Marriage is an institution ordained and ordered by God.1 It is the only institution that was established before sin came into the world. Almost every marriage starts out as a huge celebration. Together with their family and friends, each couple is full of hopes and dreams for their future life together. But the road to a happy marriage is far from easy. And as today’s divorce statistics demonstrate all too well, many couples opt not to complete the journey. It would be easy to blame our high rate of marital failure on things like not spending enough quality time together, allowing bitterness and resentment to build in our hearts and failing to keep communication lines open. There’s no end to books, articles and seminars that tell you how to improve these and many other aspects of your relationship. But while quality time, forgiveness and communication are vitally important to creating a happy marriage, if such things aren’t happening, it’s usually a sign of a much deeper problem. And until this problem is addressed, no amount of external behavior modification will work. To get a hint of what this deeper issue might be, let’s take a look at the following Scripture passage: One of them, an expert in the law, tested him [Jesus] with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:35-40) I believe that virtually every marital problem can be traced back to one or both partners failing to abide by these two laws. The same is true of any relationship. The minute we begin to focus on our own wants and needs over those of God or our partner; we’re destined for trouble. Experiencing communication problems in your marriage? How often do you really focus on listening to what your partner (or God) has to say instead of insisting on more airtime? Feeling bitterness and resentment growing toward your partner? When was the last time you brought him or her before the Lord in prayer and truly thanked God for your relationship? Struggling to find quality time together? How about praying with your partner and asking God how he would like you to use your time? As you begin to do these things, you’ll notice that your focus automatically starts to shift away from you and your desires and over to God and your partner. As a result, communication problems begin to improve, anger and resentment fade away and you naturally want to spend more time together. Of course, you can’t expect such changes to happen overnight. Your relationship is also bound to face financial pressures, childrearing issues and other problems that are beyond your control. But if you commit your relationship to God and make a conscious decision each day to put God and your partner first, your marriage will be able to weather any storm. Not only that; you’ll also have plenty of fun together along the way! by Kevin Miller
Have you struggled to find happiness in your marriage? Perhaps it’s time you and your spouse invited God to direct your relationship. If you would like to do so, we encourage you to pray the following:
“Dear God, thank you so much for bringing us together as a couple. We know that you have a plan and a purpose for our marriage, and we invite you, Lord Jesus, to forgive the past self-centeredness, and come into our lives and relationship. Direct our steps from now on. Please give us the grace to put You and each other first every day. Make our relationship a blessing to others. But most of all; make it a blessing to You. Amen.” Men To a man of fornication, all bread is sweet; he will not tire of transgression, to the very end. Every man who transgresses his own bed has contempt for his own soul. And so he says: "Who can see me? This man will be punished in the streets of the city, and he will be chased like a young horse. And in a place that he does not suspect, he will be captured. And because he did not understand the fear of the Lord, he will be in disgrace before all men,(sirach23:24-25,30-31) Woman as will be every woman, too, who abandons her husband and establishes an inheritance by marriage to another man. For first, she was unbelieving of the law of the Most High. Second, she offended against her husband. Third, she fornicated by adultery, and so established her children by another man. This woman will be led into the assembly, and she will be stared at by her children. Her children will not take root, and her branches will not produce fruit. She will leave behind her memory as a curse, and her infamy will not be wiped away.(sirach23:32-36) Word of mouth The mouth is used for speaking and what comes out of the mouth can motivate, inspire, discourage or evil kill. If you really want to grow in your spirituality, you must really watch what you say, when you say it and where you say it. Speak positively always, you will help heal our wounded world and you will also help wounded hearts to find the healing balm they need. Use your word today to make someone feel strong to go the extra mile in achieving more good for our world. Do not just speak because you feel like speaking, try and check what your words will give,(life or death) before you utter them Lack of Self Improvement (Nelson) Some good women don’t improve themselves. The message of being a ‘virtuous woman’ has robbed some good woman of intelligence. They have specific topics they talk about and respond to. When you go to a gathering of some good women, you will hardly find them discussing highly intellectual stuff. Engage some of them in discussions on politics, finance, business, and you will find that they are mostly ignorant in some of these areas. But when it comes to discussions on how to be consistent in your prayer and word life, or becoming a virtuous woman, they are good. No man wants a dull lady in his life. Everyman man want a friend not a wife.
Secondly, some good women fall to package themselves once they are married, they begin to live there 70s at the age of 30s. Saying am a married woman In a bid to be "spiritual", some good girls lose their femininity. It is good to engage in spiritual activities to grow in God, but when those activities begin to take away the feminine touch from a lady, and makes her look like a man, it is not good. No man wants to marry another man. Even a Pastor wants a lady with her femininity alive; nice makeup, good shape, sweet smell, nice hairdo, cool dress sense, etc. Don't you see their wives? Some good girls fail to keep their femininity alive. They’ve been deceived by the "character is all that matters" saying, which is not entirely true. In most cases it is beauty first before character. No matter how it is re-echoed that people should not judge books by their cover that is the exact thing that happens. Books will always be judged by their covers.