February 2015 Issue

THIS IS A SAFE SPACE…TO EQUIP, EMPOWER, AND ENCOURAGE EVERY WOMAN TO REACH THEIR FULLEST, GOD-GIVEN POTENTIAL. WWW.COUTURE31.ORG

WE

SUPPORT MISSIONARIES BY

TELLING THEIR STORIES THROUGH PHOTOGRAPHY AND FILM.

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ISAIAH 6:8 “I HEARD THE VOICE OF THE L ORD SAYING, "WHOM SHALL I SEND? A ND WHO WILL GO FOR US?" A ND I SAID, "HERE AM I. SEND ME.”

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his issue is the last issue that features our base in the southwest. We've had a print and digital issue since September 2013, and up until this point we’ve featured Jesus, music and fashion from the southern California, Arizona and Las Vegas areas.

Next month Angelic is opening up our doors to everyone. From the Pacific to the Atlantic, Jesus. Music. Fashion. will be spreading everywhere.

As the editor ofAngelic, I’m ready to go. I’m ready to take up my cross and hold up my shield of faith as we run further out into the world.

But that's next month. This month, we have a collection of talent and stories of real people seeking to live for Jesus that embodies our mission: Raw transparency, passion, bold creativity and a sincere heart to proclaim the goodness and mystery of God. Angelic was never created to fit into the box of religion, Angelic Magazine was created to fearlessly proclaim Jesus by doing whatever it took.

Although we are free and belong to no one, we make ourselves a slave to everyone to win as many possible. To the Christian we stand for Christ, to the music lover, we love music, to the fashion fanatic, we are fashion. We become all things to all people so that by all possible means we might save some. We do this for the sake of the gospel, that we may share in the blessings of Jesus Christ.

We pray that Jesus penetrates the hearts of every eye who sees this February issue and that His glory will be shown on every page of our work.

JESUS. MUSIC. FASHION.

WWW.ANGELICMAG. COM

PHOTOGRAPHER:

D ANIEL P RIMERO

MODEL: M ADELINE B ROWNING STYLIST: S ARAH

M URZYN LOCATION: P HOENIX, AZ

"I REALIZED I HAD BEEN MISSING A RELATIONSHIP WITH MY CREATOR. IT’S A SHAME THAT IT TOOK HER PASSING FOR ME TO BEGIN MY WALK, BUT IF IT WASN’T FOR HER PASSING I WOULDN’T HAVE THE CHALLENGING, BUT YET SO REWARDING RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS THAT I DO TODAY. "

Why Jesus?

My late sister was someone I strived to be like because of her grace, her merciful heart, her selflessness… these were things I yearned for, but couldn’t easily achieve. But I remember as people spoke at her services, the one thing that kept popping up when people spoke of her grace, her merciful heart, her selflessness was her relationship with Jesus Christ. I realized I had been missing a relationship with my creator. It’s a shame that it took her passing for me to begin my walk, but if it wasn’t for her passing I wouldn’t have the challenging, but yet so rewarding relationship with Jesus that I do today. Jesus has taught me grace, mercy, selflessness and continues to teach me much much more.

Why Photography?

It all started with my dad. He always had his camera with him whether it was a road trip, family gathering or just because. As I got older I always found myself visiting old albums of when I was younger, and that’s what started it all. My dad’s documentarian approach is what really sparked my love for photography. But as I work as a more artistic style photographer, I’m never going to let go of my documentarian style shooting. It’s my way of being creative but also to document memories.

Where do you get your creative inspiration?

I believe most of my inspiration comes from my community. I’m blessed enough to be surrounded by passionate photographers, designers, bloggers, musicians, and writers. Seeing my community do what they love inspires me to do the same. Seeing them strive to better themselves in their craft, as well as their being, is where I find my inspiration.

Best part about living in Phoenix?

The community that Phoenix offers is amazing. In my perspective, people in Phoenix are competitive, but they value community. It’s common that people are always reaching out to others to collaborate. Don’t get me wrong, there are people who have the strict “I’ll do it on my own” competitive perspective where they wouldn’t want to work with anyone, but I find that very rare here in Phoenix. It’s the community that makes Phoenix different from the rest.

What would you like our readers to know about you?

I love meeting new people and creating whatever whenever. Having a community is so important.

It’s the key to growth. With anything regarding my life, I always strive for growth. You can grow by yourself, but you can make leaps and bounds if you step out and reach out for community. You can grow with them and they can help grow you.

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"CHRIST IS A CREATOR. I F YOU LOOK AROUND THE WORLD FOR A MINUTE , IT DOESN ’ T TAKE LONG TO REALIZE THAT G OD LOVES DIVERSITY, UNIQUENESS , AND BEAUTY ALIKE ."

QUESTION : How would you describe your sound/style?

ANSWER: Quiet noise funk=.just kidding. We’re a rock band plain and simple. Genre means less to us compared to making music that’s timeless and human. We want to create songs that are old and new sounding at the same time, but most importantly songs that connect.

QUESTION : Our mag blends Jesus, Music & Fashion into our content. Does Jesus play a role in the music you guys create?

Anwer: Absolutely. Christ is a creator. If you look around the world for a minute, it doesn’t take long to realize that God loves diversity, uniqueness, and beauty alike. We do too. That’s a big driving factor, if not the driving factor for us to make the best art possible.

Question: If you could paint the future for your bands success in the immediate future, what would it look like?

ANSWER: Haha, if I knew exactly what that’d look like I’d tell you. Right now, music doesn’t pay the bills. If we can get there this year I will be happy. Long term though, we want to play in front of lots of people. Like arenas would be fun=haha

QUESTION : Any projects or shows you guys have coming up?

ANSWER: Yes it doesn’t have a name yet, but we just finished tracking a 7 song EP with our friend and producer Jeremy Griffith. We are extremely pleased with how the tracking went plus how everything sounds. It will be mixed and mastered over the next month or so and released this spring.

QUESTION : Outside of doing music, what would you like readers to know about you guys?

ANSWER: I suppose that we are true Florida boys who love the beach and boating and stuff.

Garrett’s a huge a surfer, but not Blake or me in the winter–way to cold haha. We’re moving to Atlanta in March and will really miss the water, but the Gulf Coast is still close and will always be home.

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Weston Hine, Garrett Hine, Blake Tallent, Casey Morgan North Florida to Atlanta, GA

N

o one warned me that my relationship with God would be hard.

No one described the cataclysmic love I would experience; the insurmountable peace I would hold gingerly in the palms of my hands; the raw emotions I would grapple with constantly. Most importantly, no one shared that the journey with my Savior would liberate and captivate me all at once. There is just no preparing for a love like His. I want to introduce myself to you with the openness of lifelong friendship and the newness of a gentle knowing. I hope to explain who I am to you, but ultimately, I hope to explain a love I can’t quite wrap my mind around.

You see, I’m one of those flawed humans you encounter on your everyday journey, a broken woman trying to find my way, but peacefully knowing I already belong. And so to explain myself, I explain Him, my Jesus; because He is everything to me. I don’t know how else to put it into words other than this: when Someone changes your life, every syllable you speak from there on out is changed. My prayer is that the syllables come together, piece by piece, to write a story only He can inspire.

The Lord initiated this love relationship with me when I was a fumbling twelve year old, a seeking girl struggling with insecurity and self-confidence. And the 9/11 attack shook me to my very core, a reminder that life is a fleeting vapor, a transparent fog. I realized that day there was a relationship I desperately needed in my life. And so we, me and Jesus, started to walk.

Over a decade of walking with Him has taught me that I want to live my life with both palms facing up. I want to open my heart and my mind so wide that if God breathes in my direction, I immediately respond in obedience. So two years ago when I heard Him whisper, “I want you to love My daughters,” my heart beat fast. I was so eager to serve Him, I almost missed

the opportunity to listen to Him. Only as my pace slowed did I understand His heart was simple and straightforward: just love the women I cross your path with, even if they are different from you.

God is gracious and adventurous like that. He calls the least likely to do His work, only further evidence that only by His power do lives truly change. Today, my heart is tied to women in the adult entertainment industry, His daughters and women I desperately love. And I’ve served warm meals and my knees have hurt from kneeling in dressing room prayer; I’ve watched baptismal waters heal and recovery become possible and hearts exclaim that, Wow! God is real and His love is greater than anything I’ve ever known! And with each day that passes, I get it: this is what He meant. There is exhilaration that comes the moment we understand our role in His story.

I continue to discover daily that He has plans for all people. Our God points in directions we never even fathomed walking; He gives words we never thought of speaking, only to wrap His arm around promising we will never walk alone. He’s shown me love looks broken; grace starts from scratch, and joy is the healing balm of tears.

And so my life has been changed by a Man on a cross, a Father that exudes loving-kindness, and a Spirit that breathes life. Three in one, His encouragement prods me towards something of a Heavenly applause, beckoning me onward into His embrace.

After experiencing what the world has to offer, I gratefully choose His way every time. I’m thankful for His patience with me as I even ponder any other option.

For He knows my heart and loves me just as I am.

I’m Kelsey, your friend and His creation. It’s a beautiful joy to meet you.

S

"THIS ISN'T ABOUT HOW I'VE FOUND MY PERFECT ENDING OR PERFECT HUSBAND, BUT HOW GOD HAS SHOWN ME HOW PURE HIS LOVE IS. HE IS LOVE. THOUGH OUR DESIRE FOR RELATIONSHIPS MAY NEVER GO AWAY, WE NEED TO BE REMINDED THAT OUR DESIRE TO BE LOVED HAS ALREADY BEEN FULFILLED. "

By Katie May

ome of the times in my life where my love grew deeper for Christ was through dating.

Last year, I fell for a guy I knew I shouldn't have. I was drawn to him not just because of the "bad boy" charm, but by the way he made me feel special. But the reasons I felt "special" and "loved" by him weren’t because of what was deeply invested between us.

It's that feeling of learning who someone truly is and wanting more, but not knowing when and where to stop, or even how. Praying through that dating process brought lots of tears and conviction. I knew this was not a relationship that was uplifting either of us, or pointing us to a Greater Love.

Two verses every girl knows are, Philippians 4:8, "...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things." And Proverbs 4:23, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life."

I knew I was not in an honorable relationship, and I was not guarding my heart.

Leaving that unhealthy situation was beyond liberating, but I did really struggle for months afterwards. The absence of God in a

relationship forces us to rely on one another instead of Him, and that is the most destructive thing we can do as humans.

Once that relationship ends, we feel a sort of emptiness we foolishly created for ourselves. But God never left me, and He definitely never stopped loving me.

Recently I dated someone who made me feel special in very different, but good ways.

Getting to know each other was pure and intentional. Praying through this, I did not feel convicted about anything. I searched for red flags that just weren't there. I felt free, and I know that's what God has intended dating to be for us!

Note to self: It is possible to date and learn about someone without investing too much emotionally and physically. What a beautiful thing.

In the end, neither of these were relationships I could see long term. God was faithful to me by allowing so much exposure, but also protecting me. I know I've gained more than I should have lost.

This isn't about how I've found my perfect ending or perfect husband, but how God has shown me how pure His love is. He IS love.

Though our desire for relationships may never go away, we need to be reminded that our desire to be loved has already been fulfilled.

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REVELATIONS 2:5 “REMEMBER, THEREFORE FROM WHERE YOU HAVE FALLEN” I will never forget rock bottom; that moment when shame branded me like cattle. The sunniest of days, the warmest of weather, and yet in that moment I stood hopelessly in darkness.

I remember the lump in my throat when my Father innocently looked me in the eye in complete compassion and asked why anyone would treat me this way?

I remember the beam of sunlight that illuminated the ugly words etched into my car doors, the police fingerprinting for evidence and every car fixated on me as my high school campus dismissed from class that day.

This is my story, and it is anything but typical and everything personal.

At eleven years old, I knelt on my bedroom floor and asked Jesus to forgive my sins and become the Lord of my life. I walked away from my bedroom gleaming at the proclamation I had made and boasting in the Savior I had met.

What I didn’t realize then was the exact moment I decided to boldly stand for Christ was also the exact moment Satan took notice. But he waited for his opportune time and I blissfully walked unaware.

It wasn’t until the beginning of my senior year of high school that my life began to unravel and my vision of Jesus became muddled. Seventeen and the new girl in town, I was consumed with the desire to be liked.

This desire quickly introduced me to a boy who was like-minded. His slight curiosity in me was all it took for me to slowly alter my faith to fit him into the picture. So desperate for love, I clung to him despite his reputation and despite the cost.

Desperate for love, he clung to his “girlfriend” and in secrecy to me.

Just six years later, from the exact environment where I had surrendered to Christ, I walked under the doorpost of a bedroom carrying an entirely different weight, just as Satan desired. I was sold to this boy for nothing, who cared nothing about it and watched, as my life became

NEW A NGELIC MAGAZINE WRITER A TLANTA , GA

nothing.

To what extent would Jesus go to welcome one daughter home? There is no limit. In all of this, all my nasty sin that had led me to nothing, one ordinary morning I was allured by something, namely Jesus.

I am uncertain of exactly how to put it into words other than the insistent love of God that stopped me dead in my path much like it stopped Saul in Acts 9.

A deep luring that lead me into the desert and exchanged my Valley of Achor for a door of hope (Hosea 2:14). A luring to confess my sin to Jesus and to carry my sin with me to the people it affected.

It was just as God said to Adam in Genesis 3:19, “from the dust you came and to it you will return.”

Only this heap of ash I returned face to face with became the ground in which my life without Jesus died. Just as Jesus rose from His grave, together we rose from mine.

Grace is for the living, and that is exactly what I was shown. To what extent have I been saved? It is unfathomable.

The cross I had hung of my father’s despair, the words of humiliation written in my car, the onlookers who scoffed and laughed as they passed by was really not my crucifixion at all.

It was Christ’s. This dripping cross of shame He took from me and from it he said, “You will not die but live, and proclaim what the Lord has done.”

Psalms 118:17.

What makes a heart desperate for love? Jesus does.

And I praise God that the desperation Satan twisted for death, God made alive in Jesus Christ. I am alive, free and redeemed.

I

6 OUT OF 10 MAGAZINES FOLD WITHIN THEIR FIRST YEAR. 9 OUT OF 10 FOLD WITHIN 3 YEARS. THIS IS OUR 3 RD YEAR AND WE ARE STILL STANDING.

B Y ANGELIC EDITOR read a statistic recently that 6 out of 10 startup magazines fold within 1 year.

And for the ones who stay standing after that first year, 9 out of 10 magazines fold within 3 years.

On February 11th 2012, www.ANGELICMAG.com went live online for the first time and this month will mark 3 years that we’ve stayed standing. We’re that last one who didn’t collapse and as I type this sentence, I pause, and allow myself to let that thought sink in.

We’re still going.

These last three years haven’t been easy. I’ve spent many of those days thinking about quitting the magazine and pursuing something else.

Is our following large enough? Is anyone even paying attention to what we’re doing? Is this what I’ve been called to do?

But through every question, Jesus would answer me. He’s shown me it’s not about the number of people we reach, it’s about that 1 person we can show what love means.

I have decided to follow Jesus and not turn back, and with that decision I’ve decided the rest of my life will be spent communicating who He is to people.

These last three years have been crucial to my walk with Jesus. What began as a creative endeavor to blend Jesus and fashion has turned into a living desire to do my part to lead people to the cross. I’ve learned that we can’t change or transform people, only Jesus can, but we can be His mouthpiece for expressing love.

The first year and a half of Angelic was sort of scattered with no real direction for what we wanted to achieve. Our website was a blog type and it consisted of posting photos from photo-shoots we’d do and occasionally mixing in blog posts.

Our photo-shoots are outreaches, moments and opportunities to step inside of a fashion setting to collaborate with creatives for the sole purpose of proclaiming Jesus.

But I wanted to do more. What was the next step? Was this all Angelic would be?

In September of 2013, a year and half since our inception, the first issue of Angelic was printed.

Not only would we be printed but we’d be printed in San Diego and Phoenix; the cities I called home.

The magazine started to build more traction.

People started hearing about this publication that wasn’t just a blog website type of thing, but we actually were doing a monthly print and digital issue each month.

Every month since September 2013 we’ve released a new monthly issue to date. And we don’t plan on going anywhere anytime soon.

So now, what’s the next step? We’ve stayed standing for 3 years. We’ve been refined as a fashion thing for Jesus to a monthly publication who seeks to wreck the world for Christ. The passion has increased, the creativity has begun to bulge and our desire to blaze a trail of spreading love and communicating grace is spilling over.

We are ready for the future. We are ready to spread our mission.

Angelic Magazine is spreading from the Pacific to the Atlantic next month, March 2015, and Jesus.

Music. Fashion is going to be shouted everywhere from coast to coast.

Is this all that is planned? No. The next step is to jump outside of the magazine pages and into a community. The next step is the Angelic Church.

God can do immeasurably more than we can ask or imagine. You’ll be hearing more about our next step soon.

ALL OF THE COVERS OF ANGELIC SINCE OUR FIRST PRINT ISSUE IN SEPTEMBER 2013 TO DECEMBER 2014

A COLLECTION OF PHOTO- SHOOT IMAGES FROM OUR PAST ISSUES .

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B Y P EARL E SPINOZA

e all wonder how we should wear our makeup for Valentine’s Day for a date night with our flame or a first date. I tell my clients that they should do something they are comfortable with instead of going out of the box.

With Bryce Gressley (Bryce is a model with AZ Model Management and Major Models NYC), I wanted to do clean look. She has gorgeous skin and I did not want to cover it up with a ton of makeup.

I started by applying a small amount of Tarte’s Clean Slate Timeless Smoothing Primer (www.tartecosmetics.com). It is perfect for her skin. It is not oily and perfect for winter weather skin. As a foundation I used Tarte Amazonian Clay Full Coverage Foundation. I applied a thin lay of the foundation, a little goes a long way (this foundation is perfect for people with an oily complexion) onto her skin.

I then used MAC’s Pro Longwear Concealer for under Bryce’s eyes. I used a Beauty Blender (www.sephora.com) to apply the concealer. A Beauty Blender is used best when damped and it helps not to over apply makeup to the face and also gives you a flawless finish.

I used a little bit of concealer on the eye lid before applying eye shadow to Bryce. I used Tarte’s Tartelette eye shadow palette. This is an amazing palette and everyone can use.

I used Natural Beauty all over Bryce’s under lid and blended. I used a tiny bit of Best Friend on the corner of Bryce’s eyes. Then Free Spirit in the highlight.

On Bryce’s cheeks, I applied Tarte’s Amazonian Clay 12-Hour Blush in dazzled.

And to finish Bryce’s look I used Velour lashes in WhispieMeAway. Bryce is ready for date night with this simple look.

S

"FOR A PROFESSION, I GET TO PHOTOGRAPH UNIQUE AND INTERESTING PEOPLE UTILIZING LIGHT, EMOTION, FASHION, BEAUTY, AND DRAMA TO WEAVE A STORY THAT I SEE IN FRONT OF MY LENS. WHAT A CRAZY COOL PRIVILEGE THAT IS. "

torytelling.

If you asked me what lights me up as a photographer and artist, storytelling is what I would tell you lights me up. Taking light, emotion, fashion, beauty, and drama to weave a story that I see in front of my lens.

There are two reasons that I think that I love storytelling through my lens so much: 1. Because of the knowledge and freedom that comes in being part of His story.

2. Simply because it’s how He’s uniquely designed and created me to be.

My own personal Jesus story doesn’t have the grit and battle scars like many I’ve met on my journey through life. For the longest time I was almost ashamed that my story was “vanilla” or “boring”.

But over the years God has allowed me to see the beauty and strength in owning the story He has given me. And instead of making me content in my “vanilla-boring” story, He has allowed me to have the confidence to live out and see the responsibility to daily lay down my story to be a part of His. The phrase “blessed to be a blessing.” will forever be something I strive to live out.

Let me explain…

I totally believe that when you say you’re a Christian…or a follower of Christ, you’re saying “not my will but Yours be done.” I am no longer laying claim to my single story on my own, but rather giving my small story to be woven into a much larger story…His story.

I’m giving all my hopes, dreams, wants, desires, baggage to Him to be used to give Him glory.

Visually, I relate that act of sanctification in my life to the sinful woman who wept at Jesus’ feet in Luke.

While I may not have the same record sheet of sin that that woman had, instead I carry my false pride, my judgmental heart, my need to pretend to

something I'm not, my deceit, my hardness of heart and lay them down at His feet and weep.

There is no question that He is holy and I am not. And what’s unbelievable, is that He has given me His son, His heritage, His story to claim as my own in spite of the ugliness that resides within me.

I know I have been forgiven much. That is the single most humbling, life-altering thing I can lay claim to in my life.

I am forgiven much, and am now called to love much.

That knowledge has permeated and woven itself into every single part of my life throughout my journey.

Especially creatively.

My life’s verses are found in Galatians: “make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. don’t be impressed with yourself. don’t compare yourself with others.

Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life. So let’s not allow ourselves to get fatigued doing good. At the right time we will harvest a good crop if we don’t give up, or quit. Right now, therefore, every time we get the chance, let us work for the benefit of all…”

Creatively, I love storytelling through portraiture. My dad once told me that: “there is at least one good and interesting thing in everyone you meet…find it.”

I believe that.

For a profession, I get to photograph unique and interesting people utilizing light, emotion, fashion, beauty, and drama to weave a story that I see in front of my lens. What a crazy cool privilege that is.

What is Simply Beloved?

The Simply Beloved is a ministry for women of all ages and walks of life. TSB has grown into a beautifully intricate community of women all around the world who love The Lord.

How did Simply Beloved start?

Deborah and I were acquaintances in high school, and reconnected over Instagram years later. We both felt God tugging at our hearts to counteract the negative influence on social media, but we had no idea what it would look like. We started with an Instagram, an before we knew it we had a website, and now we are publishing our very first ezine issue in the spring!

What is the purpose of your ministry?

Our hope is to promote a healthy image of the modern Christian woman in a world that is so influenced by social media. We hope to inspire women to use their passions to show Christ's love in all situations.

If there is one central message to women you'd like to communicate through your ministry, what is it?

That we are daughters of Christ. We are redeemed and truly beloved by the Creator of all things!

What does Jesus mean to you?

Jesus means everything to us. We believe in letting the Holy Spirit guide us in this ministry so that the glory will all be to our Father!

"JESUS MEANS EVERYTHING TO US. WE BELIEVE IN LETTING THE HOLY SPIRIT

GUIDE US IN THIS MINISTRY SO THAT THE GLORY WILL ALL BE TO OUR FATHER!"

CO-FOUNDERS: H ANNAH G RAY & D EBORAH S AVAGE

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"THE NEXT FEW YEARS WOULD BE FULL OF COUNTLESS WORSHIP SETS , PRAYER NIGHTS , AND CONFERENCES – ALL WHILE HIDING IN THE SHAME OF MY ADDICTION ."

E

veryone who has ever been a musician, and pretty much just anyone with ears, knows the cringing sound of an out of tune melody or missed note. Even if you don’t consider yourself “musical” you know when something just sounds flat out bad.

As a musician, I have had my fair share of those moments, but as a Christian, my walk with the Lord has at times also been out of tune and broken.

I grew up in and around ministry my whole life. My dad was a pastor, and several of my uncles and cousins were evangelists, worship leaders, and pastors as well. Music was always a central part of my family and I grew up around circles of old dudes with their guitars, banjos, and fiddles playing hymns and singing to the Lord.

Worship to them, was simple. And I loved that.

But soon before I ever even learned how to play an instrument, I missed my first note. I was 12 years old and I stumbled upon something called pornography. It didn’t take long until the stumbling upon was no longer accidental, and my “missed note” would lead to me playing out of tune for 10 years.

In my junior year of high school I felt the Lord leading me to pursue music more seriously and devote myself to worship. So I did. The next few years would be full of countless worship sets, prayer nights, and conferences – all while hiding in the shame of my addiction.

My heart burned for the Lord in those times like never before, but it seemed like no matter how passionate I felt during the worship set, by the time I got home, it was all gone. There was no song that could save me. It had to be Jesus.

I realize that this is a heavy topic. Jesus, worship, and porn aren’t usually together, and I am sure my story might not exactly blend in with the others in this magazine. I was asked to share my testimony about Jesus and music, and if you’re still reading by now you might be thinking that I have gone way off topic.

But one of the things I love most about the Lord is that when He is up to something, it’s usually never about what we think it’s about. I thought that when I decided to pursue music in high school that meant I would eventually become a worship leader or be in some Christian band.

And for a while, those things were true, and I enjoyed doing them, but that’s not what it was about for me. God knew that He created me in such a way that music would draw me into His presence like nothing else would.

When He spoke to me and led me to pursue music, what He was really doing was putting me in a position where I would encounter Him and be changed time and time again in His presence. I was being refined; I was being awakened, and still today music positions me before the Lord like nothing else.

Music has an end; worship doesn’t. Every day I write songs, and most of the time they’re filled with doing the dishes and learning to love my wife better than actual chords and melodies. I spend more time worshipping with friends in Friday night living rooms than on actual stages or in churches, and I don’t know if I will ever record another record again.

But none of that really matters. I love music, but only because it has always led me to Him. And in the end, if all that music ever profits me is more of Jesus - that will be enough.

"I JUST WANT TO ENJOY A PEACEFUL LIFE,

BE

GRATEFUL WITH WHAT GOD GAVE ME, AND TO BRING HAPPINESS TO THOSE AROUND ME. "

How did you get into photography?

I bought my first camera when I moved to Paris, France for a semester abroad in college. I had been modeling on and off for a few years and loved the production of a photoshoot and seeing the final image. When I did test shoots with photographers I would style the shoots myself and have a clear vision of how I wanted things to look but when I would get the photos back they never turned out quite right. In 2012, when I was pregnant with my daughter, I decided that I would work with some of the girls from the agency that I was represented by in Hawaii. The agency liked my work and told me to keep at it, so I did!

How does living in north county SD influence you as an artist?

I was born and raised in Cardiff by the Sea, a small community in San Diego. When I left home for college I moved to the island of Oahu and after being there for the past 7 years I recently relocated my family back to North County. I have always lived near the ocean and draw a lot of inspiration from the natural beauty of the water, sun, and sky. There are so many creative and inspiring people here and I have built some amazing relationships with stylists, makeup artists, and models.

Our mag blends Jesus, Music & Fashion. In what way does faith play a role in your life?

I have encountered a few challenges while trying to balance family and photography. My faith has really helped me to keep believing in myself and to continue to strive for more.

What do you aspire to achieve with photography?

To make people happy. It is my hope to be able to express myself creatively through the genre that I enjoy…photography. When I take newborn, family, and wedding portraits I am capturing a precious moment in the life of a family. These images are keepsakes that my clients can treasure as they remember that special day or time in their life. Knowing that I produced an image that will be loved for years to come is so powerful.

One day when your legacy is fully written, what would you like the last line of that letter to say and why?

Nikki was a caring, humble, and honest woman; a devoted mother and a loving wife, she treasured the little things and brought smiles to those lucky to have known her. I just want to enjoy a peaceful life, be grateful with what God gave me, and to bring happiness to those around me. It is really that simple.

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PHOTOGRAPHER: N IKKI MODE:L B ECKA P ALTER HAIR: ASHLEY H EWETT MAKEUP:

AMBER S ILVA

CARLSON

What is Hope Church?

Brian Smith: Hope Christian Church is a non-denominational, missional church that meets right on the Arizona State University campus in Neeb Hall at 11am each Sunday. Our mission is to bring the truth of Jesus to every ASU student. For the past 10 years, we’ve seen hundreds of students surrender their lives to the Lord! We want to see these students connect and mature with a dynamic Christian community at ASU. You have an event in February; explain a little what the event entails?

Wendy Smith: This February 6th, at 7pm in Galvin Playhouse on the ASU campus, is the event Sun Devils Wear Prada! Five years ago I got trained as an image consultant and began teaching young women about personal style. Since then I’ve invited my personal friend, style expert and author, Shari Braendel (fashionmeetsfaith.com) to help create an event where women could come together and learn the lost art of personal style.

Being married and also working together to lead a church and ministry, how do you juggle marriage and ministry life?

Brian & Wendy Smith: Ministry isn’t a job to us it’s a way to do life together. When we mentor and disciple others in Christ, we open our home, our family and our hearts to them. I believe that more than anything, students desperately need to see a husband and wife committed to each other and living for the next generation. We call our marriage a ‘missional marriage’. That said, we still need to make time and set boundaries to connect with each other and our teenaged sons.

To students at ASU who read this, what would you like them to know about Hope Church?

Brian & Wendy Smith: We believe there’s no greater time in your life than during the college years to make a decision about where you BELONG, what you BELIEVE and what you'll BECOME! We want ASU students to feel like they BELONG to our community regardless of where they’re at with their spiritual beliefs. If and when they decide to BELIEVE, we want to help them BECOME all that God’s calling them to BECOME. During our Sunday sermons and weekly Bible studies throughout campus we examine real life issues that are relevant to college life such as: leadership, campus life, service, friendship and relationships.

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MAEGAN DOCKERY ROME, GA ANGELIC MAGAZINE NEW WRITER

I have been going to church since I was born. My mom was the pianist, my dad the backup choir director, my grandpa a pastor.

When I was six years old, I was very interested in what it meant to follow Jesus and trust Him with all my heart. The pastor at my church talked to me about what it meant to get saved, making sure my six-year-old mind understood what a huge decision I was about to make.

I got saved that night and baptized a few days later by my grandpa. It was exciting and I was so thrilled to know Jesus now lived in my heart, too.

A few years later, I went to a Judgment House with some kids and youth from our church. After it was over, the pastor came up to discuss with everyone what it meant to be saved and how important it was to be a Christian when we die.

I knew I had been saved, but his speech scared me. I was so worried that maybe I hadn’t done it right or was too young before, so I asked Jesus into my heart again. I thought that doing this would help me, but it really just confused me.

I didn’t understand that when I became a Christian at six, even though I was very young, that I was a Christian, no matter what. Nothing could separate me from God’s love after I confessed my sins and told God I needed Him in my life.

Even so, on some church mornings, I would get anxious during the Invitation, worried that my previous attempts at asking God into my heart had fallen on deaf ears.

I was so focused on God being this big, scary, otherworldly being in the sky that could send me to Hell at a moment’s notice that I was completely missing the point of being saved. I wasn’t thinking of the fact that He sent His only son to die on a cross for me to be free from the sins I have committed and will commit each day.

I wasn’t thinking of how graceful our God is,

I wasn’t thinking of the fact that He sent His only son to die on a cross for me to be free from the sins I have committed and will commit each day.

I wasn’t thinking of how graceful our God is, only that He could realize He’d made a terrible mistake by living inside of me.

I was saved when I was six, but I didn’t fully grasp how much God loved me until I was in college. I went on my very first mission trip my sophomore year, and I got to help young students with homework and play games with them.

I got to deep-clean the kitchen and nursery of the church we were working with. I got to give out bag after bag full of food and toys so less-fortunate families would have things for Christmas.

Finally, after being so clueless for so long, I understand what it meant to be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ. I understood what it means to live like Jesus, no matter where you are. I understood that Jesus was with me all along, even when I was terrified of Him leaving me.

College was a great time of growth for me. I went on several mission trips in Kentucky, Texas, and I even spent a month one summer in East Asia. I got to experience missions in a way I’d only ever heard about. I finally found confidence in my faith and realized that with anyone, including God, it’s about building a relationship.

God isn’t a big, scary, otherworldly being in the sky that wants to send us all to Hell. God is our best friend, our comforter, someone that wants to hold our hand and keep us safe.

I am continuing to grow in my understanding of Christ as I daily walk with Him. I may not be fearless yet, but I know God is always by my side, hoping I invite others to walk alongside us.

I

By Jesse Anaya wrote a song dedicated to the woman I’ll marry one day and I hope to dance with her to it on the night we get married.

I’ve kept an eye on not giving my heart to anyone because I’m waiting to give it to her.

The song is called Lovely because she is my lovely.

She and I have actually met twice before but our meetings were brief and I can’t remember all of the details. I try to recount the little things we’ve shared but eventually my memory grows distant.

You see, I’ve only seen her in my dreams.

She’s appeared to me twice in my sleep and both times when she’s appeared, she and I are married in the dreams. I try to hold on to what I can and not allow myself forget those moments because those moments have done something to my heart.

We’ve laughed together, shared a part of ourselves with each other and we know that in our life of searching, we’ve finally found one another.

The cruel thing is though, in my dreams I’ve never been able to see her face.

She first appeared to me five years ago, and then three years ago was the last time. And ever since, she’s been a ghost in the distance of my life. The different girls that have crossed my path, I sometimes wonder if they might be her. I'll know when I've found her when my heart comes alive like the way it does in my dreams.

I sometimes think I’m crazy for believing that a dream could be real but it’s in those

dreams that I’ve experienced what it feels like to love a woman without limits. I’ve asked God why He’d play with my mind and give me two dreams about a woman who’s face I can’t see. And for the three years since my last dream I’ve had no answer.

Only until recently have I finally understood why.

The girl in my dreams, the woman who I love, the one I’m saving my heart for, I don’t love her for what she looks like, I love her for who she is. My heart comes alive not because of lust or because of how physically beautiful I find her, because to be honest, I have no idea what she looks like. I only know that I can’t let go of the girl in my dreams because it’s she who taught me what to love without limits feels like.

I’ve felt her love too. I can’t let go of that feeling.

What I find attractive about a woman has changed over the years. In the man who I’ve become what I find most attractive about a woman today is a woman who is a fighter for the Lord.

There’s a scene in the movie 300 where Leonidas had just been threatened by a messenger to surrender his kingdom to King Xeres. Leonidas pulls out his sword and directs it at the messengers neck. The messenger shouts, “this is blasphemy, this is madness.” Leonidas turns and looks at his wife.

In the intensity of the moment they spoke no words to one another but understood exactly

TO LISTEN TO THE SONG "LOVELY" VISIT JESSEANAYA. COM /LOVELY

what each other felt. Their eyes connected and looking for her approval, Leonidas’ wife simply nods. He then turns back to the messenger and yells, “This is Sparta!” And kicks the messenger into a bottomless pit prompting the beginning of a war.

That’s the type of woman I want. A woman who has my back in the good fight, a woman who’s as fearless as me and although our roles and strengths in life may be different, we complement each other out of our respect for one another and in our love for Jesus.

My wife is lovely because she is fearless.

My wife is lovely because she loves the Lord.

There’s vanity and lots of surface types of things about people that cause people to be attracted to one another. Physical attraction is a rampant reason for why a man and a woman come together.

But one night stands, infidelity and lust are also a result of physical passion that leads to brokenness and emptiness.

I’m not interested in any of that.

I don’t just want my wife’s body, I want my wife’s heart. I don’t want it for a season or until another woman catches my eye, I want it forever.

Etta James recorded a song with a lyric that says “I want a Sunday kind of love, a love to last past Saturday night. And I’d like to know it’s more than love at first sight. I want a Sunday kind of love.”

I want that love but I know I can only have it if I appreciate her. If I value her. If I cherish her.

My wife is lovely because I find her beautiful for all of her, not just for the surface of her. My wife is lovely because I feel safe with her. My wife is lovely because we laugh together and stand with each other.

My wife is lovely because she has my back

and I have hers. My wife is lovely because she is a gift from God. I don’t know what my future wife looks like. I don’t know her name. I don’t know how we’ll meet, if we've already met or where our first date will be, but I know she’s out there.

Being with a woman because you’re physically attracted to her isn’t enough to keep you wanting to be with her. A relationship is more than physical passion, a relationship is growing with each other every day: spiritually, emotionally and communicating with one another.

When I was seventeen I found the place where I’m going to propose to my wife. I’ve never told another soul where this place may be or what my scheme is to do it.

All of my siblings got married at young ages and I’ve outlasted them all. I’ve sometimes wondered what God had planned for me in marriage and why I never found that forever love when I was younger. But I realize in these years my insight on who women are, and what I value in a woman has grown.

I can appreciate a woman of God today in ways that I couldn’t when I was still growing in my own walk with God. I’m 29 years old today and realize that somewhere out there a woman is praying for God to bring me to her as I’ve been praying for God to bring her to me. And I’m excited for that moment we find each other.

The song I recorded is written as a letter, my letter to her. A lyric from it says “I’ll always be true, all for you, all for love, for forever.”

If you are out there and are reading this, know that I look forward to taking you out on our first date. And know that when we say I do, you are the girl of my dreams.

PHOTOGRAPHER: B EKAH

S ONKE MODELS: M ORGAN TERUEL AND J ENNA M OHN LOCATION: C ORONA, CA ASSISTANT: E MILY G ALLINA

PHOTOGRAPHER - RIVERSIDE, CA

I

"ALTHOUGH I GREW UP IN THE CHURCH I DID NOT FULLY UNDERSTAND OR GRASP MY NEED FOR CHRIST. I DID AND SAID ALL THE RIGHT THINGS. I WAS SELF- RIGHTEOUS AND SAW NO NEED FOR HIM. "

was raised in a Christian home. Since, I can remember we attended church every week and were always involved.

I would be what they call your typical “church kid.” But although I grew up in the church I did not fully understand or grasp my need for Christ. I did and said all the right things. I was selfrighteous and saw no need for Him. I figured going to youth group every week and church on Sunday morning was enough. But by the grace of God, He slowly began to reveal to me my sin and depravity but also His grace and goodness.

As I started high school and continued into my first few years of college God continued to show me who He was and who I am in light of that. I began to understand my deep need for the gospel and for sharing the gospel with others.

I began to have affection for Christ and His Word. During this time, He began to create and develop a desire in my heart to move overseas and share the gospel with those who have never had an opportunity to hear the gospel, much less the name of Jesus.

As I continue to grow in my relationship with Christ, I have begun to see more and more the need for the gospel to be preached to all peoples. God wants to redeem all peoples back to Himself and for some crazy reason has invited us humans to be a part of that.

My desire is to somehow by the grace of God be able to join God in bringing people back to Himself.

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