American Literary Magazine
manic pixie nightmare Olivia Wenke Content Warning: eating disorders, depression, anxiety, PTSD Artist Statement: this is a commentary on the manic pixie dream girl trope and romanticism of mental illness in movies. the manic pixie dream girl is generally a beautiful, fun, eccentric woman who is the love interest of an average, sometimes cynical or brooding male protagonist. they lack any substance beyond helping the protagonist find their purpose in life or teaching them how to have fun. they often exhibit symptoms of mental illness that are either never addressed or treated as something that makes them more attractive and “quirky”.
mentally ill but the fun kind impulsivity and eating disorders catch me next time i relapse i’ll be everything you want me to be radiating charm and spontaneity dressed in clothes i bought at 4:00am because that is what will make you love me mentally ill but the fun kind disorganized attachment style will do anything you want kind never met a girl like me before say one right thing and i am yours you have never felt this loved who knew someone could be so giving moments with you always remind me why life is worth living it feels like we are in a movie until it doesn’t… mentally ill but it’s not fun anymore laundry list of diagnoses anxiety, depression, ptsd, and eating disorders spent 200 dollars on a gym membership you don’t have the energy to use say one wrong thing and i know you will ruminate for a week have to watch my tone when we speak if it is too harsh you will cry or i’ll see the fear in your eyes as if this little disagreement is a threat to your life
mentally ill but it’s not fun anymore overpowered by the eating disorder watch a tear fall down your face as you stare at your plate i pretend not to notice run my fingers through your hair try to ignore all the shedding you joke and say it’s just because it’s long we are at a party and i hear you vomit in the bathroom you say you just drank too much i believe you but now i worry it hit you so hard because you didn’t eat enough my manic pixie nightmare this is what they don’t show you in the movies
94
