The Chicago Maroon

MAY 31, 2016

THE INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE UNIVERSITY OF CHICAGO SINCE 1892

History Drops B.A. Requirement

BY ISAAC STEIN SENIOR NEWS REPORTER

At present, history is one of a handful of academic departments that require undergraduates to write a B.A. thesis. In conjunction with an upcoming overhaul of the Department’s course offerings, history will soon be leaving the cadre.

According to the College and Emilio Kourí, chair of the Depa r tment of Histor y and professor of history and romance languages and literatures, faculty present at the histor y depa r tment ’s annual year-end meeting on May 23 unanimously voted to end the thesis requirement for the 2017–18 academic year. It will be replaced by a “two-track system,” in which writing a thesis is optional but remains a criterion for departmental honors. He said that the policy shift is intended to increase the number of history majors.

Currently, the 147 enrolled History majors represent 2.62 percent of undergraduates.

“What we decided to do was to try to interest other students, who, for various reasons, while they’re very interested in history and take many of our courses, do not major in history—in part, it seems at least, because the thesis requirement is beyond what they feel they can do, for reasons of time or other commitments,” Kour í said.

He added that the history department needs the upcoming academic year to figure out the logistics of the new graduation requirements—including when and how students in the major would be tracked into thesis writing, as well as the type of “culminating experience” that would likely serve as an alternate requirement for non-thesis students. In the meantime, he said, the major “remains completely unchanged.” Current third-years are required to finish their theses; the change will likely affect current second-years.

Kourí also characterized the shi ft in g raduation requirements as a way to draw

in students who are not interested in becoming professional historians, as a response to the needs of an undergraduate student body that continues to grow, and as part of a developing curricular overhaul in the undergraduate history program.

The broad change, he said, is “a series of new courses that also showcase [a diversity of University of Chicago News Office faculty expertise] better as A rendering of the David M. Rubenstein Forum, to be located at the a way for students to engage southeast corner of Woodlawn Avenue and 60th Street. their interests, and to engage in today’s world...and aims to recognize that more of our energies and more of our efforts ought to be going to the teaching of undergraduates.”

While the courses in quesBY GREG ROSS Line. DS+R was also a finalist tion have not yet been develMAROON CONTRIBUTOR to design the Obama Presidenoped, he added that he thinks tial Center. doing so is particularly importT he Un iver sit y h a s r e A wide two-story base will ant, as history is one of the last leased renderings of the Da- be topped by a tower of stacked, bastions of “deep knowledge.” vid M. Rubenstein Forum, the boxy sections. The modular “Historians are people who 11-story conference and events structure will be capped by a have made deep, lifelong com- center to be built on the south- cantilevered top floor. mitments to a place, a topic, to east corner of East 60th Street “We composed the tower as ‘deep knowledge,’ I think is the and South Woodlawn Avenue. a stack of ‘neighborhoods’ with old-fashioned way of calling it.

The building was designed meeting and communal spaces I think that we represent a big by Diller Scofidio + Renfro of all sizes—both formal and space in the University where (DS+R), the architecture firm informal, calm and animated, that is maintained, and that is behind New York City’s High Continued on page 2 cherished,” he said.

He added his belief that long-run changes in how other disciplines are taught means that it is particularly important for the history department to maximize its accessibility to undergraduates.

“Sociology has gone a cerBY EMILY FEIGENBAUM but I’d gotten really involved tain direction, anthropology, SENIOR NEWS REPORTER with the University Communiin particular, has gone in a ty Service Center (UCSC).... I very particular direction, poChicago Maroon (CM ): came from rural North Carolilitical science in several direc- How does the Student Govern- na, [and had] never really been tions, [and] economics at the ment (SG) you first came to in a city before. I’d never even University of Chicago is very know compare to that which been to Chicago before I came abstract. I’m not trying to de- you are leaving behind? to move into UChicago; that value any of those things at Tyler Kissinger (TK): I was my first experience. all, I’m just trying to suggest mean, I think people are aware I did a lot of programs like that if you want to learn about that it exists. When I first ran Chicago Bound, Seeds of Jusplace, if you want to learn for Student Government, which tice, and then Summer Links about time…. Fifty years ago, was the end of my first year, I at the UCSC. That got me reyou could have done that in a actually ran as a write-in can- ally interested in the way that different way in some of these didate —I don’t know if you the school interfaces with comother departments. Now, not know this but if you know this munity and…being someone exclusively, but increasingly, let me know and I can skim by from a rural area that had no history is the place where that this—I didn’t come to school idea how cities work, that was happens. So in a way we feel thinking I’d be involved in Stu- my initial entryway to the Unimore responsible than we did dent Government. I wasn’t in versity of Chicago community. before for making sure that the high school.

And so spring of my first value of that gets communicatI wasn’t really that inter- year, I met this guy, Michael ed more broadly.” ested in being publicly political, Continued on page 2

University Releases New Rubenstein Forum Design

Uncommon Interview: Outgoing SG President Tyler Kissinger

UChicago Clothesline Project Gives Voice to the Unheard

A Year in Review: The Maroons of 2015-2016

Page 6

Page 8

“We see the value in art as a form of healing, expression, and community building,” Keisler said.

A Call for Cliteracy Page 5

This year has been full of excitement for Chicago athletics.

CSO Serves Up Program to Satisfy All Palates Page 6

American sex education ignores sexuality and pleasure, making way for the “orgasm gap.”

Which of the two was the main course, however, depends on who you ask.

VOL. 127, ISSUE 52

University Admits Record Low 7.9 Percent to Class of 2020

BY PEYTON ALIE ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR

A record 7.9 percent of applicants were admitted to the Class of 2020, a decline from last year’s admission rate of 8.4 percent.

This record low is consistent with years of declining admission rates, starting from 40.3 percent in 2005. Since 2011, when 16 percent of applicants were admitted, this rate has been more than halved.

Since 2009, the year the College began accepting the Common Application, the admission rate has decreased by 71.8 percent.

This year, 31,411 students applied to the College’s Class of 2020, the largest applicant pool in the College’s history, and of them 2,482 were admitted, an increase in both number of applicants and selectivity. There was a 4 percent increase in applications from last year. Since 2005, in which the College received 9,042 applications, there has been a 247.4 percent increase in applications.

“The factors that likely affected this year’s rise in applications include expanded financial aid and career development through No Barriers, and new academic opportunities such as the new major in molecular engineering,” Deputy Dean of Admissions Peter Wilson said.

Additionally, 12,015 students, 38.3 percent of total applicants, applied Early Action, a 217 percent increase from 2009.

The yield rate, which measures the number of students who accept their offers of admission, for the Class of 2020 was 66 percent, up from 61 percent last year and marking a 30 point increase from the yield rate for the Class of 2013.

Like University of Chicago, many other colleges reported a decrease in admission rates this year. Stanford (4.69 percent), Harvard (5.20 percent), Columbia (6.04 percent), Yale (6.27 percent), Princeton (6.46 percent), and M.I.T. (7.81 percent) all reported lower admission rates than UChicago, and admission rates to all six colleges declined.

Contributing to The Ma roon

If you want to get involved in The M aroon in any way, please email apply@chicagomaroon.com or visit chicagomaroon.com/apply.

Excerpts from articles and comments published in T he Chicago Maroon may be duplicated and redistributed in other media and non-commercial publications without the prior consent of The Chicago Maroon so long as the redistributed article is not altered from the original without the consent of the Editorial Team. Commercial republication of material in The Chicago Maroon is prohibited without the consent of the Editorial Team or, in the case of reader comments, the author.

All rights reserved. © The Chicago Maroon 2016

2

THE CHICAGO MAROON - MAY 31, 2016

Law Students Seek Clemency for Veterans Who Murdered Civilians

BY JAMIE EHRLICH MAROON CONTRIBUTOR

Seven law students and a professor are working to lessen the sentences of combat veterans convicted of killing civilians overseas in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Mark Heyrman, clinical professor at the Law School, ran the Mental Health Advocacy Clinic, which now includes the Combat Clemency Project, at the Law School for 35 years, representing clients with mental illness. When approached by one of the veterans’ lawyers this past October with the opportunity for his students to represent several combat veterans with mental health issues, Heyrman and seven student volunteers got to work.

“One of the messages that cuts across all seven clients,” said third-year law student Michael Lockman, “is shared responsibility and institutional responsibility….

You can’t prevent any kind of loss of civilian life by punishing individuals. There

has to be a systemic solution.”

Shortly after the seven cases were assigned to students, they traveled individually to interview and conduct psychiatric evaluations of their clients, six of whom were at Fort Leavenworth, KS. Their travel was paid in part by United American Patriots, a conservative organization led

by Herbert Donahue. The group argues that troops are sometimes held to unfair standards by their senior officers.

“I didn’t think much of it when they first called me because they are just a bunch of damn liberals,” Donahue told The New York Times. “But I have to commend the students, they have gone above and beyond.”

Lockman’s client is Robert Bales, a former United States Army soldier who killed 16 Afghan civilians in 2012. In 2013, Bales pleaded guilty for 16 counts of murder as well as six counts of assault and attempted murder and was sentenced to life in prison without parole. Prior to commit-

ting his crime, the Army determined that Bales had sustained a traumatic brain injury and had post-traumatic stress disorder. However, he was deployed to Afghanistan, where his symptoms worsened and where he would later commit his crime.

Lockman filed a 60-page clemency report on Bales’ behalf, asking to lessen his sentence to 100 years. Clemency reports serve to identify prisoners who deserve shorter sentences. In this scenario, Bales would be eligible for parole in 2023.

The petitions were submitted to the President, the Secretary of the Army, and the Pardon Attorney at the Department of Justice. Heyrman estimates that right now, there are about 10,000 clemency petitions submitted for the President to review.

“We are trying to get the President’s attention on our seven cases,” Heyrman said. “The problem is that the President has no obligation to act on a clemency brief.”

The Clemency Project has gotten coverage in The New York Times as well as various other news outlets. They have additionally started an online petition and had legislators call attention to their clients.

Heyrman is unsure whether the Combat Clemency Project at the Law School will continue next year and has made no decisions on whether or not they will take on any new cases. Six of the seven student volunteers are graduating, and they no longer have obligations to their clients.

“I think what my students and I came to understand is that [the United States] undertook two wars and [we] don’t have an active draft,” Heyrman said. “We needed lots of soldiers, and [the country] could not afford to be careful if those soldiers were mentally, physically, socially able to be in these kinds of tough situations…it would be helpful for Americans to think that we are going to have more combat-related crimes unless we do a better job.”

The Building’s Two-Story Base Will Be Topped By a Tower of Stacked, Boxy Sections Continued from front

focused and diffuse,” architect Elizabeth Diller said in a press release. “The building prompts its varied populations to cross paths with one another where possible to enhance intellectual exchange.”

The variety of spaces offered by the Rubenstein Forum will help remedy the lack of campus venues for conferences and large events, Executive Vice President of the University David Fithian said.

“Too often events hosted by the University are held in other parts of Chicago, and our guests are denied the opportunity to experience the intellectually

dynamic and beautiful campus that we have in Hyde Park,” Fithian said.

A multipurpose space that can accommodate 600 people will be located in the building’s base. Architectural plans also show a ground-floor restaurant lining the building’s northern face.

Above the base, a 285-seat auditorium will jut out over the building’s northern entrance, offering views of Rockefeller Chapel. The remainder of the tower will consist of a mix of meeting rooms and more versatile, informal spaces. The cantilevered top f loor—a space for symposiums, receptions, and other gatherings— opens to the East, providing lake views.

The gray- and copper-toned building will rise 165 feet above the Midway. To compare, the Logan Center is 170 feet tall.

Over the last several weeks, demolition crews have razed the Mott Building, a mid-century office building that stood on the future site of the Rubenstein Forum. The new structure will take up the block’s northwestern portion, and landscaped grounds will lie to the building’s south. Site plans leave room for a future academic building on the eastern side of the lot.

The project was unveiled last Thursday evening at a community meeting.

The University also presented its plans

for the transformation of New Graduate Residence Hall into the Keller Center— the future home of the Harris School of Public Policy—as well as a new building for its Woodlawn charter school on East 63rd Street and South Greenwood Avenue.

The Rubenstein Forum will round out the trio of Campus South projects.

Un iversity spokesperson Ca lmetta Coleman said the Rubenstein Forum’s construction start date and is still an unknown time of completion, although previous reports stated that the University aims to break ground in 2016 with completion in 2018. The cost of the project was not made public.

“It’s important that students be involved in the formulation of policy at every step of the process.”

Continued from front

McCown, who ended up running this kind of activist-y campaign for SG the end of my first year. And I was like, wow, that’s pretty neat, but I still didn’t really think of it as something I’d be interested in being involved in until all of the candidates were announced. I wasn’t particularly happy with the one person who was running unopposed for the community and government liaison position, based on all these experiences I’d had, based on my interest in us getting a UPass, based on a few other things, and so I decided to run as a write-in then.

And then I’m sure you can look at the old M aroon articles…being disqualified through a recording. It’s like a consistent theme for some reason, people just want to make recordings and it’s not a good idea ever…. And so then I ended up winning, I ended up winning with 500 write-in votes, which was like, I definitely didn’t know 500 people at that time.

A nd I think when I look back at how SG was during that first year of involvement, again, under a different Slate when I was community and government liaison, I don’t think it was an active presence on campus. I don’t think people heard about what it was doing. I don’t think the leadership at the time really had a sense of what the possibility of it was. Even when I ran for president the first time I don’t

think I even appreciated the possibili- incidents of racial bias on campus, the ties then. I was with Arlin [Hill] and confederate flag, and then there was a Aseal [Tineh] running against Moose, pretty big incident in the fall with Haland I don’t think people felt the stakes… loween costumes that I think really iniof the institution until we actually did a tiated a lot of conversation about race fair bit with it the following year after on campus. I think that was the first we won. time that we started really working on I think what makes me excited is I being visible and talking about issues see year-to-year participation in elec- more visibly. tions is increasing a lot. This past cycle, But again I don’t think that we had the most people voted ever…in SG elec- a strong sense of what was possible tions, at least going back to the ’90s… in the roles until we actually started and so I think people are imagining it seeing things happen, until we were as a vehicle by which they can actually able to work with RSOs on campus and change the conditions of students and work with groups that had a stake in increasingly the community…. That the campus climate report happening, conception didn’t exist my first year and then getting the University to comwhen I talked to folks who were on mit to doing two of them, the sexual campus before me, that didn’t exist for misconduct and the catch-all one —I them, and I think that’s what’s exciting don’t even know what they call it but about it. the broader campus climate survey…

CM: How does last year’s Slate com- or until UPass happened, or until we pare to that from this year? worked on reformulating our stipends TK: I think all three of us last year proposal into what evolved into SLRA didn’t quite have a sense of the possi- [Student Leadership Recognition and bilities of what we could do. And I think Access Program]. when you look at the way in which we I think that was very much a learnwent about doing that work is a bit like ing year, both for myself and for Arlin searching around in the dark. We didn’t [Hill] and Aseal [ Tineh]. They both really know what it was that we could graduated. Kenzo [Esquivel] and Alex do, because we didn’t really have strong [Jung] were both involved in the comexamples of predecessors who were very munity that year as well through differactive and very visible on campus. ent roles, and so I think all of us were A lot happened that year that gave able to learn through that experience us the opportunity to be visible. So this and incorporate a lot of those lessons was coming after Politically Incorrect into the work that we did this year, and Maroon Confessions, there were a lot of that was beneficial.

I think the short way of saying that is that we’ve started to develop institutional memory. It used to be kind of a clean slate in and out every year, and that’s not to say that SG experience is necessary to be successful in SG, especially SG leadership, but also an understanding of what the possibilities are is important, and I don’t think that existed before. And so I think that’s the primary thing that’s changed.

CM: In retrospect, are there any projects pursued during your administration that you wish you could have improved?

TK: [laughs] Probably all of them.

I think this is relevant because it’s an ongoing conversation right now, but stipends, which if you noticed we moved away from using the language “stipends.” That’s not a political thing, it’s that the legal association that stipends have carries a very particular meaning for the University. What it does is attach it to a certain dispersal process that relies on certain tax documents that undocumented students don’t have, so there’s a different dispersal process that doesn’t do that...I think [the stipends program proposed in 2014]—and I know not everyone would agree with this—was well-intentioned from the beginning, but it wasn’t ever well-messaged….

What we sought to address with the program was that the work that StuContinued on page 3

3

THE CHICAGO MAROON - MAY 31, 2016

“[The University’s] definitely gotten better at...getting more first generation and low income students to campus. But it’s obvious to me that there’s still room to grow.”

Continued from page 2

dent Government does is not more important than other RSOs, it’s not more important than the work that student leaders do across campus, but it’s also integral to allowing RSOs to do the work that they do. If leaders in SG aren’t able to dedicate the time that they need to effectively allocate funds, oversee IT resources, that has consequences that impact the student body. And in theory we also want students of all backgrounds to get access to those roles.

But obviously that is not the understanding that has permeated campus.

And so I think the lesson that I learned from that was that it’s important that students be involved in the formulation of policy at every step of the process, I think we’ve worked on doing that better since then, and it’s also important to be open and transparent about what policy aims are, and I don’t think that was clear from the beginning. When we were initially seeking to fill the roles of director of communications, director of finances…by the way, you receive some sort of compensation to not entirely but somewhat account for the amount of hours that you’d be putting into this role. That doesn’t explain why that’s important, that doesn’t explain why that’s necessary, but I think when you walk someone through that it becomes more clear.

CM: What are some specific examples of some scenarios where Student Government went to the administration with a problem and was basically delivered the message that the administration did not want students to be as involved as they are or as they intend to be?

TK: So the one that is freshest on my mind is the IRC [the Independent R ev iew Committee, which rev iews complaints made against the UCPD].

At the beginning of this year, we were informed that the provost had changed their policy on appointment of the IRC, that whereas traditionally the Student Government had appointed seats directly, now CSL would be soliciting applications on behalf of the provost’s office making selections for student representation on the committee.

It totally wrote out the role of students in selecting their representation on the board that reviews complaints against the UCPD, and we exchanged I don’t even know how many dozens of e-mails with CSL with staff in the provost’s office, we went back and found documentation on how traditionally policy was that Student Government would appoint to the committee, and ultimately we were just ignored. I was told that I could have a meeting with someone in the provost’s office in a month and a half, I sent information to the CSL, I handed them a piece of paper, a paper copy of the information that we had found in our archives, and it just went nowhere.

And I think, just a few other examples. The University is taking a really aggressive stance against unionization of graduate students. It’s doing this amidst, in the context of its own commitment to not taking political stances, to open discourse, and I don’t think those reconcile and I don’t think that reconciles with giving the graduate student body the ability to freely make decisions without pressure, without threats or influence. When I think about decisions regarding health care, the University’s health care policy, decisions regarding the money that the University invests in student health care and student counseling services are made by administrators who at the end of the day don’t ever actually consult students.

One striking example that I’m reminded of is during my first year, I was invited to sit on Karen Warren-Coleman’s “Vice President’s Advisory Council on Diversity and Inclusion.” It was started after some incident of racial tension on campus, I think there was a confederate flag hung at a fraternity that was facing [the Office of Multicultural Student Affairs], and I wrote a kind of scathing article [“Institutionalizing Input”, October 15, 2013] in T he M a roon about the way in which there exist, from dining, housing, health and disability and more, all of these advisory boards that at the end of the day don’t ever actually have any decision-making power but get leaned on just as this Council of Diversity and Inclusion was. In moments of crisis in the University [these advisory boards] are held up as an example of how students are involved in decision-making but don’t actually do any of that decision-making.

And I wrote an article about this in T he M a roon last year and was told that I shouldn’t have done that, by an administrator, because it would mean that...it would make administrators not want to work with me, if I were critical of the way by which they made decisions publicly. And I think this is maybe, getting way back to your original question, but I think for too long I almost internalized that.

I, in playing this sort of inside game, wasn’t as publicly vocal and publicly critical about the way in which this university made decisions, and should have been much more frequently. Which maybe sounds silly from the progressive slate, but I think there are and continue to be opportunities to do that more that I’m excited about for the future.

A nd because there will be partners in faculty and campus staff who have those same issues about investment and academic resources or investment in basic campus life resources, like dining, that those critiques will be shared and I think much more powerful in the future.

CM: What’s next for Tyler Kissinger?

Jamie Manley Arlin Hill (A.B. ’15) (left), Aseal Tineh (A.B. ’15) (middle), and Outgoing SG President Tyler Kissinger (right), cut the cake to celebrate their election to Student Government in Spring of 2014 in C-Shop.

What are your plans for after graduation?

TK: Um…TBD. I’m applying to jobs right now, getting some interviews. Being at this school has been a really interesting experience.

So I grew up—I’ll tell you my life story—in a pretty rural part of North Carolina, like a rural suburb. Neither of my parents went to college. I was never even particularly expected to go to college by them but they were excited that I wanted to, generally supported me in making that happen, and….

So my mom was a stay-at-home mom most of my life, and my dad worked in construction. A fter the recession, he essentially lost his job and my mom had to go to work and eventually started working in food service, for Aramark of all companies, and so she ended up working part-time in a public school cafeteria, part-time at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem for Aramark. And she’s making minimum wage in both jobs, working ungodly hours, and she ended up getting breast cancer while working.

She beat it and still had to keep working while she was receiving treatment because of how much debt my family was in because we were in between moving into a new house and trying to sell an old one, right in the midst of the housing crisis. Then having to deal with medical debt and the costs—I have two younger brothers—of raising three

kids. So all that’s to say I never really expected to end up at a school like UChicago, and I don’t know that UChicago always expected a student like me to end up here either.

It’s been exciting to see the way in which some aspects that the school has grown during my four years here. It’s definitely gotten better at supporting… at least getting more first-generation and low-income students to campus. But it’s obvious to me that there’s still room to grow. And again, this is a super long answer to a pretty short question, but I think those experiences are what grounded a lot of my work in Student Government and on campus in trying to make this school, in partnership with a lot of people and a lot of organizations, a better place for its students, a better place for faculty, a better place for anyone who calls the University of Chicago, or Hyde Park, or anything it touches, home.

I’m going to be committed to doing that most of my life. I don’t know exactly what I will be doing after, but I know it’ll be centered around those experiences.

I’ll likely be doing organizing work somewhere, probably in the Midwest, hopefully Chicago. My plan right now is to stay living in Hyde Park, but beyond that I’m not really sure.

CM: Do you think you’ll ever run for public office?

TK: [Laughter] Um, I mean I kind of already have. So we’ll see.

4

THE CHICAGO MAROON - MAY 31, 2016

VIEWPOINTS Letter to the Editor: Trauma Care Coalition’s Call for a Community Advisory Board Unanswered We activists can seem impossible to please: We seek a goal—say, a U of C trauma center—and, after years of struggle, the institution gives in. But then we continue to advocate—say, for a U of C Medicine community advisory board—and the process begins again. When will we be satisfied?

But of course, social justice is at once a process and a goal. With the U of C, we’ve achieved a goal—a trauma center—and faster than even many of us in the Trauma Care Coalition foresaw one year ago. But we’re still watching and working on a process. And lately, what we’ve seen has not been promising.

To state the obvious: to remedy injustices like unequal healthcare, we would rather not have to protest. We would rather not have to push for meetings and plan teachins and pray on a street corner week after week for years.

Yes, doing all that has built incredible leadership and allyship among our communities.

But we have yet to see what the U of C has learned from it. Has it learned to value young Black lives? Not only with promises responding to pressure, but with processes to shape its priorities going forward?

That’s why, since January, our Coalition has focused on the U of C Medicine’s talk of a community advisory board.

The U of C might institute a board with little diversity, little access to decision-makers,

and little power. Many South Siders at our recent town hall meeting explicitly feared as much. But if the U of C institutes a board that seats all of our Coalition member organizations, meets regularly with executives and trustees, and addresses concrete decisions, it can work. And we can work with it.

Unfortunately, even that seems to be in question now.

University and Medicine vice presidents t old C oa l ition leaders weeks ago that information about a community advisory board’s composition would be announced at their Urban Health Initiative summit, last Tuesday, May 24.

The U of C invited the Coalition to the summit, and we sent several of our leaders.

An executive director in U of C Medicine confirmed the announcement with Coalition leaders at the event, saying that it would happen at its close. But no announcement was made.

In asking for such a board, are we activists asking for too much? Not if we seek a longterm process by which the U of C Medicine can register with its neighbors’ many other challenges, like chronic illness. Not if we seek partnership over protest. But if the U of C will not even advance such a process—then, inevitably, these struggles will go on.

—Dominic Surya, member of the Trauma Care Coalition and a third-year in the College

Maggie Loughran, Editor-in-Chief Forrest Sill, Editor-in-Chief Annie Cantara, Managing Editor The Maroon Editorial Board consists of the Editors-in-Chief and editors of The Maroon.

NEWS

Tamar Honig, editor Adam Thorp, editor Pete Grieve, deputy editor Emily Kramer, deputy editor Eileen Li, deputy editor Sonia Schlesinger, deputy editor Christine Schmidt, senior news editor VIEWPOINTS

SOCIAL MEDIA

Sarah Manhardt, editor ONLINE

Annie Asai, director of web development Euirim Choi, creative director Vishal Talasani, director of data analysis Juliette Hainline, director of interactive features PHOTO

Cole Martin, editor Kayleigh Voss, editor

Zoe Kaiser, editor

ARTS

Stacey Reimann, editor

Hannah Edgar, editor Grace Hauck, editor Miriam Benjamin, deputy editor MJ Chen, deputy editor SPORTS

Katie Anderson, editor Zachary Themer, editor GREY CITY

Natalie Friedberg, Editor-in-Chief DESIGN

VIDEO

BUSINESS

Patrick Quinn, chief financial officer Jeanne Marie Fishkin, director of development Anjing Fu, director of marketing Sandra Lukac, director of marketing Ben Lanier, director of operations Audrey Mang, director of strategy Regina Filomeno, business manager Harry Backlund, distributor

Stephanie Liu, head designer COPY

Sophie Downes, head editor Morganne Ramsey, head editor Erica Sun, head editor Michelle Zhao, head editor THIS ISSUE

Copy: Shannon Bull, Fritz Hofmann, Patrick Lou Design: Associates: Liz Xiong, Julia Xu

Editor-in-Chief E-mail: Editor@ChicagoMaroon.com Newsroom Phone: (773) 702-1403 Business Phone: (773) 702-9555 Fax: (773) 702-3032 For advertising inquiries, please contact Ads@ChicagoMaroon.com or (773) 702-9555.

Circulation: 5,500. © 2016 The Chicago Maroon Ida Noyes Hall / 1212 East 59th Street / Chicago, IL 60637

Letter to the Editor: Student Loan Payment System Charges Unfair Fees; Administration Should Consider a Change I want to make a request directly to the University of Chicago administration regarding its current student loans payment system, and in particular its use of www.mycampusloan.com. As a former student with my fair share of student loans, I have no qualms about the burden of paying off the loans that I agreed to. However, I find this service absolutely substandard and ridiculous for an institution like the University of Chicago.

My issue is with the service fee for using a debit or credit card to pay your student loans. To be fair, one cannot expect too much of a website whose layout appears to have been created in the late ’90s, but using a third-party

service that charges a 4.5 percent convenience fee for any card payment is unjustifiable. For students like myself who prefer to make larger payments when a work bonus or tax return comes along, a payment of $1,000 becomes an additional $40 in the website’s pocket. Although students can avoid this fee by setting up recurring payments, which still entail a $0.99 fee, or by sending checks in the mail, the issue remains that the convenience of card payments is being exploited by this third-party organization.

Clearly $40 isn’t much in the grand scheme of things, and setting up an account to draw money directly from your bank account does have a reasonable conve-

nience fee. However, given its $7 billion endowment, and a cost of education among the highest in the nation, perhaps the University could do its alumni a favor and find a student loan service that isn’t ripping off its former students. I made a financial commitment to the University of Chicago that I am happy to uphold, but for the sake of future students, the administration should take a few days to find a different student loans suitor, such as Great Lakes, who doesn’t charge these convenience fees.

—Ian Hartitz, A.B. ’15

Don’t Say Goodbye Just Yet Shutting Down Greek Life Will Only Push It Farther Into the Shadows

Jasmine Wu Sexual assault, racism, misogyny: these are only a few of the many issues that plague Greek life. Fraternities and sororities alike have come under fire for perpetuating spaces that cultivate such repellent values.

According to Harvard’s Dean of the College, the “unrecognized single-gender social organizations have lagged behind in ways that are untenable in the 21st century.” Undergraduate members from Harvard’s Class of 2021 in these single-gender social organizations are to be banned from holding athletic team captaincies and leadership positions in all recognized student groups.

Similarly—though to a lesser degree—the University of Chicago has distanced itself from Greek organizations. Greek organizations cannot apply for Student Government Finance Committee and Annual Allocations funding. They must apply to the Student Engagement Fund to book, at a maximum, 10 rooms per quarter. In addition to this restriction, some on campus have painted the Greek community as a “sinking ship” that in no way offers benefits for its members but rather cultivates racism, sexual assault, and misogyny. They suggest that these organizations should be disbanded.

Where, in this anti–Greek life discourse, are the voices of minorities, women, or people who have been targets of sexual assault and racism?

The statistics and facts aimed against Greek life only consider fraternities. They mention that 86 percent of fraternity house residents were regular

binge drinkers, as opposed to 45 percent of non-fraternity men.

They say that fraternity brothers are three times more likely to commit sexual assault than unaffiliated men. They bring up incidents of sexual assault and racism, yet all of these have originated from fraternities—not sororities, which are suffering under the restrictions put into place.

It is often forgotten that victims of sexual assault in fraternities have often been women who belong to sororities. It is often ignored that sororities are a support system for countless women who have been victims of sexual assault. How ironic that a movement which is supposedly trying to serve the best interests of campus in fighting sexism and racism is dismissing the very voices that need most to be heard.

Sororities are the groups initiating conversations with fraternities to address and reform their policies against breeding sexual assault, racism, and misogyny. They have been at the forefront of the issue by hosting workshops with various frats to discuss sexual violence prevention, bystander training, and rape culture. An Alpha Omicron Pi (AOII) member, in collaboration with a brother from Alpha Epsilon Pi (AEPi), created Greek Life in Front, a formal and active policy detailing the conduct expected of all brothers in fraternities. Sororities have fueled a dialogue, one that acknowledges the imperfect system in which we abide in order to actively change it. Why is the University punishing the one group that has a chance to fight the patriarchal

system from the inside?

By limiting fraternity and sorority room bookings to 10 rooms per quarter, the University is not disrupting the fraternities, which have their own houses, but rather the sororities, which depend upon the resources the campus provides.

I joined my sorority, Alpha Omicron Pi, to be surrounded by the diversity, passion, and ambition that the girls I’ve been grateful to be sisters with all uphold. AOII itself was founded in 1985 when the University first allowed women’s organizations to be on campus. It was founded as a feminist organization for women, in the early days of coeducation, to band together inside often hostile institutions.

When women hold only 14.3 percent of executive officer positions in Fortune 500 companies, AOII is a support network for women to break out of a system that not only ignores women, but also devalues them and their potential. Regardless of class, ethnicity, or religion, a sorority stands to help a group of women strive for excellence, promote integrity, and act philanthropically. Contrary to anti–Greek life opinion, being in a sorority is a responsibility rather than a blank check for a vibrant social life. Disbanding sororities means removing the support network for countless women who have been victims of sexual assault under the guise of helping them. It means taking away the one organization that can fight within the system and so instead perpetuating the power imbalance that a paternalistic perspective has provided.

My and other women’s voices have been suppressed under the anti-Greek viewpoint that claims to not be paternalistic, yet still claims to know what is Continued on page 5

5

THE CHICAGO MAROON - MAY 31, 2016

A Call for Cliteracy American Sex Education Ignores Sexuality and Pleasure, Making Way for the “Orgasm Gap”

BY EMMA PRESTON MAROON CONTRIBUTOR

My entire experience with sexual education occurred in a single afternoon. My best friend and I sat in the back of our sixth grade classroom, stifling 12-yearold giggles as a video played on a clunky TV atop a rolling cart.

The film was supposed to illustrate the sterile terms we’d heard our guidance counselor mutter uncomfortably: “Puberty,” “Periods,” and, my personal favorite, “Our Changing Bodies.” To this day, I remember only the way the scenes were spliced. Clips of lacy-bra-clad young women in locker rooms were interrupted by diagrams labeled with other capital-letter terms: “Fallopian Tubes,” “Ovaries.”

High school sexual education isn’t mandated in Iowa (or in the majority of U.S. states), so as my classmates and I matured, all we had to draw upon was that warm afternoon in Mrs. Ryan’s classroom. There was an optional health class, which gave students the token experience of putting condoms on bananas, but few people took it. We were certainly never taught about the range of sexualities and genders. Instead, we were left to learn about Our Changing Bodies and our developing sexualities elsewhere.

Unfortunately, this often resulted in not learning about them.

I don’t actually remember having the “sex talk” with my family, and I’m not alone in this; fewer than half of U.S. teenagers have broached the subject with their

parents. And when conversations do occur, they run parallel to sex ed curricula, tending toward discussions about contraception and STIs. In the meantime, the topic of sexual pleasure remains wholly unaddressed, both inside and outside the classroom.

To me, this illustrates a huge point of irony, specifically regarding female sexuality in a heterosexual context. In the U.S., we aggressively sexualize women— in movies, in advertisements, and even on the streets of our cities— but we do so without educating young adults about biological female anatomy and pleasure.

Our society asserts a woman’s sexuality upon her but condemns her curiosity, only allowing her to use a hand mirror if she’s made sure to lock the door. By failing to institutionalize conversations about sexual satisfaction, we not only ignore the female capacity for and entitlement to enjoyable sex, but also implicitly impede it.

The fact remains that only 25 percent of women are able to regularly climax from penetrative sex, but I’ve found myself explaining the differences between vaginal and clitoral orgasms to many of my male friends. I was hardly surprised, therefore, when I stumbled upon a Men’s Health article, entitled “Five Things You Didn’t Know About Her Vagina,” which preceded its slide-show with a descriptive blurb providing insight to its readers: “Your penis is simple: It only has a few functions, and it tells you everything you need to know about it in one glance. The vagina, on the other

Wei Yi Ow

hand, is a mysterious thing—an elaborate, multifaceted tool that still confounds men.”

At the time, I laughed. This is just simply untrue; one needs only to Google the infamous scene from Orange is the New Black, wherein a prisoner diagrams the vulva for her cellmates, to grasp a pretty thorough understanding of its anatomy. But the issue is actually more serious. We shouldn’t have to turn to popular culture in order to understand our own bodies. The vulva is not overly intricate, and portraying it as such allows the “orgasm gap” to persist.

Of course, it’s important to note that orgasm doesn’t have to be the end-all be-all measure for sexual satisfaction. But it’s also essential to understand that the idea that female orgasms are less attainable is a total myth.

On average, it takes women the same amount of time to orgasm through masturbation as it takes men to orgasm through penetra-

tive sex: four minutes. And yet, according to data collected by NYU sociologist Paula England, men are still twice as likely to orgasm in the context of a casual, heterosexual hookup.

On college campuses, in a country where hookup culture is so pervasive, it’s frustrating to watch young women around me internalize a belief that something is wrong with their bodies due to their “inability” to orgasm. In reality, it’s just that there’s no foundational base of knowledge for any gender. As Peggy Orenstein, author of Girls and Sex, writes, “we expect [women] to be able to have… some sense of knowledge…, to have some sense of equality, and it’s just not realistic that that’s going to happen.”

Sex ed is so limited in its current capacity that students are forced to look outside the classroom for information. And in a society tailored toward heteronormative, male-oriented satisfac-

tion, women don’t find the knowledge to which they’re entitled.

They’re left without resources, comprehension, and, ultimately, sexual fulfillment.

But there’s still hope. Where the U.S. is currently failing, the Netherlands has found success.

The country mandates that sexuality education begins as early as kindergarten. Students and teachers have open conversations about the way pleasure factors into intimacy, love, and respect; they encourage parents to talk to their kids openly about enjoyment, and they create a supportive environment wherein all genders can explore their sexualities. The result is not only 80 percent fewer teen pregnancies, but 72 percent of women regularly reaching climax with a partner.

In short? I’ll have what she’s having.

Emma Preston is a second-year in the College majoring in political science.

Offshore Accounts Offshore Fish Farming Lowers Dependence on Imported Seafood, but at What Cost?

BY JACOB ELKIN MAROON CONTRIBUTOR

This past January, the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA), in an attempt to lessen America’s dependence on imported seafood, ruled large-scale offshore fish farming legal. Many see this ruling as beneficial, given both the comparatively high prices of domestic seafood and widespread slave labor within the supply chain. The United States, for instance, currently imports 90 percent of its shrimp. Much of this shrimp is sourced from Thailand, where trafficked human labor is rampant and workers are treated extremely poorly, working long

hours and nearly starving every day. In addition, with disasters like the BP oil spill having such far-reaching effects, wild-caught fish are often contaminated.

American fisheries are also welcoming the move, as these new regulations hold the potential to increase their profits by tens of millions of dollars.

Despite its supposed benefits, fish farming has some serious drawbacks. For example, farmed fish have the potential to contaminate local fish populations, which are already in rapid decline.

NOAA’s new ruling allows for fish to be raised offshore, inside large nets in conditions comparable to factory farms on land. This form of aquaculture produces excessive

waste including uneaten food, feces, and other toxic materials, and often contaminates local habitats. Forcing thousands of fish into crammed, artificial environments provides the perfect breeding ground for disease that travels through both escaped fish and ocean parasites, contributing directly to ocean dead zones. Due to rampant disease in such conditions, drugs are commonly injected into the farms, filling the animals with pollutants that can affect human health.

Besides these issues, current seafood farming practices are unsustainable, especially among carnivorous species like salmon. Salmon feed consists of undesirable wild fish, and the or-

ganization Slow Food estimates that it takes 2.5 to 5 kilograms of fish to produce 1 kilogram of salmon. Many farmed fish are also fed soy, which is problematic not only due to soy’s lack of nutritional value in comparison to a natural diet, but also because the soy production required to sustain aquaculture has contributed to mass deforestation in both the U.S. and Latin America. In South America, export-oriented soy production has severely damaged local economies and often uses slave labor.

Modern aquaculture practices are not only detrimental to the environment, but to both human and animal welfare.

NOAA’s new rules may have

pleased American fisheries, but as consumers we need to be aware of the unseen consequences of a rapidly growing aquaculture industry.

As UChicago Dining Services transitions from Aramark to Bon Appétit, it would do well to reduce its preparation of fish and other animal products. Doing so would directly contribute to the University’s sustainability efforts and work to reduce its contribution to environmentally destructive animal agriculture.

As students, we must ensure the University takes measures to meet our demands for a more sustainable University.

Jacob Elkin is a fourth-year in the College majoring in English.

“Banning single-sex organizations will hurt the progress women have made...”

Continued from page 4

best for us. Banning single-sex organizations will hurt the progress that women have made: we are not part of the problem. We are the menders. Stop equating Greek life with frat life. Stop devaluing the philanthropy and accomplishments of women in sororities. Stop dismissing our voices because I, like everyone

else, am trying to fight sexism and racism. These issues that are so prevalent do not solely spring from Greek life, but rather are representative of the same problems that plague campus. Even if Greek life is a hotbed for these problems, know that a dialogue has been started.

This dialogue, however, cannot be sustained if the University

and others force Greek activities to go underground: spaces that are unregulated and less accessible, and therefore even more dangerous. For change to be started, closeness, not distance, must be created. As Skyler Inman, director of the YCC Task Force on Greek Life for Yale, maintains, “a formalized relationship will not only help maintain a line of

accountability and transparency between Greek organizations and the administration, but it will [also] encourage University policies that allow for proactive management of an inclusive, safe system, rather than reactive responses to crises after they’ve already arisen.” Ownership and responsibility must accompany Greek life on campus at UChi-

cago. Stop blaming the issues of racism and sexism on these organizations when such problems exist outside of Greek life. If a dialogue can be sustained and change created, we won’t be dealing with a sinking ship. Together we can construct a new one.

Jasmine Wu is a first-year in the College majoring in philosophy and economics.

6

THE CHICAGO MAROON - MAY 31, 2016

ARTS UChicago Clothesline Project Gives Voice to the Unheard

BY MAY HUANG ASSOCIATE ARTS EDITOR

Last week, over 200 painted shirts hung on racks in Hutchinson Courtyard, rippling in the wind. Collected over the past four years, the shirts represent UChicago students’ experiences with sexual violence. A board propped up outside the entrance to the installation bore the following trigger warnings: “sexual violence, alcohol, abuse, self-harm.”

The Clothesline Project, which originated in Cape Cod in 1990, has now become a worldwide movement. It first came to UChicago in November 2012. Each year, students submit stories, from a few sentences to full accounts, through an anonymous online survey. From there, students can paint their own shirt or have another artist depict their story (The students who participated could also decide whether or not to include their work in the project).

The words on the shirts last week, along with the stories that accompany them, are harrowing.

“You thought I was worthless. I believed you,” reads one shirt.

Another speaks to the silence that survivors are often forced to live with: “We have a lot of mutual friends but they don’t know.”

A third shirt describes how support systems—from RHs to a therapist at the Student Health center—told a survivor to keep quiet about what happened to her and hide the truth from her parents in case it might upset them. “I had no voice,” reflects the artist.

“This school wants us to be silent, to brush these atrocities under the rug,” said third-year Sydelle Keisler, who has co-directed the UChicago Clothesline Project along with fellow third-year Emiliano Burr since last year. “You see

Emiliano Burr

shirts hanging up that say, ‘This University Failed Me and Covered Up My Assault’... I have heard that story too many times. The visibility of this project is also a way of showing the University that we exist and reminding them that we are human, we are struggling, and we need more institutional support.”

The Clothesline Project aims to give voice to those affected by sexual violence and to raise awareness about an issue that is too often depicted as something shameful.

During the closing ceremony last Thursday night, this project also featured spoken word poetry and dance.

“We see the value in art as a form of healing, expression, and community building,” Keisler said.

“So many of these stories share similar threads, circumstances, or emotions. While trauma can be scary and difficult to talk about, by putting the shirts together, we hope to incite conversations that will bring people together.”

Although the clothesline is only up for a week every year, the project tackles an issue of persistent relevance. Other organizations on campus, such as Phoenix Survivors Alliance (PSA) and Resources for Sexual Violence Prevention (RSVP), also work throughout the

year to raise awareness about sexual violence and give survivors supportive spaces to speak freely about their experiences.

As the Clothesline Project demonstrated, the key word is “survivor.” While most of the shirts and stories on display recount experiences of victimization, the fact that the they are hanging on the clothesline at all is a testament to the possibility of survival.

“I am a human being,” one shirt reads. The Clothesline Project is a timely reminder of this truth, speaking to the combined power of art, courage, and freedom of expression.

The University provides the following resources in the event of sexual assault: Sexual Assault Dean-on-Call: (773) 834–4357 University of Chicago Medicine’s Mitchell Emergency Room: Medical and Counseling Services: (773) 702–6250, 901 East 58th Street Student Counseling Service: (773) 702–9800, 5737 South University Avenue. (SCS Staff Member-on-Call 24-hours) or online at counseling.uchicago.edu University of Chicago Title IX Officer: Sarah Wake, (773) 702– 5671, swake@uchicago.edu

CSO Serves Up Program to Satisfy All Palates

BY HANNAH EDGAR ARTS EDITOR

Every once in awhile, one hears a program that is so tastefully selected, so colorful, and so right that listening to it feels like the artistic equivalent of consuming a well-rounded meal.

So it was with the Chicago Symphony Orchestra’s (CSO) Friday matinee concert, comprised entirely of pieces written in the last century and led by Romanian conductor Cristian Macelaru. The program opened with a festive but lesser-known apéritif by Jacques Ibert, whetting the appetite for the two significant works to follow: Outscape, a newly-commissioned cello concerto by French composer Pascal Dusapin, and Gustav Holst’s beloved The Planets.

Which of the two was the main course, however, depends on who you ask.

As its name would suggest, Ib-

ert’s Bacchanale is an extroverted, romping delight. Unlike bacchanales by Saint-Saëns, Wagner, and Ravel, however, Ibert’s rendition vividly depicts what a modern (that is, mid-twentieth century) bacchanal might sound like, complete with jazzy, Gershwin-esque riffs, bouncy oompah rhythms, and a drunken waltz. As always, the CSO’s brass provided awesome pillars of sound; a bittersweet moment arose when the orchestra peeled away to spotlight a brief solo by brilliant principal trumpet Christopher Martin, who will depart the CSO for the same post with the New York Philharmonic next year.

Co-commissioned by the CSO, Oper Stuttgart, and the BBC Symphony Orchestra, Outscape is the CSO’s only world premiere scheduled for this season. Initially, Dusapin wrote Outscape to depict a desolate, Arctic landscape—an almost unearthly “desert of snow.” Though the composer eventually parted with

this specific vision in favor of an atmospheric abstraction, frigidity still permeates the score, from icy tremolos in the solo cello to registral extremes in orchestration that evoked a vacuum-like emptiness.

Though the piece technically lacks a key, it possesses a tonal center in the form of a single pitch: C-sharp. The cello begins on this C-sharp, and the bass clarinet—its musical partner-in-crime throughout—enters in a call-and-response on the same pitch. Dusapin, who previously eschewed all non-pitched percussion in his compositions, scores for an expanded percussion section, which tentatively punctuates this exchange as the orchestra builds around it. Even as the piece grows more complex, the principle established by these opening bars provides a basis for the rest of the piece. Though the cello may be timbrally at the fore, functionally, its voice serves to extend and support the orchestra. Excepting the sparky

scherzando near the end of the piece—which pointedly highlights the cello’s rapid, sharply-accented sixteenth note runs—Outscape is less concerto than symbiotic relationship between soloist and orchestra. Intriguingly, when the piece does come to a close, it does so not on its C-sharp anchor, but on the B above it, leaving an air of the unfinished in its wake.

Dusapin composed Outscape with cellist Alisa Weilerstein in mind, and during Friday’s performance, piece and interpreter unified magnificently. Fingers flying, the American cellist powered through gnarly technical challenges with ease; her sensitivity of phrase and attention to nuances beyond those explicitly outlined in the score made this premiere performance one to remember. Macelaru, too, was an intuitive musical partner, guiding the orchestra through its seamless communion with the soloist.

Oddly, the Symphony Center

audience seemed not to share my enthusiasm: as far as I could see, no one rose to give composer and soloist a much-deserved standing ovation.

The second half of the concert waded back into familiar territory with The Planets. Even for the inexperienced listener, Holst’s famous orchestral suite is difficult to avoid: if not quoted verbatim in movies, television, and other media, echoes of it ricochet through subsequent works. (Star Wars soundtrack, anyone?) The CSO proudly reminded patrons in the program book that this repertoire mainstay received its American premiere with the orchestra in 1920, to which the Chicago Tribune’s Ruth Miller correctly predicted that the piece would be “a most dependable and successful addition to the orchestra repertoire.”

Friday’s interpretation brought out the distinct personalities of each movement, showcasing the CSO’s strengths in the process. The Continued on page 7

7

THE CHICAGO MAROON - MAY 31, 2016

“The artistic equivalent of consuming a well-rounded meal...”

Continued from page 6

orchestra’s hair-raising volume and sheer power made “Mars” even more terrifying than usual; on the other hand, “Jupiter” was played with a vitality that rendered it compelling, but never heavy. The CSO and Macelaru aptly captured the spirit of each planet as they continued their progression, from the nimble “Mercury” to the inexorably-building “Saturn” to the enigmatic “Uranus” and “Neptune.”

Stumbles were generally few and far between. “Venus” sounded oddly angular and heavy-handed for a “Bringer of Peace,” dulling its contrast with the brash “Mars.” Intonation was spotty in some places for wind soloists—possibly a side-effect of the humidity outside, which had burst into a relentless summer rain by concert’s end. Aside from some occasional moments of disconnect between Macelaru and the orchestra—some competing tempi here, a

misgauged cutoff there—the young conductor led the orchestra ably throughout.

As for the audience? Unsurprisingly, they were saving their applause for Holst’s warhorse. At the end of “Neptune”—whose fade-out choral ending is arguably just as disorienting as Outscape’s—the audience shot to its feet. It just goes to show you: at the end of the day, there was something in this program for everyone. Bon appetit.

the Sketch

Todd Rosenberg

Composer Pascal Dusapin and cello soloist Alisa Weilerstein receive a standing ovation.

A rts , B riefly .

The Beckman 5 at Hallowed Grounds The Beckman 5, a five-piece jazz group featuring drummer Paul Beckman, bassist Collin D’Aloisio, trumpet player Mike Galperin, keyboard player Joshua Turner, and singer Ana Paz, will be performing original songs, jazz, and funky hip-hop music at Hallowed Grounds next Wednesday.

Come grab a cup of coffee before you turn up at bar night.

Wednesday, June 1, 9 p.m., Hallowed Grounds, free.

Uncommon Nights: Say Cheese!

You know what’s funny? No, we’re not talking about how screwed you are for finals. We’re talking about this week’s Uncommon Night, which spotlights “cheesy jokes and even cheesier food.” Stop by to enjoy queso-crammed fare, a raunchy round or two of Cards Against Humanity, and performances by UChicago Humor Mag, Off-Campus, and student comedians.

Wednesday, June 1, 10 p.m.– midnight, Hutchinson Courtyard,

free.

OneCampus Cook-Off OneCampus, an RSO which brings together students and non-academic staff for events throughout the year, hosts its first-ever cooking competition.

Inspired by the high-octane game show Chopped, the cook-off pits six two-person teams—each of which pairs a student with a staff member—against each other. With only a variety of random ingredients and 90 minutes at their disposal, contestants will try to wow three “celebrity” judges: Dean John “Jay” Ellison, Bartlett staff member Derrick Barber, and professor Larry McEnerney, director of the Writing Program. The competition will be followed by a reception.

Thursday, June 2, 11 a.m.–2 p.m., International House Kitchen, free.

University Jazz X-tet: Dee Alexander For its last concert of the year, UChicago’s premier student jazz ensemble unites with acclaimed Chicago-based vocalist and composer Dee Alexander for a night

of new music. As a special treat, Director of Jazz Ensembles Mwata Bowden will unveil two brand-new compositions written for the occasion: “The Poznan Experiment” and “The Four Leaf Clover.” After getting your swing on, be sure to stick around for the free reception.

Thursday, June 2, 8 p.m., Performance Hall, Logan Center for the Arts, free.

Occam’s Razor: The Lazy Shit’s Show Feeling too lazy to study for finals and looking for a chance to LOL instead of think FML? Go watch “The Lazy Shit’s Show” (relatable?) instead, the last performance of the year by Occam’s Razor, UChicago’s independent improv comedy group.

Friday, June 3, 8 p.m., FXK Theatre, free.

University of Chicago Symphony Orchestra: 40th Anniversary Tribute to Barbara Schubert The USO celebrates Barbara Schubert’s 40th anniversary as music director with a special

Alumni Weekend concert. The diverse program kicks off with Shostakovich’s Festive Overture and includes the world premiere of “Catálogo Fantástico,” a new work

by Ricardo Lorenz (Ph.D. ’99) which was inspired by the University’s course catalog. The University Chorus and Motet Choir join the orchestra for Ravel’s lush Suite No. 2 from his ballet Daphnis et Chloé. The concert coincides with an exhibition on the fourth floor of Goodspeed Hall celebrating Schubert’s tenure, complete with recordings, photos, and posters.

Friday, June 3, 8 p.m. and Saturday, June 4 at 4 p.m., free, but with a suggested donation of $10 general / $5 students at the door.

Fire Escape Films 20th Anniversary and Spring Screening Escape the oncoming summer swelter with Fire Escape Films (FEF). Take refuge in Logan and hear four FEF alumni talk about their burgeoning careers in film, then head back the next day for a “best of” of productions from the past 20 years. Following that will

be this quarter’s screening of nine short films and one music video from amateur student filmmakers. If the prospect of padded seats and air conditioning doesn’t make you come running, free snacks will also be provided.

Friday, June 3, 5 p.m., Third Floor Terrace Logan Center; Saturday, June 4, 2 p.m., Logan Center room 201; Saturday, June 4, 4:30 p.m., Max Palevsky Cinema, Ida Noyes Hall, free.

The Book of Your Life: An Adult Memoir Writing Workshop Low-key think you should be famous? Have you ever watched Keeping Up With the Kardashians or Geordie Shore and thought to yourself, “Hey, I too can go to parties and consume an alarming amount of alcohol?” Attend the Adult Memoir Writing Workshop at Logan and figure out how to best turn your life into a Hollywood script. Or a Henry Kissinger-esque autobiography. Whichever.

June 7, 5:30 p.m., Logan (Room TBD), $10 admission.

PhoeniX-Word: Summer Break Created by Daniel Ruttenberg / Answers posted online at ChicagoMaroon.com Across

36 “Criminal Minds” network

10 “Roger ___”

1 Parisian pal

39 “We should let it sit”

11 “You’re speaking my

4 Sacred bird to Ptolmey

40 Villainous

language!”

8 Like Bernie Sanders and

44 Cartesian affirmation

12 Grinned smugly 13 Like people listening to

Woody Allen

45 Character flaws?

14 Fluid that doomed

46 Prince Valiant’s wife

the national anthem

dinosaurs

47 Title of a S essay that lists

18 Laos-Thailand border river

15 Second chance

all the forms?

23 Careless criticism

16 Nazi machine

49 Something worthy of a

24 Los ___ (New Mexico

17 Title of a Sosc essay on

Shehecheyanu

nuclear site)

why fashionista Smith does

50 Bar mitzvah dance

25 Pinky, for one

not understand utilitarianism

51 Rodin with a Philadelphia

26 Opposite of n00b

19 Wisconsin college or its

museum

28 A real smarty

city

52 Intestines (prefix)

31 Deceits

20 Boy Scout value

55 Title of a Sosc essay on

34 Dog at Camp Swampy

21 It precedes alt in a

stoner communists?

35 Gas that assists in

common sequence

56 Company that launched

masquerading

22 Celebrates spring, like a

the Your Move campaign

36 16-across and others 37 “Balderdash!”

bear

57 Lightbulb, metaphorically

23 Title of a Sosc essay on

58 Pool stick

38 Wise (up)

how liberals protected

59 Ecclesiastical assemblies

41 Big name in Italian fashion

themselves while playing

60 Seagull cousin

42 “Serious!”

sports

61 Reggae duo?

43 Certain gloves

27 Former Nigerian capital

46 Kabul native

28 “Serious!”

Down

29 “___ the hero Gotham

1 On pause

developed by Billy Blanks

deserves...”

2 Australian concern

49 Boring tool

30 Way from Andalucía to

3 Time of major tool use

51 Person found next to the

Valencia

4 Futuristic “keys”

president

31 French bistro order

5 Croons loudly

53 Maude’s son and Todd’s

48 Fitness program

32 Don Draper creations

6 As a sluggard would

brother, on the Simpsons

33 Title of a Sosc essay on

7 Lactose-free milk source

54 Gives a blank check

why capitalists are the best

8 Politico Bush!

55 Batting average improver

Olympians?

9 Benz suffix

8

THE CHICAGO MAROON - MAY 31, 2016

SPORTS IN-QUOTES... “I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day!” —Republican nominee for President Donald Trump sends his best wishes regarding yesterday’s holiday.

A Year in Review: The Maroons of 2015–2016 KATIE ANDERSON SPORTS EDITOR

Football The 2015 Chicago football season was one for the books, as the squad earned a national ranking for the first time in the program’s history. It was also the team’s first year playing in the Southern Athletic Association. Under head coach Chris Wilkerson, the squad kicked off the year with a fourgame winning streak, and finished 6–4 overall. Defensively, the squad was led by fourth-year All-American Vinnie Beltrano at cornerback and third-year Jackson Garrey at linebacker. Offensively, third-year quarterback Burke Moser led the charge, supplemented by a strong performance by fourth-year wide receiver Sam Coleman, who was named team MVP. Chicago will play a similar schedule next year, playing both against UAA and SAA opponents, but is set to join the Midwest Conference as an affiliate member in the 2017 season. It is certainly shaping up to be an exciting few years for Maroon football.

Men’s Soccer Under head coach Mike Babst, the men’s soccer squad went 12–5–3 in its 2015 season after starting the season with an impressive five game winning streak. The South Siders also qualified for postseason play for the consecutive year and progressed to the second round of play after defeating Thomas More in a 3–0 shutout.

Unfortunately, the squad fell to Kenyon in penalty kicks to bring its season to a close.

However, a slew of talented underclassmen including UAA Rookie of the Year Matthew Koh and nine incoming firstyears show promise for the 2016 season.

Women’s Soccer The Maroons went 13–7 overall on the season and 4–3 in conference in head coach Amy Reifert’s 25th season. Second-year forward Mia Calamari garnered All-American honors after posting two goals and a school-record 15 assists on the season.

Fourth-year veteran Nicole Mullen capped off her career with an impressive final campaign, helping the defense achieve 10 shutouts. The team also saw a string of impressive rookie performances highlighted by offensive midfielder Jenna McKinney, who scored four goals and recorded five assists on the season. The squad also earned its third consecutive trip to the NCAA Tournament, where it defeated Sewanee in the first round then fell to Thomas More.

Cross Country The 2015 cross country season marked the second time in three years that both the men’s and women’s squads were selected to the NCAA DIII Championships. The women’s side was highlighted by former swimmer, second-year Khia Kurtenbach’s All-American performance in her first cross country season. On the men’s side, fourth-year Michael Frasco also concluded his career with a strong finish at Nationals, placing 78th of 278 runners.

Men’s Basketball Led by a slew of veteran fourth-years, men’s basketball went 17–8 on the season and 8–6 in the competitive UAA conference. Fourth-year Jordan Smith surpassed 1,000 career points in his final season, finishing with 1,160, which ranks 10th in the Chicago record books. A season highlight came with Smith’s buzzer-beater three to propel the Maroons over rival Wash U in the first game of conference play.

Third-year Tyler Howard impressed at the point guard position, averaging 3.6 assists per game to lead the team.

While the team will lose six players to graduation, returners Howard, Collin Barthel, and Jake Fenlon have the potential to lead the team in a successful campaign under head coach Mike McGrath.

Women’s Basketball Under head coach Carissa Sain Knoche, Chicago went 16–9 overall and 8–6 in UAA play. Fourth-year Caitlin Moore finished her collegiate career by being named team MVP after posting 6.7 points and 2.6 rebounds per game and providing consistent leadership to a team made up of mostly underclassmen. Second-year Elizabeth Nye’s performance as point guard earned her Second Team AllUAA status, while first-year Ola Obi made an immediate impact down low to be named UAA Rookie of the Year. An exciting season came to an even more exciting conclusion with an 82–70 win over UAA rival No. 9 Wash U in the squad’s final game. In the Midwest battle, the Maroons shot a record-breaking 63.8 percent from the field and 55.6 percent from behind the arc. Chicago will return 11 players and add six newcomers for the 2016–17 season.

S wim

and

D ive

Combined, the men’s and women’s swim teams picked up 16 All-American honors in the 2015–16 season. For the women, second-year Melissa Bischoff, fourthyear Karen Chu, first-year Hannah Eastman, third-year Maya Scheidl, and third-year Allison Wall all earned First Team All-American status. Fourth-year Thomas Meek represented the men’s side in the First Team All-American category. On the diving board, first-year Anna Girlich made waves in her rookie campaign being named UAA Diver of the Year, while later placing 13th at NCAA regionals. Second-year Natalie DeMuro joined Girlich at regionals and placed 10th.

Wrestling The wrestling squad finished second of three teams in the UAA Conference, and went on to place 11th of 15 teams at the NCAA Midwest Regional. Thirdyear Paul Papoutsis and second-year Devan Richter were both seeded at the NCAA Regionals, but unfortunately fell just short of qualifying for the national championships. While the squad may have been disappointed with its performance, a slew of returning talent shows great promise for the future of the program. Papoutsis and Richter, along with first-year Mason Williams and second-year Nick Ferraro, will all return.

Indoor

and

O utdoor T rack

and

F ield

The highlight of the year in track and field undoubtedly came with third-year Michelle Dobbs’s first-place finish in the 800m at the NCAA Championships to make her a national champion. Second-year Khia Kurtenbach extended her success from the cross country season into indoor track and field with a school record and fourth-place finish in the 3000m at nationals. Moving into the outdoor season, fourth-year pole vaulter and former national champion

Michael Bennett made his return from injury to represent the men’s squad at the NCAA Championships. Dobbs and Kurtenbach impressed again with their individual performances but the women’s season was highlighted by a school record-breaking performance by the 4x400m relay of Dobbs, first-years Emma Koether, Nicole VacaGuzman, and fourth-year Mikaela Hammel.

Baseball While the baseball squad went 18–19 on the year, noteworthy individual performances highlighted the year for the Maroons. First-year Josh Parks came out swinging in his collegiate debut to be named Second Team All-UAA. Veteran fourth-year Lucas Friss finished his career with his best season yet, with four complete games, two shutouts and a 3.86 ERA. S oftball Maroon softball saw its best season in years under head coach Ruth Kmak, finishing 27–10 to earn the second-most season wins in the program’s history. Fourth-year Jordan Poole capped off a historic career with two no-hitters on the season to add to her previous no-hitter recorded in her second year. Fellow fourth-year Devan Parkinson topped the record books in career stolen bases with 67. To top off an incredible senior class, Kristin Lopez finished the year with career highs in homeruns, RBI, and doubles.

The squad qualified for the postseason, where they lost in the regional final.

Men’s

and

Women’s T ennis

Both tennis squads experienced great success this year, which came as no surprise after a string of great seasons. The men’s squad reached the final four, where they fell to Middlebury to bring an incredible season to a close.

The women reached the NCAA Elite Eight, where they fell to Williams.

CLASSIFIEDS 2BR Nice Co-Op Apt 53rd Ellis 78K 312-403-1242 2 & 3 BDRM APTS for rent. Great location near shopping, public transportation, etc.

54th & Harper right off 53rd. Hardwood floors, ceiling fans in all bedroom & living room, on-site maintenance man.

Call for appointment.

Alan (312) 607-9412, Dino (312) 478-2722

2BDRM 6527 S Kimbark. $850 Rent/$850 Security Deposit Tenant pays heat & electric.

Call Mike (630) 400-3447