July 2016 Issue by AngelicMagazine

JESUS.

MUSIC.

FASHION.

ANGELIC J U L Y

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ANGELICJULY 2Ã¹16

JESUS. MUSIC. FASHION. @ANGELICMAGAZINE

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OUR STORY MAGAZINE IS A MONTHLY PRINT AND DIGITAL PUBLICATION THAT BLENDS MUSIC, FASHION AND THE REAL STORIES OF PEOPLE SEEKING TO LIVE FOR JESUS. WE BEGAN IN SEPTEMBER OF 2013 FEATURING CONTENT SOLEY FROM THE SOUTHWEST OF THE UNITED STATES AND SINCE OUR BEGINNING, WE'VE SPREAD TO NOW FEATURE EDITORIAL CONTENT FROM THE PACIFIC TO THE ATLANTIC, AND BEYOND. WE HAVE READERS ABROAD COMING FROM PARTS OF EUROPE, SOUTH AMERICA, ASIA AND AUSTRALIA. ANGELIC HAS A MAGAZINE NAME BUT WE ARE A MINISTRY FOCUSED ON FEARLESSLY PROCLAIMING JESUS. WE SPOTLIGHT MUSICIANS AND BANDS WHO HEARTS STRIVE TO BEAT WITH HIS. WE FEATURE FASHION PHOTO-SHOOTS WITH PHOTOGRAPHER'S, STYLISTS AND MODELS WHO DESIRE TO PROFRESS THEIR FAITH IN HIM. OUR ARTICLES ARE GUIDED BY THE BIBLE. WE HIGHLIGHT ORGANIZATIONS AND MINISTRIES WHO FIGHT THE GOOD FIGHT OF FAITH. THE TESTIMONIES WRITTEN ARE FILLED WITH WORDS OF REDEMPTION AND GRACE. WE DESIRE TO STEP INTO THE WORLD AND BRING THE WORLD BACK TO JESUS. WE ARE NOT A RELIGIOUS MAGAZINE. WE STAND FOR JESUS.

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JESUS. MUSIC. FASHION.

ISAIAH 40:18 "THE GRASS WITHERS, THE FLOWER FADES, BUT THE WORD OF OUR GOD WILL STAND FOREVER."

PAYNES MILL ROAD JULY 16TH

VERSAILLES

7:30PM

A GENERATIONS CRY FOR REVIVAL

EDITOR LETTER D E A R JE S US

Itonside this issue we have several open letters being written to Jesus. If you could write a letter Jesus, what would you want to tell Him? This month is Fourth of July and lately in our country and across the world there's been bombings and hate. As followers of Christ our greatest weapon will always be love. If you are reading this, please remember to love because through the love of Christ we are set free. Our greatest letter to the world will not be in duplicating their behavior but mirroring the Spirit of God. Countries have laws and nations have ways of doing things but we are not under the law of the world but are living freely in the love of Jesus. So when hate tries to destroy, it is the Jesus in us that will bring peace. Be safe this Fourth of July. As Americans, summertime and hamburgers, hot dogs, soda and chips are a part of who we are this time of the year. Enjoy your friends, your family and the memories you will make. And share the love of Jesus with them. It will set them free. --

Jesse Anaya

PHOTOGRAPHY BY SUNNY GOLDEN MODEL MAKEUP LOCATION

AYLA BLISS

CAITLYN TUTEN

NORTH SHORE

OAHU

HAWAI I

SHARING STORIES WRITTEN BY EMILY SENFF

S O WHAT STORY ARE WE REALLY LIVING? ARE WE TELLING ABOUT FEAR’S VICTORY? COMPARISON’S? IS IT REALLY OUR PURPOSE TO WRITE B USY’S BIOGRAPHY, OR JUSTENOUGH’S TALE? IS THAT ACTUALLY THE STORY WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN?

story is a beautiful thing. As humans, we always seem to be looking for the stories around us. This is why we line up to see the newest blockbuster, why we are captivated by people who have lived through the unimaginable, why we hate cliffhangers and love happy endings. Humanity is filled with stories - yours and mine included. Recently I sat on my back porch on an early summer night, anxious about opening up my notebook and writing down a story of my own. But as I sat there, looking at the blank page in front of me, I felt a question rise up - "What story am I really sharing?” Or more specifically, who’s story am I really sharing? What had God done in and through my life that I simply couldn’t attribute to good luck or perfect timing? What struggles had God seen me through that I never believed I could see the other side of? I could really write hundreds of different accounts, but what story was I really living out? When you think about it, the Bible is simply a collection of stories about imperfect people who came face to face with the God who made them for a greater purpose. I think of Esther, the girl who teamed up with courage and saved her people. I think of Paul, the guy who persecuted Christians until he encountered Jesus personally. I think of Jacob and Noah and John and David and Deborah and Mary and Jesus and all of the stories- the lives- they brought to the table. The Bible comes alive when we see it this way. And for some reason, we so often count ourselves out from the kind of adventures we see written on those pages. Maybe we are held back by fear, or we don’t believe that we’re good enough or worthy enough to meet God as others have done before us. In these moments I am reminded of Ephesians 3:20 - “Now all glory to

God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think” (NLT). He has infinitely more planned for us! How incredible is that? And in our every day lives, we face choices. The story we live is a response to who God is and what happens when our souls get a glimpse of who He has envisioned us to be. So what story are we really living? Are we telling about Fear’s victory? Comparison’s? Is it really our purpose to write Busy’s biography, or Just-Enough’s tale? Is that actually the story we have been given? At times, it sure can feel that way. It can be so easy to settle for these other stories when days get difficult and rejection and fear take the driver’s seat. But as long as we are living in the light of what Christ has done for us, the answer will always be no – they will not be our story. God has given each of us an incredible story, one of infinitely more. These stories are so personal and unique, and yet they reach out to so many other hearts when shared. While the approach, the timing, and the context of our lives might differ, our God remains the same – He ignites fires of hope and joy and love under the seats of so many broken, weary, apathetic, and bitter souls. He pursues the hearts of the lost, lonely, and anxious alike and calls them His own. He loves without end, giving each of us something to look to when the world around us is falling apart. And because He is the same, we are not exempt from His ability to transform our lives and His desire to give us infinitely more than we could imagine. You, dear friend, are a walking story. Whether you’ve known God for years or are just hearing his name, He has given you a voice and something to say. What do you share with the world around you? Your story is a good place to start.

Loved

Blessed

PHOTOGRAPHY BY PHILIP TRAN MODEL

ANNEKA SCHWEIZER

LOCATION

SAN DIEGO

Dear Jesus

"I constantly give my heart over to the approval ofman, when yours is the only one that matters. You love me despite the fact that I trade your truths for more lies. " PHOTO-SHOOT PHOTOGRAPHED LETTER WRITTEN BY PHILIP TRAN Jesus, Somehow I thought this would be easier. Somehow I But it all comes together when I finally take my thought that because you called me here, there eyes off myself and put them back on you: you wouldn’t be this much struggle, or this much fear. I don’t love me because I’m good, you love me guess I just thought I wouldn’t have to keep proving to because you’re good. You love me despite me. Despite the fact that I still carry my chains even myself that I belong here, but most days, I do. Most days I just pretend I’m not drowning in an though you’ve unshackled me. Despite the fact ocean of insecurity, being crushed by the weight of that I gripe and moan that you didn’t make me everything I am not. Not talented enough, not creative with more natural talents. Despite the fact that I enough, not good enough. I don’t want to be here constantly give my heart over to the approval of man, when yours is the only one that matters. You anymore--in these chains. I don’t want to keep coming up short, and falling love me despite the fact that I trade your truths for behind, and never quite keeping pace with my more lies. I won’t ask for freedom, because I already have colleagues and peers. I want to believe you when you tell me you already approve. But it’s hard to believe it. I won’t ask for more talent, because I don’t that anyone would approve of me when I look down at need it. You have given me everything I need to my guilt-ridden hands and work that never quite show the world that you redeem the broken and turn their shame into glory. measures up. You went to the cross so that I’d never have to See, I’m trapped. Caught in a vicious cycle of prove myself again. You died my death so I could comparison and defeat. Trying so desperately to be worthy of this call you’ve placed on my life, but know life. So, Jesus. I guess I’m asking not to be better, always being beaten out by someone more talented, but to see you better. To keep my eyes up instead with a better eye, and better use of light. I keep thinking if I could just figure out a way to do of on myself. To trust you more than I trust “the what they do, if I could just tap into their genius, then voice of reason” in my head. The one that tells me maybe I could look at my work one day and not feel I should just hang up my camera because I’m like a fraud. But the more I try to mimic and imitate, never going to be as good as the photographers I follow on Instagram. the further I get from the man you made me to be. I guess, what I’m really asking for is that the I lose sight of who you’ve created me to be because I’m so busy trying to be someone else--someone Gospel would fall afresh on me every day. Remind me that I am yours. Remind me that worthy of this call. And I just forget sometimes. I you chose me. Remind me that the reigning King forget that you already approve of me. I find myself wanting to be more like them, instead of more like of the cosmos took my place beneath his Father’s you, and I sink further into this trap until you grab me wrath so that we might know one another. Teach me to remember that you don’t love me by the hand and remind me who I am. because I’m worthy of it, I’m worthy because you Your son. Your masterpiece. The object of your insurmountable affection. The redeemed. The justified. love me. Don’t let me forget that you are the truth. The ransomed lost you came to find. You call me your Help me to see that yours is the final say. That own, and I never really understood why. Why would way, when you tell me I’m already approved, I’ll someone as glorious, and as holy as you want take your word for it. - Philip someone like me?

(P I C T U R E D , PHILIP TRAN

)

Valued

Adored

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NOT ALL THOSE WHO WANDER . . . . . "YOU’RE ONE OF THE SPECIAL ONES… CRAZY, MAYBE. CALLED BY GOD, DEFINITELY. JUST GO WITH IT… HE’S GOT THE PAINTBRUSH THIS TIME. BE FREE. IT’S BEAUTIFUL. " B Y CLARE TUCKER - @CTUCKY What if God doesn't want what you think you want for your life? Free Spirit. Wild child. Rule breaker. Dream chaser. Can you be any of these AND follow Jesus, or are they so far removed from the spiritual realm that is Heaven? Do you have to have a house with a husband and children and a steady 9am-5pm job (or worse, in the case of my family of nurses, a steady 7am-7pm) to fulfill God's expectations of your life on Earth? Not. At. All. I want to urge you not to change your way of thinking if you’re one of the great dreamers, but to pray for an open mind and open heart to receive what God placed in you…on purpose. I need to share a few thoughts with all the wandering souls out there still under a hold of the familiar idea of normalcy. We are not normal and we never will be. Praise God for that. We are in the world but we are not of it. (Seriously, have you watched the news lately -- praise God for that.) God is not nervous and we belong to Heaven. We are looked at as crazy when these words we speak are over-heard from those who don’t subscribe to our life of freedom. Enslaved by the world and in constant chains by those we fear won’t like us or approve. Who cares? God’s kids don’t. If it doesn’t draw us closer to those Spirit-filled atmospheres we crave, and if it doesn’t advance the kingdom and bring one person to tear-filled eyes, drawn down to their knees in crushing grace…we don’t care too much about it. Trade. In. Your. Life. He has a better one to give you if you just ask Him for it and then let go of your control. He won’t ask you to change who you are, but He will mercifully change you into a better version of who you were always meant to be. I get to be more than just a forgotten girl with sad eyes, I get to be part of God’s story forever. Me. The wayward daughter who was so deep in sin that THE ONLY ONE who could recognize her anymore, was her Creator. That’s insane. But He loves us and He delights in us. So, be you. Wander. Dream. Chase life. Freely. Because He made you exactly how He wanted you to be, and the winds and the waves will carry you exactly where He wants you to go. Be sure of it. You’re one of the special ones… Crazy, maybe. Called by God, definitely. Just go with it…He’s got the paintbrush this time. Be free. It’s beautiful.

IS IT LOVE OR LUST? A GUY'S OPINION

B Y JESSE ANAYA

ne night stands aren’t love. Wanting what you can’t have isn’t love. Desiring someone for the flesh, not their mind or their heart but getting them so you can have them isn’t love. Because to love is to give. God doesn’t want a one night stand with you. He doesn’t want a quick taste of you. He isn’t looking for a mere moment with you or looking for ownership over you. He’s looking to grow with you. In love and lust, lust doesn’t want to give but only to receive and conquer. Lust doesn’t value you but only desires you. You are lusts object. To distinguish between love and lust, do you feel valued when you lust after someone? How do you feel inside when you genuinely love someone? Because to love is to feel good. But lust makes us feel dirty. It’s a funny thing, love and lust, one brings peace and the other brings war. To be loved is to be cherished. To be lusted after is to be diminished. Does God lust after you or does He love you? In your love and lust, and in those who love and lust after you, where is God in the middle of it? Because I’m certain that God is on the side of love. I’m certain that lust isn’t of God. So if you’re processing if you love someone or if it’s lust that is pulling you towards them or them towards you, lust is sins cousin. And love is directly related to God. Where there is sin there is lust and where there is love there is God. In the war of love and lust, always pursue God.

Faith

Hope

PHOTOGRAPHY BY KENDRA LYNNE

, LOCATION: LOUISVILLE, MODELS

BEN CALHOUN

AMELIA HARRIS KY

BEN WOLD

A letter to my Jesus IMAGES PHOTOGRAPHED AND LETTER WRITTEN BY KENDRA LYNN

"I’M SORRY FOR RUNNING AWAY. I’M SORRY FOR TRYING TO DO ALL OF THIS ON MY OWN. I’M SORRY FOR BECOMING WEARY OF TRUSTING YOU; OF NOT TAKING THE TIME TO BASK IN WHO YOU ARE. I’M SORRY FOR WORRYING, WHEN YOU TENDERLY HOLD ME IN YOUR HANDS" My dear Jesus, I guess I first have to start out by saying this: I’m so sorry. I’m sorry for running away. I’m sorry for trying to do all of this on my own. I’m sorry for becoming weary of trusting you; of not taking the time to bask in who you are. I’m sorry for worrying, when you tenderly hold me in your hands and never let me slip through your fingers. I’m sorry for running so very far from you and to every other thing or person besides you. I can’t believe I get to know you. I can’t believe I get to love you. And I certainly can’t wrap my mind around the idea that you keep loving me -- no matter what. I’ve been questioning, but I’m sure you already know. It just feels good to write it out. I’ve been questioning whether or not I can really, truly trust you. Whether or not I can trust new friends that you’ve given, could I really let more people in again? After everything? After countless moves, some harder than others and some that perhaps shouldn’t have happened. Can I really keep loving people, when it feels like they all change or only love me when they need me? You told me that loving you and loving people is the best thing I can do. You keep telling me that. Give me strength to keep loving, even when I grow weary. All of your love for me is more than enough . . . let it spill over to people around me. When I really think, I shouldn’t be questioning why life is hard or why I should have to trust you. I should be questioning why you love me at all. I certainly don’t deserve it. Why, Jesus? Why do you want me? And how on earth do you keep loving me? All I can do is sit here, tears blinding my sight and falling down my face. All I can do is whisper thanks, over and over, as my soul fills with gratitude. As I slowly pull further away from this world and more recklessly in love with my Jesus. As I thank you for being a constant shoulder I can lean on; someone I can surely trust. Oh, thank you. I don’t deserve friends to hold close. I don’t deserve lungs to breathe in the summer night sky. I don’t deserve to be able to make music, to sing to the one who created life and who loves everlastingly. Thank you. Bring me closer to you; closer to the light. I love you. -- Kendra

(P I C T U R E D , KENDRA LYNN

)

Holy

Redeemed

ANGELICMUSIC

MUSIC SPOTLIGHT

B Y JESSE ANAYA was reciting in my head what I was about to say to the crowd. The showcase was minutes away from starting and I could picture myself grabbing the mic and annunciating everything perfectly. Premeditating and planning is a habit I have but on this day God had his own plans. Angelic Magazine’s first ever singer/songwriter showcase was being held inside the Roastery Coffee shop in downtown Lexington on May 14th, 2016 when I heard someone say, “Ask Jesse.” I looked in the direction of where my name was said and this guy was sitting in a chair looking up at me. He asked, “Did you have to sign up to play tonight?” I could tell he wanted to perform but didn't know that every musician performing that night was hand-selected and we had been promoting this showcase for months. The night’s musician lineup was already in place and the showcase was minutes away from me grabbing the mic to address the crowd as I envisioned just moments before. So, I told him, “Yeah, we’ve been planning this showcase for months.” I had no idea who he was or what his story was but I felt compelled to ask him, “Do you play music?” He nodded. The processing in my head was happening quickly and I felt a nudge to ask him something else. I said, “Well, do you have a guitar with you?” And as cool as can be, he looked at me in the eyes and said, “I always have my guitar with me.” He had confidence. I told him, “Are you serious about wanting to perform tonight? Because if you are, you can go third in the musician lineup tonight.” I’m not certain what got into me. Months of planning and preparing, that habit I have, were diverted by a prompting from within. I believe it was God. He performed his self-written music acoustically that night on a whim. After the showcase I got to talk to him more in depth, I wanted to know who he was. What was his story? He told me he was from Nairobi and came to Lexington, KY through a refugee program. Abraham Mwinda. A guy who I wasn’t planning to meet, showed me something that night. He showed me to be sensitive to God's voice because He can make our plans better. Before I grabbed the mic that night I met a stranger and after the showcase ended and I walked to my car, I left knowing I had made a friend. Abraham told me he was going to give up singing music and that one day his guitar had broke. He was finished. But on that same day, a man he knew asked him to meet up at guitar center not knowing that Abraham’s guitar had broke. The man said he felt nudged, urged to buy Abraham a guitar, and on the day Abraham thought his making of music was over it became the same day God blessed him with a $1400 guitar. I asked Abraham what his goal with music is? And he told me “To change the world.” He told me he can’t quit making music or singing now, because he now knows music is his duty for God. If you get a chance to listen to Abraham’s music and see him perform live, you will be blessed by it. And perhaps God will nudge, prompt you in some way to be a part ofAbraham’s story of music as he seeks to change the world in Jesus’ name.

PHO

ABRAHAM MWINDA SINGER/SONGWRITER LEXINGTON, KY

"I ASKED A BRAHAM WHAT HIS GOAL WITH MUSIC IS? A ND HE TOLD ME “TO CHANGE THE WORLD. ” HE TOLD ME HE CAN’T QUIT MAKING MUSIC OR SINGING NOW, BECAUSE HE NOW KNOWS MUSIC IS HIS DUTY FOR GOD. "

STEVE PAVEY

@MWINDAGRAM

PHOTOGRAPHY BY AUSTIN KEHMEIER MODEL

DARBY OBERG

LOCATION

PRESCOTT

Summer of Inefficiency.

WHAT CAN YOU DO THIS SUMMER TO REST AND RECONNECT WITH YOUR FAMILY? YOUR FRIENDS? ABBA? B Y S TEEN JONES

could only hear the crickets song and the subtle sound of the wind blowing through the trees. The gentle sway of the bed swing rocked us back and forth. I glanced up at the chandelier hanging from the treehouse above. A book I’ve been meaning to read sat on my lap and I looked over to see my husband breathing in and out deeply, content with his well deserved nap. I took my own purposeful slow and deep breath, attempting to savor the quiet and beautiful moment. Nature, solitude, and rest with my husband of fifteen years. When I first saw that Seth Bolt, bass player of Needtobreathe, had listed the treehouse he built with his family on Airbnb, I jumped on the opportunity. Who wouldn’t want to stay in a gorgeously crafted, shabby chic styled treehouse on their family farm? This place had every amenity you could ever want in a treehouse; a working toilet, outdoor shower, antique king sized bed with a killer view. Not to mention a swing bed that hung underneath, the one we were currently occupying. My husband and I spent the evening reconnecting, laughing together, and playing board games perched among the trees. The unfortunate truth is that many people hear we went and stayed in a treehouse and immediately think, “That sounds like so much fun...but I couldn’t do that.” Wether it’s too different, or odd, or they just don’t have time to do something so silly. People like the sound of it, but very rarely pull the trigger. I’m worried that our culture is becoming too busy to play. Or to simply rest. We value efficiency, deadlines, and results. We measure and value ourselves by our successes; what we have done, and how quickly we accomplished it. Unfortunately, our mental and spiritual state can’t be measured with formulas, charts, or a to-do checklist. Sometimes I think Jesus would tell us we take ourselves too seriously. Our mental and spiritual health mean so much more to Him than what we accomplish. I think the quicker we figure this out, the happier and more joyful we will become. I believe those moments of fun, laugher, rest,

and whimsy are what Jesus meant when he talked about heaven coming to earth. Our connecting with family and friends around us, loving and serving them without worry of what we are “accomplishing.” Bob Goff asks the question, “What if our goal was to be inefficient with our love? And our goal is to be more and more inefficient as time goes by...” I am beginning to work on this becoming my relational mantra. If our goal is to be more like Jesus, then we can’t ignore His habits. Jesus sought solitude. He sought rest and to reconnect with His Father. He sought time alone with His closest disciples. Jesus was inefficient with his love...and his time. He spent time with people, talking with people, eating with people. Those things seemed to be the only things on his to-do list. In fact, Jesus began his three year ministry with solitude in nature. He went to John the Baptist, was baptized, and then immediately disappeared! That probably wasn’t the most efficient way to begin his ministry. He probably should have capitalized on the crowds and immediately started preaching. (At least that is the advice I imagine we would give someone today.) Throughout His entire ministry, He consistently took time to be alone and reconnect with His heavenly Father. Jesus valued his spiritual state. He had to; He was constantly pouring himself out to everyone around Him. So, if Jesus, the Son of God, the most spiritual person to ever walk the planet, needed rest and solitude to reconnect with his heavenly Father; how much more do we? How much more should we prioritize this in our own lives? What can you do this summer to rest and reconnect with your family? Your friends? Abba? Find ways to be whimsical and inefficient. Go stay in a treehouse, or just camp in your backyard! Go stay somewhere by yourself. Spend some alone, uninterrupted time with your children. Take your wife or husband somewhere unexpected. Go on an adventure with a friend you need to reconnect with. Only you know what your heart and spirit is prompting you to do. I just challenge you to follow it. Your Abba values your heart, mind, and spirit. It’s time we should too.

Sanctified

Anointed

PHOTOGRAPHY BY HANNAH WHELCHEL MODEL LOCATION

LAUREN DAFOE

SAINT JOSEPH

MICHIGAN

MIMAGES Y LETTER TO JESUS PHOTOGRAPHED AND LETTER WRITTEN BY HANNAH WHELCHEL

"YOU’RE A BEAUTIFUL MYSTERY THAT TAKES ME ON A JOURNEY OF DISCOVERING MORE OF MYSELF" JESUS,

I desperately wish there were words to adequately express my longing for you. From the moment I wake to the second my racing mind hits the pillow, I crave more of you. It’s as if you are a vapor that I want so badly to physically grab a hold of, but as much as I try, I continually realize that you are already surrounding me in a grasp tighter than my own. You are hugging my heart in ways my human mind cannot comprehend in the moment. The funny part? I don't have to adequately express my need for you. You already know, because you meticulously placed that need in me. You’re a beautiful mystery that takes me on a journey of discovering more of myself, as you reveal more of yourself in the process. I sit at your feet in silence desiring answers. As I humbly come to terms with how small I am and how big you are, it baffles me that you care so much about who I am, and who I am becoming. This world is captivating dad. You made stunning mountains that tower over me, rushing waters that I cannot keep up with, and the intricate human body. But dad, you also created my delicate heart that feels so deeply. You instilled in me my appreciation for good music, and my craving for a good chai. You gave me my love for compelling design and my talent behind the camera. You placed the birthmark on my leg that made me so self-conscious when I was little, and my snort that never fails to show up when I laugh. You know my tendency to want to control things, while also knowing my huge heart for relationships, and desire to love people in every country of the world. You made me, and you made the other 7 billion people I share this Earth with. Jesus there is hurt and immense pain, there is confusion, there is brokenness, there is poverty and disease, and there is gut-wrenching violence. However, who am I to tell you these things that you already know of. Jesus you know it all, you see it all, and you're in control of it all. Thank you for being a Father who loves, cares, and is

all-knowing. We tend to fear, but you know what the refugee situation will look like 5 months from now, how the Orlando victims’ families will be feeling a year from now, who will become our president, and how many orphans will be added to the 153 million that are currently without a home. You know why this morning my sweet friend was told she is facing cancer, and you know how you will cultivate my restless passion for social justice and orphaned children around the world. You know all of it, and no part of this life surprises you. You see my past. You see where I have failed, where I have sinned, and where I have been broken by situations out of my control. You see where I have been hurt by others, and have hurt others. You see where I have fought for truth, where I have wrestled with my soul, and the times I have been deeply joyful. You see the way I so badly want to be more like you, while being trapped in a sinful human body. You see the tears being shed over this letter because I wish I could be saying these things to you in person, wrapped in your devoted embrace. Thank you for the promise of Isaiah 43:19. You are making a way in my wilderness. You are opening doors to melt away my doubts, and you are taking note of the dreams in my heart. Dad, thank you for knowing me, thank you for running after me no matter how hard I try to wander. Thank you for being my first love, and my deepest desire. I have never known a love so deep until I surrendered this broken life to you. Thank you that this world is not my home, but instead my home is with your heart. Thank you for everything, sweet Savior. Love, Han

The Relief of Freedom CHRIST HAS OFFERED HIMSELF UP TO US FOR US TO BE FREE.

B Y KAYTIE GAUS - @KAYTIEMAY_ shamed. Regretful. Burdened. Dirty. Any of these words describe your heart right now? Often, this is the state of my soul. I have worn the weight of my sins like a coat for years. Dragging it along wherever I went. Accumulating more rips and tears as I continued forward. I was close to redemption, saw the goodness, tasted it, but was pulled deep back into the trenches. Tired, frustrated, I found myself crying and asking God multiple times to get rid of these struggles and challenges in life. I found myself questioning His path for me, why would He allow me to keep walking this way? It was like I was all alone. And then I heard Him say that He will never leave or forsake me. (Deuteronomy 31:6) I feel Him grab my hand and continue to move me forward. I feel this coat of sin, shame, sadness, and anger fall from my shoulders. I feel a sense of peace and comfort wash over me and make me clean. I am free from all of this weight. Brothers and sisters, I know this life is hard. Sometimes it can feel like no one is in your corner. You feel sin after sin pile up and you donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t know if you will ever be free from these chains, but let me tell you this - Christ has offered Himself up to us for us to be free. (John 8:36) He has paid the ultimate price so we donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have to carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. He longs and desires for us to live a free life while glorifying him. So whatever you may be bottling up, give it up to God. Feel the relief of freedom wash over you.

BUCKET LISTS HAVE YOU EVER MADE A BUCKET LIST FOR YOUR WALK WITH GOD? B Y KAREN HIGUERA Do you have a bucket list? This month with Independence Day many of us will stop and take time to appreciate the freedoms we are privileged to have and thank those who have fought over the years to keep them intact. The sky is truly the limit and no dream is too outrageous. So what are your dreams? Have you ever taken a moment to write them down? Some people prefer to use a vision board to lay out their goals for the year but what about a bucket list? The bucket list is a list of all the things you'd like to accomplish in your life. What is on yours? I have a variety of things like travel to New Zealand and to go parasailing. These things would be incredible and I really do want to do them in my life, but what about a spiritual bucket list? It sounds different but often times when we make goals we forget about our faith and turn to the material. It can be simple things. Maybe you've always wanted to have a prayer journal but never had the time. Maybe you always wanted to complete a devotional all the way through instead of stopping midway. Maybe you want to mix in Christian music or more of it instead of all secular music. They don't have to be huge, overwhelming goals. Just something we've always wanted to do to be closer God. To feel his presence more and open ourselves up to listen and be molded. When we write down our goals and set a timeline for when we'd like to achieve them, whether it be with our faith or any other topic, the likelihood of achieving them increases greatly. Knowing that, why wouldn't we write down our plan and start it in motion to become closer to God? We all struggle, but why not use today as the first day in your journey to accomplish your bucket list? I know I will! *Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all those who have fought and who still are fighting to ensure the beautiful freedoms that too often I take for granted. I appreciate everything you have done and you and your families are continually in my prayers. May God bless you.*

ANGELICTESTIMONY

CALEB WILLIAMS N LOUISVILLE

AGE: 24

"I WAS GAY. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I WENT TO THE ALTAR"

o matter how much love you have in your home, growing up knowing one of your parents didn't want to be a part of your life can be difficult. Even though I had one of the best mothers ever, knowing that someone didn't love me, began a work of serious abandonment issues that would haunt me into adulthood. Add on the cold nature of my uncles, bullying in school and from my youth minister, and you have a full blown male complex. Growing up around all females did not help me learn how to be "a guy." I was very feminine which led to a lot of bullying in school and church. I've always heard the saying, "don't call someone something unless you want them to be that way." In my case, that word was "gay." That word had been put on me from the time I was a small child. Being told you are something your whole life on top of wanting to be loved and accepted, especially from your own gender, twisted my mind into believing the lie the enemy wanted me to accept. I was gay. No matter how many times I went to the altar, was prayed over, or went through a "temptation cleansing," I couldn't escape this identity that had enveloped me. I have been a believer since I was seven. I genuinely loved Jesus, however, I had become so caught up in the need to be loved, I was not able to live in peace. As a teenager depression gripped me, and as a young adult, my obsession with making sure my friends loved me created constant drama. Being treated so badly in church, especially by my youth minister, I had decided church was not for me. As the word says, when you cut yourself from the body, you wither up and die. (1 Corinthians 12:12) I quickly turned to the life that had consumed me and I was miserable. I had become even more depressed, hated everything about myself, and the best way to not think about it, was party. Living away from Christ in my spiral, I did a lot of things I am not proud of. For about a year and a half, I gained the world, but had lost my soul. I found out a pastor I knew was planting a church in my

area. They got in contact with me and invited me to come to their plant meetings. I was a poor and hungry hairdresser who gladly came for the promise of food. The pastor knew I could sing and play the keyboard, and asked me to help them out. The last thing I wanted to do was be a part of another church, but these people were so kind, I couldn't say no, so I said I would help them until they could find someone else. God's plan was much different. While spending time with my pastors, they constantly showered me with love. They told me how much God loved me, and how they knew He had big plans for my life. After every meeting with them, I would go to my car and weep. Their love had pierced my heart. One evening while reading the bible, God grabbed my attention by giving me a vision of a heart that had two hands wrapped around it, moving back in forth as if to warm it. I was overwhelmed with love. Love from others, and love from the Father. He had always loved me, however this time I was willing to be loved. I spent my whole life looking for love when The Father was loving me the whole time. From that moment on my world changed. I received love and let God do the rest through Holy Spirit. I now know my identity, which lies in Christ, and the hang ups I once couldn't get past are like a distant memory. No matter how far you have gone, or what identity you have let someone give you, God loves you. Let yourself be loved. He has a plan just for you, and trust me, His plan is far greater than anything we could ever dream up ourselves!

PHOTOGRAPHER STYLIST HAIR

RILEY MICHELLE

KRISTIANNE YOUNG

/MAKEUP:

CORY THOMAS DANCER INTERVIEW // PHOENIX

SHANNON THOMAS

MAKEUP

V I C T O R I A C O L M E N E RO

DANCER

CORY THOMAS

INTERVIEW BY KRISTIANNE YOUNG

How did you get started dancing? My grandparents, who lived in Ohio, were avid social ballroom dancers. When I would visit during the summers, my grandfather would teach me in the basement of their home, every day. I was 13 when I started dancing social ballroom. But 9 when I saw my grandparents perform a Viennese Waltz and a romantic Rumba at their 50th wedding anniversary. I remember really feeling the presence of God in the crowd as we watched them float across the floor. From that moment on I knew I would always keep dance (romance) in my life and prayed I would one day find the same kind of love.

What does dance mean to you? I feel like through dance you can cultivate a more intimate relationship with God. Each dance has a unique creative expression. Ballroom is superstructured and athletic, rigid, like ballet. Salsa/Mambo is focused but also very personally stylistic, like hip hop. Samba is incredibly free and intense; it's very personal, you really do get lost in the drums. I love Samba the most because of the beautiful culture it comes from, Samba builds me up as a woman, it doesn't bring me down or make me question my physique or ability like other dances do, it does the oppositeâ&#x20AC;&#x201D;it frees my spirit and allows me to be the most creative, the most humbled. As a teacher and professional, how do you hope to positively impact the dance community? Well I've been blessed to be teaching for 12 years now. As a teacher and coach, students tend to confide and share their issues and concerns. So I've really learned to listen! And I've learned to share my own stories with them to help them feel safe, and normal. But mostly I love sharing God with them! What I know that is. I try really hard to break up negative patterns in the dance scene such as of stereotype, and sexual harassment. Guiding girls to be confident to say no in the dance scene translates to being able to say no in other situations as well.

Saved

Rescued

PHOTOGRAPHY BY LYNDSEY SMYTH MODEL

ALLISON HARVEY

LOCATION

LEXINGTON

ANGELICTESTIMONY

ALLISON HARVEY L E XING TO N, K Y

"HE HAS WIPED MY TEARS AND GIVEN ME RADICAL HOPE IN THE DARKEST OF TIMES, HE HAS GIVEN ME FREE HEARING AIDES SO THAT I COULD HEAR AGAIN, AND HE HAS BEEN CLOSER THAN A FRIEND." An estimated 7.4 billion individuals live on this when I was in need, He has wiped my tears and given planet, and somehow, no two people have the same fingerprints, no two people share the same DNA and no two people have the same stories. According to NASA, there is an uncountable amount of stars in the sky that are constantly spinning and growing and exploding, and yet there is still zero sound in space. Likewise, scientists admit to only knowing 5% of the possible information about our world’s oceans. But somehow, before we were even conceived, the Lord, with His vast, mysterious creation, thought about each of us. He knew what our names would be, how many hairs would be on our heads, and knew about all of the mucky sin in which we would become entangled. He created the stars and the moons and the depths of the oceans, but still found it fit that Allison Harvey needed to exist. And He feels the same way about you, too. Words fail me when it comes to describing the greatness of our God. He is the biggest big and yet the closest thing, and writing this “testimony” about the One I love should be the easiest task, but yet here I am, struggling to convey my feelings. I asked the Lord, “What is my testimony? How do I explain my story?” The more I prayed, the more I realized I was asking the wrong questions. How could I possibly put Jesus in a box by saying the only thing He ever did for me was save me? Yes, the Lord has brought me through some crazy things. I survived a rare strain of E. coli that shut down my kidneys and put me in a 10-day coma between my freshman and sophomore years of college. And ever since, that has been me. Coma-girl. When people ask for my testimony that is the script I read. But, He has done innumerable more things than that. He has created job opportunities out of thin air, He instructed strangers to hand me envelopes of money

me radical hope in the darkest of times, He has given me free hearing aides so that I could hear again, and He has been closer than a friend. However, to talk about my Jesus as if healing me from E. coli was the only thing He had ever done for me would be the greatest disservice of all time. It would be like describing a mountain as a molehill. My God is so much greater, and so much more loving to me than just saving me. The best part about it is that our “testimonies” are continuously being written. Every good and perfect thing is from Him. He unceasingly expresses His love towards us. And the best part is, because He is big and because He is loving, He can do God-sized things. He is a God that gives us friends from seemingly thin air, that are closer than family. He is a God who provides exceedingly more financially than we could ever ask of Him. He is a God that moves relational mountains on our behalves, and redeems broken friendships. He is so big, so kind, so present. Therefore, my encouragement to you is this: we serve a colossal God. And He is so much greater and deserves way more credit for the things in your life He has done outside of the moment you became a son or daughter. I challenge you to consider your testimony as fluid, continuously changing and taking different shapes. I hope you see that your identity is not found in what happened to you but rather what He continues to do in you. And I pray that you, brothers and sisters, understand to your core that Jesus wants more for you to share than just a “moment” where you decided you needed Him. Your testimony is meant to point at Him, and what He is doing, and not you and what happened to you. Jesus is with you every moment, of every hour, of every day, and His greatness in your life is the greatest testimony ever known!