Colby Disorientation Guide 2018

FRANCO-SOMALI RELATIONS IN LEWISTON (pg. 5)

THE FATE OF THE NATURAL WORLD (pg. 8)

POLICE REFORM FOR DUMMIES (pg. 12) September 4, 2018

OUTSIDE colby Editors-in-Chief Carolyn Jones Amya Bhalla

TABLE OF CONTENTS Emotional in an Academic World?

Mattie Wyndham 3 Recognition of Passion Minji Ko 4

Aaron Canter

Speak Up Holly Lauren Garcia 5

Copy Editors

Accessibility and Transportation Camille Owsley 6

Layout Editors

Maddy Albert Himanshu Bhurtel Aaron Canter Angela Fernandez Jane Franks Sophie Pederson

It’s Worth it to Go Erin Maidman 7 Stawberry Jam: History of Student Activism Amya Bhalla 8-11 Rich Kid World Dylan Shaw 12

You can think of it as alternative hazing...because it is coming from a place of love and support. We want first-years to be prepared for the challenges of college by hearing upper-classmen who have experienced them. This publication is not intended to scare, threaten, or shame, but merely to support and care for first years-- show them that they are not alone, and they are not the first.

Brought to you by Outside Colby, a non-partisan political publication dedicated to informing students about different opinions on controversial issues in the United States and around the world.

Our goal is to increase political discourse and debate at Colby, and serve as a forum for different points of view to be heard.

2 Outside Colby

Nightmare in Gingo-Land Nizar Kaddouri 13 When They Say Liberal Arts, They Mean it Rachel Ryan 14 Anxiety Sucks Jane Franks 15 Cut To Me Stacking Piles of CDs Tom Crisp 16 When a Campus Isn’t Made for You E Hopf 17 Jewish at Colby Sarah Rockford 18 Openly Straight Ben Webb 19 Secret Heroes Carolyn Jones 20

EMotIoNAl iN An aCAdeMIc WorLd

By Mattie Wyndham

F

oss is a place to cry. Over food. Spread out on a

mirage of loneliness watching your friends smile on the dance

coveted booth. Running up the stairs and into the

floor as you wonder how they got so good at pretending; a

alcove of Woodman, atop the trash bins as friends,

sustained anger at all the violence — structural, corporeal,

classmates, strangers, abusers walk by. Foss is a place

psychological — present here and in the world; the relief of

to cry. With your friends. Away from your friends. Watching a

finding home in a person, or people, only to accept that one

couple fall in love as you sit alone still rubbing your lips clean

day this home might leave you. If you do not have a name

of Saturday’s party.

for your emotion, if you cannot yet answer why it is you are

The Feminist Alliance / Women of Color Alliance room is

crying, this is okay. All your emotions are valid.

a place to cry. On the couch underneath former students’

Your affect and your emotions are your own. Most likely,

drawings of vulvas and when you are wrapped in the arms of

you and I will experience a different Colby. I think, though,

people who become older sisters, best friends, secret keepers.

that it is important to learn how to express your emotions,

I find this room to be a particularly good place to cry.

whatever they may be, and whenever they might occur. You

The Chapel in the middle of the night. Multi-Faith Alliance.

Miller stacks. Any dorm elevator, probably, even if you’re not a resident, is just a good place to cry.

must also be responsible for your emotions. This is a tightrope I am still learning how to walk.

You are about to go through so many changes, and it is a

The Dana booths are tried and true places to laugh-cry —

common mistake to pretend like you are fine. It is okay if you

either because your joy becomes unbearable or because you

are not fine. I do not have a how-to guide on the precise steps

tell the self-deprecating story too many times and your body

to follow when you’re about to lose it in the dining hall, or in

finally tells you the truth.

the middle of class, or in the middle of Pughpalooza, or any

The bathroom floor is a cold place to cry, but someone will

other public event. But I can suggest that when you feel like

find you and someone will hold you. You are never alone on

a body made of only raw little nerve endings that you treat

the bathroom floor of the women’s restroom on a Friday night

yourself kindly. What a special place this can be, to feel so

at Colby College.

much. You are soft and tuned into your surroundings. You are

All of these suggestions are incredibly personal; they are

open to the melancholy of a blue-grey quad, sensitive to the

based off my own experiences, and most of these moments

undercurrent of another’s hello. Your heart can be an intense

that I vaguely refer to are from my first-year at Colby. It was a

place to call home, but still, I recommend it. You will do some

time of political violence at Colby, and some of this violence

of your best work there.

was deeply personal. If you want a full history, please talk

I offer this urgent advice to let yourself feel, truly, really feel!!

to me and other seniors. We all have our own relationships,

with the knowledge that feeling so much alone can be quite

viewpoints, and hot-takes on the multiple incidents.

awful. I learned to love Colby because of some incredible

I am writing this because being openly emotional on this

seniors who showed me kindness and warmth and community

campus is both inevitable and extremely taxing. The academic

and what my future could hold here. Three years have flown

world largely ignores our affective lives. What a shame it

by and now I am in their place. I hope I can do the same for

would be if you were to do the same.

some of you. I love Colby. For all its faults, I have found home

This campus is not just for grinding out papers and lab

here. If you are in need of some guidance, some friendship,

reports. If it were, we wouldn’t be paying so much money. This

some warmth, or anything of the sort, please reach out to me.

is your home for the next four years, and you will feel, with

Message me on Facebook at Mattie Leila Wyndham or e-mail

any luck, a restless peace watching the snow fall, endlessly,

me at mwyndham@colby.edu.

by Johnson Pond; a tugging mourning for the person you were when you first arrived on this campus, which is to say, more

Trust the process. Welcome to Mayflower Hill. I am eager to watch you grow.

innocent and naïve and a bit blurrier; a particular kind of September 4, 2018 3

REcoGnITiOn oF pASsiON

By Minji Ko

A

fter I recently graduated from a high school where students participated in all forms of art, music, academic clubs, and athletic teams, experiencing Colby’s culture was a shock. I came to Colby expecting to see students with equally diverse and vibrant breadths of interests. But instead, I was confronted with an attitude of apathy towards activities other than sports, and saw that this apathy even stemmed from students within non-athletic clubs.

As Colby is a small liberal arts school in rural Maine, I unfortunately anticipated some deficit of ethnic, sexual, and economic diversity. But perhaps, in some ways, the more shocking lack of diversity that I experienced was the overarching homogeneity of interests. This homogeneity was masked by the efforts of the admissions marketing teams on social media and on the Colby website that showcased students who demonstrated an impressive list of interests and activities. These efforts implied that Colby students were enthusiastic about a variety of causes and activities. Furthermore, the club fair for first-year students at the beginning of the year that was filled with enthusiastic club presidents and members only justified the marketing team’s claims.

As I began to settle into the routine and structure of the new school year, however, I was disappointed to see that the scope of students’ passions was much smaller than what I expected. Many clubs advertised at the club fair appeared to be, in reality, skeletons of executive boards whose club members rarely cared enough to attend meetings regularly. On the other hand, athletic teams dominated social scenes and dining halls, and many people seemed to only see merit in the title of the “student athlete” rather than seeing “student athlete” and “student musician” or “student artist” equally. Students seemed to think that the time and effort that it took to perfect one’s performance in a sport superseded the same dedication required to refine an artform or publish a research paper. The only 4 Outside Colby

“diversity” I saw on campus was a variety of interests among the eight-hundred students who played the thirty sports the college competes in.

Although I was discouraged by Colby’s lack of diversity in all its manifestations, I was most disappointed by this overarching apathy within a given pursuit, specifically, within non athletic pursuits.

Coming from a strong musical background, I pursued music seriously and participated in rigorous chamber music before coming to Colby. My friends who were in my ensembles were committed and passionate, and this dedication was reflected in their music that inspired even nonmusicians in concert. Rehearsals lasted long after predetermined end times, and they consisted of hour long discussions over the execution of a crescendo or a technical marking to better reconcile the intentions of the composer and our own interpretations of the music. At concerts, the audience would be filled with both teachers and friends who had no reason to attend but to support my craft and to experience the art that is classical music.

This level of dedication was the norm that I had come to expect not only in music, but also in other activities and causes. However once I arrived at Colby, I was confronted by rehearsals cut short by athletic rehearsals and homework. And to my dismay, the turnout at musical performances consisted of a handful of Colby students among many older Waterville residents and Colby faculty.I was discouraged to see that the greater student population was uninterested in recognizing the value of the work their peers were putting in to pursue their crafts in addition to being full-time academics. Apart from the special few, many students didn’t seem to hold much regard for the student creator as they did for the student athlete.

Being a part of this apparent minority of artists caused me to assume that the majority of Colby students were disinterested and indifferent. But as it turns out, I was wrong.

RECOGNITION OF PASSION, continued page 21

SpEaK Up

By Holly Lauren Garcia

A

s someone from the south, having never

It is here, at Colby, I’m learning how to talk about my

experienced snow before, I wish Colby would

differences and how to educate people about their ignorances.

have done more to prepare me for some of the

Taking part in heated debates about different identities has

greyest months of my life. I understand that

forced me to realize who I am and what I stand for. Looking

Colby needs to protect its image and present the best parts

back, conversations about race and gender have been

of the hill to prospies (prospective students); however, once

extremely difficult, especially when my viewpoints differ

we’re in and have agreed to spend the next four years of our

from my professors. It can be terrifying to share an opposing

lives in the Northeast, they need to be real about the winter.

opinion, but I hold onto the idea that “if I don’t say it, then

My friends and I were not fully prepared for the snow, let alone

who will?”

the blizzards that hit our first year. We didn’t know about black

When the conversations become too much, I turn to those

ice and how easy it is to slip and fall until we actually did.

who I know will support me and tell me my thoughts matter.

We didn’t know that wearing several pairs of socks actually

I lean on professors whose courses I haven’t even taken, but

cuts off circulation causing your toes to feel more frozen.

who I have chosen to build a relationship with out of mutual

And we definitely didn’t know the first thing about sledding,

respect and common interests. Many professors have open-

snowshoeing, or skiing.

door policies, meaning whenever they’re in their offices, I can

While none of this knowledge seems detrimental to our

pop in to ask questions or to chat about life. I also lean on staff

learning, it did make us feel different. Being

members who I see on a daily basis, like the

different may seem like a hip part of the

dining staff, custodians, and librarians. They

mainstream, but there is nothing trendy about being the only black person in a sociology class that’s discussing the performance of

“ IF I DON’T SAY IT, WHO WILL? ”

African Americans in U.S. public schools. As someone from Miami, having spent most of

are the backbones of this community and hardly get enough credit for it. Additionally, I lean on deans that I’ve chosen to share my story with and come to when Colby feels like too much to handle.

my life surrounded by people of color, I never realized that I

Like any other college campus, we have incidents of hate,

was a “POC” until I set foot in the whitest state in America--

but what has surprised me more than the acts of ignorance and

Maine. I had never contemplated what being mixed or having

violence is how our community responds to those behaviors.

tan skin meant until my freshman year of college. Having spent

I have seen students ban together through walkouts, vigils,

more than half my life “out of closet”, it was tough to suddenly

rallies, and other uplifting events. During hard times, the

be in a place where others are afraid of their sexuality getting

leaders of the Pugh Center and it’s club members are the ones

out. And as young adult struggling with multiple chronic

who organize and provide not only support, but opportunities

illnesses, living in mountainous Maine became the biggest

for all Colby students to get involved and share their voices.

challenge of my life.

And while professors can’t help it if I’m the only black, queer,

Think about the few minutes it takes you to walk across

student from the South in their classes, they can be willing

campus in time for your next class. What if those few minutes

to listen to what I have to say. It’s true-- some professors have

felt like hours? And what if during that time period your body

biases and they definitely show in the classroom. Yet, there

was burning as if you were on your last leg of a marathon. This

are also professors who open to hearing your criticism and

is how I feel every time I reach an incline, which is all the time

who want to know when they’ve spoken or behaved in an

since our address if 4000 Mayflower HILL. Next time someone

offensive way. I encourage you to speak up when you see or

shows up late, don’t just assume they were being lazy or that

hear something that you don’t fully understand or agree with

they could have left earlier. Some of us don’t always have the

because it is through our voices that Colby’s community will

privilege of walking without wincing.

change for the better.

September 4, 2018 5

ACceSsIBilITy aNd TrANsPorTAtiON

By Camille Owsley

W

hen I arrived at Colby, I was told that there would be transportation options for students without cars.

While this can be an issue for any student lacking their own transportation, I found to be especially bad my junior year.

For my entire college career, it has been difficult to leave campus to run errands, so I need to find alternatives such as Amazon. However, Amazon cannot get me to a doctor’s appointment. I had to go three times a week and had no way of getting there. I went to the health center and was given two taxi vouchers, one for each way.

Those were great as long as I booked more than 48 hours in advance, which was not possible given my doctor schedule.

The vouchers are also limited to five per semester.

I knew I needed another alternative.

However, Uber, Lyft, and Via are not based in Waterville, so you can only catch them by chance. The Jitney works on a set schedule that does not always work with the appointment times available or the locations of those appointments. The Shuttle didn’t go close to where I needed to get to, so I was pretty much out of options.

I tried other companies and that worked for about a week, but eventually they just stopped working or answering calls. At this point I completely freaked out and turned to my friends. They went above and beyond getting me to and from all of my appointments

several times a week for months.

I was at the mercy of my friend’s schedules and am incredibly fortunate that they were willing to help and had the time to do so. Not everyone is so lucky.

I can understand the school’s policy in not providing on the spot transportation for every individual student.

However, the transportation challenges make it incredibly difficult for a chronically ill student to get medical care.

That information was never given to me or others when coming into Colby. In fact, we were told that there were several options for leaving campus and otherwise getting around the Waterville area. While students in general have more collective transportation, last year led to a decrease in options for specialized visits.

Before then the security office would take students to doctor’s appointments if necessary. That policy has been changed.

Accessibility has been limited and it can be challenging to get around or generally be productive members of the Colby community. I found it difficult to be my most productive when I am in pain and unable to get relief because I cannot get to a doctor.

I ended up having to build a system once I really needed it, however, it would be advisable to have one already built before an emergency. I would recommend finding different ways to get transportation so that when you need to, you can go to the doctor or the store.

“ACCESSIBILITY HAS BEEN LIMITED AND IT CAN BE CHALLENGING TO GET AROUND OR GENERALLY BE PRODUCTIVE MEMBERS OF THE COLBY COMMUNITY. I FOUND IT DIFFICULT TO BE MY MOST PRODUCTIVE WHEN I AM IN PAIN AND UNABLE TO GET RELIEF BECASUE I CANNOT GET A DOCTOR.”

6 Outside Colby

IT’s WOrTh IT to GO

By Erin Maidman

T

hey warned you at orientation that Maine winters

me both sort through my transforming mental landscape and

would be hard. They’ll remind you of it again in

realize that a lot of the barriers I was coming up to as I tried

the Fall, and, on the night of the first snowfall,

to get better were rooted in deep-seeded habits of mind that

everyone will be talking about it. But trust me

needed challenging. With him, I was able to develop practices

when I say that you will not understand how hard they are

that allowed me to start managing what we later realized was

until you’ve lived one, no matter how much warning you’ve

bipolar disorder. By and large, he and I have done some of the

had. You won’t understand how the ambiance of the Spa

most important work of my life, and I still see him today, three

changes when it becomes a sanctuary of warmth between

years later.

the dining hall and your next class. You can’t wrap your mind

Not everyone has this kind of experience with the

around just how trapped you might feel after walking the same

counselling center—that much is clear. As a former CA, I can’t

snow-packed sidewalks on the same routes to the same places

count how many times I’ve accompanied a distressed resident

every frigid day for months. You read my words here and they

to the counselling center only to have them get pushed back

make sense to you, but you won’t understand what I mean

to an appointment over two weeks away. I know of plenty

until it happens.

of people who don’t click with their first counsellors, and I

My experience with mental illness at Colby looked a

know some people who don’t think any of them can provide

lot like this. I knew what the signs and symptoms of depression

adequate care given the limited appointments offered. But I

were, but I didn’t know how visceral they would feel. Dozens

also know that the counselling center has saved at least two

of people had told me how they “couldn’t get up in the

of my friends’ lives—perhaps more literally than anyone

morning” when they were depressed and how badly it would

would like to admit—and I know that they do more work on

make them feel about themselves, and I listened with as much

students’ behalf than most students ever see. It is the mental

empathy as I could. But when I woke up, starving, beneath

health resource we’ve been given by our college, it’s free, and

the covers of the same bed I’d been laying in for sixteen hours

it’s a damn good place to start.

prior, looking up at a white ceiling and futilely willing myself

I attribute most of the counselling center’s shortcomings to

to stand for the hundredth time that day, I finally understood

its atrocious understaffing. I blame the college for overlooking

what it means to be unable to get up. And I still felt so utterly

its importance on this campus. In my experience and the

dejected at the thought. They told me I would feel that way,

experiences of several friends, Colby has done right by us

but such warnings didn’t make my helplessness sting any less.

with regards to our mental health in many ways: they’ve

Without the counselling center, I would not be at

accommodated us in the classroom, hired really amazing

Colby today. When I put the pieces together and realized that

counsellors, and contributed programming and other resources

I was depressed, I called and got an appointment within the

geared toward destigmatizing mental illness. However,

week. The first counsellor I saw didn’t mesh with me at all,

the facts remain that Colby has had a significant increase

but I quickly and easily switched to another counsellor that

in students utilizing the counselling center but no increase

I’d seen in group therapy for a previous issue. He took me

in staffing or accessibility. Frankly, if Colby valued mental

seriously and asked me questions with sincere interest. He

health services like it says it does, it’d put its money where its

referred me to the psychiatrist on campus and I was started on

mouth is. Yet I keep referring people to the counselling center

medication for general depression. As I kept seeing him, he

because it’s fucking hard to own up to the fact that you might

learned all about me, remembered things I told him, and made

need help, and people who do ought to have access to quick

connections for me. Most importantly for me, he repeated

and meaningful care as soon as they’ve built up the courage to

back to me the words that I was using to characterize my

admit it. The counselling center is a free and accessible on-site

behaviors and attitudes, and he asked whether or not I thought I was being fair to myself. Usually I had to say no. He helped

IT’S WORTH IT TO GO, continued page 21 September 4, 2018 7

StRAwBerRy JAm

By Amya Bhalla

H

istory is in the eye of the beholder, so picture

even known about these protests and my fellow students’

this: 200 students packed in the lobby of the

accomplishments had it not been for the website started in

student’s union, which at the time (early 90s)

2001 under the guidance of Education Professor Mark Tappan.

was Roberts Hall. They are holding posters and

College campuses are unique in that the majority of people

chanting together in mass demonstration, all while the board

that inhabit them cycle out every four years. The result is a

of trustees meetings proceeds only one thin wall away.

dynamic place that changes drastically in composition, yet

I was introduced to this scene while reading Earl Smith’s

somehow manages to stay the same. Perhaps that is because

history of Colby College, Mayflower Hill. As a Social Justice

of the static nature of the few people who control it. However,

Intern at the Library’s Special Collections, I thought it would

to focus on them would be a loss as they are not the everyday

be useful to read the history of Colby College to learn more

of life on campus. Students, professors, and staff members are

about past student activism. But in Mayflower Hill, Earl Smith

the everyday of Colby, and their lives are the people’s history

writes more about the “strenuous” effort the administration

of Colby College.

had to put into “managing diversity” (342), than he does about students’ struggles and their organizing.

How do we ensure that their stories remain here? Colby College, like any other place, has been, and still is, a site

He writes that “students clogged the lobby and stairwell

of

Roberts

Union”... even though the administration was giving them “new opportunities for dialogue, students said there

wasn’t

enough”.

of

“THERE IS MORE TO STUDENT ACTIVISM THAN UNSATISFACTORY SUPPLY OF STRAWBERRY JAM.”

Of course, “Cotter, ever

struggle

and

protest.

Unfortunately, there is a limited

pool

available

of

openly

resources

that

allow people to find that history. As a result, most of it is passed down as word of mouth or, sadly, lost.

We

need

a

tool

for

eager for the facts, leaned

younger generations who

over

find themselves up against

the

railing

and

called for an example. Someone from down below yelled that

the same issues as those that older generations faced before

despite repeated student complaints, the Roberts Dining Hall

them. And if the administration will not write our stories, then

had been out of strawberry jam for a week” (Smith 343).

we will write them ourselves.

Smith’s account of student activism, along with being sparse,

People’s History of Colby is an online historical collection of

is so clearly doctored to the advantage of the administration

protest and activism at Colby. Its goal is to provide a resource

and deliberately makes students appear like spoilt, hyper-

for students, faculty and staff at Colby, which can allow them

sensitive, wolf-crying duds.

to inform their current work on struggles and achievements of

History is biased, we all know that. But I want to give you,

the past. Please check it out at http://web.colby.edu/activism/

my dear first years, both sides of this story. Surprise! There

and take a look at the 3 decade timeline in this disorientation

is more to student activism than unsatisfactory supply of

guide -- I hope it somehow influences your time at Colby.

strawberry jam.

Protests in 1994 and 1999 had a larger attendance and accomplished more materially than the one Smith chose to write about. These protests, conveniently left out of Mayflower Hill, focused on issues that lower income, first generation, and students of color faced on campus. I would not have 8 Outside Colby

COlBy Students begin campus devision of Students Organized Against Racism (SOAR) and soon has over 100 memebers

90’s Students protest lack of student representation in the administration during trustees meetings in Roberts Union

1992 1994

Students of Color United for Change demand multicultural housing and better treatment for students of color on campus.

Pugh Center Opens as a result of the 1994 protest by Students of Color United for Change

1994

A series of anti-Semitic crimes sparks a large rally against hate crimes on campus.

1997

1999

With demands aimed at fighting institutional racism, Colby students stage a sit-in at President Cotter’s office.

September 4, 2018 9

COlBy

00’s 2002

A group of students of color, in coalition with a group of queer students, organized a silent protest against institutional racism and heterosexism at Colby during the spring Board of Trustees meeting. Calling themselves the “Coalition for Institutional Accountability” (CIA).

Insensitive Cinco de Mayo party invite on Facebook sparks protest

2008 2008

Students, faculty, and staff occupy the Pulver Pavilion to protest racial insensitivity at Colby.

10 Outside Colby

2003

The Posse Program begins at Colby, in which the organiization, Posse Foundation, recruits and trains diverse students who have superb leadership abilities and extraordinary academic potential for enrollment into the best colleges and universities in the United States.

2008

2009

A Hawaiian Lu’au theme for the First Day of Loudness sparks controversy.

Two male students of color are assaulted by Security in the Pugh Center. The incident sparks a week of protest, dialogue, and an official investigation.

COlBy Push for a gender, sexuality resource center

10’s 2011

Mules Against Violence (MAV) is established by students to raise awareness and promote conversation about sexual violence and masculinity at Colby.

2011 Uzoma Orchingwa ’14 premieres his new film, “Black on the Hill,” which documents the experience of students of color at Colby.

2012

“Hate is Not a Colby Value” protests in Spring of 2011 – in response to homophobic vandalism

2013 2013 Students affiliated with “Reclaim Colby.” unexpectedly step up to the microphone in Lorimer Chapel following President William “Bro” Adams’ Bicentennial Address on February 27th.

2014

A team of students premiere the film “Bicentennial,” which explores race, social class, and learning differences at Colby

United for Better Dining Services (UBDS) officially active in February

First SOBHU organized die-in

2015

2016

Students and faculty come together in response to a number of racist posts on Yik Yak concerning a Black Lives Matter protest

A student physically harassed in a homophobic encounter in the Alfond Apartments, alleged rape goes unpunished, and three students of color are assaulted on an off-campus party bus - all leading to an unprecedented number of students and faculty taking to the civil discourse to voice their opinions on the chain “Beware What You Practice…”

2017 Students organize Melanin March in April

Maine March for Racial Justice takes place in October, organized by Colby students

September 4, 2018 11

RIcH kID woRlD

By Dylan Shaw

A

re you poor? Or at least think you’re poor? Or even just felt poor? Don’t worry, you’re not alone. But also: Worry. Because you’re in rich kid world now. You’re a rich kid, even if you’re not.

There are a few kinds of poor: There’s below the poverty line, there’s hovering above the poverty line, and there’s what I like to call the poor middle class.

The poor middle class like to pretend they’re middle class, but one family emergency or mistake will put them back for years. There’s also the fake poor: those who have lived in middle to upper class but have been surrounded by those with higher income and assume that they’re kinda poor.

These are the kind of people who think 16k is a lot of financial aid. Then there’s everyone else at Colby, which is… a lot of people.

Freshman year, Colby can be a culture shock. You could grow up saving everything you have to help out with bills. Every purchase throughout life could have its own weight to it. But not at Colby. At Colby, everything seems to be about excess. Living large and not being afraid to flaunt it. And of course, if it seems like a lot of people are flaunting, you have to too, right?

Or if you’re not, at least act like you are. Pretend money isn’t an issue. Not necessarily in your actual spending habits, but in how you phrase your speech. It’s not that you can’t afford to eat out, it’s that you’re too tired. It’s not that you can’t afford a functional smartphone, it’s that you like the simpler charm of your dumb phone, or living without one at all.

You wouldn’t want to complain about these things, because you’re sure there’s always somebody who’s worse off than you. But some people won’t

always have this sense. It can feel at times that your peers will simply forget that not everyone around them is rich, because you’re in rich kid world. There are poor people here, but the point of rich kid world is to pretend you belong when you don’t. So that’s what you do.

There’s a very odd pressure here. Nobody in particular will make you feel lesser because of your family’s income. But that’s probably because people wouldn’t know. Because people don’t talk about money. Because it’s somehow taboo.

Because people from different income backgrounds don’t often know what living with a different income is like. Both poor and rich people forget about wealth discrepancies.

People don’t talk about it, and most people won’t know how.

You’ll eventually find people who are in a similar situation to you, and it may be a breath of fresh air. You’ll suddenly have a glimpse outside of rich kid world, if only for a fleeting moment. Chances are, you’ll find yourself losing this glimpse pretty quickly and being pulled back into the bubble world of Colby. Some people don’t live in the world where going out to eat twice in one month is a mistake. Some people don’t live in a world where going out to eat once a year is a mistake. Some people don’t live in the world where $500 is the difference between being able to attend Colby and having to take a semester or more off. Some people don’t live in the world where the fear of dropping out to help your family with bills or medical payments looms over you.

Because this is rich kid world, and in rich kid world, “poor” is forgotten.

”THERE ARE POOR PEOPLE HERE, BUT THE POINT OF RICH KID WORLD IS TO PRETEND YOU BELONG WHEN YOU DON’T. SO THAT’S WHAT YOU DO.”

12 Outside Colby

NIgHtMAre IN gRInGo-lANd

By Nizar Kaddouri

I

f you’re an international student, these first few weeks

in the winter, was a dreadful experience. Roads to and from must seem like a rollercoaster. During these confusing Colby were not pedestrian-friendly, and the jitney was often times, allow me to briefly share some thoughts on my overloaded. There was generally little to see around anyway.

Life on campus was also boring. Every building looked the first year at Colby and the challenges of culture shock. same, and meeting friends often meant cramming ourselves My honeymoon with Colby and America ended on into small doubles or triples in Pe-Wi and East. Colby truly move-in day. I woke up to the noise of cars and desperate felt like a bubble on the edge of a world that had nothing parents trying to move furniture into their child’s room. My to offer. I resigned myself to staying on campus, which only roommate had brought his whole room with him, spread worsened my wellbeing. I felt stuck, and time gradually lost across three cars. For someone who came here with two its meaning. suitcases, this seemed absurd.

Many of these issues eventually improved or became Domestic students were going around asking each insignificant, but one stuck other about people they around through the years: knew at God-knows-what school in Massachusetts.

MY HONEYMOON WITH COLBY AND feeling different. I felt like an alien, the whole time.

Everyone was bonding AMERICA ENDED ON MOVE-IN DAY. ” Colby culture seemed so over American football, monolithic. People came baseball, Boston, or basically from the same places and everything I was unfamiliar did the same things. Money with. Everyone seemed so meant little to many students. happy and excited, and firstyear events kept the Hail Colby’s coming. I felt trapped in my Athletes and frat boys had little regard for public property.

I paid from my own pocket to cover for my CA’s cocaineisolation. What the hell had I gotten myself into… induced vandalism.

I thought the start of courses would bring more I heard people speaking of visiting my home country positivity into my life, but it simply aggravated the situation. for spring break while I would be stuck on campus. I felt After being told time and again about academic rigor in the disdainful looks from people I had never interacted with, US, classes at Colby felt like a wet fart. I was stuck in classes and when there was an opportunity for domestics and that slowly and repetitively introduced topics I had already internationals to mix, each stuck to their respective camps. It studied. Throughout international orientation, we were told seemed certain that I didn’t belong, and was just brought in about the need for frequent participation in class. I thought for good PR and diversity numbers. it would mean engaged discussion among students, but (you Colby can be an extremely disappointing experience if you’re guessed it at this point) no! Many people raised their hands an international student. Life here may feel more restrictive only to rephrase what the professor just said. During group projects, I was shocked to notice how I sometimes spoke and than what you were used to in your home country. If you already feel alienated, remember you’re not the only one. Find wrote better English than some Americans. For most of my a support network to keep you sane. first year, the academic experience spectacularly failed to

“

meet my expectations.

Classes were not everything though. I knew there was a life to live outside, but what was out there? Trees, empty roads, and old people. This is a broad simplification, but it’s what I saw when I first came here. Going to the supermarket, the movie theater, or Downtown, particularly

Most importantly, be loud and unapologetic, because the person you are and the place you come from still exist, distinct from this bubble of red bricks and snow. Things get better. You’ll learn to shut out the bullshit and focus on the silver linings.

September 4, 2018 13

WhEN tHEy Say LIbeRAl aRtS tHEy MeAn iT

By Rachel Ryan Before you ask: no, I did not vote for Trump. Yet here I am, writing an article in an attempt to bring a change to Colby’s future political climate for anyone not an aggressive liberal. I use the term “aggressively liberal” purposely, to explain that this narrative isn’t just for Trump supporters or those who see themselves as extreme conservatives. No, this narrative is for anyone that is on the spectrum from extremely conservative to moderately liberal. If you are not the most liberal, then you might have a hard time having a voice at Colby like I did. I’m not alone in this theory, but sadly, few students are willing to speak up about their lack of voice due to the aggressiveness of Colby’s liberal political climate. So here I am to tell my story, in the hopes that future Colby students won’t be afraid to speak their mind like I was during the majority of my time at Colby.

I spent a large portion of my Colby experience being utterly confused. This is because my entire life I have been tormented for being a liberal. That’s right, you read it correctly. At every family reunion, I was tortured with ridicule at being a liberal (I’m from Alabama FYI).

I believe in gun control, LGBTQ+ rights, immigration reform, and better access to health care. I assumed this meant I was a liberal. Turns out, this was a foolish assumption.

When I came to Colby, saying I was from Alabama was similar to painting a big, bright red target on my back. I lost many friends because of their need to prove I deserved this target. I was everyone’s favorite person to fight with over politics. It almost felt like they were seeking me out just to remind me I would never be liberal enough to fit in here. So not only was I the stupid liberal at home in Alabama, but I was also the radical conservative at Colby. Professors would almost goad me into debates in class as if I was nothing but the girl from Alabama- the conservative.

Example: Last year, I was asked by a professor to moderate the Republican Gubernatorial Debate because they couldn’t find another student to do it. The 14 Outside Colby

girl who was tortured for being a liberal was apparently the only “conservative” they could find at Colby to run this debate. How was I moderating this debate when I voted for Hil-dog and saw myself as liberal?

Well, I never found the answer and after moderating the debate I received quite a few “side-eyes” from my peers even though I didn’t agree with the majority of what was said in the debate. This judgment from my peers used to scare me. I was constantly afraid to say anything because no matter what I said, no matter how liberal my opinions were, I was never liberal enough for them. I would always be rejected because I occasionally disagreed. These reactions eventually made me quiet due to my fear of making anyone angry at the slightest hint of my opinions not directly aligning with theirs.

This feeling of having no voice was a large part of my experience at Colby for a long time. And please don’t think I didn’t try to find another way to experience Colby. For example, I attempted to join a Colby club that was focused on faith and spirituality. I’m not religious but this, I thought, was far enough away from politics that I could be safe. Boy, was I wrong. At these club meetings, we were often prompted to discuss how our faith made us activists, which, of course, brought up politics. I was very frustrated at this point, because I’d come here to understand people outside of politics, yet here it was: the ever present and overbearing liberal political atmosphere.

After this experience, I came to a realization. Nothing I could do would change this atmosphere. I told myself, being quiet won’t help because you’ll never not be from Alabama. They won’t stop seeing you as a crazy conservative because you think political correctness might have gone too far. So, I honestly learned to just stop giving a sh*t. My advice to future Colby students is to not worry too much and don’t lose your voice.

You’re not stupid because you believe something different. You’re not a bad person because you’re not WHEN THEY SAY..., continued page 22

ANxiETy SUcKs

By Jane Franks

I

was a sophomore at Colby when I had my first panic at-

away, and was told that the first available appointment was

tack. I had always been a very anxious person, but I dealt

in three weeks. I get that counselors are busy and that more

with my anxiety by keeping myself as busy as possible

emergent issues take precedence, but three weeks was a long

and not letting myself think too long about it—maybe

time to wait for someone who had never sought help before

not the healthiest way to go about it, but it worked for a while.

and didn’t know why she was crying all the time.

I never took medication or talked to anyone. I thought I was

I pulled myself together as best as I could and then went

fine and that it was perfectly normal to not be able to fall

to my appointment, during which the counselor asked me if

asleep because I was fixating on everything from the lists of

I was just overreacting to a bad grade. I questioned whether I

things I needed to get done to hypothetical situations/interac-

was overreacting and quickly decided that I was not, in fact,

tions/confrontations I might experience the next day.

“being dramatic,” and that there was an underlying problem

My first panic attack happened in the dining hall. I think

that was causing me to be so tightly wound and unhappy.

its catalyst was

I went to two

something dumb

more

like

(the second with

getting

a

lower grade than I expected on an assignment from a professor that I respected. ing

Feel-

extremely

fragile (and angry with myself for feeling that way), I went to lunch, where one of my friends made a snide remark that typically

“ I CALLED RIGHT AWAY, AND WAS TOLD THAT THE FIRST AVAILABLE APPOINTMENT WAS IN THREE WEEKS. I GET THAT COUNSELORS ARE BUSY AND THAT MORE EMERGENT ISSUES TAKE PRECEDENCE, BUT THREE WEEKS WAS A LONG TIME TO WAIT FOR SOMEONE WHO HAD NEVER SOUGHT HELP BEFORE AND DIDN’T KNOW WHY SHE WAS CRYING ALL THE TIME.

sessions

the same counselor

and

the

third with a different one, who was as equally unhelpful as the first) before going home over thanksgiving and talking to a psychiatrist

in

my town, who prescribed anti-

would

anxiety medica-

not have affected

tion and put me

me in the slightest. I felt super overwhelmed and I basically

in contact with a counselor who helped me come up with

shut down; it felt like everything that I was doing was sud-

ways to cope with my anxiety and its effects.

denly too much, to the point where I was debating on whether

Two years later, I am now a much happier senior, who is not

or not I could make it to class that afternoon. For the next few

randomly crying while making breakfast. I have never been

days, I would cry randomly — I’d be putting cream cheese on

back to the counseling center at Colby, and sincerely doubt

my bagel and feel tears on my face for no apparent reason,

that I will ever go back. I don’t know if the counselors I saw

which made me frustrated because I had no control over my

are still there — I’ve heard from some friends that there are

emotions and stress levels.

some great new staff members, but I just wanted to share my

I called my mom and told her what was going on, and she

experience so that if anyone else feels disheartened by their

asked if I was having suicidal thoughts (I wasn’t), and then she

interactions with the counseling center, they know that they

told me to make an appointment with the counseling center

are not alone and that there are other options.

(shout out to my mom, who rocks, by the way). I called right September 4, 2018 15

CUt To mE StaCkINg PIleS Of CdS

By Tom Crisp

D

uring September of my Freshman year, I discovered about four thousand CDs on the floor of the college’s radio station.

Then October happened. By the time November rolled around, I had removed myself from two of my classes and basically failed a third. Don’t get me wrong, my guilt was enormous...but standing in one of WMHB Radio’s dusty and disrepaired rooms, all but flunked out and staring down thousands of unshelved CDs, I felt calm. In that pile of CDs, I saw a future for myself. I saw a space where I could quietly pursue my own goals for the next four years, and that was all I really needed.

The first thing that I would tell you, you lucky freshman thing: Do not mistake external responsibility for external validation.

At Colby, you will meet with people’s ideas unrealized and talents both precocious and immature. Be patient, as you will watch these ideas come to fruition and these talents develop and blossom. Be discerning, those that boast perfection or present themselves as invulnerable are forgetting not only the inestimable charm of humility, but further, that the true pleasure of realizing one’s ideas and perfecting one’s talents do not lie in one’s ability to announce them, but rather, in their ability to quietly and contentedly chase them.

For some, the tendency to seek disproportionate validation is exhibited externally, with a vapid digital presence, or an unnecessary occupation of social space which masks an insecure, projected reality. As a student here, you will never be somewhere where it will be easier to see success in others and understand the relationship between your life and their own, their success and yours, their body; their demeanor; their wealth; their confidence; their femininity; their

masculinity, and your own. If I could beg you to consider one thing, it is that you will be forced (fairly consistently) over the next 4 years to make these comparisons constantly and discriminately, and that this will have a very real impact on your psyche.

For me, that impact came quickly and caught me unprepared. The fall of my freshman year, this unhealthy habit of making needless comparisons came to a fore, and the semester yielded one B and one D, which, despite being my best effort, landed me in (academically) boiling hot water. For the last 2 weeks of November, I had spent the best part of 7 hours a day sorting about 4,000 CDs by their release date and their genre, and then placing those CDs back onto the long-undisturbed shelves of Colby College’s radio station.

Due to the largess of one of my professors, I managed to remain at Colby. However, it had become abundantly clear that my passion for learning, and what that learning then manifested itself as, were completely at odds… and I can assure you, I was far more interested in the latter.

The radio gave me reason to keep pushing, and each semester since, I have been presented with more and more reasons to believe that I made the right choice to stay. Taking ownership of my own mental health, along with a new, material responsibility at the radio station provided me with a deep understanding of the rich mental benefits that come with external responsibility, and the tempering effect that such a relationship can have on one’s own (natural, healthy and understandable!) tendency to constantly question their own sense of social and personal belonging. Finding a space in which you can be free from this pressure, and be validated intrinsically, not contingently… that’s fucking key.

THE RADIO GAVE ME REASON TO KEEP PUSHING, AND EACH SEMESTER SINCE, I HAVE BEEN PRESENTED WITH MORE AND MORE REASONS TO BELIEVE THAT I MADE THE RIGHT CHOICE TO STAY.

16 Outside Colby

CUT TO ME STACKING PILES OF CDS, continued page 22

WhEN a CAmPus ISn’T mADe fOR yoU

By E Hopf

W

hen I first got to Colby, bright-eyed,

Example: If I were to hypothetically be having a crisis, do bushy-tailed, and hopeful, I could only you have any resources you would point me to?

I know one and two on my list are very closely imagine college would be what I had been told in admissions brochures. related, but I do want to add something: If you have My guesses were about as wrong as they could have been. mental or physical illnesses and are worried about how I hope that what I write, and what everyone else in this they will affect your academics, talk to the disability guide writes, will make the potential disillusionment and services coordinator, Kate McLaughlin. Ask what kind of frustration with Colby a gentler process than it was for documentation you need to provide to get accommodations. me. I have three topics I’d like to address here: mandatory It can be a scary and arduous process, but it is so important reporting, mental health, and being a trans person on campus. to have help. Some professors are really great about your Orientation taught me that there were mandatory accommodations, but some of them require a little more reporters on campus, but I thought it was only in regards to pushing, and it’s so important to have your someone in your sexual misconduct, because I hadn’t heard anyone talk about corner to help you with that when you’re having a tough it in any other context. In the first few days, I went to tell time.

I am a nonbinary trans guy. From even before I got my CA that I was self-harming and suicidal (even though I here, I was bumping up was trying so hard not to against an infrastructure give in). It felt important that had no room for to have someone in the someone like me. From building who knew where I AM A NONBINARY TRANS GUY. FROM first year housing being I was at mentally, just in EVEN BEFORE I GOT HERE, I WAS BUMPING assigned by biological case I needed her help. sex, to gendered Side note: she UP AGAINST AN INFRASTRUCTURE THAT bathrooms, the school rode with me to the ER did not provide a space later that fall when it HAD NO ROOM FOR SOMEONE LIKE ME. ” on campus that I could became necessary, and I exist in, so I had to am so grateful I had her make some. support. Your CA’s can be There are now 40 gender-neutral restrooms on such an important resource for you, and I highly recommend campus, and we’re pushing for more. Despite some of the going to talk to them, even if it’s just small-talk. problems we’ve addressed, there is still a lack of visibility for This conversation was more of a summary than an trans people and the obstacles we face on campus, and that emergency; however, when she asked, “Do you feel like invisibility can be crushing. In such a cissexist society, you hurting yourself right now?” I didn’t want to lie to her, so I don’t have to go far to hear, see, or experience something said yes. That feeling never really goes away, even if I wasn’t hurtful. But there are spaces and people who are supportive actively planning to hurt myself that night. This admission of and caring. If you need help, advice, someone to rant to, or the danger I posed to myself meant that my CA had to call just someone who gets it and doesn’t make you feel so alone, Security, resulting in an awkward conversation that led to you can email my club colbycollegetrc@gmail.com. It’s so me talking my way out of a trip to the hospital. I really did much better here when you have people around you who get not want to go to the hospital in my first week here, whether it. it would have helped me or not. I’m not telling you to keep

“

your pain secret. Rather, if it is not an emergency (or even if it is), you can talk to mandatory reporters in hypotheticals.

September 4, 2018 17

JEwiSh AT coLbY

By Sarah Rockford

I

f you aren’t at least a little disoriented at Colby you’re probably zombie sleepwalking your way through college. Being suddenly de-contextualized from your family, community, high school and sense of place is a strange experience. All the more so if you come to Colby and find yourself representing a small religious minority.

I came to Colby as a “Feb Frosh” in January of 2012.

By the time I arrived in Waterville from Dijon, France (and originally from Denver, Colorado) I felt like I’d spun around so many times I no longer knew which way was up. Everything was new, different and confusing. I’d never seen LL Bean Boots in my life, but they seemed to be part of the standard uniform. I, on the other hand felt like Dorothy with red slippers on— very, very far from proverbial Kansas.

Growing up in a Conservative Jewish household, my family life was structured around tradition. With two working parents, Friday night Shabbat dinners were the only meal of the week we all sat down to a meal together. Time and space organized themselves around Jewish tradition in my family, and when I arrived at Colby, I found a curious hole where the ambient noise of my family life and Jewish tradition used to be. I remember feeling unsure of how to assert who I was, where I came from, and what I believed in as part of this mass of new students. Finding Hillel gave me a landmark with which to orient myself, and establish who I was, and in what direction I was moving.

A friend dragged me to my first Hillel Shabbat dinner... thank goodness they did.

I found my peers who loathed Matzah for Passover like I did rather than the non-Jewish students who ate it for sport and thought it was “kind of good”. Eat it for a week straight and we’ll talk. Having a tribe of people didn’t make college smooth sailing, but it certainly gave sense and order to the identity I was building for myself as a student.

Hillel also gave me a platform from which to create the kind of spaces I wanted to see on campus—things 18 Outside Colby

no one else was offering. The cornerstone of this platform was Shabbat dinner, which we made for thirty students and a few faculty each week. A simple Shabbat meal became a powerful tool to not only feed people, but to create room for conversation and a respite from the frenetic pace of academic and social life at Colby—a sacred time apart.

Several years hence, Jewish life at Colby and in Waterville has continued to grow and evolve. Several years after graduation, I am back working in this same community—now as the program coordinator for the Center for Small Town Jewish Life. In fact, there are so many people and institutions here for students it’s hard to keep them all straight. You might have to quit school (or graduate and then come back as staff) in order to attend all of the Jewish events and offerings at Colby and in Waterville.

Here is a primer on who we are, what we do and how to find what you’re looking for: The Center for Small Town Jewish Life- The Center offers programming and student leadership opportunities that create opportunities to work in the Jewish community off campus, and build relationships with other Jewish students and people across the state of Maine.

The Jewish Studies Program- Colby offers courses on everything from biblical Israel to the State of Israel to Jews in the State of Maine. You’ll also find many opportunities to learn about Jewish subjects outside the classroom.

Hillel- Colby Hillel is the home of Jewish life on campus. From home-cooked Shabbat dinners and High Holiday celebrations to social events and learning, Hillel provides a Jewish community and rabbinical support to students at Colby.

Beth Israel- Beth Israel is the synagogue in Waterville. Students attend services, observe holidays, and collaborate with the congregation throughout the year.

Students are always welcome at Beth Israel events, and JEWISH AT COLBY, continued page 22

OpeNlY sTraIGhT

By Ben Webb

T

he culture at Colby tends to drive people into the closet. A good friend who graduated two years ago described the gay scene at Colby like this: All of the (predominantly white) males are so deeply attached to their privilege, that while they may come out in a couple of years, for college they are going to bask in their priv-

ries of my small group of queer friends. The truth lies in how comfortable you are with yourself; Colby does a poor job of making it known that you are welcome and loved, no matter who you are. I would like to think that I’ve made my own community of welcoming, and I know that you can as well.

“COMING INTO COLLEGE I WASN’T FULLY COMFORTABLE WITH MY SEXUALITY, AND THE LAST THING I WANTED WAS TO BE REMEMBERED AS THE GAY KID.”

ilege.

The summer before my freshman year I read a book called Openly Straight. It’s a book about a high schooler named Rafe who has been openly gay since middle school. He moves to a private high school in Massachusetts where he decides to hide his sexuality from his new classmates. The scary part for me was that Rafe is from my home town, and instead of going to a private high school in the northeast I went to a private college.

Being gay at Colby isn’t fun. Coming into college I wasn’t fully comfortable with my sexuality, and the last thing I wanted was to be remembered as the gay kid; so, I didn’t engage with The Bridge, in which it sometimes feels like there isn’t room for someone to still be so remarkably uncomfortable with being themself. I am not sure if that is a product of small school or something else; nonetheless, I decided I would rather try to be defined by my enthusiasm for sharks than my sexuality. For the first semester, just like Rafe, I went back into the closet. Eventually I decided that wasn’t what I wanted from my college experience. So I went on Grindr and Tinder. Tinder tends to be a lot more PG because you have to match each other, but on Grindr, people will message you and ask for a picture of your face, at which point they ghost you.

This is just my story, although I find similarities in the stoSeptember 4, 2018 19

SEcRet HEroES

By Carolyn Jones

R

ecognizing those that have lifted us is one of the most important things we can do.

To whoever is reading this, I challenge you to acknowledge the love and support that has brought you here. Whether that be your parents, your friends, or even a person who has inspired you from afar- reach out. Write a letter to one of these people and slip it in their mailbox. You never know when someone needs to be reminded of their importance to you.

So, let me leave you with this- my secret Hero is Dean of Religious and Spiritual Life Kurt Nelson. Thank you for being an incredible ally, mentor, and friend. Your support has carried me through lows, highs and mediums. The multitude of communities that you foster on this campus have kept so many people, including myself, afloat. Thank you.

The following are anonymous submissions of gratitude by members of the Colby community.

Who are your secret heroes?

Nikki from the Spa!!! Seeing and chatting with Nikki every morning makes my day infinitely better. She’s warm, caring, energetic, and makes Colby feel like home to me. Go to the Spa to use your board swipe for a bagel & coffee, and stay because Nikki helps you start your day off feeling like a million bucks.

Laura Jensen (‘17). She was one of my biggest feminist role models.

Cindy who works in Dana- she knows so many students by their name and everything about them, goes out of her way to go to events to support students, and puts so much care and consideration into her work at the dining hall. She makes me smile and calm down each time I see her.

Margaret McFadden. She is true, kind, brilliant, and fair. A great boss and provost.

Amy LoTemplio ‘19. I’ve never seen her not smile, nor have I seen anybody that talks to her not smile, no matter if she 20 Outside Colby

knows them well or not.

Esther Mathieu ‘17. She is an amazing person who has worked behind the scenes at Colby to connect people and create a really healthy community, even after she left (and she’s also an amazing writer and her presence at open mics made so many people more comfortable).

Admission Committee. Thanks for including me to be part of Colby.

Karen Ledger. She has been at Colby for over 30 years, runs events services, and knows so much about Colby that she is a wealth of information when planning an event on campus.

Andre (Spa). He genuinely cares about the students and it shows through his actions.

Kim Kenniston. Kim makes sure that everyone on campus has a roof over their head. You can go to her with any problem and she will have a solution. We are all lucky knowing that Kim has our backs.

Katie Sawyer. Katie Sawyer makes sure that students on campus have access to wellness resources all across campus.

Emily Schustebauer. Emily has served in a few different roles at Colby, but each time I’ve needed her she has had my back. Whether she’s running the sexual violence prevention program, advising students and club leaders, or advocating for students in Title IX, she always has had our best interests at heart.

Emma Hunter. Emma is the lead Coordinator of the CAPS program here at Colby, however, she’s been so much more than that. Emma has been a support system for myself as well as other CAPS members. Whether it was inviting me to her house for a Thanksgiving meal, helping with job applications, or just being a good shoulder to cry on/talk to when things were tough Emma was always there for me. I will always admire Emma for her caring and contagious personality.

REcoGnITiOn oF pASsiON: (Continued from page 4)

Upon attending music concerts, beyond the classical concerts I was used to, I found amazing student turnout. Additionally, though not religiously affiliated, I attended a few Multifaith meetings by the recommendations of friends and saw the passion people had for their faith and for fostering a greater tolerance and venues of exposure to different faiths on campus. I also saw students demonstrate an incredible dedication to research and an eagerness to expand knowledge across a variety of academic departments, which culminated in a unique celebration of academia at the Colby Liberal Arts Symposium.

I found many of Colby’s strengths in its subtleties. Without participating in athletics, I had to be intentional in seeking out less visible groups on campus. Student artists, student writers, and student academics as well as student athletes can find a place and thrive within the Colby community. The people you may be looking for, the people to share your

interests with, do exist despite what may immediately be apparent upon experiencing the Colby landscape.

If at first you’re faced with a lack of people with whom to share your passions, share it first with yourself.

Take the time to master your craft and understand it enough to share it with others who may not have been exposed to your art before. Be open to finding groups of people who share similar, but maybe not exactly the same, interests. Colby is a place where you need to be open because your experience at Colby can take form in any way you want it to. Through a negative lens, Colby can be reduced to a bottomless list of flaws and shortcomings. But if you can keep an open mind and a curiosity for different activities, Colby is full of potential and is a place that is continuously humbling.

Whatever you make of it, Colby does have what you’re looking for. It just might take some patience and persistence to find it.

IT’s WOrTh IT to GO: (Continued from page 7) service for help with managing emotional and mental well-

and greater resources for those of us struggling. Don’t let them

being, and I believe that it works. It’s worked for me, and

showboat a concern for mental health with guest speakers and

it’s worked for some of my friends. The counselling center’s

PR campaigns while neglecting to expand counselling services

shortcomings come from a lack of resources, not from an

such that it can fully accommodate the need on campus. Take

inherent inadequacy that should deter people from seeking

mental health more seriously than Colby does, but also take

help.

a chance on trusting the individuals already in place to help.

So, if your mental or emotional health are getting in the way

I believe they will do right by you, or at least point you in the

of your life, I implore you to be brave, call, and try counselling

direction of other resources if they can’t give you what you

as a tool for coping with the hard shit at Colby College. But

need themselves. It’s worth it.

I also implore you to demand from the college better care

Septmeber 4, 2018 21

WhEN tHEy Say LIbeRAl aRtS tHEy MeAn iT: (Continued from page 14)

a full-fledged liberal. There is nothing wrong with not agreeing. As my lord and savior Ruth Bader Ginsburg loves to say, “I dissent”; If RBG can do it in supreme court, we can do it here. So join the debate team and learn to speak up for yourself. Join the Goldfarb Center so that you can use your voice in Colby’s policy center. I urge any student reading this to stop worrying that you’re not liberal enough. You don’t have to be, I promise. It may be hard, but don’t let that ruin your college experience.

Long story short, I’m still a little confused about why this is Colby’s political atmosphere. I still wonder why

I am framed as a conservative when I agree with the majority of people’s beliefs at Colby. I’m not angry with liberal politics, I am just confused as to why the Colby community only allows for those politics in the most extreme. No one should be forced to not have a voice in their education; I can attest to the fact that it forces you to miss out on a lot of college life. So go have a voice even if it’s not the voice people want to hear. You have that right, and people may come to realize that you might just have a point. Colby is always changing and I hope you and I can change it for the better together.

CUt To mE StaCkINg PIleS Of CdS: (Continued from page 16)

Colby’s heritage is one that has been built on socio-economic stilts, which (always passively, and often actively) attempt to justify the exclusion of a great majority for the benefit of a small minority.

Colby is also a place that will force you to confront the humanity, dignity, and kindness (or lack thereof) of many people who do not talk like you talk, think like you think, or behave as you behave. You must fix yourself to something here and see it for what it is, however broken, decrepit, abandoned or consigned it is, and whether that be a building or band, a team or a club, a friendship or a romance. You will quickly find that Colby is not the school that you thought it would be. Whether that turns out to be a positive

discrepancy or a negative one, that’s up to you and your own willingness to shun the temptation of kicking the can down the road.

If you are interested in seeing what became of the radio station, you should come down and visit us - we’re in the basement of Bobs. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Do not forget that your time here will end sooner than you know, and that finding something with which to weather it does not depend on your ability to listen to the administration, professors, or even your friends, but rather your own creativity and sense of meaning. So find somewhere, something, or someone to keep you warm, the winter’s here are long.

JEwiSh AT coLbY: (Continued from page 18)

the congregation loves getting to know students from Colby.

It’s hard to be different at Colby, but if you have community and a sense of who you are, this difference can also become a powerful tool and source of pride. Asserting my place among the token Jews at Colby was never the path of least resistance, but it was the path that gave meaning, context and an opportunity for personal growth few of my peers had access to. I hope you too hold on to your unique identity with pride, 22 Outside Colby

even when it is difficult. If you have questions about Jewish life at Colby, email me and I’d love to take you out to coffee: sjrockfo@colby.edu.

September 4, 2018 23

OuTsI De cO LbY

https://www.outsidecolby.com

Keep a look out for our event with Special Collections College Archives coming up in the last week of September 2018!