BOOMERANG PAGE 7 LIFESTYLE

AMUST

LIFESTYLE How to harmonise your married life

Princess R Lakshman

Ideally, a Muslim marriage represents a beautiful, blessed journey of a woman and man united in their values to serve Allah through their soulful companionship and a daily intentional practice of good thoughts, good words, and good deeds.

As a psychotherapist in the Muslim community, I’ve observed a rise in the number of divorces and separation due to disharmony in marriage.

Despite the hundreds of religious texts, practices, self-help books, and podcasts that teach us ways to demonstrate love, compassion, care, and kindness, marital problems continue to soar.

So, what exactly are we failing to understand about human connection and soulful companionship?

Is it that we use words without practising the essence of those words? For example, we use words like love, kindness, compassion, empathy, and so on, but we don’t really understand how to translate these words into action.

Take the following examples:

Husband surprises his wife by cleaning the pantry, but when wife sees the pantry, she tells him off for putting everything in the wrong place. She doesn’t thank him, instead storms off in anger.

Another example is when the husband is glued to his phone instead of helping with household chores and the kids.

Or when spouses are constantly trying to find fault with one another through incessant arguments, bickering, and nagging, grudge-holding, and passive-aggressive behaviours, such as silent-treatment.

These examples show what love, compassion, respect, and kindness doesn’t look like.

So, what does love, compassion, kindness and respect look like? How does one translate these words into action?

It’s in your tone, your gaze, and your touch. It’s in your ability to hold space while you listen to your spouse’s words without judgment or reaction. It’s in your expression of gratitude, first and foremost, for everything your spouse is already doing for you.

It’s in your choice of words – are you accusing or seeking clarification? Are you name-calling? Are you blaming? Are you using respectful words, kind words and speaking them in a kind, respectful tone?

Love, kindness, compassion – these are just empty words unless you translate them into deeds that are in harmony with the es-

One Simple Strategy

Have at least one hour every day with your spouse where you are not on any gadgets – no phones, tablets, laptop, smartwatch, or TV – nothing that you are wired to. Just try to be in each other’s company without depending on any external forms of connection.

Try to soulfully connect with each other. Hold space for an organic conversation to happen and flow. Hold space for your spouse to speak while you listen, without interrupting even once.

Make this a daily teatime or coffee time or juice time or smoothie time, whatever you both prefer. Learn to once again be with each other and learn to enjoy being with each other.

May Allah bless your marriage and keep you safe and healthy. Remember, marriage is all about daily efforts in the actual practice of kindness, compassion, patience, care, love, and respect.

Princess R. Lakshman is a writer, speaker, qualified clinical nutritionist, life coach and a counsellor. She is based in Sydney, Australia.

Save a life through the Sunnah of community wellbeing

Ameera Syed

Islam is one of the fastest growing religions in our century with Muslims making almost 25% of the world’s population and yet our community seems to fail at helping our own hold back from suicide.

The Sunnah of strengthening the Ummah and community wellbeing is one of the core teachings of our faith which many of us treasure in our daily lives.

You may be someone who organises regular gatherings, treats friends like family and warmly greets any Muslim brother or sister who passes you by during your day. A question that remains for us all to reflect on is, how well are we looking after ourselves and those closest to us?

Allah says, “Surely We will test you with a bit of fear and hunger, and loss in wealth and lives and fruits, and give good tidings to the patient.” (Quran 2:155)

Hardship is ingrained into our lives in unique ways as Allah’s Way of drawing us near to Him in worship, but we can also look for aid through the blessings He has gifted us.

According to research conducted in 202021 by Australian Bureau of Statistics, nearly 20% of adults living in Australia experience severe psychological distress at any given time, including 3139 suicide-related deaths.

That’s nearly 4 million people living right here in Australia and unfortunately Muslims are not immune to this.

As Muslims in Australia, we face a wide range of mental health issues, including suicidal tendencies, stemming from stress, stigma, racial/religious discrimination and societal disadvantage as migrant populations.

Most of us force ourselves to strap up our boots and walk on, while many of us are still left behind.

Suicide is a harsh reality many families are facing following the death of their loved ones, but unfortunately their stories only make it a few steps into the community before being shut down as a taboo.

As a community, we have to reach out to our children, brothers, sisters, parents and friends, ask them how they’re really doing (physically and mentally), what is taking up their headspace. Their answer might be a simple “I’m good” but that’s still a good start. Soon, these simple chats open up into conversations that could save their lives without even realising. Knowing that someone cares enough to check up on them can make a big difference on how they view their lives and self-worth. The same goes for yourself. Are you OK? How are you feeling? Is there someone who you can trust to provide support and guidance?

Remember, our Prophet Muhammad (s) once said, “The believers in their mutual kindness, compassion and sympathy are like one body. When one of the limbs suffers, the whole body responds to it with sleeplessness and fever” (Bukhari & Muslim).

The faith and trust we keep in Allah’s Plans are a strong protector against hardships, but it is also important for us to seek for support through the people Allah has blessed us with.

Contact us at www.nzf.org.au/contact or call 1300 663 729. sence of these words.

Re-shaping young people’s mindset

Nesrin Khalifa

Growing up, a question that I was frequently asked by my family and friends was, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And after many years, I realized that this type of question often leads to young people making the wrong decisions regarding their career path.

When you often meet a child for the first time, you unconsciously find yourself curiously asking them what they want to be when they’re older, and you hear answers such as ‘a doctor’, ‘an engineer’ etc. But what’s wrong with such a rephrased question is that it directs kids wrongfully.

This is because children’s response to this question tends to be driven by what their parents expect from them or even what they commonly see around them.

For example, I grew up surrounded by family members working in the medical field, and when I used to get asked this question, guess what my answer was…a doctor, of course!

This is because I was influenced by the people around me, believing that their career path was what is expected and accepted from me.

The right question that we must ask young people is, “Who do you want to be?” or, “What do you want to be known for?”

A question that is phrased this way will allow them to stop and think.

Think about how they see themselves in the future.

Think about what they are passionate about.

Think about what they are good at.

Think about the person they want to be rather than one specific occupation/profession.

This will eventually guide them correctly. How? Because it will open so many doors for them.

It will give them the space so that later, when they’re wiser and know what’s best for them, they find multiple options, not just one specific view, which is most likely to be biased due to external factors influencing them.

Try it yourself! Next time you see a younger cousin, sibling, family friend etc… ask them, “Who do you want to be?” and I bet their answer will be broad and open; such as, ‘a motivational leader’ or ‘a successful team worker’

When they grow up and their time comes to make a decision regarding their career path, they will be able to explore more options, since a leader could be one in any field, in any profession, for any purpose.

Parents and older siblings, cousins and family friends must start shaping younger people’s minds to a more flexible mind-set.

A mindset that includes all types of jobs, opportunities and professions.

A mindset that doesn’t feel obliged to become a doctor, an engineer or a lawyer.

A mindset that throws away all societal expectations and starts embracing something it’s good at, passionate about and most importantly, will help them live the life that satisfies both Allah and itself.

Nesrin Khalifa is a 15-year-old student in Al-Noori Muslim School. She is a passionate writer, public speaker and debater who loves to advocate about various matters that interest her and the Australian Muslim community.

That Good Night

Zayna Siddiqui

Inspired by Do not go gentle into that good night by Dylan Thomas – written by a fisherman from the 20th Century, who loves writing

To the coffee that burns my tongue And the cigarettes that destroy my lungs To the rain outside my window Thank you for sharing my sorrow To my wooden oak messy desk Is it considered to be writer-esque? To the armchair that swallows me Thank you for being my oasis of serenity To the books on my sacred shelves I swear they put me under beautiful spells To the notepads in my drawers Thank you, my mind was always yours To the fireplace that warms my aching soul I confess, sometimes I feel like I’m losing control To the wastepaper bin beside the basket Thank you for keeping my secrets To the ink that stained my bed and hands My precious pen, I’m terribly sorry I forgot to place you on my nightstand To my lamp that accompanies me throughout late nights Thank you for being there for me, both in difficulties and delights To the glittering waves in the sea They’re so pretty, but in the past, they’ve made a fool out of me To the sails on my fishing boat, that catch ferverous winds in my favour Thank you, because smooth seas never made skilled sailors To my spirited shoes that take me far Wandering in the city, wondering how life is bizarre To the ground in which the cobblestones are placed Thank you for the feet you constantly embrace To the blanket that lies on my bed And the pillows at its head To my mattress upon which my body rests Thank you for comforting me, I am blessed To my Creator that has given me the world The ability to observe and be absurd To my five senses and my limbs Thank you, I’m grateful for everything To the stars twinkling above me And the moon shining luminously To the dear reader who has finished reading my poem Thank you, be kind, speak your mind and always try to show your appreciation.

Zayna Siddiqui is a university student currently studying for a Bachelor of Communication. She is an avid reader, a seeker of knowledge, and is passionate about helping others in need.

Showcasing the joy of live theatre

Mehar Ahmad

After several cancellations due to COVID-19 surges in Sydney during the last couple of years, Adakar theatre finally managed to showcase their twin plays ‘Dozakh’ and ‘Mughal Bachcha’ on 23-24 July 2022.

After watching Netflix and YouTube while locked in our homes and occasional trips to cinema when restrictions from COVID-19 eased, it was a great joy to experience live theatre on Saturday 23 July evening at the Nida Theatre in Kensington.

In addition to seeing the play, we were very keen to catch up with many of our South Asian friends who we usually met at such artistic events. We indeed did meet them although it was very difficult to know who was who since all faces were hidden behind veils, women’s as well as men’s.

Due to risks still posed by COVID-19 as well as surge in influenza in Sydney, the Nida Theatre authorities had mandated compulsory mask wearing and ensured strictly that all attendees did so.

The audience in full house inside the theatre had the great pleasure to appreciate the two classic plays ‘Dozakh’ and ‘Mughal Bachcha’ in fine Urdu by highly talented team of artists put together by Saba Apa.

Saba Zaidi Abdi is a well know drama artist based in Sydney who has showcased a number of productions in Australia in the past. A graduate of Aligarh Muslim University, the National School of Drama, India and UTS, Sydney, she began her career at the Indian national broadcaster Doordarshan as a TV drama director/producer back in India.

She has been awarded numerous awards for her productions and designing, notably the National Award for her costume design in ‘Trikaal’, as well as Doordarshan Awards for her plays ‘Wapsi’ and ‘Zewar ka Dibba’.

Recently, Saba Apa had a major role in the AACTA-nominated ABC/Netflix TV production ‘The Unlisted’, the first Australian TV show centred on an Indian family; she has also acted in the acclaimed ABC series ‘The Letdown’.

She is the founding artistic director of Adakar and this is her fifth major production for the Sydney stage. Formed in 2014, Adakar Theatre is a community based not-forprofit theatre and cultural group committed to bringing Australian communities together through theatrical and cultural exchanges.

Both the plays staged depicted bittersweet stories of a bygone era that capture the plight of women confined to live a life of dependency and oppression within the domestic world.

In ‘Dozakh’, two old women seek refuge and joy in each other’s company from their impoverish existence, must face the truth that they cannot live with or without each other – and grapple with the consequences when one of them has to leave.

‘Mughal Bachcha’ is the tale of proud, beautiful Gori Bi and complex, egotistic Kale Mian set against the backdorp of Mughal culture’s fading glory. Among the ruins of Fatehpur Sikri, the lonely Gori Bi spends a lifetime waiting for her husband’s return as her fortunes change.

Both plays were written by Ismat Chughtai, one of the pioneering feminist writers of Indian literature and one of the founders of the Progressive Writer’s Movement in 1930s India.

‘Mughal Bachcha’ is an adapted story of Ismat Chughtai by Danish Iqbal, an award-winning playwright, performer, teacher, writer, researcher, and arts administrator.

To find talented artists who can act as well as render the plays into fine Lakhnawi Urdu in a land far away from our homes, in Australia and showcase our Ganga-Jamani culture is not an easy task.

On top of that persisting in finding the opportunity in a COVID-19 atmosphere inspite of setbacks to keep the group together with encouragement and continuing rehearsals shows the resilience of Saba Apa in staging these shows most successfully.

The quality of acting, use of fine language, classical dialogues, superb costumes were highly admirable and indeed Saba Apa needs to be congratulated for putting up this show. Well done.

Mehar Ahmad based in Sydney is a Public School Teacher and President of Seena Inc, Publishers of the Australasian Muslim Times AMUST.

AUSTRALIA 11 - 13 COVID-19, influenza and winter

Naveed Mohammed

It has been over 2 years now and COVID-19 is still a concern in the community. While the spread of the COVID-19 virus was ongoing for the past 2 years, the trouble from influenza was lesser and also got unnoticed. But, this winter has been a nightmare for many households throughout Australia.

Both influenza and COVID-19 are respiratory illnesses. Similar symptoms between the two viruses include a runny nose, sore throat, fever, headache, and exhaustion.

Both COVID-19 and influenza can cause varying degrees of illness in individuals. Some people may be symptomless, have minor symptoms, or have a serious illness.

When a person with COVID-19 or influenza coughs, sneezes, speaks or breathes, droplets and aerosols are released into the air. People nearby—typically within one meter of the sick person, but occasionally much farther—can get the droplets and aerosols in their eyes, noses, or mouths.

By contacting contaminated surfaces, and then touching their eyes, nose, or mouth without washing their hands, people can also contract COVID-19 and influenza.

According to the health.gov.au website, “Australians are being encouraged to take on winter by receiving their flu shot and staying up to date with their COVID-19 vaccination. The new ‘Take on winter’ campaign reminds people we are more vulnerable to illnesses this year and it’s safe to have both COVID-19 and influenza vaccinations at the same time.”

People with chronic medical conditions, older adults, and pregnant women should be very careful as they have a higher risk of getting infected. Compared to influenza, COVID-19 is much more contagious and spreads more quickly.

Australia has done well in limiting COVID-19 when compared to several other nations. International and state border restrictions, sporadic lockdowns in select areas, and a very effective initial vaccination launch have reduced the impact of illness to a greater extent.

Our communities should step up their efforts to preserve population immunity through booster vaccinations and appropriate preventative measures for the remainder of the winter.

We need to make sure that our COVID-19 and influenza vaccinations are current.

Avoid crowded areas at all costs, and when we must, we should use a mask. We must continue to cover our faces when we offer Juma prayers in a mosque.

Simple routines, such as washing hands and coughing or sneezing into a bent elbow or tissue, can have a big impact. Let us try our best to stay protected this winter.

Naveed Mohammed is a Digital Marketer, a sports enthusiast and a community worker based in Auburn, NSW, Australia.

Significance and importance of Dua

Qasim Abbas

In this perishable world, humans face many sufferings and hardships. Some sufferings and hardships come from nature, and some result from their own deeds.

They try to overcome these hardships through various means. Finally, they remember their Lord and call on Him, making supplication or Dua to Allah.

Humans remember and call on their Lord when they do not find other means to overcome their sufferings and hardships. In addition, they call on their Lord on specific occasions, sad or happy, like marriage, childbirth, family deaths etc.

This practice is common almost in every

Our Rocky 2020

Aneesa Sultan

I’m gonna tell you the terrible story of 2020, When devastating things happened too quickly! First it was the fires! It made us lose what we desired. Then, COVID-19, was really mean, Especially because it’s so unclean. When the fires stopped, we were certainly glad, But then the floods came, we were all mad. This tells us to be prepared, everyday, or else anything bad can come your way- how sad! But don’t you dare lose hope, Because, i’m sure your life has many things, That are totally dope!!

Aneesa Sultan is a 10 year old Sydney based student who loves writing creative pieces, narratives and short poems. religion.

Calling on Allah:

In Quran, Allah, Himself orders His slaves to call on Him and He will hear their prayers.

“And your Lord has said: Pray unto Me and I will hear your prayer.” (Quran 40:60)

“Call on your Lord with humility and in private: for Allah does not love those who trespass beyond bounds.” (Quran 7:55)

“And When My servants ask you concerning Me, I am indeed close (to them): I listen to the prayer of every suppliant when he calls on Me: Let them also, with a will, Listen to My call, and believe in Me: That they may walk in the right way.” (Quran 2:186)

“Who listens to the (soul) distressed when it calls on Him, and Who relieves its suffering, and makes you (mankind) inheritors or the earth? Can there be another god besides Allah? Little is that you heed?” (Quran 27:62)

Allah’s nearness to believers:

“And surely, We created man and

We know what his soul whispers to him, and We are nearer to him than (his) jugular vein.” (Quran 50:16)

Every believer makes

Dua daily:

Making Dua to Allah is performed by a believer daily, more than once. In daily collective Prayer, a believer recites Surah Al

Fatihah a minimum of 20 times and a maximum of 48 times.

Surah Fatihah is compulsory in Prayer. Ayats 4, 5 and 6 of Surah Al Fatihah, in fact, is Dua, which is as under:

“You alone do we worship, and to You alone we turn for help. Guide us to the straight way. The way of those on whom You have bestowed Your blessings. Not of those who have been condemned (by You), and nor of those who go astray.” (Quran 1:4, 5 and 6)

Dua – a worship of Allah:

To make Dua is also worship because the believer, while making Dua, remembers Allah with His beautiful names, Asma-ul-Husna like Ya Ghafurur Raheem, Ya Arhamar Raahemeen.

Thus, reciting the beautiful names of Allah is, in fact, worship.

Understand what you are reciting in Dua:

Try to understand the meaning of Dua while making Dua in Arabic. This will bring believers closer to Allah as they understand what they are reciting.

Qasim Abbas is Chartered Accountant, Cost Management Accountant, Arabic Scholar, multi languages writer and writing newspapers columns based on Quranic Verses.

How to prevent Osteoporosis

Dr Ghazala Kirmani

Are You At Risk Of Developing Osteoporosis?

Do You Know What To Do For Your Bone Health?

Many individuals are unaware the bone loss starts at an early age, however, develops faster in middle and/or older age. Lots of bone mass is preventable.

Who is at Risk of developing Osteoporosis?

Women who Are thin and slight smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, little exercise, have little calcium in their diet, high coffee intake, have a poor diet in general, lack hormones due to menopause and who take cortisone tablets are at risk of getting osteoporosis. is often first noticed when a bone breaks due to fall. The best test to find out about density of bone is DEXA scan.

What can you do about it?

Actions you can take to prevent yourself from obtaining this condition is; take regular weight bearing exercise such as walking, stop smoking, cut down on alcohol and caffeine, have adequate calcium in your diet (recommended 1000 – 1500 mg daily), eat calcium rich foods such as milk, dairy products, fish, citrus fruits, sesame and sunflower seeds, almonds, brazil nuts, hazel nuts and tofu. poro- tic bones, they can be prevented by; removing loose or worn carpets and scatter rugs, wearing low heeled shoes, holding on to railings when using stairs, installing safety bars in the bathroom, using night lights to provide improved visibility, being cautious while consuming drugs(especially sleeping pills/tablets) and having good eyesight, regular eye checks are advised. These are the methods to prevent an individual from falls. After all, it has to be taken into consideration that Osteoporosis is common in women, however, also usually occurs to men. It is only preventable by lifestyle modifications.

Dr Ghazala Kirmani is a qualified doctor from India and is based in Sydney. Worked for Priority care health solutions as an Injury Management Advisor. Runs Health and wellness workshops at House of Sakinah educating Women on health issues.