ISYA PartyIssue

FEATURES M A Y B E S H E’S B O R N

WITH

IT

INTERCOURSE DRINK.EAT. PLAY

COVER BY AMY SMORENBURG . DIRK VAN NIEKERK .

L A U R E N J A C K S O N . R O S E M A R Y - J A N E O’ H A N L O N

MAYBE

S H E IS BORN W I T H

Every girl has a tedious beautifying ritual which they tackle before a night out.

In their minds this extra two hours makes all difference between looking like

Keith Richards or Jessica Alba. Well so they believe. It all begins with a group discussion of what everyone is wearing. This is partly to judge how much effort needs to be put in, and partly to make sure you don’t end up being the wing-woman for everyone else who decided to wear their sexy stilettos instead of their sneakers.

Once the status quo has been established, it is time to tackle the question of little black sleeveless, little black with sparkles, or little black which shows a tad too much cleavage. This decision is crucial as the wrong choice could lead to some terrible selfies. No one wants that. This happens after a forty minute shower of course. A shit, shower and shave type of attitude needs to be adopted here, only it’s the girl version. You know, shit, shower and shave. Hair needs to be washed at least twice, and strawberry (or other fruit infused) body wash is the only acceptable soap when you want to smell utterly edible. And you do want to.

IT Next up is hair. A look is incomplete until you have the perfect shag me hairstyle to go with it. It’s deceptively a lot more complicated than it looks. Some tips to get the perfect tease include making sure to use a round-tip bristled brush,

the most expensive hairspray you can find (spray in a well-ventilated room), gut-wrenching will power, and seventeen hair clips.

If all else fails, GHD the shit out of it until it looks long, luscious and lifeless.

MAYBE

I T’ S M A Y B E LLINE

3

The makeup is the longest time consumer of the process. This stage always requires two different makes of primer, followed by half a cover stick and hidden by enough foundation to cover Mike Tyson’s face tattoos. Flawless looking skin is essential in stepping up a notch in the hottie or nottie scale.

Then, after deciding whether to go with smoky or sultry eyes, it’s time for the lashes. Who the fuck decided that fake eyelashes are a good idea? The amount of eyelash glue used in one application could sustain a small bergie population for an entire month!

Photos mark the approach toward the finish line. It seems only right to make sure the lighting from the flash doesn’t show any signs of your true self. The process finally ends with another shower. This time it’s under copious amounts of Opium. The perfume by Yves Saint Laurent. Only sometimes the drug. The takkie squeaking fellas appreciate a good hit up the nostrils!

Last but not least, it’s important to remember to check in wherever you go otherwise the entire routine was worthless. After all, you were never there unless Facebook says you were.

-TARRYN

BRITCHFORD

5

INTERCOURSE CHE M I CALS HARDCORE U S I C “We’ve been seen, we’ve been heard and we’ve been experienced. We are both tangible and intangible. We are the untouchables, the pioneers, and the invincible. We are generation Y and this is how we like to let our hair loose.”

Friday afternoon. The last lecture of the day comes to an end. There is excitement in the air – the debaucheries and unconventional playground that is the weekend has arrived.

It’s time to knock hands with the bro’s, time to get together with the ladies and scoop up the latest gossip, time to get raucous and, with drink in hand, stomp to the rhythms of the latest and greatest EDM. The drops will be sick, the booze will be plentiful, and the people will be sexy and permeating lustful pheromones. It’s Friday and what a better day to forget about the shitty week and get hammered, happy and high.

There is no better place to embrace the devil may care lifestyle than in a massive Constantia house party. The sun hasn’t quite set yet but everyone is at least tipsy.

The bottles of hard-tac have been opened for the last hour. The host is thinking to himself “As long as nobody wrecks my parents bedroom its all chilled. Everyone will help clean up the place tomorrow morning.” In the digestive system of this modernistic Victorian mansion, the girls and boys are intermingling like politicians. A sense of posh class and dignity remains in both sexes, but as the last glimmer of orange disappears behind the mountain the rush of an intoxication-fueled grips the hungry, sex driven youth.

It’s nine o’clock. The household is swarming with students who are ready for a balls-to-the-walls party of epic proportions.

HOUSE PARTIES / INTERCOURSE, CHEMICALS & HARDCORE MUSIC

There is a foul stench of recklessness

10: 30 PM. The makeshift dance floor that

morning, coming down on all the chemicals

as bottles clank and foul language,

is the grand living room has sprung to life

in their body. They will shuffle out by 12

accompanied by the drunken slurs of

with rigorous stomping, shoulder bumping

o’clock. 50 people came. 15 stayed over.

“bro!” and “babe!” fill the hollow walls

and making out. It’s hot, clammy, smoky,

2 helped clean up the place. It’s still filthy,

and high ceilings. The fist few wafts of

and desperately loud. Everyone is drunk

but men oh man what night.

marijuana permeate into the grand living

or high or both. A mysterious group in

room. Stoner circles form in ample amounts

the corner has been passing around a cup

Come next Friday the same thing will

– no need for closed doors because nobody

filled with MDMA pills. Why not rush too?

happen in another mansion.

judges and nobody’s ashamed.

For those open-minded enough to dabble

The music is dope and it’s only getting

in recreational drugs, the night filled with

better.

eternal energy as their hearts beat faster

A few wannabe DJ’s argue over playlists

and faster and their minds orgasm with

and insist that their electro is “the best shit

surreal euphoria. If no rooms are available,

you’ve ever heard.”

the sex will take place outside on the grass.

Everyone knows. Nobody cares.

There is an obvious communal laisser-faire agenda to abide by, as shards of glass,

The intensity of the situation will slow

stains of potent alcoholic and cigarette

down at about 2:30 AM. Then it’s time to

ash become a walking hazard. Despite the

leave unless you’ve made arrangements to

clutter, nobody is minding his or her step.

stay over or you can find a place to crash.

The ones who stay will feel like shit in the

-Cameron

Smith

EAT d r i n k

p l a y

I sincerely wish I was writing about one woman’s search for the meaning of her life across Italy, India and Indonesia, but I am not. South African youth culture and their constant obsession with the sensation of hangovers, has become a big fascination of mine. When I say hangovers, I am not referring to the kind that is only resulted by alcohol and drugs, but the kind that is resulted by partying till the early hours of the morning all day, everyday.

There is this repetition within the so-called “hipster” lifestyle, which has become a crucial element in my observation. We all deserve to treat ourselves to a good drink or two once in a while, I know I do, but this all-embracing behaviour has become a bit much.

Hip Hop started in the 1970’s, as a marginalized subculture in the South Bronx and Harlem New York City. This movement began with a broad conglomerate of artistic forms among the black and Latino youth groups. The essence of this movement was to redirect the youth’s attention to enhancing themselves, instead of becoming immersed in drug and alcohol possession.

In 2009, South African youth were affected by a similar concept, but the kind that would encourage diversity and an expansion and fusion of other musical genres. This movement is formally known as “hipsterism”. There is no formal definition for this, but many define it as a mass consumption in the eternal quest for what is cool, distinct, relevant, difficult to acquire or just plain ugly. Their unique garments that give them a status symbol normally encapsulate the movement the best, along with the trendy spots they attend to eat and socialize.

The alcohol and the drugs contribute to the ordinary struggles of teenagers and young adults, who inherit the twisted cultural landscape of South Africa because of this movement. South Africa is a land of vast extremes; with enormous wealth and immense poverty that has painted contradiction into its very fabric. This has brought about this need of belonging, which has resulted in the youth’s need of being under one umbrella. It has become socially accepted to be in the midst of people taking drugs, drinking excessively, going beyond their own limits and curfew, and repeating the whole cycle again. There are certain truths society must accept, as every youth group to ever exist has experimented with alcohol and drugs. However, the current state of South African youth in 2014 is about living excessively. The crux of the hipster movement in South Africa actually began to bring light to the fusion of electro, hip-hop, dub step, drum and base in the city center.

Many shy away from the opportunity, of taking on the important role in inspiring the transition of South African being defined to culturally creating a musical movement unique to South Africans.

Teenagers are known for living their lives based on what the “others” are doing and what is cool. However as a previous teenager myself, I have learnt one thing about the notion of comparison is that it does not make sense. The concept of drinking, eating, playing and repeating the cycle again, can only be done by those who can achieve while doing so.

A word of advice to my fellow “hipstorians”, calm the fuck down.

-A N E L I S A

MANGCU