Stinkin Thinkin Posted by Into Action Treatment on November 30, 2015 in Articles, We Do Recover How your Ego Sabotages Your Recovery
Ego is a Latin word that literally translates to ‘self’ but when we are talking about your ego in terms of recovery, we mean your self-image. Ego’s tend to be fragile and even someone with a seemingly huge sense of self-importance can find theirs bruised and depleted.
A person with a healthy ego has a realistic sense of self but doesn’t take themselves too seriously. When your ego becomes inflated or deflated, it affects the way you see yourself and the way you think, making it easy to fall prey to the many traps we lay for ourselves to sabotage our recovery.
When you first realize that you have a problem, it’s easy to fall into an egocentric mind frame and deny that it’s even a problem. The spiral of stinkin-thinkin continues with the conclusion that “I’m not like the others.” Which can mean that either you alone can resist addiction or that everyone else is weakwilled and you don’t need help in recovery.
Even when you seek help, and admit yourself into a recovery center, you may be faced with that damning ego again with the stinkin-thinkin of “Now that I’m detoxed, I can handle doing more… this time.” Or you might find yourself considering lying and sneaking a fix. Because again, you’re different from the other addicts. You need it more or suffer from it less.
It’s important to realize that this damaging egocentrism is deeply rooted in fear and insecurities. It’s
even more important to realize that you are not really alone in this. Stinkin-thinkin is a common trap that the recovering addict lays for him or herself.
A big function of an unhealthy ego is manifested as shame. Shame is one of the most damaging emotional conflicts we can faced and when it rears its ugly head during recovery, it can facilitate a backslide before you even recognize it for what it is. It’s important to get ahead of the shame game and be prepared to work through some painful revelations. [Brown] The twelve steps to recovery deal directly with this egocentric mindset and many of the steps are there as specific tools to help you deal with them.
It’s important not to mistake a healthy respect for yourself as being egocentric. It’s good to believe in yourself and to feel encouraged when you make progress in your recovery. Self-efficacy is the belief in your own capabilities- like the ability to follow the twelve steps and abstain from using. It is one of the traits consistently shared by people who are successful in their recovery [Miller] and when you cultivate a believe in yourself along with a willingness to accept help from others, you have one of the most important recovery tools you will ever need.
References:
http://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1300/J020V08N03_07
https://books.google.com/books? hl=en&lr=&id=c_F0_Wg6Wv0C&oi=fnd&pg=PP1&dq=ego+sabotage+recovery&ots=4LNzDnGOXh &sig=HzUp0-Y0_CJ8h5HoOLTxF9v8tq8#v=onepage&q&f=false
http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/074054729190051B
http://recoverydays.com/?p=451
http://www.melanietoniaevans.com/articles/ego.htm
http://www.thecabinchiangmai.com/blog/15-ways-you-might-be-sabotaging-your-own-addictionrecovery#.VlCXEvmrTIU
http://blogs.psychcentral.com/addiction-recovery/2013/01/signs-of-self-sabotage-in-recovery/
http://www.spiritualriver.com/addiction-treatment/sabotaging-recovery/