RelationshipS HandbooK
10 Tips on Relationships
10 Tips on Relationship 1) The purpose of life is Relationship a. To enter into Relationship with God the Father (John 17:3) b. To enter into relationship with others to share how they can have relationship with God.
2) The Purpose of Relationship is to illustrate the Gospel a. Marriage (the ultimate relationship) displays the relationship between Christ and the church
b. Husbands model sacriHicial service and wives demonstrate worshipful followership 3) The purpose of gender in marriage relationships is to image God a. Men are God-‐like in their humble authority demonstrated in God the Father b. Women are God-‐like in their wise submission demonstrated in God the Son 4) Our vertical relationship with God in inextricably linked to our horizontal relationships on earth
a. Our relationship with God provides for and protects our horizontal relationships from ruin, and unmet expectations.
b. A giving relationship with others is the effect of our receiving relationship with God. 5) To be human is to be in Relationship. a. Relationships are by God’s design and are pre-‐fall (meaning, not as a result of sin) b. Dependence (not independence) and need (not self-‐sufHiciency) are fundamental to humanity’s makeup. 6) Everyone is in search of the THE relationship. a. There is only one Jesus Christ who can bear your burdens and bless you with what you need. b. All other relational substitutes will be used and abused in the process
7) Dating relationships have deHinite ends. a. Dating without an end goal of marriage is reckless and loveless. b. The moment one or both dating parties no longer shares that end the relationship should end.
8) A working dating relationship does not necessarily preapprove you for marriage. a. Deep same-‐sex relationships are the most similar in nature to your future marriage relationship
b. A healthy and conviction-‐based relationship with God is crucial for one’s readiness to marry.
9) Healthy relationships thrive on clear, honest, and consistent communication. a. Honesty in feelings, direction, and intentions inform both parties. b. Failure to follow through in decisions can confuse and sow distrust. 10)Relationships exist to be lived publicly, not privately. a. Relationships that pull you from others are not healthy b. Relationships that no one else knows about are not healthy.
Relational Onion
Every person’s heart is made up of layers of depth of relationship. Generally, access to levels of intimacy in a person’s life is contigent upon the depth of relationship you share with them. While acqaintenances know a person on a very surface level, friends know that person at a below the surface level. Best friends and family have the privilege of even deeper access into a life. And then there is a core level that is reserved for the one person that he or she is to marry. This is the spot that was made for entry but never created to allow exits. When a romantic relationship that has breached the core level of one’s heart ends it creates small tears in each level of a person’s life that was accessed. The tears result from breakups between two romantically involved people as they exit one another’s life. Tears are part of life, but tears are also the result from immaturities and foolishly led relationships that start fast and progress quickly into areas of a person’s life unintended or into depths that they were never supposed to enter. Take steps now to ensure that your relationship is moving at an approppriate pace and in safe directions because tears are in proportion with the level of depth of the relationship at the time of breakup You can always speed relationships up, but it is hard to slow them down once they get going. Therefore, one must guard their heart because from it flow the wellsprings of life.
What you should know about Men & Women Relating • Men relate through shoulder - to - shoulder acitivities. Generally, they prefer to engage through activity or over an activity • Women relate through face - to - face conversations. Generally, they prefer to connect through deep heart to heart conversation. Communication • Men may like to communicate through non-verbal means that show you how he feels. • Most women would desire clear and conversational dialogue as their preferred communication channels. Nature • Most men are visual in nature. • Most women are emotional and verbal in nature. Role • Men lead best as sacrifical servants that act as heads of a relationship. • Women operate best as wise and affirming followers in the context of a relationship. Insecurities
Tips for Men
Tips for Women