August 2016

JESUS.

MUSIC.

FASHION.

ANGELIC AUGUST 2016

ANGELICAUGUST 2ù16

JESUS. MUSIC. FASHION.

OUR STORY MAGAZINE IS A MONTHLY PRINT AND DIGITAL PUBLICATION THAT BLENDS MUSIC, FASHION AND THE REAL STORIES OF PEOPLE SEEKING TO LIVE FOR JESUS. WE BEGAN IN SEPTEMBER OF 2013 FEATURING CONTENT SOLEY FROM THE SOUTHWEST OF THE UNITED STATES AND SINCE OUR BEGINNING, WE'VE SPREAD TO NOW FEATURE EDITORIAL CONTENT FROM THE PACIFIC TO THE ATLANTIC, AND BEYOND. WE HAVE READERS ABROAD COMING FROM PARTS OF EUROPE, SOUTH AMERICA, ASIA AND AUSTRALIA. ANGELIC HAS A MAGAZINE NAME BUT WE ARE A MINISTRY FOCUSED ON FEARLESSLY PROCLAIMING JESUS. WE SPOTLIGHT MUSICIANS AND BANDS WHO HEARTS STRIVE TO BEAT WITH HIS. WE FEATURE FASHION PHOTO-SHOOTS WITH PHOTOGRAPHER'S, STYLISTS AND MODELS WHO DESIRE TO PROFRESS THEIR FAITH IN HIM. OUR ARTICLES ARE GUIDED BY THE BIBLE. WE HIGHLIGHT ORGANIZATIONS AND MINISTRIES WHO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH. THE TESTIMONIES WRITTEN ARE FILLED WITH WORDS OF REDEMPTION AND GRACE. WE DESIRE TO STEP INTO THE WORLD AND BRING THE WORLD BACK TO JESUS. WE ARE NOT A RELIGIOUS MAGAZINE. WE STAND FOR JESUS.

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THIS ISSUE FEATURES A LOOK BACK IN TIME AT OUR FIRST 3 YEARS AS A PUBLICATION. JESUS. MUSIC. FASHION.

EDITOR LETTER T

THR E E YE A R S A G O

his issue isn't our anniversary issue, that issue comes next month as we celebrate three years as a magazine. But this issue has a special significance.

It was three years ago at this time, August 2013, that the praying and foundation was being set for what was to come for the future ofAngelic.

We had no Instagram following three years ago at this time and we had no real direction for what we hoped to accomplish. We had a dream and we had Jesus.

This August 2016 issue marks the end of our third full year as a publication. Before the debut September 2013 issue of the magazine was released I read a statistic that 6 out of 10 magazines fail within their first year and 9 out of 10 fail within three years.

We have not failed.

Thank you Jesus for always walking with us.

--

Jesse Anaya

P H O T O G R A P H Y

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M O D E L L O C A T I O N

G A B R I E L L A

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H E I D I S A N

G O N Z A L E Z

J O

D I E G O

,

C A

GABRIELLA GONZALEZ PHOTOGRAPHER // SAN DIEGO, CA "“DON’T JUST ACT LIKE A CHRISTIAN. ACT LIKE CHRIST”"

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ANGELICTESTIMONY

rowing up in a Christian home, going to a Christian school, attending a Christian church, and being surrounded by Christian families and friends, I honestly couldn’t tell you the day I became a believer.

I don’t remember a time when I didn’t love Jesus as my Lord and Savior.

I had accepted that I was a daughter of the King and that He was going to love me for all eternity all before the age of 4 or 5. I have been blessed to grow up the way I have, to be surrounded by a community of believers, but so often I found myself getting caught up in what it looked like to “act like a Christian” instead of what it meant to “act like Christ” I was so confused as to why the people around me spoke one way and acted another. I was so torn when those around me seemed more judgmental and hypocritical than accepting. I was so frustrated when it seemed more about the rules you must follow and the verses you must commit to memory, than the relationship you had with your heavenly father.

For me, there was this giant disconnecting between Christ and the way his followers were demanding that you live. It wasn’t until I set foot in the country of Uganda, 9,346 miles away from my home that I learned what it truly, honestly, and genuinely looked like to “act like Christ.” And ironically, it wasn’t the church leaders, the teachers, or even the adults that I met, but rather it was the kids that taught me what it truly looks like to love.

There's something about the faith of a child, to be completely in awe of what Christ has done for us and so full of joy that you can't help but explode with love.

The little ones I have met over the course of my five trips to the beautiful country that I get to call my second home have taught me just that. Each and every time I see their shining faces, I see Christ in them.

The way they hold my hand so tightly when we pray in church, the way they worship their heavenly father with a devotion most adults struggle to find. They understand that they have a savior that loves them, that cares for them, and most of all believes in them.

From little baby Muaka, who isn’t much older than two, teaching me it’s okay to fall down, it’s okay to stumble, and it’s okay to skin your knee every once in a while. To my beautiful sponsor child, Benita, teaching me to laugh through heartache and find joy in the midst of pain.

From spunky and sassy Drake teaching me that God definitely has a sense of humor, to sweet, precious Jane showing me that sometimes you can fix everything with just a good game of hide and go seek or a long hug.

All these little ones have taught me that our goal as Christians is not to act perfect or to follow some set of rules. But rather it is to realize how we are broken; to realize that we are complete and total train wrecks.

To accept that we are not perfect and we never will be. And once we realize that, once we realize that everyone around us is just as imperfect as the rest of us, we no longer live with this constant pressure. More often than not I felt like I lived in this little bubble of believers but instead of living in His abounding peace and overwhelming grace, I felt that I was constantly battling my insecurities and my imperfections.

I was being held back by my fears and not living in the freedom that the Lord provides. Because of kids like Muaka, Jane, Benita, and Drake, I no longer view my faith as rules or regulations but as a relationship. I no longer strive to “act like a Christian” but rather “act like Christ”.

I am humbled because I have learned the Lord takes us, as we are, complete and utter messes. He takes us by the hand and whispers, “you can do this.”

THE MASTER OF BUSYNESS I WAS BEING SWEPT AWAY IN MY SELF-PLACED POSITION OF PROVING I COULD DO IT ALL.

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B Y ANDREA MARLOWE e gathered in an open field off a back road. The fireflies danced around us as dusk settled in. The ambiance were thickly laden with pastels of the sky and darker hues of the earth, and yet the night was still young. A stage sat illuminated with tall pillars of lights, offsetting the darkness. Smaller stringed glowing bulbs accompanied them, hanging from posts that lined the sides of the stage. A cross was mounted directly in the center, resting behind the pillared lights, igniting an atmosphere of calm. The air was peaceful that night, as we had gathered to worship.

Children’s laughter could be heard in the distance.

Giggling. Yelling small words in small voices. Many stood as a united body in Christ, lifted their hands to the heavens and sang praises, shouted prayers, wept convictions to our God. But I sat. I sat in silence for most of the evening. And I watched. I began to take in the truth that was all I had left in me; the ability to simply observe without partaking.

A speaker came to the stage. Her face exuded joy absent or accompanying speech. She spoke with gentle, yet assertive conviction in each word. She knew her God. She trusted Him. I began to take in the truth I was not so sure where I stood in this regard.

I glared at the sky, looking for rest and comfort and a passion to rise up in my soul like it has so many times before. Nothing. I found myself resting in nature, surrounded by creation and beauty without any appropriate response. I was tired. I was empty. I was hungry. I was starving. I was starving for joy again, for life again, and to know my God again. My life had not seen true rest in months, and my weary soul was simply attempting to keep up with a constant output of energy, with little to no investment coming in.

I had become the master of busyness, and the queen of a non-stop lifestyle where sleep was rare and stress was high. I easily fooled myself into thinking this is that pattern in which I thrive, and this is how I excel.

But we were made for rest. We were made for work and fun and rest; all balanced and woven within one another. The tapestry of life produces far less color without one of these elements. I had become so busy following God, serving God and allowing Him to work through me that I had forgotten. I am not God. My energy is exhaustive and limited and finite.

I had recently said to a friend ‘I feel I am drowning.’

We are all swept away by something, be it life-giving or life-robbing. I was being swept away in my selfplaced position of proving I could do it all. In the midst of this, I had become so busy and yet so weak. I had become too weak to stand in surrender. I had become too weak to wave my white flag. I had become too weak to raise my hands, reaching up and outward and high towards heaven to simply say I give it to you.

At the end of the evening I finally gathered myself to stand on my feet. Song lyrics of Jesus breaking chains and setting us free resonated through the open field.

Only the night stars and minimal stage lights lit the area now; but I could see things clearer than in so long. I raised my right hand, reaching high towards heaven and said I will answer your call and not my own. I knew that even the seemingly or falsely good elements in my life were robbing joy from the relationship with my God. In surrender I’m learning to be swept away by eternal renditions of grace and joy and peace rather than endless temporal rhythms of tasks and to do lists.

I’m learning to reprioritize myself to remember God within my life while I strive so hard towards serving Him. I’m learning to drown in His love and nothing else. But I have to be willing to balance the elements of life He has breathed into me. Each of them. He is weaving an intricate tapestry for the story of my life.

He has so much left to teach me.

A PRAYER FROM MY UNSURE HEART

I THOUGHT I KNEW THE WAY. I THOUGHT I UNDERSTOOD WHERE YOU WANTED ME TO GO. THEN I BECAME SCARED AND HESITANT AT THE OUTCOME. IS THAT YOU TELLING ME IT ISN' T THE RIGHT PATH OR IS THAT THE DEVIL TRYING TO SEND ME DOWN THE WRONG PATH?

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B Y KAREN HIGUERA how me the way Lord. Guide me. I sit here, alone, in silence, hoping to hear your words.

Hoping you'll tell me what I should do. I'm so lost, I'm so unsure. How can I know which is the right path to take? Are these your words I am hearing or are they my own that I hope are yours?

How can I ever be sure?

I can't understand Lord. I know the answer can be to wait but I'm not sure if you're telling me to wait or my patience isn't strong enough. You've given me this beautiful life and I trust the path you've chosen for me. I want to take your path. Please show me your path. Guide me to it and give me wisdom to follow you and the ability to hear you.

I think of your word in Proverbs 16:9; In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.

I thought I knew the way. I thought I understood where you wanted me to go. Then I became scared and hesitant at the outcome. Is that you telling me it isn't the right path or is that the devil trying to send me down the wrong path? How can I ever be sure Lord? I want to trust in the plan you have for me, but Lord, I'm so unsure which is the plan to follow. Show me your path that I may follow it and touch my heart to hear your words.

This surprise, this change of plans you've given my life, is this your way of establishing my steps? Should I go all in? I struggle often to know if I am reading into things too much or if I just try to make the answer I want in my head fit with your word that I am reading.

I think of Jeremiah 29:11-14; For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you. You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the Lord, and I will restore your fortunes and gather you from all the nations and all the places where I have driven you, declares the Lord, and I will bring you back to the place from which I sent you into exile.

Lord sometimes it feels like I have been exiled. I pray this new path is the one you have heard our cries for and are now guiding us too. We give glory to you Lord and pray that you use us, guide us, give us courage, give us wisdom, and show us your way. I pray this with all my strength. Amen.

Cherished

Valued

P H O T O G R A P H Y M O D E L

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C H R I S

K A L E Y

L A M P K I N S

D I G N E N

Kaley Dignen "EVEN THOUGH I WILL NEVER GAIN AN EARTHLY FATHER, MY SOUL AND HEART WILL BE FOUND IN MY HEAVENLY ONE"

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ANGELICTESTIMONY et’s start at the very beginning. My mom married my dad in 1984. It is so weird just typing the word “dad”, from now on we will refer to him as I know him; Herman. My mom had just turned 23, and couldn’t wait to start a life with Herman.

Her childhood was a “real” one, although she aimed for the “bad” guys. She didn’t fully understand what she truly deserved in a husband until after he left. My mom, (Karen) grew up playing every sport, on prom court and a very well rounded woman. Herman was born in Annapolis, Maryland and grew up most of his life there. His parents raised 2 boys and one girl.

After they were married my parents began a life in Maryland.

Fast forward, and their first child was born. My brother Austin was welcomed into the world of January 1985. Time went on, my dad was a cop in Maryland and my mom a stay at home mom. Before my mom was given a set of twins, she miscarried 2 babies.

One of them was my brother Jacob. In 1991, she gave birth to him in hard labor. This tore my mom up, while Herman was emotionless. My mom felt alone.

What had happened? When my brother was 6, they moved down to Florida where a little over 3 years later Kristin and I were born (my twin sister).

Let’s skip to the part that I began writing for. When Kristin and I were 4 years old, Herman left. I know what you are thinking. Why? How? Have you seen him since?

There are more details than I could ever type but he left 3 kids a wonderful mother behind to do everything. Over the years, we have seen him locally in town, at public places or at a red light unaware that a family is so close yet so far away.

Here we are, almost 23 years old and I don’t remember the last thing that my father said to me.

BLOGGER / MODEL ­ ORLANDO, FL

After a nasty divorce, no child support and running from the law, all I want is for him to know my FATHER, JESUS. Surely, it has been tough don’t get me wrong. My life is a story and I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason. My amazing mom taught me everything I needed to know that a father would teach his children. My mom handled it all. Along came JESUS, and my world was turned around.

Even though I will never gain an earthly father, my soul and heart will be found in my heavenly one that will never leave, or forsake me. May my earthly father, feel his grace and know his LOVE, like we do.

Ladies, this is for you. I am proof of an average girl who did not grow up with someone to call dad. There is no guy, whatsoever that will forever fill that gap in your heart or empty space. That is your true fathers’ position. Jesus holds that title forever and he wants you to accept that offer.

I can’t tell you how many girls I have been influenced by or been in contact with that search for that man figure and approval in their life because they did not get that growing up. I am here to tell you, it is possible to run far away from that. If you are familiar with my past blog posts, I have never had a boyfriend. I am truly content on waiting and praise God daily for giving me strength to not search for approval from guys like most girls in this situation would do.

All in all, I regret nothing of this life and want everything I feel and know from Christ to fall back on Herman. Wherever you are, whatever you are doing, whoever you are with, just know that I love you and I think of you always, dad.

Whew.

Here is the good part, I have a father. His name is JESUS.

ANGE

You are about to peer into a glimpse of

ELIC

f the last 3 years of Angelic Magazine.

THE BEHIND THE SCENES ST

I

" IF PLAYBOY AND MAGAZINES LIKE HUSTLER MAGAZINE CAN BE CR CAN’ T A MAN BE BEHIND A MAGAZINE T B Y JESSE ANAYA

t was the summer of 2013; I was 27 years old and still searching for my moment.

There was a voice inside of me that wanted to be a somebody. To not just float through life but seize it. To go down in history as someone who wasn’t afraid to dream.

To dream like the immortals.

“Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, wondering, fearing, doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before.” – Edgar Allan Poe My debut album came out in May 2013 and in September 2013 the debut issue of Angelic Magazine would be released. It was all a part of my divisive plan to seize my moment, to actually experience what I prayed in my heart to come true and not just be a dreamer but a doer.

The music and fashion in JESUS. MUSIC. FASHION. comes from this: Music and Fashion is where I put my hopes in dreams in. And if I was going to make music and be a part of creating fashion, internally the only way I could justify myself to do it was if I did it for Jesus.

To be angel like is to be Angelic. Angelic Magazine: Jesus. Music. Fashion. This is how the magazine conceptualized.

So, after seasons of trying to be signed by record labels, I self-released a 14 track electro-house album on iTunes, Amazon, Spotify – all those places and wanted to see where it would take me. All the labels told me they didn’t know what to do with my music because my music had a twist, it wasn’t just club or electronic sounding, it was electronic Jesus music. And when I wasn’t dreaming about traveling the world as a DJ to Prague and Paris at night, by day I was photographing fashion photography.

For that debut magazine issue, I photographed every fashion photo-shoot, wrote every article, interviewed every person who was featured and designed each page of the magazine. I had no team or staff and decided I wanted to go anonymous with it. I felt internally better that way. The glory would be completely His. An illusion in people’s minds would be created that Angelic Magazine was a real magazine with real employees, not just one person with a camera and laptop magazine.

I decided that my name or face wouldn’t be printed inside of the magazine or posted anywhere on social media relating myself to the mag.

Everything was rolling. I released my album and I was about to print and release a magazine.

A few days before September 1st, 2013, I drove to the print shop in San Diego, which is where I was living at the time to pick up the first batch of printed copies. I can remember my eyes swelling with tears when I held that box of printed copies in my hands.

You see, my life wasn’t glamorous by any means. I was dead broke. Twenty seven and still trying to figure out who I was. I wasn’t where I wanted to be in life and I was still trying to figure out my path in life. Trying to figure out how to pick myself up off of the mat.

So, I picked up that box of magazines and it all suddenly became real. I was holding onto a dream fulfilled. I was the editor of a magazine that blended my faith, my passion and my creativity and for a moment in time I had seized my moment.

I only had enough money to print copies of that debut issue so I had no idea how I’d do it all over again in 30 days for October. There still was no other staff or anyone helping me to create the magazine. It was only Jesus and I. October came and then November and into December and January. Somehow, someway Angelic Magazine would release an issue on the first of each month every month and I think this is where God’s sense of humor showed up.

In my anonymity people began to think that the person behind the magazine was a girl. Angelic Magazine developed a majority following of women and with that following most people tended to assume it must be a woman pushing the buttons behind the scenes.

But Angelic Magazine wasn’t created to reach only women; after all, I was a DJ and fashion photographer, that’s where my roots were. I wanted a blend of bold creativity featuring men and women, singers and songwriters, house music listening and folk playing passionate Jesus followers, while we featured

TORY OF ANGELIC MAGAZINE

REATED BY MEN FOR THE PURPOSE OF OBJECTIFYING WOMEN, WHY THAT ACTUALLY EMPOWERS WOMEN?" photography by the best photographers who wanted to stand boldly for their faith.

I began to get emails though saying “I love what you ladies are doing” or the “It’s so great to see a woman standing up for other women” compliments. And I started to feel really insecure about it.

People started to assume I was a woman. In my divisive plan to record and release albums, distribute magazine issues, travel the world and proclaim Jesus, having people think I was a lady was not a part of that plan. You can laugh out loud right now if you’d like.

I told Jesus, “I think you picked the wrong person for this” and honestly questioned if I should relinquish the magazine to someone else.

And in my seeking of God with this, in His way He revealed to me that if Playboy and magazines like Hustler magazine can be created by men for the purpose of objectifying women, why can’t a man be behind a magazine that actually empowers women?

In that revelation, my insecurity faded and has never come back. Angelic Magazine today has a 77% female readership and I’ve made it my goal that if we’re going to be read by a majority of women, Angelic Magazine is going to faithfully reach these women. I didn’t pick the audience but I will respond to the call and audience God has given.

Along the way, the magazine has grown into having a team of writers and today we have 7 of them living across the country, living in place like Dallas, TX, Atlanta, GA and places in between. Every month we connect through Skype and along the way I hired a sales team to bring in revenue for the magazine. Along the way God has moved in these three years.

We’ve done events in Phoenix, featured photo-shoots from New York City and have helped create a women’s ministry outreach in Lexington, KY. Three years ago at this time, I sat in my car in the parking lot of a Starbucks coffee shop in north county San Diego to tap into their Wi-Fi. The very first issue of Angelic Magazine wasn’t completed in a high rise office or even in an air conditioned room. That first issue was

finished and designed on my broken laptop in the summer mid-afternoon San Diego heat in my car outside of a Starbucks as I stole their Wi-Fi. I’m still learning how to press on and do things in His name while balancing how to reveal more of myself outwardly as I stand for Him. I found a comfort in being anonymous in the sense that there could be no personal expectations of me if the average person who read the magazine had no idea who I was. But I feel God calling me to reveal more of myself as I walk into this next chapter of my life with Him beside me.

Me sharing this story with you today is a part of that process.

Last year my name got written in the magazine for the first time. I challenged the magazine writers to be more vulnerable in their writing and I realized I too had to be vulnerable and couldn’t hide behind a nameless article.

My life today isn’t a picture of perfection and I am still in the struggle, but I do not fear the struggle or desire to run from it as perhaps I once did. Because in these years I realize it’s in the struggle where I grow.

It’s in the seasons of drought that allow me to appreciate the Harvests. It’s in the seasons of the ordinary that inspire me to be bolder, dream bigger and believe that God can do the impossible.

And it’s in the wandering of the desert where I discover more of who I am and who God is calling me to be. It’s in my walks with only Jesus helping me that I get to know more of His heart as He changes mine.

Three years later I’ve begun to write music again.

Three years later and I feel like I can finally breathe because I don’t have to question if Angelic will release an issue on the first of each month but faithfully prepare for it because I know God will always provide.

I’m ready for what these next three years have to offer.

Lord, I’m ready.

ANGELIC

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE DEBUT S EPTEMBER 2013 ISSUE. PHOTOGRAPHED IN PHX, AZ

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE JUNE 2015 ISSUE. PHOTOGRAPHED IN NYC

"THE ADVANCE" BAND SPOTLIGHT IN THE JANUARY 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN PHX

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE DECEMBER 2014 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN PHX

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE APRIL 2015 RAW B EAUTY ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN B OSTON, MA

"THE INCANDESCENT" BAND SPOTLIGHT IN THE OCTOBER 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN S POKANE, WA

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE NOVEMBER2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN NEW JERSEY

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE FEBRUARY 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN S OCAL

PHOTO FROM ANGELIC MAGAZINE' S

"JESUS MUSIC FASHION EVENT" OCTOBER 2014 PHX, AZ

TORI FLEMING MUSICIAN SPOTLIGHT IN THE S EPTEMBER 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN LOS ANGELES, CA

JACOB HUNT MUSICIAN SPOTLIGHT IN THE AUGUST 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN LEXINGTON, KY

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE NOVEMBER 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN COLORADO

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE JUNE 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN MICHIGAN

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE JANUARY 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN ATLANTA, GA

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE F EBRUARY 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN PHX

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE F EBRUARY 2016 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN S AVANNAH, GA

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE JUNE 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN TUCSON, AZ

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE MARCH 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN LEXINGTON, KY

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE MARCH 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN S OCAL

PHOTO-SHOOT FEATURED IN THE NOVEMBER 2015 ISSUE PHOTOGRAPHED IN LEXINGTON, KY

Embraced

Seen

When you are "That friend" "IT IS HARD HAVING TO TELL PEOPLE YOU LOVE THAT YOU WILL NO LONGER BE LIVING YOUR LIFE THE WAY THEY DO. OR EVEN RISK RECEIVING JUDGEMENT AND CRITICISM FOR YOUR STANDARD OF LIVING AS A CHRISTIAN. " B Y LAUREN PRATHER eing that most of my life was spent running away The further I got in my walk with Christ the more He from Jesus, once I surrendered to Him I felt like it sort began to blur the division between what my life was, of split my social scene in two. The people I knew and and what it is now. People could tell I had a major things I did before Jesus, and the people I have met change occur in my life and often vocalized that they and things I do now based on my life with Jesus. had noticed. Thus presented a perfect opportunity to I still have many of the same friends, but I quickly share who exactly was responsible for all this new realized that I had become "that friend." found, genuine happiness. It wasn't awkward or "The religious one." uncomfortable, it was simply the truth.

"The holy roller."

I found that trying to force an encounter with Jesus "The Christian." on someone else will never work. No matter how No matter what label I was given, it quickly set me badly you could want it for them. It will make you apart from almost everyone in my life, even some in "that friend." Jesus doesn't work by force. He will my family. If I wanted to go to church, or a Christian however, use his immeasurable love to overflow based function I knew I was most likely on my own. though you. He has a love that cannot be contained What I didn't realize when I was saved is that it is and has shown me that as long as I embody that love hard to be set apart. It is hard having to tell people the overflow is bound to wash over on someone else you love that you will no longer be living your life the and water the seeds that have been planted there. way they do. Or even risk receiving judgement and There will always be opportunity to scatter seeds and criticism for your standard of living as a Christian. share His love, but He has to be the one to present that It made me really categorize my life. I felt the need opportunity. to be a little more reserved about my faith in front of Something else I hadn't realized being new to my my non-Christian friends. They knew my stance relationship with Christ is that it's ok to not know because I didn't want to deny Him, but I was fearful. I what you're doing. However, it is not ok to leave it at didn't want to scare them away from a relationship that. By pursuing a deeper relationship, God will bring with Christ all because I came on too strong. about ways to share Jesus through you. He'll place you On the other hand I felt guilty as a Christian. Wasn't in situations and eventually you'll get used to being a I supposed to be a witness and share the good news? little uncomfortable. That's where you grow. That's As equally as I felt it was a Christian duty, I genuinely where you want to be. wanted my loved ones to know the freedom and It's also ok to be "that friend." That friend who immeasurable love that I had gained. The few times I prays. That friend who listens with an open heart. That tried to force myself to present Jesus to someone who friend who never stops loving. Be that friend. wasn't a Christian it was not well received. It was awkward, uncomfortable and very hard to redirect the conversation after that crash and burn.

B

rooted in truth MAY WE BE PEOPLE WHO CENTER OUR EMOTIONS ON WHO GOD IS AND NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND. B E S B eing human, we sure do feel a lot of things. Emotions can be beautiful - the different ways that joy and pain are expressed in humanity are unique and intricate. Real, God-given emotion means that gratitude and joy can Y MILY ENFF

overflow in our hearts as much as sorrow and mourning can sink into our souls.

I’m not sure about you, but I can experience so many different emotions over the course of the day. I can feel happy after drinking my morning cup of coffee, frustrated at the traffic on my way to work, joyful as I cry tears of laughter on my lunch break, and hopeless as I listen to the news on the drive home. For the most part, I am so thankful that God has given us emotion as an expression of what is happening within us. It becomes challenging, however, when we put more weight on our emotions than we do on the Truth of who God is.

In Matthew, Jesus asks his disciples, “Who do you say I am?” And depending on the day and how I am feeling, I know that my responses might fluctuate. I might say that God is in control and sovereign or I might say He is distant and condemning. In all of this, it is important for us to remember that something intended for good – our emotions and their expression – can be used by the Enemy as something that creates distance between us and God. The circumstances of our lives and the chaos of this world can so easily distort the truth. We read the newspaper and are flooded by scenes that make us feel like God is not in control. We go about our day and maybe experience hopelessness or feel like we lack the presence of God. And in all of this, it can be so easy to believe that our lived experiences are a reflection of the truth – because if it weren’t, why would we feel this way?

The Truth is, however, that we serve a God who never changes. James says He “does not change like shifting shadows” (1:17). We serve a God who is steadfast, who is forgiving, who is perfect, who is almighty; we serve a God who extends compassion and mercy and love towards us. We can rely on this when our feelings fail us. And when we’re not ‘feeling it’, how do we remember who God is? We can start in the Bible: David in the Psalms always comes back to the Truth despite his current circumstances – I always find it encouraging that while David might start out by honestly questioning God’s character, he always turns it around to remind himself of the person God is. We can look back on the ways we have encountered God in the past – who has He showed himself to be?

Because of my experiences with God, I have learned that He is constant, He is passionate, and He is the maker of great promises. If these steps are still too difficult, we can always ask God to show us the truth of who He is. He can take it.

May we be people who center our emotions on who God is and not the other way around. May we be aware of what drives us – how we’re feeling or who we’re serving. May we be able to receive the love that God continues to pass our way – though our feelings and our seasons may change, His great and unconditional love remains the same.

Uganda M I S S I O N P H O T O G R A P H Y B Y G A B R I E L L A G O N Z A L E Z

SHOW MERCY & AN OPEN HEART INSTEAD OF LETTING YOUR EMOTIONS OVERCOME YOU WHEN SOMEONE SAYS SOMETHING YOU DISAGREE WITH, SHOW MERCY AND AN OPEN HEART.

Y

B Y KAYTIE GAUS ou don’t have to be glued to the TV or tune in to your local news station to know of the events going on in the world. Most likely your social media feed is flooded with stories. Office conversation is filled with tales of recent tragedies and politics. It seems as if these types of occurrences have been braided into our modern day living.

The world seems to be struck with shock and waves of emotions as these events happen, but instead of coming together as one in unity, the world finds itself divided as stones are being casted back and forth. People are attacking one another through social media, and if someone’s idea of what is “right” isn’t accepted, the other party is rejected.

People are not only putting labels on others, but are labeling themselves. Putting one another into tiny boxes and rejecting everything the other has to say. They have become close minded and seem to post and speak without thinking of what others might feel.

These labels are detrimental to society and the life God has in mind for us. In Mark 12:31, we know the greatest commandment as loving our neighbor as ourselves. Would we want to feel unworthy, outcasted, and shamed for who we are? Of course not, so it’s time that we as the church come together to love not only those close to us, but everyone. It is a hard idea to grasp when you hear reports of someone murdering the innocent, but as Ephesians 4:29 tells us to not let any corrupting words leave our mouth, in hopes to give grace to those who hear. God have given us the ability and power to give love and influence others.

Instead of letting your emotions overcome you when someone says something you disagree with, show mercy and an open heart. Let them know that you long for a community of unity and acceptance, and you know it can only be done through Christ.

Romans 12:2 is one of my favorite verses because it is so applicable every single day. “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Known

Accepted

KAREN SINGER

/SONGWRITE

ANGELIC: Why do you choose Jesus?

SHEA: There was a moment when I was sixteen that impacted my life forever. I was in a very unhealthy relationship with a boy. I was at camp with some friends and the speaker was sharing about how we try to fill a void in our lives by filling it with things that leave us empty. He specifically talked about filling that void with relationships and explained we were created to have an intimate relationship with Christ. When we have a genuine relationship with Christ other relationships organically give God glory. I remember tears rolling down my cheeks because I realized I was known and loved by God and I could have those things in Him. He met me where I was. He chose me first so that I could have freedom from the very bondage I was walking in at that time. I gave my life back to Him. ANGELIC: How would you describe your sound and style of music?

SHEA: My music today is mostly a fun pop sound with lyrics that encourage others to live with purpose.

However, my roots are worship and you get a little of that in there too, which I love. I enjoy creating a set that is energetic and fun, but it’s also so important to me to create a moment in my set to share my story and give other people a personal opportunity to be real with God and respond.

ANGELIC: Why do you choose to do music?

SHEA: I choose to do music because it’s such a big part of my story! I have loved to sing for as long as I can remember. I started leading worship soon after I accepted Christ. It wasn’t long before I was writing songs and using those songs in different places to connect with others and share my story. I fell in love with the fact that I could use my creativity and gifts as a vehicle to love others and encourage them.

ANGELIC: What makes you different from other artists?

SHEA: The thing that I especially love about artistry in the Christian genre is that we are all using a platform to share a message, but we are doing it in a way that is unique to us as an artist. I’m not really trying to be separate from that. I just want to play a small part in the big picture. What I hope makes me stand out is boldness and a unique connection with my fans. I want to be someone who speaks life and truth over people. I want my fans to know I’m an advocate for them and I believe in them.

ANGELIC: What do you intend on accomplishing with music in the next 3 years?

SHEA: Ah, I have so many dreams and goals for the next few years. Now more than ever I want to put all my focus on reaching hearts. I’m passionate about reaching the next generation. I would love to see my music reach people through every possible avenue: radio, concerts, TV and I want to tour more. I plan to take those opportunities of those things as they seem fit, but I don’t want it to be my first priority. As an artist, I want to focus on hearts not charts.

N SHEA

ER

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NASHVILLE

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TN

"I REMEMBER TEARS ROLLING DOWN MY CHEEKS BECAUSE I REALIZED I WAS KNOWN AND LOVED

BY GOD"

ANGELICMUSIC

STOP WITH THE FEAR, THE HIDDEN STEPS ARE THE HOLY ONES "FAITH REQUIRES US TO KEEP WALKING CONFIDENTLY BECAUSE WE TRUST THAT DESPITE THE CIRCUMSTANCES THREATENING TO GET IN THE WAY, HE WILL TAKE CARE OF US" B Y CLARE TUCKER just learned something new about faith after three years of following Jesus and studying The Word. I didn't learn it on a good day, but during another bad one.

I have been feeling like a stagnant Jesus-girl again, allowing the daily grind to drag me back into a blinding fog. I emerge into a clear patch only to find out that two weeks have passed. I've been wandering around, speaking surface talk with loved ones around me and none with the Father.

Things haven't been going so bad…but not so great either. Not because He forgot me, but time without him feeds my depression exponentially. It's a cloud that envelopes me with false comfort when my spirit is starving. Even when seemingly good things surround me, I feel nothing. I take it all for granted and become an exhausted victim who is just sick of getting out of bed and doing it all over again.

But even in the fog, I always get that one clear patch and it reminds me that God is there and He cleared it for me. I ask for the same thing every time I get this reminder, "Open my heart. I want to talk, Jesus." Sometimes all I can mutter out is, "Jesus, please." He is there.

I then remember to lift up the problems that have piled up on me in that two weeks of silence, and there is peace. "Have faith in me. I am always faithful to you," he says. But what does it really mean to “have faith”? If I have faith that something will happen and then it doesn't happen, does that mean I didn't have enough of it or put my faith in the wrong thing?

I realize in that moment, something new. Faith isn't just knowing God CAN do anything, but faith is actually believing He IS GOING TO work all things for your good, even when you're not getting what you want. Even when you don't know what those things are and you don't know what the outcome is exactly supposed to be.

Faith is believing the unseen, but the “unseen” doesn't just mean the existence of God because we can’t see Him, it means the steps we have yet to take. The steps He orders for us, for our good. Faith requires us to keep walking confidently because we trust that despite the circumstances threatening to get in the way, He will take care of us and the details will fall into place at the power of His name.

Even when it's pitch black dark and we have no idea what the steps are or how many, we’ll take them and end up in the great space to which He was always trying to get us.

I

WHAT AUTISM HAS TAUGHT ME ,

THERE IS ALWAYS LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL NOT. IT EXISTS .

I

B Y S TEEN JONES became a mother at the very young age of twentytwo. In all honesty, most girls my age barely knew how to take care of themselves, much less another human being. I promise you, I was no different. But thankfully, there is no better teacher than experience. By the ripe old age of twenty-five and having my second child, I plunged deep into the never-ending world of motherhood.

And the world ofAutism.

At the age of three, my son was diagnosed. Three years later, my daughter was also diagnosed. Let me tell you something, there is nothing like being thrown such a curve ball at that age. In your early/mid twenties you are still learning yourself; being molded, figuring out relationships, discovering your world views, and what you truly believe about life, love, and faith. To have something like autism, and everything that comes with it, be the grid by which you figure out all of those things... was tough.

Hindsight, it was an incredible gift.

I want to share with you some of the things autism has taught me. Lessons that I am incredible thankful for and wouldn’t trade for anything. Because being a mother is hard all on its own; motherhood grows you and stretches you. Being a mother of autistic children made me who I am today, and I will be forever grateful for it.

Autism taught me to never take anything for granted.

Every tiny milestone was/is celebrated. A new word, an appropriate facial expression, answering a question, following directions, a proper introduction to a new friend, their first sentences, changing of routines without a meltdown, or even an incident-free run to the grocery store. I fully appreciate every milestone and new achievement, however small.

Autism taught me that my Abba knows best. My father in heaven knows me. He knows what I need and when I need it. He knew I needed a kick in the butt to disengage my auto-pilot. He needed to wake me up to my need and dependence on him. Because after the diagnosis, He was

WHETHER YOU CAN SEE IT OR

it. Even now, Abba knows when I need rest and when I need to wake up and work hard. He knows when I need encouragement and when I need a gentle (or not so gentle) correction. I learned to fully trust him early on, and haven’t looked back since.

Autism taught me to release my expectations. This is huge and one of the things I feel parents struggle with the most. We all have expectations for our children and usually don’t realize it until they are not met. Autism busted those for me very early. Now, I don’t expect anything specific from my kids, but whatever they do accomplish is a gift!

The fact that my son can look me in the eye and tell me he loves me and that I am a “good parent” is a ginormous, unexpected gift, one that I will never ever take for granted.

Autism taught me how to be selfless. I was an extremely selfish person before autism. (Still a daily struggle in all honesty.) But autism taught me that I had to prioritize my kids and their needs over my own. It didn’t matter I was tired, they needed to go to therapy or receive their supplements. Yeah, I wanted to go out to dinner as a family and not have to cook, but the restaurant was too stimulating for them. I mattered less, and that was a heathy realization for me.

Finally, and the most important, autism taught me that our current troubles won’t last forever. This is always one of the first things I tell parents with newly diagnosed kids.

However hard it is right now, at this very moment, it will get easier. My children are now thirteen and ten. My son wasn’t potty trained nor did he speak until the age of five.

He is now in middle school, talented at all things technology and can express his feelings, good or bad.

There is always light at the end of the tunnel, whether you can see it or not. It exists. Our Abba makes sure of it, Jesus promised it, and the Holy Spirit always delivers it.

You want to know how I know? Because, no kidding, just now my son looked me square in the eyes and said, “You are a good parent after all.” That, my friends, is what our God can do.

P H O T O G R A P H Y A S L A N

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M O N I Q U E

PHOTOGRAPHER SPOTLIGHT // INTERVIEW

What is the best part about being a husband and wife photography team?

Being a husband and wife team, we have the privilege of spending a lot of time together and with our family. Photography has allowed us to be home with our kids, travel together to exciting places, and serve and minister to couples, as a couple. It's easy to be on the same page during weddings when you're working with your best friend of 15 years. We really do enjoy every aspect of working together.

If you could photograph 1 living person, who would it be?

We would love to shoot John Piper's family.

'Desiring God' and some of his other work has been instrumental in how God moved in Aslan's life when he was a young Christian. It's always a blessing for us to witness and document a family's relationship dynamic. Plus, we'd love to give them awesome photos as a thank you!

What message do you want your photography to display?

We love photos that are honest and raw; those "real life" moments that are sometimes pretty, sometimes messy, and always beautiful. Before every shoot, we remind our couples that the point of our session is not just to get a "pretty photo" but to capture the relationship and unique beauty and chemistry between the two of them.

How does Jesus influence you as photographers?

The Lord has pressed upon our hearts that we are photographers that celebrate marriage. Whether we interact with engaged couples, couples on their wedding day, or couples 5 years into marriage with kids running around, we want to document where God has them.

How does Jesus influence you in your marriage?

In the last 4 years that we've been married, we've moved across the country twice, had two kids, did three years of vocational ministry, and we've started a full time photography business. It has been insane... but we strive to pursue what the Lord would have us be in our personal lives and in our marriage. Above all else, we desperately cling to the gospel and the hope that is in Christ.

THE SHEPARDS ASLAN + ANDRIA SHEPARD / / PHOENIX, AZ

ANGELIC

MAY JESUS BE GLORIFIED JESUS. MUSIC. FASHION.