MEN Challenging adults to raise feminine boys
BY: ANDREW SCHLESINGER
Š Copyright 2018 by Andrew Schlesinger All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission in writing from the author. For inquires, please contact andrew.m.schlesinger@gmail.com www.andrewschlesinger.com School of Visual Arts MFA Products of Design 132 West 21st Street New York, NY 10011-3213 www.products ofdesign.sva.edu
Andrew Schlesinger Author Designer
Allan Chochinov Chair, MFA Products of Design at SVA Thesis I Instructor
Abby Covert Thesis II Instructor
Jamie McGhee Editor
TABLE OF CONTENTS I. Welcome Introduction
Lexicon of Terms
9 15
II. Reflection
My Thoughts The “Moment” My Journey
23 27 33
III. Objectives
Goals 37 Audience 43
IV. Research
Secondary News & Media Diagrams Workshops Interviews
51 69 73 79 91
V. Early Explorations
Speculative Intervention Services Business Campaigns Sustainable
137 141 145 155 165 181
VI. Design Offerings
Service Experience Product Design
189 199 233
VII. Acknowledgments
Thank You Bibliography
263 265
Welcome
I. Welcome
INTRODUCTION A brief introduction about myself and my journey to this thesis topic.
8
Before we dive in, I’d like to tell you a bit about myself. By most accounts, I meet all the requirements of being a “man”—at least, according to traditional societal ideals. I fit the mold, so to speak. I am a white, heterosexual, cisgender man who has been afforded many privileges and opportunities because of my fortunate circumstances. I’ve never questioned my gender; I am biologically male and identify as male. When I was growing up, most of my world was isolated to “male” or “bro” culture; namely sports, science/engineering and social gatherings. Gender was rarely a topic of conversation or discussion, and definitely never one directed towards me. As I took a break between my fulltime job and the start of graduate school in the summer of 2016, I had a moment to reflect on the larger problems we, as a society, face. For example, I was drawn to climate change—the destruction of the environment for economic gain and the challenges of sustainable living. I was similarly troubled by the growing income wealth gap in societies around the world. The driving forces behind our biggest problems seemed to be insatiable greed and the persistent need for domination. I would often conclude there is a link between gender, specifically masculinity, and these problems. Wondering what was driving this behavior and motivation, I began to consider that we live in a
world constructed and run by men and masculine ideals: a set of values founded on competition, domination, aggression, control, and ego. If we allow these principles to drive us, we lose sight of those around us and ourselves. We fail to help our neighbors. We fail to reflect on our actions and emotions. We fail to be responsible. To be clear, I do not believe there is anything inherent in men that creates the world’s problems. However, I do believe male culture has become destructive on not just a global scale, but also a personal one; suicide rates are four times higher for men than for women, and male depression statistics are severely underrepresented because of men’s general aversion to therapy. I believe the destructive nature of masculinity first impacts individual men and those around them, and then expands to result in negative repercussions worldwide. This is because the male culture we have created and the masculine ideals we have upheld devalue emotional reflection and expression; and demand that men appear tough, strong and in control at all times. At its most extreme, masculinity leads directly to violent behavior. And in its more steady state, traditional masculinity requires a man to suppress his feelings, eventually losing sight of those emotions altogether.
Introduction
9
my skewed perspective of the world.
At what point in child development do we begin teaching boys these behaviors? And how can we change that? These burning questions are how my thesis began. GENTLEmen is a master’s thesis that explores gender identity, masculinity, stereotyping, parenting, education, and male culture. Specifically, I have been investigating the restrictive nature we place on men to conform to a masculine ideal that can be destructive to themselves and to those around them. The overarching initiative of this thesis is to challenge the influential adults in boys’ lives to rethink the stereotypes they project onto boys and instead encourage traditionally feminine traits. My hope is to free boys to be who they want to be. You might be wondering—why me, and what is my particular interest in male culture? Growing up, I found myself caught between “nerd” and “jock.” I played basketball and lacrosse, but I also tinkered with computers, learned to code, and excelled in math and science courses. These interests were male-dominated activities that have quite the history of misogyny, although I did not know that at the time. As an undergraduate, I joined a fraternity, which continued my interest in competitive sports and furthered my immersion into “male culture.” The fact that only 10% of students in the engineering school were women (in 2011) also added to
10
My background, which is not particularly unique to young men, was an underlying motivation for this thesis. I have seen firsthand how easy it is for young men to grow up without female role models and learn only the destructive elements of masculinity, such as suppressing their emotions and competing at all costs. While I did not focus this thesis on my particular upbringing, my background kept the work personal. The more I’ve delved into this thesis, the more I’ve started to question my own behaviors. People often tell me that I am “reserved” or “holding back.” I’ve always considered this my personality; however, now I wonder whether this behavior is really my personality at all, or whether it is social conditioning. Is my limited ability to express feelings a result of my upbringing? Personally, I believe it to be both socialization and personality, but the reality is that I will never know for certain. Regardless, this is why I have decided to focus my thesis work on changing the stereotypes projected onto boys. I am not interested in prescribing a singular way to be a man. I hope that boys are given the freedom to be and express themselves however they want to be. We have been in a historic moment for women’s liberation, a moment that has sparked a broader,
Introduction
“I look at the news, and the driving force behind so many of the world’s problems seems to be out of control masculinity.” - GRAYSON PERRY
nationwide evaluation of what it means to be a man. During this thesis, from April 2017 to May 2018, an extraordinary number of men in positions of power have been removed from their positions due to sexual misconduct, assault, and full-fledged rape, most notably Harvey Weinstein. This has sparked the #metoo social media campaign, as well as major advancements in social justice initiatives such as TimesUp in Hollywood. National news and media outlets are running articles on “toxic masculinity” or “the boy crisis” weekly, from both sides of the argument. Meanwhile, the president of the United States, Donald Trump, is a prime example of masculinity gone wrong—he is overly competitive, misogynistic, and egotistical. This backdrop kept fuel to the flame as I worked to curb toxic masculinity and reconsider how we raise the next generation of boys.
12
Introduction
“The wounded child inside many males is a boy who, when he first spoke his truths, was silenced by paternal sadism, by a patriarchal world that did not want him to claim his true feelings.� - BELL HOOKS
I. Welcome
LEXICON OF TERMS To clarify meaning throughout this book, I have compiled a glossary of terms that are used with the specific connotation I mean when referring to these terms. 14
Chapter Title
Gender Socially constructed categories based on the characteristics, behaviors, and traits associated with a biological sex. These behaviors are often described as inherent or evolutionarily connected to biological sex, however that is largely disproven. As defined by leading philosopher Judith Butler, along with gender theorists, gender is a performance of a societal identity, rather than true to the individual.
Biological sex The distinction of humans by anatomy and reproductive organs. This distinction is incorrect—human behaviors, such as aggression, competitiveness, or compassion are typically associated with biological sex, however this has been largely disproven by contemporary research.
Masculinity The characteristics, behaviors, and traits and traits associated with the male biological sex as defined and idealized by society. Masculinity is a culturally constructed, relative ideal against which biological male lives are judged. In the context of this thesis, based in the United States, masculinity is characterized as having courage, being independent, acting stoic, using violence as a solution, and asserting dominance.
Traditional Masculinity The pursuit of an ideal, as defined by society: being courageous or brave, asserting dominance, protecting those around you, providing (not nurturing), competing, and acting independently to “succeed.�
Toxic Masculinity (or Hyper-Masculinity) Behaviors and traits taken to an extreme in pursuit of the masculine ideal. Behaviors include, over-competition, domination, exploitation, homophobia, misogyny, and sexual assault.
Lexicon of Terms
15
Healthy Masculinity An understanding that incorporating traditionally feminine traits is both valuable and necessary to be a complete human being, and that it does not undermine the masculine traits that one also expresses. Healthy masculinity balances the traditionally masculine with the traditionally feminine, including sensitivity, nurturing, empathy, and gentleness, while not undermining one’s sense of manhood.
Femininity The characteristics, behaviors, and traits and traits associated with the female biological sex as defined and idealized by society. In the context of this thesis, based in the United States, feminity is characterized as being gentle and nurturing, showing empathy and compassion, displaying sensitivity and emotional expression, and seeking cooperation and relationships.
Socialization An ongoing process whereby an individual defines their personal identity by the norms, values, behavior, and social skills associated with one’s societal surroundings and expectations.
Social Construct An idea that has been created and accepted by the people of a society. A social construct can develop even without complete evidence or support; for example biological sex association to behavior.
Social Norm An expected behavior, trait, or role within society for either a specific social group (categorized by biological sex, race, ethnicity, or religion), or for the population at large.
16
Lexicon of Terms
Stereotype A projection of characteristics and behaviors on an individual within a social group; generally, this projection occurs without any background knowledge of the individual, but is based on larger assumptions about a group.
Bias A tendency, inclination, or opinion, often subconscious and unreasonable, towards a social group.
Self-reflection A conscious exercise of evaluating one’s own actions, motivations, and fundamental nature.
Self-identity A collection of beliefs one holds about oneself, which includes the social constructs of society: gender, race, sexuality.
Emotional Expression Verbal and nonverbal behaviors that communicate an internal emotional or affective state. In regards to gender, traditional masculine and feminine expressions of emotions differ. Femininity is associated with easily and openly expressing the full range of human emotions, while masculinity is seen as restricting expression, often limiting the range to anger and aggression or, on the other side of the coin, to confidence and competence.
Emotional Suppression The action of hiding, masking, or modifying verbal and nonverbal behaviors that communicate an internal emotional state. The process of suppressing emotional states can lead to eliminating those emotions all together. As society punishes or conditions against expression in men, masculine individuals learn to suppress this socially unacceptable behavior.
Lexicon of Terms
17
Vulnerability The state of exposing oneself to the possibility of being attacked, harmed, judged, or criticized, either physically or emotionally. Being in an emotional state of vulnerability opens the window for deeper human connection. While a state of vulnerability is inherently uncertain, risky, and exposing, vulnerability is the core of emotions and feelings.
Family Structure The support system of individuals providing care and stability for their biological offspring, which ties across generations. While a traditional family structure was defined as a “nuclear family”—a mother, father, and their children—this structure has become less prevalent and alternative forms more common.
Socioeconomics A state of living conditions defined by a combination of social and economic factors.
Representation (or Media Representation) The description or portrayal of a social group in a particular way or as being of a certain nature; this potentially validates social constructs and perpetuates stereotypes.
Gentle Mild in temperament or behavior, tender and kind.
Aggression The forceful and overly assertive pursuit of one’s own aims and interests, disregarding the welfare of others. Throughout this thesis, aggression is referred to as motivated by egotism and unprovoked action.
18
Lexicon of Terms
Competition An activity where at least two parties strive for a goal that cannot be shared, resulting in one’s gain and the other’s loss. Throughout this thesis, competition is often referred to as the opposite of cooperation, and generally as an unnecessary activity for sport or excess, not survival.
Cooperation The process of groups of people working or acting together for common or mutual benefit. Often referred to synonymously with collaboration or as the opposite of competition.
Society The aggregate of people living together and their social relationships in a defined geographical territory, subject to the same political system and overarching culture.
Peer-pressure The effect on an individual who gets encouraged to follow one’s peers by changing one’s attitudes, values or behaviors to conform to those of the influencing group or individual.
Lexicon of Terms
19
Reflection
II. Reflection
MY THOUGHTS My thoughts regarding current gender-related topics that are controversial or heavily debated.
Swing the Pendulum
Effeminate vs. Feminine
Over the last thirty years or so, the feminist movement has prompted a crucial, nuanced conversation around what it means to be a girl or woman in society. But at the same time, we have not asked ourselves, “What does it mean to be a boy or man?” We need to open the door for that conversation. Fortunately, in recent news, more mainstream periodicals have begun posing the question to its readers and society.
When I share my thesis title and subtitle with people, they often tell me I should consider changing my subtitle (“Challenging adults to raise feminine boys”). They say that the meaning is unclear, that the wording is too threatening, or, quite simply, that the premise just makes them uncomfortable. This makes me think that the subtitle actually hits the right tone, for a number of reasons.
As a society, we have made a concerted effort to raise girls to be “more like boys”—strong, confident, brave. So many forces (namely media, bias, and structural challenges) pushed girls to remain in traditional roles that we needed to make these targeted, directed efforts to see change. However, we have not made the same efforts for boys, nor have we agreed that such efforts would even be acceptable. I would argue, through this thesis, that we need to make the same, concerted effort for boys but in a different direction; we should raise them to be caring, emotive, and cooperative. In the process of pushing our boys to be more “feminine,” I hope to witness a cultural shift toward accepting the many varieties of “manly” that men can become.
First, this thesis is not meant to please people. It is meant to provoke, challenge, and provide new models on how to raise boys. If I am not making people uncomfortable, then I am not doing my job. This is not because I want to offend anyone but because, to be honest, the subtitle is not a particularly controversial statement. It is only controversial because of the outdated and misunderstood meanings that we apply to the word feminine. Additionally, we as a society have lost an understanding of the word feminine. It has been ingrained in most of us that “feminine” equals “bad,” even for women; on the contrary, the characteristics and behaviors associated with femininity are wonderful. Unfortunately, the use of the word feminine in reference to biologically male persons has taken on the meaning of effeminate and has the connotation of doing something wrong or incorrect. I am not suggesting that to combat toxic
My Thoughts
23
masculinity, we need to raise boys to have an effeminate demeanor, which would be an outward projection. Instead, I am speaking about femininity, which is an inward behavior and state of mind. To be clear—I do not suggest there is anything wrong with effeminate behavior, but that femininity and the change we need to see is about inward behavior and thinking.
Sexuality & Gender
Binary vs. Spectrum
This illustrates a fear of the “other”—but, more than that, I believe it illustrates a fear of oneself. People are afraid to deeply evaluate and question their own identity, both in terms of gender and sexuality, which results in an outward projection. Often we speculate that the most homophobic men are the ones secretly grappling with their own homosexual desires.
I believe gender to be on a spectrum and gender identity to be fluid. However, this thesis operates within a binary framework of gender, even though I agree with contemporary discourse that places gender on a spectrum. This thesis operates within the binary (arguably mainstream) framework in order to subvert it. I wrestled with this decision. On the one hand, working within a binary system perpetuates and maintains an existing structure that is damaging, limiting, and incorrect. On the other hand, introducing too much “change” can be so overwhelming that it causes me to lose my audience before I even get started. I decided to take a conservative approach to the definition of gender identity in order to reimagine traditional gender norms and connect with a wider audience.
24
Homophobia is a pillar of traditional masculinity. Because masculinity has been built on the absolute rejection of femininity and all things feminine, this typically includes homosexuality. People often incorrectly associate feminine traits with homosexuality, and they have asked me, “So you want to raise gay boys?”
This thesis does not explicitly explore sexuality, although sexuality is inherently closely linked to gender norms. The heteronormative standard certainly perpetuates gender stereotypes in a way that I find restricting.
My Thoughts
“Too many boys are trapped in the same suffocating, outdated model of masculinity, where manhood is measured in strength, where there is no way to be vulnerable without being emasculated, where manliness is about having power over others.� - MICHAEL IAN BLACK
II. Reflection
THE “MOMENT” An exploration into the current “moment” around around women’s liberation and the politics of today.
The past year and half, from January 2017 to May 2018, has marked a historical moment for the feminist movement. The Women’s March after the inauguration of Donald Trump brought out over 5 million protesters worldwide to stand together and advocate for human rights—including women’s rights, immigration reform, healthcare reform, reproductive rights, environmental protection, LGBTQ rights, racial equality, freedom of religion, and workers’ rights.
people of color in media. The films being made and released reflect a growing demand for strong, female leaders who are not defined by the men in their lives. Popular examples include the following: Wonder Woman tells the story of an Amazonian princess trained as an unstoppable warrior to save the day (without the help of any men).
The #metoo campaign captured and continues to drive a national conversation around sexual assault, harassment, and abuse. Time’s 2017 Person of the Year was the “The Silence Breakers,” representing people who came forward to report sexual misconduct. Brands and companies, specifically those targeting men, are are shifting their messages to reflect evolving attitudes toward gender norms. For example, the upstart razor company Harry’s ran a campaign demanding a new, more inclusive definition of masculinity. And Gillette, a longtime razor manufacturer, created a video exploring the complexity of modern masculinity. The TimesUp campaign in Hollywood directly targets salary disparities and the misrepresentation of women and
Breaking down both racial and gender stereotypes, Black Panther depicts an alternative history in Africa, where the most technologically advanced country on the planet, Wakanda, thrives. T’Challa, Wakanda’s king, looks to women, his closest advisors and fiercest warriors, throughout the story. A Wrinkle in Time places a young, black girl at the center of the narrative, as the hero who saves her father. The director, Ava DuVernay, openly explains how important this was to her: “A black girl as the hero attracted me to the story of “A Wrinkle in Time.” When Disney told me this film could be made and that I could cast it the way I wanted to, I said, “Could Meg Murry be a black girl?” They said, “Yes.” I said: “Well, you got a deal. I will come and make that movie.” I’m glad I did. It’s a love letter to our girls.” - Ava DuVernay
The “Moment”
27
“So I want all the girls watching here, now, to know that a new day is on the horizon! And when that new day finally dawns, it will be because of a lot of magnificent women, many of whom are right here in this room tonight, and some pretty phenomenal men, fighting hard to make sure that they become the leaders who take us to the time when nobody ever has to say “Me too” again.” - OPRAH WINFREY
Lastly, Moana, marked a huge moment at Disney to break the princess story stereotype (which they themselves have perpetuated), and instead showcase the courage and adventurous spirit of a young Polynesian girl who saves her island. Moana’s motivation is not driven by a prince or romantic love, and she succeeds because of her own bravery. For conservatives, the threat of a changing world is real. Societal norms that were once familiar (and unjust) are evolving. Race demographics in America are shifting. Women are graduating from university at higher rates. Even in the face of a presidential administration that makes people question reality, the moment still feels real.
as we learn more and more about the lived experience of women and what men in power are capable of doing. The regular news articles and opinion pieces have kickstarted the exact conversation I want to see—a discussion of what it means to be a man in today’s world. Although said discussion often highlights conservative opinions I do not necessarily agree with, the important thing is that a dialogue has begun. More than anything, conversation is an excellent step.At times, the magnitude of this “moment” made my thesis work feel trivial or inconsequential. However, I was lucky to have the support of friends and family who reminded me that the mere existence of this thesis is a testament to the steps we need to be taking.
I hope this moment is in fact real, and I hope that the change we need is coming. I also hope that women’s liberation prompts nuanced conversations around what it means to be a man. If we have learned anything from the feminist movement, it is that time is important and change is hard—but the moment is here. The presence of this moment as the backdrop to my thesis work has been remarkable and encouraging. For starters, the sexual assault revelations (which feel daily) fuel the fire and create wider support for this thesis initiative. I believe the goal of my thesis is more palatable to men
30
The “Moment”
Womens March 2017, NYTimes
II. Reflection
MY JOURNEY A reflection on my journey through this thesis process and how it has changed me.
While diving into research on gender and childhood development, I have been compelled to reflect deeply on my own childhood and identity. I question not only where my likes and dislikes stem from, but also how I carry myself and speak. Is my perceived “confidence” a result of my innate personality, or because I was raised in a masculine environment that created it?
the authority on the subject. I have made a point to change my language and encourage my male friends to do the same (hopefully without being too preachy in the process). Using homophobic slurs or bragging about sexual conquests has become intolerable. Through all of this, I’ve had to ask myself, “How can I—and will I— behave as a living manifestation of my thesis? What does it mean to be a GENTLEman?”
Do I naturally enjoy competing, or was I socialized to believe that competing is the only way to have fun? Is my limited ability to express emotions an ingrained component of who I am, or a result of my gender? As I’ve reflected on these questions over the past year, I’ve made concerted efforts to counter some of these behaviors, particularly male stereotypes. I am deliberately trying to be more emotive. For example, I encourage my male friends to share how they feel (feminine) instead of what they did (masculine). I am certainly more sensitive to the language that we, as a society, use with one another. The subtle gender cues that men should be leaders or rewarded or dominant are highly visible to me now. For example, I can now see how men are appointed as the default leader in a group or hear men interrupting conversations as
To be honest, I still don’t know. My candid response is that there is no single way to be a GENTLEman (that would be restricting and ironic). This thesis has made me realize, along with many other socially constructed issues, we need to be more reflective and accepting. We need to put in the time to look within and question our actions and behaviors—to question if that behavior was biased and predisposed or if it felt real and genuine. We need to be critical of ourselves and always consider the lived experience of others. I think being a GENTLEman comes down to balance, as cliche as that might be. It is a balance of the masculine and feminine traits in all of us.To suppress any of these characteristics becomes damaging and “toxic.” As I move on from this work, I hope to find better balance and continue to pull out the feminine behaviors inside me.
My Journey
33
Objectives
III. Objectives
GOALS The driving factors behind this thesis: Personal, Intellectual, and Influential.
Personal Growth and self-reflection As I mentioned in the chapter before, this thesis has been a journey of personal growth and self-evaluation as I’ve wrestled with what it means to be a man in the modern world. Throughout this process, I have been questioning my character, how I became who I am, and the influence gender has had on my development. I have repeatedly asked myself how much of my personality is my “true” personality and how much is a result of socially constructed gender norms throughout my life. I have used this thesis as an opportunity to reflect on my upbringing and the many people and experiences that shaped my understanding of my identity, in particular my gender. And to be honest, this journey was by no means intentional. The thesis did not start as a personal reflection, but it morphed into one. While my initial goal was to curb masculine behavior, over time I began to narrow and focus on raising boys differently in order to change the conditions for a new generation of men—emotionally sensitive and expressive, cooperative, and nurturing. As I shifted towards raising boys differently, I naturally looked at my own childhood an as example to evaluate. Along this personal journey, I’ve had to remember that I am not just designing for myself and
people like me. Although selfreflection and personal growth are goals of this thesis, I have been cognizant of the the wide range of situations in which men and boys find themselves as it relates to masculinity and male culture. I strove to take myself and my biases out of the equation. At times this was difficult, and I did tend to fall into areas that I was comfortable in or already knowledgeable about. As you will see in my work, I tap into my love of basketball throughout the projects, which certainly would not connect with all boys or men. I also struggled to widen my primary, interview research beyond a network of individuals from a demographic similar to my own. This thesis has helped me realize the enormous challenge it can be to actually “walk in someone else’s shoes.” As a designer, I can never forget this directive, and as one of my professors, Jennifer Rittner, always said, “Designers facilitate the problem solving that is already going on in the community.”
Intellectual Social problems and complex systems From a tactical perspective, I would like to work in social impact design after graduation, and therefore this thesis acts as an extension of that mission. I am drawn to problems that are driven by socially constructed conditions, and I felt a year of
Goals
37
my time and energy needed to be directed towards a social problem of intellectual complexity.
systems thinking.
I would like this thesis to be a demonstration of my aptitude to research, comprehend, reimagine, and work within a complex system. My goal was to better understand the topic of gender as it is outlined today—both in a broader, philosophical sense and in the nuanced, detailed discussions. I do not have a background in gender studies, sociology, anthropology, etc., therefore it was particularly important to show that I can step outside my “comfort zone” of engineering and design to expand my knowledge bank. It is often assumed that I should tackle the “technical” problem given my career up to this point, so as I would like to transition my career towards strategic, system design, I wanted to use this thesis as a demonstration of competence.
Break stereotypes and restrictions
In my future, I’d like to direct my work towards researching across disciplines, illustrating the invisible systems of our world, and making complex problems more understandable and actionable. This focus towards aptitude demonstration can cause tension in my thesis work, as I would also like to continue learning. My goal is to strike a balance: take risks in areas where I need to learn, but also continue to use this platform as a demonstration of an existing skill and mindset of
38
Influential
I hope this thesis challenges convention. For starters, I hope that me doing this thesis is an example of challenging the expected. However, more importantly, I would like to see this thesis inspire parents and adults to throw out old notions of gender and reconsider how we should treat boys. I’d like to see less male violence towards women. I want boys to feel free to express themselves and explore their identities outside the restricting ideal of masculinity. I hope men can begin to open themselves to vulnerability and connect more deeply with the people in their lives. More broadly, I hope for a world where we reduce stereotyping and allow individuals to define themselves, instead of prescribing an identity on to them. We, as a society, have established masculine and feminine ideals. Generally speaking, both of these ideals are built on superficial goals. For men, the ideals direct them to strive to be strong, both physically and emotionally, in-control, and financially successful. For women, their worth is reduced to physical beauty and ability to nurture and reproduce. These ideals disregard
Goals
“If one wants to change the distribution of a given trait in a population, the task is not to overcome nature but to rearrange the developmental system.� - LETITIA MEYNELL
any form of character, from morality to kindness to generosity. The projection of a gender ideal is restricting and damaging. I am hopeful that my work can help us move towards a more inclusive, accepting culture. In fact, there was a tension in my work towards this goal. Should I be designing individual behavior changes? Or shifting cultural attitudes? I felt this tension throughout my journey, asking myself the cliche, “Is it the chicken or the egg?� In the beginning of my journey, my work trended towards cultural change. My second semester work has focused more narrowly on individual behaviors, specifically in regards to adults and boys teaching, encouraging and accepting traditionally feminine behaviors and traits.
40
Goals
“There is no gender identity behind the expressions of gender; that identity is performatively constituted by the very “expressions” that are said to be its results.” - JUDITH BUTLER
III. Objectives
AUDIENCE Outlining the audience and target users specific to this thesis work and research.
Looking at how to impact gender stereotypes and prescribed roles, I have narrowed my focus to adults who directly influence boys. This is not to say that the current generation is a lost cause, but the social cues and subtle microaggressions that adults employ when teaching children about gender construct an identity that is challenging to shake off. To increase impact and, ideally, free children from this restrictive construct, adults can change their behavior towards boys. Even without changing an adult’s belief system regarding gender, impact is possible through behavioral interventions aimed at the interactions between adult and child. Adults need to accept, encourage, and teach behaviors and traits that
fall outside of masculine norms, particularly the traits that are identified as traditionally feminine, such as emotional expression, a nurturing mentality, and a willingness to collaborate through cooperation. These characteristics are objectively good for society, yet we devalue them in boys. This has long-term individual ramifications, including depression, loss of self, and entitlement.
Fathers Who is more influential on a young boy’s life than his father? Fathers become the ultimate role model, and a father-son relationship is paramount to a boy’s identity, whether the boy knows it or not. Because I wanted to design for recent or expecting fathers, I needed to learn more about their needs and goals. I am not a father myself, and I do not have immediate plans to become one, so user research was essential for further understanding. No two fathers are the same. They differ from each other based on their political views, religious affiliations, relationships with their parents, and relationships with their
Audience
Areas of inquiry: Goals: Why did you want to be a father? Concerns: What worries you most about raising your son? Nostalgia: What childhood experience would you like to replicate for your son? Social: How do you see the role of a father vs. a mother in raising a son/ child?
43
children’s mothers/partners, to name a few characteristics. Every relationship is unique, and all fathers bring different experiences into their fatherhood.
Hopes: How would you change your childhood experience? Historical: How is your relationship with your father?
Teachers At a very young age, a child begins spending the majority of their time—and in particular, their learning experiences—with an adult outside of their parents. A teacher develops, enforces, or reinforces social structures in a child’s life. Additionally, the classroom is one of the first social spaces where a child establishes and operates within peer-to-peer relationships. This environment, which is primarily created by a teacher, can shape the relationships within it accordingly. The teacher determines how gender dynamics and power structures are embedded into the classroom. Teachers bring extremely different motivations and experiences into the classroom. Some transfer their political views directly to their students, while others remain private and seek to keep a more objective classroom. Some teachers are mindful of their biases and prejudices, while others are less aware. Some teachers are ambitious for administrative roles, while others are strictly focused on the classroom. Some teachers have many obligations outside of the classroom, while others direct all their attention on teaching. These characteristics change the dynamic of the classroom and must be considered during the design process.
44
Audience
Areas of inquiry: Goals: Why did you want to be a teacher? Concerns: What worries you most in the classroom? Nostalgia: How do you create a classroom or educational experience different from your childhood experience? Social: How does gender play a role in the classroom? Political: Do political opinions and discussions emerge in the classroom? Hopes: What do you hope to teach your students beyond the specific subject? Economics: How do you perceive the role of economics on gender expression?
Coaches and Mentors A coach very quickly becomes a role model, leader, and authoritative figure in a child’s life. For a child who is passionate about their sport or activity of interest, the coach plays a huge role. By deciding the difficulty of a practice, evaluating performances, and providing future recommendations, a coach significantly impacts a child’s happiness and wellbeing. Because children spend large amounts of time with their coaches, the lessons begin to extend well beyond the discipline of coaching. Coaches deal with political issues, handle relational problems, and even get involved in academics. We also know that coaches develop their pupils’ character and values, which influence how students live and act in the world. Coaches also vary significantly by discipline and by whether they lead an individual or a team. In sports, traditional masculinity expresses itself the most. Sports often demand overly aggressive behavior and extreme competition, and expressing any form of emotion may be ridiculed. With an inherently violent sport like football, for example, coaches have both a privilege and an immense burden as they shape young men’s lives. Coaches can choose to perpetuate stereotypes or dismantle them. They can actively discuss the challenges of being both competitive with and respectful of their opponents, as well as the need to relegate aggressive behavior only to the field. Sports are often the springboard for gender stereotypes and personal identity development for boys, which means coaches are a prime candidate for intervention.
Audience
Areas of inquiry: Goals: Why did you want to be a coach? Concerns: What worries you most during practice? Concerns: What worries you most during a performance? Nostalgia: How have your childhood coaches influenced the way you coach today? Social: How do gender stereotypes influence your coaching? Social: How do you balance confidence and aggression on and off the field? Economics: How do you perceive the role of economics on gender expression? Areas of Inquiry (Team) Concerns: How do you balance group mentality within a team? Social: Does the gender expression of individuals impact the team dynamic? Social: How do you handle hazing or bullying within the team? Hopes: How do you balance cooperation within the team and competition outside the team?
45
Mothers A mother’s influence on her son’s identity is paramount, which is why it might seem odd to see a mother listed below teachers and coaches. This list is certainly subjective, and it does not mean that I ignored mothers during the design process. However, specific interventions have not been targeted at mothers. Mothers absolutely contribute to perpetuating stereotypes and promoting a destructive masculine ideal; a mother is just as likely as a father is to say, “Man up.” For a young boy, however, the “obvious” role model tends to be the father, as he can more easily associate himself with his father given that they share the same biological sex. Because of this “natural” inclination, I have chosen to focus on fathers as the parent to influence. Additionally, in looking to influence the interaction between a child and his father, I am hopeful that fathers will be forced to reflect on their own character and gender identity. I am hopeful that fathers will assume what is deemed traditionally motherly and craft an emotional connection with their son (or daughter), as opposed to one that is strictly physical or activity-based. Ideally, when teaching the importance of emotionality to their son, they too will see its value and begin to change.
46
Audience
“Teachers of children see gender equality mostly in terms of ensuring that girls get to have the same privileges and rights as boys within the existing social structure; they do not see it in terms of granting boys the same rights as girls-for instance, the right to choose not to engage in aggressive or violent play, the right to play with dolls, to play dress up, to wear costumes of either gender, the right to choose.� - BELL HOOKS
Research
IV. Research
SECONDARY A compilation of secondary research from the summer before and into the academic year.
Summer Before As I entered the summer between my first and second year, my thesis topic was focused on exploring masculinity, male culture, and how boys are taught these concepts (which is not a significant change from where I ended up). The working title was GentleMEN: A Future of Emotionally Expressive Boys. I was particularly interested in how education and mentorship could shift male culture (which I was looking to explore across cultures) from one of competitiveness, aggression, and emotional suppression to one of cooperation and emotional expression. The first step in this research was to try and understand cooperation. I read through The Evolution of Cooperation, by Robert Axelrod, which uses game theory and the iterative prisoner’s dilemma to shed light on human behavior. Used in economic research, the prisoner’s dilemma is a standard game to analyze why two completely rational individuals might not cooperate, even if it appears that it is in their best interests to do so. Alexrod’s primary finding was that a cooperative strategy called Tit for Tat, where the agent’s initial move is to cooperate and then subsequently mimic the response of its opponent’s previous action, can be evolutionarily stable and beneficial for all involved.
“What accounts for TIT FOR TAT’s robust success is its combination of being nice, retaliatory, forgiving, and clear.” The Evolution of Cooperation For no particular reason, my research journey then shifted into exploring masculinity within the Black community of America. I read a compilation of essays titled Black Cool: One Thousand Streams of Blackness, edited by Rebecca Walker, and Invisible Man, Got the Whole World Watching, by Mychal Denzel Smith; I also revisited two books I had previously read, The Fire Next Time, by James Baldwin and Between the World and Me, by Ta-Nehisi Coates. By breaking down several of the objects and symbols associated with the adjective “cool,” Black Cool explores how “cool” in the Black community is unique, specific, and not replicable. This book provides several explanations of masculinity and male “cool” in modern Black culture. There were two notable takeaways from this experience: first, I must read more of bell hooks’ work (which I get to later) and second, there is a prevalent and shifting dynamic of music as a representation of the Black community—from blues to jazz to Jimi Hendrix to modern hip-hop. Transitioning towards work more directly related to masculinity,
Secondary
51
Invisible Man, Got the Whole World Watching is a memoir articulating the experience of growing up as a Black man in America today. Mychal speaks at length about the destructive nature of Black male/hip-hop culture, specifically the disregard for Black women, who have also been at the center of ongoing civil rights movements.
these books, even though we lived in the same country, or even same cities. These books remind me how people maintain implicit assumptions about others—some have cards stacked against them and others have doors opened for them, and it is crucial to recognize these asymmetrical assumptions of the “other” in order to begin shifting our mindset.
“The other side of restoring dignity to Black manhood through patriarchy and male dominance is where that dignity is derived—the subjugation of Black women. We have used the same violence America used to turn us into niggers, and remind us we are niggers, against Black women, and then we asked for their loyalty. And against the logic of self preservation, they have given it to us.” - Invisible Man, Got the Whole World Watching
“To be Black in the Baltimore of my youth was to be naked before the elements of the world, before all the guns, fists, knives, crack, rape, and disease. The nakedness is not an error, nor pathology. The nakedness is the correct and intended result of policy, the predictable upshot of people forced for centuries to live under fear.” - Between the World and Me
“Unless we recognize that liberation for Black men based in patriarchy and male dominance is liberation for no one, least of all Black women, but not for Black men either.” - Invisible Man, Got the Whole World Watching My experience reading Invisible Man, Got the Whole World Watching reminded me of the first time I read Between the World and Me. As a White American growing up in an affluent suburb, my day-to-day experience was so far removed and dramatically different from the lives described in
52
The Fire Next Time demands selfreflection for both the oppressed and the privileged in positions of power. “There are too many things we do not wish to know about ourselves.” - The Fire Next Time “It demands great spiritual resilience not to hate the hater whose foot is on your neck, and an even greater miracle of perception and charity not to teach your child to hate.” - The Fire Next Time
During this exploration of Black culture, I also read Our Kids, by
Secondary
Robert Putnam, which digs into “opportunity” in America, a concept that most people find central to what makes America, America—“If you work hard, you can make it,” as the saying goes. Our Kids explores upward mobility through multiple lenses and concludes that the barrier to move classes is becoming more and more challenging. A notable research finding was the beneficial impact a positive role model or mentor can have in a child’s life. “By the opening of the twenty-first century, the class gap among students entering kindergarten was two to three times greater than the racial gap.” - Our Kids “Strikingly, Reardon’s analysis also suggests that schools themselves aren’t creating the opportunity gap: the gap is already large by the time children enter kindergarten and he reports, does not grow appreciably as children progress through school.” - Our Kids Moonlight, 2016 Academy Award winner for Best Picture, provides a visceral and beautiful illustration of the culture I had been reading about. Told in three parts, the film follows a homosexual boy in an impoverished Black community navigating a hypermasculine, and therefore vicious, environment as he comes of age. Within this particular context, Moonlight captures the immense
challenges for boys and men when they are “different” and seek to open up with their friends or family. The next step in my research was to broaden my scope away from specific cultures. I read Gender Trouble, by Judith Butler, The Macho Paradox, by Jackson Katz, and Testosterone Rex, by Cordelia Fine. Gender Trouble was instrumental in criticizing the notion of “representative politics”; it challenges the categorization of “women” while ignoring additional, complicating factors such as age, ethnicity, and sexuality. Butler argues that “gender” is simply scripted, rehearsed, and performed. This academic perspective was crucial to my understanding and articulation of the “mask” of masculinity, a concept that I’d already been introduced to by the documentary The Mask You Live In. Additionally, Butler’s theory, combined with scientific research evaluating inherent behavioral differences between the biological sexes, disproves the narrative that boys and girls are fundamental different. In other words, it’s a myth. “As a result, gender is not to culture as sex is to nature; gender is also the discursive/cultural means by which “sexed nature” or “a natural sex” is produced and established as “prediscursive,” prior to culture, a politically neutral surface on which culture acts.” - Gender Trouble
Secondary
55
“There is no gender identity behind the expressions of gender; that identity is performatively constituted by the very ‘expressions’ that are said to be its results.” Gender Trouble The Macho Paradox and additional talks, documentaries, and readings from Jackson Katz have been essential in re-framing the debate on “women’s issues.” Katz illustrates how “men” and “boys” are rarely implicated in the violence of today’s society primarily due to the rhetoric used to discuss these topics. The “dominant” culture is never at the forefront of issues, escaping critical evaluation. For example, when someone says “race,” the public association is Black or Latino, never White. Additionally, The Macho Paradox is filled with staggering and disturbing statistics. “Bureau of Justice Statistics says that over 85% of violent crimes in the US are committed by men.” The Macho Paradox “99% of rape is perpetrated by men.” - The Macho Paradox “92% of women named ‘reducing domestic violence and sexual assault’ as top priority in 2003 survey.” - The Macho Paradox Testosterone Rex applies a scientific framework (specifically biological,
56
evolutionary, and social sciences) to evaluate the truth behind gender stereotypes, specifically that women are “hardwired” to be less sexually active, less competitive, and less aggressive. Fine also debunks the common “explanation” that testosterone is the driving force behind these differences. “If we stop believing that boys and men are emotional cripples and fly-by-night Casanovas who just want sex, and start believing that they’re full, complete human beings who have emotional and relational needs, imagine what might happen.” - Andrew Smiler, in Testosterone Rex “A neuroscientist certainly might be able to correctly guess your sex from your brain, but she wouldn’t be able to guess the structure of your brain from your sex.” Testosterone Rex “Perhaps white males see less risk in the world because they create, manage, control, and benefit from so much of it. Perhaps women and non-white men see the world as more dangerous because in many ways they are more vulnerable, because they benefit less from many of its technologies and institutions, and because they have less power and control.” - Testosterone Rex “Contrary to popular belief, in humans there’s little convincing evidence for a significant link
Secondary
love as a verb, rather than a noun, and that we must move away from domination and ego and towards trust, commitment, and respect for love to thrive.
between baseline circulating T (Testosterone) and social status, and most studies have failed to find relationships between T and sexual desire in healthy men with T levels within normal range.” Testosterone Rex “If one wants to change the distribution of a given trait in a population, the task is not to overcome nature but to rearrange the developmental system.” - Letitia Meynell, quoted in Testosterone Rex While reading Testosterone Rex, I picked up a Harvard Business School case study titled Men as Cultural Ideals: How Culture Shapes Gender Stereotypes. In this paper, gender stereotypes are tested against cultures, specifically in South Korea and America, which have different cultural “ideals” of independence vs. interdependence. The results of these studies prove that gender stereotypes are flexible to the cultural values established. The summer ended with Half the Sky, by Sheryl WuDunn and Nicholas D. Kristof and All About Love, by bell hooks. Half the Sky provides troubling yet groundbreaking accounts of male and cultural oppression towards women around the world. In All About Love, bell hooks offers a unique perspective on love, advocating for a cultural shift toward openness when giving and receiving love. hooks proposes a redefinition of
58
“The wounded child inside many males is a boy who, when he first spoke his truths, was silenced by paternal sadism, by a patriarchal world that did not want him to claim his true feelings.” - All About Love As I entered my thesis year after a summer of research, I found myself focused on a specific narrative that has been created to maintain a patriarchal society, a narrative often called the “man box” or “masculine script”—to “be a man” is to solve conflict with aggression, objectify women, amass personal fortune, and suppress all emotions (except anger). Shifting this narrative requires challenging the vision parents project onto their children; forcing parents to evaluate their rhetoric and behavior towards both their male and female children; and questioning why we teach different values to boys and girls. And as we begin to rethink what it means to “be a man,” we can liberate the next generation of men to be emotionally free and full humans.
Secondary
Continued Moving into the first semester, I continued my secondary research with a sharper focus on my topic area. Below, I have highlighted particularly poignant or resonant quotes from the readings and videos I consumed during the school year.
The Descent of Man by Grayson Perry Perry’s Descent of Man beautifully articulates everything I already felt and believed about masculinity, so reading it was both affirming and disheartening. Seeing Perry pull all these thoughts into a single collective narrative was useful for distilling my own argument. “One could argue that with its impulse to dominate, masculinity is at odds with modernism and its drive toward a fair society.” “I think the only way we can get men to participate wholeheartedly in change is to frame it sympathetically as beneficial for them as well as for wider society.” “A lot of men are sold the narrative of male domination, but lead lives of frustration and servitude. No wonder they get angry.” “As their economies modernize and flourish, it is becoming apparent that feminine skills are much more economically desirable today. Boys and men need to change, not just for a fair society and their own mental health, but for pure survival in the digital age.” “The history of pink shows us that the symbols of masculinity and femininity can be totally arbitrary.” “A man who grows up in a household with domestic violence is three to four times more likely to grow up to be
Secondary
59
a violent abuser himself than if he hadn’t. Violence begets violence.” “I look at the news, and the driving force behind so many of the world’s problems seems to be out of control masculinity.” (This is exactly how I felt at the start of this thesis exploration.) “But this downplaying of their emotional complexity is, I think, the aspect of masculinity that we most urgently need to change. Men need to transform their relationship with violence, performance and power. That change must begin with their emotions, by allowing boys and men more emotional space. A positive change in masculinity would be a massive positive change for the world. Emotional illiteracy is difficult for boys to deal with, yet they are brought up to accept this as readily as their beards growing and voices breaking.”
We Should All Be Feminists by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie Adichie’s adapted book from her popular TED talk is a beautiful and easily digestible reading on feminism and her goals for equality. Feminism has received a negative reputation for supposed male-bashing, but in reality, as Adichie and other thought leaders highlight, feminism is about equality for all and dismantling harmful stereotypes and power dynamics. “We spend too much time teaching girls to worry about what boys think of them. But the reverse is not the case. We don’t teach boys to care about being likeable.” “The problem with gender is that it prescribes how we should be rather than recognizing how we are. Imagine how much happier we would be, how much freer to be our true individual selves, if we didn’t have the weight of gender expectations.” “Some people ask, ‘Why the word feminist? Why not just say you are a believer in human rights, or
60
Secondary
something like that?’ Because that would be dishonest. Feminism is, of course, part of human rights in general – but to choose to use the vague expression human rights is to deny the specific and particular problem of gender. It would be a way of pretending that it was not women who have, for centuries, been excluded. It would be a way of denying that the problem of gender targets women. That the problem was not about being human, but specifically about being a female human. For centuries, the world divided human beings into two groups and then proceeded to exclude and oppress one group. It is only fair that the solution to the problem should acknowledge that.”
Is Female to Male as Nature is to Culture? by Sherry B. Ortner Ortner sets out to explain the subordination of women. To do so, she contrasts culture and nature through a human lens and posits that the former is superior to the latter; because we associate women with nature, it would follow that men are superior to women. This fascinating analysis provides an interesting framework toward the end of the paper, offering a two-pronged method to combat gendered, hierarchical distinctions—cultural shift + institutional change. “This is to say, not that biological facts are irrelevant, or that men and women are not different, but that these facts and differences only take on significance of superior/inferior within the framework of culturally defined value systems.” “... woman’s body seems to doom her to mere reproduction of life, the male, in contrast, lacking natural creative functions, must (or has the opportunity to) assert his creativity externally, ‘artificially,’ through the medium of technology and symbols. In so doing, he creates relatively lasting, eternal, transcendent objects, while the woman creates only perishables - human beings.” “Because of woman’s greater bodily involvement with the natural functions surrounding reproduction, she is seen as more a part of nature than man is.” “It is clear, then, that the situation must be attacked from both sides. Efforts directed solely at changing the social institutions - through setting quotas on hiring, for example, or through passing
Secondary
61
equal-pay-for-equal-work laws - cannot have farreaching effects if cultural language and imagery continue to purvey a relatively devalued view of women. But at the same time efforts directed solely at changing cultural assumptions - through male and female consciousnessraising groups, for example, or through revision of educational materials and mass-media imagery cannot be successful unless the institutional base of society is changed to support and reinforce the changed cultural view.”
Feminist Manhood (chapter within Will to Change) by bell hooks Written before Adichie’s We Should All Be Feminists, bell hooks outlines a similar message to her readers. hooks, one of the primary thought leaders in the feminist movement to dismantle our patriarchal society, paints a clear picture of the immediate damage we inflict on boys at a young age. I came across this piece of writing by joining a Facebook group titled “Feminist Discussion on Masculinities,” where this excerpt was the founding body of work for the group’s discussion. It also served as inspiration and direction during my journey of gender and redefining modern masculinity. “...patriarchy in its most basic, unmediated form promotes fear and hatred of females. A man who is unabashedly and unequivocally committed to patriarchal masculinity will both fear and hate all that the culture deems feminine and womanly.” “Teachers of children see gender equality mostly in terms of ensuring that girls get to have the same privileges and rights as boys within the existing social structure; they do not see it in terms of granting boys the same rights as girls-for instance, the right to choose not to engage in aggressive or violent play, the right to play with dolls, to play dress up, to wear costumes of either gender, the right to choose.”
62
Secondary
“... we must define maleness as a state of being rather than as performance. Male being, maleness, masculinity must stand for the essential core goodness of the self, of the human body that has a penis.” “... we must first replace the dominator model with a partnership model that sees interbeing and interdependency as the organic relationship of all living beings.” “Rather than defining strength as ‘power over,’ feminist masculinity defines strength as one’s capacity to be responsible for self and others.” “That love and domination can coexist is one of the most powerful lies patriarchy tells us all. Most men and women continue to believe it, but in truth, loves transforms domination.”
Pedagogy of the Oppressed by Paulo Freire Freire wrote Pedagogy of the Oppressed in 1968. It remains a seminal text in evaluating and addressing oppressive systems, and has become a cornerstone of education degrees. While it was written in response to Brazilian politics and the dehumanization of the people, Freire outlines an analysis of the “oppressed” and the “oppressor” to deconstruct the power dynamic and ultimately brings this into how we educate. Criticizing what Freire calls the “banking approach” —defining students as empty vessels to deposit information and facts—and instead arguing for a mutual learning approach where student and teacher co-create knowledge together. Freire argues the “banking approach” is dehumanizing, for both the teacher and student, and reflects a greater societal structure of oppressed and oppressor. “... the oppressor, who is himself dehumanized because he dehumanize others, is unable to lead this struggle.”
Secondary
63
“As the oppressed, fighting to be human, take away the oppressors’ power to dominate and suppress, they restore to the oppressors the humanity they had lost in the exercise of oppression.” “In their alienation, the oppressed want at any cost to resemble the oppressors, to imitate them, to follow them. This phenomenon is especially prevalent in the middle-class oppressed, who yearn to be equal to the “eminent” men and women of the upper class.” “The teacher cannot think for her students, nor can she impose her thought on them. Authentic thinking, thinking that is concerned about reality, does not take place in ivory tower isolation, but only in communication.” “Authentic liberation-- the process of humanization-- is not another deposit to be made in men. Liberation is a praxis: the action and reflection of men and women upon their world in order to transform it.” “The dehumanization resulting from an unjust order is not a cause for despair but for hope, leading to the incessant pursuit of the humanity denied by injustice.”
Pink Brain, Blue Brain by Lise Eliot Pink Brain, Blue Brain helped reinforce my findings from Dr. Cordelia Fine’s Testosterone Rex. In fact, I emailed Dr. Fine after watching videos of Dr. Michael Gurian, which felt conflicting to her core message, and she recommended reading Dr. Eliot’s work in more detail to find further evidence. Dr. Eliot provides several examples of contemporary research to suggest there is little support for the idea that boys and girls are fundamentally different. She maintains a similar sentiment as Testosterone Rex, that we as a society have crafted a narrative to justify and ultimately believe that men and women are fundamentally different to maintain a power structure.
64
Secondary
Videos and Documentaries
emotional barriers.
I watched a variety of documentaries and countless videos throughout the thesis journey. I have listed just a few below and written details about two of the most impactful documentaries. • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
The Red Pill Tough Guise The Work The Mask You Live In Miss Representation Hip-Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes Michael Gurian videos Lise Eliot talks Michael Kimmel talks Clint Smith talks Tony Porter talks Colin Stokes talks Jackson Katz talks Justin Baldoni talks
The Work A recent (2017 released) documentary set inside Folsom Prison follows three men from the outside who participate in a yearly four-day group therapy session with level-four convicts. Over the four days, each man in the room takes his turn at delving deep into his past; the common theme in their stories, and the cause of their mental anguish, is absent or abusive fathers. This documentary showcases the power of therapy and emotional openness. To witness the most manly of men dig down and share their most vulnerable memories was inspiring, and it is hopeful to know that everyone can break down their
The Mask You Live In I rewatched The Mask You Live In, a documentary that showcases the struggle to stay true to society’s narrow definition of masculinity. I watched this documentary the summer before I began graduate school, and it was one of the first times I really began to question traditional masculinity; it finally provided me with the language to evaluate my identity. While the documentary didn’t directly inspire me to begin this thesis, it was certainly a subconscious factor. Educator and activist Ashanti Branch (whom I interviewed!) carries out a powerful exercise by asking young boys to write how they actually feel behind a mask. The performance and the “mask” men have to put on everyday really hit home, and for the first time, I fully understood the weight that men feel and I feel when ignoring my true feelings.
Secondary
67
IV. Research
NEWS & MEDIA Methodology for staying current on the international conversation and highlighting the significant articles over the past year.
To stay current on the international conversation surrounding masculinity, I set up a Google Alerts system to curate articles that fit my area of research. Every day, I receive an email collecting articles that contain the key words below:
1. Manhood 2. Masculinity 3. Patriarchy 4. Testosterone 5. Boy development 6. Child development
This daily wrap-up of the latest news articles, combined with my independent research, allowed me to stay up to date on developments within the specific fields and national conversation. I have highlighted screenshots of the most talkedabout and relevant articles over the past year.
News & Media
69
IV. Research
DIAGRAMS A collection of diagrams and maps that helped create connections between research and interviews.
Diagrams
73
74
Chapter Title
Chapter Title
75
IV. Research
WORKSHOPS Field research to hear directly from user audience: young children and traditionally masculine men.
What is a gender stereotype? To gain a fresh perspective on the gender stereotypes present in children’s lives, I ran a co-creation workshop with a 4th grade class at a Brooklyn charter school called Success Academy. The class teacher, Ms. Corey Fried, and I led the threepart workshop. The first phase of the workshop focused on teaching the concept of “gender stereotypes” to the class. Ms. Fried was amazing at explaining general concepts, identifying new vocabulary terms, and encouraging participation among the students. We roughly followed the “What is a gender stereotype?” lesson
plan from the online organization Tolerance.Org. Students were asked to identify how boys and girls are typically described and expected to behave. Individual students also stood up to share personal stories as examples of gender stereotyping. The students’ “aha” moment occurred during this phase. Ms. Fried asked if any boys would be willing to share a story of when they felt gender stereotyped. The boys hesitated, slowly looked around, and ducked their heads. Quickly recognizing the issue, Ms. Fried asked if any girls would like to share a story of gender stereotyping, and almost every girl raised her hand immediately. Most of the students were shocked by this revelation, which sparked an
Chapter Title
79
engaging discussion on whether boys are naturally more shy than girls, or whether boys are simply conditioned to hold back their feelings. The next phase of the workshop asked students to sit at their desks, reflect, and write or draw an instance where they felt stereotyped based on gender. Each student was given a worksheet to fill out and could choose to remain anonymous. Unexpectedly, many of the personal stories depicted scenarios of boys being told to stop crying. These stories were told in two ways—from a boy’s perspective, being commanded to “man up” because “boys don’t cry,” and from a girl’s perspective, being encouraged to cry while male peers were told to stop. I was surprised to see the prevalence of this behavior. For girls, almost all stereotypes were related to sports; they were told they should stop playing sports and be
80
more “girly.” After the personal reflection session, we brought all the students back together to discuss our group assignment. First, I told a story of being ridiculed with a homosexual slur for wearing a pink t-shirt at a party in high school. Next, Ms. Fried, a student, and I acted out our own skit to illustrate the goal of the assignment. We began by reenacting my high school story, but then I introduced a tool to “combat” the situation: I had a magic wand that changed people’s clothes to different colors. After being bullied for my pink shirt, I used the wand to change their shirt to pink. The bully realized that they, in fact, liked the color pink, and, proud of their new wardrobe, they wanted to change their friend’s clothing too. The students laughed quite a bit and were very interested in the idea of “inventing” a tool.
Workshops
The students broke into teams as we handed out materials. The initial creation phase was simply fun—they blew up balloons, spread Play-Doh around, and sliced fabric into pieces. As Ms. Fried and I walked around the classroom, we encouraged the students to think of a narrative that they could tell together regarding creative ways to change the status quo. After a fun session of arts and crafts and developing a story, the student groups each shared their skits with the whole class. Unfortunately, almost all the students developed a “tool” similar to the one from my skit: a magic object that changed people’s minds. Although the tools were not
particularly interesting, the stories acted out highlighted a theme the class felt strongly about. Girls are often excluded from sports or dissuaded from playing sports all together, told that they should be more “girly.” As we moved into final reflections as a class, we openly discussed this tension between girls and sports. The class consensus for a hopeful future was one that blurred the lines between boys and girls in sports and encouraged both sexes to participate and collaborate equally. While “gender stereotypes” might seem like a heavy topic for young children, they grasped it quickly and were able to offer fresh perspectives on the topic.
Chapter Title
81
Highlights from Reflection Sheets:
Topic of Each Acted Story:
- Many stories were of boys being told not to cry while girls are allowed and encouraged to cry - Girl stereotypes tend to center on being more “girly� and not playing sports
1. Baseball, girl not allowed to play 2. Basketball, girl not allowed to play 3. Baseball, girl not allowed to play 4. Basketball, girl not allowed to play by mom 5. Boy wearing purple, gets bullied 6. At BBQ, boy with long hair not allowed in 7. Selfies not OK for boys
Overall Findings: - Girls were more willing to share stereotypes while boys were hesitant or unwilling to share - 4 out of the 7 stories acted out were around sports and girls not playing
82
Chapter Title
Chapter Title
83
84
Chapter Title
Chapter Title
85
86
Chapter Title
Chapter Title
87
GOSO Group Discussion In an effort to broaden my conversations beyond a demographic that resembled my own, I reached out to a social worker at GOSO (organization details below), who organized a meeting with men working with GOSO as an alternative to the criminal justice system. We began the conversation without a set plan, but it evolved into a candid and open discussion about the expectations of being a man in today’s society. From the GOSO website: “Getting Out and Staying Out (GOSO) empowers young men to avoid involvement in the criminal justice system by reshaping their futures through educational achievement, meaningful employment, and financial independence. GOSO focuses on the individuals’ capacities and
88
strengths, as well as developmental needs and emotional well-being. Our aim is to promote personal, professional, and intellectual growth through goal-oriented programming and comprehensive social support services.”
Discussion Details - Attendees = 7 men enrolled in GOSO, 2 social workers that work full time at GOSO, a classmate, and myself - Initial prompt question: What does it mean to be a man?
Reflection What I found most interesting was the subtle contradiction between feeling that one can be open and emotionally expressive, yet perceiving emotional expression as a risk and therefore holding back.
Workshops
Many of the young men stated that of course they could express themselves in any form; however, they also highlighted the boundaries, limitations, and lines they would have to draw with their peers or partners to appear tough and in control. The notion of “pride” was unanimously agreed to be a uniquely male trait and a necessary element of defining oneself. These men seemed aware of the restrictive nature of masculine stereotypes and expectations, yet they appeared comfortable with it. They talked passionately about their duties and obligations as men and
their unwavering support for their families. The men who participated in the conversation were inspiring. While their stories with the criminal justice system were heartbreaking and, I believe, a result of lapses in judgment or being caught up in the wrong moment, they were candid and honest with their feelings about the challenges of being a man and fatherhood.
Anonymous Quotes from Discussion: “Men shouldn’t show fear. We have fear, but pride masks it.” “If men show emotions and fear, then guys and their women can take advantage of it, and capitalize on it. You can’t give away that power.” “Man is the leader.” “Men take care of their responsibilities. This is number 1.” “Men can express their emotions and not be offended. Any emotions.” “When a man comments or ridicules another man’s emotions— that’s what makes you feel less of a man.” “Pride is a man’s trait. Women are supposed to tell us what we are doing wrong so women cannot have pride.”
Workshops
89
IV. Research
INTERVIEWS A compilation of both subject matter expert interviews and user interviews.
roles influence those communities.
Over the course of the year, I interviewed thirty-six individuals, both subject matter experts and target users. Subject matter experts consisted of four areas of expertise:
1. Psychologists 2. Educators 3. Gender Studies Majors 4. Leaders I spoke with psychologists to understand clinical practices and research on behavioral norms, and I talked with mentors and counselors to see how gender transpires in these relationships. I spoke with educators to observe how gender is represented in learning spaces, and I met with gender studies majors to learn about the academic viewpoints on the topic. And lastly, I discussed gender roles with religious leaders to survey how their communities perceive gender norms and how their own leadership
All of these interviewees are “ordinary people.” They have parents, are parents, or are even grandparents. Some are recent parents, and some are thinking about becoming parents soon. Some play sports, and some participate in community organizations. Everyone consumes a wide range of media. Their personal experiences, in addition to their professional expertise, informed our discussions. In particular, their parenting style and experiences as a parent almost always came up, so I have recorded each interviewee’s parental status. The following pages summarize the thirty-six interviews. They include each interviewee’s name, role, educational background, and parental status, as well as quotes that I found insightful or representative of the sentiment of our discussion.
1. Socioeconomics correlated to gender expression A common association made was that lower income neighborhoods saw more violence and oppression of women, as a result of masculine expression. Often, the conclusion was that socioeconomic status correlated to the expression of typical gender stereotypes.
2. Age of interviewee correlated to consciousness of gendered behavior Older interviewees, particularly parents with grown children, were not overly conscious of gender stereotypes or projecting onto their children. However, younger interviewees, particularly recent or about to be parents,
Interviews
91
were hypersensitive to gender norms and were thinking about this as they imagined their child’s upbringing.
3. Language is key to breaking down gender stereotypes Many interviewees, across professions, expressed that breaking down gender stereotypes starts with language and how we talk to children; they highlighted that subtle and seemingly innocuous phrases can have greater damage than we realize.
4. Generational change must be considered In analyzing the issue of gender stereotypes, most interviewees recognized the tension of immediate (i.e. behavioral) vs. longer term (i.e. cultural) change when addressing this problem.
5. “Whole Child Type” psychology theory is critical to consider Psychologists recommended reading more into the field of research regarding “Whole Child Type” or sometimes referred to as spheres of influence. This research considers how there are varying degrees of influence on a child as one moves away from immediate impact.
6. Methods of creating a vulnerable environment aligned across disciplines Steps taken by school counselors were similar to measures taken by psychologists to create a welcoming, comforting, and ultimately vulnerable environment for individuals to open up.
7. Conflict resolution skills appear gendered Both psychologists and educators, they reported that females tend to hold a stronger ability to resolve conflict verbally.
92
Interviews
“When pain is suppressed, then you cannot fully experience joy.”
Dr. Ron Rand Ordained Pastor, Founder of UpBuilding Ministries, > 30 years experience Doctorate, Princeton University Father of 3 men
“A real man is in touch with all of his feelings.” “When pain is suppressed, then you cannot fully experience joy.” “Tears are the language of the heart.”
Interviews
93
“Language creates duality… We view so much as black and white… Make people comfortable with the in-between.”
Dr. Kristine McCormick Doctoral Student in Clinical Psychology University of Denver Not a parent
“I’d hold a space for them to explore the social construct and learn for themselves.” “Using CBT (cognitive behavior treatment), intervene in a negative thought process. Design around catching thoughts.” “Language creates duality… We view so much as black and white… Make people comfortable with the in-between.”
94
Interviews
“People need to be made uncomfortable if they are going to think in a radical way about gender.”
Natallie Dupille Gender Neutral Environment Consultant and Illustrator Gender Studies BA, Colorado College Not a parent
“People need to be made uncomfortable if they are going to think in a radical way about gender.” “Lots of liberals are not there yet… they see surface level solutions—of course teach girls to be brave. But there is not a deep examination of why socially constructed gender.” “In general, dismantling the gender binary would be the end all be all solution to a lot of our problems, and especially this one, but that will take multiple generations and we are still just getting started in terms of gender neutrality. So in the meantime, short-term solutions are vital and necessary and I’m really excited to see what you come up with.”
Interviews
95
“We sometimes take for granted the ability that female students have to resolve conflict.”
Margaret Hans Social Worker at Skyline High School Social Work MSW, University of Chicago Not a parent
“We are a lot more prevalent to assume that when females struggle, it is rooted in anxiety or stress, versus for males it’s rooted in unwillingness to do things (i.e. if they wanted to do it, they would).” “I think male teachers are much more likely to vocalize to their male students on what it means to be a man.” “We sometimes take for granted the ability that female students have to resolve conflict.”
96
Interviews
“Different cultures have different levels of aggression based on historical experiences.”
Jonathan Weinberg Social Services Program Manager, Santa Clara County > 30 years of experience Father of 1 girl and 1 boy
“People who are aggressive, that is their problem-solving mechanism to deal with conflict.” “Different cultures have different levels of aggression based on historical experiences.” “The classroom is the greatest opportunity (pre-K or kindergarten) to identify and work on the behaviors that make kids feel like being pushed into a specific box.” “Systems need to adapt to better take care of children on the gender spectrum—need to improve on terms, definitions, and lived experience.”
Interviews
97
“From a social, political, values perspective, we want to say equal access and rights for both genders. But from a psychological and spiritual place, how do we define what is different without changing that format?”
David Steinhardt Rabbi, Bnai Torah Congregation; > 25 years experience Rabbinical School Father of 2 sons and 1 daughter
“I am at a place now where I take it for granted. I don’t think about it in gender separation.” “From a social, political, values perspective, we want to say equal access and rights for both genders. But from a psychological and spiritual place, how do we define what is different without changing that format?”
98
Interviews
“Common thread of masculine stereotypes is socioeconomics—a sense of powerlessness.”
Ruben Honik Big Brother Mentor and Lawyer JD, Rutgers University Father of 2 girls
“I just never consciously thought about it in the context of gender roles or the terms of masculinity.” re: woman as Big Brother—“However, fundamentally, any thoughtful person who shows up and is a constant presence could accomplish most if not all of the goals” “When people don’t take offense to boys being aggressive, it reinforces a biological difference.” “Common thread of masculine stereotypes is socioeconomics—a sense of powerlessness.”
Interviews
99
“I would never expect a child, just because he’s a boy, to bounce up. He needs the same ability to get love and then move on.”
Kaitlin Hogel Middle School Math Teacher Education BA, Duquesne University Recent mother of 1 daughter and 1 son
“A good educator doesn’t just state a diagnosis and leave it at that, but needs to find ways to work within needs.” “I was afraid of having a boy because I want to raise a son who is sensitive, can communicate how he feels and emotions... But I also don’t want to set him up to be ostracized socially.” “I would never expect a child, just because he’s a boy, to bounce up. He needs the same ability to get love and then move on.”
100
Interviews
“We need to create emotionally intelligent, sensitive people. This is just part of being a good person. You can be a jock and sensitive.”
Stephen Flynn Athletic Director of High School and Partner of Red Temple Psychology BA, University of California at Davis Not a parent
“The things that I define as being a man, are really just what defines being an adult. The binary separation serves no purpose. I would say the same things to a young man as I would a young woman.” “We need to create emotionally intelligent, sensitive people. This is just part of being a good person. You can be a jock and sensitive.” “Women just do not function from their ego as much as men do.”
Interviews
101
Rachel Brosamle Counseling Director at Otis College of Art and Design Clinical Psychology PhD, Alliant International University Not a parent
“I work with a diverse group of students, and I’m seeing in this generation (the Y generation), a much more genderfluid/non-binary expression with they/them pronouns. This might be because I’m at an art and design school though.” “I feel old around some students even though I totally understand conceptually. I struggle with pronouns, yet students are so comfortable around it. It’s great to see this generation pushing gender into a new way.” “There are beautiful and important aspects to masculine and feminine traits. But how do we talk about them without prescribing them to gender?” “There is absolutely male privilege; however, I think men are not completely winning either, especially when prescribing to really traditional roles. Feeling trapped comes out in psychological ways.”
102
Interviews
“There are beautiful and important aspects to masculine and feminine traits. But how do we talk about them without prescribing them to gender?�
“If you’re not trying hard, then you’re missing the point, and you probably had a bunch of unconscious stuff put on your kids.”
Leah Casto Lawyer and Inclusivity in Workplace Activist Gender Studies BA, Dartmouth College | JD, University of Michigan Not a parent
“I don’t care if strangers know the gender of my child.” “If you’re not trying hard, then you’re missing the point, and you probably had a bunch of unconscious stuff put on your kids.” “...feminism is not just women’s rights, but it impacts both sexes. People should be valued based on who we are, not what we are born as.”
104
Interviews
“Kids interpret the micro things. For example, picking male students more often, or reacting to behaviors and responses differently by gender.”
Dr. Molly Schlesinger Postdoctoral Fellow at Temple University Developmental Psychology PhD, University of California at Riverside Not a parent
“Early beliefs transform into more concrete action. Little interventions have a significant impact. For example, a female math teacher—representation to counter stereotypes.” “A teacher is going to be more accepting and positive when there is diversity in the classroom.” “Kids interpret the micro things. For example, picking male students more often, or reacting to behaviors and responses differently by gender.” “Children are not blank slates. They are bringing experiences with them, and we need to consider that.”
Interviews
105
“...I don’t think, for me, in terms of gender or sexuality I would do things differently than my parents.”
Jake Beck Big Brother Mentor Business BS, Kelley School of Business at Indiana University Not a parent
“I don’t think I would do anything different in gender or gender roles compared to my parents/my childhood. My dad is much more emotive; he’s a crier. Mom was more of a stern parent and disciplinarian. I don’t think, for me, in terms of gender or sexuality I would do things differently than my parents.”
106
Interviews
“It’s more generally expected within culture for a female counselor to be more nurturing and caring with a student as compared to a male. This causes conundrums and dilemmas from time to time.”
Casey Bowles School Counselor at College Prep High School Masters of Education, DePaul University Recent father of 1 son, another child on the way
“It’s more generally expected within culture for a female counselor to be more nurturing and caring with a student as compared to a male. This causes conundrums and dilemmas from time to time.” “We figured out that we would rather get less house and less convenience, to be able to find a community that is supportive and welcoming. This is what I think about as a parent.” “Common points of connection are critical.”
Interviews
107
“I have a theory—the repercussions for boys in a physical altercation are easier to repair after the fact. But for girls that are aggressive socially or inclusion-related, this is much more damaging in the long run.”
Dr. Jamal Fields VP at Boys and Girls Clubs and Ex-Principal Doctor of Education Leadership, Harvard University Father of 3 children (gender not specified)
“I definitely think there is a tie to socioeconomics. Because of the environmental factors as opposed to anything ingrained.” “I think we can turn this around in a generation if we are thoughtful.” “They [parents] would presume it’s the kid’s personality instead of that it is their environment, taking no blame for themselves.” “I have a theory—the repercussions for boys in a physical altercation are easier to repair after the fact. But for girls that are aggressive socially or inclusion-related, this is much more damaging in the long run.”
108
Interviews
“Whether a classroom is gendered is up to the teacher.”
Libby Ashton Principal at K-12 Charter School Philosophy BA, University of Michigan Not a parent
“Given that all teachers cannot be this gifted, it is interesting to think about the cost to our society because school are not capable of achieving their goals. Students are conditioned subtly and we are not necessary aware.” “I am working with teachers to reframe recess as a space where teachers do not exist. Frame it around kindness and safety. If conflict arises, then students are encouraged to solve it themselves first via kind words.” “If you don’t run an empathetic classroom, then it will be a shitshow. And if that makes your job on the line, then you will figure out how to fix this.” “Whether a classroom is gendered is up to the teacher.”
Interviews
109
“My own stereotype thinking: Guys talk about stuff: ideas, things. Women talk about people: feelings, families.”
Dr. Robin Press Treating Clinician, NFL on Substances of Abuse Ph.D. Clinical Psychology, Pacific Graduate School of Psychology Mother of 2 daughters and 1 son
“My own stereotype thinking: Guys talk about stuff: ideas, things. Women talk about people: feelings, families.” Re: football players: “If you are going to get unraveled from trash talk or booing, then you will not perform well and you need to develop a resilience. I think you need to develop a level of perviousness to emotional and physical assault.” Re: football players: “All of them were hypermasculinized. They all valued physical prowess, physical strength, aggression. Beating someone through physical force.” Re football players: “Amount of time, developing that body—you are wearing your armor. It is the complete opposite of opening up.”
110
Interviews
“Common thread of masculine stereotypes is socioeconomics—a sense of powerlessness.”
Dr. David Baum Life Coach, Mentor, Writer PhD Organizational Psychology, Temple University Parent of 2 sons
“If the goal is to raise healthy men, then the most important thing to do is have a healthy relationship with their mother. If you want to know how a man is going to be in a relationship with his wife, look at his relationship with his mother.” “Role models that represent a healthy viewpoint about the way men are (for example: George Clooney) get very little coverage.” “At the end of the day, I don’t think it’s a ‘women need to fix this’ issue—I think men have to take care of our own health and be responsible for how we have led to this problem.”
Interviews
111
Galen Kerrick Masters in Social Work Candidate, University of Washington Studio Art BA, Wheaton College Not a parent
“For me, what I consider the root of it all is shame. Particularly in our capitalist society, which functions based of this message of shame—not pretty enough, smart enough, rich enough, white enough, etc… This message that we are bombarded with over and over again, I think this is harmful for everyone and a message that we start to internalize at a very young age.” “‘Boys don’t cry’—any shame or vulnerability is translated into anger or aggression.” “The opposite of shame is not pride. The opposite of shame is acceptance.” “My worth is never up for discussion/on the table. Disconnecting worth from characteristics. Smart/ beauty does not make someone more worthwhile. ‘I’m worthwhile not because I’m white or tall or goodlooking, just because I am.’ This is the direction we need to go into—separating worth from achievements/ characteristics.” “Today in our society in movies, reality shows, commercials—hyperrealistic and a prescription for real life instead of a teaching story. ‘This is what life is supposed to be like.’”
112
Interviews
“The opposite of shame is not pride. The opposite of shame is acceptance.�
n/a
Ann Luben 6th Grade Teacher M. Ed. University of Missouri, St Louis Not a parent
We spoke in confidence.
114
Interviews
“Our goal is to shift the narratives in pop culture. It is a good place to start, but ask kids where will it go. We want to rewrite stories together.”
Tricia Pool Educational Director, Weekday Pre-K Banks Street College of Education Mother of 1 son
“Learning is so relationship based. So much is about emotion. If uptight, then anxious and cannot learn. Give the kids space to explore.” “Boys develop large muscle ranges first, specifically shoulder muscles, while girls develop fine motor skills.” “Kids develop same way, but grown ups react stereotypically to gender, and therefore affect the child’s brain development. A grown-up response influences the neurological development.” “Our goal is to shift the narratives in pop culture. It is a good place to start, but ask kids where will it go. We want to rewrite stories together.”
Interviews
115
“I think this is the nature of socioeconomic disparity as opposed to gender. These kids as a whole are tougher than coastal/upper income kids. Deal with stuff at much earlier age—goes for both genders.”
Jason Gatoff Tutor and Mentor BA Economics, State University of New York College Not a parent
“In my experience over the last 16 years as a mentor girls and boys have been equally aggressive—gender did not predict behavior.” “I think this is the nature of socioeconomic disparity as opposed to gender. These kids as a whole are tougher than coastal/upper income kids. Deal with stuff at much earlier age—goes for both genders.”
116
Interviews
“Even if no trauma, we still have a cultural background that talks about being a man in a certain way.”
Marc Dones Associate Director, Equity Initiatives at Center for Social Innovation BA Psychiatric Anthropology, NYU Not a parent
“Even if no trauma, we still have a cultural background that talks about being a man in a certain way.” “Intervention points simultaneously—representation and how that representation gets reinforced by caring adults in kids lives. This is what results in behavior change.” “Design a 2 point intervention during those time frames, at school, relying on ambient messaging in the curriculum & school, then reinforced by teachers.”
Interviews
117
“Nothing really curriculum based to break stereotypes. In education, if you want to open that door need to be prepared for backlash.”
Alex Wilcox 3rd Grade Teacher BA Sociology, Laurier University Not a parent
“[There is] nothing really curriculum based to breakdown stereotypes. In education, if you want to open that door, [you] need to be prepared for backlash”
118
Interviews
n/a
Lt. Rich Burdick Lieutenant, Palm Beach Sheriff Office > 20 years of experience Not a parent
We spoke in confidence.
Interviews
119
“In response to bullying - you have to push back. But, I would have never told my daughter to hit. My son was never going to be aggressive, but he was told to push back.”
Sherri Begleiter Health Educator and Nurse BA Education, Stockton University | BA Nursing, Syracuse University Mother of 1 son and 1 daughter
“In response to bullying—you have to push back. But, I would have never told my daughter to hit. My son was never going to be aggressive, but he was told to push back.”
120
Interviews
“Gender in school - I see it a lot in athletics. Boys get pushed harder by coaches. Girls are allowed to jog / be casual.”
Ashanti Branch Founder & Executive Director, Ever Forward | TED Speaker Masters in Education, Mills College Not a parent
“Gender in school—I see it a lot in athletics. Boys get pushed harder by coaches. Girls are allowed to jog or be casual.” “As school leader—evaluate based on district criteria. If you see things that don’t feel right, have right to say something. But its a touchy battle & have to be careful.” “‘Boys will be boys’—we wouldn’t say this, but it came out. It was more of an idea that it would come out in behavior.” “Gender was not on the list to be watching for. Not that I wasn’t serving it. It would be a dance between principal and teacher to not be evaluated on.”
Interviews
121
Cole Yaverbaum Special Ed Teacher, Charter School Masters in Education, Relay Graduate School of Education Not a parent
“In school setting—boys are often taught it is not cool to be good at school.” “I always want to be mindful of bias and stereotypes, particularly boys of color. How can I not let them effect how I interact with kids? Need to break away from the simple ‘angry black boy’ stereotypes.” “At beginning of year—session on ‘importance of getting to know your kids’—get to know them as people and what makes them unique. This is a really good anti-racist teaching practice—I start to value whole student and want to know about their experiences, learn from them, etc. Not called ‘anti-racist’ but at its core it does help because teachers than teach from the relationships they build vs the stereotypes they project.” “Examining male privilege and masculinity can be hard work, but I think its important and can be really really productive. A space to deconstruct masculinity and let boys evaluate and re-write. I don’t think a lot of this is happening—believe this is because its easy to hold onto privilege and examine.” “I feel like race is higher on the list then gender. As a society, I think more people would say its very clear white people experience privilege in society, but I think less people would say men experience privilege. I don’t think we do a lot to talk about gender in schools.”
122
Interviews
“I always want to be mindful of bias and stereotypes, particularly boys of color. How can I not let them effect how I interact with kids? Need to break away from the simple ‘angry black boy’ stereotypes.”
“Toxic masculinity = the disconnect to the feminine brain. Instead of having synchrony of masculine and feminine, there is more and more of a divide, which leads to toxic masculinity.”
Bob Schwenkler Life and Relationship Coach, Co-Creator of Sex the Podcast BA Audio Engineering, The Evergreen State College Not a parent
“In broader culture: toxic masculinity is domination without being emotionally attuned. I’m going to do what I want and not be emotionally attuned to the impact.” “Toxic masculinity = the disconnect to the feminine brain. Instead of having synchrony of masculine and feminine, there is more and more of a divide, which leads to toxic masculinity.” “How do I create this partnership so can penetrate the world with no doubt in my self with utter conviction but at the same time not dominating other people, blocking out others emotional experiences?”
124
Interviews
“My identity and my bias is automatically going to impact the way I teach. As teachers, we need to unpack our identity. Essential to being an impactual teacher is reflection and self work.”
Caroline Carr Teacher, Katherine Delmer Burke School BA Religious Studies, Whitman College Not a parent
“As educators, our job is to encourage youth to take on new challenges and try new things and not be scared of failure.” “Are educators equipped to take on role of undoing social impact? - totally depends on school, district, and person... I don’t feel like we have structures in American society to provide teachers with what they need.” “My identity and my bias is automatically going to impact the way I teach. As teachers, we need to unpack our identity. Essential to being an impactual teacher is reflection and self work.” “I must model sharing identity so they can try on and evaluate their own identity themselves. Sharing vulnerability. We are their model to build their identity.”
Interviews
125
“We do not have to lose the categories, they just need to be descriptive, not prescriptive.”
Jacob Gervich Documentary Film Editor BA, Reed College Not a parent
“We do not have to lose the categories, they just need to be descriptive, not prescriptive.” “In my day to day, I don’t think as boys or girls, but on a spectrum from butch to feminine.” “Masculinity = always has to be tested. Broken and reconstructed.” “What we really have to do, starts with parents. We have to stop raising boys to be boys and girls to be girls. We should be raising everyone to be people. We should do away with categories. And we should not be forcing people into boxes right from birth. We should be focused on how to make good people, decent human beings.”
126
Interviews
“What we shut down in our children, we have no room for in ourselves. What we feel shame around, this is precisely what is put onto kids.”
Joshua Hathaway Life Coach, No Bullsh!t Communication BA Psychology, UC Santa Cruz | MA Counseling, JFK University Father of 1 son
“Emotionality has been suppressed in our culture. My commitment has always been to find ways to acknowledge, honor, and support our children’s emotional expression while also managing ourselves and our own boundaries.” “When we try to squash emotionality in kids, we make them more wildly emotional. We need to support authentic expression but not feeding expressiveness as manipulation.” “What we shut down in our children, we have no room for in ourselves. What we feel shame around, this is precisely what is put onto kids.” “Often times, instinct is to write off the ‘different.’ But we should take a second and meet them there. Most parents want to impose their reality on their kids.”
Interviews
127
Jonathan Kalin Founder, Party with Consent | Basketball Coach | Public Speaker BA Philosophy, Colby College Not a parent
“So much of toxic masculinity is around un-learning. Because so many of the norms is introduced at such a young age, then we need to ask questions later in life.” “Therefore, there is still the importance of recognizing the collective male bonding that happens and recognizing the opportunities for teachers/faculty/coaches play a role model and recognizing where the line is to what has to be peer 2 peer effort.” “Part of why I felt a moment of obligation—definitely not the first person to do any of this stuff, but its the feeling that it is a cycle, a toxic cycle—passed down generation to generation. How could I use my blank slate to introduce these questions to young men and boys.” “On its own, a party is not toxic. But people that use this space to cultivate something negative or don’t have understanding of consent, then that is toxic. “ “Sad truth—stronger connection with students when manly men are leading discussion. You have to go back, use the platform you have to create change.” “My theory—practically, there must be a middle step: To break down patriarchy, we need people to go into those spaces that have clout and social capital to communicate how we are prisoners to the norms and do not allow us to be our whole selves and it hurts us. Its really hard if you not already receive respect in that capacity.”
128
Interviews
“So much of toxic masculinity is around un-learning. Because so many of the norms is introduced at such a young age, then we need to ask questions later in life.�
“Not much there for men to talk about becoming a dad... Looked up community message boards, library, etc… There is no stable resource for dads with very young kids.”
Isaac Peterson Lawyer, Netflix JD, Northwestern University | BSE Duke University Recent father of a girl
“Not much there for men to talk about becoming a dad. Did some googling and looked around—only saw 1 dad with a baby the entire time (4 months). Looked up community message boards, library, etc… There is no stable resource for dads with very young kids.” “Breast pump is a weird object. But, its weird for women too—its just a weird thing, but it didn’t make me uniquely uncomfortable. Could be better designed for sure.” “Figuring out how to contribute positively to what is a mother-child job is a difficult nut to crack. I spent lots of time trying to absorb the stress that mom is feeling. You just do anything to help.”
130
Interviews
“Dads want to raise boys to be whoever they want to be, but they are terrified of getting it wrong”
Monika Stanislawek Early childhood teacher BA, University of Minnesota | Ed Certificate Sunbridge Institute Mother of daughter
“Dads want to raise boys to be whoever they want to be, but they are terrified of getting it wrong” “For new dads—they are missing role models on how to be these new, modern fathers.” “After age 7 or 8, men generally fall more naturally into the role of dad. But for young kids, new fathers have had very little instruction, while most girls have been practicing forever—they are raised to do it.” “For fathers and sons, to raise the children they want to raise—they have to look at themselves and reflect—what is relationship with father and women in my life? Its selfintrospection in a way that men have not done before. Even before looking at your boy, must look at yourself first.”
Interviews
131
n/a
Devin Young Co-founder & President, Classcraft BS Graphic Design, College de Sherbrooke Just about to become a father
We spoke in confidence.
132
Interviews
Early Explorations
V. Early Explorations
SPECULATIVE What if boys valued feminine activities as much as masculine ones?
Boy Scout Badges The Boy Scouts is the largest youth organization in the United States. Its “goal is to train youth in responsible citizenship, character development, and self-reliance through participation in a wide range of outdoor activities, educational programs, and, at older age levels, career-oriented programs in partnership with community organizations.” Given the wide reach of the Scouts, it is a prime opportunity to push forward positive, “feminine” behaviors. Currently, the Boy Scout merit badges reward traditionally masculine activities and values. I proposed eleven new merit badges ranging in plausible
acceptability, from dancing and poetry, to knitting and jewelry, to make-up artist and drag queen performances. I went on to create physical prototypes by embroidering four of the new badge designs: dancing, knitting, make up artist, and drag performance. The prototypes were photographed and rendered into situation to illustrate the ease of implementing these “feminine” values. The new badges blend in seamlessly with the current suite of badges.
2.4 million boys per year
Speculative
137
V. Early Explorations
INTERVENTION Does color define gender?
Bathroom Signs Inspired by a quote on historical color-coding for boys and girls, I designed two bathroom signs: a pink sign for the boys and a blue sign for the girls. The graphics are identical to the current signs but with culturally atypical color indicators. “... the generally accepted rule is pink for the boys and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.” - Ladies Home Journal, June 1918 This quote was used in a recent book titled The Descent of Man, by UK artist Grayson Perry. Perry goes on to say, “The history of pink shows us that the symbols of masculinity and femininity can be totally arbitrary.” This quote resonated deeply with me. I wanted to provoke people to question the arbitrary nature of the gender distinctions built into our world. After creating the pink boys’ bathroom signs, several people, myself included, reported feeling a cognitive gap between the color and the graphics. The simple color change invoked a subconscious disconnect that was difficult to reconcile. This feeling reminded me of the “Stroop Effect,” which is defined as as a demonstration of interference in the reaction time of a task based on
our embedded knowledge about our environment I installed the signs on the bathrooms of the Products of Design department floor. Additionally, I posted the quote from the Ladies Home Journal in the bathroom to have people question the signs and our general understanding of color-coded gender indicators. After a couple of days, I sent out a survey to the department to gather reactions and gauge overall sentiment. Interestingly, 50% reported having to doing a “double take” the first time they saw the signs when entering the bathroom. Additionally, 25% believed the posted quote to be false and manipulated. This color intervention was a simple and easy method to prompt individuals to question how much of their world is socially constructed and arbitrary. To take this concept further, I’d like to develop stickers to place on bathroom signs around the city via a guerrilla campaign to create a similar dialogue. Initial ideas include sticker graphics to “feminize” the boy illustration and other methods of incorporating pink into the bathroom sign.
Intervention
141
RED BLUE ORANGE PINK GREEN YELLOW
Stroop Effect A demonstration of interference in the reaction time of a task based on our embedded knowledge about our environment.
142
Intervention
“... the generally accepted rule is pink for the boys and blue for the girls. The reason is that pink, being a more decided and stronger color, is more suitable for the boy, while blue, which is more delicate and dainty, is prettier for the girl.� - LADIES HOME JOURNAL, JUNE 1918
Chapter Title
143
V. Early Explorations
SERVICES How do media and language impact the way we raise our kids?
Storytime
and cultural exposure.
What are the kids watching? Storytime is a service that filters and curates media to represent healthy narratives about the full spectrum of human beings. Storytime is powered by Common Sense Media, “the leading independent nonprofit organization dedicated to helping kids thrive in a world of media and technology. We empower parents, teachers, and policymakers by providing unbiased information, trusted advice, and innovative tools to help them harness the power of media and technology as a positive force in all kids’ lives.” Storytime has two primary functions: 1) advanced parental controls to filter out media across multiple service providers and 2) curated content that provides content suggestions based on learning areas, developmental age,
Storytime lives as an application on TV media devices such as AppleTV, Roku, and Chromecast. The service would be provided for free by Common Sense Media as part of their non-profit offerings and leverage the existing partnerships with Google.org, University of Southern California, and other technology organizations. The vision for Storytime is to break down stereotypes and biases prevalent in the media. Building off the service’s initial concept on TV devices, I created a storyboard to evaluate expanding the service into a mobile application. The storyboard centers on filtering media put in front of children. I
Services
145
explored how adults would establish the filter settings. This moment of decision-making is the central component of my thesis, as adults are prompted to think about the gender stereotypes projected onto their children. Adults must establish media limitations and engage in conversation with their partner regarding what is and isn’t acceptable exposure. This confrontation is central to rethinking and, optimistically, rewriting the projection of gender stereotypes.
Next, I focused my development on a specific topic that would require setting limits: representation, defined as the cultural, gender, and sexual orientation portrayal of individuals in media. Five methodologies were determined for setting “representation� in media, which were then digitally wireframed. 1. Sliders + Ratio 2. Ranking 3. Binary 4. A:B comparison of media 5. Survey + Dropdown
To transition this decision into a mobile application, I explored a variety of methodologies for establishing personal settings: sliders, checkboxes, surveys, etc.
146
Services
https://www.google.com/intl/en/about/main/gender-equality-films/
Chapter Title
147
148
Services
Services
149
Speak-ER What do we really say to our kids? Speak-ER is a service concept that analyzes speech between adults and children to evaluate whether adult rhetoric is projecting an identity onto the child, and then provides feedback on how the adults are communicating with children. Leveraging the ubiquity of devices that are listening to speech (Google Home, Amazon Echo, etc.), SpeakER pulls audio from these devices for analysis. Speak-ER has both a mobile application and an online platform. The online platform provides detailed reports on speech patterns and tendencies in communication
150
on a weekly basis. The mobile application’s primary function is to send real-time notifications highlighting egregious phrases to avoid as they are heard. Speak-ER combines proprietary text analysis technology with IBM Watson Tone Analyzer to perform the sophisticated speech analysis. The main differentiator with SpeakER is the 1:1 business model to broaden the reach of impact. Right off the bat, Speak-ER would attract individuals who are already aware of the potential damage of language bias. In order to expand beyond this subgroup, who is likely already taking precautions, I wanted to put Speak-ER into environments
Services
that need it more—namely, the classroom, which is the most at-risk place for children to hear and receive gender microaggressions. As stated by principal Libby Ashton in my interviews: “Given that all teachers cannot be this gifted, it is interesting to think about the cost to our society because schools are not capable of achieving their goals. Students are conditioned subtly, and we are not necessary aware.”
Therefore, as a business model, Speak-ER offers a 1:1 model. For personal use, the service operates on a per-month basis for $5/ month. This individual fee funds the implementation of Speak-ER in public schools to help teachers monitor and improve their communication with students. The vision for Speak-ER is to eliminate the projection of stereotypes onto children through prescriptive language and microaggressions.
“Given that all teachers cannot be this gifted, it is interesting to think about the cost to our society because schools are not capable of achieving their goals. Students are conditioned subtly, and we are not necessary aware” - LIBBY ASHTON
Chapter Title
151
Technology Driving Speak-ER
152
Services
Weekly reports
Realtime notifications
1:1 Pricing Model: 1. Peronal home = $5 / month 2. Public schools funded by profits of personal home service
Services
153
V. Early Explorations
BUSINESS How can we make early childhood education gender neutral?
Spectra Alexia Cohen and I joined forces to create Spectra, a product design firm that develops and sells products to early childhood schools to promote gender-inclusive classrooms. The majority of our research came from Tricia Pool, the educational director at the Weekday School in Riverside Church on the Upper West Side of New York City. Tricia was kind enough to show us around the school, speak with us for several hours, and allow us to test our product concepts. We developed three products based on insights from our interviews with Tricia.
First, we focused on the destructive narratives that are taught to children, such as the typical superhero story where men use violence to solve problems and “win” the girl. We wanted to help teachers write new, healthier stories with their students. “Our goal is to shift the narratives in pop culture. It is a good place to start, but ask kids where will it go. Rewrite stories together.” - Tricia Pool We developed a non-gendered roleplaying kit that allows kids to mix and match animal parts. The concept drew inspiration from my and Alexia’s fond childhood memory of the book Where The Wild Things Are. As kids put on the parts, the teacher
Business
155
“Our goal is to shift the narratives in pop culture. It is a good place to start, but ask kids where will it go. Rewrite stories together.� - TRICIA POOL
helps facilitate a narrative through a guided booklet, creating a story together instead of prescribing one to the students. For pre-K organizations that cannot afford to employ teachers with master’s degrees in education, this toolkit is particularly valuable because it provides an activity that is inherently gender-inclusive. Our next two products built off the interesting muscular development difference between boys and girls. We wanted to use this difference to our advantage and develop a collaborative
activity. “Boys develop large muscle ranges first, specifically shoulder muscles, while girls develop fine motor skills.� - Tricia Pool We created a coloring book mural with deliberately large and small areas to be colored in, to accommodate different motion tendencies. Additionally, we designed a stamping tool for children who prefer large motions. They can use their shoulder muscles to stamp out
paint onto the page. Testing out our prototypes was equal parts fascinating and fun. The roleplaying kit garnered dramatically different levels of engagement based on the age of the child. The two- and three-year-olds loved putting on the parts; however, they struggled to make the imaginative leap necessary to fully embody their characters. The four- and fiveyear-olds immediately embraced their characters and started forming families or tribes based on their new identities. Over time, the younger kids joined in more actively as they better understood the activity. Additionally, the testing of the
roleplaying kit was with two distinct groups of students (both had same age range of 2-5). The first group formed a family. Each kid claimed a different role, such as mother, father, or child. The second group took a very different approach. Three children quickly formed a bear squad and ran around together, ignoring everything else going on around them. The remaining children did their own thing and developed their own characters on their own, occasionally interacting with other students. This difference in group play, while neither more correct than the other, was an indicator that children’s imagination will take off with a minimal framework and a bit of guidance from the teacher.
“Boys develop large muscle ranges first, specifically shoulder muscles, while girls develop fine motor skills.� - TRICIA POOL
The painting exercise went less smoothly, but it was still voted as successful by the teachers of the school. The children started out the activity filling in the areas as intended. However, the kids quickly started painting with their hands and then eventually on themselves. After a discussion with the teachers, we determined that the activity unfolded this way for three reasons. First, there were too many children at the painting table, which created a crowd. Second, the age range influenced how younger and older kids behaved. Because the older kids were a bit more rambunctious, the younger kids followed suit and joined in on the chaos. Third, the paint was very slippery and enticing for the kids to
touch. The teachers stated that the coloring book mural would be a great tool for teaching new vocabulary and for supporting different weekly or monthly themes in the classroom. Additionally, it could serve as a useful summer camp activity to help counselors offer different events throughout the day.
V. Early Explorations
CAMPAIGNS What message would I want to send to the world?
Campaigns
The percentages next to the objects provoked significant discomfort in people who saw the sketches that inspired the campaign.
I created four marketing campaigns as a vehicle to project my message into the world, three of which use well-known identities—Victoria’s Secret, Google, and Nike—to heighten the message.
Tools of Domestic Violence During rapid ideation at the beginning of the semester, I drew objects that are more typically found in male culture or in masculine activities. These objects included everything from baseball bats to hunting equipment to construction boots. After drawing these objects, I found an article investigating the frequency of objects used in cases of domestic violence. There was significant overlap in the report and the objects I’d drawn, so I added these percentages to the sketches.
In most contexts, these objects can seem relatively innocent, so I made “Caution” tags to remind viewers that they can in fact be used as weapons. I applied the “Caution” tags to a belt and boots, then photographed them on a white background to make the objects look benign but the tag striking. These photographs were implemented into a marketing campaign that used subway posters to raise awareness around domestic violence.
Campaigns
165
Victoria’s Secret Sexy is when… What if we could reimagine society’s definition of desirable masculine traits? In Victoria’s Secret’s new ad campaign Sexy is when... we take advantage of the male gaze (fully noting the objectification of women in this advertisement) to promote a new ideal—an ideal that values sensitivity, cooperation, and vulnerability.
170
Campaigns
Google Boys will be ____ How can we rethink our implicit assumptions about boys’ natural behavior? People often say, “Boys will be boys,” a phrase that seems innocuous on the surface. However, by dismissing and naturalizing certain behaviors—such as aggression or even violence—we normalize them and accept more extreme versions later on. In Google’s ad campaign Boys will be___ we are
questioning our implicit notions and asking ourselves to fill in our own versions of what we want boys to be.
Nike Boys Do Cry What if we highlighted the vulnerable side of our children’s role models? In Nike’s ad campaign Boys Do Cry, we question the notion that star athletes are simply dominating, in control, and powerful—we prove that they also have an emotional side. By slightly tweaking the iconic Nike slogan from “Just Do It” to “Just Do You,” we remind kids that they should be comfortable expressing themselves, whoever that may be.
178
Campaigns
V. Early Explorations
SUSTAINABLE How can we help young, male athletes to connect with food?
Fresh Veggies
made from 100% repurposed material from athletic facilities, aids the students in their sales process. Before I began this thesis journey,
Fresh Veggies is a community garden supported by high school athletes, with a focused goal on holistic well being, nurturing, and opening up career opportunities. The garden operates as a typical community garden, which are nonprofit organizations, however with a twist—the garden is primarily operated by student athletes.
My Thoughts on Sports
First, sports coaches and school administrators buy into the value of a system which promotes well being and nutrition for their student athletes. Second, students engage with the garden resources and activities. The garden offers additional classes, ranging from cooking to accounting to entrepreneurship. All the while, student athletes assist in tending and nurturing of the garden. Third, student athletes sell the food from the garden in outside communities. The profits from these proceeds help fund the athletics programs and relieve pressure on overall school funding. Lastly, the community reaps the benefits of growing food locally to fill their local markets with fresh produce. I envision a new distribution method for student athletes selling their products on the go. Imagine if high school basketball players were no longer selling M&Ms on the subway, but instead selling locally grown, fresh food. The traveling food trays,
I had begun feeling at odds with sports and the communities built around them. Football, in particular, started to phase out of my life for a number of reasons—it is exploitative, violent, harmful, and ultimately, I think sends the wrong message to our youth. As many others have said, it can be considered our modern day gladiator rink. Beyond football though, I have reflected a lot on sports and the cultures that build it up. I think because my childhood was driven by sports engagements (practices, games, fashion, media, etc.), it is impossible to decouple who I am today from sports culture. I particularly struggle in the tension felt in evaluating the good vs. the bad that comes with playing sports as a young adult. On one side, sports are fundamental and foundational character building activities— commitment, teamwork, sacrifice, practice, leadership. And on the other hand, sports can teach some attributes that I would not be so quick to pass along—domination, aggression, egotism, and in male sports cultures—homophobia, misogyny, physical conquest. This fine line is particularly concerning,
Sustainable
181
because for a young adult, the onus lies on the adults that steer and clarify the messages to be derived from participating in sports. In particular, this onus lies on coaches, whose goal may not be driven by developing their young athletes into responsible, healthy, moral adults.
who will send a new message to the sports community. His TED talk is an inspiration and beacon for the future of coaching.
Ultimately, I believe in sports as a vehicle for good. I think it can be harnessed and directed in a way that builds character, camaraderie, and lifelong skills for children. I hope coaches, parents, and teachers begin to more fully recognize the ugly side of sports and enact reform without losing all the benefits. I look to Joe Ehrmann, ex-NFL star and current coach, as a guiding star
Community gardens run by local athletes
“Indeed, sports may be the perfect venue in which to build character. But sports don’t build character unless a coach possesses character and intentionally teaches it. Sports can team with ethics and character and spirituality; virtuous coaching can integrate the body with the heart, the mind, and the soul.” - JOE EHRMANN
Design Offerings
VI. Design Offerings
SERVICE What if we could turn emotional expression into a daily habit?
Pledge of Emotions
the student acts out the emotion, the classroom of other students watch and try to identify the emotion—both the general emotional territory (via a color) and the specific emotion, by filling out a worksheet. Finally, Pledge of Emotions curates a diverse range of videos to accompany the emotion of the day to illustrate alternative ways of expressing the emotion.
A web service that structures a morning routine for teachers to perform with their students, where students act out and learn the range of emotions. To combat all the forces telling young boys to suppress their emotions, Pledge of Emotions flips the norm and turns emotional expression into a daily habit. Pledge of Emotions is like the pledge of allegiance, except for emotional expression and intelligence—a daily routine of four steps facilitated through the service. First, the service identifies the student and emotion of the day. Then the student acts out the assigned emotion for the day. As
The assessment cards by each student are then recorded into the Pledge of Emotion database weekly to track the progress of each student, both in their ability to act out emotions and correctly identify emotions. Most importantly, this process is un-biased, crowd-sourced from the class to remove any potential gender
Service
189
biases the teacher could bring into the assessment. Additionally, the service is identifying students and emotions to ensure that the student body balances out who acts out which emotions and can help counter against gender stereotypes. While this concept was well received, I did get feedback that this public forum of acting out an emotion could be limiting or stifling for certain students that may be shy or uncomfortable on stage. It would be unfair and incorrect to assess these students based on a public performance when in fact they might be developing their emotional intelligence just fine. In order to broaden the offerings of Pledge
of Emotions, I developed a tablet chat application for students to converse with a chatbot and further develop their emotional and social capacity. The chat conversation takes advantage of the front-facing camera for students to demonstrate emotions within the chat, similar to acting out, but in a more intimate method. Additionally, the chat would take advantage of predictive texting to limit the conversation and focus the learning.
“High emotional intelligence (EQ) is a stronger predictor of success. [compared to IQ]‌ In fact, high EQ bolsters the hard skills, helping us think more creatively.â€? - LAURA WILCOX, HARVARD CASE STUDY
“Implicit bias - stereotypes or unconscious association about people - on the part of teachers and staff may cause them to judge students’ behaviors differently based on the students’ race and sex.” - US GOVERNMENT ACCOUNTABILITY OFFICE
Good Morning Ms. Bartlett
Daily Spin: 2/20
GO!
Video Examples
1. Select
2. Act
3. Assess
4. Watch
Record Results
Record Responses
Submit
194
Service
Track Progress
Student Tracker
Service
195
VI. Design Offerings
EXPERIENCE What happens when dads and prospective dads bond over the challenges of fatherhood?
FamJam It all started with a question: what is the emotion you want to evoke in your audience? I landed on vulnerability. One of my main objectives with this thesis is to make men more comfortable sharing their emotions, so I wanted to create an experience that encourages this. Through a series of weekly assignments to conceptualize and build artifacts that would inform an experience event, I created FamJam— an event that allows prospective and current fathers to bond over the challenges of fatherhood and developing a relationship with their child. I believe that men are not
provided the appropriate emotional space to discuss the challenges and transformations associated with becoming a father, so I wanted to create it for them. Design Process 1. Emotion + Choreograph 2. The Postcard 3. Storyboard + Moodboard 4. Refine storyboard + Prop 5. Journey Map 6. Pull it all together 7. Prototype it 8. Production Plan 9. Execute
Step 1: Choreograph Vulnerability In choreographing the emotion of vulnerability, I believed one needs to pull out what is inside them to really access this emotion. You need to look at it, poke at it, wrestle with it, and get a better sense of what it this “thing� is to understand and open yourself to being vulnerable.
200
Experience
Experience
201
Step 2: 90’s Daddies For the postcard assignment, I took the postcard and made it more literally a prop for my experience (whereas the assignment was to use the postcard as a descriptor of the experience). The postcard in 90’s Daddies was a tool for participants to write a letter to their future child with prompts to declare the type of father they would like to become. This postcard and sentiment set the stage for the many iterations that followed. The 90’s Daddies aesthetic and
naming came from wanting to use nostalgia as a means to provoke prospective fathers to reflect on their childhood and then imagine the childhood they would like for their future children. After some tough love feedback from the class, I accepted that “90’s Daddies” might be too closely associated with the adult film industry and I should move on to a new name.
Step 3: Nostalgia Party Continuing with the desire to use nostalgia as a primary driver in my users, I storyboarded a concept that moved participants through 3 rooms to go from nostalgia reflection to celebration to future imagining. The moodboard here was particularly fun to create since it was mainly tapping into my childhood.
Step 4: DadSquad + Madlib I moved the concept away from nostalgia rooms and onto the basketball court, but continued the idea of a letter to your future child. Without much detail of the individual actions, I was imagining a clipboard form to be filled out through a series of stations that then populate a madlib letter to your future child. This letter would force a sentimental and emotional message to be recorded as a declaration of one’s future plans for fatherhood
206
Chapter Title
Experience
207
208
Experience
“So much of toxic masculinity is around un-learning. Because so many of the norms is introduced at such a young age, then we need to ask questions later in life.” - JONATHAN KALIN
Chapter Title
209
Step 5: “All Star Skills Challenge� Next, I began to imagine more closely the individual stations that participants would run through to produce the content that fills out the madlib. This was a very iterative process as I was thinking of the wide variety of activities, some associated with basketball, some not. In this process, I was also refining the content of questions and topics I wanted to encourage dads and prospective dads to be thinking about and discussing with each other.
210
Experience
Step 6: Midterm Checkpoint At this point, my concept was fairly established, but the connection between activity, content, and format needed significant refinement. I began discussions with a psychologist, Kristine McCormick (interviewee mentioned earlier), to further develop the questions I wanted to put in front of dads
and prospective dads for a group discussion. In developing the content more clearly, it allowed the skills challenge stations to take better form and match more closely.
Step 7: My Classmates Run Around I convinced a few classmates to try out the stations I was imagining at an outdoor basketball court to get a sense of pace, difficulty, and logistics. This step was very helpful in refining the stations and outlining the user journey in more detail.
Step 8: Plan it The last step was the execution phase. The most challenging element of FamJam for a few weeks was finding an indoor basketball court to rent out (that was not extraordinarily expensive). Luckily, Riverside Church was kind enough to accomodate my needs. I reached out to and spoke
with over 15 courts in the process, using a detailed request form of court requirements. Recruiting was also very difficult, since I was asking dads to leave their families on the weekend during what is precious, valuable time. I created a splash site invite page to aid in email recruiting.
Regarding: Indoor Basketball Gym Facility Rental
To whom it may concern: I am seeking to rent an indoor basketball gym facility for a skills challenge event. This event brings together fathers to strategize fatherhood facilitated through a fun, competitive basketball skills challenge. Each station of the basketball challenge (4 total) produces a result which feeds into a questionnaire for a group discussion afterwards in the locker room (or otherwise determined).
Why? - I believe men are often not given an appropriate emotional space to discuss and prepare for fatherhood. This event brings fathers together in solidarity to connect and support each other during this signiďŹ cant and challenging life transformation.
Duration: 6 hours
When: TBD based on availability: March 24 or 25 are preferred dates.
Attendees: - 6 ‘hosts’ to run the event (myself included) - 5 participants during a 1.5hr session within the event (3 sessions total)
- Over the course of the 6 hours, total of 25 people will be in/out Requests:
- Access to: locker room, basketballs, basketball racks - (optional) Use of PA announcer system to introduce participants
- Completely reserved, no other users at same time
Space Impact: - No impact to facilities expected
- Indicators on the court or obstacles added during skills challenge would be rubber and non-stick to leave court same as before
Thank you for reading through my request. I look forward to hearing back from you.
Andrew Schlesinger
561-866-8593
aschlesinger2@sva.edu
Step 9: Execute This was the build out phase of the project. To run FamJam, we needed to: 1. Design worksheets 2. Build the 4 stations 3. Buy props + equipment 4. Create jerseys and t-shirts 5. Write show script 6. Print court branding
FamJam Production Script Entrance: WILL CRUM (outside, at the door) Welcome!... Are you here for FamJam? Name tags? Checking people in with clipboard? Or more informal? Possible question from guests ya ya, so what is this all about? WILL Come on into the court, everyone is just getting together. We will start shortly. Feel free to shoot around on the hoop at the far end. In the gym, at start. 1. Music playing, SpaceJam soundtrack 2. Rack of balls by the hoop at the end for shooting around Meet me and Nick inside Hey, nice to meet you. How’s it going? Any questions? Feel free to grab a drink and shoot around while we wait for everyone to get here. Everyone has arrived. (Music is turned down. Direct everyone to sit at the benches.) ANDREW (at center of the court, looking at benches) Alright everyone, please gather around at the benches over here. Lets get started! Thank you all for being here! We are really excited to have you here for FamJam. As you have probably seen on the website or ad we are hoping to change the conversation around becoming a father and the challenges associated with it. And what better way then to start that off then with a bit of basketball and SpaceJam throwbacks. I do want to note that I am not a father, nor are any of my friends here who are helping out. But we believe that the conversation and dialogue around fatherhood should open up, especially between our male friends, and we‘d like to help create an environment for it and kick start this new direction. So today is low pressure, we are here to have fun and support each other.
Before we get started, I’d like to introduce everyone. My name is Andrew Schlesinger, this event is part of my master’s thesis work which has been focused on masculinity happy to talk more about it afterwards. This is Nick Tejeda, who will be acting as your coach during the skills challenge. This is Will Crum, my classmate in graduate school, who will be helping in our group convo after the skills challenge. And this is Louis and Teng our photographers and videographers for the day. So, a disclaimer reminder we will be filming the event for academic and personal purposes for my thesis work. Please do not hesitate to request footage removed or blurred, we are happy to accomodate. A brief overview we are going to have a skills challenge, on the basketball court here you can see setup, similar in style to the NBA All Stars Skills Challenge, which Nick will go into more detail. No need to worry though traditional skills on the basketball court do not translate to success in the course. After everyone goes through the course, we will gather together and have a group convo. Cool? Ok passing off to Nick now ENJOY! And thank you for being here! NICK (at center of the court, looking at benches) WELCOME!! To FamJam 2018. My name is Nick Tejeda, a friend of Andrew’s from our undergraduate days at the University of Michigan. I’ll be your coach during the skills challenge. First, it’s time to create the DadSquad!! (music picks up a little, main theme song) 1. And now, hailing from Boca Raton, Florida… currently residing in the chic SOHO, with baby girl Neve, a dad for 3 years, coming up on another one in April… introducing your center... SAAAAAM FUNT! Sam enter into center of the court, high five Nick. Jersey passed over to Sam. Stays at center of the court. 2. Making the trek all the way from Williamsburg, originally from Phoenix, Arizona. Your point guard, father of 2 with a 3rd on the way… Jason Soandso
Step 10: FamJam Goes Live FamJam was held on March 24, 2018 at Riverside Church, in 2 sessions. The dad session was held from 11:30AM to 1:00PM and the second session for propsective fathers was from 1:30PM to 3:00PM. For detailed documentation of the event, please take a look at the video at below link. https://vimeo.com/263280233
The video includes testimonial interviews from the event, where participants reflect on the group disucssion and event overall. Participants highlight how the event helped them articulate necessary questions about how they wanted to be a father and a role model in the future.
VI. Design Offerings
PRODUCT DESIGN Can we encourage dads to spend more time and bond with their newborn child?
232
Chapter Title
BabyGym How did I arrive at this question? We started off by writing two speculative futures—a dystopian and a utopian story based in the year 2075. Our stories were to evaluate and criticize what would happen if our thesis goals were taken to the extremes. Next, we moved forward with either the dystopia or utopia to develop a newspaper print that captured the social, political, economic, and cultural conditions of the time. Additionally, we created
an advertisement for a product in the story. In 2075, the product I proposed was the Babymaker, an external uterus that can be worn by either men or women to produce a child in vitro. Given the need to manage the population and steadily grow, this product was regulated by the government and required the support of men to wear it. My future state was one where men needed to be nurturing for the sake of humanity.
Product Design
233
Present Day
and away from our initial goal.
This newspaper scenario guided me as I returned to the present day and designed an object that would either move society closer to that future, or push society in the opposite direction. So, this became my goal for the present day—how can we ensure that dads will be nurturing in the nearterm so we don’t have to demand it in the future?
A particular drawing (highlighted below) genuinely interested observers. While I intended the sketch to be satire—the slogan “Never touch your baby again!” aligned with the male fear of intimacy. However, observers saw a dad exercising with his baby as the weight, which sparked the working title “Baby Gym.” I went on to iterate and conceptualize around the idea of harnessing a baby as the weight for formal exercises.
With this goal in mind, we dove into sketching concepts—both towards
236
Product Design
Product Design
237
238
Product Design
Further Sketching Continuing along the path of using your baby as the weight for exercise, I sketched more intentionally with this initiative, in both 2D and 3D. Using velcro, thin aluminum wire, and a mock baby carrier, I created a system for rapid form prototyping to try out different mechanisms and shapes.
Product Design
239
240
Product Design
Refine Concept After a wide range of sketching along a product concept, we narrowed in on form and function to bring the concept to a higher fidelty and present the product in situation. This phase included hands-on research, real-world sizing, and concept renders to bring the idea to life.
244
Product Design
Product Design
245
246
Chapter Title
Chapter Title
247
Final Model High fidelity renderings led us into the last phase of product development—final model production. With limitations in our workshop for metal working (and my lack of expertise), I could not make my model completely out of metal as proposed in the rendering.
248
Therefore, I combined EMT conduit with 3D-printed joints to create all the bends and connections to match the 3D model I rendered. Below is a series of process images to complete the final model—bending and cutting conduit, 3D printing joints, joining materials with adhesive, patching gaps, spray painting, and adding final touches.
Chapter Title
Chapter Title
249
250
Chapter Title
Chapter Title
251
252
Chapter Title
Chapter Title
253
254
Chapter Title
Chapter Title
255
Conclusion From the start, I have had, and continue to have, conflicting feelings about this product. While I see this object as critical (in fact, outrageous), it’s actually not too off-base. At the heart of the challenge in connecting fathers with their newborns is discomfort. Fathers prefer to stay in their world, while mothers create a new, separate space with the child. BabyGym is a reflection of this separation and attempts to bring the baby into a “dad’s world.” The gym space is certainly playing off a male stereotype, and the product, both in form and in brand, takes traditional masculinity to the extreme as a means to question it.
256
In the video of BabyGym, I create a parody based on infomercials to provoke and engage the audience to ask: Why would dads really need this product? Why can’t dads find time to be with their newborn? If a mom was using BabyGym, would the same connotations be applied? These are some of the questions I hope people ask as they consider the possible existence of BabyGym. https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=CdMi8ICSRYQ
Chapter Title
Chapter Title
257
258
Chapter Title
Chapter Title
259
Acknowledgements
VII. Acknowledgements
THANK YOU Thank you to everyone who has supported, guided, taught, and loved me along this remarkable and transformative journey.
Products of Design Staff Allan Chochinov, Marko Manriquez, Alisha Wessler, Krithi Rao, Nadia Delane
Products of Design Faculty Claire Hartten, Sinclair Scott Smith, Rachel Abrams, Brent Arnold, Emilie Baltz, Hannah Calhoon, Abby Covert, Bill Cromie, Steven Dean, Elizabeth Galbut, KT Gillett, Andrew Schloss, Rebecca Silver, John Thackara, Jennifer Rittner, Lawrence Abrahamson, Hlynur Atlason, Paola Antonelli, Kate Bakewell, Ayse Birsel, Matthew Borgatti, Michael Chung, Andrew Dent, Jennifer Dunnam, Lauren Mackler, Sigi Moeslinger, Toshi Mogi, Jason Severs, Becky Stern, Manuel Toscano, Richard Tyson, Masamichi Udagawa, Rob Walker, James Wynn
Class of 2018 Smruti Adya, Bernice Wong, Alexia Cohen, Will Crum, Lassor Feasley, Sebastian Harmsen, Jingting He, Sowmya Iyer, Louis Elwood-Leach, Juho Lee, Jiani Lin, Antriksh Nangia, Chris Rand, Manako Tamura, Kuan Xu, Teng Yu, Kevin Cook
Class of 2017 Karen Vellensky, Jenna Witzleben, Arjun Kalyanpur, Julia Lindpaintner, Andrea Cameron, Josh Corn, Doug Fertig, Alexa Forney, Dayoung Hong, Gahee Kang, Michael Kenney, Will Lentz, Xumeng Mou, Oscar Pipson, Ailun Sai
Class of 2019 Rhea Bhandari, Eugenia Ramos Alonso, Benjamin Bartlett, John Boran Jr., Zihan Chen, Evie Cheung, Gustav Ole Dyrhauge, Tzu Ching Lin, Micah Lynn, Sophie Carrillo Miranda, Phuong Anh Nguyen, AndrĂŠ Orta, Ellen Rose, Hannah Rudin, Carly Simmons, Oomung Varma, Antya Waegemann, Qixuan Wang, Runshi Wei Yangying Ye
VFL Staff Oya Kosebay, Tak Cheung, John Heida, Anne-Marie Lavigne, Maya Ragazzo, Bronwen Densmore
Family & Friends Wendy Schlesinger, Les Schlesinger, Josh Schlesinger, Jessica Rodriquez, Jeanne Rosner Coslet, David Morse, Julie Yasko, Diana Klein, Josh Funt, Sam Funt, Nick Tejeda, Noah Neary, Michael Gold, Sarah Weinberg, Alanna Olken, Sam Herzog
Thank You
263
VII. Acknowledgements
BIBLIOGRAPHY Works cited of books, journals, web articles, and films referenced throughout this thesis work.
“10 Clever Tricks to Trigger Positive Emotions.” SUCCESS. April 26, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// www.success.com/article/10-clever-tricks-to-triggerpositive-emotions. “10 Things to Teach Your Son about True Manhood.” All Pro Dad. January 22, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www.allprodad.com/10-things-to-teach-yourson-about-true-manhood/. Ted. “5 TED Talks on How Masculinity Is Evolving.” TED: Ideas worth Spreading. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.ted.com/playlists/404/how_masculinity_ is_evolving. “A Crisis in Masculinity among Young Boys Is Driving Them to Carry out School.” DeathRattleSports - Kênh Thể Thao Tổng Hợp. Accessed May 22, 2018. http:// deathrattlesports.com/a-crisis-in-masculinity-amongyoung-boys-is-driving-them-to-carry-out-schoolshootings-study-finds/119838. “A New Film-rating System Considers Depictions of Gender Roles.” The Economist. August 02, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.economist.com/blogs/ prospero/2017/08/goodbye-mars-and-venus. “About NYRP.” NYRP. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// www.nyrp.org/about. Adichie, Amanda N. We Should All Be Feminists. London: Fourth Estate, 2017. Airaksinen, Toni. “College’s ‘deconstruct Masculinity’ Program Doubles in Size.” Campus Reform. October 27, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.campusreform. org/?ID=10051.
Bibliography
265
“Alt-right News Sites Are Furious at This Gay Man’s College Course on Toxic Masculinity.” Gay Star News. January 27, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/alt-rightnews-sites-furious-gay-mans-college-course-toxicmasculinity/#gs.TQkxMQk. Person. “Anti-Vegetarianism Is Sexism in Disguise.” Harper’s BAZAAR. January 04, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/politics/ a14539150/anti-vegetarianism-sexism/. Appiah, Kwame Anthony. Cosmopolitism: Etica Într-o Lume a Străinilor. Bucureşti: Andreco Educational, 2007. Asma, Stephen T. “Humiliation and Rage: How Toxic Masculinity Fuels Mass Shootings – Stephen T Asma | Aeon Essays.” Aeon. May 22, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://aeon.co/essays/humiliation-and-rage-howtoxic-masculinity-fuels-mass-shootings. Axelrod, Robert. The Evolution of Cooperation. New York: BasicBooks, 2006. “Baby Barbells: The Dad’s Guide to Fitness and Fathering: Joshua Levitt: 9780762440559: Amazon.com: Books.” Amazon. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www. amazon.com/Baby-Barbells-Guide-Fitness-Fathering/ dp/0762440554. Baer, Drake. “How Changing Views on Masculinity Are Helping Drive Gun Ownership.” Thrive Global. October 06, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.thriveglobal. com/stories/14636-masculinity-gun-ownership-america. Baldwin, James E.., Steve Schapiro, John Robert Lewis, and John Karefa-Smart. The Fire next Time.
266
Bibliography
Baquet, Dean. “Jay-Z Discusses Rap, Marriage and Being a Black Man in Trump’s America.” The New York Times. November 29, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// www.nytimes.com/interactive/2017/11/29/t-magazine/ jay-z-dean-baquet-interview.html?_r=1. Barry, Ellen. “In Sweden’s Preschools, Boys Learn to Dance and Girls Learn to Yell.” The New York Times. March 24, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www. nytimes.com/2018/03/24/world/europe/sweden-genderneutral-preschools.html. Beaulaurier, Alaina. “Toxic Masculinity Keeps Veterans from Reaching out.” The Daily Evergreen. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://dailyevergreen.com/25686/opinion/ toxic-masculinity-keep-veterans-from-reaching-out/. Bell, Laura. “Guys Tell Us About Their Struggles with Toxic Masculinity.” Vice. March 20, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.vice.com/en_us/article/gympmx/ guys-tell-us-about-their-struggles-with-toxicmasculinity. Bentgen, Nick. “Jay-Z and Dean Baquet, in Conversation.” The New York Times. November 29, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.nytimes.com/video/ t-magazine/100000005574909/jayz-interview.html. Black, Michael Ian. “The Boys Are Not All Right.” The New York Times. February 21, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/21/opinion/ boys-violence-shootings-guns.html. Blackmore, Penelope. “Only Queer Eye Could Make Deconstructing Toxic Masculinity so Much Fun | Penelope Blackmore.” The Guardian. February 14, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.theguardian.com/ commentisfree/2018/feb/15/only-queer-eye-couldmake-deconstructing-toxic-masculinity-so-much-fun.
Bibliography
267
Culture. “Blaming ‘Toxic Masculinity’ For Mass Shootings Is A Form Of Bigotry.” The Federalist. January 25, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://thefederalist. com/2018/01/23/blaming-toxic-masculinity-massshootings-form-bigotry/. Bradberry, Travis. “Why You Need Emotional Intelligence to Succeed.” Inc.com. March 12, 2015. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.inc.com/travisbradberry/why-you-need-emotional-intelligence-tosucceed.html. Brandt, Cindy, and Cindy BrandtCindy Brandt. “Challenge the Way We Parent, Challenge Patriarchy -.” The Good Men Project. December 03, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://goodmenproject.com/uncategorized/ challenge-way-parent-challenge-patriarchy-phtz/. “Broadening the Conversation: Gun Violence, Masculinity and Being Vulnerable.” Oren Jay Sofer. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www.orenjaysofer. com/blog/2018/broadening-the-conversation?utm_ source=Oren J. Sofer&utm_campaign=fa7869fa48EMAIL_CAMPAIGN_2018_03_03&utm_ medium=email&utm_term=0_2711cf4bbefa7869fa48-252133801. Broadway, Anna. “The New Sex Education Focuses on Preventing Violence.” The Atlantic. April 14, 2014. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.theatlantic.com/ health/archive/2014/04/the-new-sex-educationfocuses-on-preventing-violence/360294/. Burns, Janet. “Men’s Project Aims To Make Masculinity An Ongoing, Open Conversation.” Forbes. November 21, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.forbes. com/sites/janetwburns/2017/11/16/university-mensproject-aims-to-make-masculinity-an-ongoing-openconversation/#ec1ccb5884e9.
268
Bibliography
Butler, Judith. Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity. New York: Routledge, 1990. Campbell, Alexia Fernández. “The Real Reason Women Are Underrepresented in Silicon Valley Engineering Jobs.” Vox. August 10, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// www.vox.com/new-money/2017/8/10/16118394/googleengineer-memo-stem. Caporimo, Alison. “These Dads Working Out With Their Babies Prove That Fitness Is Forever.” BuzzFeed. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.buzzfeed.com/alisoncaporimo/ no-dad-bods-here?utm_term=.dvN61rpPNB#. qqmmDPW9Zl. Caprino, Kathy. “How Women In Leadership Are Doing Power Differently, And Why They Must.” Forbes. December 15, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www. forbes.com/sites/kathycaprino/2017/12/15/how-womenin-leadership-are-doing-power-differently-and-whythey-must/2/#5af81beb30c1. Coates, Ta-Nehisi, and Klaus Amann. Between the World and Me. Ditzingen: Reclam, 2017. Cohen, Troy, and Troy CohenTroy Cohen. “The Greatest Threat to Patriarchy: Men Getting in Touch with Their Feelings -.” The Good Men Project. April 14, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://goodmenproject.com/ featured-content/greatest-threat-patriarchy-mengetting-touch-with-feelings-pgtn/. Dreger, Alice. “Is Anatomy Destiny?” TED: Ideas worth Spreading. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.ted.com/ talks/alice_dreger_is_anatomy_destiny?language=en. Driscoll, Sarah. “28 Rules For Fathers Of Sons.” The Huffington Post. January 25, 2014. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/sarah-driscoll/28rules-for-fathers-of-sons_b_4318790.html.
Bibliography
269
Druck, Ken, and Ken Druck PhDKen Druck. “’Manning Up’ in 2017 -.” The Good Men Project. November 15, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://goodmenproject.com/ ethics-values/manning-up-in-2017-dg/. Earl, Jennifer. “John Legend Encourages Teens to Overcome Stereotypes.” CBS News. October 18, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.cbsnews.com/news/ john-legend-teaches-ohio-high-schoolers-importantlesson-about-masculinity/. Editors, The, and About the EditorsWe’re All in This Together. “The Healthy Sex Talk: Teaching Kids Consent, Ages 1-21 -.” The Good Men Project. April 30, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://goodmenproject.com/ families/the-healthy-sex-talk-teaching-kids-consentages-1-21/. Eliot, Lise. Pink Brain, Blue Brain: How Small Differences Grow into Troublesome Gaps - and What We Can Do about It. Boston: Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, 2009. Forbes. “Emotional Intelligence Is No Soft Skill | Harvard Professional Development | Harvard DCE.” Harvard Extension School. October 19, 2016. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.extension.harvard.edu/ professional-development/blog/emotional-intelligenceno-soft-skill. “Father Son Activities - 40 Surefire Ways to Bond With Your Son.” Next Luxury. June 24, 2015. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://nextluxury.com/mens-lifestyle-advice/40father-son-activities-to-bond-with-son/. Fawwaz, Ryan. “Mindful Mondays: Toxic Masculinity Is Hurting Generations of Young Men.” Daily Trojan. March 26, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// dailytrojan.com/2018/03/25/mindful-mondays-toxicmasculinity-is-hurting-generations-of-young-men/.
270
Bibliography
Fine, Cordelia. Testosterone Rex: Unmaking the Myths of Our Gendered Minds. London: Icon, 2018. Flanagan, Linda. “The Field Where Men Still Call the Shots.” The Atlantic. July 28, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2017/07/ the-field-where-men-still-call-the-shots/535167/. Freire, Paulo, Myra Bergman Ramos, Donaldo P. Macedo, and Ira Shor. Pedagogy of the Oppressed. New York: Bloomsbury Academic, 2018. Friedman, Jaclyn. “Building Better Men: How We Can Begin to Redefine Masculinity.” The Guardian. March 12, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.theguardian. com/world/2018/mar/12/masculinity-gender-mensexual-assault-rape. G., Jeff. “Men’s Community for the 21st Century.” ManKind Project. Accessed May 22, 2018. http:// mankindproject.org/. Gilpin, Caroline Crosson, and Natalie Proulx. “Boys to Men: Teaching and Learning About Masculinity in an Age of Change.” The New York Times. April 12, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/12/ learning/lesson-plans/boys-to-men-teaching-andlearning-about-masculinity-in-an-age-of-change.html. Hernandez, Ciel. “Lomography - A Question of Latino Manliness: An Interview with Antonio Pulgarin.” Today in History (1957): Dr. Seuss’ ‘The Cat in the Hat’ · Lomography. March 07, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.lomography.com/magazine/335958-aquestion-of-latino-manliness-an-interview-withantonio-pulgarin. “High School Gardens.” City Farmer:Rain Barrels. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www.cityfarmer.org/ highschool77.html.
Bibliography
271
Hip-Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes. Directed by Byron Hurt. Hip-Hop: Beyond Beats and Rhymes. 2006. http:// www.pbs.org/independentlens/hiphop/film.htm. Hollis, Laura, Department of Accountancy, Mendoza College of Business, Notre Dame Law School, and University of Notre Dame. “The War on Men - and Masculinity.” WND. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www. wnd.com/2017/11/the-war-on-men-and-masculinity/. “Home.” City Blossoms. Accessed May 22, 2018. http:// cityblossoms.org/. Hooks, Bell. The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love. New York: Atria Books, 2004. Hooks, Bell. All about Love: New Visions. New York: William Morrow, an Imprint of HarperCollins Publishers, 2018. “How Impact Investors Actually Measure Impact (SSIR).” Stanford Social Innovation Review: Informing and Inspiring Leaders of Social Change. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://ssir.org/articles/entry/how_impact_investors_ actually_measure_impact. “How to Be a Good Father in Modern Times.” Masculine By Design. October 28, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://masculinebydesign.com/how-to-be-agood-father-in-modern-times-neil-white/. “How to Raise a Feminist Son.” The New York Times. December 22, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://mobile. nytimes.com/2017/06/02/upshot/how-to-raise-afeminist-son.html?referer=http://m.facebook.com.
272
Bibliography
“How We All Together Can Build a Future Free from Sexual Harassment.” San Francisco Chronicle. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www.sfchronicle.com/opinion/ openforum/article/How-we-all-together-can-build-afuture-from-12414346.php. “Http://ljournal.ru/wp-content/ uploads/2016/08/d-2016-154.pdf.” Yale Center Emotions Matter, 2016. doi:10.18411/d-2016-154. HuffPost, On Assignment For. “It’s Time For Drag Kings To Detoxify Masculinity On TV.” The Huffington Post. April 19, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/drag-kings-detoxifymasculinity_us_5ad8a00ce4b029ebe021a4c3. Commentary. “I Fell for the Dangerous Myth That Men Are Aggressive by Nature.” Quartz. November 10, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://qz.com/1124602/scienceproves-theres-nothing-natural-about-male-aggressiontoward-women/. Commentary. “I Jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge and Survived. One Sentence Could Have Stopped Me.” Quartz. January 19, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// qz.com/1184514/i-jumped-off-the-golden-gate-bridgeand-survived-one-sentence-could-have-stopped-me/. Anonymous. “”I Thought I Was One of the Good Guys. Then I Read the Aziz Ansari Story.”” Vox. January 24, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.vox.com/ first-person/2018/1/24/16925444/aziz-ansari-me-toofeminism-consent. Images, H. Armstrong Roberts/ClassicStock/Getty. “The Men Taking Classes to Unlearn Toxic Masculinity.” The Cut. October 23, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// www.thecut.com/2017/10/the-men-taking-classes-tounlearn-toxic-masculinity.html.
Bibliography
273
“Is Built into the Architecture of Their Brains: Working Paper No. 2.” National Scientific Council on the Developing Child (2004). Children’s Emotional Development. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www.developingchild.net. 10159945446500082. “In Praise of Tender Masculinity, the New Non-Toxic Way to Be a Man.” Electric Literature. March 14, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// electricliterature.com/in-praise-of-tender-masculinitythe-new-non-toxic-way-to-be-a-man-7bb4f0159998. J, David. “The Growing Importance of Social Skills in the Labor Market.” NBER. Accessed May 22, 2018. http:// www.nber.org/papers/w21473. Jarema, Kerri. “What You Need To Know About Toxic Masculinity, Explained In 11 Books.” Bustle. April 25, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.bustle.com/ p/11-books-about-toxic-masculinity-gender-normsfeminism-written-by-men-77204. Katz, Jackson. The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and and How All Men Can Help. Naperville, IL: Sourcebooks, 2006. Keller, Jared. “Is Toxic Masculinity Really on Its Way Out?” Pacific Standard. January 10, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://psmag.com/social-justice/toxicmasculinity-on-its-way-out. Kristof, Nicholas D., and Sheryl WuDunn. Half the Sky: Turning Oppression into Opportunity for Women Worldwide. New York: Alfred A. Knopf, 2014. Leitch, Will. “What Should I Teach My Sons?” The Cut. March 05, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// www.thecut.com/2018/03/will-leitch-on-raising-sonsin-2018.html.
274
Bibliography
Leygerman, Dina. “9 Things Parents Do Every Day That Perpetuate Toxic Masculinity.” Romper. April 25, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.romper.com/ p/9-things-parents-do-every-day-that-perpetuatetoxic-masculinity-2807431. Love, Kevin. “Everyone Is Going Through Something | By Kevin Love.” The Players’ Tribune. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.theplayerstribune.com/kevin-loveeveryone-is-going-through-something/. Macdonald, Brad, Joel Hilliker, Stephen FlurryE-mail, Stephen Flurry, Jeremiah Jacques, Jeremiah JacquesEmail, and Richard Palmer. “This World Needs More Masculinity, Not Less.” TheTrumpet.com. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.thetrumpet.com/16482-thisworld-needs-more-masculinity-not-less. Marikar, Sheila. “How to Raise a Boy.” The New Yorker. April 17, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/03/26/how-toraise-a-boy. “Masculinity Isn’t the Problem. Power Is.” Fox News. October 26, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www. foxnews.com/opinion/2017/10/26/masculinity-isntproblem-power-is.html. May, Cindi. “Are Women More Emotionally Expressive Than Men?” Scientific American. August 30, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.scientificamerican. com/article/are-women-more-emotionallyexpressive-than-men/. McWeeney, Claire. “Let’s Talk about the Word “lady” – Clued In – Medium.” Medium. September 07, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://medium.com/clued-in/ lets-talk-about-the-word-lady-68f11dca54bd.
Bibliography
275
“Men Avoid Eco-friendly Behavior to Feel More ‘manly,’ Study Finds.” $79,000. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.ksl.com/?sid=46250744&nid=148. “Men’s Wellness Startup Brands Masculinity With More Nuance.” PSFK. November 07, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.psfk.com/2017/11/mens-wellnessstartup-brands-masculinity-nuance.html. “Millennial Dads Challenge Traditional Gender Roles.” DMN. July 22, 2015. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www. dmnews.com/marketing-strategy/millennial-dadschallenge-traditional-gender-roles/article/427931/. Miller, Claire Cain. “Things Boys Could Learn at Girl Scouts.” The New York Times. October 13, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.nytimes.com/ interactive/2017/10/13/upshot/boy-scouts-learn-girlscouts.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&cl ickSource=story-heading&module=second-columnregion®ion=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=1. Monaghan, Peter. “The Fight Against ‘Toxic Masculinity’.” Chronicle.com. December 10, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.chronicle.com/article/TheFight-Against-Toxic/242017. “New Dad: Tips to Help Manage Stress.” Mayo Clinic. February 17, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www. mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/infant-and-toddlerhealth/in-depth/new-dad/art-20045880?pg=2. “New Gillette Campaign Explores the Complexity of Modern Masculinity.” Attitude.co.uk | Ten Years On, Why Queer As Folk USA Was Essential Viewing. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://attitude.co.uk/new-gillette-campaignexplores-the-complexity-of-modern-masculinity/.
276
Bibliography
Nosek, Brian. “Replication Data For: Nosek and Smyth (2011): Implicit Social Cognitions Predict Math Engagement and Achievement.” Harvard Dataverse. January 31, 2011. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://dataverse. harvard.edu/dataset.xhtml?persistentId=hdl:1902.1/15534. Ortner, Sherry B. “Is Female to Male as Nature Is to Culture?” Feminist Studies1, no. 2 (1972): 5. doi:10.2307/3177638. Partridge, Anna. “How to Build Emotional Intelligence in Your Child.” The Huffington Post. December 07, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.huffingtonpost.com/ anna-partridge/how-to-build-emotional-intelligencein-your-child_b_7578640.html. Peels, Too Rainbow Paint. “Children Have Terrible Sex (Or How I Stopped Assaulting My Friends and Learned To Love Consent).” Be Yourself. September 10, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://byrslf.co/children-have-terriblesex-or-how-i-stopped-assaulting-my-friends-andlearned-to-love-consent-2ed0743d28e3. Perry, Grayson. The Descent of Man. New York: Penguin Books, 2017. Plank, Liz. “Most Perpetrators of Sexual Violence Are Men, so Why Do We Call It a Women’s Issue?” Divided States of Women. November 02, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.dividedstatesofwomen. com/2017/11/2/16597768/sexual-assaultmen-himthough. Prasad, Aarathi. “How Artificial Wombs Will Change Our Ideas of Gender, Family and Equality | Aarathi Prasad.” The Guardian. May 01, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2017/ may/01/artificial-womb-gender-family-equality-lamb.
Bibliography
277
“Program P – A Manual for Engaging Men in Fatherhood, Caregiving, Maternal and Child Health” Promundo, CulturaSalud, and REDMAS (2013). Promundo: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil and Washington, D.C. USA. Putnam, Robert D. Our Kids: The American Dream in Crisis. New York: Simon & Schuster Paperbacks, 2016. Reichert, Michael C. “Aziz Ansari, Donald Trump, Quentin Tarantino: Are These Men Guilty of ‘toxic Masculinity’?” Yahoo! News. February 07, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://sg.news.yahoo.com/aziz-ansaridonald-trump-quentin-tarantino-men-guilty-toxicmasculinity-190940061.html. Reiner, Andrew. “Talking to Boys the Way We Talk to Girls.” The New York Times. June 15, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.nytimes.com/2017/06/15/well/ family/talking-to-boys-the-way-we-talk-to-girls.html. Admin-cgd. “Research.” NurturingFathers.com. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://nurturingfathers.com/ research-validation/. Robinson, Nathan J. “The Intellectual We Deserve.” Current Affairs. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www. currentaffairs.org/2018/03/the-intellectual-we-deserve. Roy, Arundhati. Capitalism: A Ghost Story. London, England: Verso Books, 2015. Schroeder, Jules. “7 Reasons Why Millennial Men Are Reinventing Masculinity.” Forbes. October 13, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.forbes.com/ sites/julesschroeder/2017/10/12/the-evolved-man7-reasons-why-millennial-men-are-reinventingmasculinity/#38c041ea597c.
278
Bibliography
“Sex-ed Programs Shouldn’t Be Informed by Left or Right Ideology.” The Globe and Mail. October 30, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://beta.theglobeandmail.com/ opinion/sex-ed-programs-shouldnt-be-informed-byleft-or-right-ideology/article36761148/?ref=http://www. theglobeandmail.com&. “Sexual Ethics, Masculinity and Mutual Vulnerability.” Taylor & Francis. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www. tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/08164649.2014.967741?j ournalCode=cafs20&. Singh, Rama Shankar. “Patriarchal Culture Male Biology = Deadly Mix for Violence against Women.” The Conversation. May 17, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. http:// theconversation.com/patriarchal-culture-male-biologydeadly-mix-for-violence-against-women-88005. Sklar, Rachel. “Why Are Female Shooters So Rare?” Glamour. April 06, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// www.glamour.com/story/female-shooters-are-rarebecause-gun-violence-has-a-masculinity-problem. Smith, Mychal Denzel. Invisible Man, Got the Whole World Watching: A Young Black Mans Education. New York: Nation Books, an Imprint of Perseus Books, LLC, a Subsidiary of Hachette Book Group, 2017. Stevenson, Bryan. Just Mercy: Adapted for Young People: A True Story of the Fight for Justice. New York: Delacorte Press, 2018. Stokes, Rebecca Jane. “It Doesn’t Matter What We Do With Guns Until We Help Our Boys And Men.” YourTango. February 23, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www. yourtango.com/2018311070/gun-control-doesnt-matteruntil-we-fix-toxic-masculinity-for-boys-men.
Bibliography
279
Stonehouse, Julia, and Julia StonehouseJulia Stonehouse. “The Logic Behind Patriarchy -.” The Good Men Project. October 13, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/logicbehind-patriarchy-lbkr/. Strauss, Elissa. “Why Girls Can Be Boyish but Boys Can’t Be Girlish.” CNN. April 12, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://edition.cnn.com/2018/04/12/health/boysgirls-gender-norms-parenting-strauss/index.html?nost=1523998170. Thayer, Kate. “Teen Program Combats Violence by Challenging Macho Stereotypes.” Chicagotribune.com. December 10, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www. chicagotribune.com/news/local/breaking/ct-met-teenboys-manhood-program-20171113-story.html. “The Downsides (and Upsides?) of Aggressive Masculinity.” The New York Times. February 28, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www. nytimes.com/2018/02/28/opinion/aggressivemasculinity-boys.html. “The Female Price of Male Pleasure.” The Week - All You Need to Know about Everything That Matters. January 25, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://theweek.com/ articles/749978/female-price-male-pleasure. The Mask You Live In. Directed by Jennifer Siebel Newsom. The Mask You Live In. 2015. http:// therepresentationproject.org/film/the-maskyou-live-in/. “The Men’s Mental Health Crisis - And Why It Matters.” Thisdaddoes.com. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://thisdaddoes.com/mens-mental-health-crisissuicide-epidemic-2017/. The Red Pill. Directed by Cassie Jaye. Performed by Cassie Jaye. The Red Pill. http://theredpillmovie.com/.
280
Bibliography
“The Research.” The Fatherhood Project. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www.thefatherhoodproject.org/schools/ the-research/#tab-menu. “The Right Way to Be Introspective (yes, There’s a Wrong Way).” Ideas.ted.com. June 02, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://ideas.ted.com/the-right-way-to-beintrospective-yes-theres-a-wrong-way/. “The Stigma of Masculinity.” Psychology Today. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.psychologytoday. com/us/blog/my-brothers-keeper/201410/the-stigmamasculinity. The Work. Directed by Jairus McLeary and Gethin Aldous. The Work. 2017. https://theworkmovie.com/. “These Men Are Tackling ‘toxic Masculinity’ from behind Bars - CNN Video.” CNN. April 20, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.cnn.com/ videos/us/2018/04/20/the-feminist-on-cellblock-ydigital-short.cnn. “To Combat Hypermasculinity, We Need to Change the Way We Speak.” Study Breaks. April 05, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://studybreaks.com/2017/04/05/ hypermasculinity/. Tough Guise: Violence, Media & the Crisis in Masculinity. Directed by Sut Jhally. Performed by Jackson Katz. 1999. “Trigger: Gender as a Tool and a Weapon.” Trigger: Gender as a Tool and a Weapon :: New Museum. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www.newmuseum.org/exhibitions/ view/trigger-gender-as-a-tool-and-as-a-weapon.
Bibliography
281
“Unconscious Bias in Teaching.” Unconscious Bias in Teaching. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://mit-teachingsystems-lab.github.io/unconscious-bias/. “Urban Farming Foods: Six Easy Foods You Can Grow In An Urban Area.” The Prepping Guide. March 23, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://thepreppingguide.com/ urban-farming/. “US Preschoolers’ Trust of and Learning from Media Characters.” Taylor & Francis. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/17482798.2 016.1162184. “USC Researcher, and AI, Give Homeless Youth a Helping Hand with HIV Education.” USC News. July 14, 2017. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://news.usc.edu/124831/ usc-researcher-and-ai-give-homeless-youth-ahelping-hand-with-hiv-education/. “Using Technology to Address Gender Bias in Film | Google.” Google Search. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.google.com/intl/en/about/main/genderequality-films/. “Using Touch.” Changingminds.org. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://changingminds.org/techniques/body/ touching.htm. Vagianos, Alanna. “How Gun Violence And Toxic Masculinity Are Linked, In 8 Tweets.” The Huffington Post. February 21, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gun-violence-toxicmasculinity-tweets_us_5a85ead4e4b05c2bcac8ec08. Varadarajan, Tunku. “Manhood in the Age of Trump.” The Wall Street Journal. March 30, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.wsj.com/articles/manhood-in-theage-of-trump-1522443770.
282
Bibliography
Wardlow, Ciara. “’Black Panther’: How T’Challa Avoids Toxic Masculinity.” The Hollywood Reporter. February 19, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www. hollywoodreporter.com/heat-vision/black-panther-howtchalla-avoids-toxic-masculinity-1085741. “We Need to Rethink Masculinity.” Varsity Online. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.varsity.co.uk/ features/14733. “What Is DaddyFit?” DaddyFit Book - Workout for Young Daddys. Accessed May 22, 2018. http://www.papafit.com/daddyfit. “What’s Available.” Union Square Greenmarket Monday | GrowNYC. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www. grownyc.org/greenmarket/whatsavailable. MHNMedia. “What’s Happening With Boys? Part 1. - Michael Gurian - Congressional Briefing.” YouTube. November 12, 2015. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www. youtube.com/watch?v=8tsfO01hFQc. “What’s Wrong with Today’s Masculinity?” The Daily Iowan. March 01, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. http:// daily-iowan.com/2018/03/01/whats-wrong-with-todaysmasculinity/. White, Miles. From Jim Crow to Jay-Z: Race, Rap, and the Performance of Masculinity in American Popular Culture. Urbana: University of Illinois Press, 2011. Winton, Tim. “About the Boys: Tim Winton on How Toxic Masculinity Is Shackling Men to Misogyny.” The Guardian. April 09, 2018. Accessed May 22, 2018. https:// www.theguardian.com/books/2018/apr/09/about-theboys-tim-winton-on-how-toxic-masculinity-isshackling-men-to-misogyny.
Bibliography
283
Wolf, Elizabeth Baily, Amy J. C. Cuddy, Susan Crotty, and Michael I. Norton. “Men as Cultural Ideals: How Culture Shapes Gender Stereotypes.” PsycEXTRA Dataset, 2014. doi:10.1037/e512142015-945. “| Common Sense Media.” Common Sense Media: Ratings, Reviews, and Advice. Accessed May 22, 2018. https://www.commonsensemedia.org/.
284
Bibliography
MEN Challenging adults to raise feminine boys
BY: ANDREW SCHLESINGER