews “If you have a business…you didn’t build that! You only built an unbelievably small part of it!”—Barack Obama If it were up to Kerry we’d just chuck a cherry bomb within earshot of one of Assad’s German shepherds and call it a day.

Another option would be to do nothing and claim that the attack was so unbelievably small that we all missed it.

Sigh…this would all be hilarious…if it weren’t so downright frightening…

•

Montefiore Medical Center is recognized among the nation’s top hospitals. For more than 2 years, Solomon Rosenberg has introduced you to Montefiore’s outstanding care and amenities. And your community has adopted Montefiore as a preferred healthcare provider with more members seeking medical treatment here than ever before. Your neighbor is coming to Montefiore…have you tried us?

Our Centers of Excellence: Montefiore Einstein Center for Heart and Vascular Care: Montefiore Einstein Center for Heart and Vascular Care is known for its innovation and clinical excellence, offering novel treatments for the most complex cases and advancing the field of cardiovascular care through pioneering research. Directed by internationally acclaimed experts, the Center offers a range of services including cardiac imaging, interventional cardiology, arrhythmia services and the most advanced surgical care for valve repair, aneurysms and heart failure.

The Children’s Hospital at Montefiore: The Children’s Hospital at Montefiore is ranked among the nation’s leading institutions by U.S. News & World Report and among the top 20 in pediatric research funding. CHAM delivers world class care in a family centered environment that harnesses the power of medical expertise, scientific discovery and compassionate care to ensure outstanding results for children.

Ranked among the nation’s Top 50 hospitals in Adult and Pediatric Diabetes & Endocrinology, Pediatric Neurology & Neurosurgery, Orthopedics and Nephrology, and recognized as high-performing in 12 additional specialties.

Montefiore Einstein Center for Cancer Care: Partnered with the National Cancer Institute–designated Albert Einstein Cancer Center, the Center for Cancer Care offers advanced treatments, including minimally invasive and robotic surgeries, and is the first facility in the Northeast to offer three types of “regional” chemotherapy treatments.

Montefiore Einstein Center for Transplantation: Led by world-class specialists, the Center includes renowned programs in kidney, liver, heart and abdominal transplant with patient outcomes among the best in the country, including 100 percent one year survival rates for pediatric kidney and heart transplants.

To learn more or for assistance scheduling an appointment, call Solomon Rosenberg, Program Director at 917-744-5005.

www.montefiore.org

Ben Rosen

Sightings&Citings Synopses of, and excerpts from, interesting items that have recently appeared here and there —and sometimes way over there—in the media GUESS WHO’S COMING TO THE MEETING? Two opposing initialisms meet Mother Jones reported that members of the Casper, Wyoming branch of the NAACP met at the end of August with local Ku Klux Klan recruiter John Abarr, because of a number of recent racial incidents in Wyoming, including racially motivated assaults and the handing out of racist leaflets.

The meeting was not approved by the upper echelons of the NAACP. Rosemary Lytle, president of the NAACP Colorado Montana Wyoming State Conference, told the Casper Star Tribune that she had not given the meeting a “green light.” Anti-racist groups were incensed at the legitimization given to the KKK. Abarr hardly backed down from his racial views during the meeting, calling for a segregated police force, opposing interracial marriage and advoPlease, please, leave us out of this.

cating the complete separation of the races. But the Star Tribune reported that he at least acted shocked about hate crimes: “Beatings of black men in Gillette? Those are hate crimes, Abarr agrees. Something must be done. Talk to the police. His tone is clear: Who would think of doing such a thing?”

C an we have three guesses? Or just three letters?

eventually released, Mahmoud Hassib, the government manager of Egypt’s southern protected wilderness areas said that the bird was found dead two weeks ago on an island in the Nile. Hassib denied reports by an Egyptian wildlife organization that the bird had been partially eaten by villagers.

E gyptian counterintelligence is literally for the birds.

THE SPY WHO FLEW IN FROM THE COLD

Who wants a little dictator?

Intrigue in the wild The Associated Press reported that a stork that had previously been detained by Egyptian authorities, under suspicion of being a spy, has been found dead, under mysterious circumstances.

The stork had been detained by police in southern Egypt in August because of the European wildlife tracker it carried on its leg. Though it was

SCHOOL FOR ASSAD

The Times of Israel recently quoted Arabic media sources that say Asma Assad, the wife of Syrian president Bashar Assad, is looking for a foreign school for her son Hafez. The lad is being groomed as a successor to his father.

The Saudi news website Elaph said that the decision to move Hafez out of the country came after Asma “lost her friends during the recent crisis in Syria and especially in Turkey

DON’T FIRE UNTIL YOU SEE (FORGET ABOUT THE WHITES OF THEIR EYES) “It seems a little strange, but the way the law reads we can’t deny them (a permit) just based on that one thing.”

—Sgt. Jana Abens, a spokeswoman for the Polk County Sheriff’s Department, speaking to USA Today about 2011 Iowa laws that allow blind people to get gun permits.

Suggestion: Don’t read them the law.

and Qatar.”

The rebel paper Zaman AlWasl reported that Asma has applied to schools in Switzerland and the UK, but has so far been rejected by all of them.

And she shouldn’t even bother with yeshivos in Lakewood.

LIKE WE NEED A HOLE IN THE HEAD

“To know that right here in Egypt, you had moderate Muslims, you had Christians, you had Jews, you had secularists coming to the streets in millions and millions, historic numbers…”

—Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) in a Cairo speech, where he spoke together with Reps. Michele Bachmann (R-MN) and Steve King (R-IA) about the anti-Muslim-Brotherhood uprising, after meeting Egyptian General Al-Sisi; his comments were unexpected, to say the least, as there are no more than a few dozen Jews left in Egypt, where they face strong discrimination.

60 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

vehrntc ktrah ,sudt

AGUDATH ISRAEL OF AMERICA

ANNUAL CONVENTION

NEW DATE

T

he Agudah Convention is where Gedolei Torah and Manhigei Yisroel, together with talented, dedicated, thinking men and women, gather to examine critical issues of the day.

November 14-17, 2013 s”ga, ukxf sh-th

Due to Chanukah coinciding with Thanksgiving, this year's Convention will v’’ht take place November 14-17/11-14 Kislev, Shabbos Parshas Vayishlach.

NEW LOCATION Hilton Woodcliff Lake

T

he Convention will take place at The Hilton Woodcliff Lake, New Jersey, which is easily accessible from the entire NY/NJ Metropolitan area. It promises to be the perfect setting for an outstanding convention.

NE W I D E AS The Agudah Convention!

REGISTER BY OCTOBER 7 FOR A CHANCE TO WIN A FREE CONVENTION STAY!

HASHI HERZKA

AVRUMI HIRSCH

CONVENTION CHAIRMAN

CONVENTION CO-CHAIRMAN

RE S ERV E YO U R RO O M TO DAY! 212.797.7380 E M A IL : CONVENTION@AGUDATHISRAEL.ORG

74 years

Feldheim • Feldheim Judaica

Available at Jewish bookstores or at: feldheim. com • 1-800-237-7149 JERUSALEM OFFICE: 02-651-3947 • jmoffice@feldheim.com

1939-2013

Torah Literature of Quality

455 Rt. 306, Wesley Hills Plaza, Monsey

A Popular Bestseller in Hebrew Now Available in English!

What happens when the challenges of daily life are viewed through the eternal prism of Torah? Well, you’ll be surprised, shocked, and delighted to find out – as you travel through the captivating pages of Veha’arev Na. Based upon the shuirim of Rabbi Yitzchak Zilberstein and linked to every weekly parashah, this sefer tackles the complex issues that characterize Jewish life today. Fascinating, thought-provoking, and written in a style readers will find engaging, this is one Sefer Halachah you will devour from first page to last.

Eye-opening gems to share at the Shabbos table - every week this year!

Nothing compares to a powerful parable that immediately opens both mind and heart, as it lends new insight into every weekly parashah. Mashal Tov does precisely that! The author, a master Mechanech, has crafted a sefer that appeals to young and old alike, filled with precious, uplifting lessons that will not only transform your Shabbos table, but provide you with year-round learning that is exciting, enjoyable, and meaningful.

A Remarkable Woman!

The

Clara Hammer was a phenomenon: vibrant, creative, unafraid, and, most of all, a paragon of chesed. This book lovingly captures her remarkable energy, her drive to benefit others, and how for 30 years, beginning at age 70, she single handedly put a “chicken in every pot”.

Always Within

Be amazed, amused and inspired by Mrs. Hammer’s remarkable life and achievements.

Monumental

New Series

on Hilchos Shabbos!

Volume One of Rabbi Pesach Eliyahu Falk’s long-awaited, monumental series on Hilchos Shabbos is now available in a newly revised, greatly expanded, updated edition.

Rabbi Falk’s unique method of teaching Halacha, his distinct approach to clarifying the complexity of Hilchos Shabbos is evident on every page. Comprehensive, convenient, and highly-informative, Zachor V’Shamor is the one guide to Hilchos Shabbos you will want to have at your fingertips.

VoluMe oNe feaTureS: ® A fundamental overview of the 39 Melachos

® The conditions & rules that apply to all Melachos

® A comprehensive, practical study of Plowing, Sowing, Harvesting,

Gathering, Threshing, Winnowing, Selecting & Sorting, and Grinding ® A convenient & thorough, subject-related Index

® Extensive footnotes & source material in Hebrew on every page.

Ideal for home, shul, Beis Medrash, and Kolel, this exceptional educational tool, outstanding for learning or reference, makes the vast and intricate Halachos of Shabbos accessible to all.

Ultimate Battle is

Set in Hungary in the 19th Century, this is fact-based, historical fiction at its very best.

Over 150,000 cOpies sOld in Hebrew!

New by Rav Shimshon Pincus ‫ זצ”ל‬

iN ENgliSh! In this important book you will find a lifetime of learning, emunah, purity of heart, along with insights that will transform your approach to tefillah.

‫בס"ד‬

All photos are 100% from our jobs guaranteed

Dart Design | 845.782.6558

More of the impressive jobs done by our professional team

M SCAR ALE T

yourself Protect Learn More...

MONEY, R U O Y E T S A DON’T W DREAMS. D N A TIME stment! e tect your inv ro p to n o d Rea

ow when n k to d e e ts you nof your home: n i o p t n a t Imporling the interior design ing just remode buy mold er

ish n. The faux fidns his surfaces toto le Preparnaaltariotist painter) neerd er to be ab (professio the right way, In o ters ant. It mat d be prepare e design you really w ling, primer, ck bring out th in what way the spe d. y enormousl lking has been applie cau finish and e fooled.

b t yourserlftcuts!

Do not le o h s no There are

ok and be

n lo g. Molduinpgaincat them but the dafetesigr nit Moldin t yo re l befo ly differen mplete beautifu w can look co foresee ho and detail he faux finisher can d.

T lie . p is painted ter faux finish is ap af it will look

Bring your dreams to reality! we will advice you with the prefect designers & trimmers to suit your specific desires.

ng!

Don’t is appeali it e s u a c e b esigner, choose a d When you ch with the faux . n ig s tou De they are in make sure finisher.

h nd up wit You may e blueprint on l a beautifu ever it might w paper; ho le to create! sib s be impo

Wood Finishing

347.781.4062

JEWISHNEWS

Iranian Jews davening in Teheran

An Inside View from Iran A GROUP OF JEWS ON A SECRET TRIP TO ISRAEL TALK ABOUT THE JEWISH COMMUNITY, THEIR VIEWS ON ISRAEL, AND WHY WE SHOULD ALL THANK AHMADINAEJAD

A

few weeks ago, a number of Jews from Iran paid a clandestine visit to Israel. We met with them to get a picture of how the Jews living in Iran viewed their community’s situation under former president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad and how they see their community’s viability. Their answers were surprising— partially due to the seeming naiveté they exhibited.

We met in an apartment in the Kiryat Moshe neighborhood of Jerusalem where a few of the Iranians have been staying.

Their Hebrew vocabulary is very limited; Farsi is their mother tongue. This made

having a two-way conversation almost impossible, necessitating the services of an interpreter, himself an Iranian dissident, who pointed out subtle messages being transmitted through the words of the visitors.

To protect them and their families from the Iranian authorities, we cannot use their complete names.

Surprisingly, the Iranians began the conversation with their view of life in Israel, explaining why they choose to remain under a government that the world views as cruel.

“People who wish to emigrate must leave everything behind,” Yehoshua, one of the

64 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

Iranians, begins, “and moving to Israel is doubly hard, because parnassah is really tight. People in Israel aren’t happy; life is stale. I have relatives who are avreichim. I see how difficult they find life, especially in light of the recent financial government cut-backs targeting religious Jewry.”

Gavriel, another Iranian Jew, continues: “A while ago, two Jewish families tried to immigrate to Israel. The government wanted to settle them in Be’er Sheva.

They refused to go. They wanted to live in a more comfortable setting. Both these families are considered multi-millionaires in Iran, and in Israel they would have been nobodies living in some forlorn apartment

BY CHANANYA BLEICH

in Be’er Sheva.

“Why should we move? We have everything we could ever wish for in Iran: our own homes, money, large plots of land and more. Our currency is almost worthless here. One dollar is the equivalent of hundreds of Iranian rials, and for a dollar you can’t even buy a bag of milk in Israel.

There is no doubt that we’ll be reduced to poverty if we move here—it’s just not worth our while, not for us or anyone else.”

Nissim, the third member of the trio, says his daughter lives in Holon. “She’s lived in Israel for six years now, and she still finds life difficult."

The three did not arrive on a direct flight from Iran; there are, in fact, no direct flights.

“We came via Turkey, where the Israeli consulate helped us fly to Israel. They know not to stamp our passports with an Israeli stamp—they stamp a separate piece of paper instead. Being caught traveling to Israel is a crime that is deserving of the harshest of punishments,” says Gavriel.

Yehoshua adds his own insight. He believes that the Iranians are well aware that scores of Iranian Jews travel to Israel each year but that they prefer to turn a blind eye.

“Why else would masses of people go to Turkey for such long periods of time?

You might understand people vacationing in Turkey for a week or two, but so many people for so long?

“I believe that they know. Either way, this is how we travel to Israel and it’s the way we go back home.”

Our interpreter relates that in a quiet moment he proposed that they leave Iran and move to Israel.

“I told them that I love living in Israel.

It is our collective hope and our future; we have no other home. This is the Jewish homeland: Eretz Yisrael. In reply, they just reiterated that life is really difficult here, everything is so expensive and everyone is miserable. That is what the Jews in Iran think of those of us living here. That also explains why most of Iranian’s wealthy

Jews immigrate to Los Angeles rather than Israel. They believe that everyone is Israel spends their life crying, while in Los-Angeles there are opportunities, people earn a good living and the chances of success are far higher.”

“Why should I leave Iran?” Yehoshua asks rhetorically. “My home in Iran is palatial; I have everything I need. Moving to Israel means beginning from scratch.

Instead, we come and visit once a year and return home.”

Financial considerations seem to be their foremost concern; other issues seem

Ahmadinejad was good for us,” says Yehoshua. “Had he told the Iranians to kill the Jews, we’d have all been slaughtered.

But he never said one bad word against the Jews of Iran. On the contrary, I say, 'Good for him that he only spoke about us positively.' His rhetoric was never against Jews in general, only against Israel, and we, the Jews of Iran, lived through particularly peaceful times during his reign.”

Yehoshua admits that he wasn’t exactly comfortable with everything that was said, even though the threesome stand by their assertion that life in Iran is almost ideal.

“Why should I leave Iran?” Yehoshua asks rhetorically. “My home in Iran is palatial; I have everything I need.

Moving to Israel means beginning from scratch. less important.

All three of our interviewees live in the Iranian capital, Tehran. We ask them about life from a Jewish perspective.

Life is good, they all agree.

“The batei knessiot are open seven days a week and the people all go there to pray daily. Our children even learn Hebrew even though there are no official yeshivot or talmudei Torah. Instead, we have evening learning programs where Judaism is taught.”

Nissim says he has a 17-year-old son.

“He attends the local non-Jewish school, but during religious study classes he has permission to leave. Thirty years ago, life was very different. Jews were unable to study together with non-Jews and our institutions were all strictly controlled by the non-Jews."

Did the anti-Israel statements made by Ahmadinejad and other officials bother them?

“The facts on the ground prove that

They are proud of their active batei knessiot, Torah classes and peaceful relations with their neighbors.

“There is no one above the law in Iran,” Yehoshua waxes enthusiastic. “Everyone has to abide by the same laws, even us, of course. Life was very different 30 years ago: We lived in terror, and just going out to buy a loaf of bread was an ordeal. Non-Jews would enter Jewish homes, plundering and killing the inhabitants. The Ayatollah Khomeini gave us a lot of trouble, but things have changed since then. People have learned to accept the fact that Jews live in their midst. We also have a lawyer, one of the community members, who represents us to the government with all our concerns.

“We interact with our neighbors all the time and can walk the streets fearlessly.

Unlike the Arabs in Israel, the non-Jews in Iran are friendly towards us. Here in Israel, the Arabs hate us; they want our blood.

The more Israel gives them they more they

JEWISHNEWS

hate.”

A recent article in an Israeli publication written by a visitor to Iran paints an entirely different picture of life in Iran today. The author describes the lengthy bureaucratic process Jews who wish to travel abroad have to undergo.

The three visitors claim ignorance. “Life is just fine. We are allowed to leave Iran freely. If there ever was a time where leaving was difficult, it was years ago, after the fall of the Shah. Now we have no complaints; we are happy, baruch Hashem.

Yehoshua has his own very interesting slant on today’s politics.

“Ahmadinejad really did Israel and the Jewish people the biggest favor. How so?

He spoke so vehemently against Israel that it shocked the world. As a result, the rest of the world jumped to Israel’s defense.

They are now more protective of Israel than in the past.”

Yehoshua continues by saying that he believes that Israel possesses unbelievable strength and this may very well be one of the reasons why Iran protects its Jews.

Nissim smiles and says, “The non-Jews in Iran believe that Ahmadinejad was really a spy for Israel because he caused the rest of the world to become pro-Israel.”

Here our interpreter interrupts by turning to us and saying, “I think that living in Iran leaves them very little understanding of those of us who live here in Israel. They are living in a cocoon. Ahmadinejad has learnt nothing and understands nothing, and I who speak the language can tell you that he doesn’t even know how to talk. For the entire six years that he was in power he wore the same few suits, and the same garbage. My mother who lived here in Israel until a few years ago told me that in his youth he was a street cleaner.”

How have the uprisings in the Arab world affected Iran? Has the country changed?

“Ahmadinejad himself condoned the uprisings; elsewhere of course, not in Iran.

It is too soon to know how Rouhani feels about them. There have been a number of

Socializing with fellow Jews in Teheran

attempted coups in Iran but nothing came of them. Thirty years ago, with the fall of the Shah, people armed themselves and waged war against the army. There is nothing like that happening now.

“People are afraid to speak; nonconformists are killed on the spot and the people remain unarmed. Ahmadinejad used to send soldiers in tanks into the town squares to mow the people down.

Many lost their lives this way. Thus, it is doubtful that in today’s climate there will be a successful uprising in Iran.”

How did the majority of the non-Jewish populace feel about Ahmadinejad’s reign?

“On the whole, they were unhappy,” the interpreter translates, noting the irony of the fact that “our Jews” felt that life was good.

Part of the reason for their stance is no doubt the imperative that they not rock the boat; any statements against the authorities might lead to their harassment.

Our interpreter tried to get them to loosen up a little, to no avail. One of them

66 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

simply stated that people who speak out against the regime are eliminated instantly, but in Israel, apparently you can talk freely against the government.

How do Jews in Iran earn a living?

“Most of us deal in fabrics, but there are no rules. Jews work in all fields including medicine, law and commerce. Shechitah is carried out by local youngsters who are sent abroad to study in Moscow and then come back to shecht for the community.

“Communication between Iran and the outside world is free flowing,” they say. “I speak daily with my daughter in Israel,” adds Nissim, “except for the time when all the uprisings began in the Arab world and there was fear that a coup in Iran might ensue. Then the government cut all phone lines for calls out of the country, because they didn’t want the world to know that they were killing people in the streets. But now life is fine.”

When do they plan to move to Israel?

“Only G-d knows; if He wills it, we will move.”

•

JEWISHNEWS

I

BY YOSSI KRAUSZ

When a Rebbi Is Fired VAAD AFFIRMS AND UPHOLDS TORAH'S SEVERANCE PAY MANDATE

t’s the nightmare of every breadwinner: a pink slip. In many cases, however, government unemployment insurance can keep some money flowing in when a person has been laid off. That’s not true, though, for the rebbeim and morahs who teach our children, at least in the US, because payment into the unemployment insurance system is generally not mandated for religious institutions. Despite that, there is a mandate for severance pay for klei kodesh: one mandated not by the government, but by the Torah.

This was recently reiterated by the Vaad Roshei Yeshivos of Torah U’Mesorah, headed by Rav Avraham Chaim Levin of Yeshivas Telshe Chicago and composed of a number of the greatest American roshei yeshivah. The Vaad issued a gilui daas stating that severance pay must be paid to klei kodesh, in accordance with the psak of Rav Moshe Feinstein, which was that an employee should be paid one month’s worth of salary for every year he or she was employed by that employer. This rule is commonly called chodesh l’shanah—a month for a year. For rebbeim and morahs, whose salary is often too low to put aside sizeable savings, chodesh l’shanah represents a promise of some financial security.

A recently published sefer, entitled Sefer Chodesh L’Shanah, clarifies the basis and wide acceptance of the need to pay severance. Ami spoke about this topic with the author of the sefer, Rabbi Naftali Zvi Frankel, and Torah U’Mesorah’s Rabbi Shea Ryback, who, as the director of the National Conference of Yeshiva Principals, deals with issues of chodesh l’shanah.

Severance pay has a basis in the halachah of ha’anakah, the requirement that a master must give his eved Ivri (Jewish slave) specific items when he leaves his service. Though the rule of ha’anakah only technically applies in the time of the Beis Hamikdash, the Sefer Hachinuch states that

one should give his employee a similar payment even in modern times.

Besides this Sefer Hachinuch statement, there is also the halachic rule that employment benefits are based on the minhag hamedinah, the standard practice in the country in which a person resides. Rabbi Frankel explained that in many countries, there is government-mandated severance pay, which establishes a minhag hamedinah. In Israel, for example, the mandated pay, given by both religious and secular employers, is in fact one month for every year of employment, and batei din routinely enforce that.

In America, however, it is Rav Moshe’s psak—of which Rabbi Frankel presented a clarification of in his sefer, including letters about the psak from Rav Dovid Feinstein and other gedolei Torah—that poskim see as the source for the established minhag hamedinah.

Rabbi Frankel explained that there are three factors that impel the payment of chodesh l’shanah: “We know the psak halachah of the Rashk’behag, Rav Moshe Feinstein, ztvk”l,

68 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

who was the mara d’asra of America from the time he arrived in 1936: that one is obligated to pay chodesh l’shanah.

“Second, when the posek hador paskened that way, the vast majority of avos batei din and rabbanim accepted that psak. Because of that, a firmly established minhag hamedinah was established.

“Some may say that Rav Moshe decreed to act this way [and therefore there is a requirement to follow that decree],” Rabbi Frankel added. But he says it is simpler to understand that because Rav Moshe’s psak was followed by bnei Torah, it therefore established a minhag hamedinah. That minhag hamedinah, he explained, now stands on its own.

“A third factor is that if a loyal employee is fired after years of work without a penny of severance, is that in keeping with darche’hah darchei noam [the Torah’s ways are pleasant]? That’s a question that everyone would naturally ask themselves, without knowing what the piskei halachah are.”

Rabbi Frankel’s sefer includes about 45 letters from respected rabbanim and gedo-

318 professional brainiacs backing your business every day.

They’re called Fidelity Associates. at fidelity, we hire the best and the brightest, because when it comes to payment services, every little detail matters. and while merchants don’t want to deal with the complexities of transaction-based services, our associates are hired to do just that. after all, it takes a brainiac to make the intricate work we do look simple. Effortless transactions; it’s where we shine.

Fidelity. We’ve Got Your Back.

TM

1-855-794-7348 www.fidelitypayment.com

‫בברכת חג שמח‬

JEWISHNEWS

lei Torah from around the world and from all different streams of Yiddishkeit, clarifying their positions on chodesh l’shanah.

Rabbi Frankel says that it is clear from these letters that if there are poskim who argue against the concept, they are in the minority.

The rules that the gedolim of Torah U’Mesorah have agreed on are codified in a publication known as the “Code of Practice,” Rabbi Ryback told Ami. He said that the gilui daas was issued in order to both publicize to rebbeim that they have a halachic recourse when fired, as well as to make clear to the minority of institutions that do not pay chodesh l’shanah what the position of the gedolim is.

He described Torah U’Mesorah’s policy.

“In the typical case I deal with,” he explained, “when a rebbi or menahel is fired, let’s say after 20 years in a school, the school will be chayiv [required] to pay him 20 months of pay over time. That doesn’t have to be paid in one lump sum.

I don’t know if Rav Moshe specified a certain amount of time, but Torah U’Mesorah has set a policy that they must be paid within two years. If a rebbi only worked in a yeshivah for six years, for example, many yeshivos will just keep him on payroll and give him a quarter of a check for two years.”

BY YOSSI KRAUSZ

He told Ami that typical chodesh l’shanah cases involve a rebbi who has been fired because of a significant lack of professional integrity. He said that when a rebbi has committed a very serious infraction against a student, the rebbi would lose his chodesh l’shanah.

Rabbi Ryback says that although initially the rule had only covered cases when a rebbi was fired, a few years ago, the Vaad Roshei Yeshivos extended it to cases of retirement, in effect creating a type of pension for rebbeim. Rabbi Ryback explained

that this would only be true in cases where the rebbi has worked for the institution for 35 years or he is at least 65 years old, and that it is only when the rebbi is actually retiring, not taking up other work.

Though Rabbi Frankel included a letter in his sefer from Rav Dovid Feinstein stating that Rav Moshe held that any employee, even an office worker, should receive chodesh l’shanah, the Torah U’Mesorah Code of Practice discusses only klei kodesh, both men and women.

Rabbi Frankel emphasized that while Torah U’Mesorah has codified their position in certain cases, that doesn’t preclude an employee having recourse to beis din in any case in which he or she believes that chodesh l’shanah is appropriate.

In fact, at present many cases of chodesh l’shanah do end up in beis din. Rabbi Frankel said that he has been contacted, since writing his sefer, by a number of people who have bought it because of practical cases. He told Ami that he hopes that his

On the subject of international severance pay, Rabbi Naftali Zvi Frankel referred Ami to a 2011 report entitled Severance Pay Programs around the World: History, Rationale, Status, and Reforms, written for the World Bank, which includes a detailed list of severance-pay policies for countries around the world. Some countries mandate such pay for all dismissals of employees; others do so just in cases of redundancies, not when a worker has been fired for cause; and others, like the US, don’t mandate severance pay at all. Here’s a list of some of the numerous countries that require severance pay for workers who have been fired for cause. (In some cases, this covers only specific categories of workers.)

Brazil Bulgaria Chile China Denmark France Greece

Hong Kong Hungary Indonesia Iran ISRAEL Jordan Kuwait

70 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

Latvia Lithuania Luxembourg Mexico Morocco Pakistan Portugal

Russia Saudi Arabia South Korea Spain Switzerland Syria Taiwan

Thailand Turkey Ukraine United Arab Emirates

An Unprecedented

Crisis REQUIRES

A Revolutionary

Response

The last dollars have suddenly been taken away from Torah families

in Eretz Yisroel

Join Adopt-A-Kollel

An International Relief Response COMING SOON TO YOUR SHUL

Giving every individual the opportunity to collectively make a difference.

866.953.2735

INFO@ADOPTAKOLLEL.ORG

JEWISHNEWS sefer will reduce the need for dinei Torah, by making clear that the majority of poskim hold that there is a chiyuv to pay severance.

Rabbi Ryback told me that he and Rabbi Raphael Skaist, the other Torah U’Mesorah representative who deals with chodesh l’shanah cases, mediate between yeshivos and their employees, trying to help them avoid the need for a din Torah.

It’s clear that severance pay is an issue that arouses strong emotions. The financial state of yeshivos is never on easy footing, and paying an employee who is no longer working there may be resisted by some. But those advocating for rebbeim

BY YOSSI KRAUSZ

emphasize that this is a requirement, not an act of chesed.

The gedolim have stated, Rabbi Ryback said, that even when a yeshivah closes down, it needs to sell its assets in order to pay chodesh l’shanah. “You have to pay your electric bill and your gas bill, and you have to pay chodesh l’shanah.”

Rabbi Frankel said, “Some people seem astonished by the idea of severance pay.”

He pointed out that, although the Torah obligation is obviously enough of a reason that employers should pay severance, the fact that many countries around the world require such pay should indicate that it is

hardly unusual even in the world of secular business.

Rabbi Yaakov Bender, rosh hayeshivah of Yeshiva Darchei Torah in Far Rockaway, told Ami that he had discussed chodesh l’shanah and other financial safety nets for rebbeim years ago with Rav Elya Svei, zt”l.

“Rav Elya told me very clearly that if you treat your rebbeim well, you will see it come back to you. You’ll have siyata d’shmaya.”

Advocates for chodesh l’shanah, like Rabbi Ryback and Rabbi Frankel, are hoping that the recent gilui daas will indeed convince more institutions to treat their rebbeim properly.

•

Raising the Dead A DISPATCH FROM A CEMETERY’S PROTECTOR

In Ami Issue 84, we ran a feature article on the poor conditions that prevail in the Bayside Cemetery in Queens, New York, and the work by Anthony Pisciotta, a non-Jewish New Yorker, to restore dignity to the Jewish graves there. We’ve run some updates since then, including last month’s ceremony by the Marine Corps to restore a gravestone of a Jewish war veteran, which took place due to

Mr. Pisciotta’s initiative, and for which he was honored by the Marines.

We recently received the following e-mail from Anthony Pisciotta, about new work that he has completed at Bayside Cemetery, restoring the gravestones of two of the rabbanim interred there: I just wanted to share these photos with you. I was able to lift and re-erect the stones

72 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

of Rav Jaffe and Rav Barit at Bayside today.

It bothered me, every time I passed them, to see the stones of these two holy men desecrated.

All the best, Anthony It’s hard to not be astonished at the work this man has done, and the commitment he has to the preservation of Jewish graves.

•

Top Quality E-Cigarette Models

Locations In

10 Levels of Nicotine Available With Menthol or Without

Lakewood Flatbush Boro Park Five Towns Williamsburg Monroe Monsey

Call Now! 1-866-DROP-344 or Visit www.dropsmoke.com 376-7334

JEWISHNEWS

W

The Sukkah List UNITING THE JEWISH WORLD THROUGH THE MITZVAH OF SUKKAH

hether you’re enjoying a family outing or stuck somewhere on business, if it’s Sukkos, the one question that will inevitably arise is, “Where can I find a sukkah?”

Avi Vorchheimer, founder of the Worldwide Sukkah Directory and LocalSukkah. org, has the answer for you. His directory exists to help people find available sukkahs throughout the world.

I was surprised to learn that, of all places, this organization is based in of Melbourne, Australia. “The whole project really began locally,” explained Avi. “To be honest, it wasn’t my idea; I only acted on an idea presented to me. A friend of mine asked, ‘Why doesn’t someone make a list of the available sukkahs?’ to which I replied, ‘Great idea!’ And for a long time, that’s what it remained: an idea.

“The next year, Erev Sukkos of 1994, my

74 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

friend reminded me about the conversation and I decided to do something about it right away. I figured if I’d wait another year, it would never happen. I went to the few local shuls and posted signs asking people to add their names to the list if they were willing to make their sukkah available to the public. Amazingly, though it was Erev Yom Tov itself, we got nine responses. The following year I expanded to all of Melbourne and got 45 responses,

BY NESANEL GANTZ

Horse-Drawn Sukkah Buggy, Chicago, Illinois, USA

Montgomery Square, Canary Wharf, London, England

Krakow JCC in Krakow, Poland

Chabad PediSukkah, New York, USA

Jewish Federation of Cleveland, Cleveland, Ohio, USA

1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4 / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / A M I M AG A Z I N E

75

JEWISHNEWS Pioneer Courthouse Square, Portland, Oregon, USA

and over the next ten years we expanded to the whole of Australia.”

“Ten years ago, in 2003, we decided to go global,” said Vorchheimer, an accountant by trade. “It’s a slow process, but we now have close to 500 sukkahs listed in 27 different countries throughout the world.”

How does one get a sukkah listed? “You simply have to send me your information; photos are a plus. Obviously, there is no way for me to verify the kashrus of every sukkah and I have a disclaimer to that effect on the site. One of the goals of creating this list was to foster unity amongst klal Yisrael through the mitzvah of sukkah.

Indeed, having Yidden from across the globe—in places such as Poland, Greece and even New York [laughs]—open their sukkahs to any and every Jew, is a great display of unity.”

“Have you received any feedback?” I ask him. “I receive e-mails occasionally,” says Vorchheimer. “A woman emailed me that she became frum because of the sukkah list.

She had heard about the list and visited a sukkah where she met some frum Yidden who were mekarev her.

“More directly, I witnessed a nonreligious father bring his son to one of the sukkahs listed, to show him what a sukkah looked like. I believe that is one of the beauties of Sukkos and the sukkah itself: A sukkah is pareve, so people don’t feel threatened by the enormity or commitment of the mitzvah. Once they are in the sukkah, the mitzvah takes over and the heart of the Yid is pulled in to the beauty of a Torah lifestyle.

NL&Z Import Company, Cheltenham,Victoria, Australia Teller Automotive Group, Port Melbourne,Victoria, Australia

•

76 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

JUST ARRIVED! Yahadus volume 3

Provide your children with basic knowledge of the Entire Torah in an organized, relevant and exciting way!

This groundbreaking Yahadus series features: The Mitzvos organized by theme, following the system of Rambam’s monumental ‫יד החזקה‬.

Includes stories, Chazal, biographies, historical and scientific tidbits and more to appeal to all kinds of learners.

Elements from current educational theory applied to Torah subjects.

Written in inviting language, making Torah accessible to today’s youth.

Beautiful design and stimulating layout.

575 ing stunn s! page

Endorsed and encouraged by leading Gedolim and Mechanchim.

Enjoyed by thousands of children, families and teachers around the world.

First three volumes of the Yahadus series already available, covering

376 mitzvos

Volume 4 coming soon

tastic A Fan Tov Yom gift!

Request th e for your ch curriculum ild’s schoo Five year se l! quential cu rriculum.

Includes W orkbooks, tests and comprehe nsive Teach er’s Guide.

Available now at your local Judaica or Seforim store www.livinglessons.com • 347.709.8660 • info@livinglessons.com

The Yahadus Series is graciously sponsored by the Rohr Family Foundation in loving memory of Mrs. Sarah (Charlotte) Rohr ‫מרת שרה בת ר' יקותיאל יהודה ע"ה • ע"ה‬

In this issue of

Let’s sing

The Together song

The Sympinny medley Arranged by:

Arranged by:

Pinny Ostreicher

Tzvi Blumenfeld

Michoel Schnitzler Beri Webber Yoely Greenfeld Shlomie Daskal

Shloime Gertner Lyrics: M. Illowitz, CM Kellner Choir:

Choir:

Piano & Synths: Tzvi Blumenfeld Drums: Avi Avidani Saxophone: Mark Fineberg Guitars: Nachman Dryer Recorded at: Blue Rhythm Studios Mixed & Mastered by: Ian Freitor

Keyboards: Pinny Ostreicher Drums: Shabsi Broyde Bass: Shlome Spielman Guitars: Chaim Bokchin Mixed at: Fountain Music Studio Mastered by: Ian Freitor

Originally sung by: MBD

Download the Lyrics

at: www.RCCSauction.com

Gershy Moskowitz PRODUCTION

Spons ors :

A year of SWEET Desserts...

You deserve the best, enjoy it...

Imported & distributed by Dairy Delight - 1 Industrial Dr., Rutherford, NJ 07070 - (201) 939-7878

JEWISH LIVING IN

Shanghai, China

The Jewish population

consists of 2,000 residents

J

ewish life in Shanghai (pronounced sheng-chai, not shang-high) is a blend of the familiar and the unique; new is adjacent to old, and native mingles with foreign. Things have a way of being both the same and different at once. Shanghai’s Jews work, study, pray and celebrate much as Jewish communities everywhere do. Hamantashen are triangular, latkes are round and challos are braided. However, Tu B’Shevat might feature lychee or dragon fruit, and it all happens in the midst of Shanghai’s 22 million Chinese residents.

Shanghai, a cosmopolitan city once known as “Paris of the Orient,” has a long Jewish history. Sephardim from Baghdad and Bombay reached Shanghai in the mid1800s. These early immigrants included

members of the Sassoon family. They established Ohel Rachel Synagogue in the early 1900s, and it remains active today.

Between 1920 and 1937, more Jewish immigrants arrived, mostly from Russia.

Many Jews moved to Shanghai before and during the Second World War, fleeing persecution in Europe. The city’s Jewish population peaked at about 24,000 when the war ended in 1945. Many Jewish historical sites from that era are featured on historic tours of Jewish Shanghai.

Today’s Jewish population consists of 2,000 residents, including many families with children. Many of them are Israelis, from Middle Eastern countries or English speakers from the US and Australia. Some are from Europe and South America. The Jewish population has been expanding as international trade and employment

80 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

The author in Shanghai

opportunities grow. In addition to permanent residents, many short-term and business travelers are present.

Daily life for Shanghai’s Jews contains some interesting differences from other communities. Shanghai is a very crowded city, with astounding levels of vehicle and pedestrian traffic. Crossing a major street

BY BORUCH WAHRHAFTIG

Real Estate TO RENT Shanghai is a very urban area, with most residents living in apartments, often in highrise buildings. Rental for a 160–squaremeter apartment (about 1,700 square feet) is around $3,000 US per month. Purchasing a similar apartment would cost about $1 million US.

Cost of Living

most of the Jews daven. Over 100 families are affiliated with Chabad’s Jewish Center and school. The center and other facilities are the core of activities and support, with a wide range of programs for residents and visitors.

School for younger children is at the Shanghai Gan. Children aged 5 to 11 attend classes where Hebrew, English, French and other languages are spoken.

The teacher/student ratio would be envied, if not impossible, in major Jewish communities. Older children have access to bar mitzvah clubs, and several local Jewish libraries that serve children and adults. A lot of Torah is learned via the Internet, just as most of the children’s secular studies are learned through remote schooling tailored to students in small communities far from major Jewish centers.

Kosher products such as meats, breads, canned goods and spices are available from the Kosher Mart, where shopping online or arranging an order for delivery is common. Delicious fresh baked goods are available, with baguettes and challah that rival or exceed the quality available in other locales.

Milk was not a common drink in much

Getting There 

is an adventure, with all manner of traffic moving in waves that seem to defy logic. It takes some time to get used to rush hour, which can last as long as in New York or Los Angeles. People who might be retirees in other parts of the world are often employed to assist at busy intersections, and jaywalking is strongly discouraged.

Shanghai is a very secure environment where street crime is almost unknown; it is generally safe to walk anywhere at any time of the day or night. Additionally, it is relatively easy to get by with English; while most foreign residents speak little or no Chinese, China now has more English speakers than the US. Shanghai’s Orthodox community is growing. Residents include Ashkenazi and Sephardi families, with several Chabad and other chasidim. One local shtreimel wearer is joined regularly by heimishe friends or relatives doing business in China. A number of baalei teshuvah have adopted Torah lives or are in the process.

With the support of traditional members, Shanghai may again boast the yeshivos that were preserved there during the war years.

Chabad operates three facilities in Shanghai, which include the shuls where

TUITION The local preschool charges $11,000 per year. The international schools charge between $25,000 to $35,000 US a year.

FOOD Kosher items can be found at the Shanghai kosher online store: koshermarket.cn Large challah: RMB (reminbi—the official currency of the People’s Republic of China)14 ($2.29 US); Small challah: RMB 5 ($0.82 US) Whole chicken: RMB 65 ($10.62 US) Salmon fillet: RMB 65 ($10.62 US) Kedem wine, 750 ml. sweet: RMB 30 ($4.90 US)

From New York: close to 15 hours (14:40) From Tel Aviv: There is no direct service. Shortest flight time is about six hours from Tel Aviv to Beijing, with a 1.5-hour connecting flight from Beijing to Shanghai.

of China until recently. Upscale shops display boxes of long-shelf-life milk prominently to attract consumers. Because chalav Yisrael products are rare, many families rely on soy milk in their coffee and breakfast cereal. Powdered milk and other dairy imports are the common calcium sources.

Someone wearing a yarmulke, beard, tzitzis or even a shtreimel is not immediately recognizable as Jewish to Chinese locals.

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

81

JEWISH LIVING IN

 WEATHER

Shanghai has four distinct seasons.

Summers can be humid, with highs in the low 30s Celsius/high 80s Fahrenheit. Winters can be cold and damp, with lows slightly above freezing. Humidity averages 73–82 percent. Rainfall averages about 45 inches annually, with precipitation on 129 days per year.

While there are Jews in China, only some look different than average foreigners from Europe, the US or elsewhere. When encountering Orthodox Jews, Chinese people are often curious about our origins.

Occasionally, someone gestures towards a yarmulke and mentions Israel or some other Jewish reference. More often, an explanation is needed.

The Chinese translation of “Jewish” is you tai ren (pronounced yo tie ren). This refers to the people of biblical Israel, but has a very special meaning in Chinese.

The literal meaning is close to “people of the truly high place.” Jews are extremely respected in China, and are particularly cherished by the people of Shanghai. We have a reputation for being intelligent and business savvy. This is probably because early arrivals created some business and civic landmarks that are active today, such as the Sassoon housing develop-

ment and the famed Peace Hotel. They were baalei tzedakah who supported many causes, such as health care for the poor.

Anti-Semitism is nonexistent; people in Shanghai are very proud of their history as a safe haven for Jews during WWII. There is probably no place on earth where an Orthodox Jew is more welcomed by nonJewish locals.

Although eating is a very big part of business culture, China’s respect for tradition makes it possible to decline a business lunch that is not kosher. Interrupting an important meeting to take time for Minchah is tolerated without any negative comments, even in a factory where the manager lights incense in front of a stone statue every morning in his office. It is a pleasure not to see eyes rolling or hear that the food is all natural, as one might in the US. When you live as a Yid in China, you are following the ways of your ancestors, and that is always a good thing.

Today, Sephardi and Ashkenazi Jews share facilities and festivities in the city where East and West have met for centuries. The resident Jewish population speaks a range of languages. They are different from one another, yet all the same—

82 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

Jewish. Their prayers and rituals follow the same familiar patterns, embellished with a rich variety of individual touches from their regions and traditions. One is likely to hear an Ashkenazi reading the parshah from a sefer Torah that is vertical in the Sephardi custom. It is not rare to hear a mixture of songs from both of those cultures at the Shabbos table.

Events from simchos to Sunday soccer outings are attended by happy crowds who share one thing: being Jewish in the People’s Republic of China.

•

Boruch Wahrhaftig lived part-time, for several years, in Shanghai while managing production of consumer goods in China. He currently resides in New York when not visiting friends and family in China, Israel and South Africa. His experience in China made a lasting positive impression on him and he encourages all to visit. He enjoys watching the community grow and looks forward to returning there..

To submit an article about a community or to have your community featured here, please contact us at submissions@ amimagazine.org.

e Impressivgs! in il e high c

11.8ft

Make this Penthouse YOUR Dream Home!

Penthouse apartments with the most stunning panoramic view are waiting for your personal design!

The building’s up. The lovely Yerushalmi stone is already gleaming in the sun. And you can be right in the center of chareidi Yerushalayim whilst standing before the most breathtaking panoramic view.

Everything’s all ready and waiting for you to come design your personal dream penthouse!

Want to move in already?

Beautifully finished and appointed 5 room apartments available soon Huge balconies off the dining room Designer tiles Master suite 80cmx80cm exclusive floor tiles Inverter a/c units

Office hours: 12 p.m. to 7 p.m.

GANEI ROMEMA GANEI ROMEMA. TAkING LUxURY LIvING TO NEW HEIGHTs

68YirmeyahuStreet,Jerusalem POBox57891 Phone+972-2-500-1490 Email: gr@ganeiromema.com www. ganeiromema.com Fax +972-2-500-1491

Valimer Int’l, Developers Ehud Tayar, Engineering & Mgmt.

Kolker Epstein, Architect Yigal Arnon & Co., Lawyers Bank Hapoalim, Guarantor

‫בס"ד‬

‫לאוי”ט ‪Dear brothers and sisters,‬‬ ‫‪Perhaps you are not aware.‬‬ ‫‪Please read this.‬‬ ‫‪Excerpts from an‬‬ ‫‪unusually forceful letter written by‬‬

‫מכתב נורא‬

‫שכתב מרן הגאון‬

‫זצ"ל‬ ‫ר' משה פיינשטיין‬ ‫(נדפס בספר קומי אורי‪ ,‬וקנטרס עם סגולה)‬

‫עם סגולה ‪ and‬קומי אורי ‪printed at the end of the seforim,‬‬

‫‪.‬מדאורייתא ‪The subject of Tznius for women is‬‬ ‫‪Lately the urge for pritzus has found its way even into homes‬‬ ‫‪of shomrei Torah, luring them into wearing short garments,‬‬ ‫‪.‬רחמנא לצלן‬ ‫‪I have come to publicly proclaim that this is one of the most‬‬ ‫‪serious aveiros.‬‬ ‫‪Those who transgress it will be severely punished whilst‬‬ ‫‪those who do not give in to this urge will be richly rewarded‬‬ ‫‪both in this world and in the next.‬‬ ‫‪… it is an obligation on the Bas Yisroel to wear clothes which‬‬ ‫‪do not allow even the most minimal part of her knee to show,‬‬ ‫‪, whether at the time of walking or when she sits down.‬ח"ו‬ ‫‪Even if she wears thick hosiery it is still forbidden, because it‬‬ ‫‪is an immense pritzus even when no flesh can be seen.‬‬ ‫‪It is the duty of each and every man to supervise the members‬‬ ‫‪of his family regarding the halacha against wearing short‬‬ ‫‪.‬ח"ו ‪garments,‬‬ ‫‪will be‬ו‪ and‬והי' מחניך קדוש ‪They will then fulfill the verse of‬‬ ‫‪worthy of having upright and blessed children who engage‬‬ ‫‪in the study of Torah and the fulfillment of mitzvos.‬‬ ‫‪We turn to the heads of educational institutions for girls and‬‬ ‫‪request of them to be strong in this difficult struggle and‬‬ ‫‪not to allow pupils to wear short garments.‬‬ ‫‪In the merit of Tznius and Kedushas Yisroel,‬‬ ‫!‪may we soon merit the redemption‬‬

‫משה פיינשטיין‬

‫מכון‬ ‫אז‬ ‫נדברו‬ ‫‪646.448.2778‬‬

‫‪You wouldn’t eat treif, even in private.‬‬ ‫‪Why would you wear a skirt that’s assur al pi torah, in public‬‬ ‫?מחטיא את הרבים ‪and be‬‬

‫‪Calligraphix 718.438.1334‬‬

‫הנה ענין צניעות לנשים הוא חיוב גדול‬ ‫ומדאורייתא על הנשים‪ ,‬לא רק על הנשואות‬ ‫שלהן אסרה תורה אף לגלות שער ראשיהן‬ ‫וכ"ש לגלות מבשר הגוף מהמקומות שצירכות‬ ‫לכסותן‪ ,‬אלא גם על הבתולות אף שאין להן‬ ‫איסור גלוי השער שאין זה ענין פריצות כל כך‪,‬‬ ‫אסורות בגילוי מקום מגופם כמו הנשואות‪,‬‬ ‫והאיסור בזה חמור מאד‪ .‬ולבד האיסור עצמו‬ ‫הרי ההולכות בפריצות מחטיאות את הרבים‬ ‫בהרהורי חטא‪ ,‬וגם מרגילות ממילא את עצמן‬ ‫ואת הרבים לעבירות היותר חמורות‪ ,‬שאף‬ ‫אוה"ע ידעו שהשי"ת שונא זמה הוא‪ .‬והנשים‬ ‫כשרות שלובשות בצניעות זוכות לשכר היותר‬ ‫גדול‪ ,‬שהוא להעמיד דורות כשרים וצדיקים‬ ‫כמפורש בגמ'‪ .‬והלובשות בפריצות עונשן‬ ‫חמור ביותר‪ ,‬אשר ודאי כל בת ישראל צריכה‬ ‫ליזהר מאד בעניני המלבושים שיהיה בצניעות‬ ‫שטוב לה ולזרעה לעולם‪.‬‬ ‫והנה בזמן האחרון עלה הפורץ גם בכמה בתי‬ ‫שומרי תורה ללבוש מלבושים קצרים רחמנא‬ ‫לצלן‪ .‬ובאנו לפרסם ולהודיע ברבים שהוא‬ ‫מאיסורים החמורים ביותר‪ ,‬אשר העונש גדול‬ ‫מאד בזה ובבא‪ ,‬וגם להודיע שחובת בת ישראל‬ ‫ללבוש בגדים כשרים אשר לא יתגלה בהן‬ ‫אפילו משהו מהברכים ח"ו הן בשעת הילוך‬ ‫והן בשעת ישיבה‪ .‬ואף כשלובשות פוזמקאות‬ ‫אסור דהוא פריצות גדולה אף באלו שלא נראה‬ ‫הבשר‪ ,‬וכ"ש הפוזמקאות שנראה הבשר בהן‬ ‫כמו בזכוכית שאינן כלום‪.‬‬ ‫וחובה על כל איש ואיש להשגיח שלא יפרצו‬ ‫בני ביתו ח"ו בלבישת בגדים הקצרים ח"ו‬ ‫ויתקיים בנו והי' מחניך קדוש‪ ,‬ויזכו עבור זה‬ ‫לדורות ישרים ומבורך ובנים עוסקים בתורה"ק‬ ‫ובמצות‪ .‬ואל ראשי ומנהלי החינוך החרדי של‬ ‫בנות ישראל אנו פונים‪ ,‬לעמוד חזק במאבקכם‬ ‫הקשה‪ ,‬ולא תניחו לתלמידות לבא בלבושים‬ ‫קצרים‪ .‬ובזכות הצניעות וקדושת ישראל נזכה‬ ‫להגאל במהרה‪.‬‬

‫זצ"ל ‪Maran Hagaon Harav MosHE FEinstEin‬‬

BUSINESS

l NEWS

B Y Y E D I DA WO LF E

How Poverty Taxes the Brain WHAT THE POOR MUST DEAL WITH

Poverty imposes a mental burden equivalent to losing 13 IQ points—the same difference found between chronic alcoholics and normal adults. New research shows the “reality of poverty actually makes it harder to execute fundamental life skills.” This means the poor must cope not only with a shortfall of money but also a “concurrent shortfall of cognitive resources.” The experiments in the study, which took place at Princeton, Harvard and the University of Warwick, found low-income people primed to think about financial problems performed poorly on a series of cognition tests. Their scores were equivalent to those who took the test after losing an entire night’s sleep. While the researchers hope the study will improve programs geared for the poor, some fear the numbers will be reversed, or manipulated to unfairly conclude that less smart people become poor.

(Source: Atlantic Cities)

Data Point 50 percent of food stamp recipients live in the suburbs.

(Source: The Atlantic)

Automatic Tips and the IRS

50%

A RESTAURANT POLICY MEETS THE TAXMAN Restaurants are rethinking adding automatic tips amid Internal Revenue Service changes: Automatic tips will be classified as service charges as of January 2014. The new tax classification affects profits for restaurants and wait staff. Rather than tips that staff report on their personal tax forms, the new service charges would count as wages, subject to Medicare and Social Security taxes on those amounts. Waiters would have to wait to receive the automatic tips until their next paycheck, a sacrifice for servers who rely on large tips to get by. The IRS shift comes as costs and record-keeping requirements are growing. For example, restaurants with 50 or more employees working 30 or more hours per week will be required to offer health coverage under Obamacare. One workaround to help ensure that servers receive their due for large parties is software that offers the diner three tip options. Since diners have a choice, the tiered approach escapes the new tax law.

(Source: Wall Street Journal)

5 RULES FOR

WORKING WITH

FAMILY

Is Advertising the Internet’s Next Victim?

BLOCKING SOFTWARE HAS PAID HOLES Google is one of 20 large Internet companies paying AdBlock Plus a large sum to ensure its ads—and those of its advertising customers—are not blocked. The small German company, which boasts 50 million users, is “responsible for stopping…50 percent of mainstream publishers’ ads.” Meanwhile, web browser Mozilla promises to block all cookies, the technology that enables online tracking. Critics accuse both AdBlock and Mozilla of “hijacking the Internet,” by favoring some business models while blocking others. With Google’s ad sales sagging for the past two years, the Internet giant can’t afford lost revenue from AdBlock’s software, especially as more “precious eyeballs” view ads on mobile devices.

86 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

1

Family relationships are worth more than your profit margin.

2

Talk often; open communication is key to success.

3

Keep your own ego in check; let your family member’s run wild.

4

Move beyond “how it used to be done” by letting younger generations make decisions.

5

Spend time together outside of the business.

business tip for the new year

sell your miles 732.987.7765 • www.sellmilesnow.com

SELL MILE NOW

BUSINESS

l AMBASSADORS / / KIDDUSH HASHEM IN THE WORKPLACE

The Exceptional Boss INDESCRIBABLE KINDNESS FOR AN UNSPEAKABLE CALAMITY AS TOL D TO SAR AH MASSRY

“I absolutely do not want you back yet,” was his firm reply. “If you return to work before then, I will fire you.”

W

hen a distraught neighbor came bursting into my home yelling that my daughter had been hit by a car, I knew it was

bad.

I dashed outside. My daughter was lying on the ground in a pool of blood, unconscious.

Would she make it? Would she ever recover?

Had she sustained permanent brain damage?

The sun came up bright and early the next morning (I was able to watch through the window of the waiting room outside the pediatric ICU). Men and women were hustling down the busy avenue; kids were off to school; delivery trucks were making their usual rounds. It was business as usual.

How can the world continue to function, I thought, when my daughter is hanging between life and death? Then I remembered, I was supposed to have been at work 37 minutes before!

I called my employer, Mr. Steinberg.

“Good morning,” he greeted me in a somber tone.

“I heard about the accident,” he continued, without waiting for my response. “I am very sorry. Our thoughts and our prayers are with you.”

“Thanks,” I managed. There was a brief pause before I continued. “So the thing is, for now, I just don’t think I can make it to the office; I really feel—” “Yes, I understand,” he interrupted me. “And I agree with you, 100 percent. You belong with your daughter right now. I don’t want you back at work until your daughter returns home from the hospital.”

I was overwhelmed. At the same time, though, I couldn’t afford the luxury of an extended “vacation”—especially with all of the added medical expenses.

“Thank you,” I responded. “But I have only

88 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

a couple of sick days left; and maybe a couple of vacation days, too.”

“Again, don’t worry about it,” Mr. Steinberg replied. “I will pay you for the time off, regardless.”

I was overwhelmed by Mr. Steinberg’s kindness. He was a lifesaver. It was necessary for a parent to remain at my daughter’s bedside at all hours of the day and night. My wife and I rotated between our home and the hospital As it turned out, my daughter remained in the hospital for five weeks. After a couple of weeks, I felt like I had to return to work. It wasn’t fair to take advantage of my boss’s offer. I assumed that Mr. Steinberg would be relieved to have me back, yet I was wrong.

“I absolutely do not want you back yet,” was his firm reply. “Not until your daughter leaves the hospital. If you return to work before then, I will fire you.”

I smiled at the irony of his words and thanked him, yet again.

Thank G-d, my daughter has miraculously recovered. Aside for some follow-up physical and occupational therapy appointments, our lives have returned to normal. I will never forget what Mr. Steinberg did for me.

Even now—almost a year since the fateful accident—my boss allows me to take paid time off to accompany my daughter to her therapy appointments.

“You’re lucky that your dad comes along to all of your appointments,” commented Cheryl, my daughter’s physical therapist, one afternoon. She then turned to me. “Your boss must be one nice guy.”

Nice? That word doesn’t begin to describe Mr. Steinberg’s unwavering ahavas Yisrael. The exceptional kindness that he displayed during that difficult period is truly unheard of. Umi Ki’amcha Yisrael.

•

To submit your story for this column or to have your story featured here, please contact us at submissions@amimagazine.org.

In the name of our 264 books.

A TRIBUTE to all those who have entrusted us with their manuscripts to turn them into best-selling books.

AN APPLAUSE to the Menucha team for the 264 books that have been published this year.

A PROMISE to adults, teens and children worldwide –another year of many books!

AVAILABLE AT YOUR LOCAL JUDAICA STORE OR AT:

1-855-MENUCHA • www.menuchapublishers.com

BUSINESS

l TALK // WEEKLY INSIGHTS FROM BUSINESS LEADERS

B Y NE S A NE L G A NT Z

Name: Rabbi Meir Zlotowitz

Industry: Publishing

Company: ArtScroll/Mesorah Publications, Ltd.

Founded: 1976 Employes: 200+

Position: President, General Editor

Lives: Borough Park

Background: A native of Brooklyn, Rabbi Meir Zlotowitz was a talmid of Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, from whom he received semichah, at Mesivta Tiferes Yerushalayim. Having begun his career in the graphic arts industry, Rabbi Zlotowitz went on to found Mesorah Publications, the largest Jewish publisher in the United States. ArtScroll, their most popular imprint, is perhaps best known for its siddurim, found in synagogues all over the world. In addition, ArtScroll’s translated editions of the Talmud and other sacred texts have made indepth Torah study accessible to millions of Jews.

Zlotowitz, who is the publishing house’s general editor alongside Rabbi Nosson Scherman, is also chairman of the company’s non-profit arm, the Mesorah Heritage Foundation.

LUNCHwith BREAK Rabbi Meir Zlotowitz What made you decide to go into the publishing business?

I have been in the graphic arts business since 1966. In 1976, a very close of friend of mine, Rabbi Meir Fogel, was niftar in his sleep. He left no children or any family. As it was two months before Purim, I was inspired to publish a perush on Megillas Esther in his memory. Since our business then had all the facilities for Hebrew and English typesetting, I teamed up with Rabbi Nosson Scherman and together we wrote a work that was supposed to be a one-volume work, l’zecher nishmaso. But it was so well received and became so popular that Rav Moshe Feinstein, Rav Ruderman, Rav Gifter, and Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky, amongst others, urged us not to stop there. In that first year we published the five

Megillos and a Haggadah by Rabbi [Joseph] Elias. We followed that with Bereishis and Mishnayos, and the rest is history.

What were some of the obstacles you faced in the early years?

The major obstacles were 1) financing it, and 2) determining whether we could allow our thriving ArtScroll graphic arts business to take a back burner to this harbatzos Hatorah effort.

Ultimately, the project went ahead due to the insistence of the gedolei hador.

Were you taking a chance with this new venture?

It wasn’t so much a chance as much as neglecting our business that was bringing us parnassah. We were only

90 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

planning to print 500 copies of this Megillas Esther, l’zecher nishmas my friend. There were no plans to distribute it or take it to a larger scale. We just wanted to raise the banner of Torah by creating a Torah work with a full-color cover and modern typography – which was then unheard of. There was no grand vision. There was a volume-byvolume effort. From there it took on a life of its own.

How did you tackle the unexpected rapid growth?

The biggest challenge was assembling our team of outstanding, world-class talmidei chachamim who could continue this effort on a broader scale. We were seeking people who were articulate in English and profound [Torah scholars] as well.

What was the turning point that brought ArtScroll from a publishing house to the well known, respected brand it is today?

The publication of the siddur and the Stone Edition Chumash, and eventually the Schottenstein Talmud. The publication of those three seforim were the explosive events which changed not only ArtScroll, but the entire publishing industry.

How do you manage to be on top of so many different people in so many different areas?

The key is to have derech eretz for your employees. You have to realize that ArtScroll is probably one of the largest worldclass kollelim in the world, and that every one of our editors is worthy of being a major Rosh Yeshivah in his own right. You have to give them the proper derech eretz and, at the same time,

Respect each other’s skills. Respect each other’s strengths.

Have kavod habriyos.

unify them. Our employees form a very cohesive group; they are nohagim kavod zeh bazeh. This cohesion should apply to all workers on every level; everyone has to receive the respect they deserve.

How many people work for ArtScroll?

The literary end of things is distinct from the production end.

There are around 120 scholars working in what Reb Moshe once referred to, in ArtScroll’s earliest days, as our “Kollel without walls,” as it involved talmidei chachamim from around the world, in addition to close to 20 workers.

How many books does ArtScroll publish per year?

Around 60.

In general, how do you determine whether a book will be a good seller?

It’s all siyata d’shmaya. There’s no rhyme or reason. We just

BORO PARK • FLATBUSH • LONG ISLAND • LAKEWOOD

BUSINESS

l TALK // WEEKLY INSIGHTS FROM BUSINESS LEADERS

know that there’s a dor [generation] that is thirsty for dvar Hashem on many different levels, and we feel we have a zechus to be able to help quench their thirst.

What specific criteria are used in considering books for publication?

A book has to be well-written, well-documented and aesthetically pleasing. We also do our market research before publishing a new book.

ArtScroll’s primary role is to remove the language barrier and allow people to access Torah uneditorialized, as our great-grandparents learned it. That is a factor we consider with every book we publish.

How many years have you been partners with Rabbi

Nosson Scherman?

ever.” Everything else is passing.

I have been friends and partners with Rabbi Scherman from before our ArtScroll days; about forty years.

Do you print in your own plant?

What advice would you give people who want to have a long-lasting business relationship?

Respect each other’s skills. Respect each other’s strengths. Have kavod habriyos.

What is the most lucrative type of book to publish?

We define “lucrative” as what makes the greatest long-term impact. The longest impact is made by the classic sefarim. While there might not be a large immediate impact, they are the ones that have staying power. As the saying goes, “The written word is for-

92 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

We don’t have our own printing plant but we have a great printer.

While most of the printing is done in the States, the Hebrew Talmud is printed simultaneously in Israel and America. We do our own bookbinding because we can’t find bookbinders who are willing or able to do the highquality work we’re looking for.

Can anyone publish a book?

Do you recommend it?

Everybody can do the same thing, but you have to be careful with what you’re doing and realize the achrayus involved: achrayus in publishing appropriate material which will help bring about yiras Shamayim. 

PROGRAM

Join us

for an insightful and exciting event

7:30

Listen

5 Steps To Get the Job or Career You Want

job event

on the

‫ייגענט‬

‫געא‬ ‫פאר‘ן‬ ‫יימישע‬ !‫הציבור‬

Finding your niche in the fast-changing job market .

By Maurice Stein, business coach, Ami columnist and author of 10 Days To A Career You Love.

8:30

Pause

Refreshments + Networking TTI advisors and graduates will be available to answer, guide and inform.

9:00

Choose

TTI, the leaders of education, will present an overview on the career options available for the Heimishe community

9:30

Absorb

Two business entrepreneurs who built successful corporations from scratch will share their journey and experience “what they learnt along the way.”

BE THERE. THURSDAY OCTOBER 3rd, 2013

Brought To You By:

ANSHEI SEFARD HALL 4502 14th Avenue SEPARATE SEATING for men & women $20 ADMISSION FOR MORE INFORMATION

Call. 718.376.0974

BUSINESS

l PARNOOOSA

PARNOOOSA!

BY MAURICE STEIN

The Heimishe Economy WHEN IT COMES TO JOBS, ONE MAN’S PROBLEM IS ANOTHER MAN’S MOTIVATION Last week we launched our new project where we will coach three people to find jobs. At this point we are still accepting applications and will soon begin the process of selecting our three candidates (See details on the next page).

In the meantime, let’s take a more in-depth look at what we will call the “heimishe economy.” In areas with large numbers of Orthodox Jews, the community has done extremely well in recent years at creating its own internal job market, in which community members start businesses and employ

is doing quite well—has hired over 300 people from the community in the last seven years, and every day I hear of businesses looking to hire new talent to help them expand.

As a community, however, we still face huge challenges when it comes to finding work. First, many of us do not have much of a formal education, which blocks our access to careers that require a degree.

Second, often we don’t have the time to start at an entry level job and work our way up. Most of us go out to work when we already have more expenses

No job was beneath their parents' dignity, and whatever they did was done with dedication. people from within the community.

For example, twenty-five years ago there were hardly any good jobs in town in places like Kiryas Joel and Lakewood. Most residents had to travel to the city each day to earn a living. But today over 50 percent of its residents are employed by heimishe entrepreneurs.

One of my clients—whose business

than the average entry level job's salary can cover.

Ironically these challenges are precisely what created the many successful startups in our community. I constantly meet people who are heading successful operations having learned it by osmosis.

When sitting in on meetings with these entrepreneurs, I often wonder

94 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

if they would have even started their businesses if they had gone to business school. The answer is obvious: They would not have.

The same is true with regard to the second so-called problem. While logically it makes sense to start from the bottom and gradually work yourself up the career ladder, many people do get stuck along the way and stay at their low-paying entry-level job forever.

Precisely because many of us are starting out with large monthly bills to pay, we have no choice but to figure out how to earn a decent salary. "Necessity is the mother of invention." In some cases, this pressure turns out to be the best thing that ever happened to us.

Unfortunately, while this works for some people, others do get lost in the process. This does not mean that they don’t have the necessary skills; they just don’t know where to start. They’ve never been exposed to the marketplace and haven’t put much thought into what they enjoy doing. They look at work as a place where they can put in a few hours a day in exchange for some money to pay their bills.

Most employers, however, are looking for a person who uses his talents to deliver a specific result: someone who can take over a job responsibility, do it better than anyone else and be

in

of great value to the company, which in turn will result in more profit.

Many employers complain that today's employees aren’t committed to working hard to achieve success. Young people grew up in an atmosphere of entitlement and instant gratification. They don’t understand the concept of working hard and being devoted to doing whatever it takes to succeed.

The baby boomer generation saw their parents struggle. No job was beneath their parents' dignity, and whatever they did was done with dedication. Many men worked all day at factory jobs or at their own businesses, and the women worked hard to

MAURICE'S

raise a family or also as factory workers.

You can still see these old-timers running their stores or businesses, sometimes even driving a forklift or washing the floor themselves. Nothing was beneath them or too difficult, which is why many of them succeeded in building empires without formal knowledge of the business world.

Over the next few weeks we will be learning some interesting lessons as we coach our three candidates on their way to their next job or career.

Make it a great Yom Tov!

10 DAYS DAYS CAREER YOU LOVE TO A

A step-by-step guide, to discover the career you love!

By

•

Looking forward to your e-mails at Maurice@amimagazine.org

NEXT

PROJECT!

is FINDING you a job! want to be a part of tHE NExt PARNOoOSA COLUMN? If you are interested in being one of our three candidates, or you are a company looking for an employee, please send an email with the following information.

Looking for work? Include contact information. Your age, marital status, number of children, the type of job you are looking for, and past work history if any. A resume is not necessary.

Looking for an employee? Include contact information. The type of job available, salary, what you are looking for in an employee, and a description of your business.

All information is strictly confidential. If I believe you may be a good candidate for this project, I will contact you.

nterva.mie.w

8

~

Follow this column as we coach three people towards landing a new job and beyond.

Whether or not you are looking for a job or to employ anyone, you won’t want to miss the important advice and insights from this column.

Looking forward to your emails at Maurice@ amimagazine.org

SPECIAL PRICE FOR AMI READERS!

$137 * FREE SHIPPING special price only on askmaurice.com

Package includes: 10 CD’s with case 1 Transcript 1 Action Guide 1 Business Ideas Book 1 Inspirational Poster

Order yours today at: Available at the following locations: Boro Park Eichler’s

Flatbush Eichler’s

Williamsburg Meoros

Monsey Merkaz

Lakewood Judaica Plaza

We at Telego would like to wish a wonderful, productive New Year to all of our valued clients, including the

Ami

We appreciate your confidence in us.

‫חג שמח‬

For more info visit www.telego.com/signup or call 212.477.1000

EXQUISITE!

DINING LIVING BEDROOMS CHOSSON KALLAH PACKAGES CUSTOM FURNITURE

WISHING ALL OUR CUSTOMERS

‫א גמר חתימה טובה‬

TEL: 718-851-3977 4301 NEW UTRECHT AVE SUN-THURS: 12-6 WED: 12-7

by John Loftus

98 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

The Case against Assad The evidence that Syria’s leader is complicit in chemical attacks against civilians— despite what he says

by John Loftus

Y

ou have to laugh at the wholesale babbling out of both sides of their mouths that has come from the chattering classes: The alleged journalists of the American media and the lies of the politicians who love to have it both ways. On the one hand, we are told that President Obama is a war-mongering neo-fascist who is seeking to drag us into another illegal, unauthorized war in the Middle East. On the other hand, they say President Obama is a limp-wristed peacenik who is surrendering to a Syrian dictator, kowtowing to the Chinese communists, ingratiating himself to the Russians and betraying Israel, America’s only true friend in the Middle East.

The bewildered press simply does not know what sense to make of this scenario, where staunch congressional Republicans like John McCain and Ileana Ros-Lehtinen support President Obama’s authority to bomb Damascus while other members of the GOP attack Obama as either too soft on Syria or too hard-line for recklessly risking yet another unpopular war. The progressive wing of the Democratic Party is just as stringent, shouting that all wars are bad, and the conservative wing is just as insistent that sometimes war happens because we do nothing to stop it when

his own people in the city of Hama, Syria, by means of poison gas. The world did nothing then, which taught Assad’s son that mass murder by poison gas is a perfectly acceptable last-ditch method of preserving power.

From previous experience, the Assad family knows that the western states may preach and prance a bit, but will soon forget their crimes. Assad’s son knows that doing nothing is the West’s sullen way of rewarding his tough-minded decision to climb back in power over the bodies of babies. He thinks the world admires him as a tough leader. Maybe some in the Arab world do, but few elsewhere.

The Assad family does not take opinion polls. They do not suffer fair elections. They suppress the free expression of political opinion. The Assads answer only to one master, and he is in Moscow. Those who clamor for the Russians to save us from another war are overlooking one salient point. It was the Russians who gave the Assads the poison gas in the first place, and it is the Russians who have authorized each and every use of chemical weapons by the Assads.

President Putin, peacemaker/political boss for life, is the man behind the murders, not the man trying to stop them. A decade ago, one of Putin’s generals (now deceased) was placed in charge of destroying the Russian chemical weapons stockpile.

The general found it easier (and more profitable) simply to sell the chemical weapons to the Syrians. After all, that is what Russia helped Saddam do in Iraq.

The Russians embarrassed President Bush by shipping all the Russian-made, Russian-stockpiled poison gas over the Iraqi border into Syria. If Syria uses poison gas, it is because Moscow not only has approved its use, but sold it to them.

In fact, there is some small circumstantial evidence that suggests that the Syrian army may have fired off some of Saddam’s old stockpile when they gassed the rebel neighborhoods on August 21, 2013. Unlike fine wine, Sarin nerve gas does not age well. The longer it sits on a shelf, the weaker it gets.

One voice intercept confirms that the Syrian military command was a bit surprised that these particular munitions were still so lethal as to cause so many casualties in Damascus. “Still” implies that the Sarin had been made a long time before. As I said, it is just circumstantial evidence.

The Assad family does not take opinion polls. They do not suffer fair elections. we can, like in Syria.

Moderates in both parties are muddled, honestly not knowing what to believe but hearing that most of their constituents back home want no part of any US military involvement with Syria. Nagging at their conscience is the notion that doing nothing about Syrian use of nerve gas may be the wrong place to compromise. If one side says two and two make four, and the other side says two and two make six, you cannot compromise and say two and two make five.

Putin and Hussein’s Gift to Assad It comes down to this: Should Syria be punished for using nerve gas, or rewarded? There is no middle ground on this. It is a zero-sum game and someone has to be wrong, dead wrong. I think that doing nothing is wrong, dead wrong. Back in the day, President Bashar Assad’s father, Hafez al-Assad, killed 40,000 of 100 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

Rebels Cooking Up Chemical Weapons But there is more. My old friend Yossef (Seffy) Bodansky published an astounding column that suggested that the poison gas used in Damascus may actually have been homemade “kitchen Sarin” made by the rebels in a false flag attempt to drag America

more actively into the war on the rebels’ side. Bodansky points to as-yet-unpublished chemical analysis data showing that the Sarin used was of extremely poor quality, not at all like the pristine poison that emerges from a modern binary military weapon such as the nerve agent known as VX. We should know by the end of September 2013 if there was in fact something wrong with the Sarin used in Damascus.

The UN inspectors will submit their detailed technical analysis after exhaustive and painstaking laboratory analysis. I suspect that it is more likely that the early field tests described to Bodansky that showed “kitchen Sarin” were merely the result of lab error that mistook a pure form of military Sarin that had degraded over time.

Saddam’s regime, by the way, was notorious for cutting so many corners that the Iraqi process for weaponization of Sarin contained so many impurities that its lethality decayed very rapidly. It is possible that the Syrian voice intercept could be interpreted to show that they were surprised that Saddam’s old Sarin stockpile still had so much kick to it. Many in the West simply refuse to believe that Saddam ever had any chemical weaponry, let alone that he might have sold it to the Syrians just before the Americans came in.

A UN lab test confirming the presence of aged Sarin would also point the finger back at the Saddam era, and would also explain why there were so few fatalities among the first responders. In fact, there were so few secondary casualties among the doctors, nurses and grieving parents that at first I thought that Sarin’s sister gas, Soma, may have been used because of its greater tendency toward evaporation and non-persistence.

So, if Seffy Bodansky is right and the UN labs confirm that it was newly made ”kitchen Sarin” and not aged military Sarin, then all heck will break loose.

The Assads would have no reason to make crude, homemade, less-than-pure “kitchen Sarin.” Only the rebels would do that. Then we are back to the false flag conspiracy theory: The rebels made their own Sarin and gassed their own rebel neighborhoods to stir up world outrage against the Assads.

by John Loftus

It is not such a crackpot theory. Seffy has a stack of Turkish voice intercepts allegedly showing that rebel logistical officers in Turkey were told to send every bit of weaponry they could to the Syrian rebels because something would happen soon that would be “war changing.” The rebel supply officers were allegedly told to rush any and all advance weapons to the rebels in Damascus to take advantage of an upcoming “American bombing” campaign.

Well, “significant, if true” as the old spies say. I would like to see the date-stamp on those voice intercepts. I would like for someone to interview the alleged Turkish supply officers, not to mention their American counterparts, who allegedly approved the release of the rebel weapons—weapons that had previously been under “tight American control” to prevent the Islamist rebel faction from gaining access.

Soviet-Style “Disinformatsiya” Bodansky is the genuine article—a genius-level Middle East analyst with a proven track record. He is the guy who wrote the book warning the world about Bin Laden before the 9/11 attacks.

I spent a night in Jerusalem tossing back a few with Seffy, and I admire him enormously, even if he does mumble. That is not his fault. If his jaw had not been fractured by a rifle-propelled grenade while serving with the Israel Defense Forces, Seffy could have been the star terrorism analyst for any news network. As it was, he became the chief Congressional consultant on counterterrorism. He is that smart.

Still, an analyst is only as good as his data. “Garbage in, garbage out,” as the computer wonks say. Seffy may have received completely counterfeit data falsely implicating the rebels, instead of the Assad regime, in the poison gas attack. It has been confirmed absolutely that the Russians have launched a large-scale campaign of deceit and deception to blame the rebels for Assad’s war crime.

This campaign of strategic lying is called “disinformatsiya” by Russian intelligence. At first, the Russians tried to claim that Assad did not have chemical weapons. People laughed at that. Then the Russians issued a 100-page report claiming that the rebels had gassed their own people just to hurt Assad’s reputation.

Sending false intercept data to Bodansky would have been entirely consistent with previous Russian practices. Just ask Jonathan Pollard. In a desperate attempt to shift suspicion toward Pollard and away from the two Russian superspies in the CIA and the FBI, the Russians planted what we now know was false evidence in multiple agencies, including the CIA’s own secret archives in their underground vaults in West Virginia. Planting phony intercept data on Bodansky would have been a piece of cake by comparison.

I think the Russians have gone all out with their deception campaign for several reasons. First, an extensive UN probe into the history of Syrian acquisition of chemical weapons will eventually lead back to Russia, as a guilty party to a war crime before and 102 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

The protestors in Germany

after the fact. The Russians have tried to hide their illegal sale of chemical weapon precursors to Assad behind Czech and Ukrainian front companies, but everybody in the weapons community already knows that it was the Russians who were behind it all.

Still, there is little direct, admissible, unclassified evidence of Russian complicity with the Syrian chemical weapons industry. If UN inspectors enter Syria and find poison gas factories stamped “Made in Москва,” then the Russians might find themselves charged in the International Criminal Court as proliferators of banned weapons of mass destruction. Not good for Putin’s image to be exposed as just another KGB thug selling chemical weapons on the side. So that is one possible reason for the Russians to lie.

Another reason might be that the Russians are genuinely afraid that Assad might lose this civil war to the rebels, and with the Assads goes Russia’s treaty for a warm water port on Syria’s Mediterranean coast. The Russian Navy desperately needs a full-service repair port in a harbor that does not freeze up every winter.

The Russian military will do anything—anything—to keep the Assads in power, even authorizing him to use poison gas as a desperate last stand against the rebels.

Russian Stamp of Approval If you think President Assad would launch a chemical weapons attack without first getting permission from Moscow, then I have a bridge in Brooklyn to sell you. The Assads, father and son, are creatures of the Russian military. Assad’s father became president during a Russian-backed coup. The Russians removed Assad’s predecessor because he launched the Black September military operation against Jordan without Russian permission. Assad Senior was chosen as the new Russian front man in Syria because of his “slavish devotion” to Moscow’s orders. Assad Senior refused to let the Syrian Air Force support the Syrian ground invasion, thus dooming it to defeat. That’s how he became president, betraying his own countrymen on Russian orders.

Like his Daddy, Assad Junior knows who his real boss is. He would not dream of launching weapons of mass destruction

against anyone without explicit permission from the Russians.

Is it possible that the rebels gassed themselves, as the Russians claim? Heck no; there are at least four major military surveillance posts that recorded exactly where the Sarin missiles were fired, and exactly where they landed. The Americans and British have huge radar systems at Incirlik Air Base in Turkey, as well as extremely advanced radar systems inside Israel, Jordan and Cyprus.

Once the rockets go up, we know just where they come down.

Tracking is better since Werner von Braun. We have drone surveillance and overhead satellites that keep a constant eye on Syrian depots for weapons of mass destruction. Not only do the rebels not have any rocket units, they had no units at all in the places from which the chemical weapons rockets were launched.

Each of the twelve launch points was from a known, confirmed Syrian military site. No doubt whatsoever.

One Last Excuse The peaceniks (a strange mix of leftist progressives and Republican radicals) have a fallback argument. Yes, they now concede that Syria has chemical weapons of mass destruction (even the Syrians admit it now). And, yes, the peaceniks also concede that Syrian civilians were killed with these chemical weapons (as the UN has already confirmed). But still, the peaceniks squirm for wiggle room with alternative arguments.

First they adopt the now abandoned Russian scheme of claiming that the rebels did it. Hey, even the Russians know that lie won’t last past the UN lab results, so they are preparing the final

fallback lie: Yes, Syrian officers fired chemical weapons at Syrian civilians, but President Assad knew nothing about it. Indeed, there is exonerating evidence to show that at one time Assad had expressly prohibited his soldiers from firing chemical weapons.

And yes, there is evidence, hard evidence, that Assad said “no chemical weapons” more than once. For the last several months, a German spy ship, the SS ORKA, has been patrolling back and forth along the Lebanese-Syrian coast of the Mediterranean Sea. The ORKA, equipped with sensitive antenna arrays and the best electronic surveillance equipment that Siemens can devise, has voice recordings of some very interesting phone calls in their data bank.

These German intelligence recordings show that the Syrian Air Force’s Chemical Weapon section, known as Unit 430, has been begging President Assad for permission to use poison gas against the rebels. They said that the Syrian Army would not win a civil war of attrition if they had to fight through a rat’s nest of narrow streets and alleyways in the rebels’ urban strongholds. The best way to get the rebel rats out of their neighborhoods is to gas them out.

Time and again, President Assad said no, that he would not permit the use of chemical weapons. These tapes, suggest a popular German pulp rag, prove that Assad was innocent! Someone else must have done it: a rogue general perhaps, or maybe even the rebels. The problem with this theory is the ORKA’s final tape, which the German paper does not know about.

The ORKA reported recording a phone call from a Lebanese

This is my son Duddy.

He is Downs syndrome.

We're different, but no different, than other families.

Duddy was difficult today and his sister Sarah couldn’t deal with it. She threw a tantrum and ran out of the house. I have to expect anger and resentment, but when it explodes like a volcano I am not mentally and emotionally equipped. When Sarah came home, I put my arms around her and hugged her and let her cry. It’s all I can do. What can I say?

The most important way I can help my children is to explain that we still have a strong family unit.

Our situation is different – but our family is no different than other families.

The Project Refuah Mini-Hotel is a family saver. My husband and I had so little time for ourselves, we were growing apart. But already we were able to have Duddy stay at the Mini-Hotel – once even for Shabbos. Not having the 24/7 stress and pressure allows us to communicate our feelings. It’s made a world of a difference to our family.

I never intended to be a hero, but now I need your help.

Call now to give our family a break:

718.697.7177 • www.projectrefuah.org Endorsed by many Gedolim. More info on our website.

1310 48th Street Brooklyn, NY 11219

by John Loftus

Hezbollah commander who had just come back from Damascus before the gas attack. The terrorist liaison reported that President Assad had finally given in and authorized a chemical weapons strike. But in the opinion of the Hezbollah terrorist, “This was a big mistake” by President Assad. No kidding.

Of course it was Assad himself who gave the order to use poison gas. No one else could do so. There was a spy inside Unit 430 who was there when the order to use poison gas was received from Assad. In fact, the spy actually videotaped the Syrian soldiers filling the rockets with poison gas. Obama delayed several days until the spy could make his way out of Syria to deliver the videotape to US intelligence. The inside spy may be a Syrian Druze working for the Mossad, which would explain why the videotape cannot be played on CNN. But my sources confirm to me absolutely that the videotape exists.

The Russians and the Assads know that Obama has the videotape and the voiceprints from the ORKA, and a lot more. We have drone surveillance footage of the Syrian trucks leaving the Unit 430 Munitions Depot and delivering the Sarin to the launch points. We have satellite tracking of the rockets from the launch points to their targets in the rebel-held civilian neighborhoods of Damascus. Soon, we will have the UN lab results showing the exact composition of the nerve gas that was used.

this will play out within 30 days. Watch for reluctant Russian acquiescence to a Security Council resolution authorizing the UN to use Article VII force if Assad fails to comply. An Article VII resolution means the whole world has the right to go to war with Syria if he hides chemical weapons.

Obama is playing his cards close to the vest, suckering the GOP in, giving them every opportunity to sabotage a sitting president during a time of military crisis. Remember that the Republicans have been offered a much more detailed intelligence briefing than I have suggested here. Every time one of them opens his or her mouth on TV to undercut the president, the worse it could look for them a month from now when the American people finally get to see all or most of the intelligence gathered by our friends for the UN. Right now, the Republicans are deliberately downplaying that intelligence for political reasons. It could come back to haunt them. We could be heading for the hilarious possibility that the weak-willed UN might authorize military action ahead of the GOP-controlled Congress.

Election Day is coming, and Americans hate hypocrites. Worse, President Obama might be able to destroy all the chemical weapons in Syria without firing a single shot. What a diplomatic coup that would be for the Democrats; what a political stake through the GOP’s heart.

Republicans (and some Democrats) should be careful about asking the President for more and more information to show why we should use force against Assad. Be careful what you wish for.

The members of Congress already know from the closed-door briefings that Obama and Kerry are on the right side of the facts.

The President’s opponents are wrong to withhold their honest assessment from the voters and pretend that there is not enough valid, confirmed intelligence to justify force. Americans hate hypocrites.

There was a spy inside [Syria’s chemical weapons unit] when the order to use poison gas was received.

An Honest Assessment Obama, with the help of Israel, Germany, France and Britain, has assembled a solid criminal case of war crimes by means of chemical weapons, and he can prove his case beyond a reasonable doubt. No wonder the Russians grasped at Kerry’s suggestion for a way out. But Obama is playing a strong hand and he knows it. He will not accede to a Russian condition to keep Assad on the throne, or even agree not to use force against him in the future.

The Russians know that their clock is running. Things have to happen quickly. Assad needs to ratify the chemical weapons inspection treaty, make a list declaring the location and amounts of all chemical weapons, and then admit inspectors to verify. I think 104 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

•

Attorney John Loftus, author of America’s Nazi Secret, is a retired Army officer, intelligence analyst, and federal prosecutor. He previously held a Q clearance for nuclear top secrets while working for the US government.

By Yossi Krausz

THE ROAD FORWARD FROM DIVORCE A new organization is helping divorced men create a better future for themselves and their children

A

few years ago, a friend of mine told me about something that happened to him at his wedding. An older rav came over and hugged him and said, “May the two of you be as happy for the rest of your lives as you are today.”

My friend blanched. He and his kallah had been having second thoughts about the wedding practically up to the chupah.

Neither one was feeling particularly confident about the future.

The rabbi’s blessing sounded more like a curse.

If it’s hard to know what lies in the heart of a chasan, it’s certainly hard, if not harder, to know what lies in the heart of a man who has just been divorced. The process itself can be traumatic, and worries about money, children and other concerns can be overwhelming.

In our communities, though, we sometimes think of divorced men quite differently. A divorced man, even one with children, is often seen as a carefree loafer or antisocial loser, for no reason other than the fact that he is divorced. Divorced men, like divorced women, are frequently prejudged. And while that in itself is bad enough, it can also affect their lives in other ways. At the very least, it can make them not just alone but also lonely.

Thankfully, for the past few years several organizations have sprung up working to alleviate the plight of divorced women.

But no similar organization had tackled the problems of divorced men, until now.

A new group, named Achim B’Derech, initially started for Yiddish-speaking divorced men, is beginning to revolutionize their lives as well as the lives of their children. And the founders of the group have ambitious plans to change the way the Jewish world approaches divorce altogether.

Yoeli Brach

"The relationship with the father begins to suffer. That’s why we’re arranging gatherings for fathers and sons.”

A FOUNDER WITH EXPERIENCE I recently met with Yoeli Brach and Rabbi Yoel Asher Labin in Ami’s offices. Yoeli is tall and lanky, while Rabbi Labin is more compact. And whereas Rabbi Labin—an askan and a well-known columnist in the Yiddish media—is excitable and effusive, Yoeli—who works in the medical supply industry—is calm and collected.

Achim B’Derech is the brainchild of Yoeli, who is divorced. Rabbi Labin has dedicated himself to helping him see his vision through, although he himself is not divorced.

The story of the organization, Yoeli tells me, started two years ago, when his marriage ended. The difficulties that he saw other people also going through made him realize that a support group for divorced men was a necessity.

“There was already a group like that for women, and I thought that the same thing could be done for men. I started talking to other people and everyone said it was a good idea. But when you’re divorced, you don’t have the courage or audacity to make new initiatives. Some people were already remarried and were busy with their new lives and didn’t have time for it.” So he took it upon himself to take action.

“I saw how every divorced man is a churban. Divorced men don’t live well or feel good about themselves. They’re alone in the world. A lot of young people who are really just starting out in life feel that their entire lives are defined by being divorced.

“A lot of people who get divorced just

108 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

sit at home. They don’t go to simchos. They don’t go to shul. They’re embarrassed.

They blame themselves. They think everyone is looking at them. I saw a need to bring everyone together to share their experiences.”

The organization was started this past December. Yoeli says he had no prior experience as an askan. “I just felt that this was important. I had a passion for it and jumped right in.”

Working out the framework of the organization with rabbanim, askanim, social workers and others took some time. With the help of Rabbi Labin, Yaakov Yosef Ostreicher, Yitzchok Altman and others, Yoeli carefully put together a board so that decisions wouldn’t be made by an individual.

In the nine months of its existence, some 300 divorced men have already become involved.

Their group has received the support of numerous rabbonim, including the Karlsburger Rav, Rav Yechezkel Roth; the Kosover Rebbe, Rav Shraga Hager; and the Munkatcher Rebbe.

While Yoeli’s goal is to expand his group to all chareidi communities, he started with the Yiddish-speaking community he knows best.

In fact, the project has become more than what he first envisioned. It’s not merely a support group; it encompasses initiatives from counseling for men about the legal aspects of divorce, to programs to help divorced fathers maintain a healthy relationship with their children, to the mundane yet necessary task of finding Shabbos meals for divorced men. There are mentoring programs for the newly divorced as well as smaller group sessions with a social worker for men with children.

On average, there are programs now

being held every other week, in addition to several major annual events.

In a general sense, they’re fighting the stigma of divorce. “There is a mitzvah to get a get when the relationship is untenable,” Rabbi Labin says. “If someone’s life is torture, a get may be necessary. Of course, we don’t just throw away a marriage.

“Why is a man identified as a ‘garush’?

There are thousands of other factors in his life making up who he is. Why is he identified only by that?”

(Rabbi Labin claims that the word ‘garush,’ often used in chasidishe communities to identify a divorced man, is pejorative, based on its use in the Torah, and says that they’ve been thinking about other terms that could replace it.)

Part of what makes Yoeli Brach’s vision exciting is explained by the name of the organization, Achim B’Derech, which means “brothers along the way.” The idea is that divorce should not be the final status or self-definition of these men.

Rather, they’re on an ongoing journey to a more permanent and better identity.

For many men, Yoeli and Rabbi Labin tell me, part of that journey involves remarriage. So shidduchim for divorced men is a large part of what they’ve been working on.

GETTING TOGETHER In person, as in his writing, Rabbi Labin has a flair for presentation. Sitting in the office, he gave a contrarian argument for why shadchanim should favor divorced men.

“A get can happen for many reasons, and it doesn’t mean that the man is different or worse than anyone else. Actually, in a way divorced men are better because they’ve been shaken up by their experience and have been trying to improve themselves because of it and learn from their mistakes.”

Yoeli Brach seemed amused by Rabbi Labin’s somewhat counterintuitive assertion. But in fact, removing the stigma associated with divorced men when it comes to shidduchim is a major focus of the group.

Its first large gathering was held in a hotel in Monsey this past March, with a number of shadchanim present. Several shidduchim have already resulted from the gathering.

According to Rabbi Labin, “The best thing about that first meeting was just taking away the feeling of isolation. There were around 100 men, all kinds of people, just like any other gathering. They may have been divorced, but they felt like normal people in a normal group.

“Divorcés feel like they’re the only ones in their situation. They start losing trust in themselves. When they see a lot of other normal people in the same situation and shmooze with them, they understand each other and can be mechazek each other.

Rabbi Yoel Asher Labin

Everything becomes open, and I think that’s much healthier.”

Yoeli Brach said that the response to the first event was encouraging. “I got a lot of positive feedback, so I decided to do another one. I arranged a cruise for the 15th of Av. There were over 150 divorced men in attendance. It was beautiful.”

These larger events are in addition to smaller ones, like informal kumzitzin with rabbanim, social workers and other professionals.

Yoeli Brach explained to me that at present there is only one shadchan in the chasidic world who specializes in shidduchim for divorced people. So showing other shadchanim that divorced men are worthy of being added to their lists is vital to helping these men move on in life.

But introducing divorcés to shadchanim is only the tip of the iceberg.

A LIST AND MORE One of the most exciting ideas the two men told me about is an initiative that sounds so simple it’s surprising it hasn’t been done until now: a database for making matches.

“All of the information about the divorced men and women is entered into the database,” Yoeli said. “But that information is available only to shadchanim.”

This is unlike a dating website, where the prospective matches access the information themselves.

Part of the process of getting your name into the database involves a personal interview with a shadchan/mentor.

“Everyone who wants his or her name in the system must meet with someone and clarify what he or she is looking for: someone with kids or without, yichus or not, with money or it’s not so important, where you want to live and assorted other requirements and priorities. The person you sit with goes through a list of items that shadchanim can see on the database.

“There are a lot of people who know how to make matches. Without the proper resources, though, they can’t make them.

This system, which was launched at our last big event, gives them the names and information they need. The software is actually quite expensive.”

Yoeli says that the database is growing steadily. This computerized way of networking, of course, is only in addition to the old-fashioned method. “We plan on holding more events for yungeleit to meet shadchanim,” Rabbi Labin added.

CHILDREN Yoeli Brach says he sees a natural divide among the men in the group.

110 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

“On the one hand you have young people who were only married a short while and never had children, and then there are the older men who are fathers.

I see it as two totally separate categories.

The dividing line isn’t age; it’s whether or not they have children. Once you have to start dealing with the issue of children, your experience of divorce is completely different.”

There are already several organizations for children of divorced parents, and Yoeli didn’t want to replicate their work.

He did feel, however, that it was important to focus on the relationship between divorced fathers and their children.

The first step is making sure that the father himself is settled. “The first thing we do is get people to come to the support groups, shmooze and begin enjoying life. Then we talk about how to deal with kids,” Rabbi Labin says.

The problem for many divorced fathers is often based on simple logistics, Yoeli says. “In many cases, when the son goes to live with the mother, the relationship with the father begins to suffer. That’s why we’re arranging gatherings for fathers and sons.”

Yoeli says that society’s view of his situation is often frustrating. “I feel like I’m engaged in a war against stigma. It’s very sad to hear people say that a child is from a ‘broken home.’ Why is it called ‘broken’?

Why does a kid have to overhear that his home is a problem?

“The therapist Shlomo Ehrlich [who is also a member of the board] has argued that statistics show that most at-risk kids do not come from divorced homes. They come from homes where there is no shalom bayis or from homes where the parents are fighting after a get. When the parents don’t fight, the kids aren’t affected. On the contrary, they see that the marriage didn’t work and the parents had the strength to separate the Torah way.”

In fact, he says, parenting doesn’t necessarily have to suffer because of a divorce, and can actually be better in some ways.

“A divorced man may see his kids only a

“The Only Place with Fully Detached Houses”

We Now accept Chol Hamoed Appointments

While they are careful not to promote divorce, they insist that if it has to be done it should be done correctly. few hours a week, but he can make sure to give them his very best.”

Yoeli Brach conceded that sometimes unique issues arise. “For example, what do you do for a kid’s bar mitzvah? Sometimes both parents make separate affairs.

Which one should the school tell the friends to go to? Both? The mosdos don’t know. The menahel of a yeshivah once asked me for advice on that.

“There’s also an issue with camp. Chasidishe camps allow kids to go home for one Shabbos. But in the case of a divorce, they may need to go home for two Shabbbosim.

The directors of a camp once asked me what to do in a case like that.”

In fact, it is the need for education that has led Yoeli to what may be his most ambitious project.

112 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

A HOW-TO GUIDE TO DIVORCE Rabbi Labin describes the idea as “Divorce for Dummies,” likening it to the popular series of how-to guides.

Yoeli Brach explained: “As it stands now, most husbands and wives have no idea what’s supposed to happen in a divorce.

It can take weeks and months to find out what the standards are. So we got the idea to produce a manual that covers everything someone going through a divorce needs to know. People don’t know what they’re doing, and that leads to big fights and wastes millions of dollars. Every case is different, but most divorces involving normal people follow the same rules.

People need to know what the rules are, which will make it much easier on them.”

While they are careful not to promote divorce, they insist that if it has to be done it should be done correctly. “They shouldn’t be reinventing the process of gittin every time,” Rabbi Labin says.

The manual also aims to provide practical and sensible guidelines for schools, camps and other organizations for dealing with children of divorce.

Producing the manual, however, is a tremendous project, Yoeli says, and he’s being very cautious about it. “It will need to be reviewed by a rav, a lawyer, a therapist and a mediator. We’ve just starting working on the first draft. But there’s definitely a great need for something like this.”

He says that a general attitude adjustment about gittin is part of what he is aiming for. “I want people to know that there isn’t a ‘guilty party’ in every divorce.

In most cases, there is no ‘bad guy.’”

That view is mirrored in the way Achim B’Derech’s group activities have been set up. Yoeli told me he knows several men who feel that their reputations were damaged because some women’s groups end up becoming a forum for complaining about their ex-spouses, and he was determined that the men in his program would not be able to do that to their ex-wives, or sit around giving each other ideas on how

CHOL HAMOED SUKKOS 5774 NATIONWIDE SHOWINGS

“ThiAwe-Inspiring ” sC ! d e o m hol Ha

Chol Hamoed Showings far rockaway Yeshiva Darchei Torah,

Los angeles

bais yaakov of LA, 7353 Beverly blvd

“Fascinating for all ages” motzei shabbos

Men & Ladies: 8:00

sunday

“beneficial

yidden

Men: 2:00 | ladies: 4:30 Men: 7:00 | Ladies: 9:30

Ladies: 2:00 | Men: 4:30 Ladies: 7:00 | Men: 9:30

chicago

flatbush

Ohr Shraga D’Veretsky, 1102 Ave L

motzei shabbos Men & Ladies: 9:30

sunday

Men & Ladies: 7:00, 9:15

miami

Congregation Shaaray Tefilah, 971 NE 172nd St

for all

Ladies: 2:00 | Men: 4:30 Ladies: 7:00 | Men: 9:30

tuesday

Men & Ladies: 9:15

monday

Men: 9:30

monday

Diamond Auditorium

motzei shabbos

Shaarei Tzedek, 2832 West Touhy

sunday

Men & Ladies: 8:0o Chicago Community Kollel, 6506 n. california ave

motzei shabbos Men: 9:00

denver

Beth Jacob High School, 5100 West 14th Ave

monday

Ladies: 7:45

motzei shabbos Men: 9:30

monday

Men & Ladies: 8:15 immediately following maariv

sunday

Men: 2:00 | ladies: 4:30 Men: 7:00 | Ladies: 9:30

monday

monsey

Yeshiva Spring Valley Girls, 142 Grandview Ave

alike Ladies: 2:00 | Men: 4:30 Ladies: 7:00 | Men: 9:30

tuesday

motzei shabbos Men & Ladies: 9:30

Ladies: 2:00 | Men: 4:30 Ladies: 7:00 | Men: 9:30 Bnei Binyomin

sunday

Men & Ladies: 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30

monday

motzei shabbos

Men & Ladies: 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30

monday

Men & Ladies: 2:00, 4:30, 7:00, 9:30

Lakewood bais shaindel, 685 River Ave

Downtown ohel Malkah, 5583 Jeanne Nance

motzei shabbos

Men & Ladies: 7:30

sunday

Men & Ladies: 7:30

monday

Uptown

BY Seminary, 2195 Ekers Ave

Men & ladies: 9:15 Men & ladies: 8:30

tuesday

montreal sunday

captivating relive the

“

Aish Denver, 9550 East Bellview Ave

Men: 9:30

monday

Men & ladies: 7:45

sunday

Men: 2:00 | ladies: 4:30 Men: 7:00 | Ladies: 9:30

detroit

Ladies: 2:00 | Men: 4:30 Ladies: 7:00 | Men: 9:30

yeshiva bais yehuda boys building upstairs

Park Terrace, 200 park ave

sunday

motzei shabbos

men: 8:30

edison

Reenas BY, 1131 Raritan Ave

sunday

ladies: 8:00

ladies: 9:30

motzei shabbos Men & Ladies: 9:30

sunday

Men & Ladies: 8:30

approximately 1:50 hr run time | recommended ages 11 and older Special family rate

see local ads for prices and showing times

illustrious life of

harav elyashiv

102 minute video presentation on 102 years of ‫ תורה‬in its purity full video production of the entire life of harav elyashiv with real photos, videos & vignettes directly from Gedolim & family of harav elyashiv

”

‫מסכת חיים‬ ‫ר‘ יוסף שלום אלישיב זצק”ל‬ to schedule a private showing or more info please call

732.305.2466

or email masecheschaim@gmail.com

”

rbcreativemg com / 732.526.3446

baltimore boro park Skvere Hall, 1373 and 43rd St

The group actively promotes the idea that fighting and backbiting is the worst possible route for a divorced couple to take. to avoid paying child support or other negative things. The organization Sisterto-Sister, he adds, has strongly discouraged such behavior among the women who attend their meetings.

“I get a lot of requests to make gettogethers for small groups,” he says. “Our policy is that everything we do must be under supervision. Someone has to be leading the meeting. It’s not just a gettogether to shmooze; it’s a meeting with a purpose. In that way, it always remains on a high level and can’t be brought down.

“The purpose of the group isn’t to complain about ex-wives. The attitude is always positive. We educate ourselves on how to overcome challenges and avoid fighting.”

Rabbi Labin says, “We don’t engage in hate speech. It’s people coming together and speaking about their future and their challenges in a positive way. We work to make their view positive in dealing with exes and kids.”

They also actively promote the idea that fighting and backbiting is the worst possible route for a divorced couple to take.

“The message should be that there are no exes with regard to kids,” Rabbi Labin says. “There’s only a father and mother.

Fighting and disagreement will only hurt the children. You won’t help one side by speaking badly about the other side. In the long run it will only cause damage.”

“When a person is married,” Yoeli says, “there’s communication between husband and wife. But after the divorce there’s no

communication, and you can’t really be melamed zechus on your ex-spouse. You don’t know what’s happening with your child. If the child is late or doesn’t show up for a visitation, you automatically get angry and want to fight back. But you really have no idea what might be causing the situation. We’re educating ourselves to take it easy and not get so upset.”

He says that it is often society’s inability to allow divorced people to move on that fuels difficulties.

“I think that in a lot of cases it isn’t the exes and their families who gossip and say bad things about each other. It’s the mikvah, the street, the yentas. It becomes a double nisayon for the divorced person.

He made an agreement to not criticize his ex-wife and to treat her with respect. But then he overhears people saying things and thinks it comes from her. So it’s a big

114 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

nisayon for him to judge her favorably.”

Changing how people think about divorce may help to alleviate that, a big part of which involves understanding what divorced people have to go through.

“Divorced people have to be strong,” Rabbi Labin says. “They walk into shul and know that people are talking about them. People can be two-faced and act like friends but talk behind their backs—and they know it. Nonetheless, they have to go around smiling and acting like everything is fine. In some ways, this can make them stronger and more confident.”

Combating the stigma of divorce is a huge goal that will no doubt require media attention. But the improved confidence divorced men can get, from speaking to others in the same boat, can go a long way toward changing attitudes, behavior and image. Reducing the rancor of the divorce process itself would also positively influence public opinion.

MOVING FORWARD There’s something very impressive about Yoeli Brach’s vision, which he has been implementing with the help of his board members, volunteers and Rabbi Labin. It is both radical, in terms of the scope of its objectives, and conservative, with regard to the care taken in working toward those goals. At the same time that he’s focusing on improving the lives of divorced men, he is careful to ensure his efforts won’t negatively impact the lives of their ex-wives or children. Rather than seeing these men in isolation, he’s working with them as members of klal Yisrael.

As Rabbi Labin pointed out at the end of our interview, the truth is that we are in dire need of askanus of this sort. Even if the percentages stay the same, as the community continues to grow, so too will the number of divorces. Creating a place for divorced men to find solace and encouragement, help with finding a new life partner when possible, and a way to make their children happier, will not only put the divorced men on a path to a better place. It will be better for all of us. 

THERE'S NOTHING AS SWEET AS A HEALTHY YEAR

...And Nobody Better Than Ezra to Provide It Wishing All Our Patients And Klal Yisroel A Year of Mazel, Brocho & Most Important Gezunt

Centered On You!

SCHOOL BASED DENTAL WOMEN'S HEALTH

DERMATOLOGY

PODIATRY INTERNAL MEDICINE

DENTISTRY

PEDIATRICS

OPTOMETRY

WHAT’S DIFFERENT EXPERTS WEIGH IN Achim B’Derech is working to help divorced men find others who are going through the same difficulties as themselves. But what is divorced men’s suffering like? We interviewed two mental health professionals who have worked with divorced men, about the ways in which men’s emotional experience of divorce is different from women’s.

Rabbi Shloime Ehrlich is certified in cognitive behavioral therapy and dialectical behavioral therapy. He is the director and founder of Ohr Layesharim, an organization for teens at risk, located in Monsey, New York. The father of a blended family himself, Rabbi Ehrlich is a member of the board of Achim B’Derech and is active in guiding the organization. He sees clients privately in his offices in Monsey and Boro Park.

Rabbi Ehrlich has also been active in Sister-to-Sister, a support organization for divorced women. His wife, a life coach, runs Sister-to-Sister in the Monsey area and serves as a counselor and second-time kallah teacher for divorced women. Rabbi Ehrlich says about his and his wife’s counseling of people who’ve been divorced, “This is our field.”

RABBI SHLOIME EHRLICH Divorce is a hard time for both men and women. There are problems for both.

But it says in the Gemara, in Kiddushin, “Tav l’meisav tan du mi'l'meisav armelu,” that a woman feels a need to get married more than a man. A divorcée, whether she admits it or not, has a harder time being alone than a man. Having said that, it is still very hard for a man to be single, though perhaps for different reasons than a woman, and in certain ways, it can be equally painful.

For some reason, the “street” believes negative statements about a man more than about a woman. Living in a tight-knit community, as we do, where the reputation is a person’s identification, can make that difficult for men. It certainly can go the other way, and whichever family is more dominant can cause the other side to be smeared. But as a general rule I do think that men suffer more from reputational attacks.

Women face difficulties in raising children on their own. First of all, that’s a physical difficulty. The one hour a husband comes home at night can make a big difference, as well as the time he spends with the children on Shabbos and Yom Tov. Women usually suffer financially as well, whether or not they’re receiving child support.

But men suffer from their inability to get through to their children.

Some men are cut off entirely from their children; others are better off.

But most divorced men who have children have major struggles getting through to their own flesh-and-blood. Men can suffer from this much more than women do. Even when a woman does listen to the custody or visitation agreement that they have—whether it is halachic or legal— there is always the fact that, for the man, the children aren’t home every day. A man generally gets to see his children only a few times a week, at the maximum. Most of the time, men do not get equal rights to their kids.

Chasidic men often go back to their parents’ homes and are welcomed graciously. But they still often suffer because they must move back home.

A man’s mother may say, “Where were you?” when he is out late, or his parents may say, “Don’t drive that car; it’s not good for shidduchim.” Their parents mean their comments for the best, but the men suffer. I recently spoke to a group of men about the parameters of kibud av va’eim in regard to these situations. Women also often get more help than men when they move back home—which they need.

It is also more socially acceptable for a woman to live on her own. If a divorced man lives on his own, everyone asks, “Why didn’t he go home?”

There is a question raised: Does he not get along with his parents? People

FOR MEN? see men and women differently in this way.

When a divorced man walks into shul, he knows that half of the people there probably blame him for the divorce, and the other half is probably confused about it. He may think everyone blames him. Either way—and whether he just feels that way or it is actually true—it can be hard to face. A lot of divorced men tell me that they have a hard time walking into anything but a quiet corner shul. That’s all because they’re basically going it alone.

When they come together with other people who are going through the same thing, that’s amazing.

Women know how to do this on their own. They talk for therapy. When women talk about shopping, they’re not really talking about their shoes.

They’re saying, “You know, I made a good choice.” They know how to share their emotions. Men don’t face their emotions as often—we hide them. But they are still there.

Dr. Nosson Solomon is a clinical psychologist in independent practice in Brooklyn, New York. Since receiving his PhD in 1977, he has held various clinical, consulting, administrative and teaching positions. He has served as director of psychology/director of clinical training, children and youth services at Kingsboro Psychiatric Center (1978-9); director of the Boro Park office of Jewish Board of Family and Children’s Services (1979-86); and consulting psychologist at Ohel Children’s Home and Family Services (1983-96). He serves on the Task Force on Children and Families at Risk in the Orthodox Community. He is past president of NEFESH International and represents that organization at the Brooklyn Youth Council.

DR. NOSSON SOLOMON We know that the mortality rate among divorced men is higher than among divorced women. Men have a tougher time with divorce than women do. It’s a mistake to say that women are the weaker gender. They seem to be able to roll with the punches better than men do.

Men don’t do a good job of taking care of themselves. Those kinds of self-care skills aren’t the forte of men in our community, or probably in any community. Divorced men often don’t know how to cook, so they don’t eat well and their health is not so good. That’s probably responsible in part for the higher mortality rates.

Of course, the loneliness is immense. Most often, the children are not with the fathers, so the men are deprived of that source of gratification and affection. They lead a very Spartan life, and loneliness is a tremendous challenge for these people.

The men have less of a burden than the women do—I think that’s almost always true—but they’re also lonelier.

Their social lives are limited. If they don’t belong to a support organization [like Achim B’Derech], all of their friends are married. They may be invited out for Shabbos, but many men see that as an insult to their independence. And then if they do go, they’re different from everyone else. It’s back to being a bachur again. That’s not so different from what a woman experiences. Being single is experienced as a trauma to one’s growth.

My bias is that a person who has been through a divorce generally needs therapy to find out why it didn’t work, and to find out how to make the next one work. There’s a difference across the board between men and women in therapy. Women are more open. In my practice, women change faster.

Therapy is just easier for them. In our culture, therapy is a big comedown for men. It has a big impact on their self-image.

In our culture, men are supposed to be strong and not need any help. That’s a problem in cases of divorce, because they are not allowed to grieve or tell people they need support; it’s acceptable for women to ask people for support.

Women also do better in therapy because they tend to be what we call internalizers. They take blame on themselves, and they’re much more ready to take responsibility. You can only change if you take responsibility for whatever has happened.

Sometimes women take too much responsibility.

On the other hand, speaking broadly, men are externalizers. They tend to attribute problems in their lives to things outside themselves. So therapy is generally more difficult for them.

By Rabbi Yitzchok Frankfurter

The Defender of the Deceased A conversation with Rav Dovid Schmidel of Asra Kadisha

O

ne of the thrills of getting to know a public figure is in discovering how little the world really knows about him. And that “little” usually has no semblance to who he truly is. We form opinions about others with a pittance of information, and usually without any firsthand knowledge or concrete evidence. Then, of course, we run with it.

Few know Rav Dovid Schmidel, the revered personage I merited speaking with, yet many have opinions about him. And most ironically, those opinions have not always been very positive.

And yet, kavod hameis, showing proper respect to the deceased and their remains, a cause to which Rav Dovid has dedicated his life, has always been one of the defining characteristics of the Jewish people. The concept is deeply rooted in halachah, and finds its expression in countless Jewish laws and rituals.

Nevertheless, having been influenced by the secular media and the anti-Orthodox blogosphere, few Jewish people today appreciate the

heroic efforts of those who seek to ensure that the proper respect is paid to the dead. Quite the opposite—those who labor selflessly to stop grave desecration are disdained and derided as extremists. The reasons are complex and manifold. In addition to the prejudiced reporting of the general press, their activities often clash with the interests of real estate developers and moguls. Grave desecration at Israeli construction sites has always been a problem, but its pervasiveness increased significantly after 1967 with the enormous increase of real estate development in and around Jerusalem.

Asra Kadisha (the Committee for the Preservation of Gravesites), which was established by the Brisker Rav, Rav Yitzchak Ze’ev Soloveitchik, zt”l, in 1959 as a response to excavations at Beit Shearim, has been headed for many years by Rav Dovid Schmidel. Over the past 30 years, through protests and other means, this organization has accomplished much in preserving Jewish gravesites and cemeteries throughout the world. However, some of the protests and demonstrations Asra Kadisha has organized at various archaeological

Rav Dovid Schmidel

digs and construction sites have resulted in rock throwing and arrests; allegations of undue militancy and chillul Hashem have often been hurled against it. Recent internal skirmishes haven’t been helpful either.

There are other factors at play as well.

Various decisors from the Religious Zionist camp have ruled that any activity or project that adds beauty (“tiferet”) to the Land of Israel is deemed a “public benefit,” and bones can therefore be removed from the site. These types of rulings, which no recognized Torah authority accepts, have provided a carte blanche for the indiscriminate exhumation of bones for virtually any type of construction activity in Israel, and have brought even religious Israelis to regard all of the Asra Kadisha’s activities as being over a non-issue.

To dedicate one’s life to this incomparably worthy cause in such an environment requires a sharp mind, a will of steel and a heart of gold. Rav Dovid possesses all those qualities.

It’s not surprising. Rav Dovid has enjoyed a close relationship over the years with countless gedolim. While not a direct talmid of either the Chazon Ish or the Brisker Rav, Rav Dovid was close to both

of them, and frequently consulted them.

“In the last years of the Chazon Ish's life I used to go to him a lot and I became close to him,” Rav Dovid shares with me. “After his petirah, I used to speak to the Brisker Rav on inyanei tzibur and inyanei yachid, and asked him sh'eilos. After the petirah of the Chazon Ish, the Brisker Rav allowed people to come in much more frequently to ask for eitzos, to speak in learning.”

The Brisker Rav survived the Chazon Ish by about five and a half years, so that represents a significant period of time.

“Everything I heard from the Brisker Rav was on par with what I heard from the Chazon Ish. Sometimes the Rav’s answers were short. Sometimes he explained more.

The Rav had certain disputes with other gedolim in Eretz Yisrael, but with the Chazon Ish he always seemed to have the same opinion.”

Early Activism Rav Dovid was born in Tel Aviv, and in his formative years he learned primarily in Yeshivas Be’er Yaakov in Bnei Brak. He later studied under Rav Gedalya Nadel in Kollel Chazon Ish. Already in those years Rav Dovid was getting involved in the

preservation of kevarim.

“In Teveryah in 1956, the Religious Affairs Ministry wanted to erect something above the Rambam’s kever and dig around it, upsetting a lot of other kevarim. The Rav fought against it with all his strength, and sent messages to Rav Amram Blau and Rav Aharon Katzenelenbogen to go to Teveryah to disrupt it. I was a bachur in yeshivah and I asked Rav Gedalya Nadel if I should go. He said, ‘Only the Brisker Rav can answer that.’ We sent a shaliach to the Rav to ask if yeshivah bachurim should go. The Rav answered, ‘The one who asked should go.’”

His relationship with the Chazon Ish, though, was regarding other matters. “I would ask the Chazon Ish about iskei tzibur, iskei yachid—not about kevarim.”

Rav Dovid tells me that he got seriously involved in the preservation of kevarim years after the petirah of the Brisker Rav. “That was after the Six-Day War, when Israel got back Har Hazeisim and other places. I went to Har Hazeisim after no one had been there for years and saw that six rows of kevarim were completely made into a road to Yericho. I thought I had uncovered something no one knew about. I went screaming to a few rabbanim, and found that everyone held they were patur from doing anything; since I was already screaming, it was my responsibility and I’d take care of it. Then I started getting involved in other places too, including chutz la’Aretz.”

As the Brisker Rav was already niftar at that time, Rav Dovid’s mentor was the Brisker Rav’s son, Rav Yoshe Ber, zt”l, and he was also close with the Rav’s other son, Rav Rafoel, zt”l.

“I would frequently consult Rav Yoshe Ber. For a psak halachah, I would go to the Minchas Yitzchak.

“Reb Yoshe Ber took these things very seriously. When we came to him to discuss a case, I could come back six months later and discuss it as if we had just left off. He remembered every detail.

“After Rav Yoshe Ber’s petirah, I heard from Reb Refoel that Rav Yoshe Ber had told his rebbetzin that when he was resting at the end of the day, she shouldn’t let anyone in besides the Asra Kadisha people. I remember he used to let me in whenever I came. I didn’t realize I was the only one.

“Rav Rafoel got involved a little later in the preservation of cemeteries and joined the hanhalah of Asra Kadisha. Autopsies were his thing...but he was involved in all tzorchei klal.

“I met the Satmar Rebbe, zt”l, only twice, and not about kevarim. Once was when he was in Eretz Yisrael in 1965. We built a Yiddish-speaking girls’ school in Bnei Brak and I met with him about it. The second time was two weeks before his petirah, when I came to America with an ill person.”

Asra Kadisha, though, was the brainchild of the Satmar Rebbe, according to Rav Dovid.

“There was a warm Yid in Williamsburg named Chaim Roth. He was a big askan— the Nasi of Yad L’Achim. I heard from Rav Refoel Soloveitchik that Chaim Roth came to the Brisker Rav with a shlichus from the Satmar Rav that we have to create an organization like Asra Kadisha. Until then, there were Yidden like Rav Amram Blau who listened to the Brisker Rav and did what they had to do. But the Satmar Rav held we needed to make an official organization, and the Brisker Rav accepted it.

This was 1959, when the Brisker Rav was already unwell. The world didn’t know it yet, but he already knew. And one of the last things he did was set up Asra Kadisha.”

The first askanim involved in Asra Kadisha were apparently people who were close to the Brisker Rav. “The yosheiv rosh in the beginning was Rav Avrohom Aratin. He was a Gerrer chasid who was the right-hand man of the Brisker Rav in all iskei tzibur. There

was Reb Mord’che Weinstein, a Yid who lived in Bnei Brak and was very close to the Rav. There was Reb Nochum Halpern from Tel Aviv, Reb Yechiel Benedikt (the Rav’s mechutan), and yibadel l’chayim Reb Nechemya Citron from Bnei Brak.

“After Rav Avrohom Aratin was yosheiv rosh, he gave it over to Rav Nochum Halpern. After Rav Halpern’s petirah, there was no yosheiv rosh for many years. I only officially became yosheiv rosh two years ago.

Before that, people called me ‘yosheiv rosh,’ but that was incorrect.”

Perspectives Rav Dovid shares with me the Brisker Rav’s outlook on the topic of kevarim.

Many ask, in view of all the other problems the Jewish community and Eretz Yisrael face, why should we exert our energies on the dead? After all, should not the needs of the living be our foremost concern?

Actually, as Rav Dovid relays to me, someone once posed this very question to the Brisker Rav. “I can tell you a story. A person once came to the Rav and asked him, ‘Why is the Rav bothered by desecration of the dead more than other things? Isn’t saving children from shmad more important?’ The Yid who asked this really meant well. He was a man who was moser nefesh to save Jewish kids from shmad. He told the Rav, ‘Gadol hamachti’o yoser min hahorgo.’

“The Rav answered, ‘Such a question comes from hashmeid lev ha’am hazeh.’

What did the Rav mean? The Rav had a talmid, Rav Yosef Liss. He explained the Rav’s words to me. When a Yid is being hit, people will come to help him. No one will ask, ‘Why don’t you rather save kids from shmad? Gadol hamachti’o yoser min hahorgo.’ That’s true. But no one will ask that. Everyone understands that when someone is being hurt, you help him. You don’t ask ‘why don’t you do more important things?’ If someone asks such a question, it’s because he isn’t hurt by seeing a Yid get hurt.

“Another story: Rav Avrohom Aratin told me that the Rav wrote a very sharp letter when people wanted to desecrate the kever of the Rambam in 1956. He wrote that such a thing is a sakanah for everyone.

He wanted to get the signatures of all the gedolei rosh yeshivah: The Tchebiner Rav,

A skirmish

Pressburg Rav, Mirrer Rosh Yeshivah, Rav Chatzkel Abramsky. The Rav gave this letter to Avrohom Aratin, full of sharp language against the medinas Yisrael, and a list of the rabbanim he should get signatures from. The Rav himself hadn’t signed, and Aratin was scared that if the Rav hadn’t signed, the others would be scared to sign. He was afraid to say anything and remained standing by the door. The Rav asked him, ‘Reb Avrohom, you need something else?’

He answered, ‘If the Rav would sign, it would be easier for me to get signatures.’ The Rav said, ‘Of course I’ll sign.’

He took the pen and broke out in such a cry that Reb Avrohom said he didn’t know how to react. He said that he saw the Rav in more difficult times, like during the yaldei Tehran crisis, and the Rav treated it very seriously and utilized all his strength for it, but he never cried!

And this time there were such cries!”

Asra Kadisha is concerned not only with grave preservation in Israel. Rav Dovid recalls the first time Asra Kadisha got involved in a grave-related issue in Europe.

“The first time the Asra Kadisha got involved in Europe was when Rav Nochum Halpern was yosheiv rosh. It was about 1970. There was an old cemetery in Vienna that was in sakanah, where the Shelah Hakadosh and the Bein Ha’amudim and other gedolim were buried. That was the first time we went to chutz la’Aretz. Then there was

another place, and another problem, and another.”

“And then there was the amazingly successful preservation of the old Jewish cemetery in Egypt,” I say.

“I worked there an entire year,” is his response.

Recent Controversies “We never do or did anything unilaterally,” Rav Dovid tells me regarding the controversies that have recently embroiled his organization. “We ask sh'eilos in halachah. The velt says, ‘Asra Kadisha did this...Asra Kadisha said that.’ We never act alone. We never pasken our own sh'eilos. I actually have a semichah that no one else has from Rav Pinchos Epstein, of the Yerushalaimer Beis Din, and that is that I’m patur from paskening. Something once happened in a beis hakevaros and Rav Pinchos asked to go there and pasken what to do. I told him that I carry the yoke of askanus and need to be patur from paskening. He told me I’m right and took his stick and went himself.

“We’ve had some things that became controversies. There was one time in Pisgat Zev. They say we argued against the ruling of Rav Elyashiv. All these stories are incorrect. With Pisgat Zev, there were certain chareidi politicians who wanted to make an uprising against what we do with kevarim. They protested, claiming that really there is a way to get around the kevarim, but the

124 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

“frumme” blocked it. I was with Rav Elyashiv and asked if there are heteirim for a certain sh'eilah about it, and he said no. I told him it would be good to have it in writing, and he said, ‘We’ll see.’

“Then certain people put out the word that Rav Elyashiv was matir. For two months, they didn’t let anyone in whom they suspected was coming to ask him the sh'eilos phrased in a way that he’d be matir.

Two months later, I was able to get back in.

That very day I told him the truth about the situation and he told me right away that we have to stop it. When he said it was mutar, it was for different sh'eilos. They had fed him lies.”

Rav Dovid refuses to speculate on the motives of these people.

“I don’t know exactly. One thing I can say is that before this, I got a call from the Degel HaTorah office in Yerushalayim and they told me, ‘Nu, enough with the ma’arachah of kevarim.’ They told me that there once was a fight about soccer on Shabbos. We fought for a year and then let it go. We’ve been fighting with this for 30 years already. Enough is enough.

I answered that the difference is that this is something the Brisker Rav put all his strength into. Whenever there was a problem with kevarim, the Rav would send a letter to the local municipal chareidi delegate and he’d put everything he was busy with aside and run to take care of it. But they told me, ‘Enough.’ And this happened about half a year later. Could be it’s related.

“People talk a lot about what’s happened recently. But he’s a yachid against all the chachmei Yisrael. And what he writes about in his teshuvah is a different metzius.”

Rav Dovid is noncommittal about whether he feels that the tzibur has been slacking off lately regarding grave-preservation. But then he allows, “Everything’s gotten weaker. It’s yeridas hadoros.”

Militancy and Study We next broach a most touchy subject, and that is the topic of violence.

“The velt says from the Rav, and I heard the same thing directly from the Steipler, ‘We should not fight with them! We are not to fight with the police! Even for very serious things. They are far better at hitting than we are.’ That’s what they said. If they hit, we don’t hit back. And I heard no

gadol who contradicted that.”

Is that the policy of Asra Kadisha?

“Yes. I don’t control everyone. But that’s our way: not to fight.”

We discuss whether that also reflects his own shittah.

“I have no shittah of my own,” is his retort. “We try to do what we’re told by the gedolim.”

Regarding the papers distributed against Rav Moshe Sternbuch, he says, “Today, every kid is a printer. Everyone can make a sign on a computer and make 1,000 copies. There’s no way to control it.”

While Rav Dovid doesn’t take responsibility for the actions of every militant kid, he seems at the very same time to be most proud of the young men who study in his unique kollel.

“For many years my kollel was in Teveryah. It moved to Komemiyus two years ago. The yungeleit live in Yerushalayim, Beit Shemesh and other places, but they stay all week and learn like yeshivah bachurim and only go home for Shabbos.”

I inquire whether that sort of lifestyle doesn’t scare yungeleit away.

“On the contrary, a lot of yungeleit want to join. We can’t take half of those who want to come. We have tens of yungeleit.”

Rav Dovid is not involved in the fundraising. “I’m not good at that,” he tells me.

“Others do that. I give shiurim when the olam asks. Sometimes twice a week, sometimes once.”

Are they Brisker shiurim?

“I don’t know. I was mekabel the insights of the various gedolim I knew...but my main influence was Rav Gedalya Nadel.

I actually learned under Rav Gedalya for only a few months. He told me he’d learn three sugyos with me and after that I could do it myself. I learned two sugyos with him and started the third, but didn’t finish it.

Then Rav Gedalya told me, ‘Now you can learn by yourself.’

“But I always heard shiurim from him and went to him with any problem I had, both in learning and otherwise.”

Having consulted people as distinct from each other as Rav Yoshe Ber and Rav Gedalya seems to have perhaps been counterintuitive.

“One time I remember they disagreed,” he tells me with a chuckle. “But I was able to resolve it.”

“I actually have a semichah that no one else has from Rav Pinchos Epstein... and that is that I’m patur from paskening.”

Toldos Aharon Rebbe, Rav Dovid Schmidel

The Draft I share with him that I have a shlichus from my rosh yeshivah, Rav Dovid Soloveitchik, shlita, about the draft issue.

“Yeshivos are the heart of Yiddishkeit,” he responds. “Until now, it was always quiet.

That was an open miracle. Ben Gurion, who wanted to destroy Yiddishkeit, allowed the yeshivos to remain. He thought they’d be gone completely in a generation or half a generation. Yet, the great olam haTorah grew. No one thought it was possible when the medinah started.

“I don’t know what the gedolim of the previous generations would have said to this decree. But I remember the drashos in 1948-49 when frumkeit was in danger and no one knew what would be. They said everyone should learn more—kol hamekabel alav ol Torah, ma’avirim mimenu ol malchus.

“I once heard from Reb Yoshe Ber that he didn’t want the frum parties to mix into the issue of the draft. He said that the roshei yeshivah themselves dealt with Ben Gurion and we must leave it in the roshei yeshivah's hands. His reason: The parties have a sort of partnership with them. He didn’t want the bnei hayeshivos to be at the whim of this partnership. It should have no politics involved, so the roshei yeshivah should be the only ones taking care of this.

The parties didn’t listen.

“In 1969, there was a military base they wanted to enlarge next to the kevarim of Abaye and Rava. Rav Shach said we should fight it with all our strength. And he strongly said the political parties shouldn’t talk about it or get involved. A month or

two later, they did mix in.”

Rav Dovid then recalls a fascinating insight of Rav Gedalya Nadel.

“Rav Gedalya once asked, ‘We know that a milchemes Yisrael against those who rise against us is a milchemes mitzvah. If so, why don’t we join the military?’

“Rav Gedalya said he heard three answers for this.

“One: Even when klal Yisrael goes to war, some sit and learn to increase zechuyos. This is based on a midrash that during milchemes Midyan there were three camps: 1,000 went to war, 1,000 went to learn and 1,000 took care of the tzorchim.

He said that this taanah is wrong. First of all, we don’t learn halachah from divrei agadah. This is a maaseh, but the halachah is not like that. The halachah is that everyone must go to milchemes mitzvah and no one is patur.

“Two: In the military we’ll become kalya.

He said that it’s true that if one has a chiyuv mitzvah that he knows will make him leave the Yiddishe vayg, he must not do the mitzvah. But if that is our reason, we would look for ways we can do the mitzvah and it would be possible. This taanah is true, but it’s not our reason.

“The third reason: We must have lomdei Torah. If all the yeshivos would go into the military, Torah would be forgotten from klal Yisrael. He said this is a good cheshbon.

But this can’t be our reason. If this was the true reason, we’d have to make a reckoning of how many we need to have a kiyum haTorah and everyone else should go.

“So what’s the real reason? You can’t send someone to fight in a war where he has no interest. He said the present wars

126 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

by Yidden, and goyim too, aren’t wars to save lives. They’re wars to keep the peace.

That’s true in England and in Israel too.

We have no interest in keeping up the medinah. For us, the best thing would be to be under the rule of a decent goy. It’s something we don’t need at all and we can’t fight for something we have no interest in.”

When I venture that Rav Gedalya was a very deep person, and could even be considered a philosopher, Rav Dovid is in agreement.

Sukkos We finish our conversation with the following Sukkos-related story, which he readily shares with me: “One Sukkos I was with Rav Isser Zalman Meltzer. I think it was his last Sukkos. On Chol Hamoed, I went around to the gedolim. The Rebbetzin was waiting by the door and said the doctors forbade him to learn for three days for health reasons. She said I could come in and wish a good Yom Tov but not speak in learning.

“I went in and shmuessed a little. In the end he did speak to me a little in learning over the Rebbetzin’s objections. He said, ‘Sukkos is zman simchaseinu. We might think that means we need more gashmiyus, more good food. But the Torah says the opposite. The Torah says to go out of your diras keva and go into a diras arai and live solely with Hashem.’

“I saw this in his sukkah. He had nothing there. He had a bench to lie on. He said if we want a real simchah, we should go out into a sukkah with nothing there besides ruchniyus.” 

Puzzled about your future?

Looking for a successful career path in just a few months?

COPE Institute is the solution COPE’s Junior Accounting Assistant Controller Course Course Includes: Accounting Financial Concepts

Business Readiness Banking & Investments

!

HURRYES CLASS G FILLIN! FAST

Computerized Accounting /QuickBooks Microsoft Office/Excel

MEN’S DAY & EVENING CLASSES Begin November 3, 2013

This course is recommended for 21 College Credits by: The American Council on Education - Thomas Edison State College *Please note: ACE and Thomas Edison course credit recommendations are evaluated by individual colleges for acceptance. *Thomas Edison State College credit recommendations require a transcript fee to Thomas Edison

FREE PLACEMENT ASSISTANCE upon course completion

ALL CLASSES IN BORO PARK To register, or for more information, please call

718-506-0500 Ext. 208

4006 18TH AVE. • BROOKLYN, NY 11218

A D I V I S I O N O F A G U D AT H I S R A E L O F A M E R I C A

EMAIL:

Advanced Career Training for a Lifetime of Success

info@copeins.com

BY CHANANYA BLEICH

The United Nations UltraOrthodox Division

Meeting with Junior Minister Jonathan Fergus Bell, Belfast Skainos Square

O

n the door of a small office in Ramat Gan, somewhere on the 13th floor of one of the tall buildings in the Diamond Exchange District, hangs a simple sign indicating that these are the headquarters of Interpeace. A passerby unfamiliar with the name might take it for an accounting firm or law office, similar to many others renting space in the area.

In reality, though, behind this modest entrance lies the activity center of a group known as the “United Nations Ultra-Orthodox Division.”

It is unlikely that you have ever heard of a group of ultra-Orthodox rabbis acting in the service of the UN, since up until now they have not received much media attention.

Recently, however, Ami was given a rare glimpse into this unique alliance.

Interpeace, which was created by

the UN in 1994 as an independent, international peace-building organization and strategic partner of the United Nations, is actually headquartered in Geneva, Switzerland, and maintains offices in Brussels, Guatemala City, Nairobi and New York. Its offices in Ramat Gan, however, are unusual in that they are the center of operations for chareidi rabbis from all over Israel, especially those associated with Shas.

The group’s Rabbis’ Committee for Inter-Religious Dialogue, consisting of 20 influential religious leaders, many of whom are known as scholars or community leaders, was formed in 2011 after an 18-month educational program that exposed participants to the history of the Arab-Israeli conflict and peace process. The stated purpose of the Committee is to develop specific solutions to the regional conflict and add a religious perspective to the discussion.

These rabbis have not just gleaned their knowledge as attendees of abstract scholarly courses but have

actually gone out into the field, inspected the borders up close and met with Palestinian representatives not once or twice but numerous times, in meetings that are conducted in an atmosphere of mutual respect. All of these activities are under the direction of the program head, former Shas spokesman and media consultant Itzik Sudri. Understanding that the Jewish religious population must be approached with a special sensitivity, the United Nations selected Sudri to run its sponsored activities among the chareidi sector.

Of late, the group has been busy putting out several conflagrations of incitement that ignited around the country because of the actions of provocateurs. The most recent was only a few weeks ago, when some antiChristian graffiti was discovered on the

Meeting with UN officials

walls of the Latrun monastery, inscriptions that could have very quickly triggered an undesirable fallout and led to violence against Jews.

On the same day the graffiti was found, which was assumed to have been done by radical right-wing youth, a delegation of rabbis met with representatives of the monastery and explained the stance of Judaism concerning provocations against other religions and nations. They clarified that the inscriptions were most likely the handiwork of radicals, the likes of which are found among all peoples and denominations, and that the incident should not lead to tension between Christians and Jews.

As these rabbis ultimately seek to facilitate peace between Israelis and Palestinians, we asked well-known community figure Rabbi Shem-Tov Menachem, who serves as the chairman of the Rabbis’ Committee and runs this special program within the UN’s Interpeace organization, whether or not they would characterize themselves as part of the left-wing peacenik movement.

“Absolutely not,” was his curt response. Their purpose, he explained, is to bring about the cessation of violence and hostilities by reducing misunderstandings and provocations on both sides, so the dispute can be managed in a more civilized and respectful manner.

In that way, he added, we will hopefully no longer witness the horrors of the past decades as a result of the IsraeliPalestinian conflict.

“We are not politicians,” he emphasized. “We do not have a quick solution to the age-old territorial dispute. Rather, our purpose is to clarify that there is no war between Judaism and Islam, and that the conflict between the two began only in recent years and never existed before. We do not intervene when it comes to the subject of territorial conflict. We just want to make it clear that there is no war between the religions, and no one should commit violence in the name of a war that doesn’t exist.”

This special program involving

the rabbis was initiated by the UN after Operation Defensive Shield was launched by Israel in 2002 after the terrorist attack in Netanya, when a Palestinian suicide bomber killed 30 mostly elderly vacationers who were sitting at a Pesach seder at the Park Hotel. The brutal attack became known as the Passover Massacre.

At the time, Operation Defensive Shield was the largest military operation in the West Bank since the 1967 Six-Day War. It began on March 29 of that year with an incursion into Ramallah that placed Yasser Arafat under siege in his compound, followed by incursions into the six largest cities in the West Bank and their surrounding localities. From April 3 through April 21, Israel imposed strict curfews on civilian populations and restrictions of movement of international personnel, including, at times, the entry of humanitarian and medical personnel as well as human rights monitors and journalists.

International experts on the Middle East conflict were taken by surprise by the intensity of Israel’s reaction. They wanted to understand why they hadn’t foreseen such a strong response and why Israel had launched such a massive operation.

They discovered that the terrorist attack on the Passover holiday, specifically on the night of the seder, had crossed a red line of which they had no knowledge or understanding. “It was decided then to establish a group that would consist of religious Jews,” says Rabbi Menachem.

“These religious experts would also be able to better articulate the connection between the Jewish nation and the Land of Israel from Biblical sources. Take Khamenei, for instance, Iran’s spiritual leader, who says that Israel is a band of immigrant Jews from Eastern Europe who control and abuse the indigenous population. No one, not even the Israeli Prime Minister who recently traveled to the UN, ever stands up and says, ‘Mr. Khamenei, your words are nonsense.

Sixty-five percent of Israelis are natives

of the Middle East and refugees from Arab countries, who are here by right and not by grace. Has anyone said anything like that to this day? No, and that’s why this group was established.”

Peace among the Nations Whenever the members of the Rabbis’ Committee engage in a discussion with a Muslim religious leader, they begin by saying, “It’s a pleasure to meet with you. We are first-generation refugees from Arab countries, and we are here in the Land of Israel because it is the land of our forefathers.”

“We tell them,” says Rabbi Menachem, “that we are lovers of peace

sive club of ‘peace advocates’ has traditionally been a left-wing monopoly, but these organizations are rapidly disappearing and represent only five percent of the population.”

“Did you receive the blessing of gedolim for your activities?”

“Certainly. We do not take any action without consulting them. Former Chief Rabbi Shlomo Amar was our guide on every issue, halachic and otherwise.

We do nothing that contravenes the rulings of Maran Rav Ovadia Yosef, and on every subject we seek the opinion of various gedolei Yisrael. All of the religious leaders we have visited have blessed us to succeed in this venture.”

In the Arab section of Chevron

and haters of war, and we pray three times a day for peace. We do not have anything against your religion. Continue practicing your religion as you wish, and we will practice ours as we need to. Until the Messiah comes, may it happen speedily in our times, why should we kill and slaughter each other?”

“Why did you agree to participate in the initiative?” I ask.

“In order to reduce hostility and bloodshed. We view it as a tremendous mitzvah, with regard to a subject on which the ultra-Orthodox voice has not been heard. Orthodox rabbis haven’t spoken out about security and political issues until now. The exclu-

The group is a conglomerate of some 20 rabbis, mainly Sephardic but also from the Yemenite, Ashkenazic and the chasidic communities. When I asked Rabbi Menachem what their solution is to actually settling the Israeli-Palestinian conflict he answered, “That’s the million-dollar question. We have made it our first objective, however, to separate the conflict over territories from the conflict between Judaism and Islam. The reason is that a Jew living in the Diaspora understands that if he looks Jewish, he will always be on the firing line of Muslims. In other countries, when you walk to synagogue on Shabbat, Muslim people shout and curse at you because of the situation

132 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

in Israel, and we want to detach this conflict from the territorial struggle.

“There are several million Palestinians, but a billion and a half Muslims around the world. We are publicly promoting the idea that there is in fact no conflict between Judaism and Islam, and that there is no mission in Judaism to convert a Muslim. Accordingly, the objective is to explain that we will treat Muslims in the same way we wish Diaspora Jews to be treated by them.”

What is so special about this program is that there is no external committee telling the rabbis what to say. It is an initiative coming from the rabbis themselves, with program leaders only providing the tools and taking them wherever they wish to meet, under UN auspices.

According to Rabbi Menachem, a meeting was held not long ago in a neighboring Muslim country that has peace ties with Israel. Three members of the Rabbis’ Committee went there after receiving the blessing of gedolim, and met with several important Muslim imams. He told me that the secular members of the Israeli team were dressed immodestly, without sensitivity to the ultra-Orthodox rabbis and Muslim religious leaders, to whom they also didn’t allot time to perform their five daily prayers or provide water with which to wash their hands and feet.

Toward evening, the rabbis called the gedolim in Israel and explained the embarrassing situation, which bordered on chillul Hashem, and said that they wanted to get up and leave as a declaration of protest, even though it might cause a rupture in the relationship with their secular counterparts.

The reply they received was to leave.

That evening they met with the Muslim religious leaders and explained

SUNDAY

TUESDAY

SHULAMITH GIRLS SCHOOL 1277 EAST 14TH STREET 12PM 2PM 4PM

ATRIUM PLAZA 7 ROUTE 59, MONSEY N.Y 12:30PM 2:30PM

FLATBUSH

TICKETS:

MONSEY

EICHLER’S OF FLATBUSH

TICKETS: TUVIA’S

MONDAY

WEDNESDAY

TAG FOR GIRLS 444 BEACH 6TH STREET 12:00PM 2:00PM

YCQ - 147-37 70TH ROAD 12:30PM

TICKETS:

WASSERMANS, SEASONS (QUEENS)

5 TOWNS

JUDAICA PLUS

QUEENS

TICKETS: $20, $25 QUEENS SHOW -

UNCLE MOISHY, GIZMO GUYS & NACHUM THE CLOWN, ONLY

*NO YBC OR BENNY FRIEDMAN

FOR MORE INFO CALL 718.854.6902 OR 718.853.9403

WWW.UNCLEMOISHY.COM

to them in Arabic why they were going home, even though they wanted to continue the talks. They subsequently received a phone call from the imams concurring with them and saying that they had also decided to leave for the same reasons! Today, these imams are very helpful to the rabbis in their joint initiatives.

Rabbis as Diplomatic Emissaries “At the signing of a previous peace initiative,” says Zachi Gabay, the program director of the group, “they noticed that only the elite of both sides—north Tel Aviv and Ramallah—were seated on the dais. They realized that wider support was missing, and invited celebrities like singers and artists as well as two Orthodox representatives.

“I think that everyone reached the conclusion that it’s better for rabbis to participate in the process instead of having others make decisions for the religious population, such as the scheduling of Jewish prayers at the Cave of the Patriarchs or at Joseph’s Tomb. And why shouldn’t they? These are holy places and these are religious decisions.”

“What achievements have you reached in these meetings to date?” I ask.

Rabbi Menachem: “One point of contention we’ve been dealing with is the issue of security at Joseph’s Tomb and the ‘crazy’ hours Jews are permitted to be present at the site. We took all the rabbis and leaders of the settlers in bulletproof buses and toured all of Judea and Samaria together. We waited for midnight to enter Shechem and saw how they permitted Jews to visit the gravesite, and then we met with religious leaders on the other side to see how to settle the matter in a manner that will be respectful to Yosef Hatzaddik and all those who come to pray at his grave.

“The fact that a Muslim group exists wishing to speak about these matters is already an achievement on both the local and international level. Today it

is we and not the leftist secular groups who are the address for the international community regarding all religious-related questions, as well as any question in the UN or elsewhere pertaining to Jewish affairs. We obviously do not replace the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, but we work alongside them in full cooperation.”

“How does the State of Israel view your activities?” I inquire.

“The government is familiar with our programs and supports them.

Whoever is acquainted with us from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs is fully aware that we work with Muslim populations. You have to understand there’s never been any information disseminated about Judaism. This is the first time it’s being done. The objective is to shatter all prejudices, some antiSemitic, that have existed about the Jewish nation for many years.”

An interesting incident happened recently involving a distinguished friend of one of the rabbis, a respected local sheikh who even contacts the group from time to time to consult on questions of financial law and other

134 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

such matters. He was calling the rabbi to tell him that during one of his sermons in his mosque he had mentioned that he was in touch with a great rabbi who understands Islam, and through whom he had learned that historically Jews and Muslims have always lived in peace, and there is no reason to fight one another.

At that point a member of the audience had stood up and said, “Honorable sheikh, I am a student at the university, and one day I saw that one of the first things the Jews say in the morning is the blessing ‘for not making me a gentile.’ So how can you tell us that there is no animosity, when the religious Jews are actually the worst?’ The sheikh wanted to know how to respond.

The rabbi answered as follows: “The blessing ‘for not making me a gentile’ refers to pagan worshippers who bow

The rabbis meeting with Muslim leaders in Chevron

Rabbi Shem-Tov Menachem

down to the sun. You, on the other hand, believe in the same G-d as we do! In fact, we recite a blessing every night over your wisdom—open the prayer book to the evening prayer and you will see ‘Hamaariv aravim bechochmah,’ that the Arabs are a clever nation!”

The sheikh was astounded, and called the rabbi again the following Friday to inform him that the student had been taken aback by his explanation.

Rabbi Menachem: “While this, of course, is a poetic interpretation of the text, we know that many conflicts and decrees imposed by villains throughout the ages were always settled by local rabbis in various ways. Throughout the ages the greatest diplomatic emissaries of the Jewish people were its religious leaders. The reality is that we are reducing the level of enmity in the region. We’re the alternative to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in the Middle East.”

While every member of the group is a prominent rabbi, not all have agreed to have their names published. Some who have agreed to include Rav Yechezkel Feinhandler, Rav Moshe Brown, Rav Eliyahu Castro and Rav Tzion Kahn.

“It’s not so easy for us to get away for regular monthly meetings, in addition to the time-sensitive ones that come up, such as after the graffiti was discovered at the Latrun monastery,” Rabbi Menachem says. The meetings held abroad generally take place in Arab countries, where the rabbis arrive as UN representatives.

“This project is very valued by the UN,” he added. “Not long ago we met with UN officials, including the Secretary General’s emissary to the region, in a glatt kosher restaurant in Jerusalem.

They left the meeting very impressed.”

Individual members examine each issue of the Israeli-Palestinian conflict and determine goals for themselves, consulting with prominent experts and reaching conclusions reasoned through Jewish traditional law, based

on the rulings of past and present religious leaders.

“Professor Sami Samocha,” Rabbi Menachem told me, “who for years has been conducting studies on the attitude of Arabs towards the State of Israel, told me that in 1995, during Yitzchak Rabin’s second term, he detected a positive development: a significant percentage of Arabs were in favor of a secular Jewish democratic state. I asked him what was different in 1995, as Rabin had been prime minister even before then. The difference, he replied, was that Rabin promoted peace. But I had a different opinion. The real reason, I said, was that Aryeh Deri was Minister of the Interior at the time, and he was famous for his activities within the Arab sector and even used to receive blessings every Friday in the mosques. Deri gave them progress, with the clear understanding that this was how minorities living in the State should be treated. You can say that we operate in a similar manner.”

“What are your plans for the future?”

I asked in closing.

“We will continue to work towards an optimal relationship, with the aspiration of completely separating the conflict over land from the conflict between Judaism and Islam. Thank G-d, we have already seen much success, and hope to continue to foster goodwill and neutralize animosity.” 

“We have made it our first objective to separate the conflict over territories from the conflict between Judaism and Islam.”

136 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

N OVA R D O K : THE SEALED TREASURE I Forty-one years ago, the late Rabbi Shlomo Margolies of Boston, a disciple of Novardok, told me that Novardok was a “sealed treasure.” If this was so in 1972, how much more so today. Of all of the significant spiritual genres within Orthodox Judaism, Novardok mussar survived the Holocaust less so than perhaps any other.

This was for two reasons.

First, I have neither witnessed nor studied a spiritual path in which the teachings and the reality are so radically at odds. To the extent that it is known at all, Novardok is known as forbidding, severe, demanding, ascetic. And yet, without a scintilla of exaggeration, I can say that the happiest, most joyous, least burdened people I have ever known have been Novardok disciples born before the Holocaust. Despite all that many of them went through (in Nazi camps or Soviet Siberia), their very being taught me more about joy than I could ever hope to learn from anyone else.

Yes, in its teachings, Novardok is severe; we shall turn to that below. But from these teachings came a personal freedom and spiritual reach that is almost unimaginable today. That is why Novardok did not successfully traverse the great chasm of the Holocaust: The spiritual path of Novardok must be imagined from its written teachings, but its essence is in how these teachings came to life. Without the living model, the gap between what Novardok taught and what it is, is radical indeed. And today, all we have are the written teachings.

Second, Novardok grew to spiritual prominence during the heyday of communism, which made a religion out of materialism. There was no reality other than this world, said the communists, who had a widespread, negative impact on Jewish youth in the early part of the 20th century. To reach out to these youth, to win them back to Torah observance, an equally monochromatic, determined, spiritual gesture was needed: something that taught that the material world was nothing, that true reality was spiritual.

The reader will notice the word “radical” in this article because Novardok grew up in a period of extremes: of communism, of denial of everything spiritual, and of violent means to impose this vulgar view on the world. What the Nazis later did to the Jewish body, the communists did to the Jewish soul: denied it, denounced it, and did their best to destroy it.

To put it in the more prosaic terms that Rabbi Nosson Scherman once shared with me: The very poorest kollel student today is wealthier than the average householder in Eastern Europe.

Novardok mussar—the teaching that one could achieve closeness to G-d and personal contentment despite poverty and persecution—thrived best when poverty was rampant. The Novardok stress on trust in G-d (bitachon) was much more compelling in a society in which virtually all of the necessities of life were unavail-

able. Novardok thrived against the background of a philosophy and economic failure that did not survive the 20th century, and this made it much harder for Novardok itself to survive.

And yet, the specter of these incredible role models of tranquility, of joy and of wisdom—whom I witnessed in the Novardok yeshivos in Brooklyn and in Jerusalem—pulled me to its radical teachings and encouraged me to try to practice them, however much I would fall short.

II Take bitachon, for example. It really is the key to Novardok.

The founder of Novardok mussar, Rabbi Joseph Jozel Horwitz (“Reb Yoizel” or “the Alter of Novardok,” 1849-1919), would sign his name, “B. B.,” for Ba’al Bitachon, “Master of Trust” [in G-d].

After his first wife died in childbirth, the Alter withdrew from society, living in a one-room cabin with only two small openings: one for milk foods and one for meat foods. His character was not powerful enough to withstand the negative influences of society, he said. He needed to purify himself of all the negative traits evident in society—jealousy, vainglory, lust, self-deception, and more—but he could not do so while mixing with society, rife with these traits. He needed seclusion, concentration, and clarity. As Rabbi Yechiel Perr, the rosh yeshivah of the Yeshiva of Far Rockaway, put it, “Far from the petty world of men, he found the great world that is man.” The owner of the cabin, impressed by the strivings of a tzaddik, deemed it an honor to feed him daily, without remuneration.

After being forced out of his cabin two years after entering it, the Alter lived mostly in forests for some seven years, studying Torah and mussar. As in the cabin, he did not lift a finger to earn a livelihood or secure material comforts. He called this bitachon beli hishtadlus, trust in G-d without expending any effort. Note well: Trust, to the Alter, was not the acceptance of the circumstances of life; it was a spiritual discipline that enabled one to create the circumstances of life—to create a livelihood, and to acquire life’s necessities. The only way trust could be mastered was with a willingness to suffer privation until one’s trust reached a sufficiently pure level that G-d would respond.

Or, as my rosh yeshivah, the late Rav Ben Zion Bruk of Jerusalem, once colorfully put it to me as we were standing at a bus stop on a hot day, waiting and waiting in vain for a bus: “If I were a real ba’al bitachon, one of these cars driving by would stop and offer us a ride.”

How and why the Alter eventually left the forests to create scores of yeshivos in Eastern Europe—Novardok was the pioneering modern kiruv (outreach) movement—is beyond the scope of this article. Suffice it to say that in the yeshivah, when he taught bitachon to wide-eyed, very skeptical young men, he would say, “Look at me. I am alive. I did not starve. I am living proof that

138 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

A REFLECTION ON THE FAMED SCHOOL OF MUSSAR

BY RABBI HILLEL GOLDBERG bitachon beli hishtadlus works.”

When one feels no need to engage in any effort to meet one’s basic needs and is not bothered by any subsequent privation— that is, when one feels himself dependent not on a single human being for a single thing, but only on G-d—one is content, happy, and tranquil, in the extreme. If nothing, literally nothing, such as poverty or hunger, bothers a person, then the only possible result is genuine inner freedom and joy. That is the goal of bitachon: A reliance on G-d so complete that whatever a person has or does not have, simply fades into insignificance. If I am wealthy, that, too, is wonderful, the same as if I am poor—since to a true “Master of Trust” everything that one has, however much or however meager, comes straight from G-d. There is no purer, happier relationship than one in which the presence of G-d is all encompassing.

As I say, you had to see people who lived this way to know that it is possible. Teachings in the books of Novardok are a means, not an end—a method, not a goal. In and of themselves, the teachings are misleading. In Novardok, the prize is in the practice.

III On paper, it is possible to draw a sharp contrast between Novardok and the Slobodka, Kelm and Telshe schools of mussar, rooted in other disciples of the founder of the mussar movement, Rabbi Israel Salanter (1810-1883). To be sure, some of the differences are real. Novardok devoted fewer hours to Torah study than Slobodka, and produced fewer major Talmud scholars than Slobodka or Kelm (though the famed Steipler Gaon was trained in Novardok, as was Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz of Mir, not to mention the Alter’s son-in-law Rabbi Avrohom Joffen). Novardok nurtured the emotions deeply; Kelm and Telshe mussar were more cerebral. Novardok was indifferent to appearance; Slobodka valued it.

Novardok was devoted to outreach; Slobodka, to inreach.

In 1972, while I was a student in the Novardok kollel in Jerusalem, another yeshivah, named Shma Yisrael, met in the Novardok building. In 1974, Shma Yisrael split into two yeshivos, Aish HaTorah and Ohr Somayach. At least as it reached my ears, a main difference that brought about the split was a debate over outreach vs. inreach. Rabbi Noah Weinberg, who founded Aish HaTorah, argued that the meltaway in the Jewish world was so severe that one did not have the luxury of training ripened Torah scholars before inspiring them to reach out to non-observant Jews. Newly observant Jews, if firmly committed, should be encouraged to reach out to other Jews as soon as possible. The founders of Ohr Somayach argued that it was spiritually impractical to send newly observant Jews into outreach before they had acquired extensive Torah knowledge. This debate reflected the debate within the mussar movement some eight decades earlier: Novardok argued for intensive outreach to rescue the Jewish people. Slobodka

argued that only major Torah scholars could accomplish this.

For all the differences between Novardok and the other mussar schools, the similarities were stronger. All schools in the mussar movement stressed introspection as a prerequisite to honest service of G-d. All made very tough demands; the idea that Slobodka was soft, with its stress on “the majesty of man” (gadlus ha’adam), and Novardok was harsh, with its stress on “the nullification of the untutored” (bittul ha’yesh), is a false dichotomy. In Slobodka, the “greatness of man” spelled intolerance for mediocrity and an uncompromising demand to improve and rise high. From the practice of severe self-criticism in Novardok came great, refined, joyous personalities.

I mention one here, Rabbi Ben Zion Bruk (see the accompanying portrait of the late Rabbi Israel Orlansky for another). When I studied with Rav Bruk in his home in the 1970s, sometimes the pupils in his eyes would contract to the merest points: piercing, penetrating, full of light. At the same time, these eyes were gentle, compassionate, understanding, and nonjudgmental. I noticed that his afternoon chavrusa was a house painter, decked out in his work overalls with paint splattered all over them, sitting next to Rav Bruk, in his black kapote, a perfect equality reigning between the two. The sole object of their interest and inquiry was the Torah itself; the sole focus of their efforts was G-d’s truth.

I noticed that whenever anyone asked Rav Bruk about a problem or dilemma, he could summon precisely the right aggadah or midrash that addressed the issue, and could do so instantaneously. To Rav Bruk, life and the Torah were one.

I saw these things, and countless more pieces of spiritual beauty, in many other great people—male and female—trained in Novardok. I came to realize a major methodological flaw in some contemporary academic Jewish scholarship: reaching conclusions about Jewish spirituality based on documents alone. True, often enough, history only offers documents; but an ultimate skepticism must attenuate any conclusion about Torah-based spiritual paths of which living embodiments are no longer available. The story that the documents tell may be radically different from the spiritual result, as is the case with Novardok.

May we be privileged to unseal its treasures.

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

139

N OVA R D O K I N T H E F R E N C H C O U N T RY S I D E

140 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4 Armentières-en-Brie

A VISIT TO ONE OF THE WORLD’S MOST INTERESTING ORTHODOX COMMUNITIES

BY AVI TUCHMAYER 11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

141

T

he beauty of the French countryside is undoubtedly one of the great gifts of the physical world. The drive east from Charles de Gaulle Airport in Paris becomes progressively more breathtaking the farther you get from the city, with a variety of rolling hills, thick forests and picturesque rivers in every direction. In actuality, the hustle and bustle of Paris is less than an hour’s drive away, but it might as well be on another planet. This is Mother Nature’s kingdom: The air is clean, the colors vibrant and the sky a brilliant shade of blue.

A week into Elul, the scenery also serves a higher purpose: Having pulled off the road to eat lunch on the banks of a river, one cannot help but feel insignificant when confronted with the grandeur of creation, which produces an exhilarating sense of humility and awe. The powerful setting serves as an excellent catalyst to bring a city dweller into harmony with the world, its Creator, and with his inner self.

Yet despite the inherent spirituality of the rural atmosphere, it would be hard to imagine a sharper contrast between this pastoral setting and the more traditional centers of modern Torah life. For one thing, the township of Armentières-en-Brie is small enough to lack basic services like a grocery store (one resident told me there’s a small shop, but it’s not readily apparent to the unknowing eye) and there appears to be little here aside from its 1,400 residents, far fewer than even the smallest Jewish neighborhoods in Paris, New York, Bnei Brak, and of course, the Holy City of Jerusalem. Even the physical attributes of the hamlet—neatly kept gardens and deserted, spotless streets— are a far cry from the hubbub of urban life common to modern-day metropolises, especially Orthodox communities pulsing with children, pedestrians and action.

And yet, Armentières-en-Brie is home to one of the world’s most unique Torah communities, the Château du Vignois, located a short drive outside the miniscule town. Tucked into a clearing off an isolated country road, the Château looks somewhat like an Israeli kibbutz: It is a self-enclosed community, austere and simple, set back several meters from the road so a passing driver would have to be consciously looking for it in order to find it. Everyone else would surely drive past, unaware that several hundred Orthodox Jews lived nearby.

This idyllic countryside and isolation were also the elements that attracted Rav

142 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

Housing in Armentières-en-Brie

Gershon Liebman, a student of the historic Novardok yeshivah, to identify the area for a collective Torah settlement in the aftermath of the Holocaust. During the war, Liebman endured unspeakable horrors, first at the hands of the Soviets and later by the Nazis; a group of German officers once beat him nearly to death for objecting to their use of a tallis (complete with tzitzis) as a tablecloth. Later, believing he was the yeshivah’s sole survivor, Liebman committed himself to rebuilding the Novardok style of mussar and service of G-d through intensive work on one’s personal character traits.

Sixty years later, there can be little question that Armentières-en-Brie has proven the rabbi’s unbridled optimism justified.

In virtually every way, the town of 100 families has created an atmosphere that is conducive to spirituality and the service of G-d. Only an hour from the center of Paris, the area is isolated enough for the spiritually-minded to enjoy the luxury of prayer, meditation and Torah learning without distraction. But it is close enough to Meaux, a midsized city of 50,000, for residents to avail themselves of modern conveniences like hospitals, tradespeople and other services.

“The seclusion here protects us from both the hustle and bustle of Paris and from much of the tumah that goes along with big city life. The forest is a terrific setting for spiritual growth, and the fact that we live in a completely closed community means that we are able to live our

A youngster of Armentières-en-Brie

EVERYONE ELSE WOULD SURELY DRIVE PAST, UNAWARE THAT SEVERAL HUNDRED ORTHODOX JEWS LIVED NEARBY. lives without bowing to expectations from outside influences,” said Rav Eliyahu Marciano, head of the local yeshivah ketanah and a resident of Armentières-en-Brie for nearly 40 years.

Walking around the Château du Vignois, it is hard to argue with Marciano’s assessment. The village is clean and seriouslooking, with simple housing, few luxuries

and no sidewalks. In contrast to the longstanding gentile French custom to cultivate large, sculpted gardens, the grassy patches here are neat but not ornate. On a mild summer afternoon, one naturally takes care to drive extra slowly in order to avoid the many children on bicycles, including some who appear to be far too young to ride without training wheels but

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

143

are balancing without trouble.

All of the residents here speak French, and the national language appears to be the standard of discourse for women of all ages. Like other places in rural France, there is no English to be heard, nor do most residents here possess enough English language skills to hold even a basic conversation.

But the Israeli tourist would have no problem communicating here, at least inside the Château du Vignois, where Hebrew is an “official” language, perhaps even more common than French. This fact is connected to the community’s origins: When Rav Liebman founded the Jewish community in Armentières-en-Brie, he believed that France would be only a temporary home. His desire, however, to move the community to Israel was never realized. The powerful forces of secular coercion in the early years of Israel’s independence made it virtually impossible to establish a new chareidi community, but his emotional connection to Eretz Yisrael was strong enough that the language of instruction in the yeshivah high school is Hebrew, and schoolchildren begin learning the language in fourth grade.

MUSSAR AND BITACHON Rav Eliyahu Marciano sits on a chair outside the yeshivah, enjoying the late afternoon breeze. With his face to the forest and the Gemara open to Tractate Armentières-en-Brie

Rav Gershon Liebman

144 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

THE FULL FORCE OF THE ORIGINAL NOVARDOK STYLE IS DIFFICULT FOR A GENERATION IN WHICH MODERN TECHNOLOGY STILL MANAGES TO ENCROACH Rosh Hashanah in front of him on a shtender, the Rosh Yeshivah seems to exist simultaneously in three parallel realms.

Even at first glance the Rosh Yeshivah maintains a special relationship with the tranquility and silence of the forest surrounding Armentières-en-Brie. The setting is actually worlds away from his urban upbringing in Israel’s port city of Haifa, and not just in terms of kilometers. Aside from the fact that both Armentières-enBrie and Haifa are situated next to bodies of water—in one case the Mediterranean Sea, in the other, the picturesque River Brie, a pastoral tributary of the mighty Seine—there is little else the two locations have in common. Whereas Haifa is crowded, noisy and oppressively humid, the air in Armentières is crisp and clean.

The forest is literally 15 steps from the beis midrash; its trees provide a cool cover of shade on even the hottest days of summer, and the silence is broken only by the crunch of leaves underfoot as one walks.

At the same time, Rav Marciano is clearly swept away by the passion of the Talmudic discourse. The journey across the ages is more than just a way to connect with previous generations, but also an opportunity to consider how our Sages’ wisdom can help perfect one’s personal relationships, both with G-d and with other people.

Lastly, the Rosh Yeshivah is enveloped by the sounds emanating from the beis midrash, where 40 teenagers are in the midst of an energetic afternoon seder. The session is loud enough to distract conversation several meters outside the study hall, but the noise is a veritable symphony to the Rosh Yeshivah’s ears. For someone who has headed this institution for nearly 30 years, the fortissimo of Torah study is a warm blanket to a soul that was nourished

by the Torah of Novardok. Just six days into Elul, the elements have combined to put a gleam in Marciano’s eye as he considers the approaching month of holidays.

“The forest was a central part of the Alter’s service of G-d,” he told Ami Magazine in mid-August. “The fear of being alone forced him to wrestle with the concept of bitachon, complete submission to G-d’s will and acceptance of His decisions. The loneliness made him consider the notion that ultimately, mankind can rely only upon Hashem, and the isolation of the forest gave him the freedom to cry, scream or shout, whether in song, prayer or when learning mussar. The forest allowed him to bare his soul without the necessary limitations of social graces.

While we aren’t on a high enough spiritual level to fully emulate the Alter’s devotion and commitment, we do try to honor the Novardok style of Torah learning and spiritual efforts however we can.”

Rav Marciano concedes that the full force of the original Novardok style is difficult for a generation in which modern technology still manages to encroach, regardless of geographical location. But he also said the Novardok derech is alive and well, if only on a smaller scale.

“It’s like having a huge oil painting on the wall of your house, something that really defines your home and the way you live your life. When you’re out traveling, you can’t take the whole picture along with you, but you can take a snapshot of the painting and put a smaller version in your pocket to pull out and look at and relate to when you’re on the road.

“That’s what Novardok mussar is like today. Even as far back as the 1960s the Steipler Gaon, Rabbi Yaakov Yisrael Kanievsky, said that today’s world isn’t on

a high enough level to appreciate the passion of Novardok, but we still maintain a miniature picture that our generation can relate to. Think of it as sort of a ‘bite-sized chunk’ of Novardok, or a town ‘in the spirit of Novardok.’

De facto, this means that while prayer services don’t quite reach the intensity of old, davening here is slow and deliberate.

Few people commune with Hashem in the woods anymore, and the beis hamussar looks like it hasn’t been occupied for many years, with furniture and books strewn about the premises and inside of the building. But there is no question about the residents’ commitment to Torah.

The elementary school is a hub of activity and youthful energy, and older people are taken care of and respected.

ELUL IN ARMENTIERES The buzz in the beis midrash begins about halfway through the silent Shemoneh Esrei. To the uninitiated, the wordless chanting is disconcerting, but here the phenomenon feels strangely appropriate. Around the room, three dozen teenage bachurim transcend the words of the siddur to call out to G-d; the sound has an ephemeral quality that is both urgent and calming. Later, breakfast in the yeshivah is oddly quiet, with many students having committed themselves to a taanis dibbur, a “fast” from talking, for periods of time ranging from one to four hours.

Conversely, the noise in the beis midrash, during the mussar learning that precedes the traditional morning seder, is vocal enough that it is difficult to hold a conversation even outside the room.

Nowhere is the Novardok spirit more palpable in Armentières-en-Brie than at Beis Yosef, the local yeshivah high school,

but when you get to be a little older— post-bar mitzvah, say—you understand how valuable it is.

“Ultimately, I plan on living in Israel,” Schwartz said in impeccable, Israeliaccented Hebrew. “But I don’t have any regrets about having grown up here, and neither do any of my friends.”

Does he feel a connection to the Novardok heritage in France?

“Yes,” he said, “but not as strongly as my parents or grandparents. I think that’s mostly because I never really knew Rav Gershon; I was only three years old when he died. But I’ve certainly learned valuable lessons from being part of the Novardok tradition, like the value of learning Torah and absolute reliance and trust in Hashem.

Those are things I will always retain.”

Armentières-en-Brie Learning location in the forest

and at no time of year is that heritage emphasized more than in Elul. Teachers and students clearly view themselves as scions of an illustrious path, and the weeks leading up to Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur are a special time to renew their ties to the Novardok legacy and strengthen its influence in their lives.

“For most of the year we learn a halfhour of mussar a day. More than that is too much for the kids. But during Elul, our goal is to prepare the students for the Yom Hadin,” said Rav Marciano. “In addition to learning mussar, we try to foster a heightened awareness and awe of G-d, which in turn enriches the study of Gemara. For example, after davening we learn Orchos Chayim L’Rosh for chizzuk. It’s an old Navordok custom. Then, before morning seder, one of the teachers gives another

mussar lesson before we open our Gemaras. It instills a strong sense of identity in the boys and roots them in a strong philosophical path before Rosh Hashanah.”

Another critical part of the yeshivah’s Elul program is a weekly outing to the forest every Thursday between Rosh Chodesh Elul and Yom Kippur. There, students are encouraged to utilize the forest for hisbodedus as well as group activities.

The outing includes a bonfire, short divrei Torah and mussar lessons, singing and more. Students and staff members alike say the Elul experience is the high point of the year.

“People definitely look forward to the Thursday night kumzitz,” said 17-yearold Avigdor Schwartz, a native of Armentières-en-Brie who will finish his studies here next summer and plans to continue at Yeshivas Kol Torah in Jerusalem. “It’s an opportunity for the entire group to be together and bond, and to really think about teshuvah and our place in the world.”

Like many other young people here, Schwartz says he doesn’t plan on raising his family in Armentières-en-Brie, or even in France. But he does recognize the value of having grown up in an insular, Torahfocused community.

“You don’t really realize it as a little kid,

146 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

REBUILDING There are few terms in the yeshivah world that garner as much emotion as the word “Novardok.” Admirers of the historic Lithuanian yeshivah say the yeshivah’s ferocious allegiance to the mussar school of Torah learning produced a generation of students who understood the critical combination of diligence in both Torah learning and personal character development.

Others criticized the method founded

by Rav Yosef Yossel Horwitz, the Alter of Novardok, saying the strong focus on mussar learning took time away from the primacy of Gemara study.

All agree that the Novardok method was intense, neatly defined by just two words: bitachon (faith in G-d) and humility. Anecdotal stories abound about the extent to which Novardok students would go to create truly humble personalities, devoid of any trace of haughtiness or inappropriate type of pride, and burning for the glory of G-d and His Torah. Prayer in Novardok was known to last for hours, and was marked by intense shouting and fervor, followed by long hours studying mussar works such as Mesilas Yesharim and Orchos Tzaddikim. Novardok students were known to intentionally humiliate themselves via a series of anti-social behaviors, including wearing ragged clothing, or walking into a bakery to ask for painting supplies.

Some elements of the Novardok method have something in common with the chasidic practices inspired by the Ba’al Shem Tov a century earlier. These include the importance of nature in the service of G-d and the role of solitary meditation—known in Hebrew as hisbodedus—in creating a Torah personality who can truly “walk humbly with your G-d.”

This, then, was the template that Rav Gershon Liebman used when founding a Novardok community in France almost immediately after the flames of the Holocaust were extinguished. Fourteen years after Liebman’s death, his students remember an individual whose very essence pulsed with mussar and allegiance to the original Novardok.

One resident said he remembered that the man known here simply as Rabbeinu would spend hours alone in the forest, and encouraged others to do the same. At a time when there were many Jews in France but little Jewish infrastructure in place, residents here recall that Liebman was instrumental in building Jewish schools in Lyon, Marseilles, Paris and farther afield, but when he obtained funding from the Joint Distribution Committee to set up a yeshivah, and eventually a full-fledged family community, he set his sights on rural France, far from the distractions of the big city and close to the forest he felt was a critical element in fullblown service of G-d.

Initially, the community was located in Fublaines, a short drive from today’s Château du Vignois. Liebman set up a yeshivah, and eventually purchased a small parcel of land outside Armentières-en-Brie to build the Château du Vignois.

Rav Eliyahu Marciano “Rabbeinu came here straight from the war...didn’t even look for his family,” recalled Tamar Toledano, a native of Fez, Morocco, who helped establish the Jewish community in Armentières-en-Brie as a teenager. “He immediately started collecting money to start a yeshivah and set out to find 50 boys. Everyone laughed at him, especially the Americans. But his faith in Hashem was absolute. There was no question in his mind of what he wanted to create, and he had no question that the funding he secured from the Joint Distribution Committee for the community in Fublianes was Hashem’s personal stamp of approval for the project. Later, when we outgrew that place, the whole community moved to Armentières-en-Brie during the 1960s.”

Recruiting students for the yeshivah proved to be more of a challenge. American-based relief organizations encouraged refugees to cross the Atlantic and to join existing Jewish communities in the United States, whereas Israeli and Zionist organizations worked hard to convince survivors to head for Palestine. Few people aspired to remain in Europe, but Rav Liebman had heard that the Sephardic com-

PRAYER IN NOVARDOK WAS KNOWN TO LAST FOR HOURS, AND WAS MARKED BY INTENSE SHOUTING AND FERVOR

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

147

munities in northern Africa had strongly traditional leanings, so he traveled to Morocco to spread the word about the yeshivah. In addition, there was another factor that made Morocco a logical destination to recruit students: Residents there spoke French and were citizens of France. That obviated the need to organize immigration documents, and helped streamline the newcomers’ entry into French society.

Once in Morocco, several families expressed interest in Liebman’s proposal to build a Novardok community, and by 1949 the first group of students had made the journey from west Africa. Shortly thereafter, Liebman opened a women’s division. One of the women in that initial group was Tamar Toledano’s older sister.

Toledano and other longtime residents recalled the poor state of the clearing in the forest outside Armentières-en-Brie that eventually became a Jewish community. “When we first arrived, all that was here were fruit trees, and frogs hopping around,” said 58-year-old Chava Marciano, wife of Rav Eliyahu Marciano and the daughter of Rav Liebman’s right-hand-man, Rav Chaim Halpern. “The only building here was a large château, and a few stables. There was no running water, so showers were taken in a metal basin that served as bathtub. My grandmother lived with us until she died on her bed in my parents’ house.”

Despite the physical hardships, Toledano, Marciano and others recall the early years as a time of passionate Torah learning and personal growth, and especially strong community bonds. It would be incorrect to say that old timers are nostalgic about that time, but several people did say that Rav Liebman almost thrived on the difficult conditions.

According to Chava Marciano, the material challenges of the early years were critical to developing Armentières-en-Brie as a center of Novardok mussar.

“I would certainly never say that Rabbeinu enjoyed the poverty, but the whole point of establishing Armentières-en-Brie was to provide a platform for people to work on their middos. Rabbeinu told us that the material challenges were an undisguised blessing, that it is a gift to make do with little physical luxuries. He said it forced us to become interdependent, to learn to form deep connections and to rely on one another, and that’s precisely what happened. Those experiences also created the conditions for us to educate Housing in Armentières-en-Brie

148 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

our children in the spirit of Novardok — with Torah values, humility, and the value of giving way to another person,” Marciano recalled.

“Rabbeinu dealt with the situation— he was responsible for the livelihoods of quite a few people—by escaping to the forest, sometimes for hours at a time,” said another man. “When he came back, he would deliver the most passionate mussar lessons you’ve ever heard. It was like he viewed the poverty as nothing more than a stepping stone for him to do teshuvah and to serve G-d,” said one person.

To weather the difficult conditions, the founders of the community banded together to create a communal style of living, modeled loosely on the Israeli kibbutz model. Rabbis Liebman, Halpern and Eliyahu Rotnimer understood that it would be nearly impossible to succeed if every person was left to his own efforts, but that the community could survive and thrive by banding together. In the early years, this meant various aspects of communal living—originally, there was one hot water tank for the entire community—and when donations were raised for family housing, apartments were allotted according to need and seniority, with no rent being charged.

Eventually, one early member of the community, Rav Binyamin Schwartz, suggested pooling the community’s skills and resources to create a building company, Le Refuge. Schwartz, who was schooled as a hydraulic engineer, built a project on paper, took many loans, and started building.

“Rabbeinu called it mesirut,” said Chava Marciano. “If you gave a shiur, the yeshivah would pay your living costs. People didn’t have much money, but they didn’t need much, either. The welfare program in France is extremely generous, so national insurance payments are enough for most people to live. And people work: They teach, or learn in kollel, or work as kashrus inspectors.

Eventually, however, the company collapsed in the 1980s when France was hit by a recession, banks repossessed many properties and Rav Chaim Halpern was forced to take a large loan to buy back the properties. Thankfully, the government had left people in their homes, but in

THE WHOLE POINT OF ESTABLISHING ARMENTIÈRESEN-BRIE WAS TO PROVIDE A PLATFORM FOR PEOPLE TO WORK ON THEIR MIDDOS

many cases national insurance payments were withheld.

Still, as a result of Le Refuge the community successfully set down roots in Armentières-en-Brie, building homes, apartment buildings, a synagogue and the yeshivah building.

Later, as material conditions here improved, Mrs. Marciano said that certain aspects of life obviously improved as well. But the community lost an indefinable sense of mutual responsibility as economic conditions improved.

“For example, take the issue of transportation: Years ago, there were only two or three cars in the neighborhood; most people relied on buses to get around when they needed to travel. But people would often knock on a neighbor’s door to ask if they could tag along on an outing to Meaux.

“Today? We’ve all got cars, so people are in a hurry all the time. We’ve become more materialistic, and that brings competition and jealousy. Who knocks on the neighbor’s door anymore?” lamented Chava Marciano.

IS THERE A FUTURE? If there is a down side to Armentièresen-Brie, it is that virtually no children raised here choose to make their adult homes in the Château du Vignois. Just one of Nissim and Tamar Toledano’s eight children has stayed, and none of Rav Eliyahu and Chava Marciano’s adult children has stayed. None of the teenage yeshivah students interviewed for this article said they planned to return to Armentière as adults, and every family I spoke to has family members in Israel: The community is represented in nearly every chareidi community in Israel: Jerusalem, Bnei Brak, Kiryat Sefer, Beitar Ilit and others.

Rav Eliyahu and Chava Marciano said

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

149

“IT WAS A BEAUTIFUL WAY TO GROW UP. NOW, AS AN ADULT, I CAN SAY THAT THERE WAS AN UNUSUAL SENSE OF YIRAS SHAMAYIM, AND THAT’S STAYED WITH ME."

that the community does inject fresh blood from time to time, and it is not unheard of for new families to join the community. But both husband and wife also said (in separate interviews) that newcomers undergo a lengthy, difficult acceptance process. That not only discourages some families from applying for membership, it also slows the process down for families that do want it.

On the other hand, Rav Marciano also said, “If we grow much bigger than we are right now, it won’t be the same place. It’s a constant struggle to find the right balance.”

Members of the community here do not view the fact that few Armentièrois remain in the community as a strike against their way of life. It seems that everyone here has first-degree relatives (parents, siblings, children) in Israel; for many, that is no less a point of pride than the fact that virtually all natives of Armentières-enBrie have remained pious, even after moving away from the Château.

Tefillah in the Beis Hamidrash

150 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

s”xc

vcuajv vatv ,nab hukhgku rfzk

v’’g .hcuerc ksbbhd ,rn Mrs. Genendl Berkowitz Current and former residents agree that Armentières-en-Brie has changed over the years, and they say that while the current community does indeed maintain ties to its Novardok history, it is also true that most people say the full power of the traditional Novardok method is difficult to achieve today, even in an isolated setting such as this.

“Even as little kids, we spent a lot of time learning mussar books like Orchos Tzaddikim and Mesilas Yesharim,” said Yael Toledano Sufrin, a native of Armentières-en-Brie who has lived in Canada for the past 25 years. “I can also remember sitting in the dark, lighting candles and singing. That puts a lot of fear into you. Then, a week or so before Rosh Hashanah, my father would join a group of men for a retreat during the period leading up to Yom Tov. My father told me they would learn mussar for hours at a time in huts in the forest, no matter what the weather.”

Today, Sufrin stresses that Armentières-en-Brie has changed a lot since she was a child here. Since the passing of Rav Liebman, the community has had no clear leader to set policy on such matters as technology, Internet use and other issues. In addition, Sufrin said enough new people have moved into the town that she no longer knows everybody. The Novardok mussar path has mellowed with the years.

And yet, she describes the hamlet as an idyllic place to grow up. She said the factors that attracted Rav Gershon Liebman to found the community in the French countryside created conditions for them to internalize the notions of modesty, humility and honestly serving G-d.

“We were sheltered, innocent and very naive,” she said. “It was a beautiful way to grow up. Now, as an adult, I can say that there was an unusual sense of yiras Shamayim, and that’s stayed with me.

Furthermore, growing up in the yeshivah community gave me a strong sense of faith and trust in Hashem. We learned to have absolute faith not only that there is a G-d, but that He is looking after us.

Those are qualities that have served me well in my life,” Sufrin said. 

Reaching Ever Higher Under the Dynamic Leadership of

Rebbetzin Ruthy Assaf Menaheles

Bella & Mrs. Weinreb Director

OUR NEW CUSTOMIZED STATE-OF-THE-ART BUILDING is located at 911 McDonald Avenue (off 18th Ave.)

We are gratified by the warm community reaction to our high level, full day quality Seminary program with students representing 22 different Bais Yaakov High Schools. We are particularly proud of our graduates, many of whom have joined the ranks of Mechanchos and Teachers of Klal Yisroel.

• • • • • •

Total immersion, 40 weekly period curriculum – a truly transformative year Inspirational and experiential opportunities complementing the academic program Combining chinuch, middos, yiras shomayim and the need to empower the next generation with knowledge, ability and responsibility Focusing on the chinuch of young Jewish women as a foundation of the chinuch of Klal Yisroel Elective course opportunities to personalize the program, with optional certified teacher training program and a full array of relevant courses in Toras HaBayis Dorming residence available capably staffed by Eim Habayis and Madrichos

:rbhnxv hbcr sguu ka o,frsvcu twwyhka iuxpkuu van crv

twwyhka cukrp cegh crv

twwyhka rdrcbzhht ihnhbc crv

twwyhka hbsurc whkt crv

tr,ts trn ,,gsu vru, ,chah jhdan ktrah ,bunt swwnvhc vkp,v kfhv tr,ts trn

,exbhnucubn rwwunst ktrah ,sudt atr

ihkeurc ,rhn ,chahs atr

We are privileged to have been vfuz to the strong personal endorsement of Rebbetzin Batsheva Kanievsky v”g, regarding the opening of our Seminary program, and setting our goals – “vjnacu vusjc vrvycu vausec”

Open House Information Evenings are scheduled in Lakewood on Nov 5, Monsey on Nov 18 and Brooklyn on Nov 20. Details will follow.

For information & application please call

718-298-2600

E-mail us at: info@thenysem.com

Applications will be available starting Nov. 5, 2013 and must be submitted by Dec. 24, 2013

Begin BEREISHIS with

c∑inuc∑ c∑umas∑ tiferes mic∑a’el 4Large, clear type 4Extra-reinforced side-sewn binding for durability 4Comfortable spacing between lines and a clean page design 4Page headings designed to help find the place easily 4Includes Targum Onkelos, Baal HaTurim and Ikkar Sifsei Chachamim 4The appendix repeats the complete text of Sefer Bereishis, indicating the SHORESH (root) of the word and its BINYAN (grammatical structure) 4Listing of the roshei teivos used by Rashi and their meanings 4Over twenty full-color pages with many important charts, illustrations, and maps to help young and old alike understand the material

THE SCHOTTENSTEIN EDITION

INTERLINEAR CHUMASH

NEW!

THE STONE EDITION

THE CHUMASH

Available: 5-volume slipcased set, 1-volume (full size and travel size)

Available: 5-volume gift set (mid-size and personal size) and 1-volume (full size and travel size)

With an annotated, interpretive elucidation and additional insights 8 volumes now available.

THE KLEINMAN EDITION

DAILY DOSE OF TORAH SERIES 1, 2, & 3

Available: Series 1 & 2 complete in 14-volume slipcased sets.

Series 3 complete in 13-volume slipcased set

THE DAVIS EDITION

BAAL HATURIM CHUMASH

RAV ASHER WIESS ON THE PARASHAH

THE CALL OF THE TORAH

by Rabbi Elie Munk

INSIGHTS IN THE TORAH — OZNAIM L’TORAH

by Rabbi Zalman Sorotzkin

LIVING THE PARASHAH VOL. I, II, & III

by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman

RABBI FRAND ON THE PARASHAH VOL. I, II, & III

by Rabbi Yissocher Frand

STUDIES IN THE WEEKLY PARASHAH

by Rabbi Yehudah Nachshoni

TOUCHED BY THE PARASHAH

by Rabbi Yechiel Spero

TORAH FOR YOUR TABLE

by Rebbetzin Esther Jungreis

ALEINU L'SHABEIACH

by Rabbi Yitzchok Zilberstein

FROM THE MAGGIDIM OF YESTERYEAR based on the Hebrew bestseller L'Haggid

SFORNO

by Rabbi Raphael Pelcovitz

TWERSKI ON CHUMASH

by Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D.

THE SAPIRSTEIN EDITION

RASHI

The Torah with Rashi's classic commentary translated, annotated, and elucidated by RABBI YISRAEL HERCZEG. Available: 5-volumes (full and student sizes) 17-vol. personal-size paperback booklet edition.

THE GRAFF-RAND EDITION

RAMBAN

The Torah with Ramban's commentary translated, annotated, and elucidated.

RAV LEVI YITZCHAK BERDITCHEV

by Rabbi Yaakov Yosef Reinman

SHABBOS WITH RAV PAM / RAV PAM ON CHUMASH / A VORT FROM RAV PAM

by Rabbi Sholom Smith

Available: complete in 7-volumes (full size and popular size)

‫ספר מסילת המהרש“א‬

The Torah with the Baal HaTurim’s classic commentary translated, annotated, and elucidated.

The Maharsha’s Aggados arranged according to the parshiyos (Hebrew)

by Rabbi Eliezer Ginsburg

Available: complete in 5-volumes

Available: complete in 5 volumes.

Additional titles on BEREISHIS

DARASH MOSHE VOLUMES I & II

by Harav Moshe Feinstein

Coming Soon: SHEMOS

The Torah, Haftaros and Five Megillos with a commentary anthologized from the Rabbinic writings.

THE KLEINMAN EDITION

SEASONINGS OF THE TORAH / KOL DODI ON THE TORAH

by Rabbi Dovid Feinstein

Now available BEREISHIS

The Torah, Haftaros and Five Megillos with an interlinear translation and a commentary anthologized from the rabbinic writings

MIDRASH RABBAH

2-VOLUME BEREISHIS elucidated by Rabbi Meir Zlotowitz

OUTLOOKS AND INSIGHTS

by Rabbi Zev Leff RAV SHACH ON CHUMASH

by Rabbi Asher Bergman LIVING EACH WEEK

by Rabbi Abraham J. Twerski, M.D. TABLE TALK

by Rabbi Raphael Pelcovitz

PIRKEI TORAH

by Rabbi Mordechai Gifter

THE ILLUMINATED TORAH

by Rabbi Yoneh Weinrib

TREASURY OF CHASSIDIC TALES ON THE TORAH

by Rabbi Shlomo Yosef Zevin

THE WEEKLY MIDRASH/ TZENAH URENAH 2 VOL. SET

by Miriam Stark Zakon

BRISK ON CHUMASH

by Rabbi Asher Bergman, translated by Rabbi Yaakov Blinder

RAV YOSEF CHAIM SONNENFELD ON THE PARASHAH

by Rabbi Shlomo Zalman Sonnenfeld

SHABBOS DELIGHTS

by Rabbi Aryeh Leib Lopiansky

WINDOWS TO THE SOUL

by Rabbi Michael Bernstein, M.D.

RABBI NISON ALPERT ON THE SIDRAH

by Rabbi Dovid Weinberger

MAJESTY OF MAN / PINNACLE OF CREATION

by Harav Henach Leibowitz

SICHOS MUSSAR

by Rabbi Chaim Shmulevitz

THE TORAH TREASURY

by Rabbi Moshe Lieber

INSPIRATION AND INSIGHTS

by Rabbi Shimon Finkelman A SHABBOS VORT

by Rabbi Yisroel Bronstein THE ESSENTIAL MALBIM

by Rabbi Reuven Subar and Rabbi Mendel Weinbach

Available now at your local Hebrew bookseller or at www.artscroll.com 1-800-MESORAH (637-6724)

yg@neshomos.com www.neshomos.com USA: 718.210.9757 Israel: 011.972.77.22.85.818

N OVA R D O K THRIVES A SECRET NO LONGER

154 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

A CONVERSATION WITH RAV CHAIM HALPERN OF ARMENTIÈRES-EN-BRIE

BY RABBI YITZCHOK FRANKFURTER

T

his past summer, when my wife and I were vacationing in the strikingly beautiful town of Banff, Alberta, in the Canadian Rockies, the last thing we thought we would discover was the idyllic French village of Armentières-en-Brie. But that is exactly where we learned about this delightful Novardok hamlet, located on the outskirts of Paris.

Actually, we didn’t make this discovery just like that. Shlomo Simcha Sufrin, the chasidic singer from Toronto, who was also vacationing in Banff at the time, was the one who told us about it. His wife, Yael Sufrin, née Toledano, is a native of Armentières-enBrie, and as soon as they described this unusual Novardok community to us we knew we had come across an astounding find.

Being unable to travel to Armentières-en-Brie myself, we immediately made arrangements for Ami’s very talented journalist, Avi Tuchmayer, to go there in my stead. We also figured it would be less of a shlep for him to get there from Israel than for me to fly there from New York. As soon as he set foot in the town he phoned me bubbling with excitement, saying that the place was “beyond description.” There was only one disappointment: Rav Chaim Halpern, the venerated right-hand man of Rav Gershon Liebman, zt”l, the founder of Novardok in France, wasn’t in town, but was actually in New York.

Avi’s disappointment, however, became my prize. Before long, Rav Chaim Halpern was in Ami’s offices sharing his life story with me. Did I hear anyone say that Novardok was extreme or extinct? If so, then he is apparently unfamiliar with the Torah revolution Rav Gershon Liebman brought about almost singlehandedly in France, and they certainly haven’t met his disciple Rav Chaim or looked him in the eye.

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

155

Sunrise in Banff, as seen from author's hotel room

TRAGIC BEGINNINGS One might find it surprising that a venerated Novardoker speaks in a chasidic Polish-accented Yiddish like Rav Chaim.

However, he communicates only part of his thoughts with words. Entire sentences, indeed paragraphs, are conveyed with his eyes or some other facial expression. One moment he may smile infectiously, and the next, sigh deeply. He gestures repeatedly and then pulls his hands back to his chest.

He completes his thoughts with a sideways or upward glance or wave.

He begins to tell me about his revered mentor, Rav Gershon Liebman, but I deliberately steer the conversation to him.

“I hail from a chasidic family in Warsaw,” he shares. “My father was an Ostrovtzer chasid,” he shares. “I learned by Rav Nosson Shpigelglass, one of the Polish geonim. We heard shiurim from Rav Menachem Zemba. My zeide was a very rich man and a big lamdan. He saved a lot of people through his tzedakah. The Ostrovtzer Rebbe would always send for my grandfather when he needed money.”

After sharing some of his childhood memories, I ask him where he was during the war.

“Everywhere,” he answers glumly. “I was first deported to the Treblinka concentration camp together with my mother, brothers and sisters. My father managed to stay in Warsaw, working for the Germans.

He was able to get me out of Treblinka and have me returned to Warsaw. I was brought back to the Ghetto on Erev Pesach 1943. My father was baking matzos.”

“How long did you stay in the Warsaw Ghetto?” I ask.

“Not long. After General Stroop, ym”sh, entered the Ghetto he sent a telegram to Hitler promising to make Warsaw Judenrein. I was sent to Majdanek. It was six kilometers away and we had to go there by foot in the terrible heat. We went three days without water.

“No one left Majdanek alive. It was a miracle that the Germans selected 600 people to go to work in a wool factory. That was the only time people were allowed to leave Majdanek. I was one of the 600. Only a few survived. Most of them died of typhus.”

“You were in the Ghetto during the uprising?” I ask, somewhat incredulously.

“Yes. I was there. The uprising began on Erev Pesach, April 19, and went on until

156 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

May 12. It wasn’t as big as people say. You think they could fight the German bazookas? Some uprising!” he says with a dismissive gesture.

He also doesn’t seem to have any theological difficulties in understanding the Holocaust.

“The tochachah [Biblical verses of rebuke] was fulfilled from beginning to end,” he says in a somber tone, “without leaving anything out. ‘If you walk contrary to Me, then I will also walk contrary to you. Because you did not serve Hashem with happiness and joy.’ It was all middah k’neged middah, measure for measure.

“I remember how hefker the Jewish youth were at the time. I remember their marches,” he says, starting to hum a tune.

“The father would be sitting by the table with a shtreimel and the kids would be out doing their thing,” he continues. “It wasn’t just a spiritual decline, it was outright rebellion. Communists, socialists, Zionists… Kids cut off their pei’os. I saw it.

Memeilah, voos…” he says lifting his eyes upward, implying that G-d’s punishment was to be expected.

“Where were you when you were liberated?” I ask.

“RAV GERSHON WAS THE EMBODIMENT OF MESIRAS NEFESH, SELF-SACRIFICE. HE BUILT 40 TORAH INSTITUTIONS IN FRANCE WITHOUT ANY MONEY." “Theresienstadt.” He then lists in a singsong the numerous camps to which he was deported.

When I tell him that I thought Theresienstadt was one of the more “tolerable” camps he disagrees. “No, they even ran out of places to kill people there. They would bring them from the other camps and shoot at them from the turrets. My father died in Mauthausen on the sixth day of Pesach, a few days before the liberation.”

MEETING RAV GERSHON

Rav Gershon Liebman

“When did you first meet Rav Gershon Liebman?”

“After the liberation, in Sulzheim, a suburb of Frankfurt, in the American Zone. A lot of refugees were making their way there after the war. He had opened a yeshivah on the very day Bergen-Belsen was liberated. It was the first post-liberation yeshivah. I was there with Rav Gershon from 1945 until the end of 1948. People with no desire to live came to him for advice and encouragement, and he took them all under his wing. Many of them were Hungarian. Everyone was taken into his yeshivah. I remember he had a hat made of paper.

We've Changed more than just our name.

‫בס"ד‬

Keser Nursing & Rehabilitation - soon to be known as Bedford Center - is ushering in a higher level of care to benefit the Jewish community. Luxurious interior renovations. A state-of-the-art therapy gym. An innovative cardiac program in affiliation with NYU Medical Center. There's real change happening at the new Bedford Center. And our name says it all.

Skilled Nursing, Rehabilitative & Sub-Acute Care Short-Term Rehabilitation & Individualized Therapy Programs Specialized Ventilator Unit & Pulmonary Rehabilitation Accepting Medicare, Medicaid & Most Insurance Plans

Wishing all of K'lal Yisroel a Chag Kosher V'sameach!

40 Heyward St.

718.858.6200 Williamsburg Bklyn NY BedfordCenter.com

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

157

The Yeshiva in Armentières-en-Brie

ONE BACHUR HAD AN UNCLE IN AMERICA WHO SENT HIM A FEW DOLLARS. HE GAVE IT AWAY TO THE OTHER BACHURIM. HE WOULDN’T TAKE ANYTHING FOR HIMSELF.

“I had a cousin in America, Rav Wohlgelernter in Chicago. He came right after the war with the Vaad Hatzalah and found out that I had survived. He’s the one who put me in touch with Rav Gershon. In November 1948, Rav Gershon and I traveled together to France.”

“How would you describe him?” I prod.

“He was one of the ‘remnants of the Great Assembly’ of Novardok. Before the war, he was part of the rabbinical leadership in Bialystok with Rav Avraham Yoffen, zt”l. They called him Rav Gershon Ostropoler. He was friends with the Steipler Gaon. He even accompanied him from Bialystok to the Chazon Ish in Vilna for the Steipler’s shidduch.”

“Tell me about his greatness.”

“First of all, he had an unbelievable level of bitachon, an absolute conviction that Hashem was looking out for him, and an instinctive drive to bring Torah to the Jewish people and the world. Back in 1941, even before he was sent to the camps, the Russians had already sent the entire Bialystok yeshivah to Siberia, and the Germans were forcing Jews to dig their own graves at Ponar and shooting them into the open pits. Rav Gershon wasn’t caught and remained in Vilna when the Germans came in. He went to the Jewish head of the Ghetto and asked if he could open a yeshivah. ‘“A yeshivah!?’ he replied. “The Germans are here every day taking people out to kill them!” ‘“I want to open a yeshivah!’ Rav Gershon repeated.

158 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

“They couldn’t believe how stubborn he was, but he persisted and was eventually granted permission. Whoever didn’t experience it personally can’t really understand what it means to start a yeshivah under the Germans. Rav Gershon’s level of bitachon was incomparable. ‘Va’ani b’chasdecha batachti—I will trust in Your loving-kindness”—that’s how he lived. He collected as many ration cards as he could for the yeshivah staff (you couldn’t get bread without it) and saved a lot of people that way.

“The yeshivah in the Vilna Ghetto was open until he and his talmidim were deported by the Germans to the camps.

Soon after the liberation, he found an old shul in Hanover with a full set of Mishnayos, and divided it up so the boys would have something to learn.

“The man was the embodiment of mesiras nefesh, self-sacrifice. He built 40 Torah institutions in France without any money. ‘Hashem will give us what we need,’ was his refrain. And He always did.

“He was also very fervent about perfecting his character traits and running away

from honor. After the war, many leading rabbis would come to visit his yeshivos, but he avoided them because he didn’t want to be given any honors. That was the mussar of Novardok. He didn’t want anything for himself. Everything in his life had one purpose only: to bring honor to Hakadosh Baruch Hu. “There’s a Yid in Flatbush who has a beis midrash named Rav Groinem Lazewnik.

He learned in Mezritch under Rav Dovid Blecher, one of the Alter’s talmidim. He lived through the war and came to Rav Gershon right after it ended and became a maggid shiur in the yeshivah. A few years ago he told me that when Rav Herzog, the former Chief Rabbi of Eretz Yisrael, visited the yeshivah in 1945, they made a big kabbalas panim for him. Rav Gershon, however, was nowhere to be found. That’s how much he ran away from kavod!

“One time a delegation from the Vaad Hatzalah in America came to the yeshivah.

Rav Leizer Silver showed up in his army uniform. Again they asked for Rav Gershon and he wasn’t there. That was the

way of Novardok. He didn’t want anything for himself. Everything was for the sake of Heaven.

“There is a sefer called Madreigas Ha’adam, by the Alter of Novardok. Rav Gershon was a living Madreigas Ha’adam.”

IN THE FRENCH COUNTRYSIDE “What do you remember about the beginnings of Armentières-en-Brie?” I ask.

“In 1947 Rav Gershon was busy building up the yeshivah while working tirelessly for the Vaad Hatzalah. He had a visa for America but he didn’t want to go there.

Then someone told him that there was a group of Jews in Morocco, so he traveled there and spent five weeks going from village to village recruiting boys. That was in 1948, and he brought them over soon afterwards. First we were in Lyon, then we moved closer to Paris, to Bailly and then to Fublaines. Rav Gershon also opened a school for girls, so the boys would be able to find shidduchim.”

“Who taught in his yeshivah?”

“There were various maggidei shiur but

adlibunlimited.com

All Rehab All the Time

™

in the heart of Boro Park . . .

/ / / ihtkg ihzhpaut

EvEryonE Is WElcomE to our succah!

Our beautiful Succah is available to the Public.

For reservations please call

718-851-1000 ext. 626

5606 15th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11219

718-851-1000

www.theheritagecenter.com

Wishing all of Klal Yisroel a

! jnau raf dj

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

159

he was the actual head of all the mosdos.

He would travel all over France to check in on everything. Everything Rav Gershon founded was based on the Novardok mehalech. A bachur has to give up all his shtuyos! He also supported numerous yungeleit and determined their stipends.

“His shmuessen were some of the most amazing I have ever heard. He spoke every Friday night and on Motzaei Shabbos, telling people what they needed and what they really didn’t need, what they could relinquish and what they shouldn’t… He was like a mussar machine! He also gave chaburos during the week. Whoever didn’t witness it can’t really understand what it was like. And Elul! Watching what you say, the importance of guarding your eyes from improper sights...

“He didn’t just talk about a pasuk; he challenged everyone in the room. ‘Do you have a hechsher on yourself? Who are you?’

He had genuine fear of G-d. His faith and

love for Torah had no limit.”

Rav Gershon’s bitachon and superior middos were apparently infectious.

“In 1947, there were some bachurim who had no suits. A few weeks before Rosh Hashanah Rav Gershon somehow got his hands on 20 new suits, but none of the boys would take one because they all wanted the others to benefit first. In the end, no one took them and the suits all became hefker. One bachur had an uncle in America who sent him a few dollars.

He gave it away to the other bachurim. He wouldn’t take anything for himself. That was the education they received, all influenced by Rav Gershon’s mesiras nefesh.”

“So basically the shtetl in Armentièresen-Brie was the headquarters and launching pad for all his other schools,” I observe.

“There were a few mosdos in Lyon and Nice and maybe seven in Paris—tens of thousands of students over the years! A lot of the schools in Paris were for everyone;

160 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

lots of kids from homes that weren’t observant. But everything was always in the spirit of mussar, regardless of the level of Yiddishkeit. Some schools just taught basic Judaism, while others were more advanced and had more mussar. Rav Gershon’s shtetl was on a very high level.”

“Was your Rebbetzin also his student?” I ask.

“My wife was educated by Rav Dessler in Gateshead. After she finished seminary, he sent her to Kfar Saba in Eretz Yisrael, to teach in a school for Yemenite girls. She was there for a year. We were married in 1956.”

“And Rav Gershon’s personal life?”

“He had a Rebbetzin, but no children.”

“Did he engage a lot in hisbodedus (solitary contemplation)?”

“Rav Gershon asked us to build him a small shed in the forest. He would go there to learn mussar with awe and trepidation.

We could hear him saying, ‘Hakin’ah, hata-

"IN A BEIS HABEDIDUS, THERE AREN'T ANY CITY DISTRACTIONS, AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE EMBARRASSED TO RAISE YOUR VOICE OR TO CRY.”

avah v’hakavod motzi’in es ha’adam min haolam—Envy, desire and the pursuit of honor drive a man from the world.’

“There are still several little bungalows like that out in the forest where people go to learn mussar out loud, without any interruptions. In a beis habedidus, there aren’t any city distractions, and you don’t have to be embarrassed to raise your voice or to cry.”

“Did Rav Gershon shut the lights when he gave his mussar shmuessen?”

“He would do that in Elul, for a special hisorerus. They would go into a room and shut the lights, and he would weep as if he were delivering a eulogy.”

“There were working people in Armentières-en-Brie ?”

“Sure. But it was still a very unique place.”

A MERE SHAMMES

SA

LE

“What was your official position there?” I ask him.

“I was Rav Gershon’s shammes,” he tells me humbly.

Rav Chaim’s son, who is present, interjects: “My father was the manager of everything. He was Rav Gershon’s right-hand man.

Whenever important people came to the yeshivah he escorted them around. He became friendly with many big baalei batim and got them to help the yeshivah.”

“Your father was responsible for fundraising?” I ask the son.

“Yes. He still is. But he had a lot of help, especially from Reb Eliyahu Rotnimer, an engineer he met in Paris. He was very educated and had many government and other connections This person used

to say about my father, ‘Kol mah shekanah eved, kanah rabo,’ meaning that everything he achieved in business was to my father’s credit. They were like brothers. Rotnimer ran all the businesses they started to support the yeshivah. In its heyday, the network had 40 schools and

Winter Special

TO ISRAEL $682.00 $969.00

stop-over

Including all taxes and non-stop surcharges

Limited Seats Available

BOOK NOW!

Business

>

Leisure

>

Cars

>

Hotels

>

Insurance

> Cell Phones

718.972.6000 SALES@DOALLTRAVEL.COM

A Beautiful New Concept in Saying Tehilim & Supporting your Fellow Jew.

DAVEN

FOR ME

& I’LL

DAVEN

FOR YOU ‫רפואה • שידוכים • חינוך הילדים‬ ‫זרע של קיימא • פרנסה • הצלחה‬ Daven For Me matches up people in need of the same type of tefilos to say Tehilim for each other.

Founded based on the Talmudic dictum:

‫כל המתפלל בעד חברו‬ ‫והוא צריך לאותו דבר‬ ‫הוא נענה תחילה‬ Imagine the impact in Shamayim when “Daven For Me and I’ll Daven For You” tefilos collectively storm the heavens!

Joining this program is easy, free and is tremendously rewarding!

Phone Fax Email Website

718.437.8812 718.437.8802 info@davenforme.org www.davenforme.org

6,000 kids. Rav Gershon was behind everything.

“Rav Gershon would meet with my father and Mr. Rotnimer every Sunday and give them tasks to execute, like where to open up a yeshivah and exactly what to do. This went on for 40 years. Instead of just fundraising the traditional way, Rotnimer used his many contacts and built apartment buildings so the rental income could be used to support the schools. They were even able to send money to other yeshivos: Lakewood, Ponovezh, Migdal Ha’emek. This continued until the late 1980s when the banks in France went bankrupt. The yeshivah lost everything and they had to start shnorring again.

“For years there was one central office, but the time eventually came when they needed individual offices for each school with its own director in charge of finances. All the directors are talmidim of Rav Gershon.”

“That’s very interesting, having a yeshivah invest in real estate and business ventures.

How did that come about?”

“My father used to go around collecting money,” the son answers. “The baalei batim who used to help him came up with the idea. ‘You know so many people,’ they said.

‘Maybe we should organize some businesses to raise money.’ They were really dedicated to the yeshivah. At one point the yeshivah owned 3,000 units in Paris. They built over 30,000 units altogether. Rav Gershon didn’t really want the yeshivah to engage in business. My father essentially did it behind his back. He felt he had to do it. They needed tens of millions of dollars a year.

“One time a philanthropist called us from Paris and said, ‘Your father made us rich. He pushed us to work even on Sundays [unheard of in France] and helped us build a real estate empire.’”

“Where did the yeshivah get the original investment money?” I ask.

“The donors contributed money as part of some government tax benefit programs, and we became partners. A portion of the profit went to the yeshivah. My father never took a penny for himself. The managers of the company drove Bentleys; my father drove a Renault. We lived okay, but we had no luxuries.

“The rental income supported all 40 schools for over 30 years, until the crash. We also built the school buildings. But today, we’re back to collecting for the yeshivos.

“My father used his first reparations check from Germany to buy the first parcel of land for the yeshivah. To him, the yeshivah was his house, his home. Whatever money was in his pocket he felt belonged to the yeshivah. It became natural to him.”

PERSONAL RECOLLECTIONS “Do you remember Rav Gershon well?” I solicit from the son.

“Very well. I remember his house on Pesach,” he reminisces. “He would come to us for the sedarim. My father’s relationship with him was special. My sister cooked for him for 25 years. During the week, Rav Gershon lived in the yeshivah with the bachurim while his wife stayed in their apartment. On Shabbos he went home, and on Yom Tov she went to him in the yeshivah, except for the sedarim. I remember one Pesach I stole the afikoman from him and told him I wanted a Sony Walkman. At that time it was a new thing.

Rabbi Linzberg had one he had brought from America, and he gave it to me.”

“How many children are in your family?”

“There were 11 of us, but one of my brothers was niftar 20 years ago on the FDR Drive. He was here collecting money with my father. My father was actually with him when the accident occurred. My brother was 40 years old when he passed away.

“There are four sisters, one in Yerushalayim and three in France. One is married to a rosh yeshivah, two to roshei kollel and one to a dayan. Two of my brothers are in France, one is in Manchester and one is also in Yerushalayim.”

“Did Rav Gershon author any sefarim?” I ask.

“His talmidim wrote down some of the shmuessim he gave during what we called the ‘tekufas habedidus’ between Purim and Pesach,” his son tells me. “Instead of going home bein hazmanim, the entire yeshivah would move a few hundred miles away to an empty

summer colony near the sea. Every day there would be an extra two or three hours of mussar; those are the shmuessim that are written down. We went there with our father. The yeshivah still does this until today, but only for the shloshes yemei hagballah (three days before the festival of Shavuos). We also learned lamdus, but there was always an emphasis on mussar and avodas hamiddos, especially during Elul.

“Rav Gershon always explained the line in the Haggadah, ‘Yachol meirosh chodesh,’ as meaning that all the yeshivah bachurim are waiting for Rosh Chodesh to finish the zman. However, ‘Talmud lomar, bayom hahu.’ We cannot go home until the day of Yom Tov; we must stay and learn mussar.

I remember one year we had no bein hazmanim. For one week of the summer we went to learn somewhere else. Then it stretched out to the whole summer.”

“Was he a distinguished figure, a baal tzurah?” I inquire.

“He was a malach Elokim, an angel of G-d,” is the son’s response. “He had those blue eyes... I remember I was once sitting in the back of the beis midrash. There were about 300 bachurim there. Rav Gershon would look from his shtender at any bachur who dared to talk—with fire in his eyes.

You were scared to talk.”

“How many people lived in the shtetl?”

“About 120 big families. Ninety-seven percent were Moroccan and three Ashkenazic: Halpern, Schwartz (my mother, a”h, was a Schwartz) and Rotnimer.

“Rav Gershon never had a hakpadah

“L’SHEIM SHAMAYIM HAS MANY LEVELS. THERE’S L’SHEIM SHAMAYIM, THEN THERE'S A HIGHER LEVEL OF L’SHEIM SHAMAYIM, AND THEN THERE’S AN EVEN LOFTIER LEVEL. RAV GERSHON ATTAINED THE HIGHEST.” [grudge] against anyone. He said in the name of Rav Yisrael Salanter, ‘Hata’avah b’makom hakpadah,’ meaning that a person is obligated to work on himself not to have hakpados just as he works on himself not to have ta’avos.”

“A lot of gedolim after the war didn’t have children. As a result,” I say, “they were kulo l’sheim Shamayim (completely devoted to Heaven).”

“Interesting point,” Rav Chaim answers before adding reflectively, “But l’sheim Shamayim has many levels. There’s l’sheim Shamayim, then there’s a higher level of l’sheim Shamayim, and then there’s an even loftier level. Rav Gershon attained the highest.”

Rav Chaim’s son adds, “Rav Gershon left nothing tangible behind when he left the world—no empire, no sefarim,

no chasidus. He was really entirely l’sheim Shamayim.”

“And that goes for ruchniyus, too,” notes Rav Chaim. “The anecdotes about Rav Herzog and Rav Leizer Silver are just the tip of the iceberg. In the yeshivah itself, he was l’sheim Shamayim. ‘Mi yakum bimkom kodsho?’ Who has a musag what this man was like?” With a sob he adds, “Only the heart can understand!”

His son continues, “There was nothing of Yiddishkeit in France after the war.

There was one small kosher butcher shop in Hoff. All the Yiddishkeit that exists in France today is because of Rav Gershon.

He paved the road. Had he wanted kavod he could have gotten it. So many schools were started because of him. He could have taken the credit. But he always stood to the side—never went to gatherings of

gedolim. He ran from them. My father is also like that. In yeshivah, he sits in the back.

“Today there are hundreds of shuls in Paris. The Yiddishkeit is tremendous.

Everything is in Rav Gershon’s merit. He was the start of everything.”

“But the only true Novardok was in the shtetl?” I ask for clarification.

“Yes, but all the schools were run with those ideals to some extent.”

“They really went around with torn clothing in the shtetl?” I want to know.

“No. Maybe back in the ‘60s. He wasn’t as harsh as people think. He was softer.

“What was so unique about his yeshivah?”

“The idea of mesiras nefesh, of remembering that we aren’t living only for today.

Just ask anyone who ever learned there.

They all say things like, ‘If not for the mussar we learned in yeshivah, we wouldn’t be where we are today. Everything Rav Gershon taught us—emunah, eschewing kavod, avodas hamiddos—stayed with us for life.”

“Was he also a talmid chacham?”

“Yes. He was a very big baki, although he never gave shiurim. He wanted to give the other ramim a push. He sat behind and observed. He was always in beis midrash for every seder. He never missed one.”

“How old was he when he passed away?”

“Ninety-six. He was niftar on 29 Adar in 1999. The Rebbetzin’s yahrtzeit is 10 Teves.

She passed away in 2004.”

“He was vital and energetic until the end?”

“Yes.” “I heard there was a split after he passed away.”

“There was a difference of opinion. They wanted some changes, and there was a din Torah. As usual, my father gave in. In fact, Rav Nissim Karelitz wrote, ‘This entire heskem was reached because of the compromise of Rav Chaim.’ It was a big kiddush Hashem.”

“Is the yeshivah still functioning?”

“Yes. It has 80 boys, plus the kollel and yeshivah ketanah and the girls’ school. The other mosdos are still in the network and have around 4,000 students, but each

menahel has his own responsibilities. The properties still belong to us, but they all have different degrees of dependence on the central office. There used to be 500 people working in the central office; now there are ten. I’m in charge of the yeshivah’s properties. We’re not involved in construction like before, but there is a project to build 50 houses in the shtetl. My father comes to the United States twice a year to fundraise.”

Without any prompting, Rav Chaim finishes the conversation where we started: Rav Gershon Liebman.

“There are many devotees of mussar,” he says reflectively, “but he was more than that. He was a lomeid mussar. He would spend a half hour on a Rabbeinu Yonah.

The greatest punishment of the Holocaust is that this doesn’t exist anymore.”

EPILOGUE Some people might think that Novardok once was and is no more. But as I discover today, it is very much alive, thanks to the efforts of a singular gadol who built up an entire empire of Yiddishkeit while seeking nothing for himself, not even name recognition. Indeed, perhaps that is why Novardok is not generally recognized for what it is: one of the most important contributors to the rebuilding of Yiddishkeit after the war.

In both his propagation of Torah and his aversion to being in the limelight, Rav Gershon epitomized the Novardok path.

The Novardok Yeshivah in Navahrudak,

164 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

then part of the Russian Empire, was established in 1896 by Rav Joseph Jozel Horwitz. Known as the “Alter fun Novardok,” or the Elder of Novardok, he was an alumnus of the Kovno Kollel and a talmid of Rabbi Yisrael Salanter. His yeshivah became one of the biggest and most important in preWorld War II Europe, and a powerful force in the mussar movement.

Numerous yeshivos were established with Novardok’s unique approach, particularly during the tenure of Rav Avraham Yoffen, the Alter’s son-in-law and successor. In Poland alone, Novardok established no fewer than 70 yeshivos of varying sizes. Dispatched from its base in Białystok, Poland, where it had relocated after the Bolshevik revolution, teams were sent to scout out various towns and cities and assess their suitability for a yeshivah.

The extensive network reportedly supplied half of all the students at Eastern Europe’s other famous yeshivos.

Rav Gershon Liebman, a prize disciple of Rav Avraham Yoffen in Bialystok, continued in his master’s ways of spreading Torah and Yiddishkeit in Europe, primarily in France. All of his efforts were purely for the sake of Heaven, without a single ulterior or selfish motive. Today, Rav Gershon’s disciple, Rav Chaim Halpern, continues this tradition.

Torah has many builders, but only rarely are they so anonymous and unknown.

Novardok is still thriving. That so few are aware of this is the biggest proof of Novardok’s perpetuity.

•

Your Own

Sparkling Fountain

Interested in the Medical Profession?

Become a Sonographer (Ultrasound Technologist)

Treat yourself to the experience of a European bidet...

Every day...

The Wonder Bidet is not only luxury, it’s a hygienic and convenient way to cleanse.

The Wonder Bidet is a device that installs easily to the rim of your toilet seat. It operates through the fresh water supply coming into the toilet. By pressing a lever a stream of soothing water is activated to gently clean on a level far superior to simply using bathroom tissue.

The Wonder Bidet provides relief for hemorrhoids, constipation and skin irritations which becomes aggravated when cleansing with tissues. So, if you keep fresh wipes in the bathroom, replace them with the more convenient Wonder Bidet and never worry about finding an empty box again. The Wonder Bidet never runs out of water and is always ready for you.

Convenient for toddler care, indispensable for elderly care, and wonderful for everybody in between.

For every bathroom in your house. You’ll wonder how you ever did without.

Prices Starting at

$

55

Apply now for our two year full-time program beginning October 21, 2013 New York Methodist Hospital Center for Allied Health Education is accredited by the Accrediting Bureau of Health Education Schools.

The program is accredited by the Joint Review Committee on Education in Diagnostic Medical Sonography.

For an application or more information

718-645-3500 info@nymahe.org www.nymahe.org No Electricity May be used on Shabbos

Hot & Cold

Available in Electric & Non-Electric

Center for Allied Health Education 1401 Kings Highway

646.450.2082

Free Delivery!

Brooklyn, NY 11229

Financial Aid is available for those who qualify Program follows a shomer shabbos schedule

P H OTO E S S AY

Left, a soap dish in decay.

Bathroom, Grossinger’s Catskill Resort and Hotel, Liberty, NY

RUIN S of th e

BORSCHT

BELT

A photo essay and conversation with documentary photographer Marisa Scheinfeld

by Rabbi Yitzchok Frankfurter

F

or me, looking at photographs is a different aesthetic experience from appreciating other works of art. A person’s reaction to a given piece is usually in response to its physical form and qualities; pleasure is derived from the immediate sensory experience. When looking at photographs, however, the subject matter and its relationship to the world must also be taken into account. In other words, a photograph cannot be experienced on a strictly sensory level but must also be processed intellectually.

Merging sensory experience with intellect, though, allows room for ideology to influence the outcome. This entanglement seems inevitable when considering photographs. Because photos lend themselves to various interpretations and can tell different stories to different people, a person’s mindset and beliefs can affect his understanding.

When I viewed Marisa Scheinfeld’s magnificent photographs of the ruins of the Borscht Belt, they symbolized for me the story of the disappearing Jew in America through assimilation. Before me were grand hotels in various states of decay along with mere hints of the once prosperous Jewish guests who vacationed in them. What remains of both are truly only ruins.

Yet she interprets the photos differently.

“I don’t really look at it as a story of assimilation,” she tells me. “I see it as the universal story of Americans. It’s an epidemic where we Americans have, use, and then abandon. Americans continuously take in and expel—like Detroit, a city that was prosperous and gave us a car industry and was then mismanaged and failed. I really look at it as a cautionary tale for the 21st century.”

She is not, though, entirely dismissive of my interpretation. “I can appreciate your perspective, and yes, many Jews have assimilated. But as a Jew whose own family has assimilated, the feeling of being Jewish and how proud I am to be Jewish, regardless of the level of my observance, is still embedded in my heart and soul.”

Coffee Shop, Grossinger’s Catskill Resort and Hotel, Liberty, NY

The Persian Room, The Pines Hotel, South Fallsburg, NY

170 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

171

So her own strong Jewish identity prevents her from seeing it as the story of the disappearing secular Jew? “True, as time has gone by, many Jews have assimilated. My own family was Orthodox two generations ago and I consider myself a secular Jew. But adjectives aside, I am a Jew. You could look at it like that if you wish. But I don’t necessarily take that viewpoint. I look at it as a tale of America. The beauty of art is that it is open to interpretation and opinion.”

So it’s not even a Jewish story?

“I don’t like to say something is one or the other. To me, things are always a little of both. There’s a lot of Jewish history in the Catskills as well as world history. I like to emphasize histories, in the plural.”

Of course, there’s an undeniably and particular Jewish connection to the Borscht Belt.

“No matter the level of observance, there is someone in every Jewish family with a connection. The Borscht Belt began in the 1920s as a reaction to discrimination. The simple fact was that Jews were banned from most hotels in America. The industry was

born out of a desire for Jews to experience an American-style vacation in the country, while also holding on to the customs and observances that were sacred to them. It was also a big plus that the Catskills look a lot like the places in Europe many of the immigrants came from. Most of the hotels were kosher when they started, but of course, some were more religious than others.”

“Aren’t there basically two Jewish stories in the Catskills, the Orthodox story and the non-Orthodox story?” I insist.

“I think the contemporary phenomenon of Orthodox Jews in the Catskills is different from the one that previously existed. Today, Orthodox Jews make up a large percentage of the county’s (Sullivan County’s) summertime visitors. My family and I embrace the businesses that have sprung up—everything from the bakeries to the falafel places. Other locals don’t have the same attitude, but the Orthodox Jews flocking to the region each summer certainly provide commerce that the area wouldn’t have otherwise. You still have Jews who aren’t Orthodox vacationing in the Catskills, but a lot of the old

172 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

(above) Guest Room, Jennie G. Building, Grossinger’s Catskill Resort and Hotel; (below, right) Hallway, Jennie G. Building

Borscht Belt hotels and bungalow colonies have been bought by Orthodox Jews, so in a sense the area has been revived in a completely new way. I wish there was a way to forge more connections between the locals and the summer Orthodox crowd. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but I understand the boundaries of each group. I know people in both circles and find myself mingling between them.”

Why does she think that the era of the Borscht Belt’s magnificent hotels ultimately came to an end?

“There were many reasons why the Borscht Belt failed. Some people just didn’t want to go to a Jewish hotel. They wanted to go to Europe or Atlantic City or Las Vegas. Others attribute it to the growth of the airline industry. Some say it was because women took a more active role in the work force. You could also say that everything in

the world has its season.”

“Are you a professional photographer?” I ask.

“Yes. I’ve been taking pictures since I was 15. In high school I learned all about film and how to develop photographs in a darkroom. That’s when I got hooked. I have both a Bachelor of Fine Arts [degree] and a Master of Fine Arts [degree] in photography.”

“Which period of art history interests you the most?” I inquire.

“I suppose my favorite would be the period of the 1800s, when photography was first invented. I’m fascinated by how its discovery changed the world. Photography allowed people to see beyond their own living rooms and towns and gave them a glimpse of different customs, traditions and lifestyles around the world. Photography allowed for an exploration of the world for those who couldn’t actually travel; that’s how the term ‘armchair travel’ was coined.”

“Which part of the world were you born in?”

“I was born in Brooklyn. My parents

Wh en I vi ewed Marisa Sch einfeld’s magni ficent p hoto grap hs of th e ruins of th e Borscht B elt, th ey sym bo lized for me th e story of th e d isappearing J ew in America through assi m i lati on. lived in Flatbush, but shortly afterwards we moved to the Bronx. My parents both grew up in Brooklyn, my father on Ocean Parkway and Avenue J, and my mother in Sheepshead Bay. My father’s father is from Poland. My grandparents, Ruth and Jack, actually met in the Catskills. After my grandparents got married they used to go up to the Catskills all the time, and when

my father and his sister were born, they also came along. The Catskills were a big part of our family life, way before me. My whole family is embedded in its hills.”

“Where did you grow up?”

“We lived in the Bronx until I was six, when my dad finished medical school. He had been going to the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and was now looking for a job.

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

173

He didn’t want to raise a family in the city and was offered a position in the Catskills.

So that’s how we ended up [living] up there.

“Some of my earliest Catskill memories are of going to these Borscht Belt hotels with my grandparents, especially Kutsher’s and the Concord, because we lived right in the middle between both hotels. I remember playing bingo and cards and going for the Jewish holidays and going to the café and the pool. These hotels were immense compounds, and I could run around and be free. I wasn’t really conscious that they were no longer in their heyday, but from the stories I overheard I knew they must have been really great. These stories were unavoidable, whether from family members, friends or locals. They always talked about how busy the hotels were with the shows and entertainment. And the food, of course.

“One summer when I was in high school, I worked as a lifeguard at the Concord.

That was the last year before it closed. Then I went away to college and didn’t think of the region much except as my hometown.

I knew it was experiencing many difficulties, especially economically speaking, but it was a cherished place I loved and still love to return to. The Borscht Belt really began

to deteriorate when I was a teenager. The entire economy of the country (the Catskills region) was built around the hotel industry, and when they closed the whole county took a downturn. And along with the hotel industry, a sense of pride in the area was also lost.

“Do you live in New York now?”

“On the Upper West Side.”

“When did you become interested in the Borscht Belt from a photographic perspective?”

“I knew that the region had a great history, this notorious Jewish-American, post-WWII era that had thrived and was internationally famous, even though I’d only seen a tiny glimpse of it in its dying days. I realized that people were slowly forgetting about it. The people who had worked and vacationed there were growing old, and the structures were falling apart and decaying and becoming eyesores in the community.

I starting making trips back home during my school breaks to do research, read books and drive around a lot. I tried to get my hands on any old photos and information about the Borscht Belt as I could. There was a treasure trove of stuff. The Borscht Belt was a cherished part of Americana, written

174 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

Ice Skating Rink, Pines Hotel, South Fallsburg, NY

about countless times in literature and personal memoirs. There were many archival images and postcards, but as far as I knew there had never been a comprehensive fine art photographic documentation of the region. So I began to do something known as re-photography. Re-photography is the process of ‘now and then’ photography: the act of taking an old picture or postcard and remaking it under the conditions that exist today, from the same vantage point and position as the photographer who took it long ago. It is a very precise method and takes a lot of time.”

“Can you give me an example of re-photography of a hotel?”

“Okay. I had a postcard of what was once the indoor pool at a hotel called the Laurels in Sackett Lake. The hotel burned down in the 1990s. I went up there and shot a picture of the same pool, but today it’s outdoors. This immediately became a metaphor for the passage of time. It turned on a light bulb in my head. What happens to things over time, to places and people? How do they change, evolve and move forward?

cleverly.

www.beverlywig.com

P H OTO E S S AY

Left, a soap dish in decay.

Bathroom, Grossinger’s Catskill Resort and Hotel, Liberty, NY

RUIN S of th e

BORSCHT

BELT

A photo essay and conversation with documentary photographer Marisa Scheinfeld

by Rabbi Yitzchok Frankfurter

F

or me, looking at photographs is a different aesthetic experience from appreciating other works of art. A person’s reaction to a given piece is usually in response to its physical form and qualities; pleasure is derived from the immediate sensory experience. When looking at photographs, however, the subject matter and its relationship to the world must also be taken into account. In other words, a photograph cannot be experienced on a strictly sensory level but must also be processed intellectually.

Merging sensory experience with intellect, though, allows room for ideology to influence the outcome. This entanglement seems inevitable when considering photographs. Because photos lend themselves to various interpretations and can tell different stories to different people, a person’s mindset and beliefs can affect his understanding.

When I viewed Marisa Scheinfeld’s magnificent photographs of the ruins of the Borscht Belt, they symbolized for me the story of the disappearing Jew in America through assimilation. Before me were grand hotels in various states of decay along with mere hints of the once prosperous Jewish guests who vacationed in them. What remains of both are truly only ruins.

Yet she interprets the photos differently.

“I don’t really look at it as a story of assimilation,” she tells me. “I see it as the universal story of Americans. It’s an epidemic where we Americans have, use, and then abandon. Americans continuously take in and expel—like Detroit, a city that was prosperous and gave us a car industry and was then mismanaged and failed. I really look at it as a cautionary tale for the 21st century.”

She is not, though, entirely dismissive of my interpretation. “I can appreciate your perspective, and yes, many Jews have assimilated. But as a Jew whose own family has assimilated, the feeling of being Jewish and how proud I am to be Jewish, regardless of the level of my observance, is still embedded in my heart and soul.”

Coffee Shop, Grossinger’s Catskill Resort and Hotel, Liberty, NY

The Persian Room, The Pines Hotel, South Fallsburg, NY

170 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

171

So her own strong Jewish identity prevents her from seeing it as the story of the disappearing secular Jew? “True, as time has gone by, many Jews have assimilated. My own family was Orthodox two generations ago and I consider myself a secular Jew. But adjectives aside, I am a Jew. You could look at it like that if you wish. But I don’t necessarily take that viewpoint. I look at it as a tale of America. The beauty of art is that it is open to interpretation and opinion.”

So it’s not even a Jewish story?

“I don’t like to say something is one or the other. To me, things are always a little of both. There’s a lot of Jewish history in the Catskills as well as world history. I like to emphasize histories, in the plural.”

Of course, there’s an undeniably and particular Jewish connection to the Borscht Belt.

“No matter the level of observance, there is someone in every Jewish family with a connection. The Borscht Belt began in the 1920s as a reaction to discrimination. The simple fact was that Jews were banned from most hotels in America. The industry was

born out of a desire for Jews to experience an American-style vacation in the country, while also holding on to the customs and observances that were sacred to them. It was also a big plus that the Catskills look a lot like the places in Europe many of the immigrants came from. Most of the hotels were kosher when they started, but of course, some were more religious than others.”

“Aren’t there basically two Jewish stories in the Catskills, the Orthodox story and the non-Orthodox story?” I insist.

“I think the contemporary phenomenon of Orthodox Jews in the Catskills is different from the one that previously existed. Today, Orthodox Jews make up a large percentage of the county’s (Sullivan County’s) summertime visitors. My family and I embrace the businesses that have sprung up—everything from the bakeries to the falafel places. Other locals don’t have the same attitude, but the Orthodox Jews flocking to the region each summer certainly provide commerce that the area wouldn’t have otherwise. You still have Jews who aren’t Orthodox vacationing in the Catskills, but a lot of the old

172 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

(above) Guest Room, Jennie G. Building, Grossinger’s Catskill Resort and Hotel; (below, right) Hallway, Jennie G. Building

Borscht Belt hotels and bungalow colonies have been bought by Orthodox Jews, so in a sense the area has been revived in a completely new way. I wish there was a way to forge more connections between the locals and the summer Orthodox crowd. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen, but I understand the boundaries of each group. I know people in both circles and find myself mingling between them.”

Why does she think that the era of the Borscht Belt’s magnificent hotels ultimately came to an end?

“There were many reasons why the Borscht Belt failed. Some people just didn’t want to go to a Jewish hotel. They wanted to go to Europe or Atlantic City or Las Vegas. Others attribute it to the growth of the airline industry. Some say it was because women took a more active role in the work force. You could also say that everything in

the world has its season.”

“Are you a professional photographer?” I ask.

“Yes. I’ve been taking pictures since I was 15. In high school I learned all about film and how to develop photographs in a darkroom. That’s when I got hooked. I have both a Bachelor of Fine Arts [degree] and a Master of Fine Arts [degree] in photography.”

“Which period of art history interests you the most?” I inquire.

“I suppose my favorite would be the period of the 1800s, when photography was first invented. I’m fascinated by how its discovery changed the world. Photography allowed people to see beyond their own living rooms and towns and gave them a glimpse of different customs, traditions and lifestyles around the world. Photography allowed for an exploration of the world for those who couldn’t actually travel; that’s how the term ‘armchair travel’ was coined.”

“Which part of the world were you born in?”

“I was born in Brooklyn. My parents

Wh en I vi ewed Marisa Sch einfeld’s magni ficent p hoto grap hs of th e ruins of th e Borscht B elt, th ey sym bo lized for me th e story of th e d isappearing J ew in America through assi m i lati on. lived in Flatbush, but shortly afterwards we moved to the Bronx. My parents both grew up in Brooklyn, my father on Ocean Parkway and Avenue J, and my mother in Sheepshead Bay. My father’s father is from Poland. My grandparents, Ruth and Jack, actually met in the Catskills. After my grandparents got married they used to go up to the Catskills all the time, and when

my father and his sister were born, they also came along. The Catskills were a big part of our family life, way before me. My whole family is embedded in its hills.”

“Where did you grow up?”

“We lived in the Bronx until I was six, when my dad finished medical school. He had been going to the Albert Einstein College of Medicine and was now looking for a job.

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

173

He didn’t want to raise a family in the city and was offered a position in the Catskills.

So that’s how we ended up [living] up there.

“Some of my earliest Catskill memories are of going to these Borscht Belt hotels with my grandparents, especially Kutsher’s and the Concord, because we lived right in the middle between both hotels. I remember playing bingo and cards and going for the Jewish holidays and going to the café and the pool. These hotels were immense compounds, and I could run around and be free. I wasn’t really conscious that they were no longer in their heyday, but from the stories I overheard I knew they must have been really great. These stories were unavoidable, whether from family members, friends or locals. They always talked about how busy the hotels were with the shows and entertainment. And the food, of course.

“One summer when I was in high school, I worked as a lifeguard at the Concord.

That was the last year before it closed. Then I went away to college and didn’t think of the region much except as my hometown.

I knew it was experiencing many difficulties, especially economically speaking, but it was a cherished place I loved and still love to return to. The Borscht Belt really began

to deteriorate when I was a teenager. The entire economy of the country (the Catskills region) was built around the hotel industry, and when they closed the whole county took a downturn. And along with the hotel industry, a sense of pride in the area was also lost.

“Do you live in New York now?”

“On the Upper West Side.”

“When did you become interested in the Borscht Belt from a photographic perspective?”

“I knew that the region had a great history, this notorious Jewish-American, post-WWII era that had thrived and was internationally famous, even though I’d only seen a tiny glimpse of it in its dying days. I realized that people were slowly forgetting about it. The people who had worked and vacationed there were growing old, and the structures were falling apart and decaying and becoming eyesores in the community.

I starting making trips back home during my school breaks to do research, read books and drive around a lot. I tried to get my hands on any old photos and information about the Borscht Belt as I could. There was a treasure trove of stuff. The Borscht Belt was a cherished part of Americana, written

174 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

Ice Skating Rink, Pines Hotel, South Fallsburg, NY

about countless times in literature and personal memoirs. There were many archival images and postcards, but as far as I knew there had never been a comprehensive fine art photographic documentation of the region. So I began to do something known as re-photography. Re-photography is the process of ‘now and then’ photography: the act of taking an old picture or postcard and remaking it under the conditions that exist today, from the same vantage point and position as the photographer who took it long ago. It is a very precise method and takes a lot of time.”

“Can you give me an example of re-photography of a hotel?”

“Okay. I had a postcard of what was once the indoor pool at a hotel called the Laurels in Sackett Lake. The hotel burned down in the 1990s. I went up there and shot a picture of the same pool, but today it’s outdoors. This immediately became a metaphor for the passage of time. It turned on a light bulb in my head. What happens to things over time, to places and people? How do they change, evolve and move forward?

8,995

Wishing all our customers a ‫ גמר חתימה טובה‬and a ‫!שמחת יום טוב‬ 5231 New Utrecht AveNUe • BrooklyN, New york 11219 • 718.686.7421

A Reputation Built on Style, Quality & Service

Management-Brokerage-Renovations

Do you have property interests in Israel?

Are you looking to purchase property for residential or investment purposes?

JS Property Service provides an outstanding property management and brokerage service for discerning clients around the world. Jonathan Shooter draws on much expertise and many years of experience dealing with all aspects of real estate in Israel including management, sales and purchasing, short/long term rentals and renovations.

ebergdesign@gmail.com

ISRAEL 054 4513847

USA +1 914 2943873

js@jspropertyservice.com

Jerusalem-Ramat Beit Shemesh

Property Talk Israel

Visit www.jspropertyservice.com and SIGN UP for a weekly newsletter containing all you need to know about buying, selling, investing in andmaintaining property in Israel.

www.jspropertyservice.com Expertise-Experience-Efficiency

Calligraphix 718.438.1334

New!

allah t$ K & ga n Chosso ages startin Pack

the g n i c u d Intro

‫ ב ה‬

lock… b e h t n kids o

7

Stories so genuine!

Characters so authentic!

Struggles so true!

Feldheim

T L  Q

Once again, awardwinning author Chaim Walder explores the inner and outer world of kids – growing up – expressing their own joys and fears, hopes and dreams, challenges and concerns, in true stories filled with humor, insight, and sudden surprises. Join the young heroes and heroines of Kids Speak 7 and discover again why Chaim Walder’s books are such favorites among readers of all ages!

Available at Jewish bookstores or at:

feldheim.com 1-800-237-7149

MONSEY: 455 Rt. 306, Wesley Hills Plaza

S U KKO S H I S T O RY

-

H A L A C H A H

A SPECIAL SECTION

B A R K O C H B A ’ S E S R O G Ancient Judean coins shed light on this fascinating era in our history

By Rabbi Leibel Reznick

h i s t o ry

Fig. 1

T

he epoch of Bar Kochba is shrouded in mystery. Nothing is known about his youth or his family. Even his true name wasn’t known until March 1960—Shimon ben Kosiba. It was Rabbi Akiva who first called him Bar Kochba, the son of a star, based on the verse “A star shall arise from Yaakov” (Bamidbar 24:17). Ramban understands this to refer to Moshiach and Rabbi Akiva believed Shimon to be the Messianic king. Rabbi Akiva was not alone in his conviction; the majority of the Sages of Israel agreed with him.1 However, there was a dissenting point of view, as espoused by Rabbi Yochanan ben Torta who said, “Akiva, grass will sooner grow on your face before the Moshiach comes.” Rabbi Yochanan ben Torta mockingly referred to Bar Kochba as Bar Koziba, the son of deceit.2 How did Bar Kochba achieve such controversial prominence? Since there were no Jewish or Roman historians of note alive at that time to record the unfolding events, we don’t know for certain. How long did the Bar Kochba rebellion last? According to modern-day secular scholars, the revolt lasted a few short years. According to Rabbi Menachem Meiri,3 Shimon ben Kosiba founded a dynasty of three kings—himself, his son and his grandson—that spanned 21 years.4 There is a consensus of opinion, however, that that rebellion tragically ended in the city of Betar around 133 or 135 CE. (Fig. 1) The Roman historian, Dio Cassius, who Fig. 3

Fig. 2

was born three decades after the era of Bar Kochba, wrote, “The [Bar Kochba] war was of no slight importance nor of brief duration.”

Dio Cassius is telling us that the revolt was quite significant in the eyes of the Romans and lasted many years. Elsewhere, Dio Cassius wrote, “All Judea had been stirred up. [Jews from] many other nations joined them… The whole earth, one might say, was stirred up in the matter.” In other words, the Bar Kochba rebellion was not some minor annoyance to the Romans; it was more akin to a world war.

Jews flocked from all corners of the Roman Empire to stand under the banner of Bar Kochba. Indeed, 400,000 inspired Jews answered the call. They left their homes and possessions to learn the ways of war. About 200,000 men were put to the test of courage that required biting off the finger tip.

The Sages objected to the self-mutilation and suggested a test of uprooting a sapling while riding at full gallop. Another 200,000 passed this test.5 During the early years of the rebellion, the Romans were in firm control of the cities in Judea. Such had been the case since the destruction of the Temple in 70 CE. Bar Kochba and his multitude of troops had to hide in wilderness caves and in underground villages. These underground villages were carved into solid rock and contained great cisterns to capture and hold the winter rains.

There were storerooms and underground olive presses to make fuel for the oil lamps that lit the dark chambers and hallways.

There were subterranean dovecotes that supFig. 4

plied eggs and fowl to eat. There were large rooms for assembly and, of course, living quarters for families and troops. Some underground instillations were occupied by a few families. Some were occupied by hundreds of the Bar Kochba rebels. The first underground instillation was found in 1978 and within ten years more than 300 such subterranean outposts were found. Dio Cassius indicates that there were nearly 1,000 underground habitats. (Figs. 2 & 3) As the war progressed, Bar Kochba added fortresses to his desert empire. Fortress after fortress was built until he had 50 fortresses under his command. The largest fortress, and the capital of his desert kingdom, was Herodium. The Herodium fortress, which is located seven miles south of Jerusalem, was first built by the Judean tyrant Herod the Great around 23 BCE. It is a man-made mountain, 330 feet high. From afar it resembles a volcano whose crater is 200 feet across.

Surrounding the crater was a 90-foot-high wall with four great guard towers facing the four directions of the compass. Herodium had luxurious banquet halls and Roman-style bathhouses. Bar Kochba had one of the banquet halls converted into a synagogue and study hall. The rebels added an underground complex of rooms whose main hallway was over a thousand feet in length! (Fig. 4) At the base of the “volcano” was an artificial lake surrounded by a colonnade. In the center of the 230-foot-long lake was a small island with a pavilion. The eastern and western sides of the lake were flanked with great

Fig. 5

halls. Not far from the lake was another complex of buildings, bathhouses and a mikvah.

This was the regal splendor and strength that served as Bar Kochba’s main fortress.

Herodium certainly befitted the Messianic king and his thousands of troops.

By 135 CE the Bar Kochba rebellion had been put down by the Roman Emperor Hadrian. This was no cause for celebration in Rome. Bar Kochba’s revolt had taken the Roman Army longer to subdue than any other country. Tens of thousands of Roman soldiers were killed and as the centuries passed, these unrecorded and uncelebrated events faded from historical memory.

In early 1960, a group of Israeli archaeologists, led by the noted Israeli archaeologist, Yigael Yadin, were trying to rediscover the hidden story of Bar Kochba. They were exploring several caves in the Judean desert in the area of Nahal Heber, a few miles from Fig. 6 (front)

Herodium. The desert is dotted with tens of thousands of caves and the archaeologists knew that many of Bar Kochba’s faithful had taken to these caves to escape the Romans.

Families lived and died in these caves leaving behind some of their possessions and skeletal remains. Yadin found pots and pans, fragments of clothing and mirrors and keys to forsaken locks. In one of the caves, a most amazing find was discovered: a packet of 15 letters dictated (or perhaps even written) by Bar Kochba himself!

Almost all of the letters were of a military nature, sent to encourage or admonish neighboring garrisons. Some of the letters were written in Hebrew, others in Aramaic. Some of the letters are written in proto-Hebraic script, different from the script to which we are accustomed. The literary style is blunt and to the point. There is no hint of the author’s personality. All of the letters read like tele-

grams, all except one. Yadin called it his most interesting find, the arba’ah minim letter, the four species letter. It reads: [From] Shimon [Bar Kochba]6 to Yehudah son of Menashe in Kiryat Arbiya, I am sending two donkeys to you. Send them with two people to Yonassan bar Ba’aya and Masabala, (commanders of the forces in Ein Gedi). Let your two men load [the donkeys] with lulavim and esrogim and bring them back to your camp. You [should also] send others [out] to bring back to you hadassim and aravos. Set aside the ma’aser (tithe from the esrogim) and send everything back to [my] camp because my army [here] is numerous. Be well. (Fig. 5) During the throes of war, Bar Kochba made certain that his soldiers were well supplied with the arba’ah minim so desperately needed for the upcoming holiday of Sukkos. It is interesting to note that Bar Kochba requested that Yehudah son of Menachem personally set aside the tithe. Bar Kochba did not rely on the farmers of Ein Gedi nor on the commanders of Ein Gedi to have set aside the tithe. It is also known from the other Bar Kochba letters that the commanders of Ein Gedi were not very reliable men and even more so their troops. Therefore, Bar Kochba was hesitant to rely on them to have set aside the proper tithe.

Fig. 6 (back)

Fig. 7

Fig. 8

Fig. 9

Produce grown by men of questionable halachic knowledge is called demai. There is an entire tractate of Mishnayos dedicated to the subject. The rule is that we assume that the tithe was not set aside and one who acquires demai must set aside the tithe himself.

In the Talmud there is a debate between Beis Shammai and Beis Hillel if a demai esrog can be used for the mitzvah. Beis Hillel is lenient and the halachah, as usual, follows their opinion.

The question to be asked is why didn’t Bar Kochba rely on the opinion of Beis Hillel and use the demai esrogim. Why did he instruct Yehudah to unnecessarily set aside the tithe?

There is a tradition said in the name of the sainted Arizal that in the days of Moshiach the halachah will be in accordance with Beis Shammai. Since Rabbi Akiva and most of the Sages of Israel recognized Bar Kochba as the Messianic king, Bar Kochba had no choice but to be stringent and follow the opinion of Beis Shammai with regard to using demai esrogim for the mitzvah.

Some of the more noted archaeological finds of the Bar Kochba era are the coins that were minted under his rule. Although they were issued under severe economic and military stress, they are the most beautiful of ancient Judean coins and are found all over Israel. In recent years several Bar Kochba coins were discovered on Har HaBayis (the Temple Mount).

One of these coveted coins has the image of the Beis Hamikdash prominently displayed.

There is a crude star above the Temple building, representing Bar Kochba—son of a star.

However, it is the other side of the coin that will concern us. It depicts the arba’ah minim, the assembled lulav and the esrog. (Fig. 6) Let’s examine the lulav first. There are two aravos, one on the left side of the lulav, the other on the right side. This follows the minhag of the Ari. Our custom is to have both aravos on the left side. On the coin, the aravos

are higher than the hadassim. Our practice is to follow the opinion of the Rama7 and place the hadassim higher than the aravos. On the coin, there are a multitude of hadassim surrounding the lulav. Our practice is to use only three hadassim and place them on the right side of the lulav. There seem to be three rings or bands holding the hadassim in place. Our custom is to have three rings placed above the hadassim and aravos.

Now we come to the esrog. We can readily see that the esrog looks as if it was squeezed in the middle. Actually, esrogim can grow that way. It is commonly called a “gartel” esrog, gartel meaning a belt in Yiddish. Some Jews prefer this type of esrog. In halachah, the most important part of the esrog is the upper slope.

It must be absolutely free of blemishes. The gartel esrog has two slopes: the top slope and the gartel slope. According to some opinions,8 both of these slopes must be free of blemishes.

Accordingly, a greater percentage of the gartel esrog must be perfect than a regular esrog that has only one slope on top. It is because of that degree of perfection that gartel esrogim are sought after9. (Fig. 7) Another type of Bar Kochba coin depicts a pitcher and a branch. Perhaps the pitcher represents the drawing and spilling of the water that was performed during the festival of Sukkos in the Beis Hamikdash. The ceremony was celebrated with great joy and as our Sages have said, “He who has not seen the rejoicing of the Water Drawing ceremony has never seen rejoicing in his life.”10 (Fig. 8) What about the branch that is to the right of the pitcher? It seems to be a lulav without the hadassim and aravos. What is its significance? On Hoshana Rabbah we take branches of a willow tree (aravos) and beat them on the ground several times. There is a difference of opinion among the Sages11 if in the Temple they beat willow branches or if it was

a lulav. Perhaps Bar Kochba maintained that a lulav should be used, and therefore a lulav is depicted to the right of the pitcher used for the Water Drawing ceremony.

Another Bar Kochba coin depicts two trumpets surrounded with the inscription “Year Two of the Freedom of Israel.” These trumpets also relate to the festival of Sukkos. The Mishnah12 tells us that the Water Drawing ceremony began at daybreak with two kohanim, each one holding a trumpet. As they solemnly walked across the Courtyard of the Women, they blew the trumpets over and over again, sounding much like the shofar blown on Rosh Hashanah. The trumpets heralded the day’s ceremonies and festivities. (Fig. 9) At the conclusion of the Pesach seder, we shout out “Next year in Jerusalem!” The Satmarer Rebbe asked13 why next year? Why not this year? He answered that when Bar Kochba, the potential Moshiach, gained success, that very first day, the calendar years started all over again. His coins proclaim Year One of the Freedom of Israel, Year Two, etc. If Moshiach were to come today, it would begin a new calendar year. It would not be 5774; it would be Year One of the Freedom of Israel! May we merit seeing that new year this Sukkos, the holiday that held great promise for Bar Kochba.

1. Rambam, Melachim 11:3 2. Yerushalmi Taanis 4:5 3. See Meiri’s introduction to Avos, also quoted in Seder HaDoros.

4. See The Mystery of Bar Kochba, Leibel Reznick, published by Jason Aronson, p. 85.

5. Yerushalmi Taanis 4:5 and Korban HaEidah ibid.

6. We know that this Shimon was Shimon Bar Kochba. In another one of the letters, he uses his full title—Shimon b. Kosiba, Prince (nasi) of Israel.

We know from several other letters and coin insciptions that Bar Kochba never referred to himself as “king” or “Moshiach.”

7. Shulchan Aruch, Orach Chayim 651:1 8. See Arba’as Haminim, Rabbi E. Weissfish, p.174 9. Coins minted during the First Revolt, which culminated in the destruction of the Beis HaMikdash, also depict the lulav and esrog. That esrog is not a gartel esrog. The details of the lulav are similar to the Bar Kochba lulav; however, the number and placement of the aravos cannot be seen clearly.

10. Sukkah 51a 11. See Sukkah 45a and Tosafos 45b “Achas.”

12. See Sukkah 51b.

13. Divrei Yoel Hagaddah

PRinceSS DAmASk TAbleclOTh 70" x 108" 70" x 120" 70" x 132" 70" x 144" 70" x 160" 70" x 180" 70" x 198"

New!

Order Online and in-StOre pickup

•

starting at

2499

$

BOrO park 4518 13th Ave. 718.854.2595 cedarhurSt 134 Washington Ave. 516.218.2211 lakewOOd tOdd plaza 1091 River Ave (Route 9) 732.364.8822

Upscale. On Sale.

www. thecloseoutconnection.com

T O

S I T

O R N O T

T O

S I T

Must one sit in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres?

By Rabbi Yehuda Spitz

H A L A C H A H

A

s the sun sets on Hoshana Rabbah, effectively ending the holiday of Sukkos, an annual machlokes dawns. As with much related to the yamim tovim, different minhagim come to the forefront this time of year. Not just the Sukkos-long variances as to the proper method of naanuim with the lulav and esrog, nor the correct order of the ushpizin. Rather, this author is referring to sitting in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres. Is it an obligation or recommendation?

Prohibited or permitted? Why do some go to great lengths to make sure to eat or even sleep in the sukkah on this day, while others will make due with a simple Kiddush or even less? This article sets out to address this annual Sukkos “battle.”

Sukkah Source The Torah states in Parshas Emor 1 that “the eighth day,” the day following the weeklong holiday of Sukkos, is a holiday as well, and also “an atzeres,” generally translated as an “assembly” or a day of “stopping” work. Rashi2 famously elucidates this interesting turn of phrase with the comment, “atzarti eschem etzli,” that after a week of festivities, Hashem wishes to remain an extra day together with us, His children—reminiscent of a king who would do the same before taking leave of his children—to show how difficult it is to part from them.

This also means that this “extra” day, colloquially known as Shmini Atzeres, is technically not part of Sukkos. Accordingly, on this day there is no Biblical obligation to do any of the mitzvos exclusive to Sukkos: not shaking the lulav nor eating in the sukkah.

If so, why would anyone have a minhag to eat in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres? It is an entirely separate Yom Tov!

Historical Halachah To properly understand this, knowledge of facts from several millennia of Jewish history is necessary. As long as the Sanhedrin in Eretz Yisrael established the New Month (Rosh Chodesh) based on eyewitnesses, far away places where Jews resided, that did not receive messengers in time to tell them when the Rosh Chodesh was declared, would keep two days of Yom Tov instead of one. This was due to the uncertainty of which day Rosh Chodesh truly was and consequently when the yamim tovim actually fell out. This was done in order to ensure that no one should unwittingly transgress any

Biblical prohibitions3. Later, when much calendar confusion reigned due to the subversive efforts of the Kusim, Chazal decreed that in chutz la’aretz (the Diaspora), “yom tov sheini,” or a two-day Yom Tov, instead of the Biblically mandated one day, must be observed4.

The Gemara itself (Beitzah 4b) actually asks the most common question regarding yom tov sheini: “But now that we have a set calendar and we know in advance when Rosh Chodesh will be, why must we still observe a ‘two-day Yom Tov’?” The Gemara answers that in the times of Rabbi Elazar ben Pedas a message was sent from the rabbanim of Eretz Yisrael to the Diaspora: “Hizaharu b’minhag avoseichem Bi’Yedeichem—You should still be vigilant with the custom of your forefathers that has been handed down to you (meaning that they must still keep “yom tov sheini”) because there might be times when the local government will issue a decree and it will cause confu-

nAPleS TAbleclOTh 66" x 72" 66" x 90" 66" x 108" 66" x 126" 66" x 144" 66" x 160"

New!

Order Online and in-StOre pickup

•

starting at

3999

$

BOrO park 4518 13th Ave. 718.854.2595 cedarhurSt 134 Washington Ave. 516.218.2211 lakewOOd tOdd plaza 1091 River Ave (Route 9) 732.364.8822

Upscale. On Sale.

www. thecloseoutconnection.com

sion.” Chazal were extremely strict with this takanah and even put someone in cheirem (excommunication) for violating this decree (see Gemara Pesachim 52a).

The outcome of this has long since become a famous dichotomy: In Eretz Yisrael, where there never was a safeik yom or “day in doubt,” since messengers would always be able to reach every community throughout Eretz Yisrael in time for Yom Tov, only one day of Yom Tov is celebrated, exactly as it is written in the Torah, while in chutz la’aretz each day of Yom Tov has long since become a “two-day Yom Tov.” However, it is important to note that this din of yom tov sheini only applies to the Shalosh Regalim: Pesach, Shavuos5 and Sukkos. Other yamim tovim do not share this distinction due to various reasons. In fact, and although debated by the Rishonim,6 nowadays everyone must observe two days of Rosh Hashanah,7 even in Yerushalayim,8 while all other holidays, including Yom Kippur,9 Purim10 and Chanukah,11 are observed worldwide as just one day.

Separate But Equal With this background in mind, let us return to our humble sukkah. In Eretz Yisrael there are no aspects of Sukkos manifested on the separate and distinct holiday of Shmini Atzeres. In fact, it is simply celebrated as Simchas Torah.

Yet, this also compounds our original dilemma for everyone in chutz la’aretz. Since yamim tovim are celebrated as two days, what should be done on Shmini Atzeres in chutz la’aretz? Is it treated as part and parcel of the preceding holiday of Sukkos, or does it maintain its exclusive status as a separate

that we also do not wave the arba’ah minim on Shmini Atzeres,13 the reason being that if Shmini Atzeres truly was a separate holiday, then waving the arba’ah minim would not only be deemed unnecessary—they would be considered muktzah. Therefore, Chazal would not rule that we be required to do something that would potentially be a safeik mitzvah/ safeik aveirah, and especially not to make a brachah on it! Tosafos14 adds that since a lulav would be muktzah on Shmini Atzeres since it is a separate Yom Tov, waving it would clearly demonstrate that one is treating Shmini Atzeres like Chol Hamoed, whereas, in regard to eating in a sukkah, the act is not so noticeable because many people enjoy eating in a sukkah. Therefore, although waving the arba’ah minim is out of the question on Shmini Atzeres, on the other hand, eating in the sukkah would not be considered tarti

holiday? The upshot of this question would be whether one must still perform the mitzvos of Sukkos on Shmini Atzeres or not.

Not a recent issue, the Gemara in Maseches Sukkah (46b-47a) actually deals with this very subject: How Shmini Atzeres is viewed in halachah. After extensive debate, the Gemara famously concludes l’halachah that on Shmini Atzeres, “meisiv yasvinan, bruchi lo mevorchinan.” In other words, we must eat in the sukkah, but we don’t make the regularly mandated brachah of “leisheiv ba’sukkah.” The Rosh12 explains that since Sukkos and Shmini Atzeres are separate and different holidays and have different sets of mitzvos, we cannot perform all of their mitzvos, as it would be “tarti d’sasri,” an outright contradiction. Rather, we only do what we can l’chumra, meaning eating in the sukkah but not making the blessing.

Another interesting result of this ruling is

DAmASk fRinge TAbleclOThS

BOrO park 4518 13th Ave. 718.854.2595 cedarhurSt 134 Washington Ave. 516.218.2211

52" x 70" 60" x 84" 60" x 102" 60" x 120" 60" x 140" 60" x 180"

New!

Order Online and in-StOre pickup

•

starting at

1499

$

lakewOOd tOdd plaza 1091 River Ave (Route 9) 732.364.8822

Upscale. On Sale.

www. thecloseoutconnection.com

R e m ar k a b ly, cont e m p orary h a lach i c deci s ors are d i v i de d as to th e pro per h a lac h a h, w i th no cl e ar-cu t ru ling. d’sasri, and thus is mandated.

This dual ruling is duly codified as halachah by the Rambam, Sefer HaChinuch, Tur and Shulchan Aruch,15 that although we do not make the brachah of “leisheiv ba‘sukkah,” nevertheless, we are still required to eat in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres.

Minhag Mysteries Yet something seems to be lacking in the application of this halachah. For if this is the proper conclusion, why are there divergent customs? And there most definitely are divergent customs here! There are those who sleep in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres; those who don’t even set foot in the sukkah; those who only make Kiddush in the sukkah but eat the majority of their meals inside; and those who only eat in the sukkah but don’t sleep there.16 Which is correct?

To Sleep or Not to Sleep?

It is well known that the Vilna Gaon17 was very makpid not only to eat but also to sleep in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres. The Chayei Adam relates that the Gra once made the whole yeshivah sleep in the sukkah on a freezing Shmini Atzeres night, just to show the rest of the city the importance of following this halachah. Several authorities18 rule like the Gra, saying that one must sleep in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres, maintaining that there should not be a halachic difference between eating and sleeping in the sukkah.

However, most authorities do not agree with this reasoning and maintain that although one must eat in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres, nevertheless, one does not (and some say should not) sleep in the sukkah.19 The Chasam Sofer famously did not sleep in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres.20 This is also the conclusion of the Mishnah Berurah,21 which states that the “minhag ha’olam” is not to sleep in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres. However, the Kitzur Shulchan Aruch, which also acknowledges that the minhag ha’olam is not to sleep in the sukkah, nevertheless concludes that it is still proper to do so anyway.

Surprisingly, and although not the common practice, it is known that the gadol hador, Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, was extremely makpid on sleeping in the sukkah, even when it was freezing outside and even on Shmini Atzeres. He explained that his father, Rav Dovid, zt”l, was particularly vigilant with sleeping in the sukkah and in what was to be the last year of his life, caught pneumonia from doing so one freezing Shmini Atzeres and passed away six days later. Rav Moshe related that he learned from this tragedy the lengths of mesiras nefesh required of himself to sleep in a sukkah, and even on Shmini Atzeres.22

Not to Eat? However, on the opposite end of the halachic spectrum, there were many great authorities who ardently defended those who follow a minhag of not even eating in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres. These include the Sfas Emes, the Aruch Hashulchan, the Kozeglover Gaon and the Minchas Elazar.23 Rav Tzadok Hakohen of Lublin wrote a halachic sefer over 60 pages long, titled Meishiv Tzedek, defending the practice of not eating in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres. Even the Chayei Adam and the Maharsham in his Daas Torah (although not ruling that way), cite minhagim to eat only partially in the sukkah, such as simply making Kiddush in the sukkah, but having the bulk of the seudah inside.24 Many of these authorities base their heter on the Korban Nesanel,25 who writes that since eating in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres is only mandated due to a safeik, therefore, in places where it is cold and windy, one is not required to do so. Others understand that the Gemara’s conclusion of “meisiv yasvinan, bruchi lo mevorchinan” meant that one may eat in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres without the brachah of “leisheiv ba’sukkah,” but not that one is actually obligated to do so. Interestingly, many centuries prior the Midrash Tanchuma implied that one does not have to eat in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres, but for a very different reason: “In order that one

190 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

should be able to (properly) daven for rain with a ‘lev shalem.’” Since Tefillas Geshem (or is it Gashem?)26 is recited on Shmini Atzeres, if one’s tefillos would be answered right away, he would be rained out of his sukkah!

Either way, different minhagim of not exclusively eating in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres have earned a staunch following, even though they run contrary to the normative halachah.

Israel Issues This author realizes that at this point, readers in Israel are probably saying that this is all very nice, but it doesn’t affect them; they only keep one day, Simchas Torah! No safeik yom here! But actually it just might concern them. For what is a “chutznik,” or two-day Yom Tov keeper who happens to be in Israel for Sukkos (quite commonly, yeshivah bachurim), to do?

Although the famed Chacham Tzvi, and later the Shulchan Aruch Harav, ruled that even one merely visiting Eretz Yisrael over Yom Tov should keep only one day of Yom Tov like the natives (to paraphrase: “when in Israel do as the Israelis do”),27 nevertheless, the vast majority of halachic authorities, including the Shulchan Aruch himself and even the Chacham Tzvi’s own son, Rav Yaakov Emden, maintained that visitor status is dependent on whether or not their intention is to stay and live in Eretz Yisrael, known as “im da’atam lachzor.”28 If they are planning to live in Eretz Yisrael, they should keep only one day of Yom Tov. If they are planning to return to chutz la’Aretz, they must still observe a two-day Yom Tov, even though they are currently in Eretz Yisrael.29 Back to our bachurim: Since these striving students are generally only based in Eretz Yisrael temporarily, according to the majority halachic consensus they must still keep the second day of Yom Tov in Israel as well.

However, this leads us to another issue, one not mentioned in halachic literature until modern times: Must these visitors, who are keeping yom tov sheini in Eretz Yisrael, still sit in a sukkah on Shmini Atzeres, or may

they do as the Romans…er, Israelis do?

Remarkably, contemporary halachic decisors are divided as to the proper halachah, with no clear-cut ruling. Rav Yechiel Michel Tukachinsky, zt”l, Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt”l, the Minchas Yitzchak, zt”l and the Shemiras Shabbos Kehilchasah, zt”l,30 rule that a chutznik should not eat in a sukkah in Israel on Shmini Atzeres. They explain that one should not be stringent on a safeik yom that does not apply where they currently are, especially as the whole rule of keeping two days in Eretz Yisrael is a matter of dispute.

Additionally, sitting in a sukkah publicly, when the locals do not, might be of halachic concern.

On the other hand, other contemporary authorities, including Rav Moshe Feinstein, zt”l, Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, zt”l, Rav Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg, zt”l, Rav Shmuel HaLevi Wosner, shlita and the Debreciner Rav, zt”l,31 rule that someone who always keeps yom tov sheini must continue to keep it to its full extent—even in Eretz Yisrael.

This includes sitting in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres, even though the locals do not.

A third opinion, a middle-ground approach, is that of Rav Ben Tzion Abba Shaul, zt”l, the Betzeil Hachochmah, zt”l, and Rav Ovadia Yosef, shlita.32 They agree that a chutznik should preferably eat in a sukkah on Shmini Atzeres in Eretz Yisrael. However, these authorities make an exception for a “visitor” who is dependent on locals for his meals, as they aver that a guest is not obligated to cause undue hardship for his hosts.

Following this ruling would mean that an American bachur eating with Yerushalmi relatives who are having their Yom Tov seudah inside, may indeed eat with them in their

home, and is not obligated to trek out to find a sukkah. As with any other halachic question, one should ask his own rabbinic authority whose opinion he should personally follow.

An interesting and important outcome of this three-way Israeli machlokes is that it sheds some light on how many contemporary halachic decisors ruled regarding several other issues mentioned previously in this article. For although they disagree on what an American bachur should do while in Eretz Yisrael for Shmini Atzeres, nevertheless, their disparate positions clearly show that all of the above-mentioned contemporary authorities agree that in chutz la’aretz one must eat in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres; that visitors to Eretz Yisrael are dependent on whether da’atam lachzor or not; and if one meets that requirement he must keep yom tov sheini there.

In Parshas Re’ei, Moshe Rabbeinu tells us that “Banim attem la’Hashem Elokeichem”33— Hashem considers us His children. Which

Yom Tov can possibly lay claim to exemplify this notion more than Shmini Atzeres, a day that Hashem kiveyachol personally requests to stay with us? Whatever one’s minhag is on this “extra” day, we should all merit feeling the embrace and protection of HaKadosh Baruch Hu all Yom Tov long!

This article was written l’iluy nishmas the Rosh Hayeshiva, Rav Chonoh Menachem Mendel ben R’ Yechezkel Shraga, and lizchus for Shira Yaffa bas Rochel Miriam v’chol chalatzeha for a yeshuah teikif umiyad!

For any questions, comments or for the full Mareh Mekomos / sources, please email the author: yspitz@ohr.edu.

Rabbi Yehuda Spitz serves as the Shoel Umeishiv and Rosh Chabura of the Ohr Lagolah Halacha Kollel at Yeshivas Ohr Somayach in Yerushalayim. He also currently writes a contemporary halachah column for the Ohr Somayach website, titled “Insights Into Halacha.” http://ohr. edu/this_week/insights_into_halacha/.

chAllAh knife

BOrO park 4518 13th Ave. 718.854.2595 cedarhurSt 134 Washington Ave. 516.218.2211

999

$

compare at $24.99

New!

Order Online and in-StOre pickup

•

lakewOOd tOdd plaza 1091 River Ave (Route 9) 732.364.8822

Upscale. On Sale.

www. thecloseoutconnection.com

1. Vayikra Ch. 23 verse 36.

2. Rashi (ad loc. s.v. atzeres hi). This is also cited by the Sefer HaChinuch (Parshas Emor, mitzvah 323, 1 s.v. kvar & 324, 1 s.v. v’taam), quoting the Midrash. The Machon Yerushalayim edition of the Minchas Chinuch (ad loc. in the footnotes) identifies it as Midrash Rabbah (Bamidbar ch. 21, 24), Midrash HaGadol (Shemos ch. 29, 36), and Pesikta d’Rav Kahana (30).

3. See Rambam, Hilchos Kiddush Hachodesh (ch. 3, 11 & ch. 5, 4).

4. See Gemara Beitzah 4b and Rosh Hashanah 21a (and commentaries), Yerushalmi Rosh Hashanah (Ch. 2, Halachah 1), Shu”t HaGaonim Lik (1, which cites Rav Hai Gaon and other Geonim explaining that this takanah actually dates to the times of Yechezkel and Daniel, and possibly even Yehoshua bin Nun, [Rav Saadiah Gaon held it was Halachah l’Moshe Mi’Sinai!]; referenced in Sha’ar HaTziyun 496, 1), Rambam (Hilchos Kiddush HaChodesh Ch. 5, 6), Sefer HaChinuch (Parshas Emor, Mitzvah 301; and Minchas Chinuch ad loc.), Tur and Shulchan Aruch and main commentaries to Orach Chayim 496, Magen V’Tzina (pg. 7b), Kuzari HaSheini (Matteh Dan, pp. 83 & 241), Mahari”tz Chiyus (Darchei Hora’ah ppg. 7 - 8), Tiferes Yisrael (Mishnah Eduyos Ch. 1, Mishnah 6, 35), Rav Yisrael Moshe Chazzan’s ‘Kedushas Yom Tov’, Shu”t Yad Eliezer (131), Shu”t Shaar Asher (Orach Chayim 8), Sdei Chemed (vol. 6, Ma’areches Yom Tov 2, 8), Chazon Ish (Moed, Hilchos Yom Tov, Orach Chayim 130), Rav Yechiel Michel Tukachinsky’s Ir HaKodesh V’HaMikdash (Vol. 3, Chapters 18 & 19), and the forward to Rabbi Yerachmiel Dovid Fried’s classic sefer Yom Tov Sheini K’Hilchaso at length. See also Meshech Chochmah (Parshas Bo, Beginning of Ch. 12, s.v. uvazeh) who offers a compelling reason why yom tov sheini still applies nowadays— gezeirah shema yivneh Beis HaMikdash.

5. Rashi (ad loc. s.v. d’gazri) clarifies that this is referring to calendar confusion. He explains that the government will decree against learning Torah and the ‘sod ha’Ibur’ (the principle of the intercalation of the New Month) will be forgotten, and if they revert to keeping one day of Yom Tov, they might establish a ‘Chaseir’ month as a ‘Malei’ or vice versa, and klal Yisrael will possibly (chas v’shalom) end up eating chametz on Pesach. Although the Gemara does not specify which Amora sent this message, nor to which community in chutz la’aretz it was sent, nevertheless, the Gemara’s unique choice of phraseology “shalchu mesum,” clues us in that it denotes a message sent by Rabbi Elazar ben Pedas, as explained in Gemara Sanhedrin (17b) and Rashi’s commentary to Gemara Shabbos (19b s.v. R’ Elazar). See Ir HaKodesh V’HaMikdash (Vol. 3, Chapter 19, 1). [Interestingly, the Meiri (Beis HaBechirah on Sanhedrin ad loc.) has a different girsa in the Gemara; he quotes the expression “shalchu mesum” as indicating a missive from Rabbi Yirmiya!] This is not the only time that such a communiqué was sent from Eretz Yisrael to chutz la’aretz mandating them to keep ‘yom tov sheini’. The Yerushalmi (Eruvin Ch. 3, end Halachah 9; see also Korban HaEidah ad loc.) records that after Chazal found out about an incident in Alexandria, Rabbi Yosi (bar Zavda) sent out a message that even though there was a set calendar (‘she’kasvu lachem sidrei moados’), still, “al tishnu minhag avoseichem—Do not deviate even one iota from the custom set by your forefathers,” and observe yom tov sheini. Chazal established a yom tov sheini for Shavuos, in order not to make a distinction between the yamim tovim, even though the messengers of Tishrei and Nissan would certainly have reached even far-flung places by then. See Rambam (Hilchos Kiddush Hachodesh ch. 3, 12), Shu”t Chasam Sofer (Orach Chayim 146 and Yoreh De’ah 252), Shu”t Shoel Umeishiv (Mahadura Tinyana vol. 2, 85 s.v. v’hinei l’fan”d) and Shu”t Machazeh Avraham (Orach Chayim 121).

6. See also Chiddushei Maran Ri”z HaLevi al HaTorah (Parshas Emor); according to the Brisker Rav zt”l, the exact date of Shavuos is always already set from the beginning of Nisan, as the pasuk states regarding Shavuos (Parshas Emor Ch. 23, verse 21) that it is observed “b’etzem hayom hazeh.”

7. See Rava’s statement (Beitzah 5b) regarding the aftermath of Rav Yochanan ben Zakkai’s takanah that testimony of the New Moon was accepted all day, that when eidim would come later in the day, “min haminchah ul’maalah,” the Sanhedrin would establish both days as Yom Tov. The Rif (Beitzah 3a in his folios) is medayek from this that even bnei Eretz Yisrael are mandated to observe Rosh Hashanah as a two-day Yom Tov. However, Rabbeinu Efrayim (cited by the Ran ad loc. s.v. v’kasav) and the Baal Hamaor (Meor HaKattan ad loc. 2b s.v. v’haRif) vehemently disagree, discounting this logic, and maintaining that Rosh Hashanah was always observed as one day in Eretz Yisrael. Yet, the Ramban (Milchamos Hashem ad loc. 2b s.v v’od v’harav) and Rosh (Beitzah Ch. 1, 4) ardently defend the Rif’s conclusion and maintain that even in Eretz Yisrael, Rosh Hashanah is observed as a two-day Yom Tov. This is also the conclusion of the Rashba (Beitzah 5b; albeit for different reasons than the Rif), Rambam (Hilchos Kiddush Hachodesh ch. 5, 12 and Hilchos Yom Tov ch. 1, 1 & 24) and Sefer Hachinuch (Parshas Emor, mitzvah 301, end 2).

8. This majority opinion of the Rishonim (see last footnote) is codified as halachah in Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chayim 601:2), since even during the times of the Beis Hamikdash, Rosh Hashanah was sometimes observed as a two-day Yom Tov [see Beis Yosef (ad loc. s.v. v’kasav), Magen Avraham (ad loc. 1), Aruch Hashulchan (Orach Chayim 600, 1 & 2), and Mishnah Berurah (601, 3)]. There are practical halachic differences, though, between a standard yom tov sheini and the second day of Rosh Hashanah. Since Rosh Hashanah was established by takanah and not due to safeik yom (see next footnote), the second day shares first-day Yom Tov status (referred to as kedushah achas hein or yoma arichta) and generally does not share the yom tov sheini dispensations listed in Orach Chayim 496. See Rambam (Hilchos Yom Tov ch. 1, 24), Tur (Orach Chayim 503, 1 and 600, 1), Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chayim 513, 5 and 515, 1), Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (99, 2, in the parenthesis), Aruch Hashulchan (Orach Chayim 600; at length), and Kaf Hachayim (Orach Chayim 503, 10 and 600, 1). For more on the status and parameters of Rosh Hashanah as a two-day Yom Tov, see Minchas Chinuch (Parshas Emor, mitzvah 301, 5 s.v. chutz), Shu”t Shoel Umeishiv (Mahadura Tinyana vol. 2, 85), Chazon Ish (Moed–Orach Chayim 130 & 131), Shalom Yehudah (Vol. 1, Moed, 1), Ir HaKodesh Vehamikdash (Vol. 3, ch. 18), Kaf Hachayim (Orach Chayim 601, 5; who cites several Kabbalistic reasons) and Yom Tov Sheini Kehilchaso (Miluim 6).

9. See Rabbi Yechiel Michel Tukachinsky’s Ir HaKodesh V’HaMikdash (Vol. 3, Chapter 18, 5, ppg. 236 - 238) who deals with this issue at length. Although certainly in the city of Yerushalayim it would have been known when the Sanhedrin would have established the New Month and Year, he concludes that the two-day Yom Tov regarding Rosh Hashanah that applies universally was not due to the safeik yom, but rather was an actual takanas Sanhedrin from when the Beis HaMikdash was still standing [see also Rambam (Hilchos Kiddush HaChodesh Ch. 5, 12 and Hilchos Yom Tov Ch. 1, 24) and Sefer HaChinuch (Parshas Emor, Mitzvah 301, end 2); as mentioned previously, the Yerushalmi (end of the first perek of Eruvin) dates this takanah to the times of the Neviim Rishonim], and is therefore as binding as if it was given at Har Sinai, and even in Yerushalayim.

10. Although the Tur (Orach Chayim 624) states that “chasidim and anshei maaseh” would keep two days of Yom Kippur, nevertheless, the halachic consensus is that it is preferable not to; one of the main reasons being the sakanah involved (based on the Yerushalmi in Maseches Challah ch. 1). These poskim include the Ohr Zarua (vol. 2, 281), Beis Yosef (Orach Chayim 624), Rema (ad loc. 5), Bach (ad loc.), Magen Avraham (ad loc. end 7), Biur Hagr”a (ad loc. s.v. v’ain linhog), Chasam Sofer (Haghos ad loc.), Hisorerus Teshuvah (Shu”t vol. 1, 190), Aruch Hashulchan (Orach Chayim 624, 5), and Mishnah Berurah (ad loc. 17). They explain that nowadays the calendar is set and there really is no more safeik yom, yet the reason we are still stringent with yom tov sheini is due to minhag avoseinu and the takanah involved. However, there never was a takanah or minhag regarding keeping a two-day Yom Kippur due to the potential sakanah. Therefore there would be no reason to keep a two-day fast. The most famous contemporary example of keeping Yom Kippur for two days was during World War II, when the Mir Yeshiva, thanks to the efforts of Japanese diplomat Chiune Sugihara, managed to escape the Nazis by fleeing eastward and were “shanghaied” in Kobe, Japan (and later in Shanghai itself). This was due to the safeik yom from the International Date Line, and not the standard safeik yom referred to in this article. However, before one decides to take on such an undertaking without any other mitigating circumstance, he should realize that he would halachically be beholden to keep a two-day Yom Kippur for the rest of his life.

11. The Abudraham (Seder Tefilas Purim Upirusheha), quoting the Mishmeres Hamoados, cites three reasons why Purim is not observed as a two-day Yom Tov: 1) Purim is a rabbinic holiday and the same rabbanim who established it were the same ones who established our calendar and Purim as a one-day holiday. 2) Megillas Esther, when describing the holiday (ch. 9, verse 27) states ‘velo yaavor’, meaning whoever celebrates it on one day cannot do so on another day [the three-day Purim Meshulash that is celebrated in Yerushalayim when Shushan Purim falls out on Shabbos is not an actual three-day Yom Tov. Each separate day has unique observances of Purim. Friday’s is the Megillah reading and matanos la’evyonim. Shabbos has Al Hanisim and the special Purim maftir, and Sunday has mishloach manos and the Purim seudah]. 3) Whichever day on which one would have read the Megillah, he would already have fulfilled his obligation. Several of these reasons are echoed by the Taz (Orach Chayim 688, 4), quoting the Mordechai and Rashal, and the Minchas Chinuch (Parshas Emor, mitzvah 301, 6). See also Shu”t Dovev Meisharim (vol. 1, 15).

12. The Abudraham (Seder Tefilas Chanukah), quoting the Baal Ha’Itim, explains that the reason why Chanukah is not celebrated as a nine-day holiday is that Chanukah is a rabbinic holiday and the same rabbanim who established it were the same ones who established our calendar and Chanukah as an eight-day holiday. See also Ateres Zekeinim (Orach Chayim 670 s.v. b’ch”h b’Kislev), which cites a different reason from the Mahara Mizrachi, and Minchas Chinuch (Parshas Emor, mitzvah 301, 6). He maintains that when the Beis Hamikdash will be rebuilt and klal Yisrael reverts back to kiddush hachodesh via witnesses, it is possible that there might be a nine-day Chanukah in outlying areas.

13. Rosh (Sukkah Ch. 4, end 5).

14. Another remarkable outcome based on this ‘tarti d’sasri’ is that the vast majority of halachic decisors disagree with the Taz’s opinion (Orach Chayim 668, 1 s.v. eilu divrei), and rule that one may not be mekabel Yom Tov early on

Shmini Atzeres (unless in extremely extenuating circumstances). The reason is that even if one would be mekabel Shmini Atzeres early, it would still technically be the seventh day of Sukkos and any seudah would be required to be held in the sukkah—with a brachah of “leisheiv ba’sukkah,” which would be a potential brachah l’vatalah if it were truly no longer Sukkos. These poskim include the Rashal (Shu”t 68; who rules like Rav Tevil), Bach (Orach Chayim 668, 1), Levush (Orach Chayim 668, 1), Magen Avraham (ad loc. 3), Elyah Rabbah (ad loc. 3), Matei Moshe (970), Pri Megadim (Orach Chayim 668, Eishel Avraham 3), Chida (Birkei Yosef ad loc. 5), Chayei Adam (klal 153, 5), Chemed Moshe (cited in the Shaar Hatziyun ad loc. 11), Nahar Shalom (Orach Chayim 668, 1), Noda Bi’Yehudah (Dagul Mervavah ad loc. s.v. b’Taz), Rav Yaakov Emden (Mor Uketziah ad loc. s.v. v’ani), Bigdei Yesha (cited in the Shaar Hatziyun ad loc. 11), Minchas Chinuch (Parshas Emor, mitzvah 323, 2), Aruch Hashulchan (ad loc. 4), Ben Ish Chai (Year 1, Parshas V’zos Habrachah 13), Mishnah Berurah (Orach Chayim 668, 7 and Shaar HaTziyun 11 & 12), and Kaf Hachayim (ad loc. 10). However, many later authorities tried to find makom lismoch on the Taz’s shitah, perhaps as a tziruf, etc. See Shu”t Shoel Umeishiv (Mahadura Tinyana vol. 2, 9), Shu”t Hisorerus Teshuvah (vol. 1, 97), Shu”t Chesed L’Avraham (vol. 2, Orach Chayim 70), Shu”t Yefei Nof (Orach Chayim 121), Shu”t Yismach Lev (Orach Chayim 15), Shu”t Mishnah Sachir (vol. 2, 181,5), Shu”t Binyan Olam (Orach Chayim, 7, s.v. v’yesh), Shu”t Baer Sarim (vol. 4, 38), Shu”t Arugos Habosem (Orach Chayim 189), Shu”t Divrei Yatziv (Orach Chayim vol.

2, 226, 6-7), and Rav Leib Malin zt”l’s Ohr Simchah (ch. 15, page 27; he answers the apparent contradiction in the Taz’s shitah to that of him requiring temimus by Shavuos in Orach Chayim beg. 494 s.v. meacharin).

15. Tosafos (Sukkah 47a s.v. meisiv).

16. Rambam (Hilchos Sukkah ch. 7, 13), Sefer Hachinuch (Parshas Emor, mitzvah 323, 1), Tur and Shulchan Aruch (O.C. 668, 1).

17. See Tur (Orach Chayim 668), Beis Yosef (ad loc.), Magen Avraham (ad loc. 2), Baer Heitev (ad loc. 3), Shaarei Teshuvah (ad loc. 3), Mishnah Berurah (ad loc. 6 & Shaar Hatziyun 4-8), and Kaf HaChayim (ad loc. 5) who cite these various minhagim.

18. Maaseh Rav (222), Chayei Adam (klal 153, 5), Shaar Hatziyun (663, 4). This is also the mashma’us of the Beis Yosef (ad loc. s.v. v’ochlin), and Elyah Rabbah (ad loc. 4), although strangely absent in the Shulchan Aruch, that poskim do not make a distinction between eating and sleeping in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres.

19. Including the Bikurei Yaakov (Orach Chayim 668, 4, citing proof from the Rashba and also mentioning that Rav Nosson Adler did so as well), the Divrei Malkiel (Shu”t vol. 1, 32), and the Ben Ish Chai (Year 1, Parshas V’zos Habrachah 13), who rule that one must also sleep in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres.

20. This is the opinion of the Ravyah (562, cited by the Mordechai in his glosses to Sukkah 772) which is defended by the Rema (Darchei Moshe, Orach Chayim 663:3) and Levush (ad loc.) from the Beis Yosef’s challenge. The Maharil (Seder HaTefillos Chag HaSukkos 13) held this way, as did many later Acharonim including the Noda Bi’Yehudah (Shu”t Kama Orach Chayim 40), Ksav Sofer (Shu”t Orach Chayim 120), Divrei Yisrael (Shu”t vol. 1, 200), and Rav Shlomo Kluger (Hagahos Chochmas Shlomo to Orach Chayim 668), who prove that the Ravyah is correct, and one does not sleep in a sukkah on Shmini Atzeres. The Minchas Ani (Shu”t 25, 1), although ruling that one should treat being in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres the same as the rest of Sukkos, nevertheless was upset at those who held that one should be more stringent regarding the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres, as eating in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres is a d’rabbanan mitaam safe’k, as opposed to the rest of Sukkos.

21. Shu”t Ksav Sofer (Orach Chayim 120 s.v. vchein ra’isi). See also Shu”t Hisorerus Teshuvah (vol. 1, 18 & vol. 2, 25) who defends this shitah of his grandfather.

22. Mishnah Berurah (668, 8). See, however, Kitzur Shulchan Aruch (138, 5), which also acknowledges that the minhag haolam is not to sleep in the sukkah, yet still concludes that it is proper to do so anyway.

23. This shitah of Rav Moshe’s is cited in Sefer Shmeitsah D’Moshe (Shmuos Moshe, Hilchos Lulav 640, 2 & footnote 18 and 668, 1 & footnote 9).

24. Sfas Emes (Sukkah 47a s.v. maysiv; cited in Piskei Teshuvos vol. 6, pg. 455 footnote 3), Aruch Hashulchan (Orach Chayim 668, 2-5; who is melamed zechus for those who neither eat nor sleep in the sukkah, and explains that a heker is needed between our actions in the sukkah during Sukkos and those on Shmini Atzeres in colder climates, otherwise it appears that one is doing so exclusively for mitzvah), Shu”t Eretz Tzvi (vol. 1:98), and Shu”t Minchas Elazar (vol. 4:31). The Minchas Elazar adds an addition reason to be lenient, based on Tosafos’ comments about waving the lulav (see footnote 14). He equates eating in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres in a colder climate with waving the lulav on Shmini Atzeres, maintaining that neither should be done because it is apparent that one is doing it exclusively for the mitzvah and will look like a tarti d’sasri. Others who defend this minhag include the Yosef Ometz (Minhag Frankfurt, 1058, which states that one has what to rely upon not to eat in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres), Elef La’Magen (Orach Chayim 625, 45), Shu”t Chedvas Yaakov (Tinyana, 127), Shu”t Beis Yisrael (107), Shu”t Chok Moshe (27), Shu”t Maharshag (vol. 1:35), Rav Yitzchak Isaac Yechiel of Komarna (perhaps better known for his Shulchan Hatahor on Orach Chayim; in his Heichal Brachah al Hatorah commentary to Parshas Emor ch. 23 verse 36), Shu”t Divrei Yaakov (77), Otzar Chayim (mitzvah 326), Minhagei Komarna (Sukkos 513 & footnote ad loc.), and Shaarim Metzuyanim B’halachah (138:3).

25. Although they do not rule this way, the Chayei Adam (klal 153, 5), Aruch Hashulchan (Orach Chayim 668:3), and Maharsham (Daas Torah, Orach Chayim 668 s.v. chutz) cite minhagim to eat only partially in the sukkah. See also Shu”t Kiryas Chana David (vol. 1, Orach Chayim 81), who writes that the inyan of sukkah on Shmini Atzeres is not a chiyuv but rather chavivus hamitzvah.

26. Korban Nesanel, glosses to the Rosh (Sukkah Ch. 4, 7), Midrash Tanchuma (Parshas Pinchas, 15).

27. For an extensive article on whether it is proper to say “geshem” or “gashem,” and what the disparate customs are dependent on, see http://ohr.edu/this_week/insights_into_halacha/4903.

28. Shu”t Chacham Tzvi (167) and Shulchan Aruch Harav (Orach Chayim 496, 11; although he also cites that “yesh cholkim,” nonetheless, this first opinion is ikar—see also vol. 1, Mahadura Tinyana 68). This shitah is also defended by the Shoel Umeishiv (Shu”t Mahadura Telitai vol. 2, 28) and heavily implied by the Avnei Neizer (Shu”t Orach Chayim 539, Hashmatos to Hilchos Yom Tov, 48-end; he maintains that “da’atam lachzor” should not apply even for visitors from Eretz Yisrael who are staying in chutz la’Aretz over Yom Tov). Rav Yechiel Michel Tukachinsky (Ir Hakodesh V’hamikdash vol. 3, ch. 19, 8) reports that his grandfather, the Av Beis Din of Yerushalayim for the latter part of the 19th century, Rav Shmuel Salant, zt”l, was noteh to this shitah as well. This shitah has also found a smach in certain Rishonim, including Rabbeinu Chananel’s understanding of Rav Safra’s opinion (Pesachim 51b-52a), and the Ra’avan (Pesachim 162, 2; see Even Shlomo’s commentary 37). Although, as shown later on, most contemporary authorities do not rule this way, nonetheless, Chabad chasidim generally follow the shitah of their Alter Rebbe, the Shulchan Aruch Harav, and only keep one day in Eretz Yisrael, no matter how long they intend on staying.

29. Although there are those who want to prove that the Shulchan Aruch meant to rule that a visitor to Eretz Yisrael should only keep one day, as in his Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chayim 496) he only mentions visitors from Eretz Yisrael in chutz la’Aretz, who need to keep a two-day Yom Tov like the locals; nevertheless, he personally put that notion to rest in his Shu”t Avkas Rachel (26), where he ruled that the Yom Tov observance of visitors to Eretz Yisrael is dependent on whether they are planning on staying or not. Other poskim who rule this way include Rav Yaakov Emden (Shu”t Sheilas Ya’avetz vol. 1, 168), the Pe’as Hashulchan (Hilchos Eretz Yisrael 2, 15, 21), the Chida (Shu”t Chayim Sha’al 55, and Birkei Yosef, Orach Chayim 496, 7), Mahar”i Chagiz (Shu”t Halachos Ketanos vol. 1, 4), Shaarei Teshuvah (496, end 5; he makes a sikum of the shitos), Aruch Hashulchan (Orach Chayim 496, end 5), Mishnah Berurah (ad loc. 13), Kaf Hachayim (ad loc.

38), and Rav Yechiel Michel Tukachinsky (Ir Hakodesh Vehamikdash vol. 3, Ch. 19, 8). See also Shu”t Igros Moshe (Orach Chayim vol. 3, 73 and 74).

30. How the poskim define “da’atam lachzor” is not so simple and may vary from posek to posek; each individual situation needs to be taken into account. See at length Kaf Hachayim (Orach Chayim 496, 38-59) and Yom Tov Sheini Kehilchaso (Ch. Keviyus Sheim Ben E”Y Uben Chu”l, pp. 156-208).

31. Rav Tukachinsky’s Luach Eretz Yisrael (Shmini Atzeres), Shu”t Minchas Shlomo (Kama vol. 1, 19, 1 and Halichos Shlomo—Moadim vol. 1, Ch. 12, 18), Shu”t Minchas Yitzchak (vol. 9, 54), and Shemiras Shabbos K’hilchasah (old print ch.

31, 40; new print ch. 2, 32 and footnote 65).

32. Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l’s shitah is found in Shu”t Rivevos Efrayim (vol. 3, 439). Shitos of Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, zt”l, Rav Shmuel HaLevi Wosner, shlita, and Rav Chaim Pinchas Scheinberg, zt”l, are cited in Yom Tov Sheini Kehilchaso (ch. 2, footnote 48); Shu”t Baer Moshe (vol. 7, pg. 315, 4—Dinei Bnei E”Y & Chu”l). However, the Baer Moshe held that even though a chutznik must eat in a sukkah in Eretz Yisrael on Shmini Atzeres, he nevertheless need not sleep in the sukkah that night. However, the Steipler Gaon, zt”l, is quoted (in Yom Tov Sheini Kehilchaso ch. 2, footnote 49) as maintaining that a chutznik should even sleep in the sukkah on Shmini Atzeres.

33. The shitah of Rav Ben Tzion Abba Shaul zt”l is cited in Yom Tov Sheini Kehilchaso (ch. 2, footnote 49); Shu”t Yechaveh Daas (vol. 2, 76); Shu”t Betzeil Hachochmah (vol. 5, 146). However, it should be noted that both Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt”l, and Rav Yosef Shalom Elyashiv, zt”l, explicitly disagreed with this rationale. (See Yom Tov Sheini Kehilchaso, ibid.)

34. Devarim, ch. 14, verse 1.

t h e c l o s e o u t c o n n e c t i o n. c o m

! ! s s e For L 4

3

2

1

1 Fold in half

6’ bench

34.99

$

Boro Park 4518 13th Ave. 718.854.2595

4’ table

34.99

$

Fold in half

6’ table

49.99

$

2

3

5’ table

44.99

$

Fold in half

8’ table

69.99

$

Lakewood Todd PLaza cedarhursT 134 Washington Ave. 1091 River Ave (Route 9) 732.364.8822 516.218.2211

chair

16.99

$

4 folding bed

79.99 and up

$

Upscale. On Sale.

TM

T H E E S R O G

E X P E R T

Interview with Rav Aharon Schapiro of Bnei Brak, son of the Naroler Rebbe, rav of the Naroler beis midrash in Bnei Brak, and renowned expert in the kashrus of esrogim

By Rabbi Ezra Friedman

H A L A C H A H

W

hat’s your background in the field of esrogim?

My grandfather, the Naroler Rebbe, zt”l, was a highly-regarded posek in esrogim. Once, when he had already retired for the night, someone came to him with an esrog question. Understandably, the gabbaim didn’t let him enter, but when the Rebbe overheard the man, he called him into his bedroom. He sat up in bed to examine the esrog. I inherited his passion for the kashrus of esrogim, and I’ve been pulled toward this field since my youth.

Seventeen years ago, Rav Yaakov Meir Stern, an eminent dayan in esrogim and a talmid of Rav Wosner, shlita, asked me and some others to help organize the four grades of esrogim into boxes. After several days of observing me, he remarked to Rav Avrum Friedman, son of the largest esrog proprietor in Israel at the time, that I had potential!

How did you achieve the remarkable level of expertise as the foremost esrog expert?

By constant immersion in the world of esrogim, examining thousands annually, I learn new things every year, in addition to my experience.

When my grandfather was niftar six

years ago, I became rav of his beis midrash, so the esrog proprietors thought my involvement in esrogim was over. I surprised them when I said, “Of course!”

I knew that the only way to retain the knowledge and expertise was through practice.

In addition to my work as a rav, from Tammuz to Sukkos I travel to various esrog fields across the country to examine esrogim for sellers around the world, and I answer sh’eilos in my home. I used to sell my hand-picked esrogim as well.

What type of sh’eilos do people ask you?

Rabbanim of the beis din of Rav Nissim Karelitz, the venerable talmid of the Chazon Ish, send esrogim with sh’eilos to me, as do buyers and sellers. They are generally about when the pitum fell off, the answer to which is impossible to determine without experience. Over time, I’ve learned how to detect it.

People davka choose an esrog with a pitum for one of two reasons: either to ensure that the pitum didn’t fall off after the esrog was severed from the tree (making it pasul), or for its beauty. In some of the orchards, 90% of esrogim come with pitums.

How is it that the pitum can survive today even after the esrogim are cut from the trees?

The pitum provides nourishment to the

rest of the fruit until it develops somewhat, and then it crumbles and falls off. About 20 years ago, an Israeli grapefruit grower realized all his grapefruits were sporting pitums, and they continued to cleave to the fruits even as they ripened. Knowing this would be his esrog-grower friend’s dream, he called him over to show him the “miracle.”

Upon further research, the esrog grower learned that these grapefruits were subjected to a chemical sprayed alongside the nearby highway to keep it shrub-free. (The Israeli Department of Agriculture learned of this chemical after its use in Vietnam, where it was utilized to wipe out jungles to expose hiding combatants.)

Since then, this chemical has been used in minute amounts in all esrogim fields. It sends a message to the pitum that its work isn’t complete even after the fruit ripens, ensuring that the pitum doesn’t detach itself.

There are so many esrogim with pitums today, some growers are forced to buy esrogim without pitums from their competitors for those clients who specifically request them.

How exactly can you tell whether the pitum fell off while the esrog was still attached to the tree or after, thereby making it pasul?

According to the Shulchan Aruch, if there’s an indentation at the tip of the esrog, a guma, the pitum fell off when its

purpose came to an end, hence its kosher status. However, if the surface is smooth, which is known as chaluk, this indicates that the pitum fell off only later, once the esrog was cut from the tree.

In addition to this, I also came up with my own chiddush, which has proven to be correct countless times: There are times when an esrog with a guma still indicates that it’s pasul—when there’s a knob, even a very tiny one, that formed above the esrog.

Anytime there’s even a tiny protrusion, I pasken that the esrog is pasul. I’ve shared this chiddush with many rabbanim, all of whom had much hana’ah from it.

Once at a conference on hilchos esrogim, where all attendees shared their chiddushim. I, still an amateur in the field, approached Rav Yankel Blau, zt”l, head of the Eidah Hachareidis at the time, with this chiddush, which was my most recent one then. Rav Yankel, with his characteristic sharp wit, said to me, “This, together with siyata dishmaya, is very good.”

Before we parted, I gave him my kuntrus, Hilchos Esrog Halachah L’Maaseh.

Two years later, my son attended another such conference, but he lost his tongue at the podium upon observing the esteemed crowd of gedolim. When Rav Blau saw my kuntrus in my son’s hand and learned that the writer was his father, he said to him, “Your father knows what he’s talking about.” Indeed, his children shared with me at his shivah that my sefer graced his table all Sukkos.

How many “nice” esrogim do growers harvest each year?

From every 200 esrogim, there’s about one nice one, which is half a percent of all those grown. That’s a very small percentage. When you hold your esrog in your hand this Sukkos, keep in mind that the cost also covers the ones that never made it into boxes. Esrog-growing entails so much more than meets the eye. It’s very laborious.

Why is the trajectory of all other fruits much more predictable?

(Laughs.) What’s your question? How

196 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

many yungeleit learn Torah and how many don’t? Wherever there’s a mitzvah, there’s a yeitzer hara. In this area too he pokes his nose in and makes “U’lekachtem lachem pri eitz hadar” harder for us. Had it grown like a lemon, we’d mindlessly add it to our produce order on Erev Yom Tov. How is the esrog’s growth process different from those of other fruits?

Esrogim have 40-50 different possibilities for ruination, from various insects infestation to growth issues, compared to 14-15 for other fruits. So many factors in esrog-growing work against us because we want to get only the most mehudar crops.

For instance, every esrog that’s not tied tightly to its branch risks getting poked by a thorn, deeming it pasul.

Also, an esrog tree is so fragile that workers can’t even lean a ladder against it.

Therefore, they keep cutting the trees so they don’t grow too tall.

After all the toil, esrog trees only produce nice results for a maximum of 14-15 years, compared to 20-30 years for other types of

1) Heaps of esrogim awaiting burial in keeping with the halachos of terumos and ma’asros 2) Rows of grafted trees: the root is thicker than the rest of the trunk.

An esrog from such a tree would be murkav.

3) Esrogim tied tightly to their branches to prevent ruination from thorns

1.

2.

3.

4.

4) Workers performing the shalosh etzbaos measurement before removing an esrog from the tree

trees. Thus, we can’t enjoy the return on investment for more than 8-9 years (first three years due to orlah, then neta revai, and once every seven years due to shemittah) before we have to replant the trees from scratch.

What does the hechsher of an esrog establish?

The number one issue is murkav.

Most citrus trees, especially ones that

produce esrogim, are so feeble they can barely hold the weight of their own produce. Then there’s the chushchash (wild orange) tree, which is strong but doesn’t produce good fruit at all. Since the combination of both type of trees is ideal, growers learned to combine them.

However, there are two main problems: first, the grafted esrog contains another species, which falls under the issur of baal tosif, and second, others hold that it’s now

less of an esrog, rendering it chaser (which, by the way, is only a problem on the first day).

Because the combination is obvious on the rings at the foot of a tree, it’s easy to identify whether a tree is grafted or not.

Thus, this was never really an issue. However, since replanted grafted trees render the esrogim “ben murkav,” also considered a pegam, we want to ensure even those trees aren’t used.

your jewelry transformed by our in house professinoal jeweler

remount your diamond

in a new setting while you wait

Wh en you ho ld your esro g in your hand th is Suk kos, keep in m ind that th e cost also covers th e ones that never made it into boxes.

Also, chemicals now provide the strength that the chushchash tree once contributed, so that process is no longer necessary. But our goal is to validate that there was no grafting involved, ever.

How does a mashgiach know if an esrog is ben murkav or not?

The Chasam Sofer says we can no longer rely on the four signs the Shulchan Aruch gives, because nowadays it’s normal to find some with the signs and some without, even on the same tree.

The Chazon Ish once pointed to a tree in an Arab village and said that it was never murkav. For this reason, his followers only buy esrogim produced by propagation of that specific tree. Those are the well-known Esrogei Chazon Ish, completely based on his words, which were nevuah. [It’s a] similar story with the Kfar Chabad esrogim.

The rest of us rely on chazakah, trusting that the mashgichim researched as far back as possible.

What else does a hechsher confirm?

That the proper terumos and maasros were taken. We do this entirely la’chumra; because a person pays so much for his esrog, we want to be sure it’s of the highest caliber. Mashgichim in Eretz Yisrael also verify that all halachos of shemittah are scrupulously kept.

Do all esrogim become hefker during shemittah?

Because we know people need esrogim every year, shemittah or not, we do otzer beis din: We give them all away to the beis din, which gives them out. They only charge the amount it costs to produce the esrogim, according to their grades.

Personally, the shemittah year yielded a special joy. When I sold esrogim in my youth, I happily put away my really nice pieces for people who wanted to be mehader—but couldn’t afford the higher prices. During the shemittah year, because then they only had to pay cost price.

Do esrog crops generally yield the same amount each year?

Totally not. In this field, we can clearly see how parnassah is bashert for a person. One year, the season could yield gorgeous crops.

The next year, the results could be very poor.

Even in the same year, one grower might barely reap any nice esrogim, while another might get perfect ones in abundance. It’s all siyata dishmaya. We do our hishtadlus and the rest is in Hashem’s hands.

Do you find inspiration in this field?

Over the years, I’ve learned something every Yid should know: Like everything else in life, every esrog has its predestined address that was already determined when you davened the past Tu Bi’Shvat, and I’ve

198 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

seen it b’chush.

When I sold esrogim, I had one steady customer who always asked for a rather cheap piece. Over time, he became successful and started spending on cars, his home and nice vacations. One year, because I liked to put a ta’am into the mitzvah for yungeleit, I said to him, “You’re blessed with a nice fortune.

You have a nice car, nice home and whatever else you desire. Why not spend some more for Hashem, to do a hiddur mitzvah?”

From that year on, he always asked me to put aside a special piece for him.

Having gained an appreciation for this special mitzvah, he upped his budget with every purchase. I figured out the type of esrog he preferred and I’d put aside a nice piece for him.

One year, Yom Tov was approaching and this yungerman still hadn’t come for his esrog. As I started to close shop, I put my “leftovers” on the table, hoping to sell them all before it would be too late.

Suddenly, right before closing time, he ran in, panting. He had a very busy week and couldn’t make it in earlier. Of course his hands reached out to pick “the” esrog, the one I’d set aside for him weeks before.

It works like a shidduch, no less. Every esrog has its bashert owner, often traveling across the globe to reach him.  Shiffy Friedman contributed to this interview.

Ami. Results.

“ THE

NEW DAY NEW TIME NEW STATION

SHOW

620 AM

DOV HIKIND WithV DO EN COH

WSNR

Wednesday Evenings 7-8pm for lively Join us ions of discuss ues and iss current ng topics interesti

Call in: 347.985.1080 To Advertise, Call 516.658.6635

The decision to advertise in Ami Magazine has turned out to be one of our best business strategies. We’ve gotten more feedback from our ads in Ami then from any of our other advertisments.

”

Mordy Siegel President Crescor Travel LLC

One nation. One magazine.

my word!

A S H E R V. F I N N

Each week, “My Word!”—penned by the esteemed president of the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to English—highlights often-misused or misspelled phrases or words, common grammatical challenges, unusual expressions or neologisms. Or it just calls attention to curious or interesting locutions.

So if you want to learn some new things about English—or are already expert in the language and want to prove it to yourself—you’ve come to the right place.

Lifescape

A

ll of my readers likely know what a “scapegoat” is—a “fall guy,” someone who takes the blame for something that isn’t his fault. But not all of you may know that the source of that word is the sa’ir la’Azazel, the animal that met its inglorious fate yearly (well, yes, it was a different goat each year) on Yom Kippur when the Bais Hamikdosh stood. Well, now you do!

The sa’ir, or goat, sent off the Azazel-cliff is described as symbolically carrying off the sins of the Jewish people. The word “Azazel” was rendered by the Vulgate (the late 4th-century Latin translation of the Torah) as caper emissaries, or the “sent goat.” A later Protestant scholar, understanding that Latin phrase as “the goat that departs,” or “escapes,” decided to get creative. (Presumably, he meant that the goat escaped being sacrificed; it certainly didn’t escape its demise.) And thus was the word “scapegoat” born.

All of my readers likely know what “escape” means. But not all of you may know that the root of that word is the Latin cappa, or “hooded cloak,” the root of our English word “cape,” a sleeveless, loose garment. Well, now you do!

“Escape” essentially means getting “out of” (“ex”) one’s cape (cappa). That simple meaning of releasing oneself from one’s mantle eventually yielded the more familiar use of the word: “getting away from, or out of,” anything.

One who escapes imprisonment is, of course, an escapee, a word coined in 1875. He may have planned an escape route.

And one who is creating a contract but wishes to protect himself in case certain circumstances prevent him from fulfilling his contractual obligations, might make sure that the docu200 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

ment includes an “escape clause,” a phrase dating from 1945.

If you are wondering what escaping from a garment or a prison has to do with a “landscape,” wonder no more. The answer is: nothing.

The word “landscape,” from the Middle Dutch landscap, or “region,” originally was used (and in fact still is) to describe a painting of natural scenery. Later it came to be used to mean not only a painting of a tract of land but the tract itself. In the 1900s, it morphed into a verb, meaning to cultivate lawns and plant trees and shrubbery. More recently, it has entered Spanish (no, no, not really).

“Landscape” has spawned many scapes of its own, like “seascape,” “cityscape,” and “moonscape.”

Another “scape” word, with no obvious connection to any of the above, is “escapement,” which is a device in mechanical watches and clocks that transfers energy to the timekeeping element in a way that allows the number of its oscillations to be counted. An escapement, driven by force from a spring or weight, releases the tooth of a gear. That’s what makes a clock tick.

And ticking is what all our clocks are doing, relentlessly, unstoppably, toward the holiest day of the Jewish year. We don’t have the sa’ir la’Azazel, of course, at present, though we hope we will by week’s end. Even if we don’t, though, the day of Yom Kippur itself atones for many misdeeds. As for the rest of our heavy packages, well, there’s no escape clause in our covenant with our Creator. But there is an escape route of sorts: teshuva.

A gmar chasima tova to all!

•

Ami. Results.

“

Time and time again Ami Magazine has proven to be a powerful advertising tool for us. We’ve gotten a tremendous amount of response.

Advertising with Ami is smart business.

”

Heshey Biegelisen The Buzz

One nation. One magazine.

O

r u

JOURNEY B Y R A B B I S H OL OM F R I E D M A N N

A W E E K LY L O O K A T T H E K L E I N M A N F A M I LY H O L O C A U S T E D U C A T I O N C E N T E R

Fragments of Our Past

HOW YOU CAN HELP PRESERVE THE MEMORY OF THE SIX MILLION FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS

W

hen the phone rings at the offices of the Kleinman Family Holocaust Education Center, the call gets fielded and the rest of us generally mind our own business. But when the ringing is at Mrs. Meryl Maybruch’s desk, we get a bit nosy. Of course, everyone pretends not to listen in on the conversation, but many of us simply can’t resist. What makes her so popular, you ask? Meryl is our contact person for artifact collection. Since artifacts play a central role in teaching about the kedoshim, the team is always eager to know if someone’s calling with a new addition to our collection.

So the other day her phone rings.

“KFHEC, Meryl speaking!” Two people on their way out of the office “suddenly” find some interesting files to look over.

“Yes, sure I’ve heard of that place. It was a displaced persons camp in Germany. Your mother was there? She has what?” A pause.

It’s strangely quiet in the room. “Of course I can come over. When’s a good time?”

A few more words about names and places, and Meryl’s done. Everyone seems busy again. Of course, Meryl keeps all names of her contacts confidential, but she knows we like to hear about a new

lead. “The first shtreimel!” she announces.

“This woman says her mother has the first shtreimel made after the war, from the DP camps. She wants me to come over next week and have a look.”

We were all pretty excited. The meaning behind such an item cannot be overstated.

After the nearly complete annihilation of European Jewry and chasidus, the fact that obtaining a shtreimel was a priority to survivors speaks volumes to their love of and commitment to Yiddishkeit.

Two days later, we just happened to hear another one of Meryl’s conversations. This one did not have a good ending. “Sure I remember the shtreimel. Oh, I’m so sorry.

Why did she throw it out?” By now, everyone was pretending to be back at work.

“It was a mistake, don’t worry about it,” Meryl says. “Yes, it does happen. Of course it’s not your fault.”

Meryl hangs up, shaking her head sadly.

“The shtreimel is gone. Her mother was cleaning the basement and threw it out just a few months ago.” Why would someone throw out such a significant piece of history? “She didn’t realize it was important.”

The shtreimel may be gone, but the story behind it lives on. In a displaced persons camp in Germany, a few chasidim were

202 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

determined to rebuild their lives. Some weddings were arranged, and the chasidim wanted a shtreimel for the chasanim. With few or no relatives and none of the trappings of today’s weddings, this small vestige of their past would rekindle memories and bring hope for their future. Their determination in the face of skeptics and logistical difficulties paid off, and they somehow procured a shtreimel.

Certainly this tattered shtreimel lying in a basement was a far cry from the sleek round shtreimlach worn today, but its message is priceless. With the ashes of the Holocaust still smoldering beneath their feet, these Yidden yearned to restore their chasidus to the glory that once was. Unsure of what lay ahead of them, they took the first steps toward this goal. To a great extent, because of the emunah and determination of survivors like them, we have thriving Jewish communities all over the world today.

Stories of discarded or abandoned artifacts are not the exception. There are thousands of items from the war in homes all across the country, but many of them are ignored or languishing in neglect. Often, items deteriorate to the point where the owner just throws them out. However, many times people simply do not real-

“The first shtreimel!” she announces. “This woman says her mother has the first shtreimel made after the war!”

Survivors in a DP camp celebrating a mesiba shel mitzvah (Property of KFHEC)

ize their significance, or they assume no one else really cares.

Meryl once visited a survivor in her home, and as she was about to leave, the elderly woman said, “Just a minute. I have something to show you.” From the bottom of a closet, she pulled out a plastic bag with what looked like an old house dress stuffed inside. “This is what they gave us to wear in the labor camp,” she said. “I never showed it to my children, but I thought you may be interested.”

“Aside from the obvious lack of care that the dress was being afforded,” says Meryl, “I shudder to think what her children—not knowing its significance—would have eventually done with it!”

At KFHEC, we are committed to the preservation and teaching of the lessons of history for generations to come. However, in order to reach our goals, we need help from the klal.

There are a variety of options for artifact donation.

In all cases, you can be sure that these treasures will be protected and cared for by professionals in a secure, climate-controlled environment.

By sharing artifacts, pictures and mementos with the public, you are guaranteeing that future generations will continue to be inspired by the lives of those kedoshim who so strongly desired that their story not be forgotten.

Not only will you preserve your personal family’s legacy, you will be ensuring that the Torah’s timeless messages of mesiras nefesh, bitachon and kiddush hachayim are perpetuated as well.

Please contact Mrs. Meryl Maybruch at (917) 8371119, or you can reach her via e-mail at mmaybruch@ kfhec.org. We’re all waiting for your call. Indeed, klal Yisrael is waiting for your call.

•

Determination to rebuild: A list of survivors requesting kosher food in the DP camp in Salzburg, Austria. The list was donated to the KFHEC after it was partially destroyed by a fire in its owner’s home.

Rabbi Sholom Friedmann is the Director of the Kleinman Family Holocaust Education Center, located in Brooklyn, NY. To learn more, visit kfhec.org. You can also contact the Center at kfhec@kfhec.org or 718-759-6200.

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

203

How Can I Get My Husband to Stop Abusing Our Son?

Dear Rabbi Taub: My husband is a very special man who grew up in a negative environment. My father-in-law would yell and hit to get a message across. My mother in-law has her own issues. Together they created a negative environment where humiliation, anger and intolerance were the norm.

I did not tolerate this kind of relationship in our marriage. We went for help and I learned how to not let him put me down and to stick up for myself. Baruch Hashem, now we have a wonderful, fulfilling marriage where he tries to respect me more than his parents did each other. He is aware of the bad effects. But when it comes to our oldest child, my husband cannot control himself. He constantly belittles him. It has become so severe that my child struggles to keep a healthy selfimage.

For a while I stuck up for my child. But my husband went wild and was even harder on my son. I tell my son, “Totty doesn’t really mean it; he loves you but had a hard day at work and you are the one he takes it out on.” But I feel his chinuch is affected, since he is also struggling to achieve in school. My husband pays a lot of money to tutors out of love for him and to feel he’s doing his part in learning/chinuch, but then puts down our son in an extreme way with nasty negative words. My son is a spitting image of his father: He looks, acts and thinks just like him. That triggers the reaction of my husband, because he was always mocked for his behavior and he wants to make his son a better person. My son is also very smart and shrewd and tries to outsmart us. He’s impulsive and does or says things he later regrets or feels ashamed of. His listening skills are also impaired because of probable auditory processing disorder (which my husband struggled with in the same way).

I’m afraid for this child’s future, since he feels disliked by his father, whom he tries hard to impress. I work hard

204 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

with the staff at school that he should be recognized for whatever he can learn. But his social status is also lacking in school, since he feels less valued and tries to impress with the latest gadgets, which is not always acceptable in our community.

I tried to get my mother-in-law involved, since she really understands him well (my son is a lot like her, too).

She does try to give him lots of positive attention, which really makes him feel good, but her home is not a good place for him to go, because my father-in-law acts out in the same mocking way he did with his children. He insults him a lot at the Shabbos table and my son hates going there.

I also spoke to our rav who is trying to help us, but my husband is embarrassed and stopped going to that shul now. Whenever the rav does see our son, he gives him lots of attention but it’s still not enough to help.

My question is this: How should I react when my husband lashes out at our son? When I stay quiet it’s as if I agree to his father’s abuse and he deserves it. If I fight back it blows into a fight and my husband feels disrespect. Please answer as soon as possible, since the Yamim Noraim are fast approaching and that’s usually the most difficult time for them because they spend lots of time together. (We tried sending him away over Yom Tov, but he likes to stay home and tries to test his father’s love for him.)

I’m waiting to see your response in print, since I feel that if it’s not going to get better we’d need to send our son away from home. That would be very painful for all of us. I love him too much and it would have a negative effect on our marriage.

I’m really looking forward to hearing your insightful advice.

Sincerely, Desperate

D

ear Desperate: Every week I receive several letters from Ami readers describing all sorts of challenging situations, but for some reason I find this letter particularly troubling. Just a couple of issues ago, I responded to a woman who is now married with children who is overcoming an abusive past. In fact, not only did I respond to her, but in a subsequent issue of Ami I revisited her story in order to clarify some of the things I wrote to her.

Although that woman’s story was awful, I felt like her problems were mostly in her past and that her future would be a bright one. Your letter, however, describes a situation that is happening right now and it evokes an entirely different reaction in me.

I feel compelled to make it clear to you that beyond any shadow of a doubt this situation is untenable. It cannot go on like this. You are not allowed to expose your son to this abuse. No ifs, ands or buts. You describe all too vividly the effects that the abuse has already had on him.

My first reaction is to tell you that if no change is made in the present situation, then you may have no choice but to look for another home for him. It is that serious. As terrible as this sounds, what your son is currently enduring is far worse.

There are children who have been saved by being sent away if the home situation could not be made safe for them, so as drastic as it may sound, it cannot be ruled out. Your son must be raised in a healthy environment so that he will not be subject to further mistreatment and also so that this script doesn’t get passed down to yet another generation, G-d forbid. Obviously,

the ideal would be that the whole family stays together and heals together. But if that does not happen, a secure environment for your son must be obtained one way or another.

Having made my opinion on this matter absolutely clear, I will now try to use the remainder of this column to help you get the help that you need so that you, your husband, your son, and your other chil-

aware of the bad effects.”

I am happy that you stood up for yourself and that you saw a positive resolution to your problem. This is all very good. But what, then, am I to conclude when you say that when you stuck up for your son, your husband went wild and “was even harder on him”? Does that sound like the behavior of a husband who is respecting his wife? Your husband must know that

YOUR FAMILY IS ALREADY ON A PATH TOWARD HEALING, WHICH STARTED WHEN YOU STOOD UP FOR YOURSELF EARLY IN YOUR MARRIAGE. dren can grow closer together as a family.

I will begin by making some observations. Please try to follow this closely as this will be very important in everything that I want to tell you.

It is interesting to me that you say that when your husband was acting abusively toward you at the beginning of your marriage you were able to stand up for yourself. I will repeat your own words back to you: “I did not tolerate this kind of relationship in our marriage. We went for help and I learned how to not let him put me down and to stick up for myself. Baruch Hashem, now we have a wonderful, fulfilling marriage where he tries to respect me more than his parents did each other. He is

the way he treats your son is causing you anguish. Yet when you cry out in pain, his response is to punish you by escalating the behavior? Now, I believe you when you say that your marriage has vastly improved and even that things are generally very good between you, and at the same time, I’m trying to make sense of this piece of information which is, to say the least, incongruous with the “wonderful, fulfilling marriage” you claim to have.

But that’s just one thing that has me confused. I have another difficulty. How do I reconcile the fact that when it comes to disrespecting his wife, your husband was able to change his ways because, in your words, “he is aware of the bad effects” (presumably on the children, you mean)

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

205

but when it comes to directly berating and demeaning his son, he isn’t aware of the bad effect? One would think that would be somewhat of a “kal va’chomer.” If mistreating their mother is bad for the kids, then mistreating the kids is bad for the kids too, no?

To recap, there are two major inconsistencies: 1) On the one hand, your husband has made great strides in showing you respect, so much so that you are generally very happy about your relationship with him. But on the other hand, if you dare approach him regarding his abuse of your son, his response is to intensify the abuse.

2) On the one hand, your husband was able to improve the way he treats you because he realized that mistreating his wife would hurt his children. But on the other hand, he is not able to stop directly hurting his child.

To reiterate what I mentioned before, I am genuinely happy about the improvements that your husband has made. I actually do believe you when you say that there has been much success already. I am not pointing out these inconsistencies in order to catch you in a lie or to prove that your picture of reality is deluded. Quite the contrary, one reason why I am pointing out these inconsistencies is so that you can see where things don’t add up so you can replicate your past success in these areas that still need improvement.

(I have another reason as well for pointing out these inconsistencies but I will get to that later.) For now, I just want to make clear that I truly believe that your family is already on a path toward healing and that you started on that path when, early in your marriage, you stood up for yourself and told your husband that the

dysfunctional script that he grew up with would not be repeated in your marriage with him. I believe that real progress was made since that time, and that your husband was able to become aware of and get rid of some old “shtick” even though it is all that he knew from his upbringing.

a proper assessment or a diagnosis been made? This is not my field of expertise, but I can tell you that an auditory processing disorder cannot just be tutored away. It can to varying degrees be therapeutically remediated by professionals in the field of auditory processing, which includes

I AM NOT POINTING OUT THESE INCONSISTENCIES IN ORDER TO CATCH YOU IN A LIE OR TO PROVE THAT YOUR PICTURE OF REALITY IS DELUDED. So, in practical terms, what this means for you is that your husband should be praised for the progress he has made so far and he should continue on this path. Just as professional help was required the first time, so too he should seek professional help this time. And just as your stance was non-negotiable when you first sought help, so should it be now. A witness to abuse cannot remain silent. You were able to draw clear boundaries once before, and you absolutely must do so again now.

With Hashem’s help, I believe that your family unit can remain intact and that your son can receive the safety and security he needs.

I want now to turn my attention away from your husband for a moment and focus on some of the things you said about your son. What is this “probable auditory processing disorder” that you refer to so quickly in passing? And why is it only “probable”? Either it is or it isn’t. Has

206 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

some audiologists and some speech and language pathologists, but simply hiring tutors will not address the issue.

What your son needs is a specific assessment, since auditory processing has many different components and some components might be strong while others may be weak. Once the assessment is shared with the school, then everyone can get on board to be coached how to actually facilitate your son’s best performance immediately.

Rather than just trying to make him feel good by recognizing what he is already accomplishing, they can help him to actually accomplish more. Also, if the tutors could know the extent to which your son can use other kinds of processing that can be paired with the auditory processing, that would be a great help for them in catching him up with whatever information he doesn’t get in class.

Also, you say about your son that “he’s impulsive and does or says things he later

T•R•A•V•E•L

T• R• A• V • E • L

FLAT RATE FARES ROUND-TRIP FROM/TO

NEW YORK

regrets or feels ashamed of.” Then you immediately add, “His listening skills are also impaired because of probable auditory processing disorder (which my husband struggled with in the same way).”

I might strike the word “also” from that second sentence. These two sentences may very well be describing one and the same condition. Someone who seems to be acting without thinking may actually be doing a great deal of thinking, only the thinking is based on an ineffective way of processing information. If that’s the case, then he’s really not impulsive at all and it would be a shame to get a misdiagnosis based on the superficial appearance of some behaviors. In other words, I’m saying that I really, really want you to have that evaluation done and have some clarity once and for all.

To summarize this point, I think that this auditory processing issue may be a very large piece of the puzzle in helping your son (whether his father changes or not), and I am very glad that you let this little bit of information slip out, even though you did it so nonchalantly that it almost escaped my notice. It’s funny, but it is so often the case that when telling our own story, we barely think to make mention of the major issues while we elaborate on matters of relative insignificance.

I think this letter is a case in point, which leads me to make another observation which I believe may change your entire way of understanding what’s going on.

When you briefly mentioned the “probable auditory processing disorder,” you even more briefly mention, in parenthesis no less, that this is something “which my husband struggled with in the same way.” I will go out on a limb here and say that this is far more significant than you make it out

to be.

You said that one reason that your husband targets your son for abuse is that the child is so much like him. You say that your husband was mocked as a child for behaving in the same ways that your son behaves now but you don’t really spell out what that behavior is. I had to really read between the lines to understand what you meant. But then it hit me.

Where might the inconsistencies I pointed out earlier be coming from?

Remember I asked two questions? I said I didn’t doubt you but I was just having a hard time seeing a logical pattern. I’ll review. My two questions were: 1) How could it be that your husband realized that he needs to treat you better than his father treated his mother but he doesn’t realize that abusing your son is causing you pain?

2) How could it be that your husband’s motivation for being a better husband was in order to not have a bad effect on the kids yet he doesn’t realize that directly mistreating one of his children has a bad effect on that child?

I hesitate to even offer this suggestion, but I feel compelled to share it with you nonetheless. Maybe I am completely off base, but could it be that this inconsistency in logic is actually a symptom of a general problem with processing information?

For instance, it is possible that when you sought professional help for your marriage, your husband was able to “hear” much of that advice loud and clear, and yet the message did not carry over into other areas because of a general difficulty in processing information. Likewise, it is possible also that a person can understand that one thing (mistreating one’s wife) will have a bad effect on one’s child, but not

•DETROIT •CLEVELAND

$250 INCLUDES ALL TAXES & FEES!

•CHICAGO •TORONTO

•MONTREAL

$299 INCLUDES ALL TAXES & FEES!

Fares are flat rate, even for

last minute tickets.

Tickets may be booked one-way.

We specialize in discounted

International Business Class fares.

T•R•A•V•E•L

T•R •A •V •E •L

check out our complete list of fares & destinations at:

www.point2point.com

212.470.5029

info@point2point.com

realize that verbally abusing one’s child also has a bad effect on that same child.

This does not mean that a person who has a hard time reaching these conclu-

sort of difficulty in processing information, I began weeping as I read over and over the sentences: “My son is a spitting image of his father:

WHEN A MAN SEES WHAT IS TRIGGERING HIS NEGATIVE RESPONSES, IT BECOMES MUCH LESS OF AN ALL-ENCOMPASSING PROBLEM. sions is unintelligent. It also doesn’t mean that a person is unsuccessful in life. Case in point, whatever your son has (get that assessment already!) doesn’t stop him from being “smart and shrewd” as you point out. I’m sure your husband is smart and shrewd as well. All the money he spends on tutors comes from somewhere.

I know nothing of your family but I’ll bet your husband is pretty smart and pretty successful. I would not be surprised in the least to find out that he is both bright and accomplished, and at the same time, that he has been struggling his whole life with certain kinds of logic and reasoning that may come easier to people who are even less intelligent than he is. And that would explain a whole lot, because it’s obvious that whatever it is that your husband has been grappling with has caused him a great deal of pain.

Once it occurred to me that perhaps what we are really dealing with is some

He looks, acts and thinks just like him.

That triggers the reaction of my husband because he was always mocked for his behavior and he wants to make his son a better person.”

Again, I know nothing of your family except for what you write in one letter, but once I had this “aha” sort of hunch, I decided that I could not keep it to myself.

As such, I will be so bold as to suggest that in addition to seeking counseling, it might be quite healing for your husband to also have a full language and auditory processing assessment so that he can see in black and white what he is dealing with.

He will have on paper a clear record of his intelligence and strengths and his specific auditory processing deficits that even in an adult can be remediated. Perhaps just as important, when he sees how specific his issues are, he may recognize them in his father too, who then passed down the negativity to him. Or, even if not in his

208 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

own father, he may recognize the symptoms shared between himself and his son.

When a man sees what it is that is triggering his negative responses and what can be done to remediate the deficit, or certainly what can be done to compensate in a healthy way, it becomes much less of an all-encompassing problem and becomes more of a specific issue to be worked on.

This new awareness can lead to a marvelously relieving and ongoing “aha” kind of insight which brings much compassion, love and understanding in its wake.

I am praying for the well-being of your family. May we only hear good news.

•

I wish to acknowledge a debt of gratitude to my mother, Dr. Rivkah Taub, PhD., a speech and language pathologist for over four decades, with whom I consulted while preparing this week’s column.

Gemar chasimah tovah, RST Rabbi Shais Taub is a noted expert on Jewish spirituality and addiction. He is the author of the best-selling G-d of Our Understanding: Jewish Spirituality and Recovery from Addiction. Questions to Rabbi Shais Taub should be sent to ask@amimagazine.org.

Rabbi Shais Taub is available for private consultations. For an appointment, contact him at Ask@Amimagazine.org.

Your struggling child’s wish for the new year...

give me reason to hope this year will turn out better then the last.

I want to share with you the story of our fifteen year old daughter Esther. I hope this will be of help to those of you out there with similar struggles. Our daughter was a bright child who excelled in the majority of her school work. Yet, Esther struggled in two specific areas- reading and spelling. She also was constantly stressed, which at times, resulted in her misbehaving. Her situation was an enigma. We couldn't understand what was behind these weaknesses which plagued our otherwise bright child. When we voiced our concern to her teachers, they would shrug us off saying 'not everyone is a spelling and reading whiz'. We as parents knew there was something else that was behind our daughter's struggles and we continued to probe for the answer.

B'chasdei Hashem, when Esther entered eighth grade we finally found the solution via a caring teacher who taught our daughter. She opted to give a closer look at the 'real' Esther and realized that Esther was a bright child whose future could be better than it looked. With her encouragement, we had our daughter evaluated at Neurolinks and the results showed us clearly that there was a weakness in a specific area of processing. By the end of that year Esther's vocabulary and spelling hardships were behind her. (She amazed us when she came home with a high mark on her vocabulary final with a minimal amount of studying). Esther is also a calmer person. She is pleasant to be around and is overall a much happier child. I can honestly say that thanks to Neurolinks we are experiencing a dream come true!

Yom Tov Season…

Drashah Season PREPARING THE DRASHAH FROM THE RABBI’S PLAYBOOK “Is sloppiness in speech caused by ignorance or apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care.”

—William Safire

S

even hours. That is how long, cumulatively, most baalei batim will hear from their respective rabbanim over the course of the Tishrei yamim tovim. That is seven hours’ worth of cumulative speeches, classes and drashos: drashos before Musaf, before Shofar and before Ne'ilah; after Kol Nidrei, after leining, and shiurim after Minchah of each Yom Tov night. Not to mention Shabbos Shuvah, when there is a lengthy shiur.

Then come Sukkos, Shmini Atzeres, and Simchas Torah…Koheles, V'zos Habrachah.

All in all, this makes seven hours of listening, fidgeting and, dare I say, sleeping. So many speeches can be tough on the rav, and perhaps even tougher on the baalei batim.

Many have wondered why, out of six major biblical holidays, four are bundled together within weeks of one another: Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkos, Shemini Atzeres (see Sefer Shalal Rav, page 63). I assure the reader that rabbanim, who must prepare halachos and drashos for each one of these, ponder this very question more than most other people as Tishrei gets closer and closer.

Rabbanim before the Tishrei yamim tovim are like squirrels before the winter season, desperately looking, seeking, asking for any nugget of Torah, a good story, even a joke—a hook—to open a

sermon. Sometimes it is necessary to read through an entire sefer just to finally experience that one “Eureka!” moment: discovering something that will certainly awe the crowd.

If there are two rules for preparing drashos, they are, as alluded to by Mr. Safire, above: (1) one must know the subject, and (2) one must care about it, and must care about those he is speaking to.

The tale goes something like this: The Jewish mother bangs on her son’s door on Yom Tov morning. “It’s time for shul!

Wake up!” she calls.

No answer.

She slowly cracks open the door to his room and sees her son lying under three blankets and curled up in the fetal position.

210 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

“Wake up! It’s Yom Tov. You can’t miss shul on Yom Tov!” Revealing his face from beneath the blankets, the son looks up at his mother and groggily declares that he is intent on staying in bed all day.

The mother, taken aback, responds, “How could you not go to shul on Yom Tov?” The son is unmoved by her appeals, yet wishes to explain himself. “I will give you two reasons why I am not going to shul: Number one, no one in the shul likes me.

Number two, I don’t like any of them.”

The Yiddishe mamma, not impressed by her son’s excuses, offers her rebuttal.

“Well then, I will give you two reasons why you do have to go to shul. Number one, you’re 54 years old!

BY RABBI MOSHE TAUB

“And number two, you’re the rav!”

This joke always gets a strong laugh from audiences. It humanizes rabbanim, showing that they, too, must deal with insecurity. I have often pointed out to my congregants—and this year, b'chasdei Hashem, I found the same idea in the Dibros Moshe (to Parshas Vayeilech): that the same final words that Moshe uses to bless the nation he also uses, in the next verse, to bless Yehoshua: “Chizku v’imtzu…” This is a reminder that sometimes the leaders, like the nation, need chizuk as well.

will discover whatever it may be that I am working on in my own avodah.

There is a book on public speaking, titled The Sir Winston Method, which is modeled on the great oratory prowess of Winston Churchill. It tells the story of when Prime Minister Churchill needed to see a doctor. His office made the appointment and Mr. Churchill dutifully showed up at the appointment time and place.

When the doctor walked into the room the Prime Minister was shocked, as the doctor could not have been more than five years

One always has to be willing to edit out that which may be brilliant, in favor of that which may inspire.

Speaking for myself, when I am not sure what to say, or what subject to tackle, I use the tool provided by Rav Yisrael Salanter, who taught: It is worthwhile for a rav to spend five hours preparing a drashah that will only take 15 minutes to deliver, even if the only result is that one single individual will daven a better Musaf. This is true even if that one individual is the speaker himself.

If a rav is passionate about what he is speaking of, if he is talking to himself as much as he is the audience, then his words will be that much more powerful.

If people listen closely to my drashos they

out of school. “Please explain something to me,” began Mr. Churchill. “As Prime Minister I can see whichever doctor I wish.

Why would my staff choose you, clearly young in years and, ergo, deficient in knowledge when compared to your peers decades older?”

The doctor is purported to have responded, “Mr. Churchill, people do not care that one knows, rather they want to know that one cares.” One always has to be willing to edit out that which may be brilliant, in favor of that which may inspire.

The ability to speak in front of a captive audience is a privilege. Once a student

Our father, an active community member who has always been on the giving side is now

•

Rabbi Moshe Taub has served as the rabbi of the Young Israel of Greater Buffalo since September 2003, and also serves as the rav hamachshir of the Buffalo Vaad Hakashrus.

To learn how you can save a life or for more information about Kidney Donation,

in desperate need of a

KIDNEY BLOOD TYPE “O”

The comprehensive resource for kidney donors & recipients

of Rav Yitzchak Hutner informed his rebbe that he was hired as a rav for the Yamim Noraim. “Are you nervous?” Rav Hutner asked.

“No, not at all,” the student replied.

“These baalei batim are not learned people, so what is there to be nervous about?”

Rav Hutner told his student that he deserves to be slapped for such a remark.

“If one does not have eimasa d'tzibura (fear of the congregation), then he should not even get up to speak to begin with.”

Much of what a rabbi speaks about is disposable. The best joke, the most inspiring story, or a majestic Torah idea is used once and then retired. Because he is repeatedly speaking to the same audience, he must always be seeking new material.

Because of this, letting a rav notice you sneaking out before he begins is painful; giving him a yasher koach after his speech, on the other hand, can go a long way toward helping him continue to work hard to entertain the crowd and to seek to awaken their spirits.

May we soon merit the time that I can finally join you in the pews in sukkas David and listen to drashos from true leaders like Moshe Rabbeinu, Rabbi Akiva and Rabbeinu Nissim.

please call

(718) 431 9831 or email r671@renewal.org

//E F: 2 6 E LP:U718.431.9831 L 5 7 7 3 / / /S P T718.374.6629 E M B E R 1 , /2//0 1info@renewal.org 3 // AMI MAGAZINE www.renewal.org /// 5904 13th Avenue, Brooklyn, NY 11219

211

BRAIN STORM YITZY YABOK is the pen name of a young man who shares his life-altering experience in Ami’s exclusive serial. His story, which began almost 12 years ago and traverses several continents, has touched the hearts of people all over the world and been an inspiration to many who face challenges. He has lectured before all kinds of audiences, from medical doctors to kollel yungeleit,

about his nisyonos and salvation. He is currently a rebbe in the Midwest and a candidate for a license in clinical mental health counseling. With the blessings of gedolei Torah and tzaddikei Yisrael, he now shares the chasdei Hashem that were bestowed upon him, as both chizzuk and guidance for all those who may be dealing with traumatic illness.

C H A P T E R X LV I I I

With Purim coming up, I knew that

I should not get ahead of myself. Rather, I would enjoy or live every moment for what it was and know that the future was in no way dependent on what I felt at that given moment. I would see Dr. Wolden on Wednesday and have a great time on Purim, enjoying the company of my family and having the opportunity to see friends from yeshivah. But that meant I would take first things first.

Dr. Wolden was happy to see me on Wednesday. It was actually the last time she would see me as my doctor. She was expecting a child and would be out on maternity leave the very next day. Radiation therapy is also not one of those things that, if not effective this time for a specific reason, you can tweak it next time. You only get one shot at it.

There is a maximum amount of radiation your body can handle. She made me keenly aware of this and designated for me a maximum amount of 32 treatments, based on the amount of rads I would need per treatment. Rads are the measurement used in radiation ther-

apy. Actually, the calculation was more complicated, because every week they would increase the amount of rads with which they would try to zap the tumor remnants, if any. I would be treated with those high-intensity gamma-ray beams for six five-day weeks, plus two additional treatments. Then alarm bells started ringing in that troublemaking brain of mine. Yes, I knew that radiation was not chametz, but Pesach would interrupt the radiation schedule. What would I do? Well, baruch Hashem, after further clarification I would only have to miss one day. My 31st treatment would take place on Monday, April 9, the second day of Pesach. At the end of the day, after a short back-and-forth, they said it would be okay, but again I think it was Raymond, the technician who was also in charge of my schedule, just being Raymond. He really was an interesting fellow. He took his job very seriously, and looking back, he really was not so nice. I guess when you work with seriously ill patients every day for years on end, some defense mechanisms natu-

212 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

rally occur over time, and in my dear friend Raymond they presented in a less than desirable nature. He was very curt, and frequently my questions were met with one-word answers, or worse, no response at all.

Then there were my radiation buddies. Of all the people sitting with me in the waiting room when my friends or family did not drive me to radiation therapy, only one of them suffered from a brain tumor. He was also a religious Jew, by the name of Joseph Veroba, a brother of a more well-known Veroba, Gershon Veroba, the singer and composer. We shmoozed about everything. He told me that he loved surfing and that he had dreamed to open a summer camp for frum boys that would have learning in the morning and surfing in the afternoon. He had been surfing all over the world as an amateur, but did not compete professionally because of Shabbos. He could barely walk now and it was quite scary for me because I was facing my own mortality every time I looked at him. There he was—an elite athletic performer who

A PERSONAL JOURNAL BY YITZY YABOK

spent his dreams on the oceans, surfing 12-foot waves like it was a walk in the park, and now he could barely walk. He was also the only other younger person there. I used to call those waiting-room talks “zappers anonymous”—not only with JoeV, as he was called by his friends whom I got to know after he passed away, but also with Dennis, Keith, Marvin and Doc. We all shared our “war stories.”

There was something therapeutic about it. Actually, one of JoeV’s friends, named Soshtain, started a surfing camp in his memory called JoeV Kosher Surf Camp.

I doubt it is still in existence, but it was open for at least one summer on some beach in Santa Monica, California.T Transportation was kind of tough. It was impossible for my father or mother to take me to Manhattan every day for six weeks. In stepped my friends and Chai Lifeline. Many of my treatments occurred during the Pesach bein hazmanim, when yeshivos typically have a break. That worked out well for me. My friends often offered to take me to the city for therapy. I actually remember a funny story that occurred while I was in the radiation waiting room with my friend Gamliel, who happens to be Sephardi. Upon noticing that my tzitzis were hanging out and my friend’s were not, a non-Jewish woman in the waiting room asked him “What’s up with your strings? Where are they?” He replied, in his comedic nature, “Oh, I’m a different type of Jew. I am Sephardic.” He expected her to look puzzled . Instead, with a look of shock and excitement on her face, she stood up and proclaimed aloud to all who were there, “OH, MY G-D. HE CAN EAT RICE ON PASSOVER!!!” She said it like she was teaching all those who were there the shitah of the Beis Yosef in Shulchan Aruch that one can eat rice on Pesach. Mit a bren. My friend

I used to call those waiting-room talks “zappers anonymous.”

We all shared our “war stories.” There was something therapeutic about it.

and I started laughing so hard that we had to leave the room because people were staring at us like we were crazy.

Other times, Chai Lifeline provided drivers for me. Kind volunteers would pick me up from my house and drive me, wait around in their car, and then drive me home. Of course, the volunteers all had their fair share of stories too.

One of my drivers also worked for the then-relatively unknown local WABC 770 radio host, Sean Hannity. Somehow the car service he worked for, which was owned by a frum Yid, became Hannity’s go-to transportation source around the city, and he loved this particular driver, Moshe, also a frum Yid from Kensington. From then on he would call Moshe when he needed a ride. Another driver I had was a brother of a cancer patient who wanted to give back to Chai Lifeline for all they did for his family during his brother’s final illness. Generally, the volunteer drivers were afraid to talk; they did not want to say the wrong thing. I appreciated, though, when they did open up to me and asked questions because, as I said earlier, it was therapeutic for me to talk about my illness. I was never one to shy away from a conversation about my situation, both then and now, and have experienced that people actually feel more comfortable when they can engage me in conversation.

Well, the first time I went for radiation on that Monday, March 12, after waiting for what seemed like an eternity, feeling all sorts of feelings and thinking all kinds of thoughts, I was interrupted by a voice on the intercom, botching my name and directing me to come through the door at Entrance #4. When I walked through the door, what I saw shocked me to the core.  To be continued...

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

213

Only Four Days with My Daughter WHEN SHE HANDED HER CHILD OVER TO THE NEW PARENTS, HER HEART WAS BROKEN

I

n the fall of 1967, I was a 22-year-old Ohioan woman working as a waitress and attending college in New York City, still weaving the dreams of my future. I knew I wanted to be a mother—a good mother, unlike the narcissistic one who had raised me and filled all the spaces of my growth with her own needs. I wanted to marry and build a family, but first I needed to heal from the traumas of my childhood and acquire the tools I needed to become a healthy, effective mother myself.

Before long, the first half of my dream materialized. I met Danny,* a 20-year-old secular Israeli music performer, and only six months later, we were already husband and wife. Unfortunately, I soon discovered— after the honeymoon bubble burst—that we weren’t really compatible after all. I quickly became aware that we were both bringing our respective dysfunctional upbringings into our marriage, and the results were not good.

I understood then that it would take time until we would be psychologically prepared and emotionally ready to bring children into our world.

I was the second child of three. Before I was even born, the eldest child in an accidental fire unwittingly caused by my mother. Thus, my mother—herself a product of an abusive home—handled me with special care during my infancy and early childhood. My sister’s birth, which followed quickly after mine, however, put an abrupt halt to her tender ministrations: My mother could only handle one child at a time.

214 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

The Focus Timeline AS TOLD TO SHIFFY FRIEDMAN

My mother’s narcissism taught me from an early age that I didn’t count for much in her life. Her behavior was a harsh teacher.

At two-and-a-half, I would spend hours outside our isolated country home, spending “quality time alone,” as my mother liked to call it, when she closed the door behind me and refused me entry.

My father suggested that I attend a prestigious boarding school in Pennsylvania when I was 15. In order to be admitted, I had to win the regional scholarship for five states, which I did. Being awarded such a distinction boosted my self-esteem, which was also nourished by my three-year-stay in what turned out to be both a supportive and a challenging environment.

After meeting Danny’s parents and spending time in their home, I realized that his childhood had been equally difficult. He was a man of few words when it came to discussing personal issues. We could talk about trivia and mundane matters with ease—the furniture, the sky and the trees, and we even wrote songs together—but we never came close to in-depth disclosure about our troubled family histories, respective traumas, or pressing needs.

When I discovered that I was pregnant several months after our wedding, Danny’s immediate reaction shocked me.

I felt a chill when he said, “I’m not ready to be a father, Robin.”

I knew that he was serious. When Danny made up his mind about something, he never backtracked or reconsidered. He was solid as a rock, indefatigably solid. And I...I was the weak, submissive product of an unstable childhood whose words carried no weight. I found it impossible to verbalize my desires and concerns to the man who was supposed to be my other half.

When Danny uttered those fateful words to me, I instinctively weighed my painful options: to be a single, inexperienced mother, and subject my child to a painful, fatherless life, or to give him or her up

for adoption so he or she would be raised by two loving, healthy parents in a secure family.

Oh, the agony! Which option should I choose?

At night, I tossed and turned in bed, agonizing over my quandary, while my husband slept peacefully, his decision final.

If I were to keep the child, I reasoned, three people would be miserable. But if I were to give it up, only I would suffer.

When this realization came to me, the verdict was clear.

I would give up the child.

What I didn’t understand then, in my tumult and grief, was that my suffering would never end. This decision wouldn’t be a one-shot deal that I would soon get over.

It would be my constant companion: a pain that would cleave to me forever.

And so it was that I submissively followed my husband to the private lawyer that my doctor had recommended.

“Find us a warm, loving family,” I said to him. “I want my child to be raised in the best possible environment.”

When he informed us that he was in touch with precisely the kind of family that I was looking for, his words were comforting.

“They’re an infertile Jewish couple,” he shared with us, “who already have two other adopted daughters. They’re friends of mine.

Anything else you want to know?”

They lived in Queens, we learned, and the father had a successful career as an engineer.

My relief knew no bounds when I realized that his description of the family fit my mental list to a T. I wanted only the very best for the child who would never know me, who would never know my love.

Because all adoptions at that time were closed, I knew that only for the four-day hospital stay would the child be mine. After that, I would have no ankling of my child’s geographic location or ultimate fate.

Indeed, after the birth, the lawyer made sure to remind me, “Don’t ever think of

1840.

Picture project.

Alexander Wolcott invents the first camera, making it possible for candid photos to be taken and not fade away with time.

2013.

Picture perfect.

Focus Camera carries the largest selection of point-and-shoot cameras and pro-grade lenses at prices worth smiling about.

www.focuscamera.com

895 Mcdonald Avenue

Brooklyn, New York 11218 STORE HOURS

Sun 10am-5:30pm Mon-Thu 9:30am-5:45pm Fri 9:30am-12:45pm

CUSTOMER SERVICE

718.431.7900

I was forced to accept that the child I’d borne might only remain a memory, her existence present only in my heart. looking for your child.” It was arranged that the adoptive parents would pay for the delivery and neonatal expenses; in turn we agreed that we would have nothing to do with our child from the moment we surrendered her.

The combination of my difficult upbringing and distant relationship with my aloof husband had created a pervasive numbness within me.

During my pregnancy, I had taken a job as a secretary, to keep my mind off the great loss that I would experience after the birth of my baby. Danny’s life, however, continued as usual while I struggled with my pain.

Unlike me, he did not appear to be traumatized in the least by our decision to give up our child. The papers were already signed, I

would chide myself when I felt my ambivalence and grief resurfacing. You’re doing the best for your child because you care about it, because you truly love it.

Like every expectant mother who nurtures her unborn child, I made sure to eat only healthful foods and to religiously swallowthe prenatal supplements that were prescribed to me. As the due date drew near, I mentally prepared myself to deliver the child another family was excitedly expecting.

Finally, I went into labor. When we arrived at the hospital at eight in the evening, the irony of the moment mocked me.

I was entering a ward that represented life, but I felt as though something inside of me was dying.

216 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

At 4:00 a.m., the baby was born: a girl—a beautiful, perfect child who looked very much like my father, whom I loved deeply.

She was the only baby I would ever give birth to.

When my daughter uttered her first cry, I beheld the miracle I’d nurtured, dry-eyed.

The next four days were a hellish nightmare.

Nothing in the world could have prepared me for the agony I experienced, for the excruciating pain that tore my heart into tiny shreds.

As was the protocol then, my baby was brought to me three times a day. I was filled with anxiety during those feeding times, although I tried hard not to let the baby feel it. I wanted to use those precious hours to let her know how dear she was to me, and to send her forth into the world with an already embedded sense of love and security.

I tried to be as loving as possible so that she wouldn’t sense my pain. I didn’t want her to suffer together with me. One broken soul was more than enough.

The time I spent with my daughter awakened in me a fierce desire to keep her. I had to constantly remind myself that it was impossible. The bassinet for my daughter, whom I had privately named “Popik” (the word for baby in Eskimo language, which I learned from a film I had seen), was already decorated in frilly pink ribbons and bows and sitting in a cozy home somewhere in Queens. She wasn’t mine. She would never be.

When the four-day hospital stay ended, I felt something inside of me wither. I forced myself to don my clothes, gathered my belongings, and apprehensively approached the hospital doors, cradling my innocent baby in my aching arm. I allowed myself to take a long last look at my child.

This was the most difficult moment. I bit my lips upon receiving congratulations from passersby.

“A girl!” one woman gushed. “I’ve always wanted a daughter.”

The Focus Timeline

How to explain that this was a parody she was watching, that I had just been given only a fleeting taste of a pleasure I would never know?

Danny opened the door so that I could step out into the winter air. Through moist eyes I observed the oblivion of the passersby on the sidewalk, ignorant of the drama taking place.

When the agent of the lawyer, who had been advised about the birth by my doctor approached us, I wanted to scream. I wanted to hold my daughter to my heart and run, run, run, to escape this horror.

She extended her arms, ready to accept.

It was time for me to give.

Ever so slowly, I lifted the child I had carried for nine months into the hands of a total stranger, my lips clamped shut, my heart heavy.

In my mind, I said, Good bye, my love.

Then I turned and walked away.

Empty of child, I headed to the subway with Danny, wondering how my rubbery legs are carrying me.

I was silent during the ride home, traumatized.

At home, I continued to mourn my child.

My sister, who came to stay with us for several days, was my anchor. Although she couldn’t fathom the degree of my agony, she comforted me in a way only a sister could.

My period of postpartum convalescence was difficult. There was no joy to help ameliorate my physical pain. I was healing from a birth that had brought me only heartache, desperately craving support from a cold husband whose mantra was “You’ll get over it.”

Soon after, in 1969, Danny and I took a four-month trip to Israel to visit his family.

With the exception of one brother and his wife, Danny’s entire family was unaware of our recent trauma. Surprisingly, Danny’s father, a photographer who seemed to possess psychic abilities, once said to me when I visited him in his photo studio, “What did you do with my grandchild?”

I was floored. “What grandchild?”

He said, “You had a child.”

“How do you know that?” I asked him.

“Because I dreamed it,” was his reply.

In the family, he was known to have this unusual gift.

Unbelievably, he became irrationally angry at me for not giving the child to his brother.

I never discussed this incident with Danny. Actually, we never discussed anything. As our marriage spiraled downward, I suggested that we go for help, but Danny was askance at this proposition. “Marriages either work or they don’t. You don’t work on them,” he said, ridiculing my last-ditch efforts to mend our relationship.

That was when I knew it was time to leave him.

Three years after our baby’s birth, I divorced Danny.

Several years later, I decided to spend Shabbos with a friend in Tzefat. On Motzaei Shabbos she asked me to join her at a klezmer concert in a local shul. When we arrived, the shul was already packed, so we watched from the window. My jaw dropped when I realized who the guitar player was: Danny. Laughing, I told my friend, “You are probably one of my only friends who is ever going to meet my ex-husband.”

Danny was very surprised to see me. We had met several times before, usually at concerts. He was married for the third time, and was now the father of three boys.

When another musician emerged from the shul, I complimented him on his music.

“You played very well,” I said.

“Very well?” Danny sneered, as if to say that the compliment wasn’t good enough.

I started to say, “I mean excellent, I mean…” but I stopped at once.

It wasn’t until that moment that I realized how Danny had manipulated me when we’d been together and how far I had come to greater self-confidence and self-reliance.

The cessation of our marriage spurred my travels. I stayed in New York for the next three years, where I ran a highly successful Romanian-Israeli restaurant in the Vil-

1960.

Cutting board.

Carl G. Sontheimer reinvents the Le Magi-Mix food processor, allowing housewives to prepare new culinary wonders.

2013.

Cutting edge.

Focus Camera serves up the finest in housewares from processors and blenders to kitchenware and culinary staple tools.

www.focuscamera.com

895 Mcdonald Avenue

Brooklyn, New York 11218 STORE HOURS

Sun 10am-5:30pm Mon-Thu 9:30am-5:45pm Fri 9:30am-12:45pm

CUSTOMER SERVICE

718.431.7900

lage, but when the intenseness got to me, I decided to relocate to Florida. Before long, I was living in Montana, where I became a columnist, an editor and worked on a boat.

Finally, I moved to California to study healing.

During this span of twenty years, I thought of my daughter often, especially on her birthday. My longing to know her never waned. When she turned one, I wondered if she was already walking. When she turned two, I wondered if she was talking. And when she was six, I hoped she was making friends. Wishing that somehow she would get the message, I talked to her out loud, in something akin to a meditation. It was the only way that I felt I could reach her.

“Popik,” I would say to her, “do you know how much I love you?” On her eleventh birthday, I wrote her a poem wishing her a wonderful life surrounded by love and support. I tried to fill my life with happiness by connecting to the people around me, but nobody could take the place of the child I sorely missed.

In January of 1989, while living in San Francisco, I had to undergo gum surgery, and a friend offered to pick me up after the procedure and drive me home. On our way back, we stopped at a store to rent some videos. “You’ll need them while you’re lying on the couch recuperating,” she said kindly.

I don’t remember the contents of those films anymore, except for the last one.

Entitled King David, the Italian-filmed video—although not historically accurate— contained enough footage of the Jewish state to make me feel nostalgic for Israel.

Suddenly, I heard myself vow to visit the country soon. “This year!” I promised.

One week later, I spoke with the owner of a company that recorded international medical conferences, someone who had used my secretarial services in the past.

“Would you be willing to go to Israel on a job?” he asked me.

“Of course!” I said, without asking for any details.

He sent me to Jerusalem, where my partner and I worked an total of six days during our six-week stay.

On Lag Ba’Omer, I met Yitzhak and Tamar Attias, who invited me for Shabbos to their home in the Old City. When I showed up at their door, I was welcomed with much warmth and acceptance despite the fact that I was wearing pants! The joy and beautiful singing that night, as well as the holy atmosphere, made me realize that this was where I needed to be. I would become religious and learn and live in the Jewish Quarter. I would live surrounded by this profound history!

As we walked to the exit, Dave said quietly to me, “Thank you for not killing her.”

According to the plans made long before by the company’s travel agent, I was supposed to travel from Israel to Florence on Shabbos to finish my work there. On the plane, the flight attendants served hamand-cheese sandwiches. I was close to tears throughout the flight.

After wrapping up my duties and dropping off my transcription equipment at my company’s base in California, I returned to Israel. I attended seminary for a year and then set up my apartment. After I made aliyah, I established my practice as a massage therapist and began my new life. After so many years of settling and resettling, this felt right: This was home.

But no matter where I was in the world, my daughter was always on my mind.

218 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

Sometimes, if I’d think about my fate for too long, I’d start to wonder, “How is it that a person who can’t stand to misplace anything—not even an earring—was able to leave behind her most precious daughter?”

I had been warned to never attempt to look for her, but times had changed.

When I knew that she was turning twenty, a friend suggested that I write her a letter.

“Why?” I asked.

“So that she can know that you wanted her,” he replied.

“Well, of course I wanted her,” I thought.

“Oh, wait—I gave her away, didn’t I?” So I called the lawyer, whose name I thankfully remembered, and asked him if I could write to her. He said that he would deliver the letter for me.

Wow! I might actually be able to reach my daughter! I was ecstatic. But when I began to think about what I’d write, I didn’t know how to begin. First of all, I had no idea whether or not she knew that she was adopted. When I called the lawyer to inquire, he suddenly told me that he no longer knew where the family lived. This sounded a bit suspicious to me, since I knew that they were close personal friends.

When he realized that I was truly serious about getting in touch with my daughter, his manner abruptly changed. From that time onward, he became evasive and no longer responded to or returned my phone calls.

Attempts to find her through other channels were also fruitless. I became very discouraged.

Once again, I was forced to accept that the child I’d borne might only remain a memory, her existence present only in my heart.

It would take many years for this harsh reality to magically change, practically overnight.

Several months ago, I received an invitation to participate in the fiftieth reunion of my class at the boarding school I had attended in Pennsylvania. I didn’t want to miss this. Since I hadn’t been back to the States for more than sixteen years, I began

The Focus Timeline

to think that perhaps this was an opportune time for me to try once again to find my daughter. I thought it would be miraculous if I could finally meet her. Would this be possible?

I had previously contacted an online network that helps connect birthparents with adoptees. A flurry of activity ensued. Thirty people received my e-mails. They recorded all the details I had, and then they asked me for her name.

Of course, I didn’t know the answer.

The only name I had ever used for my daughter was Popik, and only Danny and I knew that.

“If you don’t have a name we can’t help you,” I was told.

This made no sense to me. How could I know her name if I’d given her up in a closed adoption?

This time, I felt I’d reached an impasse.

But I wouldn’t give up. I had to find her!

I called a friend’s daughter, a lawyer who employs a detective.

“Can you please help me?” I pleaded.

“We’ll see what we can do,” she said.

In the end, she helped me pro bono.

It was a blow for me to learn a short while later that the detective had found the lawyer who’d arranged the adoption for us fortyfour years before. He was now living in an old-age home, stricken with Alzheimer’s disease, his memory completely gone. And… his family had thrown out all his files as well. “Dead end,” I thought.

But the mother within me still wouldn’t give up, because even as I was saying these words, I walked over to my refrigerator and read the words on a card I had been given a year and a half before by Leah, a friend and work colleague. It read: “Pam Slaton, search specialist.”

When Leah had handed the card to me, she had said, “Why don’t you try her? Pam is an adoptee who searched for and found her own birthparents. After her difficult search but ultimate success, she launched this career to help other people in similar

straits.”

I checked Pamela’s credentials online and was impressed. So I decided to give my search one more try, and I contacted her.

I was heartened to hear that she’d already reunited thousands of parents and children.

She informed me of her payment policy: no-find no-fee, but if she would locate my daughter, I’d have to pay $2,500 to receive the information that would lead me to her.

During our negotiations, I didn’t actually possess that sum. But I assumed that even if she were successful, she surely wouldn’t find her overnight.

To my utter amazement, I got an e-mail from Pamela only three days later, on a Friday. The message that marked the start of a new life for me read: Congrats! Search is completed. Please send the money to… and then we’ll talk about how to make contact.”

I was overjoyed. The words “make contact” clearly suggested that my daughter was still alive!

But I didn’t have the money!

Suddenly, the technicalities no longer mattered.

Somewhere in this world, I had a fortyfour-year-old daughter.

She was a real person, not just a figment of my imagination.

And I was a hairsbreadth away from fulfilling my lifelong dream.

Because I received the e-mail on Erev Shabbos, I was able to share the news with very few people. But everyone who heard reacted with genuine surprise and joy.

Danny himself was quite surprised when I informed him of this momentous event. I asked if he could pay half of the sum. He replied that he would if he could, but he couldn’t. His brother confirmed his financial situation. But in the end, he made a small donation. Symbolically, that was very important to me.

On Motzaei Shabbos, Sharon, my friend and Shabbos lunch hostess, called to tell me that she’d gladly contribute $1,000 toward this cause. Her kind gesture warmed my

1709.

State of play.

Bartolomeo Cristofori of Padua invents the pianoforte, later referred to as the piano, taking musicianship to new heights and sounds.

2013.

State of the art.

Focus Camera plays a major chord with music lovers of all ages, showcasing the most advanced musical instruments in the industry.

www.focuscamera.com

895 Mcdonald Avenue

Brooklyn, New York 11218 STORE HOURS

Sun 10am-5:30pm Mon-Thu 9:30am-5:45pm Fri 9:30am-12:45pm

CUSTOMER SERVICE

718.431.7900

heart. It helped me realize that my friends really cared, that I wasn’t alone, and that this reunion would actually happen.

My sister donated another $1,000, and paid the entire sum directly to Pam in the States.

As I was gathering the necessary funds, some skeptics asked me how I could trust a stranger with so much money. I have no choice, I said. I have to follow this lead. If I don’t, and I lose this opportunity, how will I ever forgive myself?

We were still short $500. But over the next few days, through the kindness of dear friends and my own money, we reached the goal, a feat that almost seemed harder than the actual search process.

Trembling from suspense and anxiety, I finally called Pamela, only to learn that she was out sick.

When she returned to her office, we discussed strategy. She had my daughter’s address, but no phone number.

Our first option—to contact my daughter’s adoptive father—was potentially risky.

There was a chance that Pamela’s conversation with him would turn into an adversarial situation if he was against the reunion.

Still, Pamela decided to go for it.

“Hi, this is Pamela,” she said to him. “I’m looking for Barbara.* It’s been a long time since I’ve been in touch with her and I just can’t find her phone number.”

He gave her the phone number without hesitation. She commented that he seemed like he was a kind man. That was encouraging.

That night, Pamela placed the fateful call.

First, she gingerly asked Barbara if she knew that she was adopted.

“Yes,” she said.

Then Pamela gently divulged the reason for her call: her birth mother wished to contact her.

Barbara’s reaction was positive. Although she was a bit surprised, she remained composed.

When asked if she would be interested in a meeting, Barbara said that she would first

I decided to speak from my heart have to discuss this with her husband, and maybe her father, too.

After the phone call ended, Pamela repeated the conversation to me and my heart swelled with pride to learn that my daughter was a happily-married mother and teacher, whose childhood had been blissful and filled with joy. Sadly, Barbara’s adoptive mother had died four years earlier.

Over the weekend, I waited anxiously to hear from Pamela: Would I finally get the long-awaited chance to meet my daughter?

Oh, how I wished for this moment to come!

I knew it would be challenging, after fortyfour years of separation, but there was no doubt that I wanted this more than anything else. But would my daughter feel the same?

After an emotionally taxing Shabbos, I finally got the call that I’d been waiting for.

“She wants to meet!” Pamela cried.

My heart started skipping beats. I felt both relief and tension. How would the reunion go?

So many feelings had been bottled up for over four decades!

220 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

How life could turn on a dime! It was only ten days after my initial phone call to Pamela. Now I was dialing a different number, one belonging to my long-lost daughter!

How do you talk to your child with whom you’ve only communicated in your heart?

How do you talk to your child, for whom you feel a very intimate connection, but who actually is, in fact, a total stranger?

Our first conversation was short and pleasant, although a bit tentative. I expressed my commiseration that this couldn’t be easy for her.

“No, it isn’t,” she replied.

I assured her that there was no rush, that this would take time. We discussed our upcoming meeting.

I was relieved to hear that Barbara was currently living not far from a city already on my itinerary. I had planned my two-week trip to the US with much precision, calculating every stop. First, I planned to attend the class reunion in Pennsylvania, and from there I would travel to spend Shavuos with

The Focus Timeline

my close friends, Deborah and her husband.

I would fly to Los Angeles to spend Shabbos with my friend, then visit my sister whom I hadn’t seen in thirteen years, and conclude my trip in Oregon.

I was left with a perfect one-day slot— coincidentally, the day after Mother’s Day— to reunite with my daughter who I hadn’t seen since the morning I had reluctantly given her up.

We met in a Starbucks on a warm spring afternoon: Barbara with her husband Dave,* and I, accompanied by Deborah, my dear friend of over twenty years. She had walked every step of this process with me. She had also made a substantial financial contribution in order to make this miracle happen.

I held on tight to Deborah’s arm in order to steady myself. I blinked hard when I saw the couple sitting at the table at the far side of the room.

There she was, my grown-up daughter!

We approached their table, my heart fluttering, but my outward demeanor composed.

“She looks like you!” Dave exclaimed, his eyes warm with kindness.

The first question pressing Barbara and Dave, probably the same question haunting every single adopted child in the world, was: Why? Why had I given her away? Although I had already been given advice by a number of friends about what to say and what not to say, I decided to speak from my heart.

I told the truth. I told her how difficult it had been, and that it had been done only because my husband had insisted.

“I loved you,” I paused for a moment, suddenly realizing that this was my daughter that I was talking to. “And I loved you too much to put you through the ordeal of growing up with a single mother.” Barbara listened silently, still trying to absorb the shocking news that had changed her life so dramatically only ten days before.

Dave wiped away tears continuously as we spoke. His warm personality gave me such nachas.

We talked for two and a half hours, learn-

ing about the divergent paths our lives had taken following my actions that wrenching morning. According to Barbara’s description of her adoptive family, I realized that everything the lawyer had told us about them years before was true.

The joy!

After meeting Barbara and her loving husband, the agony I had felt for so many years began to ease.

I found that we were similar, my daughter and I: We had both chosen professions in the field of special education, our mothers had both died when we were forty and we do indeed share a strong physical resemblance.

As always, Deborah was my angel, filling in details I forgot to mention: How I always missed my daughter, how I thought of her constantly, especially on her birthdays, and how she had a special place in my heart.

As we walked to the exit, Dave said quietly to me, “Thank you for not killing her.”

This shocked me, but helped reaffirm that my decision to have my child had been the correct one.

Before we parted, promising to keep in touch, I presented my gift to Barbara.

In a leather change purse I had laid a malachite heart pendant that I had purchased years before when I still lived in San Francisco. Right before I’d left for my trip to the US, I had stumbled upon it and realized that one of the heart’s wings had been broken and mended.

No gift in the world could have been more appropriate.

It’ll take time—lots of time, if at all—to form the bond I hope to build, but right now, my heart is filled with joy. The absent mother in me is healing, one day at a time.

1877.

Record keeping.

Thomas Edison invents the phonograph, known today as the record player, bringing music and other recordings to the masses.

2013.

Record breaking.

Focus Camera continues to be the first to introduce the latest MP3 players, recording equipment and home stereo systems.

•

* names changed to protect privacy.

To submit your story for this column or to have your story featured here, please contact us at submissions@amimagazine.org.

www.focuscamera.com

895 Mcdonald Avenue

Brooklyn, New York 11218 STORE HOURS

Sun 10am-5:30pm Mon-Thu 9:30am-5:45pm Fri 9:30am-12:45pm

CUSTOMER SERVICE

718.431.7900

Deposing the “Shah!”

MAINTAINING CIVILITY IN THE QUEST FOR SANCTITY

E

very year during Sukkos, I brace myself for the p’shatim my children or grandchildren will say about the lulav, esrog, hadassim and aravos. They will tell me how each species represents a different organ or body part—spine, heart, eyes, lips—or how each item’s taste and fragrance represent a different type of Jew: the pure tzaddik complete with mitzvos and Torah knowledge; the person who has good deeds, but lacks Torah; the person with wisdom, but without good deeds; and of course, the person with neither good deeds nor Torah learning. And then the inevitable: “We tie them all together because we all need each other and we are all bound together: The heart needs the eyes, the spine needs the lips, the tzaddik needs the rasha, the rasha needs the tzaddik and we are all one, and so forth.”

Invariably what comes to mind—but I never say it out loud—is the quote ostensibly from Freud, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” Isn’t an esrog ever only an esrog?

Can’t we ever do a mitzvah without thinking of all the symbolic over- and undertones?

I think not.

Although every mitzvah is performed because that is the will of the Creator, I truly believe that if we don’t walk away with something more than just the shake with the four minim, we may have fulfilled a mitzvah, but we have not internalized it.

It’s all nice in theory, and for the big picture. But does it play out in our little circle as well?

On Erev Rosh Hashanah I was waiting in line for the mikvah. In the Woodmere Mikvah, there are several rooms, each of different sizes, and there is a long corridor that leads to the rooms. Each person or

family gets a room before proceeding, and a line of men and boys extended from the hall to the backyard of the mikvah. I was standing with my boys outside the mikvah and noticed a fellow in front of me who seemed very agitated. He seemed like a nice fellow, in casual dress, wearing a polo shirt and jeans. He did not look like the every-Friday-mikvah type, let alone the every-day-mikvah type. I could not help but notice how extremely perturbed he looked. It could not be that going to the mikvah was such a nerve-wracking experience. He kept shaking his head and fidgeting as if he were either in excruciating pain or in the middle of a moral dilemma.

I asked him if there was a problem, and indeed there was. I guess because I am a rabbi he felt comfortable venting to me.

Mr. Perturbed pointed to a man in front of him. The man was talking on his cell phone, oblivious to this man’s consternation. “Here I am getting ready to immerse myself in the mikvah and my thoughts are all discombobulated, because I can’t concentrate while he’s yapping on the phone.”

Had I not stepped in, I think he would have slugged the guy on the phone.

I am not on the spiritual level where I have a deep meditation while waiting in line for a private shower room and bathroom in the beautifully appointed Woodmere Mikvah. I confess that unfortunately, I was not preparing myself for the spirituality of mikvah immersion—I was just wondering if there would be any shampoo left.

I stopped Mr. Perturbed with the following question. “Were you listening to his conversation?” The man shook his head adamantly in holy denial.

“So, let me tell you a story,” I continued.

“There was a fellow whose child had a life-

222 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

threatening illness. He tried every doctor in New York and was told there was only one doctor—in North Carolina—who could cure his child. The man was told that the only way to get an appointment with this eccentric doctor was to speak to him directly and tell him your story. If you can’t reach him you have to leave him a message and he calls you back within five hours. He will only call back twice, and if you don’t pick up his calls, you’ve got to start all over again. Well, this doctor’s phone was busy and busy and busy until finally, on Friday afternoon, this man was able to leave a message for the doctor about two hours before Shabbos.

His rav told him that he was permitted to be mechalel Shabbos to speak to this doctor when he calls.

“His cell phone rings in the middle of Kabbalas Shabbos, so he walks out of shul while talking on the phone, afraid that he will miss his opportunity. Meanwhile, everyone in shul is giving him dirty looks.

“Let’s bring it down a notch. Let’s say the man on the phone here is desperate for a loan. The bank is about to foreclose on his home, and a fellow is ready to lend him the money on Erev Rosh Hashanah, but he has to explain the situation. Or, what if this fellow, who did not make it home yet, wants to shmooze with his wife so that he can come into Yom Tov with both mikvah and shalom bayis?

“Are you not ready to give up a bit of your spirituality to help the man with his child, his parnassah, and his shalom bayis?”

I asked.

The fellow returned to the line with a different perspective. The chatting on the phone had now become a child’s lifeline or perhaps the saving of parnassah or a marriage. And who knows? Maybe it was.

RABBI MORDECHAI KAMENETZKY

Like a vulture waiting to swoop down a man bore down on the rav and me. “Can’t you see the chupah is starting? Can’t you two just keep quiet?” he bellowed.

We live in a culture of reckless “shushkivin,” and self-immersion that breeds intolerance. We live in a little box where only the noises we are programmed and ready to hear at certain times are acceptable, and all others are taboo. Somehow we can’t seem to tolerate the binding of the other species to our esrog or even to our hadassim. We can’t really take someone into our sukkah or dance with him in a circle if he is singing off key. It manifests itself more often in shul than in mikvah lines, but I personally have felt the brunt of the shushkevers’ rage in many other venues as well.

Whenever I have a wedding to attend, I always assume I will meet a rav, rosh yeshivah or poseik, and so I prepare a question on a Gemara, a sh’eilah in Halachah

or something in drush—just in case I get stuck in the elevator with one of the aforementioned.

At a wedding this past summer, I happened to have been seated next to one of the leading poskim in the Tri-state area, and I just happened to have had a halachic question about micro-ground coffee that I wanted to discuss. It was before the chupah and everyone in the room was shmoozing. I turned to the poseik, asked him my question and we entered into a wonderful discussion, a very enlightening one. And then suddenly, without warning, the music began. The chupah was about to begin.

I was in the middle of a sentence, so I finished that sentence, and perhaps I even began another one, albeit in a whisper-

ing tone. Like a vulture waiting to swoop down on its prey and then show it off to all its friends, a burly man from two rows back bore down on the rav and me. “Can’t you see the chupah is starting? Can’t you two just keep quiet?” he bellowed.

I was shocked at his thunder. (I did not ask the poseik if I should make the brachah “She’kocho U’gevuraso...”) I apologized to the rav for having put him in such an embarrassing situation, and scampered off to a corner where a couple of fellows were talking about the Yankees’ pennant chances, unscathed by the burly “Shah!”meister who may also have had an interest in the sports news of the day.

I can’t imagine what the screamer was thinking. Did he know whether I was asking a life-or-death question? No one had even walked down the aisle toward the chupah yet! I reflected on so many “Shah!”s I may have meted out, or which I have been witness to in my life. Does a fellow who shushkeves ever make an exception for his crusade for decorum when his grandchildren ask him a question in the middle of davening? Does the vehemence for one interrupting a great Carlebach niggun during Lecha Dodi get the same “Shah!” as a comment made at the end of a long haftarah? Or even during Birkas Krias Shema?

Why do some of us love the charge of Goarin Bo, and the Shulchan Aruch’s command to rebuke one who talks during chazaras hashatz, “for his sin is too great to bear,” only for this particular transgression, and with a passion I rarely see reserved for any other egregious transgression—even those indiscretions where the very same term Goarin Bo is used, like ripping kriah improperly or not saying the words “Baruch Sheim” correctly? It seems that many of the deputized decorum squads have overstepped the bounds of midos tovos and tact in their first resort pursuit of justice. They perform the job with the zeal of klopping “Haman!”—not with the tepidness of eating marror or the

11 TISHREI 5774 // SEPTEMBER 15, 2013 // AMI MAGAZINE

223

The line quoted from the Alter is, in effect, “Indeed,Yaakov had a right to hide Dinah in a box. The problem was that he slammed the lid too hard.” delicateness of shiluach ha’kein.

Chazal tell us that after we destroy the Ir Hanidachas, “...Hashem will give you mercy and be merciful to you” (Devarim 13:18). The Ohr Hachayim explains that when people engage in behavior that is inherently nasty, even if it is for the good, they tend to maintain that nature even in regular life. Thus the Torah needs to bless those who destroy the Ir Hanidachas with an extra measure of mercy and kindness, so that they will still retain their original sense of kindness and mercy, despite their destruction of the Ir Hanidachas.

I have seen the “Shah!” (and the “Nu! Nu!”) in shul transform into personal vendettas and anger, and I am not sure if either one of the two evils is worth it. I have seen simple Jews quietly asking their neighbors where a haftarah could be found, and are vilified with a smug “Nu, Nu!” The single request is transformed into a culture of intolerance, where some would rather focus on the next fellow’s emissions than their own omissions. Watching others and becoming all riled up can truly harm one’s own growth and spirituality as well.

It seems there are those who choose certain tefillos to have their hawk eyes ready to pounce on others who may not be as attentive as they are to the name of the sick person. Yet the “Amein, yehei Shmei rabbah” part was not high on his priority list.

I will never justify prattle in a beis hak-

nesses, and somehow Hummel-figurine eyes that plead “es pahst nit” work better to quash a talker, rather than a self-righteous shout that can be heard across the room.

But that may just be my personality. Even to the very well-meaning vigilante, I argue for honesty and consistency, and a feeling of trying to understand what is going on— before pouncing.

If people would comprehend where they really are, and to Whom they are praying, shuls would be quieter. But the constant tug of war—between members of the congregation and the hapless (often helpless) rav who is trying to maintain a sense of decorum—muddles the bigger picture.

Of course the rav has every right and responsibility to give mussar and maintain the peace. And I don’t direct my comments to him. But I always wonder: Out of hundreds of items on the rabbi’s list of things that need fixing, why does only that particular item of mussar become the rallying point for individual congregants to enlist as the rabbi’s army, that they take as their personal responsibility and make sure that they publicly join forces in a most vocal manner?

There have been so many innovations in klal Yisrael, produced with wisdom and excitement, in a manner that was inclusive and dynamic. I am sure that helping turn our shuls into sanctuaries of sanctity can

224 A M I M A G A Z I N E / / S E P T E M B E R 1 5 , 2 0 1 3 / / 1 1 T I S H R E I 5 7 7 4

be done in that manner too. I am also sure that the civility and gentle manner and culture of asking others to “tone it down” will carry over into other venues as well, even the mikvah, wedding hall and auditorium.

There is a famous line from the Alter of Slabodka, regarding Yaakov being punished for hiding Dinah in a box to prevent Esav from spotting her and asking for her hand in marriage. The question is asked, “What did Yaakov do wrong? Who would allow his daughter to marry an Esav?”

The line quoted from the Alter is, in effect, “Indeed, Yaakov had a right to hide Dinah in a box. The problem was that he slammed the lid too hard.” Maybe when we make campaigns out of mitzvos, we make “teams” and “movements” and we take sides and we invariably slam the lid a bit too hard.

Sukkos is a time when we hold all the minim together just to get to know each other, all Jews bound together: the talker next to the intense one, and the am haaretz next to the talmid chacham. We move outside our sheltered four walls to experience a bit of the outside, where everyone is almost equally sheltered. We move outside the box of our concrete and very protective walls, while we live in a less protective and more exposed box. It’s a box where we can hear the sounds of others and try to let them hear our voices—subtly, softly, and surreptitiously.

Indeed, when we enter that box—the sukkah—we need to think outside it as well.  Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky is the rosh yeshivah of Yeshiva Toras Chaim at South Shore, a weekly columnist in Yated Ne’eman, and the author of the Parsha Parable series. He can share your story through the “Streets of Life,” and can be reached at editorial@amimagazine.org.

‫בס"ד‬

A Smart Look.

Envision is Brooklyn's exclusive retailer of the complete Dita Eyewear Collection. With a modern showroom, a wide selection of stylish designer eyeglasses and world-class customer service.

Visit Envision to get the look that says it all.

505 Flushing Ave • 718.522.3332 Sun. 12:00 - 8:00 / Mon. - Thu. 11:30 -8:00 / Fri. Till 1:30

NEW IN TIME FOR YOM TOV! From Ami’s Editors

YOUR S FRee!

Leah Schapira & Victoria Dwek

A GIFT FROM AMI TO YOU

sign up now and get it

i

The Ami Monthly Plan now just $14.99*

LONDON

jews and muslims work for the common good

cook the SeaSonS: the gemS in Shaindy’S Pomegranate Bark

MiriaM Pascal’s easy strawberry rhubarb blondies, Pb&j cruMb bars, and More!

june 5, 2013 / 27 sivan 5773 issue 122

deFenSe aTTorney

BENJAMIN BRAFMAN

Issue 96 NOVeMBeR 28, 2012 14 KIsLeV, 5773

on The

zimmerman verdicT

Saved by a Miracle

race relaTionS and more EXCLUSIVE INTERVIEW

ISSUE 128 JULY 17, 2013 10 AV 5773

ami128_cover.indd 1

issue 122 june 5, 2013 27 sivan 5773

What’s Behind Supermarket Design

Miriam Pascal’s

a TraumaTic overSeaS FlighT

The pain oF The Shidduch proceSS

When doeS governmenT Spying STop?

The Baal Shem Tov and BankrupTcy

7/15/13 2:36 PM

Strawberry Rhubarb Bars and more bars to bake in minutes

liv122_whisk_cover.indd 1

liv122_cover.v01.indd 1

arancini BaLLS & Much More!

>>> Rebbetzin Feige tweRski your hands tell your story >>> the Clean bill will the doctor regrow dovid’s toes? >>> tRuth oR ConsequenCes she needs the courage to end an unhealthy relationshiP >>> ouR Days rebbetzin ettil soloveitchik’s sons reMeMber their Mother >>> was she dooMed as a balabuste? >>> supeRmaRket Design why is it iMPossible to stick to our shoPPing lists? >>> FooD CuRRents Foods with hidden sugar

food currents: my compote always boils over

$4.99 out of ny/nj $5.50 CAtSKILLS $5.49 CAnAdA $6.00 uK £3.99 europe €5.50 ISrAeL nIS 14.90

Chanukah!

Leah Schapira’S

Charlene aminoff’s life-Changing story

aTTorney alperSTein reFlecTS on The BalTimore Shomrim caSe

Miriam pascal’s

Funnel Cakes and Fudge

5/30/13 5:51 PM

5/30/13 6:54 PM

CALL NOW • 718.534.8800 • info@amimagazine.org * Out of NY/NJ $16.99 • Yearly (NY/NJ) $175 Out of NY/NJ $195 • While supplies last. New subscribers only. With 6-month commitment.

S haul Greenwald . Yoel Zagelbaum . David Berney From the simplest residential transaction to the most intricate commercial investment, Riverside Abstract is your full service, multi-state title agency with the team, the tools, and the valuable know-how to guarantee a successful closing.

A title insurAnce Agency

Better Staff. Better Service. Better Results. A Better Way to Close!

3839 FlAtlAndS Ave Suite 208 BRooklyn, ny 11234

1430 BRoAdwAy Suite 1303 new yoRk, ny 10018

212 Second St Suite 502 lAkewood, nJ 08701

877.848.5317 www.rsabstract.com