Amsterdam Weekly: Vol 5, Issue 20, 22-28 May 2008

Volume 5, Issue 20

22 - 28 MAY 2008 An unbalancing act

‘…the mind of a mass murderer…’ page 11

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The Unhealthy Issue

I don’t feel so good page 6 Diet tips from junkies page 4 A snack food pioneer is dead page 5 FILM: East Side Story p. 11 / Bloodless but scary p. 18 / SEX: Missionary sickness p. 19 / FOOD: Having a McDay p. 17

Short List . . . . . . . . . . . . .9 Music/Clubs . . . . . . . . . .13 Gay & Lesbian . . . . . . . .14 Stage/Events . . . . . . . . .14 Art . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .15 Glutton . . . . . . . . . . . . . .17 Film . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .18 Ladywood . . . . . . . . . . .19 Classifieds/Comics . . . .21

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Amsterdam Weekly

CITY SECOND BY PETER CLEUTJENS In this issue and...

An unhealthy body... An unhealthy mind... An unhealthy balance... An unhealthy state of affairs... An unhealthy dose of reality... An unhealthy attitude...

An unhealthy economy... An unhealthy bank account... An unhealthy habit...

An unhealthy lifestyle... An unhealthy sheen... An unhealthy looking corpse...

An unhealthy diet... An unhealthy loss... An unhealthy meal... An unhealthy kick to the balls... An unhealthy view... An unhealthy all-sugar snack...

An unhealthy political arena... An unhealthy weight... An unhealthy night out... An unhealthy round of drinks...

An unhealthy sized burger... An unhealthy historical perspective... An unhealthy diagnostic system... An unhealthy apology... An unhealthy disadvantage... An unhealthy alternative...

Yes, that’s it. An unhealthy alternative. Always good. And why does unhealthiness get such a bad rap?

After all, you can’t have health without it! And do remember: it’s all about unbalance.

On the cover EEEEWWWW....

Photo by Denis Koval www.deniskoval.nl

Next week Festivals

Letters Got an opinion? We want to hear it. inbox@amsterdamweekly.nl

Amsterdam Weekly BV De Ruyterkade 106, 1011 AB Amsterdam Tel: 020 522 5200 Fax: 020 620 1666 www.amsterdamweekly.nl General info: info@amsterdamweekly.nl Agenda listings: agenda@amsterdamweekly.nl Advertising: sales@amsterdamweekly.nl Classifieds: classifieds@amsterdamweekly.nl PUBLISHER Todd Savage EDITOR Steve Korver ASSISTANT EDITOR Nina Siegal AGENDA EDITOR Steven McCarron FILM EDITOR Julie Phillips COPY EDITOR Mark Wedin EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Sarah Gehrke EDITORIAL INTERNS Sulakshana Gupta, Robin Kawakami ART DIRECTOR Bas Morsch PRODUCTION MANAGER Karen Willey PRODUCTION DESIGNER Russell Joyce PRODUCTION INTERN Denis Koval SENIOR ACCOUNT MANAGER Carolina Salazar ACCOUNT MANAGERS Marc Devèze, Simone Klomp, Floortje Mennen FINANCE ASSISTANT Simone Choi DISTRIBUTION MANAGER Patrick van der Klugt MARKETING ASSISTANT Anna Bandurska MARKETING INTERN Kate Hutchinson FINANCIAL ADVISER Kurt Schmidt (Veresis Consulting) PRINTER Corelio Printing Amsterdam Weekly is published every week on Wednesday and is available free at locations all over Amsterdam. Subscriptions are available for €60 per six months within the Netherlands and €90 per six months within Europe. Agenda submissions are welcome, at least two weeks in advance. New contributors are invited to visit Amsterdam Weekly’s website for contributor guidelines. Contents of Amsterdam Weekly (ISSN 1872-3268) are copyright 2008 Amsterdam Weekly BV. All rights reserved.

18/05/2008 - 17:59 - NIEUWMARKT

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AROUND TOWN Junkie nutrition It ain’t all just veins and vla!

As you may have read, this roving reporter broke his jaw, thereby restricting his diet to liquid food like soup and, that typical Dutch delicacy, vla, in quantities previously unknown to mankind. Amsterdam Weekly, always prepared to put a salty finger on the sore spot, thought it to be the perfect state of general misery to send me out on an assignment, researching the eating habits of drug addicts. As all Amsterdammers know, or suspect, junkies don’t particularly give full attention to the nutritional side of living, as they have far better things to do: like being high as a kite.

For Marcel (43), who prefers not to reveal his last name, the question comes down to: ‘What’s it like to be addicted to freebasing cocaine, and how does it affect one’s culinary escapades?’ Marcel is a tall, skinny dude with beaming eyes whose general appearance wouldn’t get him a job in international banking. Bony hands keep wandering off by themselves. His voice gasps at times, and changes volume in an almost theatrical way. A large hat conceals most of his receding hair. (Come to think of it, that could also be a description of me: together, Marcel and I could make one complete set of teeth.)

The fact remains that Marcel is an eloquent chap who chooses his words carefully. ‘I was seriously addicted to coke for about four years, from 1984 to 1988. At first it was all pretty containable for me, until I started freebasing, for say, the last six months. That is like... nothing you’ve ever experienced before. You feel on top of the world, your mind is crystal clear. At the same time, your will power has reduced to nothing. Not to mention the fact that as soon as the effect takes place, you’re already thinking about the next hit.

The freebase itself doesn’t affect you. But it triggers the production of a substance in your brain stem that makes you feel that way. And the body needs calcium to do that trick. If it can’t find enough in your food, it will subtract the necessary quantities from other sources, basically your teeth and bones. You essentially eat yourself. To place calcium back where it’s gone can take up to three years. You do the math.’

‘Besides, I didn’t eat every day. Lack of funding is one reason. Plus I had a girlfriend; we were going down together. She couldn’t eat meat—not even stock—so we both didn’t. We were vegetarian freebasers, for crying out loud. That’s asking for double trouble. Once a week I ate a kroket out of a Febo wall. We broke up eventually.’

The junkie image we all learned to cherish is the fast-paced, lean, mean, shooting machine carrying a pack of vla.

JOB JANSSEN

By Jaro Renout

Is that correct, or is there more to the deal than dairy?

‘I had a passion for food, long before the dope. I had a mortar and pestle back then, and if we would get around to cooking, I would make curries and such, by hand, with fresh products. I got stared at by other junkies when I was seen spending money on food. I guess I was an exception. But I felt it was important to maintain basic nutrition standards even though it was physically impossible for me to eat anything on coke. It had to happen in between.

‘In particular, I had to get carbohydrates at least once in a while. Pasta, potatoes... I had a golden rule. No one was allowed to take anything from my carb stash without replacing it. You see, not all my ties to the real world were cut; I knew what I was depriving myself of. I finally kicked the habit myself. Without the Jellinek or any of the other drug rehab programmes and facilities. I can tell you that

All junkies know: use a thicker needle for vla.

is extremely rare. When I was clean for a year, I gave myself a present: two months of sunny Thailand. That was a slap in the face. I remember saying to myself: “Hello, where were you all this time? You were going to miss all this?” I really pigged out on food when I was there.

‘But an addiction like this is never over. If you lay me down a line right now, I would take it without hesitation. I have relapses. You know, sometimes I go back to Centraal Station. There’s all new folk in the scene there. A generation of freebasers is replaced by the next one a lot faster than in real life. Mine was wiped out, and just a few got away. It’s pretty much kick it, or die. If I would freebase now, I would re-experience four years of my life in about three minutes. And believe me, that is not something I would greatly enjoy.’

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Death of a FEBO man ‘Pulling a diagonal’ as institution.

A visit to the FEBO can put an eerie edge on any late Friday night. Just witness the almost religious quieting of a loud, beerfuelled crowd as they stand in line, ready to slot some change into a futuristic glowing wall and magically receive the crunchy sacrament of grease: a kroket, bamibal, nasischijf, burger or kaassouffle. As if hooked up to some Pavlovian machine, they first drool, then abandon themselves to the oily lipstick kiss that these fast foods ultimately deliver.

Last week, it was announced that local fast food pioneer Johan de Borst, who gave us all this, died peacefully at age 88. De Borst learned his trade at a bakery on the Ferdinand Bolstraat. As a tribute, he contracted that street name to Maison Febo when, in 1941, at age 21, he opened his own business at Amstelveenseweg 274.

Besides the usual baked goods, De Borst also sold his own self-made salads and deep-fried snacks. And his kroketten hit like a bomb: old photographs document 100-metre line-ups of people awaiting their fix. That sort of demand would get anyone thinking. And so, in 1960, at his own house around the corner at Karperweg 3, De Borst built a service counter at his living room window and an automatiek in the wall of his sons’ bedroom. A family business was born. In 1990, one of De Borst’s sons took over the business, and today a grandson also sits on the board.

De Borst didn’t invent the automat, or automated food dispenser. It was developed in the US and arrived in the Netherlands in the 1920s, where it was used to circumvent a much-hated shopping-hours law that did not allow personal service after 6pm. But by the 1960s, it had essentially disappeared from the international streetscape—the technology just couldn’t go against the natural laws of coagulation—until FEBO came along with its nifty space-age design and quick rotation of the goods supplied.

Alec Shuldiner, an American systems analyst who now lives in Amsterdam, wrote his 2001 doctoral dissertation on the history of the automatiek, using FEBO as a case study. He says that the key to FEBO’s success was that they managed to overcome the automatiek’s bad image. ‘They were seen as teenage hangouts that served the worst meats, fried in the oldest of oils,’ says Shuldiner. ‘And what FEBO did was clean up both the image and the food and turn this business model into a fine art.

Actually, “fine art” is probably not the best description—but you get the idea.’

And indeed, De Borst had a reputation as an honest perfectionist who was scrupulous about hygiene. While friendly, he was

KAREN WILLEY

By Steve Korver

also firm and liked to be addressed with the formal u. To maintain his good name, he always made the kroketten himself.

Even in old age he was often on hand in the factory to oversee the production of his snacks before they were delivered—fresh, not frozen—to a total of 58 franchises. In Amsterdam alone, there are 22 FEBOs, scattered all around town like pimples on the face of an adolescent.

Of the 350 million kroketten and 600 million frikadellen that the Dutch eat annually, only one or two per cent are bought at the FEBO. But according to Shuldiner, they are a hugely profitable company. ‘They were in the top ten of restaurant chains of the Netherlands as of early 2000. And just compare their outlet on Leidsestraat to the McDonald’s across the street in terms of space and personnel: sales are comparable, but FEBO’s costs are only a fraction of McDonald’s.’

While the vast majority of FEBO outlets are franchises, the family has always delivered the products in the name of quality control. The company also tries to stay with the times. Recognising the multicultural reality of Amsterdam, they took the pork out of their bamiballen, to make them Halal, and introduced spicy chicken to appeal to Surinamese customers. In 2007, they opened a new production centre in Amsterdam Noord; they also tested payment via mobile phone at a computer-chip-enhanced automatiek at their Leidsestraat outlet. Meanwhile, they are busy developing a low calorie ‘vitaaltje’ kroket and plan to open new outlets in popular Dutch tourist destinations such as Spain and Turkey—or at the very least, have a ‘mobile FEBO car’ doing a circuit of the Costas.

These days, FEBO is more than just a purveyor of food. ‘Een kroket trekken bij

Een diagonaaltje trekken bij de FEBO.

de FEBO’ has entered the Dutch universal consciousness. Everyone has a FEBO story.

There are endless urban legends—usually involving a student prank. It provides endless fascination for tourists. In fact, one of these tourists, David Leong, was so inspired by the FEBO concept that he opened Bamn Automat in NYC’s East Village last year.

And if FEBO continues to move with the times, perhaps they will build ever larger walls with ever larger slots—and maybe let students rent them. And consider the biofuel possibilities: perhaps one day, the mere wringing out of a FEBO napkin will be enough fuel to get your scooter to the next bar. But all these are still dreams, to be implemented by a fast-food visionary to come.

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THE SINS OF MY BODY WE SPREAD QUESTIONNAIRE CARDS ASKING PEOPLE TO EXPRESS THEIR UNHEALTHIEST SECRETS. Perhaps they had…

1) a weird body fact (e.g. sweaty feet, haemorrhoids, a growing mole, unsightly hair, Hepatitis C...), 2) a personal health fear (e.g. cancer, pollution, environment, contagious diseases, terrorism...), 3) a guilty pleasure (e.g. smoking, chocolate, beer, crack, unsafe sex, donor kebab...).

Some answered all the questions, some just one.

Regardless, most of the answers said more about the respondents’ minds than their bodies...

I pick rather than blow. So sue me! (Amanda, 27, sales/marketing person)

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Penis still growing at age 30! (Sam, 30, chef)

Powdering my nose!! (Vicky, 23, barmaid)

Whiskey when I’m nervous. (Katarina, 24, student)

1) Two webbed toes on right foot. Problem: while trying to swim in a straight line, body deflects to the left. Very tiring.

2) Suicide. Back in the day, on the mother’s side of family, a relative was found hanging from a beam about every week.

3) Beer, beer, liquor, fast food, beer and beer. (Harry Bay, 42, copywriter & wanna-be rock star)

1) Trippy Visual Anomalies—seizures (epilepsy) in the occipital region of my brain.

Sometimes loss of vision. Sometimes visions. Never thought I saw God. 2) That someone will think I’m crazy. It’s only epilepsy people—not the end of the world.

3) Sleep. I could win a gold medal if sleep was an Olympic sport. I don’t give a flying fuck about drugs. Sleep is my narcotic. (Vip van Winckle, 39, mattress tester)

My feet don’t match. Long toes like mum. Short toes like dad. Skinny. Fat. Too much chocolate + alcohol. (Eideanin, twentysomething, barmaid)

1) Hair grows from my ears which I loathe and have to trim every week. HATE it!

2) My most rational irrational fear is of getting sick/being around sick people. Dislike touching door handles, rails on public transportation, etc. Wind up washing my hands frequently.

3) Guiltiest pleasure is absolutely fucking strippers in America (I’m from NYC). Out of all the vices I’ve had to deal with over the years, strippers haunt me the most. (Dave, 34, photographer)

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My lungs feel unicorns. (Gavin, 31, Business Intelligence Specialist)

1) Part of my head is hollow.

2) Losing a limb in a bizarre farm machinery related incident.

3) Beer, of course. (Neal, 45, drone)

1) Perfume allergy. I am forced to smell myself. Not pretty.

2) The perfume allergy will spread from contact to airborne and I’ll be one of those assholes that can’t even be around people who smell good.

3) Sniffing scent. None of your business what kind of scent. (Rose, 39, writer)

Fear of sun cancer. Too much drinking of alcohol. Too much smoking. (Bronwyn, 25, bartender)

1) Super soft skin.

2) Self-combustion.

3) Cramming mouth full of: chocolate, specialty rolls/sandwiches, lasagne (homemade by Mom—best in the world!!!

Tried in Italy and tested many times. Crap. Mamma’s lasagne kicks arse!). (Neil, 35, business analyst)

Hmmmm! Brotherhood! (Menno)

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SHORT LIST

Foam_fusion, Saturday, Foam

THURSDAY 22 MAY World: The Idan Raichel Project The Israel-based Idan Raichel Project shot to fame in 2002 with music that reflected the cultural diversity of the region. Raichel’s soulful lyrics about love and tolerance are set to flawlessly blended music inspired by Ethiopian and Middle Eastern sounds. Raichel, a 29year-old keyboardist and songwriter, began his musical career as part of an army rock band during compulsory military service. The project is a collaborative work with about 70 friends and colleagues—fresh young talent as well as musical legends from Israel and its surroundings—making every composition a unique listening experience, and The New York Times called his sets ‘arrangements that bind the voices together in sombre minor-mode anthems paced by electronic beats, earnestly seeking to uplift.’ (Sulakshana Gupta) Melkweg, The Max, 20.30, €25 + membership.

Jazz: Scorch Trio I don’t think there’s a more visceral, punishing power trio in improvised music than the aptly named Scorch Trio, a group led by the Finnish guitarist Raoul Björkenheim, with the muscular Norwegian rhythm section of drummer Paal Nilssen-Love and bassist Ingebrigt Håker Flaten. As heard on the group’s recently released third album, Brolt!, the spontaneous sounds they cook up—-alternating between seething, post-Miles Davis grooves and abrasive, ear-piercing abstractions—-bring to mind the focused cacophony of Last Exit, as energy and emotion ebb and flow like a heartbeat enduring a horror flick. Björkenheim streaks his sound with psych-rock trademarks—-heady distortion, thick wah-wah and corrosive feedback-—but his lines and dense sonic eruptions are shaped carefully, driven and supported by the propulsive rhythm section, who convey movement more through accents and subdivisions than laying the beat flat on the floor. The resulting full sound reveals an inextricable logic as natural as human breath. (Peter Margasak) Bimhuis, 21.00, €15.

FRIDAY 23 MAY Voice: Jaap Blonk ‘Voice artist’ Jaap Blonk is a self-taught composer, performer and poet. Some call him a ‘cheek synthesiser’. But regardless, he’s certainly got one of the strangest set of lungs on the planet with which he communicates in his own self-invented

language: Onderlands. He describes it as a middle-language: between speech and music, human and machine. But regardless, it sounds like peeps, hisses, growls, roars, snores, asthmatic yodelling and alien throat clearing. Yep, he’s alternative all right. And after his solo performance he will be interviewed onstage. But that will be in old fashioned Nederlands. (Steve Korver) Perdu, 20.30, €6.

Jazz: The Cookers Here’s how jazz differs from baseball: in jazz, Old Timer’s Day is also the All Star Game. Jazz is a cumulative, experiential art, continually enriched by its practitioners’ legendary woodshedding. So time is an ally, adding more than enough wisdom and depth to offset the loss of a bit of speed or a few high notes. The Cookers can be considered hard bop’s Hall of Fame, featuring seven players—including trumpeter Eddie Henderson, alto saxophonist Craig Handy, pianist George Cables, bassist Cecil McBee and drummer Billy Hart—who had their efflorescence in the form’s great period, the early to middle 1960s. There’s no way to set out an adequate CV for these giants, as they’ve done everything and played with everyone, but the group has existed in various forms since 2001 and they’re hardly looking back.

Tonight they’ll proffer the forward-slaloming, melodic, post-Trane intensity that remains the movement’s signature. Bet they hit it out of the park. (Steve Schneider) Bimhuis, 21.00, €22.

SATURDAY 24 MAY Photography: Foam_fusion!

Calling all shutterbugs. It’s time again for FOAM’s international photography festival with two days of events celebrating still life. Look forward to debates on civic journalism and fashion photography, films like Heinz Butler’s Henri Cartier-Bresson: The Impassioned Eye, Sander Veeneman’s That’s Life and talks by the likes of Massimo Vitali, Domingo Milella and many others. Also part of the guest list is photographer Annie Leibovitz, famous for her American Music series—portraits of music legends. The grand finale of the festival is a series of one-off installations created by teams of photographers and DJs. There are also loads of other events dedicated to photography, like dance installations, poetry jams and portfolio reviews. And if that’s not your thing, you can even have your pooch photographed

by Maarten Wetsema. See www.foam.nl for the full schedule. (Sulakshana Gupta) Foam, 11.00-19.00, free. Also Sunday (11.00-20.00).

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Anniversary: 15 Years Soundgarden The Soundgarden is a dive bar. Its toilets are perhaps the worst in the city—plus determing which one is male and which one is female has been lost in the dust of time and under layers of nasty rock ’n’ roll posters. The place is mice-ridden because the two cats are too doped up on second-hand marijuana smoke. Death trap stairs lead to a terrace, notable only for the fact that you will find yourself ankle-deep in cigarette butts. The bartenders have seeping sores. And for some reason, this state of affairs has managed to continue for the last 15 years. So they are celebrating. With a bunch of loud bands. So come for a beer and stay for the abuse. (Steve Korver) Cafe Soundgarden, Marnixstraat 164/166, 620 2853, 14.00.

Contemporary Opera: A Flowering Tree For a composer who began as a minimalist, John Adams has become maximally productive. After 2005’s opera Dr Atomic (and those that preceded: Nixon in China, The Death of Klinghoffer, etc.), Adams planted A Flowering Tree in Vienna in 2006 as part of a 250th-birthday bash for Mozart. Inspired by Mozart’s openness and accessibility, Adams abandoned his habitual theatrical mode of tearing subjects from headlines to produce a light-hearted story of transformation and triumph with its libretto derived from both a 2,000-year-old South Indian folk tale, as well as Mozart’s Magic Flute.

Telling of an Indian maiden who turns into a tree—and the romantic complications such a move can entail—the two-act opera is lit by a score that is echt Adams: varied, colourful and endlessly resourceful. Adams himself will conduct this staged reading, featuring the three principal singers from the work’s premiere, the Radio Filharmonisch Orchestra and the Groot Omroepkoor. No question, this is an opportunity ripe for plucking. (Steve Schneider) Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 14.00, €38-€45.

SUNDAY 25 MAY Event: Nationale Dag van het Park Parks. You’ve got to love them. Except for the occasional spots of doggy-do brown, it’s all about the green. And today the country celebrates these green bits by organising a whole forest of park activities for kids from eight months to 80 years. Sponsored, ironically enough, by the Dutch automobile association, ANWB, it’s not gonna be the most cutting-edge of events. And perhaps to some, this would be the day not to visit a park, but hey. That you know… Westergasfabriek has the most activities: canoeing, tai chi demonstrations, visits to the nearby Sint Barbara cemetery. Believe the green hype.

See www.dagvanhetpark.nl for the full programme of what’s happening in a park near you. (Steve Korver) Various locations, free.

MONDAY 26 MAY Rock: A Place to Bury Strangers Noise. You’ve gotta love it. You’ve also gotta fear it. While rock music is supposed to be served loud enough to wash your brain away—and in this town, volume is nice for camouflaging chatter—some bands still love to take it to extremes. From heavy metal titans like Manowar and Motörhead back to The Who, countless outfits have turned it up to 11 as a badge of rock ’n’ roll honour. For others, it’s a necessity for their musical aesthetic, even evident in the recorded output. And this is where A Place to Bury Strangers come in. Having broken through the blogosphere last autumn, they’ve earned the title of ‘the loudest band in Brooklyn’, thanks to their trailing wave of tinnitus sufferers. Sonically, they offer up feedback-drenched indie guitars and effected bass, harking back to The Jesus and Mary Chain, Joy Division and a whole host of shoegaze and art rock icons. Throw in their bouts of machine gun drumming and the powerful trio can almost justify their upcoming Nine Inch Nails support slots. You can count on your chest taking a pounding tonight, but for God’s sake, wear some ear plugs. (Steven McCarron) Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 20.00, €8 + membership.

TUESDAY 27 MAY Festival: My City Budapest When you pass by people on the street that speak a language you absolutely cannot place, they’re usually Hungarian. (Or Finnish, but that issue’s kinda related.) However, Hungary has more to offer than a mesmerising idiom. Take their brilliant capital, Budapest, which combines the beautiful and the happening like every truly cool city does. The result of a cultural exchange between Amsterdam and Budapest, the My City Budapest festival offers a wide-ranging programme. Performances from Hungarian bands like Quimby, the Erik Sumo Band and Irie Maffia, and violist Lajko Félix with singer Pálya Bea, a lecture and presentation about the writer Sándor Márai, a visit from director György Pálfi and many more events aspire to cover every aspect of today’s Hungarian culture. (Sarah Gehrke) Melkweg, Sugar Factory and Concertgebouw, various prices and times, festival pass €22. Until May 31.

Send details and images for listing consideration at least two weeks in advance to agenda@amsterdamweekly.nl.

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Amsterdam Weekly

11 A scene from Stalin’s favourite movie Volga Volga.

Welcome to the Dream Factorski!

That’s right kids! Time to go ice skating in the desert!

EAST SIDE STORY: THE SOCIALIST MUSICAL FILM East Side Story 23 May, 22.00. Filmhuis Cavia, €4 (Heisser Sommer! playing at 20.30)

By Steve Korver

Once upon a time in the East, there was a Bloc-buster of a film genre—one that the unrestrained could call the ‘The Red Commie Musical’. These films came packed with tunes, drama, dance, romance, sheer wackiness and—most endearing for the modern Western viewer—a solidly alien conception. Who knew musicals could help sell the idea of a worker’s paradise?

In 1997, when directors Dana Ranga and Andrew Horn came out with their excellent documentary on the history of the genre, East Side Story, Eastern Bloc musicals seemed ripe for rediscovery.

But they haven’t yet managed to seep into the universal camp unconscious. So it’s a happy thing that Filmhuis Cavia, as part of their 25th anniversary activities, is screening both the documentary and one of its best cases in point: the 1968 East German beach party musical Heisser Sommer!.

As the narrator of East Side Story points out: ‘Jean-Luc Godard once said the history of film was the history of boys photographing girls. But Stalin had another fantasy—boys photographing tractors.’ His favourite genre was the socialist (sur)realist musical: endless fields of choreographed farm equipment, a roaring river of yodelling Rasputin look-alikes, a ‘Doris Day of the East’ chirpily strutting her cheekboned stuff in the name of higher production yields.

It all began in the early 1930s, when a film-maker named Grigori Alexandrov returned freshly stuffed with shtick after a few years in Hollywood, where he was Eisenstein’s assistant director and Charlie Chaplin’s drinking buddy.

Under the guise of being a ‘crazy guy’— always the safest position to play—Alexandrov made The Jolly Fellows (1934), a comedy of errors going straight for the chuckle jugular where a Crimean shepherd gets mistaken for a famous musician. The film was promptly banned until bigwig writer Maxim Gorky managed to get Stalin in for a gander. He enigmatically responded with, ‘Anyone who dares to make a movie as humorous as this must be a

brave man.’ And eventually Stalin helped clear the way for the making of the 1938 classic Volga, Volga—a flick which apparently had the dictator in stitches for over 100 viewings. In his enthusiasm, Stalin went so far as to award Alexandrov with a military medal (for bravery?). And hey, if it lightened the mind of a mass murderer, imagine what this giggle-ride could do for you.

While a few more snappily titled but more propaganda-prone classics —Tractor Drivers (1939), The Swineherd and the Shepherd (1941)—were filmed, the death of Stalin (and his reputation) essentially meant the death of the Soviet Musical.

But after the war, the gilded pitchfork was picked up by the new satellite states. Many of their media products for the proletariat helped to surreptitiously define glamour in lands where the concept didn’t even officially exist. Sure, these surreal-fests came somewhat crippled with ideology, but one can say the same for their Western counterparts.

For example, while the celluloid Gene Kelly, with his jones for romance, embodied the American Dream, the real Kelly nearly got his dancing ass blacklisted during the McCarthy era.

Hungary came up with Twice Two Sometimes Makes Five (1954), a love story between stunt pilots that, with its endless charade of parades, uniforms and fighting songs, eerily foreshadowed the Red Army invasion of 1956.

Czechoslovakia took better advantage of its Prague Spring by putting the comic muse back into musicals. The ingeniously shot Woman on the Rails (1966), about a woman tram driver who loses it when she sees her man kissing another woman, deliriously walks the

tightrope between intentionally and unintentionally hilarious. Your eyes will drool with delight as colour-coordinated housewives lean out of their colour-coordinated apartment building to exchange songs with their colourcoordinated husbands, who are below on the street washing their colour-coordinated Skodas.

But probably the juiciest—and most Technicolor—musicals came from East Germany. ‘Happy’ Hans Hendrick certainly did his best to brighten the working stiff’s day with My Wife Wants to Sing (1958) which exploited a former Miss Bavaria, not only to deal with vaguely feminist themes, but to hype the consumption of all the luxury goods that would appear once the country had dealt with that pesky problem of reaching production quotas. Naturally, it was banned. Not until its audio soundtrack recording became a hit did the state film studio DEFA back down and release it.

This led DEFA to start producing more musicals in the hopes of winning back their audience, who were now, annoyingly, swarming to West Berlin for their capitalist-tainted fix.

This resulted in Midnight Revue (1962), a truly zingy vortex of pure entertainment and blatant absurdity that was shot for the funny bone of the masses while the Berlin Wall was being constructed right through the director’s backyard. And if that’s not absurd enough, the plot of four creatives being kidnapped and bullied into making a musical is in fact a direct mirror of what was actually occurring—a film being produced under the mantle of the same state that had the power to censor it. As the refrain goes: ‘It’s simpler to go iceskating in the desert/ Than to make a successful musical.’

DEFA hit the jackpot with Heisser Sommer! (‘Hot Summer!’), the film that precedes the screening of East Side Story at the Cavia. It sold a stunning two million tickets, despite, or because of, its Hollywood plagiarisms, teenybopper cast and generally familiar beach blanket bongo-isms. These days, though, it holds no more sway than, say, Viva Las Vegas (although Elvis musicals did not have to stop shooting whenever the local hospital needed extra wattage). By the time the even more inane No Cheating, Darling (1972) came out, the genre could be considered officially dead, due in no small part to the emerging propaganda power, not to mention the couch convenience of television.

Still, if you have the inclination to dance to the lost dreams of socialism— and these dreams are, my comrades, not so very different from yours or mine—do take time to embrace these near-forgotten artefacts. (If nothing else, they’re a nice palate-cleanser for the Eurovision Song Contest taking place in Belgrade the next day—for which Filmhuis Cavia is also having a party.) And, the sweet thing is that when viewed today, these gems generally require no ironic disposition, just a willingness to surrender your ears and eyes, strap on those worker-built gossamer wings, and fly.

12

Amsterdam Weekly

22-28 May 2008

22-28 May 2008

Amsterdam Weekly

Saturday 24 May Opera: Radio Filharmonisch Orkest Performing John Adams’ A Flowering Tree. The popular American composer is on hand to conduct the orchestra, who are joined by the Groot Omroepkoor. Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 14.00, €38/€45 Rock: Emergenza The kick-ass musical money making scheme reaches the national final stage. It obviously doesn’t matter if you haven’t heard of any of the Dutch finalists (unless you’re related to a band member). What’s crucial is that we uncover the next Red Hot Chili Peppers cover band. Hooray. Melkweg, The Max, 18.00, €18 Pop: Feist A bit like Cat Power but happy. Apple adverts and the like have certainly advanced her career, but the award-winning Canadian proved on last year’s The Reminder that she has more tricks up her sleeve than the loose jazz-tinged indie pop of her break-out disc, Let It Die. Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 19.30, sold out World: Notte Napolitana The Nederlands Kamerorkest illuminate their Italian tendencies in this celebration featuring festive baroque, folk and sing-a-longs. Led by violinist Gordan Nikolicˇ, with a host of special guest musicians. Muziekgebouw, 20.30, €30

No Age, see Friday

MUSIC More listings at www.amsterdamweekly.nl.

Send listing suggestions at least two weeks in advance to agenda@amsterdamweekly.nl.

Thursday 22 May Singer-songwriter: Rik van den Bosch Bluesy folk, launching new album Coffee, Cigarettes and Beer. Also with Berlin banjo folkie KC McKanzie. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 20.00, €6 + membership Contemporary: Nieuw Ensemble Works by Boulez, Krenek and Schönberg. Conducted by Ed Spanjaard, with bass-baritone Romain Bischoff. Concertgebouw, Kleine Zaal, 20.15, €29 Classical: Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra Performing Von Weber’s Euryanthe Overture; Schumann’s First Symphony; and Mussorgsky’s Paintings at an Exhibition. Conducted by Mariss Jansons. Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 20.15, €51/€60.50 Experimental: Local Stop Concert Electronic experimentations from Alessandro Bosetti, Bonnie Jones & Andy Hayleck, Audrey Chen & Robert van Heumen and Hans Koch. STEIM, 20.30, €5 Rock: The Fleshtones Garage rock legends from New York who’ve been kicking out the jams since 1976.

Emerging from the scene that brought us Talking Heads, The Ramones, Blondie and Television, they ended up walking side-by-side with REM in the early ’80s and have shared stages with everyone from James Brown to The Police. Akhnaton, 20.30, €12.50 World: The Idan Raichel Project Israeli star. See Short List. Melkweg, The Max, 20.30, €25 + membership Electronica/Jazz: Dialogues DJs work with live musicians. Winston Kingdom, 21.00, €6 Jazz: Scorch Trio Adventurous Norwegian jazz. See Short List. Bimhuis, 21.00, €15 Singer-songwriter: Will Hoge Guitar pop and rock from Tennessee. Bitterzoet, 21.00, €7 Jazz: Livegespräch Young international quartet blending funk, jazz and soul with hiphop and drum & bass.

Badcuyp, Noordpool, 21.30, €9 Pop/Rock: Club 3voor12 Live radio and TV session featuring sets from Styrofoam and The Goods. Desmet Studios, 22.00, free, tickets: www.3voor12.nl Pop/Rock: Larry Cook Songwriter Maarten Veldhuis’ new band, launching new album The Love Interest.

Cafe Pakhuis Wilhelmina, 22.00, free

Friday 23 May Rock: No Age Suitably hyped, this LA band have the look and the backing of the music bloggers, but do they have the tunes? Art and psychedelic rock, leaping from stepping stones like The Jesus and Mary Chain back to The Velvet Underground, obviously delivered with plenty of youthful exuberance. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 19.00, €7 + membership Folk: Kimya Dawson It’s fair to call the twee anti-folk of Dawson divisive. You either lover her or hate her fluffy rambling ways. And after her inclusion on the recent Juno soundtrack, the numbers for the former have surprisingly swelled, seeing the former member of The

Moldy Peaches rising up from the usual dingy clubs.

Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 20.00, €10 + membership Folk: Sharron Kraus Brit folk. Also with Meg Baird of psych-folk collective Espers. Paradiso, Kelder, 20.00, €6 + membership Rock: Subbacultcha! With the violin-driven percussive indie punk of Portland’s New Bloods, who’re signed to Kill Rock Stars. Support from local indie divas The Moi Non Plus, once again taking their Celine Dion fandom to the underground scene.

There’s a bonus 3voor12 session from Sam Abidon and Valgeir Sigurdsson at the beginning of the evening, but the capacity for this part is severely limited and reservations are necessary. De Nieuwe Anita, 20.00, €6 Classical: Royal Concertgebouw Orchestra (See Thursday) Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 20.15, €51/€60.50 Rock: Committed For Live Sets from Eye of Judgement, Anchor, Birds of Feather, Kingdom, Permanent Mark and Calloused. Maloe Melo, 20.30, €7 Contemporary: Radio Kamer Filharmonie Shining the spotlight on Scottish composer James MacMillan. Muziekgebouw, 20.30, €25 4xLive A feast of indie rock, with sets from Appie Kim, Guernica (BE), The Tommies and Labasheeda.

Winston Kingdom, 21.00, €6 Soul: Leona Live Deep soul and rock harmonies from the stunning songstress, who’s performed with Candy Dulfer and Kane. Sugar Factory, 21.00, €9 Experimental: Narrominded Night Super fantastiche electronics, improvs, drones and unlikely pop music from the den of the Narrowminded label. Acts include Belch, Hakki Takki, Garcon Taupe, Spoelstra, Coen Oscar Polack and Hunter Complex. Fantasio (Nationaal Pop Instituut), 21.00, €5 Rock: Slank Indonesia’s biggest rock ’n’ roll band of all time are cheesy enough to make Bon Jovi weep.

But all you Indonesian expats will hopefully have a ball. Support from The Palookas. Melkweg, The Max, 21.00, €23 Jazz: The Cookers American masters of hard bop.

See Short List. Bimhuis, 21.00, €22 Americana: Tift Merritt An amazing night at Paradiso if you’re into the singer-songwriter scene. This gal from North Carolina is really into Bonnie Rait and her most recent album, Another Country, was produced by Rick Rubin protege, George Drakoulias.

Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 21.30, €8.50 + membership Pop/Rock: Stuurbaard Bakkebaard Eindhoven outfit renowned for their quirky rock ’n’ roll and bizarre storytelling. Cafe Pakhuis Wilhelmina, 22.00, €7.50 Americana: The Willard Grant Conspiracy Pilgrim Orchestra Robert Fisher’s LA collective typically has a reputation for being a tad downbeat, specialising in haunting rootsy beauty. But they do know how to rock out, too, and tonight is a bit special, as they invite North American and Scottish musicians, including composer Malcolm Lindsay, Chris Eckman and Jackie Leven, to join them. There’s also a solo support slot from Howe Gelb of Giant Sand. Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 21.30, €16.50 Big band: Scallymatic Orchestra Just because they’re one of the smallest big bands in town doesn’t mean Scallymatic pack a lesser punch. Their mix of beats from modern dance music alongside funk, jazz and Brazilian sounds always makes for a high-energy performance. Badcuyp, Noordpool, 23.00, €8

Rock: The Loved Ones American punk without the annoying teen spirit. Support from Frontkick (DE) and The Real Danger. Bitterzoet, 20.30, €8 Jazz: Ben van Gelder Trio Young, award-winning Dutch alto-sax player returns home for a 90-minute blast with his New York rhythm section, featuring bassist Gavin Fallow and drummer Colin Stranahan. Bimhuis, 21.00, €14 Contemporary: Conjunto Ibérico Cello octet, performing works by Philip Glass and Alberto Ginastera. Podium Mozaïek, 21.00, €18 Singer-songwriter: Bon Iver Critically acclaimed indie folk and soul from Justin Vernon, who’s just released his debut album For Emma, Forever Ago. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 22.00, €7 + membership Soul: Juice Box Maloe Melo, 22.00, €5 Folk: Sharron Kraus (See Friday) Paradiso, Kelder, 22.00, €6 + membership Latin/Jazz: Chico Pinheiro e Banda Relaxed Latin guitar play from the young Brazilian guitarist, accompanied by singer Luciana Alves, drummer Edu Ribeiro and bassist Marcelo Mariano. Bimhuis, 23.59, €16

Sunday 25 May Rock: Leidseplein Live 2008 Self-proclaimed as the ‘best cover bands’, party, rock and funk outfits will be blasting out well-known tunes all day and evening. Of all the things you can do with a free stage on Leidseplein, this has to be one of the weakest ideas, but maybe it will keep some tourists amused. Leidseplein, 13.00, free Contemporary: 9th Radio Monalisa Matinee Patricia Werner Leanse performs French chansons by Dutch composer Marjo Tal (1915-2006) with accordion accompaniment. De Cameleon, 16.30, €10 World: Marmoucha 10 Jaar Celebrating ten years of Moroccan-Dutch music culture with special guests from home and abroad. The party in the Grote Zaal is more about traditional Moroccan sounds, with masters of raï, chaabi and soussia. Events in the Kleine Zaal are more youthful, featuring DJs, MCs and breakdancers. Paradiso, 19.45, €21

13 Singer-songwriter: Sunday Songday Sets from RadioFree Carmela (US), Halfhide, Robin Black and Channah.

Winston Kingdom, 21.00, €6

Monday 26 May Rock: A Place to Bury Strangers The loudest band in New York? See Short List. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 20.00, €8 + membership Heavy: Silverstein Whiny Canadian emo punks who should really stick to the screaming. Melkweg, Oude Zaal, 20.00, €11 + membership Pop: AJ McLean Christ. Backstreet Boys’ ‘bad boy’ goes solo. Paradiso, Grote Zaal, 20.30, €20 + membership World: Notte Napolitana (See Saturday) Muziekgebouw, 20.30, €32 Jazz: Hiromi’s Sonicbloom Flamboyant funky jazz from the pianist, who’s something of a pop star back in Japan. Eccentric guitarist David Fiuczynski provides accompaniment while exploring the limits of the double neck guitar. Bimhuis, 21.00, €16 Soul: The Clipsters Electrifying ten-piece vintage ’60s soul outfit from Amsterdam. Sugar Factory, 21.00, €10 Experimental: DNK-Amsterdam Weekly concert series for new live electronic and acoustic music.

Tonight features an intriguing batch of compositions from students of the Conservatorium van Amsterdam.

SMART Project Space, 21.30, €5 Pop/Rock: Sunset Rubdown Indie rock from Montreal.

Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 22.00, €7.50 + membership

Tuesday 27 May Folk: Castanets Freak folk from American singer-songwriter Ray Riposa. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 20.00, €6 + membership Contemporary: Hotel Palindrone Modern folk music from Vienna. Concertgebouw, Kleine Zaal, 20.15, €28.50 Soul: James Hunter English bluesy/soul star, whose sound harks back to the classics of the ’50s and ’60s.

Melkweg, Oude Zaal, 21.00, €16 + membership Hiphop: Pharoahe Monch A former member of Organized Konfusion, renowned MC Pharoahe Monch stepped out in 1999 with his fiery solo debut Internal Affairs in 1999, complete with hit single ‘Simon Says’— later removed from the album after he was found to have illegally nabbed a sample from Godzilla. Recorded appearances have been limited since, with just the one album, which came out last summer. But with his fantastic vocal delivery, it’s well worth making an effort to catch. Melkweg, The Max, 21.30, €20 + membership

Wednesday 28 May Rock: Times New Viking Lo-fi fuzzed-up indie noise rock band from Ohio, now signed to Matador. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 18.30, €8 + membership Singer-songwriter: Grayson Capps Soulful and bluesy sounds from New Orleans. Paradiso, Kleine Zaal, 20.00, €8.50 + membership Horse the Band LA hardcore and metal with dashes of Nintendo audio gamesmanship. Seriously! Support from A New Hope and Misantropica. Winston Kingdom, 20.00, €7

Singer-songwriter: Gerben Kor Groep Nederpop.

Badcuyp, Zuidpool, 20.00, €4/€9

World: Kharkov Klezmer Band Raw and emotional klezmer outfit from Ukraine. Concertgebouw, Kleine Zaal, 20.15, €28.50

Classical: Richard Goode The American pianist performs a homage to Chopin, along with some token, Bach, Beethoven and Debussy pieces. Concertgebouw, Grote Zaal, 20.15, €32/€39

Jazz: Benefit Jazz Galerie Nickelsdorf Sets from Duo Han Bennink/Oscar Jan Hoogland, Available Jelly, Trio Braam/De Joode/Vatcher & Peter van Bergen, and Triolex. Bimhuis, 21.00, €15

Rock: The Black Keys Emerging earlier this decade, bluesy garage duo, The Black Keys, could never quite shake the comparisons with The White Stripes. But over their past couple of records, they’ve firmly established themselves as their own band, and notably worked with hiphop producer Danger Mouse on their most recent album, Attack & Release, allowing experimentation outside their usual box of tricks. Melkweg, The Max, 20.30, €15 + membership

Jazz: Brokkenavond Corrie van Binsbergen’s night of jazz dialogues. Tonight the guitarist will be performing with a surprise guest, plus there’s the Brokken Leer Orkest with Albert van Veenendaal. Zaal 100, 21.00, €5

Rock: Hallo Gallo! #7 A trio of noisy indie sets, featuring Aids Wolf (Canada), Intelligence (US) and Eats Tapes (US). OCCII, 21.00, €6 Jazz: Sex Mob No classic hit is safe from the Sex Mob treatment. Rolling Stones, James Brown and even Nirvana tracks have all found themselves transformed into the style of Bond movie themes by bandleader and slide-trumpet virtuoso Steven Bernstein. Also featuring Briggan Krauss (saxophone), Tony Scherr (double bass) and Kenny Wollesen (drums). Bimhuis, 21.00, €16

MKM! Experimental: MKM! Sonic audio adventures from Drummer San (Amsterdam/Japan), Andrew Sharpley (Paris) and Elmapi (Paris). OCCII, 21.00, €5

Amsterdam Weekly

14

Lust Urban eclectic Viagra. Hotel Arena, 23.00 04.00, €18 Nachtstalkers With Don Rimini (Discobelle, Paris), Sven, Tettero and Freddy Spool. In the bar, it’s an Appletree, 08BAR and Drie Keer Niks special. Flex Bar, 23.00-05.00, €9

22-28 May 2008

Friday 23 May Party: Goldrush For all you gold-diggers out there.

Fun dance party, hosted by Nickie Nicole and Tara Montana. DJs Jerry Black and MBC, plus special guests and performances by the Golden Glitter Gogos and surprise drag acts. Exit, 23.59, €10

Save Me, see Friday

Saturday 24 May Music: Eurovision Song Contest Watch the one and only Eurovision Song Contest on a big cinema screen.

An evening full of drinks, voting and bad—very bad— taste. Filmhuis Cavia, 20.30

CLUBS Thursday 22 May

Party: UNK Montly gay/mixed party in the western part of town, held above the Aldi supermarket. DJ Lupe and his crowd spins electro and undergroud beats. Club 8, 22.00-05.00, €8

Het Naaiatelier Funk, disco, soul and electropop with DJs and live acts. Fantasio (Nationaal Pop Instituut), 21.00-late, €6.50

Sunday 25 May

Gewoon Gastrvij A leisurely evening of house and minimal sounds. Club 8, 22.00-03.00, free Amsterdam Draait Door A new student party that’s just winding up and doesn’t plan to stop turning. With Joost van Bellen, Wicked Jazz Sounds, The Walk, Stef Hendriks, Tommy Tequila and Luca. Odeon, 22.0004.00, €15 Wildvreemd This week: celebrating the birthday of Berlin-based house and techno DJ Ray Okpara. Of course, anyone can sample the weird and wonderful Thursday delights. Sugar Factory, 23.00-05.00, €10 Blue Note Trip 7 Release Party Jazzy dance vibes.

The Blue Note Trip party is to become a new fixture at Melkweg, but this opening edition celebrates the launch of a new Blue Note Trip compilation album.

Melkweg, Oude Zaal, 23.00-late, €8 DJ Edzon Hiphop. De Duivel, 23.59-03.00, free

Friday 23 May Habbekrats Pop hits with a dance edge. Bitterzoet, 22.00-04.00, €7.50 Save Me One for the animal lovers who also love to party. Stichting Monkey Business celebrates its 5th birthday with diverse electronica. Proceeds go towards protecting apes. Hotel Arena, 22.00-04.00, €17 Uptight Indie versus booty. Club 8, 22.00-04.00, €6 DJBroadcast presents Full Pupp Featuring Prins Thomas (Oslo), Todd Terje (Oslo) and Shiva. 11, 22.30-04.00, €12 Hertz_Verjaardag Oscillating birthday beats from Fairmont (Canada), Gehring vs Teknik, Robert Powlson, Lin, Philip Young and Wouter Smit (live). Flex Bar, 23.00-05.00, €10 The Black Disco Bust Lifting you up with sets from Kalabrese, Rekick, San Proper and Cinnaman. Sugar Factory, 23.00-05.00, €8 klinch: Inmotion Progressive electronica from Martin Landsky, Shinedoe and 2000 and One. Melkweg, Oude Zaal, 23.00-late, €13 + membership Voidd Moritz invites Tobi Neumann for a night of house, minimal, techhouse and techno. Studio 80, 23.00-late, €13 Nighttime Superheroes With DJs Laidback Luke, Joachim Gerraud & Bart B More. Also with special act: Eklasiast (Techtonic Dansers). Paradiso, 23.59-05.00, €17.50

Rex… Electronation Live Rex...Electronation Live Featuring remix masters like Terry Toner, Smash TV and The Youngsters.

Sugar Factory, 23.00-05.00, €15 The Gallery Club Electro, house, hiphop and funk, plus a big screen photography and street art expo. Odeon, 23.00-05.00, €15 eRRorKREW invites Swat Squad Creative creatures of the dance party scene. Studio 80, 23.00-06.00, €11 Bassline With DJ SP, Lil Vic & Cream, MCs Fit & ShockWave and VJ Nintando. Paradiso, 23.5905.00, €12 Gemengd Zwemmen Two rooms of swimmingly diverse noise. In The Max, it’s classic hiphop and funk; in the Oude Zaal, there’s alternative dance, pop, rock and indie hits. Melkweg, 23.59-late, €9

Sex club: S.O.S. Organised by these naughty boys from GALA (who also brought us (Z)onderbroek). Well you don’t need much clothing here either as S.O.S. is not about that Abba song, but all about Sex on Sundays. Nude or underwear, it doesn’t matter. Anything goes (quite literally)... The Eagle, 16.00-20.00, €8

Monday 26 May Sex club: After Weekend Sex Party ‘Tell me why I don’t like Mondays’... Well, the crowd at this menonly, attitude free, sex party sure know how to get rid of that bluesy Monday feeling. Strict dresscode: naked or underwear only. CK, 2(x)ist and AussieBum galore!

Same Place, 20.00-01.00, €3/€5

Tuesday 27 May Sport: Nude Swimming Weekly nude-swimming hour, which is actually not gay but has been taken over by a herd of happy homos who don’t mind swimming without their AussieBum, Speedo or Calvin Klein—or with the occasional woman. Het Marnix, 21.00-22.00, €3.50

Sunday 25 May SalsaLounge From traditional salsa—complete with dance workshop—through to contemporary dance variations. Hotel Arena, 17.00-01.00, €18.50 Wicked Jazz Sounds Jazz, hiphop, broken beats, nu-jazz, funk and Afro sounds, as classic vinyl collides with live musicians. Sugar Factory, 23.00-05.00, €9.50 Zonde! New weekly Sunday party, with DJs Beesmunt Soundsystem and Mr Wix. Paradiso, 23.30-04.00, €7.50

Monday 26 May Cheeky Monday True skool jungle and drum & bass, featuring players from the local and international scenes. Winston Kingdom, 21.00-05.00, €6

Tuesday 27 May Voidd Sessions Minimal and techno night. Winston Kingdom, 22.00-03.00, €6

STAGE Opening Theatre: N.Q.Z.C. Here, Belgian writer Wayn Traub takes his audience back to his original universe, halfway between soap and myth; simultaneously banal and exalted. The acronym in the title stands for ‘Inquisition’ and is a questioning of love and its sacrifices, while the performances take place at the crossroads of three worlds. In French with Dutch surtitles. Stadsschouwburg, (Thur 20.15), €12-€23 Music/Theatre: Gegijzeld Elsbeth Vernout’s musical, inspired by the Moluccan terrorists who occupied an elementary school in Bovensmilde (Drenthe) in 1977.

KIT Tropentheater, (Thur 20.30), €12 Dance: Bollwerk Lab 3 A mobile choreography lab, bringing collaboration between the Hans Hof Ensemble and Andrea Boll. Melkweg Theater, (Thur, Fri 20.30), €7

Wednesday 28 May Saturday 24 May Tour de France All the way from Munich, DJ Thomas Bohnet of Le Tour will be popping into Amsterdam to spin a wide range of French pop, for which he is known throughout Germany and beyond. In the Foyer, DJ Duo Studio 17 have an all-French programme of yéyé, easy listening and cartoon music for the finger snappin’ hipsters. De Nieuwe Anita, 20.00-late, €6 Au10tique Deep house and soul from Rutger Docter and Peel Seamus. De Kring, 22.00-04.00, €8 Bassculture Jungle, drum & bass and eclecticism.

OT301, 22.00-late, €7 Mono Jamie Jones (London), Sascha Dive (Frankfurt), Lauhaus, Boris Werner and Mesjokke blast out their dance tunes through one very bigger speaker.

11, 22.30-04.00, €12 Rebel Up! Soundclash Diasporic sounds from the global underground: mestiza beats, gypsy funk, roots, Arabic, African rhythms, Latino, Asian and gritty electronics. OCCII, 22.30-04.00, €4

Funky Foolish Diverse funk party, including a live set from The Souldiers. Bitterzoet, 20.00-late, €5

GAY& LESBIAN Edited by Willem de Blaauw.

Thursday 22 May Semi Finals: Eurovision Song Contest For all you Eurotrashies out there: come to this fab bar to watch the semi finals on a huge screen. Afterwards—to stay in style—DJs XRXS & YAZ spin more Eurotrash! PRIK, 21.00

Is There Life On Mars?

Theatre: Is There Life On Mars? A new lunch piece by Don Duyns, written specifically for De Vogelfabriek. As you may expect from him, it’s an absurd collection of ideas, human concepts, living room science fiction, unfulfilled dreams and adventures into the new unknown. In Dutch. Theater Bellevue, (Thur, Fri, Sun, Tues, Wed 12.30), €14

Amsterdam Weekly

22-28 May 2008 Theatre: Een Midzomernachtsdroom De Amsterdamse JeugdteJAterschool get frisky with the Shakespeare classic. In Dutch. Rozentheater, (Thur-Sat 20.00, Sat also 14.00), €11 Theatre: Muller / Traktor Twenty-five years after his staging of Hamletmachine, theatre-maker Jan Decorte once again confronts the whimsical, poetic repertoire of German playwright Heiner Müller (1929-1995). In Dutch. De Brakke Grond, (Fri, Sat 20.30), €12 Performance: The Diva Body A theatrical crossover of dance, music, lectures, interviews and art. The Saturday evening is more about the performance, while the Sunday slot features more talking. Melkweg Theater, (Sat, Sun 20.30), €7.50 (Sat), €5 (Sun)

Ongoing Performance: Varekai Yet another Cirque du Soleil touring monster. This one is based loosely on the Greek myth of Icarus. Final week. Grand Chapiteau, (Thur-Sat 19.30, Fri, Sat also 15.30, Sun 13.00, 17.00), €25-€74 Theatre: De Gebroeders Ouedraogo What are the expectations of West African refugees? Are they really so different than we Westerners often think? And what happens when we meet them?

With this premise, Flemish writer Peter De Graef wrote a story in which Gop and Antwan Ouedraogo, two brothers from West Africa, come into contact with a couple in the Netherlands. In Dutch. Frascati, (Thur-Sat 20.30), €14 Theatre: De Fantasticks The famous ’60s musical, with music by Harvey Schmidt and lyrics by Tom Jones, gets a Neder-reworking. Arjan Ederveen and Johnny Kraaijkamp Jr take the lead roles, as Broadway comes to Westerpark. In Dutch. Westergasfabriek, (Thur-Sat, Sun 15.30), €35 Comedy: Now&Lauw: Urban Improv Comedy Weekly ha-ha with Wilko Terwijn and Nabil Aoulad Ayad. In Dutch. Comedy Theater, (Fri 23.30), €10 + membership Theatre: Naar Damascus Ingmar Bergman meets David Lynch in this Strindberg play, brought to stage by Toneelgroep Amsterdam. Directed by Pierre Audi, the play is about the writer’s struggle with relations, fame and religion. In Dutch. Stadsschouwburg, (Fri, Sat 20.15), €12-€23

Discussion: Streetlab Live Talk show about professionalism and entrepreneurship in street fashion and art. In Dutch. Pakhuis de Zwijger, (Fri 20.00), free Art: Foam_fusion! A dynamic weekend aimed at a wide audience of photography enthusiasts. Spread over two days, the programme includes a range of activities: discussions and debates; presentations and talks; films and documentaries; projections; spoken word; jam sessions; workshops; a sound and vision photo-DJ installation; and much more. High profile guests from home and abroad will be present.

See www.foam.nl and Short List. Foam, (Sat 11.0019.00, Sun 11.00-20.00), free Party: Artboost Hiphop and urban initiative OneFourOne Collective step outside the usual music field tonight, presenting an event stuffed with graffiti art, photography, music and fashion. Volkskrantgebouw, (Sat 17.00-23.00), €5 Event: Happy Chaos—Genesis 2.0 All you need to know about the future of humans and technology, as experts from diverse fields speculate about what happens next. Pakhuis de Zwijger, (Sat 19.30), €13.50 Festival: Flevopark Festival Getting festive in the Indische Buurt. Throughout the weekend, there’s rock, hiphop, soul and jazz performances, poetry, art, a graffiti tower, UmbrellART (maybe it will rain?), dance, sports and, of course, multicultural food and drinks. Flevopark, (Sat, Sun 13.00-22.00), free Event: StadsSpelen Competition that pits the stadsdeelen against each other. Today, Amsterdam-Centrum takes on Amsterdam-Noord in diverse fields like cooking, music, football, quizzes... Pakhuis de Zwijger, (Sun 09.00 -21.00), registration required Conference: Future Music Masters Conference 2008 A conference about the future of the music industry. Various experts will talk about their experiences and what the new generation can expect in the near future. It’s organised for anyone with a strong interest in music, who is pursuing music related study or for those who hope to work in the music industry. Sugar Factory, (Sun 14.00), €8 Multidisciplinary: Brakke Zondag Interviews, theatre sketches, live music and cartoons, debates and improvised theatre and comedy. In Dutch. De Brakke Grond, (Sun 16.00), €7 Film: Future Shorts The cutting-edge of the short film scene, hosted by MeccaPANZA Netherlands.

OT301, (Sun 17.00, 20.00), €5

Comedy: Comedy Explosion New and used stand-up comics doing their thing, with guests like Lambert-Jan Koops, Jeroen Pater and Roel C Verburg. In Dutch. Comedy Theater, (Fri, Sat 20.30), €12.50

Multidisciplinary: Amsterdam Studenten Festival Students, alcohol and entertainment. Oh, and some fierce competition. There’s all sorts going on all over town: concerts, clubs, poetry, theatre, exhibitions and films, with Amsterdam students getting to show off their skills, whatever they may be. See www.amsterdamsstudentenfestival.nl for locations and times.

Various locations and prices, (Thur) Performance: CREA Eindpresentaties Crea students present their end of course performances, varying from diverse musical styles to a range of theatre options. See www.crea.uva.nl. CREA, various halls, (Thur-Sat), €3 Literature: National Typography Day Celebrating typography rather than typos. The day is focussed upon a symposium at UvA’s Bijzondere Collecties (€50), but ends in a public lecture by world renowned designer Stefan Sagmeister (New York).

In English. Aula UvA, (Fri 16.30), free

ART More listings at www.amsterdamweekly.nl.

Opening A ‘Fruity’ Taste Eleonore van de Mortel presents paintings and sculptures with a distinctly fruity vibe, particularly when it comes to apples. While not necessarily unhealthy, taking a bite out of one of her pieces probably won’t do you much good. Olympisch Stadion (Fri 17.30-21.30, Sat, Sun 10.00-19.00), opens Friday, closing Sunday Fotogram Trofee Winning entries of the Fotogram amateur photography contest. Fotogram (Mon-Thur 09.30-21.00, Fri, Sat 09.30-17.00), opens Friday, until 18 June Polly Morph Kunstprijs Art competition for artists over 30 years old. Nominated and displaying works are Laurence Aëgerter, Anno Dijkstra, Peter Luining, Klaske Oenema, Klaar Valkhoff and Robbert Weide.

W139/Basement (Fri 19.00-23.00, Sat, Sun 13.0018.00), opens Friday, closing Sunday

Claudia Hek Paintings, prints and t-shirts from the established local, probably best known for her artistic contributions to the Dutch garage rock scene.

Chiellerie (Tues-Thurs 10.00-16.00, Sat, Sun 14.0018.00), opens Saturday, closing Thursday Darkness is Enlightning

Lecture: Climate Change Getting all Al Gore on your ass, with presentations by Jean Jouzel (French climatologist and director of the Instituut Pierre-Simon Laplace in Paris) and Johannes Oerlemans (Dutch lecturer and expert in paleoclimatology). Public discussion follows. In English. Maison Descartes, (Thur 17.00), free, reservations required

Doina Kraal: Onafzienbare Vertes, see Opening

Wim van der Linden Photography of Amsterdam from the ’60s. Stadsarchief Amsterdam (Tues-Sat 10.00-17.00, Sun 11.00-17.00), opens Friday, until 31 August

Theatre: De Gravin van Parma Part three of Ursul de Geer’s Sándor Márai trilogy. After Casanova has escaped from prison, he reunites with Francesca—the love of his life—and with her husband, the Count of Parma. Starring Pierre Bokma and Carice van Houten. In Dutch. Stadsschouwburg, (Sun 20.15), €15.50-€27.50

EVENTS

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Party: Darkness is Enlightning Avant-garde event featuring SoiSong—a new project by Peter Christopherson (Coil, Throbbing Gristle) and IvanPavlov (COH)—and English visual artist Val Denham. Sugar Factory, (Sat 20.30), €20 Multidisciplinary: Nationale Dag van het Park It’s time for you sit back, relax, breathe in some fresh air and enjoy your local park. All across town today, and in fact throughout the country, parks are putting on special activities to tempt you away from the cafes and museums and back out into the greenery. Let’s just hope the rain stays away. See www.dagvanhetpark.nl for what’s happening near you. See Short List. Various locations, (Sun), free Debate: Verlamd Door Schuldbesef French philosopher Pascal Bruckner and former UN representative Jan Pronk look back upon authoritarian regimes and intolerant religions. In English. Felix Meritis, (Mon 20.00), €10 Multidisciplinary: Lloyd Time on Mondays Weekly eclectic programme featuring discussions, music, presentations and art. See www.lloydhotel.com.

Lloyd Hotel, (Mon 21.00), free

Doina Kraal: Onafzienbare Vertes Utilising projections and photo sculptures, Kraal creates an environment where spectators can lose themselves in a temporary, private world. In these, recognisable elements are brought together with impossible ideas. Soledad Senlle Gallery (Mon-Sat 11.00-17.00), opens Saturday, until 12 July Gallery Opening A new art space launches, featuring works by Tamar Frank and the ‘Wall-artists’ the gallery recently showcased at Kunstvlaai. Petersburg Project Space (Thur-Sat 13.00-18.00), opens Saturday, until 15 June My [Public] Space A follow-up to the exhibition Territorial Phantom, looking more deeply into the blurring of private and public information and spaces. Multimedia works by Erich Berger/Elina Mitrunen, Hasan Elahi, Martijn Engelbregt, Kota Ezawa, Dora Garcia, Susan Härtig, Jill Magid, Eva and Franco Mattes (AKA 0100101110101101.ORG), Eduardo Navas, Guy Ben-Ner and Marisa Olson.

Montevideo/Time Based Arts (Tues-Sat 13.00-18.00), opens Saturday, until 21 June

Discussion: De Kracht van Afrika Examining the success of South African traditions in the modern business world. In English. Felix Meritis, (Tues 19.00), €5

William Monk A solo exhibition of 12 new paintings

by English artist Monk, including diptychs, triptychs and multi-panelled canvases, in which he opts for an aesthetic language of pure colours and forms against subtly contrasted shades of blue. Grimm Fine Art (Wed-Sat 12.00-18.00), opens Saturday, until 12 July

Discussion: Global Rights to Education ‘Privatisation and the omitted rights in the global education agenda’. How can we make education more readily available in order to lift people out of poverty? In English. De Balie, (Tues 20.00), free

Gerti Bierenbroodspot: Atlantis Rising A vibrant collection of paintings, watercolours, drawings and sculptures in bronze and alabaster from the painter and sculptor. Jan van der Togt Museum (Wed-Sun 13.0017.00), Amstelveen, opens Sunday, until 29 June

Green Bags: Brand New and Used Materials Showcasing bags and designers embracing the concepts of recyclable and sustainable. Museum of Bags and Purses (Daily 10.00-17.00), opens Sunday, until 17 August Homo Urbanus—Homo Sapiens? An outdoor exhibition promoting young artists from Latvia. Most striking of all is ‘The Pink House’ (until 20 June), a massive, bright pink inflatable building housing art and regular events. Westergasfabriek (Daily 12.00-20.00), opens Sunday, until 15 September Object, The Undeniable Success Of Operations The basis of this exhibition is a monographic presentation of the work of Falke Pisano. That work, in turn, is placed in dialogue with works by nine other artists, who investigate the relativity of language and the position of the artist and spectator. These not only illuminate Pisano’s present artistic position, but also interrogate it by supplying other possibilities and alternatives. Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam (Tues-Sun 11.00-17.00), opens Sunday, until 6 July

Museums Tobias Rehberger: the chicken-and-egg-noproblem wall-painting The first major Dutch retrospective of works by German artist Tobias Rehberger, who in the mid-’90s gained an international reputation for objects and installations at the interface of fine art, design and architecture.

Stedelijk Museum CS (Daily 10.00-18.00), closing Sunday Edwin Zwakman: Fake But Accurate A retrospective of well-known Dutch photographer Zwakman, in which his three latest series can be seen together for the first time. Huis Marseille (Tues-Sun 11.00 18.00), closing Sunday Paul Sietsema: Three Films The American artist Paul Sietsema has earned a reputation during the last decade with a refined cinematographic oeuvre of three films. Within the context of his first solo exhibition in Europe, the three works will be screened as a trilogy, representing three distinct phases in a conceptual artistic expedition through (art) history. De Appel (Tues-Sun 11.00-18.00), closing Sunday Rachel Howard New work by the acclaimed British painter. Museum van Loon (Fri-Mon 11.00 -17.00), closing Monday Boek Zoekt Lezer A historical overview of the Dutch literature world, showcasing advertising from the 17th century to the present. UvA: Special Collections Library (Mon-Fri 10.00-17.00, Sat, Sun 13.00-17.00), closing Wednesday Stella Faber: Foliage Presenting the work of Faber, who photographed the mountainous rainforests in Ecuador and Costa Rica. She researches the inner landscape of the rainforest in all its original complexity and dignity. Foam (Sat-Wed 10.00 -18.00, Thur, Fri 10.00-21.00), closing Thursday Eyes Wide Open The Stedelijk Museum presents a selection of recently acquired paintings, photographs, examples of film and video art, sculptures and graphic works by artists working in the Netherlands or elsewhere. Stedelijk Museum CS (Daily 10.00-18.00), until 1 June Karel Appel—Jazz 1958-1962 One of the nation’s most famous post-war artists, this collection comprises some 23 large-scale works. CoBrA Museum (Tues-Sun 11.00-17.00), until 1 June

Amsterdam Weekly

16 Jessica Dimmock—The Ninth Floor An exhibition of socially-engaged photography by the young American photographer. This disturbing portrait series features a group of young heroin addicts living in a ninth-floor apartment in Manhattan, New York. Foam (Sat-Wed 10.00-18.00, Thur, Fri 10.0021.00), until 1 June Wim de Haan—Drawings 1954-1964 Around 50 drawings from the late period of the artist’s life (he lived from 1913-1967), whose often intuitive and expressionistic style has a powerful immediacy.

Much of the determination felt in his work is said to be born of his experiences as a Japanese POW in WWII. CoBrA Museum (Tues-Sun 11.00-17.00), until 1 June Florian Pumhösl: Programm A Docking Station presentation. In his films, paintings, drawings and installations this Austrian artist investigates the varied visual traditions of the 20th-century avantgarde. With Programm he stages a meeting between the leading figures of Brazil’s cultural elite and a high-ranking military officer, set against the backdrop of a dilapidated villa. Stedelijk Museum CS (Daily 10.00-18.00), until 1 June Daniel & Geo Fuchs: STASI—Secret rooms This exhibition opens up the hidden rooms once used by the STASI, the infamous East German secret service, in a series of monumental photos. Foam (Sat-Wed 10.00-18.00, Thur, Fri 10.00-21.00), until 4 June Lucian Freud The first ever Dutch retrospective of this extraordinary and unconventional German artist. Gemeentemuseum (Tues-Sun 11.00 -17.00), Den Haag, until 8 June Superheroes and Schlemiels Superman, Maus, The Rabbi’s Cat and many other heroes and antiheroes from the art of comics feature in this exhibition of comics and graphic novels by Jewish artists. Joods Historisch Museum (Daily 11.00 17.00), until 8 June Kurt Lubinski: Photographer in Exile Documentary portraits by this German photographer, who gained a significant reputation as a successful photojournalist for his worldly travel reportages in the ’20s and ’30s. Joods Historisch Museum (Daily 11.00-17.00), until 8 June Geert van Kesteren: Baghdad Calling The acclaimed Magnum photo-journalist shows how Iraqi refugees are living in countries like Jordan, Syria and Turkey, as well as images of everyday Iraqi life, shot by the locals in areas where journalists would never dare to tread. Nederlands Fotomuseum (Tues-Fri 10.00-17.00, Sat, Sun 11.0017.00), Rotterdam, until 15 June Expanding the City Various photographers present their take on Amsterdam’s Zuidas. The show introduces a cross-section of the Zuidas Virtual Museum’s Zoom Collection, providing a unique compilation of different perspectives on a construction site in development. Foam (Sat-Wed 10.00-18.00, Thur, Fri 10.00-21.00), until 22 June Nancy Spero: Spero Speaks A solo exhibition by this prominent American artist, including exemplary works from different phases of Spero’s lengthy artistic career. A diptych sheds new light on the ‘persona’ of Spero, as artist, but also as activist, feminist and mentor. De Appel (Tues-Sun 11.00-18.00), until 22 June World Press Photo Exhibition of winning photos from the 2007 World Press Photo competition, including the esteemed Photo of the Year: an image of an exhausted American soldier resting in Afghanistan, taken by UK photographer Tim Hetherington. Oude Kerk (Mon-Sat 10.30 -17.30, Sun 13.00-17.30), until 22 June

Amsterdam and the House of Orange An exhibition surveying the ties which have bound Amsterdam and the House of Orange over the centuries. Amsterdams Historisch Museum (Mon-Fri 10.00-17.00, Sat, Sun 11.00-17.00), until 31 August Amsterdamse School Straatmeubilair Uitgelicht Celebrating the street furniture and objects created by architects and designers of the Amsterdam School. Museum Het Schip (Wed-Sun 13.00-17.00), until 31 August Lectori Salutem Delving into the history of books, with original objects, beautiful manuscripts and books from Dutch collections, photographs and texts.

Allard Pierson Museum (Tues-Fri 10.00-17.00, Sat, Sun 13.00-17.00), until 7 September Mondriaan Following the publication of a new book, this exhibition attempts to put paid to the popular idea that Piet Mondriaan was a cold, mathematicallyminded man and reveals that he was in fact an artist engaged in a passionate quest for a new formal language in which to paint. Gemeentemuseum (Tues-Sun 11.00-17.00), Den Haag, until 26 October Inside Out Personal portraits in word and image show how youths deal with religion and the part it plays in their daily lives. Bijbels Museum (Mon-Sat 10.00-17.00, Sun 11.00-17.00), until 2 November Drie Meiden in Verzet—Hannie Schaft en de Zusjes Oversteegen Exhibition about Hannie Schaft—’the girl with the red hair’—and Truus and Freddie Oversteegen, the girls she collaborated with in the resistance movement, and the difficult choices forced upon them in WWII. Verzetsmuseum (Tues-Fri 10.00-17.00, Sat-Mon 11.00-17.00), until 7 December Palestine 1948 On 14 May 2008 it will be exactly 60 years ago that the State of Israel was founded. This long term presentation shows how this event affected the lives of individual Palestinians. Tropenmuseum (Daily 10.00-17.00), until 4 January 2009

Galleries Thrill & Suspense! Diverse works by 19 young and talented artists from home and abroad. Walls Gallery, closing Saturday Shintaro Kago The first European solo exhibition by this much-talked about Japanese artist, who deals in satirical and grotesque manga imagery. K-Space Amsterdam (Wed, Fri, Sat 12.00-19.00, Thur 12.0021.00), closing Saturday Marcel van der Vlugt: A New Day In this photo series, Van der Vlugt remakes John Collier’s painting, Lilith. But rather than rehashing religious imagery, this collection reinvents the character in a world of plastic surgery. Witzenhausen Gallery (ThurSat 12.00-18.00), closing Saturday Elliott Erwitt: Personal Best The Magnum photographer presents highlights from his 60-year career.

Galerie Wouter van Leeuwen (Thur-Sat 12.00-18.00), closing Saturday Ewout Huibers: De Onvoorstelbare Stad Surreal urban images of Amsterdam from this master of interior and architecture photography. Meneer de Wit (Tues-Fri 14.00 -18.00, Sat, Sun 12.00 -18.00), until 30 May Bonnie Severien: Supernatural Paintings of landscape and interiors with unusual twists. AYAC’S (Fri, Sat 13.00-17.30), until 31 May Chris Shaw: Life as a Night Porter Shaw spent 10 years working in London hotels, all the while using his camera to both document the hotel’s unexpected human spectacles and keep himself awake through the long hours of his shifts. Hup Gallery (Tues, Thur, Fri 10.00-17.00), until 1 June

Luis Buñuel Photos, film fragments, original posters and memorabilia from the Spanish filmmaker’s Mexican period. Filmmuseum (Daily 13.00-22.00), until 22 June

Milly Betten, Henny van der Meer Recent grid-style paintings by Betten; organic looking objects and sculptures by Van der Meer. Galerie Roger Katwijk (Wed-Sat 13.00-18.00), until 1 June

Michael Najjar–-Augmented Realities, Works 1997–2008 The first major retrospective of the 41year-old Berlin-based media artist, filling 800 square meters of the museum. Much of his polished images deal with the theme of human life being controlled by computers and information technology. GEM (Tues-Sun 12.00 -18.00), Den Haag, until 29 June

Sustainability and Transparency A photo exhibition displaying the themes of ‘Sustainability’ and ‘Transparency’ through the eyes of a diverse group of international photographers, including renowned artist, Chris Jordan (US). Melkweg Galerie (Wed-Sun 13.00-20.00), until 1 June

Zomer in de Kerk The Nieuwe Kerk lays itself bare in the early months of summer. Rather than showcasing treasures gathered from around the world, you can explore the church and its tombs in their own full glory. Nieuwe Kerk (Fri-Wed 10.00-18.00, Thur 10.00-22.00), until 29 June In Afghanistan Hans Stakelbeek’s photos of the rebuilding process in Afghanistan. Centrale Bibliotheek (Daily), until 30 June

Nicolas Provost Retrospective exhibition of works by filmmaker Nicolas Provost, featuring seven of his films. De Brakke Grond (Mon 10.00-18.00, Tues-Fri 10.00-20.30, Sat 13.00-20.30, Sun 13.00-17.00), until 1 June Miles Aldridge: New Works Fashion photography?

Perhaps. But if you look a bit closer, you’ll notice a certain discomfort underlying the world of glamour Aldridge portrays, as if something terrible is just about to happen. Reflex New Art Gallery (Tues-Sat 11.00-18.00), until 7 June

Niels Helmink: Shopkeepers Photos of shopkeepers in their winkel domains. Galerie Bart (Thur, Fri 11.0018.00, Sat 12.00-17.00), until 7 June Carli Hermès: The Elements The commercial photographer presents a new set of expressive fantasy images. Galerie Rademakers (Tues-Sun 11.00-17.30), until 8 June Eugène Brands Numerous gouaches, photos and ethnographic objects in a visually interesting survey of the Cobra artist. Gallery Lemaire (Wed-Sun 13.00-17.00), until 8 June Hairbusiness: Heads and Tales An interactive multimedia installation bringing to life the intimate world of the hairdresser, where guards are let down—both physically and emotionally—as you stare into the mirror. Imagine IC (Tues, Wed, Fri, Sat 11.00 -17.00, Thur 11.00 -21.00), until 14 June De Staat van de Straat Window exhibits featuring diverse street art from the collection of André Eggens. Bellamyplein (Daily till 00.00), until 15 June Arabic Graphics Exhibition showcasing the graphic and typographic design works of Lebanese-Dutch designer Tarek Atrissi, who has developed ideas for commercial and non-commercial projects around the world. De Levante (Wed-Sun 13.00-17.30), until 22 June Douglas White English artist White takes decaying objects, discarded waste and generally that which we have cast aside as useless or irrelevant and breathes new life into it. Here he’ll show a new installation made of exploded tyres. Galerie Gabriel Rolt (Wed-Sat 12.00-18.00), until 22 June

ADDRESSES 11 Oosterdokskade 3-5, 625 5999 Akhnaton Nieuwezijds Kolk 25, 624 3396 Allard Pierson Museum Oude Turfmarkt 127, 525 2556 Amsterdams Historisch Museum Kalverstraat 92, 523 1822 De Appel Nieuwe Spiegelstraat 10, 625 5651 Aula UvA Singel 411, 525 4791 AYAC'S Keizersgracht 166, 638 5240 Badcuyp 1e Sweelinckstraat 10, 675 9669 De Balie Kleine-Gartmanplantsoen 10, 553 5151 Bijbels Museum Herengracht 366-368, 624 2436 Bimhuis Piet Heinkade 3, 788 2150 Bitterzoet Spuistraat 2, 521 3001 De Brakke Grond Nes 45, 626 6866 Cafe Pakhuis Wilhelmina Veemkade 576, 419 3368 De Cameleon 3e Kostverlorenkade 35, 489 4656 Centrale Bibliotheek Oosterdokskade 143, 523 0900 Chiellerie Raamgracht 58, 320 9448 Club 8 Admiraal de Ruyterweg 56B, 685 1703 CoBrA Museum Sandbergplein 1-3, Amstelveen, 547 5050 Comedy Theater Nes 110, 422 2777 Concertgebouw Concertgebouwplein 2-6, 671 8345 Consortium Veemkade 570, 06 2611 8950 CREA Turfdraagsterpad 17, 525 1400 Desmet Studios Plantage Middenlaan 4A, 521 7100 De Duivel Reguliersdwarstr 87, 626 6184 Exit Reguliersdwarsstraat 42, 625 8788 Fantasio (Nationaal Pop Instituut) Prins Hendrikkade 142, 428 4288 Felix Meritis Keizersgracht 324, 626 2321 Filmmuseum Vondelpark 3, 589 1400 Flex Bar Pazzanistraat 1, 486 2123 Foam Keizersgracht 609, 551 6546 Fotogram Korte Prinsengracht 33, 624 9994 Frascati Nes 63, 626 6866 Galerie Bart Bloemgracht 2, 320 6208 Galerie de Rietlanden Exposities Rietlandpark 193, 419 4705 Galerie Gabriel Rolt Elandsgracht 34, 785 5146 Galerie Rademakers Prinsengracht 570-572, 6225496 Galerie Roger Katwijk Lange Leidsedwarsstraat 198-200, 627 3808 Galerie Wouter van Leeuwen Hazenstraat 27, 06 5203 1540 Gallery Lemaire Reguliersgracht 80, 623 7027 Grand Chapiteau near Amsterdam ArenA (P2) Grimm Fine Art Hazenstraat 24, 422 7227 Hotel Arena ’s-Gravesandestraat 51, 850 2400 Huis Marseille Keizersgracht 401, 531 8989 Hup Gallery Tesselschadestraat 15, 515 8589 Imagine IC Bijlmerplein 1006-1008, 489 4866 Jan van der Togt Museum Dorpsstraat 50, Amstelveen, 641 5754 Joods Historisch Museum Jonas Daniel Meijerplein 2-4, 531 0310 K-Space Amsterdam Nieuwezijdsvoorburgwal 262 KIT Tropentheater Mauritskade 63, 568 8711 De Kring Kleine-Gartmanplantsoen 7-9, 623 6985

22-28 May 2008 Unlikely Paintings and murals by Elizabeth Cooper, Leo de Goede, Terry Haggerty, Jasmine Justice, Bertold Mathes, Klaus Merkel, Sonia Rijnhout and Gary Stephan. W139 (Sun-Thur 11.00-20.00, Fri, Sat 11.00-22.00), until 22 June Tintin Wulia: Invasion For almost ten years, Tintin Wulia has applied a manifold of strategies in exploring questions about spatial border and its relation to human identity. Her current artistic stance aims at getting a better imagination about her ‘self’ in the midst of relations between her criss-crossing cultural genealogies and today’s global political order.

Motive Gallery (Wed-Sat 13.00-18.00), until 28 June Arnout Killian: Park Solo exhibition featuring colourful and vibrant paintings inspired by Vondelpark in the summer. Van Zijll Langhout (Mon-Fri 10.00-17.00), until 30 June Hipop Urban paintings by Rah Crawford, whose dynamic bursts of colour and energy aim to expose the hip-ness in American popular culture. Studio Apart (Tues-Fri 10.00-18.00, Sat 12.00-17.00), until 30 June Henk Pander Nature meets industry in this series of paintings titled Amsterdam—Portland (Oregon).

Galerie de Rietlanden Exposities (Sat, Sun 13.0017.00), until 17 July Checking Reality Envision the world as a computer game in which your clothes are 3D-projections and a GPS system tells you the position of an object. Imagine yourself as an avatar, flying through future cities and simulated landscapes. This exhibition poses such a virtual world in the real world, with special events occurring during its run. See www.platform21.com. Platform 21 (Thur-Sun 12.00-18.00), until 10 August De Levante Hobbemastraat 28, 671 5485 Maison Descartes Vijzelgracht 2A, 531 9500 Maloe Melo Lijnbaansgracht 163, 420 4592 Melkweg Lijnbaansgracht 234A, 531 8181 Melkweg Galerie Marnixstraat 409, 531 8181 Meneer de Wit Postjesweg 2, 616 3680 Montevideo/Time Based Arts Keizersgracht 264, 623 7101 Motive Gallery Elandsgracht 10, 330 3668 Museum Het Schip Spaarndammerplantsoen 140, 418 2885 Museum of Bags and Purses Herengracht 573, 524 6452 Museum van Loon Keizersgracht 672, 624 5255 Muziekgebouw Piet Heinkade 1, 788 2010 Nederlands Fotomuseum Wilhelminakade 332, Rotterdam, 010 213 2011 De Nieuwe Anita Frederik Hendrikstraat 111, 06 4150 3512 Nieuwe Kerk entrance on the Dam, 638 6909 OCCII Amstelveenseweg 134, 671 7778 Odeon Singel 460, 624 9711 Olympisch Stadion Olympisch Stadion 2, 671 1115 OT301 Overtoom 301, 779 4913 Oude Kerk Oudekerksplein 23, 625 8284 Pakhuis de Zwijger Piet Heinkade 179-181, 788 4444 Paradiso Weteringschans 6-8, 626 4521 Perdu Kloveniersburgwal 86, 627 6295 Petersburg Project Space Frans de Wollantstraat 84 Platform 21 Prinses Irenestraat 19, 344 9449 Podium Mozaïek Bos en Lommerweg 191, 580 0380 PRIK Spuistraat 109, 06 4544 2321 Reflex New Art Gallery Weteringschans 79A, 423 5423 Rozentheater Rozengracht 117, 620 7953 Same Place Nassaukade 120, 475 1981 SMART Project Space Arie Biemondstraat 107-113, 427 5953 Soledad Senlle Gallery Sloterkade 171, 615 1395 Soundgarden Marnixstraat 164/166, 620 2853 Stadsarchief Amsterdam Vijzelstraat 32 Stadsschouwburg Leidseplein 26, 624 2311 Stedelijk Museum Bureau Amsterdam Rozenstraat 59, 422 0471 Stedelijk Museum CS Oosterdokskade 5, 573 2911 STEIM Utrechtsedwarsstraat 134, 622 8690 Studio 80 Rembrandtplein 70, 521 8333 Studio Apart Prinsengracht 715, 422 2748 Sugar Factory Lijnbaansgracht 238, 627 0008 The Eagle Warmoesstraat 90, 627 8634 Theater Bellevue Leidsekade 90, 530 5301 Tropenmuseum Linnaeusstraat 2, 568 8200 UvA: Special Collections Library Oude Turfmarkt 129, 525 2141 Van Zijll Langhout Brouwersgracht 161, 06 2825 9620 Verzetsmuseum Plantage Kerklaan 61, 620 2535 Volkskrantgebouw Wibautstraat 150 Vondelkerk Vondelstraat 120 W139 Warmoesstraat 139, 622 9434 W139/Basement Oosterdokskade 5, 06 2427 6657 Westergasfabriek Haarlemmerweg 8-10, 586 0710 Winston Kingdom Warmoesstraat 129, 623 1380 Witzenhausen Gallery Elandsstraat 145, 644 9898 Zaal 100 De Wittenstraat 100, 688 0127

22-28 May 2008

Amsterdam Weekly

My belly’s golden arch McDonald’s Restaurant, Leidsestraat 97 Open daily: Sun-Thurs, 09.00-03.00; Fri-Sat, 09.00-04.00 Cash, Pin Readers, I humbly confess to you: I breakfasted at McDonald’s.

Why? Because this is the Amsterdam Weekly’s ‘Unhealthy’ issue, and I was determined to zealously consume only foods that I would later regret. So what better place to start the day than at that universal hamburger tabernacle that many say helps promote global obesity? The golden arches were my sign to sin.

My breakfast choice was a McMomentje (€1.75) a chicken patty on a black seeded bun, along with a McBacon (€3.00), a hamburger with bacon.

‘That’s it?’ asked the girl at the counter, surprised by my modest cravings.

‘I’m on diet,’ I mumbled.

I sat and opened the precious boxes. Very clever indeed: the burgers were smaller than the usual size and therefore would protect me from gaining weight. My admiration for their dietary expertise grew. But then I bit in. The McMomentje chicken burger was chewy and gluey (could have plugged the leaking air from Apollo 13), tasting of an insipid tomato slice, sludgy mayo, shredded lettuce, a piece of sour pickle and a chicken flavoured patty. It was quite repellent, but I finished it. My McBacon (also smaller in size) had a crispy bacon strip in the middle. It proved ordinary in a greasy sort of way. My innards rumbled acidic protests as I headed homewards.

THE UNDERCOVER GLUTTON Back home I had a lunch consisting of fried pork sausages and eggs on Turkish bread, smeared with Chinese black bean sauce. This was a greasy affair.

Back home, I had a lunch consisting of fried pork sausages and eggs on Turkish bread, smeared with Chinese black bean sauce. This was a greasy affair. I washed

them down with a glass of stinging Jamaican ginger beer that I had transformed into an ice cream float with a heaping scoop of vanilla ice cream.

17

Still dizzy from lunch, I browsed cookbooks for inspiration for the perfect supper for a perfectly unhealthy day. Eureka! I found it: a spicy meatloaf concealing boiled eggs within. Childhood revisited. Big slices served cold, on bread, slathered with plenty of squeeze-bottle tomato ketchup.

The meatloaf consisted of three minced meats (250g veal, 250g beef and 250g pork). I combined them and seasoned the mixture with a dash of Chinese rice wine (sherry would do, but I didn’t have any), ginger syrup, dark soy sauce, a generous pinch of aromatic 5-spice, chopped garlic, half a grated apple, small cocktail onions and chopped fresh dill. I left the mixture for an hour to allow the flavours to develop. Meanwhile, I preheated the oven to 250 degrees Celsius.

Later, I added a binding of two eggs and milksoaked bread before spooning half of the meat mixture onto my baking tray. I placed three hardboiled eggs on the meat, and then added the second half of the meat mixture. Afterwards, I glazed the loaf with mustard and brown sugar. I lowered the temperature to 200 degrees Celsius, setting my kitchen timer to 30 minutes.

In the meantime, I gobbled handfuls of Japanese peanut balls, whilst I watched chefs battling it out on the box. Lovely smells poured from the kitchen. At last, my egg-meatloaf was ready. A great success! The texture was soft, moist and firm enough to cut without crumbling. And it lasted me for days. I finished off my meal with cappuccino ice cream from the night shop and cinnamon-coated, chocolate-covered almonds.

Healthy? I think not! It’s no surprise my constitution could use a sudden makeover. To be honest, my palate is jaded and I feel bloated, fat and unlovely. My bathing trunks are moth eaten from disuse. I need a diet. Some fresh oysters and grilled prawns with squeezed lemon might do the trick. Waist not, want not.

Amsterdam Weekly

18

22-28 May 2008 Hi mommy, I’m home.

What good is a horror film without blood? Plenty, when it has the best old-school storytelling in years.

KIDNAPPED BY HIS INVISIBLE FRIENDS FILM El Orfanato Opens Thursday at Kriterion, Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt.

By Luuk van Huët

I’m the first to admit that the whole ‘spooky kid’ horror plot device is wearing thinner than an Olsen twin,

particularly after a host of Asian flicks in which demonic damsels with long black hair come back to haunt the crap out of the living. Actually, I have a theory that this is a scheme hatched by the Japanese government to encourage their neighbours to leave them alone: ‘Pick a fight with Nippon and you’ll open up a well of undead kiddie corpses with a bad hair day!’

But El Orfanato [‘The Orphanage’] isn’t the umpteenth derivative tale with a pint-sized skeleton in its closet. Far from it. Instead it’s a dark, gothic fairy tale that cements Spain’s reputation for top-notch horror films in the vein of the highly acclaimed Pan’s Labyrinth. (The director of that film, the Latin prodigy Guillermo del Toro, is one of the producers of this fine title.) The orphanage in question is the place where our heroine, Laura (the enchanting Belen Rueda), spent the happiest years of her childhood. She left when she was adopted, but has returned to the sprawling mansion that goes by the name of Buen Pastor (‘Good Shepherd’). Together with her husband Carlos and her own adopted son Simon, she plans to turn it into a home for mentally challenged children.

Once Simon starts chatting with scores of invisible friends, however, it becomes clear that there’s something

more sinister at work than just parental paranoia and imposing architecture.

During the home’s housewarming party, while the kids and their folks are being feted, Simon disappears. This forces Laura to confront her own traumatic experiences in order to save her son.

Giving away more of the plot might spill crucial information vital to the enjoyment of the movie, but rest assured: it has an old-school quality of storytelling that is desperately lacking in most current films.

This might be the only problem El Orfanato faces in comparison to most present-day slashers, which are simultaneously blood-soaked and PG-13 wussified. A preview I attended was not well received, as gore enthusiasts lamented the lack of elaborate evisceration and casual filmgoers giggled, possibly to cover their anxiety during the film’s more disconcerting scenes. It’s been a while since such an intelligently made, comparatively blood-and- guts-less chiller has been available for your viewing pleasure in the cineplexes, and not everyone may know how to read it. There are some quality scares here that defy the custom of equating sudden loud noises with terror, while producing some memorable and utterly original moments.

In other words, El Orfanato might be a little too subtle for your average cinema audience. But if you have any kind of taste, go see it. Newcomer Juan Antonio Bayona has produced a stylish film that relies on suspense instead of crude shock effects, based on strong characters and great acting. You’ll be scared because you care.

Five-Word Movie Review

FILM

Edited by Julie Phillips.This week’s films reviewed

by Massimo Benvegnù (MB),Angela Dress (AD), Andrea Gronvall (AG),Luuk van Huët (LvH),JR Jones (JJ),Joshua Katzman (JK),Dave Kehr (DK),Marie-Claire Melzer (MM),Mike Peek (MP), Bart Plantenga (BP),Gusta Reijnders (GR), Jonathan Rosenbaum (JR),Martin Rubin (MR), Marinus de Ruiter (MdR) and Bregtje Schudel (BS).All films are screened in English with Dutch subtitles unless otherwise noted.

Festival Amsterdam Shorts! International Film Festival

No, it’s not about your HEMA underpants. It’s an international competition for the best new short films, kicking off next Wednesday, 28 May, with an opening party at the Balie and running through 1 June.

De Balie

New this week Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull Indiana Jones has aged 20 years, from the 1930s to the 1950s, and in the Spielberg/Lucas universe this means hot rod cars and Triumph bikes, bland college McCarthyism, nasty Soviet comrades, the atomic scare and, yes, UFOs. The period shift works pretty well, and gives the film-makers a new palette of elements in which to play with their old character. Professor Jones has aged gracefully, and so has Harrison Ford, joined here by his original Raiders co-star Karen Allen (still Indy’s ex-girlfriend) and newcomer Shia LaBeouf. Fans of the original series won’t be too disappointed. As in Raiders, there are countless movie quotations to keep the film buffs busy; and overall, Indy 4 manages to temporarily recreate that nostalgic sense of

TAXIDERMIST DECIDES TO STUFF HIMSELF Taxidermia Melkweg Cinema

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

wonder that’s been painfully lacking in recent cinema. (MB) 123 min. The Movies, Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt, Pathé Tuschinski De muze A young poet with writer’s block (Matthias Schoenaerts) goes to an Antonioni movie and falls in love with the director’s ‘muse’, Monica Vitti.

Wandering through the city at night, he meets a woman (Tara Elders) with a remarkable resemblance to the Italian actress. Still, her presence doesn’t seem to be helping his poetry. This new film by Ben van Lieshout has no dialogue; the voice-over, spoken by Fedja van Huêt, is from JM Coetzee’s memoir Youth. In Dutch 72 min. Filmmuseum

El Orfanato A horror film for people who don’t like horror films. See review, above. Kriterion, Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt

Over Her Dead Body A control-freak bride (Eva Longoria Parker) is crushed to death by a massive ice sculpture on her wedding day; a year later, her restless spirit becomes mighty peeved when her erstwhile fiancé (Paul Rudd) falls for a psychic (Lake Bell). Directed by sitcom veteran Jeff Lowell, this stale comedy about a vengeful ghost would be depressing if it weren’t so disposable. (AG) 95 min.

Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt

Tropa de Elite Months before it won the top prize at the Berlin Film Festival, Tropa de Elite was already the most illegally downloaded film ever in Brazil, with more than 1.5 million pirated copies sold. Industry insiders looked at this as not only a fantastic publicity stunt but a way to dismiss controversy regarding the film’s main theme: brutal police violence on the streets of Rio. The Elite Squad of the title claim to be the world’s most effective urban warriors, and their fascistic methods are portrayed in extremely realistic terms. The film’s high-octane action and right-wing morals make it feel like a Hollywood cop thriller with a samba soundtrack. It’s no surprise that Tropa director José Padilha is now attached to an action movie at Warner Bros, appropriately titled A Willing Patriot. In Portuguese with Dutch subtitles.

(MB) 118 min. Cinecenter, Kriterion, Pathé Tuschinski

Still playing African Bambi A Dutch nature documentary for kids, set on the Serengeti, with excruciatingly sappy music and cloying narration by Loes Luca. In Dutch. 80 min.

Het Ketelhuis

Un Baiser s’il vous plait A light, sexy romantic comedy directed by, and starring, Emmanuel Mouret. Gabriel (Michael Cohen) gives Emilie (Julie Gayet) a ride into Nantes. He asks for a kiss, and they wind up telling stories to each other about how one kiss can be a dangerous thing. With Virginie Ledoyen, Stefano Accorsi. In French with Dutch subtitles. Cinecenter Le Ballon Rouge & Crin-Blanc These classic shorts by French director Albert Lamorisse are so pure in their emotion and elemental in their drama that parents may be as moved as their kids. In Le Ballon Rouge (1956, 34 min.) a little boy’s blue-grey existence is brightened by the arrival of a dramatically red balloon; in the lesserknown Crin-Blanc (‘White Mane’, 1953, 40 min.) a boy forges a bond with a proud wild stallion. Both films tell the same story—the balloon is coveted by neighbourhood bullies, the stallion by mercenary horse wranglers—and both end with a moment of transcendence, as the boy and his prized ‘friend’ escape the cruel world of grown-ups for the limitless unknown. (JJ) De Uitkijk

The Band’s Visit In this year’s art-house hit, the Alexandria Ceremonial Police Band, a small combo specialising in traditional Arab repertoire, flies from Egypt to Israel to play at the opening of a cultural centre. When their guide fails to meet them at the airport, they take the wrong bus and end up in the wrong city.

To their rescue comes beautiful Dina (Israeli superstar Ronit Elkabetz), the owner of the only café in town,

who sees the band’s arrival as both a business opportunity and a chance to relieve the local boredom.

Directed with a firm hand by Eran Kolirin, who also wrote the original screenplay, The Band’s Visit gently lets you inside its unique sense of humour. The moment when the band is finally allowed to play its repertoire is the cherry on top of an appealing cinematic dessert. (MB) 87 min. Rialto

Be Kind Rewind Be Kind Rewind The sweet-tempered Michel Gondry works well with sharp-edged material (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind), but his projects as a solo writer-director threaten to drift off into whimsy (The Science of Sleep and now this feature). Danny Glover entrusts his run-down video shop in New Jersey to clueless assistants Jack Black and Mos Def, who accidentally erase all the videos and decide to shoot their own low-rent versions of popular hits. Their project is a great success with customers, but the studios object and Glover gets an eviction notice. One wants to protect this mushy film, but it’s hard not to gag on the cuteness. With Melonie Diaz and Mia Farrow. (JR) 98 min. Kriterion, The Movies, Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt The Bucket List Jack Nicholson is a billionaire Scrooge with terminal cancer, sharing a room in his own hospital with auto mechanic Morgan Freeman— a family man endowed with all the kind, redemptive wisdom Freeman can bring to this piece of Hollywood claptrap. Class barriers vanish as the two become best friends and Nicholson bankrolls a spree in which they indulge their deepest romantic whims: parachuting, car racing and flying across the globe while sampling the emblems of the good life found in TV commercials. I don’t know if Rob Reiner is the one to blame for this atrocity, but he directed and coproduced. (JR) 97 min. Pathé De Munt Cassandra’s Dream After making his best and smoothest drama (Match Point) in England, Woody Allen returns there for one of his most clueless and awkward, outfitted with a standard-issue Philip Glass score. In both cases Allen’s usual hang-ups about class and money lead to conventionally complicated murder plots. Two economically challenged cockney brothers in South London—a garage mechanic and compulsive gambler (Colin Farrell) and a more settled sort who runs the family restaurant (Ewan McGregor)—get pushed into killing a businessman who’s threatening to expose their rich uncle (Tom Wilkinson). (JR) 108 min. Pathé Tuschinski

Control In this biopic on singer/songwriter Ian Cur-

tis, photographer and video director Anton Corbijn dares to be critical: Ian isn’t a tragic hero, but a bit of a wimp who uses his band as an escape from his own incompetence as a husband and father. The film is beautifully shot in black-and-white, though the stark contrasts and grey hues serve mainly to underline the desolation of the Manchester suburbs, and of Ian himself. (BS) 119 min. Melkweg Cinema

The Darjeeling Limited Sometimes you travel through life with some extra baggage. In the case of the Whitman brothers, it’s a luxury Louis Vuitton set that looks colourful and flashy even in India. A year after their father’s funeral, Francis (Owen Wilson), Peter (Adrien Brody) and Jack (Jason Schwartzman) meet aboard a train for a journey of spiritual healing.

The fact that they have not spoken to each other in a year doesn’t prevent them from getting straight into the family’s old dynamics, which involve manic tics, substance abuse and sexual escapades. But soon both the emotional and the physical baggage starts to fall away. Film-maker Wes Anderson (Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums), much like his characters, has found his grown-up voice. This delicious curry comedy is a rich plate for film-goers, entertaining and poignant, just as it should be. (MB) 108 min. Cinema Amstelveen, Kriterion Dunya & Desie A reasonably entertaining parade of ethnic and class stereotypes, based on the TV series and directed by Dana Nechushtan (Nachtrit). With Eva van de Wijdeven as kaaskop teenager Desie and the award-winning Maryam Hassouni as her Moroccan best friend Dunya. In Dutch. 96 min. Het Ketelhuis, Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt, Studio K Earth This full-length documentary version of the British TV series Planet Earth follows a polar bear family, a herd of elephants and two humpback whales in their daily struggle for survival. Directed by Alastair Fothergill (Deep Blue) and Mark Linfield. 96 min. De Uitkijk The Fall Tarsem Singh follows up his visually stunning yet shallow debut The Cell with a film of epic scope, shot on location around the globe and again deliver-

Amsterdam Weekly ing a visual feast for the eyes. Singh financed the film himself, only to see it banished to distribution hell by those shifty Hollywood suits. It’s not an easy film to sell—Singh is prone to sentimental flights of fancy that can leave the viewer high and dry—but if you can stomach the saccharine, it might be worth it for the eye candy. (LvH) 117 min. Kriterion Fool’s Gold Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey team up again after the 2003 How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days. They play divorced treasure hunters who think they’ve found a sunken Spanish galleon off Key West, but their rom-com antagonism fails to buoy this sorry deep-sea adventure. (JJ) 112 min. Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt La Graine et le mulet Sixty-year-old Slimane Beiji has just been fired from his dockworker’s job in Sète, in southern France. He has been living in a shabby hotel ever since his divorce, but does his very best to keep in touch with his children. At the same time, he is having an affair with his landlady and has grown fond of her daughter, Rym. It is Rym who helps him realise his last dream: to run a couscous restaurant.

Tunisian-French director Abdel Kechiche wants to paint a complete family picture. He succeeds, but at a cost: estrangement from Beiji. It’s not until two hours in that we really begin to understand his pain and appreciate his friendship with Rym—just in time for a beautiful finale. In French with Dutch subtitles.

(MP) 151 min. Cinecenter, Rialto

Happy-Go-Lucky Poppy (Sally Hawkins) teaches

kindergarten in North London, lives in a flatshare with her best friend and fellow teacher Zoe, goes clubbing on Friday nights, and is the kind of person who, in the words of Eric Idle, always looks on the bright side of life. For example, she regards the fact that her bike has been stolen as motivation to improve her skills and decides to take driving lessons instead. That’s how she ends up meeting Scott (Eddie Marsan), who’s basically her opposite. Not much happens in Mike Leigh’s latest film, but Hawkins’s Poppy is one of the great characters of the current cinematic year. (MB) Cinecenter, Kriterion, The Movies, Pathé Tuschinski

Heimatklänge Stefan Schwietert’s documentary opens with the Swiss musical cliché: man on a mountaintop, exuberantly yodeling. This enduring ‘Heidiland’ image keeps coming back to haunt this film about three performers whose work couldn’t be less like the stereotype. Avant-garde vocalists Erika Stucky, Noldi Alder and Christian Zehnder have all in their own way managed to take back yodeling for art and soul. Schwietert has a talent for letting artists explain how and where they find inspiration; he follows the three musicians to key sites, where they reflect on their lives and their art. A highly watchable music documentary, gorgeous and engaging. In German with Dutch subtitles. (BP) 82 min. Filmmuseum I’m Not There Todd Haynes’s ambitious and daring new film is a biopic in the sense that it depicts the main events in Bob Dylan’s life and career. But they are not told in chronological order, and Haynes uses six different actors to play the singer. The different performers (including Cate Blanchett, Heath Ledger, Christian Bale and the black actor Marcus Carl Franklin) and the constant moving back and forth in time don’t make it easy to identify with any of the Dylans. But simple identification is probably not what Haynes is after. His film is not about Dylan himself, but about the mythmaking around a pop star. I’m Not There has its moments, but in the end it’s more an interesting audiovisual lecture than an overwhelming cinematographic experience. (MM) 135 min. Studio K Import Export Austrian despair monger Ulrich Seidl cuts between two tales of young adults sinking deeper into poverty. The ‘import’ is a tenderhearted Ukrainian nurse (Ekateryna Rak) who arrives in Vienna looking for decently paid work but winds up cleaning a geriatric ward. The ‘export’ is a Viennese youth (Paul Hofmann) who suffers various indignities while accompanying his filthy-minded stepfather on a trip to install vending machines in the Ukraine. Seidl’s drab long shots have a narcotic pull that keeps this absorbing throughout its 135 minutes, but the final image—a bedridden crone mindlessly chirping, ‘Death! Death! Death!’—is typical of the movie’s knee-jerk grimness. In English/German/Russian/Slovak with Dutch subtitles. (JJ) Filmmuseum

Into the Wild Moving, if somewhat overlong, account of the life of Christopher McCandless, with a bravura performance from Emile Hirsch. At the age of 22, McCandless left his wealthy, dysfunctional family, gave his college cash to Oxfam and took off into the breathtaking beauty of the American wilderness.

What starts as a run-of-the-mill road movie twists into an American Odyssey as, after two years away from it all, McCandless meets an untimely death in the wilds of Alaska. The usual Characters Met Along the Way include Catherine Keener, Vince Vaughn and

Hal Holbrook. McCandless won’t stick with any of them, and gradually begins to unravel in his determined solitude. The film becomes a meditation on the human need for human company, framed against some of the most glorious scenery the world has to offer. A triumph for Sean Penn as a director, backed by a custom soundtrack from Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder. (AD) 140 min. Cinecenter, The Movies, Pathé Tuschinski

19

Ladywood

by Jennifer Lyon Bell

Iron Man Another Marvel icon gets the big screen treatment, but director Jon Favreau makes his share of lousy choices in his uneven take on the superhero CEO Tony Stark. Lucky for him, he has Robert Downey Jr, who singlehandedly saves the film with his portrayal of Stark as a boozing, slightly amoral, womanising rogue who becomes an unlikely hero.

Jeff Bridges tries to steal the spotlight by overacting in a very un-dudelike way, but the rest of the cast (Gwyneth Paltrow, Terrence Howard) accept their status as supporting players to the Robert Downey Jr. Experience. (LvH) Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt

Juno Juno (Ellen Page) is 16. Juno is full of life

and sarcasm. Juno is pregnant. Oops. She gives up the thought of abortion after hearing that her baby has already developed fingernails and instead starts looking for adoptive parents. She finds the perfect couple in Mark and Vanessa. They’re wealthy, nice and Mark might even qualify as cool, since he shares Juno’s taste in music and splatter movies.

Ellen Page is beyond perfect as the wisecracking but friendly Juno, who’s bright, yet young and naïve enough to think that there is no harm in spending time with the adoptive father of her unborn child.

Add a solid script and a great soundtrack and there you have it: this year’s independent American masterpiece. Directed by Jason Reitman. (MP) 92 min.

Het Ketelhuis Lars and the Real Girl An awkward young man in a small Minnesota town (Ryan Gosling) invites his older brother (goofy Paul Schneider) and sister-in-law (Emily Mortimer) to meet his new fiancée, but to their horror and embarrassment she turns out to be made of rubber. The local psychiatrist advises them to play along with his delusion, and eventually the close-knit religious community, moved by concern for the brothers, joins in. I’m not sure there’s still that much compassion in the world, but in keeping with the spirit of the movie, I was willing to pretend.

Craig Gillespie directed a script by Six Feet Under writer Nancy Oliver. (JJ) 106 min. Studio K Lou Reed’s Berlin For those who missed his shows at the Heineken Music Hall last June, or those who attended them and want to revisit one of rock’s most hailed, and gloomiest, chapters, Lou Reed’s Berlin, documenting the live performance of that utterly dark concept album, is given theatrical release.

Director Julian Schnabel, along with his daughter Lola, provided the visuals for the live show (which featured French star Emmanuelle Seigner as Caroline, the album’s most prominent character). The film, shot in Brooklyn in 2006, is a pretty straightforward rock documentary, but the high-octane performance by Reed and his acolytes makes it essential viewing for serious rock fans. Look out for a guest spot by Antony (of the Johnsons fame) and for Steve Hunter’s incendiary guitar solos. (MB) 85 min. Melkweg Cinema La Maison A father in the midst of a divorce (Sergi López of Pan’s Labyrinth) looks at a house that’s up for auction. Gradually his life becomes entangled with the fortunes of Cloé (Bérénice Bejo), the young woman who grew up there, in this drama directed

by Manuel Poirier. In French with Dutch subtitles. 95 min. Het Ketelhuis Meet the Spartans Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer directed this spoof of 300. With Carmen Electra. 84 min. Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt

No Country for Old Men The Coen Brothers’ lat-

est brings Cormac McCarthy’s novel to the big screen, and it’s a shock to the system, simultaneously elegiac and terrifyingly violent. A subversion of the classic lawmen-chase-outlaw genre, the film is shot like a cross between a Western and a horror flick. A Texan named Llewellyn Moss (Josh Brolin) takes off with millions in cash he’s found at the site of a drug deal gone wrong. Tommy Lee Jones is the laconic Sheriff Bell, trying to bring Moss in; Javier Bardem is Chigurh, the Terminator hitman dispatched by the cartel. The Coens give us none of the usual male-bonding, hunter-and-hunted nonsense: Chigurh, Bell and Moss are entirely alone, each in his own way, particularly Moss as the slaughter inevitably catches up with him. A stunning piece of cinema. (AD) 122 min. Pathé De Munt The Other Boleyn Girl Love, sex, ambition, rivalry and intrigue are the keywords of this bodice-ripper set in 16th-century England. Anne Boleyn (Natalie Portman) and her sister Mary (Scarlett Johansson) compete for the love of King Henry VIII, and both end

RUTH VAN BEEK

22-28 May 2008

MISSIONARY ROUTINE We’re a painfully normal, straight couple: we basically do missionary every time. I want to shake things up in bed but it’s really hard to get my boyfriend to even talk about it. Can you give me suggestions for encouraging new positions through action rather than words? - Always On Her Back It’s surprisingly easy to find yourself in a rut. Fortunately, familiar lovers have many avenues for fixing the problem. For a simple change, switch your location. Bed sex probably prompts you to dutifully rearrange yourselves into the same old position. So instead, put the moves on him in the bathroom or kitchen. Whether you end up just making out or going all the way, it’ll play out differently than in the bedroom. Instead of handing him a postshower towel, step in and say good morning. If he hesitates because he’ll be late for work, get on your knees as you whisper, ‘just give me three minutes’ and take him into your mouth. Who’d ever turn that down? Important: don’t put on a fake sexy personality, just be yourself. Once he’s turned on, let him make you come with his fingers, mouth, or cock. Bathroom and kitchen countertops make good platforms for penetration—you can sit facing him, which provides the intimacy of missionary, and when he’s standing up, your dirty bits will likely be at a convenient height.

Back in the actual bedroom, there are a thousand positions to pick from. (For 365 quirky new suggestions, check out Nerve.com’s ‘Position Of The Day Playbook: Sex Every Day In Every Way’.) What do you like about missionary? The intimacy of looking at each other? The clit friction? Or the fact that, like many women, you have a better orgasm when you can relax? If it’s relaxation you’re after, try a spooning position. After you’ve been making out, flip away from him, arch your back, and gently grind your booty into his crotch. Take his hand and guide him to finger your clit. This ought to be enough nonverbal suggestion, yes?

Once you start mixing it up sexually, be extra-sensitive to any nonverbal suggestions he makes. Indulge them if possible. You’re trying to set a new standard in the relationship: All Desires Seriously Entertained Here. The first time he tentatively tries anything new and you enthusiastically join in, things will start getting better fast. ladywood@amsterdamweekly.nl

Amsterdam Weekly

20 up in his bed, but only the manipulative Anne will marry him and become queen. Directed by Justin Chadwick, the film is romanticised and oversimplified, though the sumptuous props and costumes are sure to please period-movie fans. (GR) 115 min. De Uitkijk

Paris This Altmanesque tale, written and directed by

Cédric Klapisch (Chacun cherche son chat), is centred around a male dancer (Romain Duris) who needs a heart transplant and has to come to terms with his fear of death. But he’s the least interesting of the characters who drop by in this interwoven, matter-of-fact assortment of stories—one that, among other things, attempts to elevate ordinary street market workers to sex gods capable of reeling in the supermodels. The dreaded French cliché pops up time and time again, but a fairly uninteresting main character is about all that plagues this appealing Parisian slice of life. Juliette Binoche leads an excellent ensemble cast. In French with Dutch subtitles. (LvH) 130 min. Pathé Tuschinski, De Uitkijk

Persepolis A satisfying adaptation of the autobiographical graphic novel about a girl coming of age in Iran during the Islamic revolution in the 1970s, struggling with everything from tight headscarves to bomb threats. In a cute and comical hand-drawn style, the book’s writer and illustrator, Marjane Satrapi, and her co-director, Vincent Paronnaud, draw parallels between a girl’s passage from innocence to puberty and the violent transition of a civilised country into a fundamentalist state. Even a denunciation from the Iranian government couldn’t stop the screening of this irresistible and intelligent charm offensive. The English, as opposed to the French, version is showing; voices include Catherine Deneuve, Sean Penn and Iggy Pop. Subtitled in Dutch. (MdR) 95 min. Rialto Peur(s) du noir A French animation project about fear of the dark. Graphic designer Etienne Robial asked six cartoonists and illustrators to go deep into their anxiety closet. The result: six scary shorts in black-and-white.

One highlight is Lorenzo Mattotti’s little fairy tale about a dusty Mediterranean village that is suddenly haunted by an unidentified monster. Mattotti draws a desolate, De Chirico-esque seaside town and really makes you feel its burning sun and devastating loneliness. Another is Marie Caillou contribution, about a Japanese schoolgirl being bullied by her classmates. Caillou’s naïve, animeinfluenced visual style combines with hardcore cruelty to yield disturbing results. In French with Dutch subtitles.

(MM) 83 min. Melkweg Cinema

The Ruins Friends on a Mexican holiday encounter an evil force at the site of an archaeological dig in this horror feature by Carter Smith. 92 min. Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt

Shine a Light Martin Scorsese brings his superb eye

(and ear) to a Rolling Stones concert experience. Closer to The Last Waltz than No Direction Home in its structure, Shine a Light intercuts live performances of the band at the Beacon Theatre in NYC with some clips of its members’ TV appearances over the course of their 40-odd-year career. A funny prologue of the band’s interaction with Scorsese adds extra cinematic flair. If you’re not embarrassed to see grandpas Jagger and Richards sweat it out for two hours—with a little young blood, including Christina Aguilera and Jack White of the White Stripes—you’ll be highly satisfied. It’s only a rock ’n’ roll concert movie, but we like it. (MB) 121 min.

Studio K Silk A visually arresting period piece, set in the 1860s, that addresses memory and loss. Michael Pitt stars as Hervé, a young Frenchman convinced by a hustling silk merchant (Alfred Molina) to journey first to Egypt, then to Japan to purchase silkworm eggs, leaving behind his devoted wife (Keira Knightley). Directed by François Girard. In English/Japanese with Dutch subtitles. (JK) 116 min. Pathé Tuschinski

Speed Racer Speed Racer The original animated series started the Japanimation craze that still captures the imagination of our feeble Western minds, but even if you aren’t a big fan of Anime, there’s a lot to love about this rollicking roller coaster of a live-action remake. Young rally driver Speed Racer (Emile Hirsch of Into the Wild) dukes it out with a sinister CEO, with a little help from the mysterious Racer X (Matthew Fox), who may or may not be his older brother. The story isn’t anything to write home about, but a stellar cast and the trademark Wachowski visual flair combine to deliver a film that actually is familyfriendly fun. With Susan Sarandon, John Goodman and Christina Ricci. (LvH) Pathé De Munt Street Kings Another ‘roid-raging dirty cop drama from David Ayer, with a beefy Keanu Reeves as the embittered blue knight. The script is by Jamie Moss, James Ellroy (LA Confidential) and Kurt Wimmer (Ultraviolet); with Forest Whitaker, Hugh Laurie and Chris Evans. (JJ) 109 min. Pathé ArenA Taken A former CIA operative (Liam Neeson) has quit working for the Agency to rekindle the relationship with his estranged daughter. But then this virginal maiden is

kidnapped in Paris by a group of swarthy Albanians who sell her to a lecherous sheik. If Neeson slaughtering droves of shifty-eyed foreigners solely for the untouched hymen of one vapid teenager doesn’t offend you, you might get some guilty pleasure out of this slickly made but ethically questionable film. Directed by Pierre Morel and co-written by Luc Besson; with Xander Berkeley and Famke Janssen. (LvH) Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt Talking Guitars In this different approach to a music documentary, Claire Pijman profiles the New York based Dutch guitar builder Flip van Domburg Scipio.

Jackson Browne, Carly Simon, Paul Simon and Ry Cooder all talk about the man who made their instruments. 73 min. Het Ketelhuis

There Will Be Blood An epic film of intimate proportions about a ruthlessly ambitious oil baron who comes into conflict with a charismatic young preacher in the California desert in the early 20th century. A powerhouse performance by Daniel Day-Lewis as Daniel Plainview netted him a rightly deserved Academy Award, but Paul Dano’s performance as the weaselly Eli Sunday is also impressive to say the least. Don’t let the sprawling length or the emotional investment the film asks of its viewers deter you: There Will Be Blood is a true masterpiece that any serious film lover simply cannot afford to miss. Directed by Paul Thomas Anderson (Magnolia). (LvH) 159 min. Cinema Amstelveen Tricks A Polish coming-of-age comedy directed by Andrzej Jakimowski. In Polish with Dutch subtitles. 95 min. Filmmuseum, Het Ketelhuis Vantage Point At a historic summit in Spain against global terrorism, the US president (William Hurt) is shot, a bomb explodes, and two federal agents (Dennis Quaid and Matthew Fox) rush to find the culprits. This gripping if ridiculous thriller repeatedly backtracks to present the same events from different viewpoints, though ironically it has no viewpoint of its own, just a desire to pile up plot twists and extend a thrilling car chase ad infinitum. If you’re up for good nihilist entertainment, look no further. With Forest Whitaker, Sigourney Weaver, Zoe Saldana and Edgar Ramirez.

(JR) 90 min. Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt Le Voyage du ballon rouge Chinese master HsiaoHsien Hou (Café Lumière, Three Times) has based his first French-language feature loosely on Albert Lamorisse’s 1956 classic Le Ballon rouge. Here the balloon and the story follow young Chinese film-maker Song (Song Fang), who moonlights as a nanny in the house of Suzanne, an edgy, emotionally unstable voice actress (Juliette Binoche in another brilliant, subtle role). Song bonds with Suzanne’s son, but still there’s something missing, symbolised

22-28 May 2008 by the presence of the self-willed red balloon, which peeks through windows and peeps around corners.

In French with Dutch subtitles. (BS) 113 min.

The Movies, Rialto

What Happens in Vegas What Happens in Vegas We all know Ashton Kutcher is into mature women, but that still doesn’t explain why this iffy rom-com was made in the first place. From the start we are informed that Joy (Cameron Diaz) is too uptight, while Jack (Kutcher) is just slacking off. Cue faux-funny sidekicks and a large dose of contrivances and you end up with a film that’s too mean to appeal to girls and too mushy to appeal to guys, and not funny enough for anyone who wasn’t born in the ‘50s. ‘What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ is the expression. The film-makers should have listened. (LvH) Pathé ArenA, Pathé De Munt, Pathé Tuschinski

You, the Living A brutally deadpan comedy by Swedish director Roy Andersson, who seems to have translated the entire range of human misery into a loosely connected series of slapstick gags. His black humor is impressively layered, each layer darker than the last: when a joker at a family banquet insists on performing that old parlour trick of yanking the tablecloth out from under the dishes, he not only shatters a huge collection of crystal and china but also reveals—look sharp or you’ll miss it—a vintage dining table inlaid with swastikas. Andersson’s building block is a static long shot so solidly composed it suggests a panel in a comic strip; the central figure is often encased in his own suffering, and sometimes additional laughs come from a background figure surveying his despair in openmouthed bewilderment. (JJ) 94 min. Filmmuseum Zomerhitte Thirty-five years after starring in the film of Jan Wolkers’ Turks Fruit, Monique van de Ven directs Zomerhitte, based on the final entry in Wolkers’ literary oeuvre. While the photography is lush and the male (Waldemar Torenstra) and female (Sophie Hilbrand) leads suitably luscious and unclothed, the wooden dialogue and clunky crime subplot that plagued the source material also hamper the on-screen version.

This might be one of the rare cases in which the film is better than the book, but since the original novella is one of the least convincing Wolkerian writings, that’s not really saying much. In Dutch. (LvH) 96 min.

Het Ketelhuis

Special screenings The Big Doll House Blaxploitation women’s prison movie from 1971 starring Pam Grier and directed by Roger Corman protégé Jack Hill. Showing in a women-in-the-pokey double bill with Chained Heat (1983), starring Linda Blair. OT301 El Bruto Buñuel retells Frankenstein, sort of, in this 1952 Mexican film. Pedro, a butcher’s boy nicknamed ‘the Brute’, leaves the slaughterhouse to work as a rent collector for a Mexico City slumlord. But the slumlord’s wife is so impressed by his physical prowess (he kills a delinquent tenant with one blow) that she takes him on as her lover. In Spanish with English subtitles. 81 min. Filmmuseum

Le Charme discret de la bourgeoisie Luis Buñuel’s 1972 comic masterpiece, about three well-todo couples who try and fail to have a meal together, is perhaps the most perfectly achieved and executed of all his late French films. The film proceeds by diverse interruptions, digressions and interpolations; one of the things that makes it as charming as it is, despite its radicalism, is the perfect cast, many of whom bring along nearly mythic associations acquired in previous French films. Frightening, funny, profound and mysterious. With Delphine Seyrig, Stephane Audran, Bulle Ogier and Jean-Pierre Cassel, as well as Buñuel regulars Fernando Rey, Paul Frankeur and Julien Bertheau.

In French with Dutch subtitles. (JR) 101 min. Filmmuseum Crude Awakening:The Oil Crash, A Peak-oil anxiety at the NDSM-werf. NDSM-werf

East Side Story All-singing, all-dancing documen-

tary on the history of Communist Bloc musicals. See article, p. 11. Cavia Être et avoir Nicolas Philibert’s sensitive 2002 documentary shows a year in the life of a small, rural one-room schoolhouse, where a dozen students between the ages of three and 11 are taught by a single teacher. In French with Dutch subtitles. (JR) 104 min. Filmhuis Griffioen

The Eye (2002) Sadness and paranoia pervade this 2002 Hong Kong chiller by Oxide and Danny Pang, in which a young woman (Lee Sin-je), blind since age two, begins to see apparitions and foretell deaths and disasters after receiving a transplant of corneas, harvested from the body of a suicide. The real thing, not the throwaway Hollywood remake. Showing in a Saturday late-night horror series chosen by Bregtje Schudel. In English/Thai/Mandarin/Cantonese with Dutch subtitles. 99 min. Rialto Future Shorts This month, the short film series features ‘Metalosis Maligna’, from the promising Dutch animator Floris Kaay; ‘Made Up Love Song’, Nia Vaughan’s music video for the Guillemots; the Oscar-nominated Icelandic short ‘The Last Farm’; and more. OT301 The Hairdresser’s Husband Like his earlier Monsieur Hire, this 1990 feature by Patrice Leconte is a claustrophobic, bittersweet tale of middle-aged sexual obsession. But I enjoyed it more, perhaps because the colors and moods tend to be brighter, with more of a sense of comedy. After 40 years of dreams about marrying a hairdresser, the hero (Jean Rochefort) meets the manager of a hair salon (Anna Galiena) and begins a strangely sensual romance. In French with English subtitles. (JR) 84 min. De Nieuwe Anita

chance meeting with the local drug lord turns his life upside down. He starts delivering to local dealers in exchange for money and protection from his high school enemies. But who will protect Michael from his guardians? Knallhart resembles the 1981 film Christiane F one generation on, and director Detlev Buck has pimped the film’s style accordingly: in the first hour, the shaky images and flashy editing make the film seem too self-consciously ‘cool’. But as Michael penetrates ever deeper into Berlin’s criminal milieu, the film gains power and a surreal intensity. In German with Dutch subtitles. (MP) 98 min. Studio K

L’Age d’or & Las Hurdes L’Age d’or (1930), Luis

Buñuel’s first and most radical feature, was banned for decades, and it continues to pack a jolt. Forsaking consecutive plot, the film is more like an anarchist bomb, starting off as a documentary before assaulting church, state and society—particularly high society— in the name of eros. Except for his 1932 pseudo-documentary Las Hurdes (also showing), this ferocious act of revolt kept Buñuel virtually unemployed as a director for 17 years. In French with English subtitles. (JR) Filmmuseum

Hukkle In György Pálfi’s oddball first feature (2002), a symphony of rural sights and sounds—including the hukkle, or hiccup, of the title—provides the oblique framework for the investigation of a series of mysterious deaths in a sleepy Hungarian village. While the enigmatic narrative hints at retribution for sins committed against nature and womankind, Palfi’s unfettered, omniscient camera slices across walls, soars upward for bird’s-eye views and dives underground. Told almost entirely without words, Hukkle succeeds as a bravura technical exercise with some truly amazing images. (MR) 75 min. Melkweg Cinema

Metal:A Headbanger’s Journey Heavy metal culture is a giant topic, and Canadian anthropologist and fan Sam Dunn has made an ambitious stab at exploring the music’s social, religious and sexual implications.

Many rich topics—the homoeroticism of ‘80s hair bands, Tipper Gore’s campaign against satanic lyrics, metal-stoked church burnings in Norway—are considered and then dropped in this 2005 documentary.

But would you respect a movie about metal that wasn’t excessive? Codirected by Scot McFadyen and Jessica Joy Wise; with Tony Iommi, Lemmy Kilmister, Ronnie James Dio, Alice Cooper, Dee Snider and DePaul University sociologist Deena Weinstein. (JJ) 94 min. Kriterion

Knallhart Fifteen-year-old Michael (David Kross) moves to a gritty Berlin neighbourhood, where he is beaten and blackmailed by the school bullies. Then a

Los Olvidados Luís Buñuel’s discovery of feral youth, made in the slums of Mexico City in 1950. Buñuel’s apparent lack of compassion for his juvenile delin-

quents is what finally makes the film an unusually powerful social document and a disturbing piece of drama. He explains them with neither sympathy nor sentiment, but simply produces the brutal facts of their lives. Gabriel Figueroa, the great Mexican cameraman, contributes a harsh black-and-white image that transcends documentary—it’s real life, only more so. In Spanish with English subtitles. (DK) 80 min. Filmmuseum De stad was van ons ‘The city was ours’: Joost Seelen’s 1996 documentary of the squatters’ movement in Amsterdam, 1975-1988. Historian and Staatsliedenbuurt resident Erik Duivenvoorden will introduce the screening. In Dutch with English subtitles. 105 min. Cavia Taxidermia This new film by Geörgy Pálfi (Hukkle) follows three generations of a strange family: the grandfather practises bestiality, father competes in eating contests and son is a taxidermist who decides to stuff himself. Pálfi says he wanted to use the imaginary language of porn and horror to answer basic questions about human identity. Bring your barf bag. In Hungarian with Dutch subtitles 91 min. Melkweg Cinema Viridiana Luis Buñuel returned to his native Spain to create this 1961 masterpiece, which marked his rebirth as a film-maker of international repute. Mexican star Silvia Pinal plays the title character, a girl about to enter a convent whose confident plans for sainthood are interrupted by her uncle’s (false) announcement that he has raped her in her sleep.

She forges ahead anyway, filling her uncle’s estate with beggars and madmen in an obsessive demonstration of Christian charity. In Spanish with Dutch subtitles. (DK) 89 min. Filmmuseum

Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Mike Nichols’ classic 1966 drama about a volatile marriage, starring Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton. Chosen and introduced by singer Frédérique Spigt.

131 min. Rialto

Amsterdam Weekly

22-28 May 2008

21

Future Shorts Sun 17.00, 20.00.

FILM TIMES Thursday 22 May until Wednesday 28 May. Times are provided by cinemas and are subject to last-minute changes. Film times also at www.amsterdamweekly.nl De Balie Kleine-Gartmanplantsoen 10, 553 5151 Amsterdam Shorts! International Film Festival Wed Amsterdam Shorts—Judge Wed 20.00 Amsterdam Shorts—Shoot Wed 22.15 Amsterdam Shorts—Sweet Wed 22.00.

Cavia Van Hallstraat 52-I, 681 1419 East Side Story Fri 22.00 Eurovision Song Contest Final Sat Heißer Sommer! Fri 20.30 De stad was van ons Thur 20.30.

Cinecenter Lijnbaansgracht 236, 623 6615 Un Baiser s'il vous plait daily 16.00, 19.30 La Graine et le mulet daily 15.45, 19.45, Sun also 11.15 Happy-Go-Lucky daily 16.15, 19.00, 21.45, Sun also 11.00, 13.30 Into the Wild daily 15.45, 18.45, 21.45, Sun also 11.15 Tropa de Elite daily 21.45, Sun also 11.00, 13.00.

Cinema Amstelveen Plein 1960 2, Amstelveen, 547 5175 The Darjeeling Limited Tues, Wed 20.30 Horton (NL) Sat, Wed 13.30, Sun 11.30 There Will Be Blood Thur-Sat 20.30, Sun 15.30 Winx Club en het geheim van het verloren rijk Sat, Wed 15.30, Sun 13.30.

Filmhuis Griffioen Uilenstede 106, Amstelveen, 444 5100 Être et avoir Thur 19.30 Le Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain Tues 19.30 Trainspotting Fri 19.30.

Filmmuseum Vondelpark 3, 589 1400 Astrid Lindgren vertelt Sun, Wed 13.45 El Bruto Mon-Wed 17.00 Le Charme discret de la bourgeoisie Thur-Sat 19.30 Un Chien Andalou Sat 14.00 Le Fantôme de la liberté Sun, Mon, Tues 19.30 Filmbanktour #18: For Your Own Safety Wed 19.30 De Grote vriendelijke Reus Sun, Wed 14.00 Heimatklänge Sat, Sun 15.45 Import Export Thur, Fri, Sun-Tues 21.30 L'Age d'or & Las Hurdes Sun 17.00 De muze daily 19.45, Thur also 21.45, Sat also 14.15, Sun-Wed also 21.15 Los Olvidados Sat 15.20 Tricks daily 17.45 Viridiana Sat 21.45 You, the Living Fri, Sat 22.00.

Het Ketelhuis Haarlemmerweg 8-10, 684 0090 African Bambi Sat, Sun, Wed 14.45 De Avonturen van het Molletje Sat, Sun, Wed 13.00, Sun also 11.00 Dunya & Desie daily 17.15, Thur, Sat-Wed also 19.15, 21.15, Sat, Sun, Wed also 15.15, Sat, Wed also 13.15, Sun also 11.15 Juno Thur, Sat-Wed 19.30 La Maison Thur, Sat, Sun, Wed 19.45 Morrison krijgt een zusje Sat, Sun, Wed 13.30, 15.00, Sun also 11.30 Talking Guitars daily 17.30 Tricks Thur, Sat-Mon, Wed 21.45 Vers! Fri 21.00 Zomerhitte daily 17.00, Thur, Sat-Wed also 21.30.

Kriterion Roetersstraat 170, 623 1708 Be Kind Rewind daily 19.45, Thur-Sun, Tues also 21.45 The Darjeeling Limited Thur-Mon 17.00 Euro Treasure Trove Mon 22.00 The Fall daily 17.15, Fri, Sat also 0.00 De Gebroeders Leeuwenhaart Sat, Sun, Wed 15.15 Happy-Go-Lucky daily 17.30, 20.00 Metal:A Headbanger's Journey Tues, Wed 17.00 El Orfanato daily 22.15 Pippi in Taka Tuka Land Sat, Sun, Wed 14.45 Rec Fri, Sat 0.15 Sneak Preview Tues 22.15 De Spiderwick-Kronieken Sat, Sun 14.30 Tropa de Elite daily 19.30, Thur-Mon also 22.00 Het verhaal van Xiao Yan Sun 11.00, Wed 15.00.

Melkweg Cinema Lijnbaansgracht 234A, 624 1777 Control Tues, Wed 20.45 Hukkle Tues 19.00 The Key/La Chiave Mon 19.00 Lou Reed's Berlin Fri, Sat 19.00 Peur(s) du noir Thur, Sun 19.00 Taxidermia Wed 18.30.

The Movies Haarlemmerdijk 159-165, 638 6016 Be Kind Rewind daily 17.15, 20.00, 22.15, Sun also 12.30 Happy-Go-Lucky daily 16.45, 19.15, 21.45, Sat, Sun, Wed also 14.15, Sun also 11.45 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull daily 17.00, 19.30, 22.00, Sat, Sun, Wed also 14.30, Sun also 12.00 Into the Wild Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 21.30, Thur-Sun, Wed also 16.15, Sat, Sun, Wed also 13.30 De Spiderwick-Kronieken Sat, Sun, Wed 15.00 Le Voyage du ballon rouge Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed 19.15, Sun also 11.15.

NDSM-werf TT Neveritaweg 15, 330 5480 Crude Awakening:The Oil Crash,A Tues 20.30.

De Nieuwe Anita Frederik Hendrikstraat 111, 06 4150 3512, The Hairdresser's Husband Mon 20.30.

OT301 Overtoom 301, 779 4913 The Big Doll House Tues 20.30 Chained Heat Tues 20.30

Pathé ArenA ArenA Boulevard 600, 0900 1458 120 daily 19.20, Thur-Mon, Wed also 12.10 All the Boys Love Mandy Lane Sat 22.30 Alvin en de Chipmunks Fri-Sun, Wed 13.10, Fri also 15.30, Sat, Sun also 10.50 Be Kind Rewind daily 18.10, 20.45, Thur, Sat-Wed also 15.30, Thur, Mon, Tues also 13.10, Sat also 23.30 Bobby Tues 13.30 Drakenjagers Fri-Sun, Wed 14.30, Fri-Sun also 12.20, Wed also 12.40 Dunya & Desie daily 17.00, Thur-Mon, Wed also 14.45, Thur also 21.05 Fool's Gold daily 17.20, 20.15, Thur, Mon, Tues also 12.00, 14.50, Sat also 22.50 Horton (NL) Fri-Sun, Wed 13.10, 15.20, Fri-Sun also 11.00 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull daily 11.15, 12.15, 13.15, 14.00, 15.00, 16.00, 16.45, 17.45, 18.45, 19.30, 20.30, 21.30, Thur-Sun also 10.30, Sat also 22.20, 23.20, 0.10 Iron Man daily 12.30, 15.10, 18.00, 20.50, Sat also 23.40 Meet the Spartans Thur, Fri, Mon-Wed 16.30, 18.50, Sat, Sun also 11.00, 13.20, 15.30, Sat also 0.15 Morrison krijgt een zusje Fri-Sun, Wed 12.25, 14.20, Sat, Sun also 10.20 El Orfanato daily 16.10, 18.40, 21.20, Thur, Mon, Tues also 13.45, Sat also 23.30 Over Her Dead Body daily 13.30, 15.40, 17.50, 20.00, 22.10, Sat, Sun also 11.20, Sat also 0.15 The Ruins Fri-Wed 22.00, Sat also 0.10 Sneak Preview Tues 21.00 Speed Racer (Imax) daily 11.45, 14.40, 17.40 Street Kings daily 21.50, Sat also 0.10 Taken daily 16.50, 19.00, 21.10, Thur, Mon, Tues also 12.20, 14.30, Sat also 23.30 Tashan daily 21.00, Thur, Fri, Mon-Wed also 13.00, Sat, Sun also 17.30 Vantage Point Fri-Wed 19.50, Mon, Tues also 12.50, 15.15, 17.15 What Happens in Vegas daily 11.50, 14.10, 16.20, 18.30, 20.40, Sat also 23.00 Winx Club en het geheim van het verloren rijk Fri-Sun, Wed 12.50, 15.15, Sat, Sun also 10.40.

WEEKLY CLASSIFIEDS

Pathé De Munt Vijzelstraat 15, 0900 1458 All the Boys Love Mandy Lane Sat 23.35 Be Kind Rewind Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 14.30, 17.00, 19.30, 22.00, Thur, Fri, Mon-Wed also 12.15, Sun also 10.15, 12.20, Sat 10.30, 13.00, 15.40, 18.00, 20.30, 23.00 The Bucket List Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 15 45, 21.10, Thur, Mon, Tues also 13.00, Sat 16.10, 21.50 Drakenjagers Fri, Sun, Wed 13.00, Sun also 11.00, Sat 11.20, 13.45 Dunya & Desie Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 12.50, 15.00, Thur, Fri, Sun, Mon, Wed also 17.15, 19.40, Sun also 10.35, Tues also 17.10, 19.20, Sat 11.10, 13.30, 15.50, 18.15, 20.50 Fool's Gold Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 15.10, 17.50, 20.30, Thur, Mon, Tues also 12.40, Sat 16.45, 19.15, 21.45 Horton (NL) Fri, Sun, Wed 12.40, Sun also 10.30, Sat 10.15, 12.15, 14.20 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull daily 12.00, 12.30, 13.15, 14.45, 15.30, 16.15, 17.45, 18.30, 20.00, 20.45, 21.30, Sat, Sun also 10.20, Sat also 23.15 Iron Man Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 12.20, 15.15, 18.15, Thur, Fri, Sun, Mon, Wed also 21.15, Tues also 21.35, Sat 10.15, 13.10, 16.00, 19.00, 22.00 Meet the Spartans Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 14.10, 16.30, Thur, Fri, Mon, Tues also 12.00, Sat 15.00, 17.00 Morrison krijgt een zusje Sat 11.00, 12.50, Sun, Wed 12.15, Sun also 10.15 No Country for Old Men Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 18.40, Sat 19.30 El Orfanato Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 16.00, 19.00, 21.50, Thur, Mon, Tues also 13.30, Sat 17.30, 20.15, 22.45 Over Her Dead Body daily 14.00, 16.20, Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed also 18.45, 21.00, Thur, Fri, Sun also 12.00, Sat also 11.40, 18.40, 21.15 The Ruins Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 22.05, Sat 23.10 Sneak Preview Tues 21.45 Speed Racer Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 18.00, Sat 18.50 Taken Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 12.45, 15.00, 17.30, 19.45, 22.10, Sun also 10.30, Sat 11.30, 14.15, 16.30, 18.45, 21.00, 23.30 Vantage Point Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 21.20, Sat 22.30 What Happens in Vegas Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed 12.10, 14.20, 16.45, 19.15, 21.45, Sat 11.45, 14.30, 17.15, 19.45, 22.15 Winx Club en het geheim van het verloren rijk 21.

READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD Are you a skilled, dynamic person, who has experience in a Sales and Service Centre and do you speak English in combination with Spanish or German?

Then we’ve got the job for you! We are the dedicated callcenter for Air France/KLM. Interested?

Check our website www.cygnific.com and apply.

Pathé Tuschinski Reguliersbreestraat 34, 0900 1458 Cassandra's Dream daily 13.00, 18.15 Happy-Go-Lucky daily 13.30, 16.15, 19.00, 21.40 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull daily 12.00 15.00 18.00 21.00 Into the Wild daily 14.00, 17.15, 20.30 The Last King of Scotland Thur, Tues 13.30 Morrison krijgt een zusje Sat, Sun, Wed 12.30 Paris daily 15.40, 21.15, Thur-Sun, Tues, Wed also 12.45 Silk daily 18.30 Tropa de Elite daily 15.30, 20.45 What Happens in Vegas daily 16.40, 19.10, 21.30, Fri-Mon, Wed also 14.20, Fri, Mon also 12.10.

Rialto Ceintuurbaan 338, 676 8700 The Band's Visit Fri, Sat, Wed 15.30 The Eye (2002) Sat 23.00 La Graine et le mulet daily 18.00, 21.00, Fri-Sun, Wed also 15.00 Paul dans sa vie daily 20.00, 22.05, Thur, Fri, Sun-Wed also 17.45, Fri, Sun, Wed also 15.30, Sat, Sun also 13.20, Sun also 11.15 Persepolis Fri-Sun, Wed 16.30 Le Voyage du ballon rouge daily 18.30, 20.45, Sat, Sun also 13.45, Sun also 11.30 Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? Sat 16.00.

Studio K Timorplein 62, 692 0422, Dunya & Desie daily 17.45, Sat, Sun, Wed also 15.30 Horton (NL) Sat, Sun, Wed 15.00 I'm Not There Thur, Fri 18.45, Thur, Sat-Wed 22.00 Knallhart Sun 20.00 Lars and the Real Girl Thur, Sat-Wed 19.45 Saiyan Chitchor Sat, Mon-Wed 19.00, Sun 17.30 Shine a Light Thur-Sat, Mon-Wed 21.45, Sun 22.00.

De Uitkijk Prinsengracht 452, 623 7460 Le Ballon Rouge & Crin-Blanc Thur, Fri, Mon-Wed 17.00, Sat 14.30 Earth daily 18.30 Lastpak Tues 20.00 The Other Boleyn Girl Sat, Sun 16.00 Paris Thur-Mon, Wed 20.30, Sun also 13.30.

Ads are free, space permitting. They will be posted both to the paper and online. Guaranteed placement is available for a small fee; see our website for details. Ads may be published in English, het Nederlands or whatever language is best for you to communicate your message.

How to submit an ad: via our website at www.amsterdamweekly.nl, by fax at 020 620 1666 or post to Amsterdam Weekly, De Ruyterkade 106, 1011 AB Amsterdam. Deadline: Monday at 12.00, the week of publication.

CUSTOMER SERVICE Opportunities in international companies for multilingual Customer Service candidates. If you speak fluent English plus German, French, Spanish or Swedish, please send your CV to: gabriela@adamsrecruitment.com

CLEANING/IRONINGExperienced and responsible male is looking for more house cleaning/ironing work in amsterdam/amstelveen areas.I’m good and flexible in my work.

My rates are reasonable and can provide good references on request. Tele: 0616578154

UNDUTCHABLES Order Management Representatives Germany, Denmark, UK Customer Service French Bid Pricing ConsulHOTEL RECEPTIONISTS tant Project manager localTwo star hotel downtown ization Accounts Payable looking for young and moti- www.undutchables.nl vated receptionist to work full or part-time. Email (SWISS) GERMANAre you info@oranjetulp.nl for looking for a fun job in the centre of Amsterdam? Are details. you available for a few hours EDITORS PLEASE I per day and a couple of days urgently need help editing and coaching with a project. a week, then we might have Final cut both studio and the right job for you. Salary express expertise wanted. €10/hour. Interested?

Please write to bureau- Please send an email to ironken@guidion.nl or call domela@chello.nl UNDUTCHABLESMexican 0205205379 (Ingrid)

SHORT-TERM SUBLET AV Zuidoost short term sublet until autumn. Furnished flat, no registration, no pet. bthrm wc bdrm dble bed lounge spare bed separate kitchen parking bike car.

4th floor v light green area shop bus metro train nearby. TV printer 2 bikes IT&Tel installed. 760€/mth inc bills elcdnl@yahoo.com 0633097464

AD OF THE WEEK LOVE YOUR LABIA I’m a AMFI student who’s making a documentary about trends in plastic surgery with a focus on genital reduction. Have you had something done and do you not mind talking about it? Please contact: liselot.francken@webmail.hva.nl

JOBS OFFERED READY TO TAKE ON THE WORLD Are you a skilled, dynamic person, who has experience in a Sales and Service Centre and do you speak English in combination with Dutch and/or French?

Then we’ve got the job for you! We are the dedicated callcenter for Air France/KLM. Interested?

Check our website www.cygnific.com and apply.

LOOKING FOR A JOB?Join Europe’s #1 Online Hotel Reservations Company! Now Hiring for Hotel Account Managers, Interns, Credit Controllers, Partner Account Managers, Web Developers, Perl Developers & IT for our A’dam office. Visit our website: Booking.com/jobs OR send your CV to work@Booking.com BOOKING.COM WANTS YOU!No Dutch Needed! Join Europe’s market leader in Hotel Reservations! Reservation employees needed for our A’dam office. PT/FT. Langs. needed: Japanese, Italian, Spanish, French, German, Russian, Turkish, Chinese, Danish, Norweigan and Finnish.

Visit: Booking.com/jobs OR send CV: work@Booking.com.

BOOKKEEPERAmsterdam Weekly has an opening for an experienced bookkeeper on a part-time basis. See advertisement on page 23 of this week’s paper.

WAITRESSES NEEDEDTo work as waitresses in a restaurant on the Damrak.

Need to be flexible, some experience Drop by at Damrak 32, Los Latinos. Email: taliyogev@gmail.com for details.

TV Host and Mexican Commercial Editor French and German Order Management Representatives Accounts Payable Data Specialists with Oracle knowledge Dynamic Sales Advisors Recruitment Consultant Undutchables Amsterdam www.undutchables.nl UNDUTCHABLES AMSTELVEEN Undutchables Recruitment Agency Amstelveen: Customer Service speaking Nordic languages (Wesley) Demand planner (Carmina) Sales support secretary (Morten) Technical support 1 and 2nd level (challenging) (Christine) Payroll administrator Dutch/English E: amstelveen@undutchables.nl BUSINESS DEVELOPER Looking for a motivated Business Developer for company in the centre of Amsterdam. Very nice work environment, great conditions and exciting opportunities.

If you are strategic/analytical, and have a proven track record in sales/business development, send us your CV: anna@adamsrecruitment.com.

HOUSING FOR RENT

SPACIOUS BEAUTY Quiet, very SPACIOUS fully furnished split level apartment in heart of city. Unique design. Loft meets canal house.150 sq m. 2 bedr. 2 bathr. Huge salon. Roof terrace. € 2.500 a month. info: send2momo@yahoo.com 06-42027470 MUST SEE: www.flickr.com/send?nsid= 89068867@N00&set=72157 605049097982

FANTASTIC BUSINESS EARN up to $ 3,250 per WEEK in your SPARE TIME ! Discover the HOTTEST new home business opportunity online! http://fantastic.lawnFLAT IN A'DAM OOSTFLAT chairmillionaire.com/ TO RENT (UN)furnished in SUMMER HELP WANTED A’dam Oost from JULY 1st Looking for a summer job? for min 6 months. 3mins walk Can you speak English, Dutch from Wibautstraat metro and one other language? stop. Sunny, fully equiped 2Want to work with people bdroom apt (100m2) with from all crossroads? Can you wooden floors, Jacuzzi and fix a flat tire? We’re looking balcony. 1600€/1800€ for gezellige people for our un/furnished.Call Jamie rental shops. Interested? 0652688393 or email ejoukova@yahoo.com Come on by any Macbike ROOM shop. 0206200985 ask for Bas. FURNISHED Temp.Rent. (6month) Nice JOBS WANTED furnished room in AmsterCLEANING&IRONINGI am dam Zuid. Call Joan 28 guy looking for more hous- 0647257969 es to clean. Cleaning, iron- ZUIDOOST SUBLET ing, painting. Good refer- Zuidoost immediate sublet ences. 10 euro per hour. alex- until 26.10.08. Furnished flat, holland@live.nl or no registration, no pet. Big hall bthrm wc bdrm dble bed 0643402670. lounge spare bed separate 4 HANDS CLEANING The kitchen parking bikes cars. quickness and efficiency that 4th top floor light green area you need for the cleaning of shop transports. TV printer your house or business. Good 2 bikes IT&Tel installed. references, reasonable 720€/mth inc bills prices. 0642196952 or 4hand- elcdnl@yahoo.com scleaning@gmail.com 0633097464

Amsterdam Weekly

22 APARTMENT AVAILABLE Working abroad, looking for responsible, quiet, non-smoking professional for apartment. Jordaan a view of Westerkerk. Small, but renovated with skylights, CV, wasmach., fast internet, etc.

W/contract, June 15-Oct. 31, possible extension. 700€incl. per month + deposit. ruimte@yahoo.com

HOUSING WANTED LIVING SPACE Greek artist returning to Amsterdam seeks living space from July or August - sharing or own apartment. Please contact Maria Lalou marialalou@yahoo.com NEED A COZY HOME The universe has provided me with lovely places all over Amsterdam. And this is where you my friends come into the picture, if anyone knows of any housing available, please send the info via phone 0614548012 or email.

LOOKING FOR ROOM28 M professional from Italy looking for shared room or apartment in Amsterdam max €500 (possibly less) in quiet, clean place, no smoking, available from June (immediately also ok). Please call Marco at 0642577379. Hartelijk dank!

2BR APT WANTED I’m a grad student from the US coming to Amsterdam for a summer internship. I’m very neat and clean. I’m a nonsmoker with no pets. I need a 2br furnished apt between May 18 and Aug 1. Dates are flexible.

Budget is EUR1250/month. (My company pays for this) Email: veri_pat20@yahoo.com

22-28 May 2008

LOOKING FOR A ROOM I am a friendly German student and will prepare my dissertation in Amsterdam. So I will stay here from now until the end of the year and I am looking for a furnished room (shared). Max. 420p/m. Please contact: k_muel08@ uni-muenster.de. Dank u wel.

BEST MOVING SERVICE man with Van or Truck, with hoisting rope or lift. extra men for carrying. Everything is possible. Call/see; www.vrachttaxi.nl 0644864390 prices from €35/trip

APARTMENT WANTED Young working couple looking for an apt. in Amsterdam for this summer. Period 1 June - 15 September. Max. rent 800 euros all incl, furnished, preferably close to the centre. Call 0654276626 quick service. Contact Lee or 0614040134. on 06 2388 2184 or whiteOTHER SPACES van@whitevanman.nl or see PHOTO STUDIO For ama- www.whitevanman.nl. teur and professional phoSERVICES tographers. Can also be used as meeting or gathering TAX & FINANCE Trying to space. 100m2, €150/day. Pos- get quality advice and save sible to rent photo equip- money at the same time? We ment. High ceilings, good, are specialized in bookkeepnatural light and located on ing and taxes, and guide our WG Plein, adjacent to Over- relations through the entire toom. For appointment and business process. We work more info contact D. Ingel: through a countrywide network with professionals who 06 2883 4224. can help on each issue. Call FOR SALE us for RAAD! 06912217.

DESIGN NAIF CHINALarge GREAT HAIR COLOURIST collection of Naif china by Tints, highlights, colour Villeroy and Boch. Includes changes, creative colours.

9 dinner plates, 12 salad With more than 10 years of plates, 12 small plates, dish- experience, if I can’t do it es, cups saucers, serving then nobody can do it! Now plates and coffee pots. Many at Mctavish Salon in de Pijp. other items. Serious offers Contact Daniel for appointonly please - must see - Cen- ment: 0624137392 or tral Amsterdam, 0621 591 danielsmeets@yahoo.com. I 867 evenings and weekends. also do make-up.

TRANSPORT ENGLISH MAN WITH VAN Can help with removals, big or small, in or outside of the country. Reasonable rates,

WEBSITE + SEO I am individual Webmaster/SEO (Search Engine Optimization) Engineer. Do you need website for small business or

STYLISH WEBSITESStylish, low-cost websites for small businesses and individuals.

Contact us now for a free quotation, to discuss your needs and receive friendly, helpful advice. info@helenolney.com www.helenolney.com 0652 241 460 personal page? Contact me now: gadwordproff@gmail.com Webdesign + SEO = 200euro ;)

CREATIVE CONSULTANT From a logo or a menu, to a billboard, streaming video or dvd, I can help you realize your vision or resolve your creative challenge. One hour NEED A PHOTOGRAPHER? free consult. Just call I am specialized in portrait, 0646238868 or email multifashion and music, check mediaart@hotmail.com www.andresphotography.com contact me for rates and info CLEANING WANTEDExcelat andresinbox@gmail.com lent Dutch, a small company in Dutch tutoring, is look3DLAB GRAPH ANIMATIO ing for Excellent Cleaning in 3DLab is a professional team return for Excellent Dutch of 3D graphic animators, Lessons. Tel. 06-36122870. architects and designers. We TOUR GUIDE I’m a private can offer you qualified 3D tour guide doing tours in visualizations of your archiEnglish/Russian and Polish tectural interventions on inte- at Amsterdam City Centre. rior design, 3D renderings. Interested? call Presentation movies, adver- +31616335429 or e-mail: tise videos and animated samir84@tlen.pl logos for your needs BUSINESS ADVICEAre you 3dlab@mail.com thinking about starting your GROW YOUR BUSINESS own business? Do you have Would you like to attract more a company but administraclients and grow your busi- tion and papers are not your ness? Grab your free special thing? Do you need a business report, “7 Steps to Attract plan, labour from abroad, to More Clients in Less Time!” buy real estate or moving plus a bonus of monthly prof- abroad? Call Tulipany on its tips at http://www.firefly- 0610218271 or email info@tulipany.nl. coaching.com

STUNNING WEBSITES Experienced web designer builds professional, unique sites for very reasonable prices (starting at €300).

Online links to past projects available. Contact Jordan: jordangcz@yahoo.com, 06 3034 1238 QUALIFIED UPHOLSTERER Specialise in traditional and modern techniques including capiton. Give your furniture a new lease on life!

Wide range of fabrics to choose from including leather. Curtains also made to order. Contact Sophie for free estimate. Tel.0641547557 Email.alabonnechaise@yaho o.com www.alabonnechaise.nl

HEALTH & WELLNESS REIKI MASTERCombining the natural healing system of Reiki with Past Lives Memory Regression, NLP, visualization exercises, psychic surgery, and interdimensional healing. Develop yourself, know yourself, heal yourself.

Sessions, treatments, courses. Contact Danielle Ferrari: 0628310125, healingitself@gmail.com

YOGA, SUN & SEAJune 17th24th: Enjoy a wonderful relaxing holiday aboard a traditional style motor sailing CAR MAGNET PROMO- yacht in the calm warm TIONLooking for a cost effec- waters of the Mediterranean. tive way to brand your busi- For more information, please visit www.yogacruise.net ness or publicise an event?

Car magnet promotions offers HEALING Healer is looking you a simple yet powerful for patients. Pain, anxiety, solution. Use your car to pro- feeling tired? The healing energy from my hands will mote yourself whilst you help you. First treatment free; drive.Your own logo or use aftwerwards 20 euro per 30/45 one of the 100’s templates to minutes. promote your business.

HERE 4 U Let me help you www.carmagnetpromotions.c with your challenges and om goals. I offer experience and

BRAZILIAN WAXING Body Waxing, Oxygen Therapy Facials, Conditioning, Acne, Anti-stress, Anti-age. Electrolysis, LHE laser. CIBTAC, BABTAC, CIDESCO, ANBOS. Eerste Jan Steenstraat 109, CALIFORNIA STYLISTI am 1072NH Amsterdam (De a perfectionist and passion- Pijp) www.lindayoungaesate about your hair! SPEthetics.com T: 0640799921 CIALTIES: Beautiful, Rich Color | Gorgeous, Fun Hair- OPPAS GEZOCHT Ervaren, cuts | Styles for Special vriendelijke, niet rokende, Events! BACKGROUND: 6 yrs nederlands sprekende oppas at a wonderful salon in Sanaan huis gezocht voor kindta Barbara, CA. CONTACT: Sima | tel. 0206263942 | je van 1,5. Voor 3 middagen Nieuwe Doelenstraat 3 in de week. Woe., Don., Vrij. (across from the Hotel de 12.30-18.00. Reacties MET l’Europe) foto: miauw@miauw.com

confideniality as a MBACP therapist. We can look at what was, try to accept what is, and create what can be. more info? carolwhite@planet.nl (web site in progress.)

0638567510 MARTIAL ARTS CLASS English-speaking Qi Kwan Do. Combines yoga & self defense. Women friendly.

Works no matter what age, strength, or build. No 2 lessons are the same so you keep motivated. Reduces stress & gets you fit. Every Sat 12.00, Sporthallen Lizzy Ansinghstraat 88 1072RD A’dam. helen.maynard-hill@ qikwando.com.

Amsterdam Weekly

22-28 May 2008 REIKI HEALING Are you feeling low in energy or out of balance? A reiki healing helps to rebalance your energetic system on an emotional, physical, mental and spiritual level by hand positions on the body. For more info please contact Anouk Lambrechts, 06-52305738, info@allesisenergie.com Location: Amsterdam BACP PSYCHOTHERAPY The Next Step? Moved to Amsterdam and brought a shadow with you? We are a team of highly qualified, experienced and professional therapists offering help with emotional problems including anxiety, depression, addictions and trauma. Contact: info@nextsteptherapy, 0207726489, www.nextsteptherapy.nl

THERAPY FOR EXPATS Short and effective. Sessions in English, French, Portuguese and Dutch. www.SixBillionWorlds.com in De Kerkstraat 299, 1017GZ Amsterdam Phone: 0623261214 Email: joris@sixbillionworlds.com HELP YOURSELF Are you listening to yourself? I am listening to you. If you are approaching a difficult moment, contact me for professional Clinical Psychology and Junghian Psychotherapy. 0641969497.

MASSAGE

MASSAGE COURSES Il Cielo Open Day on 16 Mar from 14.00-18.00 at Mirror Centre where you can learn about holistic massage, foot reflexology, craniosacral & energy work, also combinations. Weekly lesson of 4 or 6 hours each. Also meditation YOGA NEGEN STRAATJES workshops. Info il cielo: 06 Classical Hatha Yoga class- 3004 9738 or look es starting in the Centrum. www.ilcielo.org.

A combination of dynamic FOOT REFLEXOLOGYIf you yoga exercises to build feel low in energy or out of strength and flexibility as balance, foot reflexology can well as more restorative pos- recharge your batteries and tures for relaxation. Yin/yang help to rebalance your eneryoga to create a balance of getic system (applying presstrength, softness and flexi- sure to the areas on the feet bility in the body and mind. that reflect the organs of the entire body). Anouk LamTel 0620618059. brechts,06-52305738, PERSONAL COACHINGBe info@allesisenergie.com a happy and successful expat Location: Amsterdam and hire a professional personal coach. For more info HOME IMPROVEMENT go to www.worldwise-coach- WINDSOR DECORATORS Interior/exterior painting & ing.com decorating, flooring, carpenFRIENDLY FITNESS CLASS try, plumbing and gardening.

Each Tuesday 5:30pm in De For good British service and Kazerne, van Ostadestraat a free quote, contact Damien 341. For body awareness and Lapworth: 0634792284 or by maintenance. First class free. email: windsorschilders bedrijf@gmail.com Call Henk 0206251991.

PAINTING Professional Painting 25 years experience for advice and estimates please call 0623245957 CONTRACTOR-RENOVATOR Remodel Expert:complete/custom interior design services. Kitchen & Bathroom specialist. HandyMan Services, Maintenance Packages. Experienced/licensed plumber & electrician available for emergency call outs 24hours. Installation Expert for: CV/Boilers, tile, flooring, lights & more. andy@ssrhino.com

ADSL installation and computer lessons from friendly and experienced Microsoft professional for reasonable price.

Contact Mario: 06 1644 8230 or mariovrbanac@gmail.com

COURSES

GOOD GIRL SYNDROME Are you an independent woman suffering from perfectionism and Good Girl Syndrome?

Join like minded achievers: 1 day workshop, 24 May, Lloyd Hotel, Amsterdam. Covers personal and professional branding, strategic life planning, networking, 200 euros.

Email: marianne@soul-atCARPENTER For all your work.com to secure a place. carpenting and plastering call Thomas Pfanner on 06 WANT TO REFRESH YOUR 1766 1109 (after 18.00, GM FRENCH? Register today at speaking). We deliver a qual- the French Institute, Maison Descartes. Choose from a variity job! ety of courses to improve your RENO-BOUW-RAJCZYK French in a French environHouse Renovations! Do you ment with qualified French need cost-effective and high- Teachers. Free language test quality full house renovation? on appointment. Info: Professional, experienced www.maisondescartes.com, and with excellent refer- franscursussen@maisonences. Online links to past descartes.nl, 0205319501. projects. Call now and ask GUITAR AND BASS GUIfor appointment: 0644517410 TAR LESSONS Guitar and or 0294266585, www.renobass guitar lessons for bouw.nl, karol-rajczyk@hotadvanced, as well as absomail.com. lute beginners in blues, rock COMPUTERS and pop music. I’ll teach you harmony, rhythm and solo PC HOUSE DOCTOR PC playing and give you a 30 HOUSE DOCTOR Specialise minute demo lesson for free. in virus/spyware removal, Call Archie at 020 - 486 1499 h/w, s/w repair, data recovery, wireless, cable/ADSL SINGING LESSONSOn Prininstallation and computer sengracht (Jordaan). Claslessons from friendly and sical voice training, breathexperienced Microsoft pro- ing techniques, vocalization. fessional for reasonable price. For beg & advanced. 1-on-1 Contact Mario: 06 1644 8230. & group lessons. From classic, jazz to rock, all styles.Free PC HOUSE DOCTOR Spe- intro lesson and reasonable cialised in virus/spyware prices. For more info,call removal, h/w, s/w repair, data Michael on 020-3202095, or recovery, wireless, cable/ mail: ajara77@yahoo.com

23

LANGUAGES

MUSIC

DUTCH GROUP COURSE EXCELLENT DUTCH PROFICIENCY in conversation with solid base of pronounciation,grammar+spelling starts Beginners Course/0905-08 to 27-06-08/Fridays/18:30 to 20.00/€ 144,- excl /info: excellentdutch@hotmail.com /o6-36122870/www.excellentdutch.nl

GUITAR LESSONS For beginners and advanced players. Individual and group lessons. All styles & all age. (also for kids) Reasonable prices. Location:Center of Amsterdam For more information call Michael on 3202095.

Or mail ajara77@yahoo.com

IMPROVE YOUR DUTCH! in a study conversation group on Tues or Wednes at 20.0021.30 Also private classes, intensive, conversation, NT2, etc, all levels, starting every week, professional approach, linktaalstudio@gmail.com, Vijzelgracht 53C, Anja 0641339323 DUTCH COURSESLanguage school in the centre of Amsterdam offers inspiring group courses at a reasonable price.

Check out our website www.mercuurtaal.nl or call 6934250 INTENSIVE DUTCHCOURSES at JOOST WEET HET! Classes 4 times per week during 4 hours. Good teachers, fun classes and energetic atmosphere. Small groups, personal approach with emphasis on conversation.

2,3,4 and 8 wks courses. Price: E 8 /hr. Visit www.joostweethet.nl email: info@joostweethet.nl tel: 020-4208146 DUTCH CONVERSATION with GLOSSA on inspiring location in Amsterdam. Small group one week intensive in May. Do you have a basis in Dutch? Do you want to practice Dutch? Do you want to feel more confident in Dutch?

Are you higher educated?

More information and other training options: www.glossa.nl or call 06 1471 5372.

GUITAR LESSONS Experienced guitar teacher has place for new students. I do house visits and teach at your house. mobile:0651920487 martijndebock@gmail.com ELECTRONISCHE MUZIEK These lessons are intended for musicians, composers or technicians who want to develop their knowledge in 20th century electronic music. Pieces from Stockhausen, Xenakis, Nono, Cage and others can be dealt with.

Introductory lessons to this music are also possible. Based in Amsterdam: 064 840 9637

THE ARTS DRAWING AND PAINTING Summer workshops by professional artist, various techniques, all styles, from scratch to painting with oils. Contact joneiselin@hetnet.nl.

LOOKING FOR NEED A CONTRACTOR? Klussenbedrijf ‘De Klus-bus’ for all your: Electricity, tiling, plastering, carpentry, installment of new kitchens, bathrooms and toilets, painting, installation and renovation, floors, wallpaper, and everything else! Call the klus-bus at: 06 1899 1782 or www.klusbus.net mail at: info@ klusbus.net

DESPERATELY SEEKING SHEILA. Need to contact Sheila McCoy originally from Dublin Ireland. Please e-mail john.mccoy1@btinternet.co m or phone 004428 82898616.

SEAN. ARTISTIC WORK PARTNER Humans have many extended bodies. How do culture, communication and language affect the way we percieve ourselves and others?

Wanted: partner for collaboration. Be curious, inquisitive, open for creating network and having fun. I am a 24 y.o. fine art student in Amsterdam.

E: ahillbom@gmail.com

Americans at Democrats Abroad. With monthly DemsFun Drinks, discussions, voter registration and other activities. You don’t even have to be a Dem to join! Go to www.democratsabroad.nl for more info.

PERSONALS JUST GOOD TIMES30 something guy with a bit of looks and brains still looking for a girl with a good sense of humor for music, films, and laughs in Amsterdam. infinity_solo@hotmail.com

WANTED 40+ SEXY LADY Expat, 50+ looking for 40+ lady for spontaneous fun, adventure, dining and sex!

GROUPS & CLUBS Let’s first get acquainted over HEY! YOU AMERICAN?Join lunch or dinner, your choice. the fun with like-minded Contact: kmante@live.com Americans at Democrats NOTICES Abroad. With monthly DemsWHAT IS AN ESOTERIC Fun Drinks, discussions, issue School? Alive, inspiring and groups, and other activities. meaningful in this time and You don’t even have to be a culture. Also for you? The Dem to join! Go to Phoenix Fellowship (Esoterwww.democratsabroad.nl for ic School for Personal Develmore info. opment) welcome you to # OF AMERICANS: 5419Are these open nights in Amsteryou one of the thousands of dam each Tuesday evening.

Americans living in A’dam? www.phoenixdynamics.nl or Join the fun with like-minded Call:0618687959