My Life's A Tru Story! Inside dis who I be? by Antawn Chinn

A.C. Creations, Inc. 2953 .NW. 51 st Street 26 Avenue Miami, FL 33142

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A.C. CREATIONS INC is a trademarks of Antawn Chinn’s company. For any question on sales books contact me Antawn Chinn at (323)503-5956 Or acgraphics83@yahoo.com or get me at facebook.com/antawnchinn

Cover Jacket / Designed by Antawn Chinn

Antawn Chinn’s My Life’s A true Story inside dis who I be /Antawn Chinn Made In United States ISBN 976-1-304-21946-6

I Dedicate this to my best friend Tawana, Jennifer, Chris, Isaiah Jeremiah, Mom, Dad, sister, little brothers, cousins, Aunties, grandma, R.I.P 2 Woody shout outs 2 Ronald! 2 friends that I lost.

I simply want 2 dedicate this Book to My child hood friend way back from when we were staying On Fifty ninth terrace and third Ave Marshell Brent, Shae, Noval, Ms.Betty, Maureen, Dionza Dai, Dennis, Darius, Derrick, Quinnzale, Tavy, James, just want 2 give my love to “Woody! rest in peace my childhood friend I’ll miss you.

Norbret Woody Guzman Jr. December 9 1989 – April 23, 2011 R.I.P

Contents Dedication My Letter

1.How This all stared 2. My pain And struggles 3. Look I know how 2 draw 4. My Lifeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s A tru Story inside dis who I be 5. Life On dialysis now

6. My Relationships 7. Waiting 4 A Kidney 8. Back in Miami 9. Strange Dreams 10. A letter 2 speak my peace (Poem)

vii

11. My is not my Own 12. Livin On 1 kidney 13. I Made a Mistake “It’s okay It’s okay “ 14. As Eye sit hear thinking? 15. A Drawing book 4 letters N tears (Poem) 16. Da Drawing that’s on the wall 17. “The story about tawana”

viii

HOW IT ALL STARTED

Was Born “Antawn Shawntavious Chinn” On February 19, 1983

In Miami Florida in the City down below of The South Florida beaches. Wow! Hear the Sounds of the air waving brushing! Around the palm trees, The People on The Beaches, Kids playing in the Sun But! Not so much as I was always on South beach. I was brought into The World my Mother “Algeiereita Simpson and, Father Balgene Chinn Sr I have one Sister! “Antinique Chinn And. My Lil Brother Balgene Chinn Jr my Sister appears to be my Twin the Other half of me.

“We were Born on the same month, and. The Same year, my Mom And, Father were living Together! In the Late Eighties Right! In the area of the city of Miami Right was born Dad, lived with his father.”

6. My Life’s A tru Story N side Dis Who I be

“Why! Was my father staying! With his Dad” It was something! About My grandmother “Rosa and. My grandfather “Mr. Robert was not getting! Alone Then. Dad told me that, They took him..! Away from my “Grandma When He was A Little boy? And how my Grandfather! Tried to put grandma In Mental house I don’t know Wow!..”

But! Back at the Times my Father was the kinda guy who got around in his day, He was in the Music business doing! The Time he had worked with People in the Industry even “Miami’s queen of Soul “Betty Wright along with her “Musician his long time good Friend “Angello Morris. I’ve met him good guy! I got a lot of Respected for him. I talked about getting Into the studio with me on my music Unfortunately! My Dad had His own Record Company named, after me! And, My Sister right! Before my little brother was born, Things Probably! Got A little hard on him then. Mom and Dad were Splitting up things weren’t working out! Just when all of Sudden, I used to see me And. My Sister Mom and Dad both were fighting In the bedroom. “I would tell you Man! It was Crazy! They really went at it?”

My father” Beating! On Mom! That when “Moms had to take Me, my Sister, And, my Little Brother, we move down south. To stay with my Grandma Witch was south west of “Pierren South Miami”. It was rarely different in some parts here from the City! So My “Grandma helped my Mom raise Me my Sister and, ” Little Brother and, Then Theirs Auntie” Chubby mom’s older Sister and. “Erica“ Mom’s Baby Sister they were caring And, Loving! Being there for us”.

7. How It All Started

My Mom’s Sisters took care of us all when Me And, My Sister got A Little Bit older!.. I Don’t know probably! 5 Years old or Younger then, that My Sister attended to be A lot More Fast Learning! Then me. I was bad with Reading comprehensions!.., And, Solving math problems I had a learning problem But! Then as I took the time to work on that I’ve Gotten A little better then, The way I use to be “Moms told me that I Was born with “Renal Kidney Failure” It was part of A birth affect. I had two of my “Kidneys” but! It appears that, my right Kidney was not properly Functioning, I only had my left One And I had to go!.. Back and Forward into the Hospital, to see how that my Kidneys were functioning! “It really! Bothered Her. My “Mother Struggled a lot cause eventually! She had a lot And, A lot of hard times with me.

My “Aunties and grandma were telling me how much she struggled with me. I mean! “ Sometimes Moms had to miss certain day of work!..

cause I was back up in the hospital, But! Also it Bothered me? It Hurted me! My “Moms felt bad for me!

When Me and, my “Sister were little she became faster, party trained then I was “Moms would say!.. Antawn Get up!.. Get up and go to the Bathroom?.. I Remember those words!.. Then, My Sister would carry me to the bathroom Herself when we were Little Mom “said I was kinda lazy?.. I Didn’t want to get up!. Used To constantly get sick (Boy!) That’s when I knew life was not easy “Livingwith Kidney failure!..

8 . Antawn Chinn

I know Because, I was feeling! like I just had A rain cloud over my head like, you know when you walking! Down Twenty blocks” down the Street, And It’s Raining!.. You’re Right down the Street from house, you’re stuck in the rain

You have No!.. Rain coat with you!.. You’re gonna get wet?.. Rain’s all day?. It’s never gonna to Stop!..” I feel just Like that rain...?

This is never gonna Stop- with what I’m going! thru with Kidney Failure, And then. You have Kids making fun of you cause you! Pissed on yourself sitting In the Class!.. I was probably about- 11-12 years old when I was in the Third grade, I was just tryna get the Strength to Pull myself Together. Urgently I was too young to Just try to get The Children to Really!.. Understand what’s going on! And, Why?. Do I Pee in my clothes“ I have Kidney problems?..” I have Kidney problems!..I “Said?.. to Myself..,

MY PAIN MY STRUGGLES

ell At the Tender age I was about 10 years old This is when I into the

hospital for Surgery” there! was A blockage. This Blockage!.. Was a hold That I Had down below my stomach “ somewhere” It was somewhere over my BladderSo it was kinda like me Urinating!.. from That, Blockage And. My penis I had to have the blockage. Closed up that was somewhere in 1993 from 1994 it Bothered me When I was in the Third Grade Man!.. Because after that surgery, at Ten yearsold I Had A tube hanging out of my Bladder after surgery and on The Top all that I also was wearing these Big size adult grown-up looking “Pampers”. Man! I Remember just Stuffing my bag pack with those things I just even wanna go back to reminding myself! Of doing that But! It I wanted to get out of those I had to learn How to get up And, Go to the Bathroom. Funny! Bout that cause people they actually think they know, What somebody goes through. Sometimes! It was the most absolute hardest part for me! Because I wouldn’t get up, I Was in A Deep Sleep!” When I go to bed, “Moms had to hit me!.. She had to Punch me to wake me up!.. To go to the bathroom?..

10 . My Life’s A tru Story N side dis who I Be

I Had accidents in the bed Moms” sometimes!.. Got tired sick and tide of it because she had to keep changing And, washing the sheets on my Bed then. When I went to School I use to make Accidents!..” pissing In my Clothes I had Like a very “Big wet Spot in the back of my Pants!” Because I had A weak Bladder, I Couldn’t control bladder!. Didn’t feel myself” When I had to go Then! the Time I came home from school “Mom!.. Seen me come home with “tears in my eyes because the “Kid’s or Sometimes my classmates” were Making fun and, Laughing at me! Witch I would tell my “Mom! She Said!.. Well!.. Antawn? They Don’t Understand if you!.. Just tell e’m That you have a Problem!.. With going to the bathroom And!.. they’ll understand?... “I Didn’t Know how to explain that cuz I was so Young to understand”? Every time I went for An Fallow- up Appointment at Jackson Memorial Hospital “ I would have to get stuck with A Foley Catherin” it was like A long tube That. They would stick up In to the pee hold of My Penis witch was very uncomfortable! Thing I’ve ever Experience! Cause it Hurt when the doctor’s stuck it in me Thensoon! I would go to The Bathroom Hurting, paining, or stinging every time, I when to bathroom. “If I didn’t empty my bladder If I wasn’t able to drain my bladder they had to do that?...

What the doctors were doing They Were trying! To save my Left Kidney so I wouldn’t end up on Dialysis after the Hold was completely closed!.. They took out my right- Kidney I felt so different from other People because when I got into Middle school it was growing up time?.. it was a lot of things I could not do!.. and was not able to do like’ No! Heavy lifting of Weights, Construction work, football or Basketball anything dealing with sports? And Hard playing, my “Father Sometimes was pretty hard on me!

11. My pain my Struggles

And. Sometimes my Brother it was every week or on the weekend “ Dad Would come by get Me my lil’ brother And my Sister up! You know Just to Spent some time with us. He Took Me and my “ Brother to Play football at “Moore park Witch was A park, right in the City of Miami Florida” Dad wanted to I guess!.. Try me And. my Brother for football so He got us “ Playmate Football outfits it was One time we played in “Mom’s backyard This is when She stayed off Thirtysix Street Third Avenue?.. We Played in The backyard or “Dad “would come get us take to the Park! My “father was Always trying to challenge us at we were doing!... no matter what? It was I didn’t understand Him!.. but then he found out my “little brother knew how to Play football and, I Didn’t “ cause I never played it before?” And he Had a real problem with that LOL! Man! my parents really didn’t Know what I was going to do? Till Then!. “ Dad would’ve thought if he saw me playing on his Drums’ That I his oldest Son was gonna fallow in his Footsteps or my brother was gonna do it I don’t know? Thinking to myself” as I laughed humorously! I got my finger rubbing it Across my Chin Saying!..

How could we be A musician we might not Want to be what he was? How would we be in his Footsteps! When might want to go our own way!..

Putting us with Something do to do?.. He signed my Sister up for Tennis lessons at the youth City park ” Moore Park Then She played Basketball for Miami Edison sr high school Now! She’s A animal vet? Making her the Best of what she does that’s what she wanted to do!.. My Sisters had been through a lot of things too like the time when we were coming up as A Child my Sister was hit off her Bicycle!. Some guy hit my Sister” and drove off facing the point. She had a Broken leg and lost a lot of Blood while she was in the hospital!.. Mom’s said She almost died?.. or bout the time in high School when She passedout! That time I came home from school and found out she wasn’t There?.. all of us Been through something but! Mom was always there Even when Dad”

12. My Life’s A Tru Story N side dis who I Be?

By Antawn Chinn

Wasn’t Around sometimes I guess I can say we was kinda hurt cause we could never! Talk to him. While having a little Conversation, turns into the biggest FightOr When he use to come by the House picking!. me my sister and my “lil Brother up every week. He would take us out to eat buying us Shoes, And Clothes, then we had the Big Christmas we were getting all this Stuff but!.. My Father” sees us whenever He wants To come see us. Where is the love?.. You know like A Bounding!...That everybody else haves with their parents I Didn’t Know?.. I was too young at the time To Understand My mom And Dad. Wasn’t together Dad” Had another women my two little brother Mom Linda” she was my father’s new Girlfriend’ supposedly!.. Witch she had two boys from my Father named “Ahlaniee and Darrakhan we were shocked at The time but! Mom I think was a little surprised too I my Sister my brother we met both of E’m it was like welcoming them!.. Into the family! Got along with them! We were kind ofConfused you And my Father” was kinda confused you try to make it work with Somebody but! Things just Don’t go right Theirs something! Something that my Father” Didn’t have?.. He would explain!.. It didn’t get thru to us Somehow we were too young see that. Even the bad arguments my Mom And, Dad use To have he didn’t know us And we didn’t know him.

LOOK I KNOW TOO DRAW

ike every other Starter and remembering as I sat back Laughing Again

Because, I wasn’t That tight how I got now!.. this started “probably. In the First grade second going to “ Comstock Elementary School ” sitting in the ‘ Art class while “ Ms. Hutchinson” walks Across her room portable Always teaching us something! How to draw she Drew on the black chalk Broad it was Shapes, And circles, still life’s and. Many other objects All I would say! Is this is what I want to do I would like to learn this?.. I remember doing all kinds Creative Stuff we did Paper kyes in our own Designs own Ideals The hold class like Wow!.. we had a lot of fun Those we’re things I’ve learned and being a part of that Leaded me to get farther with drawing?. With the Mind of this hold Artistic thing so I felt fast anted then. I was getting Into art clubs, Then there was Contests you Know everybody wanted to be Somebody be Bigger, the best Better then everybody!..

14 My life’s A tru story inside dis who I be?

Antawn Chinn

This talent that I’ve had was like it was met for me to do after knowing! how to draw that’s when I carried this with me. All the way to middle school to High school “Saying to myself”!.. is what I want is this what I really wanna do?.. “Moms “ She found out I knew how to draw!.. So she got me prepared getting me first sketch book and coloring pencils?.. I Started drawing cartoons looking at “Stephen King’s movies Creepshow, pet Cemetery, then Halloween and “ Clive Barkers” Hellraiser?.. When I saw “Hellriaser” that was like around twelve, Elven year old Wow!.. That movie right their was kinda disturbing!.. very bloody when “Frank” got ripped out his skin And Then. When The puzzle box opened up it was kinda like you were going into Another “dimension” But! Yea?.. got interested into Comic books, Story boards. And other things to do with media arts at the age of Fourteen I Begin to practice more and as my “Mom Pushed me everyday!.. She would have me sitting at the table drawing I mean Drawing I Remember!.. I had An Audition for ( New World School of Arts) witch was a art school Downtown Miami I was preparing as I had a lot of my work set up on the table. Just a couple of my pieces of my work from sixth grade at Miami Edison middle school?..

Just Oil Pastal drawings project That I had did with an art teacher name “ Ms. Abrohand and the hole class.

15 Look I know how to draw

By Antawn Chinn

Going to the Audition displaying my Work as I people were walking around checking out every student’s work after the audition I had to almost wait probably a month for them to call. I was just trying to see if I got accepted I don’t know I Remember that when I was in the way of tryna get into “ New world!... But Then something came up I to go back into the Hospital again !,, I gotten a hernia and this happened when I was “ Fourteen years old my “ Mom” into the living room I was in so much awful pain Didn’t know what was wrong!.. “Mom’s walks into the living seeing me bind down on the floor leaning over the couch” She said!.. Boy whuz wrong with you?... “ Looking at me balled up on the floor. Holding myself between the legs?..” Tellin her “Some things hurtin me between there?.. She said”. Let me see?.. “You have a Hernia?.. She took me to the “Doctor and they said!.. I had knocked one of my tentacles outta place I had been lifting heavy things I didn’t know I caused myself A Hernia I wanted to do my dreams But! I had to go back into the hospital.“ Mom felt like I was going down this road to failure, I felt like! I was not getting Anywhere me myself wasn’t getting Nowhere it just wasn’t Happening! A couple of months that’s when it felt like Years have passed by as I gotten older I became more experienced with my talent taking up more Art classes. At “Miami Edison Sr high school “I ended up Drawing very own first Comic book! Called “The Night Demon “

witch had been a story written in the tent-

eleventh grade. It wasn’t much Making copies That my art teacher did for me would give them out sell some for about five or ten buck A copy.

16. My life’s A tru story N side dis who I be

Antawn Chinn

Then! After I graduated from High school I planned going to college wanted to go to the “ Art Institute in Florida But!... I ended up finishing

High school

under an special Diploma that was not made for go off to college instead

ended up taking a Trade at “ Lindsey Hopkins technical ed center “ talking up commercial arts through “ Vocational program Saying! That they would pay for me too go to school taking up this trade at out there! Where I’ve study commercial

Arts learning a lot bout Adobe Photoshop, Illustrator page maker,

Core painter and other things I knew I was somewhere different but! I was working on the side for Clients doing album covers, Mix tapes cover businesscards, and things making what I’ve learned trying to make it. Making my dreams come true also tryna make my mind up asking!.. myself, is this what I really want to do with my life?... We’re in 2000 Now I’m still trying

to hold on Man!… things got harder

clients were paying me money But !..

when you would jobs “Everybody

screwing you over I asked?.. “ this is not fair..? why? Me! Shit I’m tryna make my dreams happen?..” “I just felt like I’v had enough just wanted to give it up!..” So I did it went ahead and took a trip outta town to “ Southren Cailfornia When out their fell in love with this girl it Didn’t work out this January 4, 2009 I Ended up in the Hospital in “ Norwalk California I rand outta me meds wow! This became a problems I struggled. I was homeless Living in an Shelter downtown L.A. Off of “Broadway hanging with some of the “Watts Crips

in and

then I rand into two of these twins from Inglewood they were affiliated with the (“Inglewood Family Gang ) running into someone other then them!

17. Looking I know how too draw

By Antawn Chinn

It Was “ David Someone with who I met along the streets of “ Downtown L.A. Of Skid row, David was a independent Screenplay writer someone who writing scripts for movies. And. Short plays In fact he shows me couple of his short stories that he had written in three books that he had published

with Lulu

Publishing! Anyway I met up with him and His girlfriend “ Marie walking up and down the streets on “ San Julain dragging a black suitcase filled with scripts looking for a beak into the Hollywood film industry. I Had told him that I was An “ Creative

Illustrations Artist From Miami Florida looking for someone to

work with So we Connected “ David worked with A guy by the name “( Fred). Fred was a guy rich old man who live way out in “ Santa Moncia Califonia David had told that he had another friend by name of “ Angello working with at the time

but!

witch he was

They had some kinda bad blood going

Anything!... “Fred was looking for an Illustrator That, could do! The Artwork for some children’s books!.. I went ahead and did five book covers for “Fred I was paid by “David. (David) wanted me to do some more work But I had to go out to the Valley where my Grandmother lived explaining about what Happened? Between me And my girl “Andria

telling my grandma

“Rosa

what about

Annamasty things aren’t going good between me and “ Andrea I had to go back to” Miami and This wasn’t good on me? … I Didn’t have a place to stay coming way... way.. out here I Left “Mr. Willy’s place getting into B.S. with this girl’s family I had to find my way?... I was on a party line chat that I remember! I got in touch with a girl named “ Renee this was crazy cause they were cool at first but yea!.. I met her and her sister “ Hilary and the other Sister they were from “ St Louis they were about eighteen, seventeen years old told me that they were in the Drug game they had a Brother “ Bear he’s a dope boy form (Boradway Gangster Crip) set I needed to get my self together she told her brother that they needed to help somebody get on their feet. I got my check went to cop some work from him!... I met him “ Bear said Whuz up?... I looked up at him?..

18. My life’s A tru story N side dis who I be ?

By Antawn Chinn

Got Into the Van I Said Antawn Chinn … Look at him in the eye while shaking his hand I’m Sitting in the van thinking that These L.A.P.D ‘s Coming up! Cause we’re Downtown in Los Angeles in the roughest part of the area And. It’s Late “ Fends out!... I’m in this big old looking “ Van I Said” I’m Antawn He looks at me like this! Dude... Don’t know what he’s doing so he says Don’t give me your real name Cuzz !.. Give me a nick name ?

I Pulled out the money given he One Hundred dollars he gave me four hundred in rocks... crack I’m with “ Renee And. “ Hilary the St Louis girls! … They Help me get a “ Hotel having somewhere to stay we was out there!... grinding eating on mc Donald’s I was doing what I had to do!

Get some money And Publish my Books come to think of it!..

These too girls

started acting funny!... Somewhere in the back on my mind Something! Just wasn’t right Feeling thru my Stomach it was time to go home!... Ending up getting in some Bad blood with these girls I didn’t no what happened!.. bad situation Again!.. Cause I got into A Fight with “ Renee things strated going all the down the drain so I was left California?...

MY LIFE’S A TRU STORY INSIDE THIS WHO I BE

feel that the truth must come out like really?.. Because all of these things

that I’m going through shall be told it is apart of me. The stuff I’m talking about Living ! with kidney failure And, That I’ve been in and out the hospital all my life this is a “ True Document sord of like a Book Ever notice that when that people talk when they came from weather..! They come from the streets or out one the project’s or any other way. They’ll say that their from the hood not their really! Not there’s people out here in the world struggling don’t have any money Don’t have a place to stay sleeping!.. on the Streets didn’t grown up with a “ Father figure?... this right here !... (The things I’m writing in here this is not some “ Gimmicks right here?.. like some rappers tryna tell and rap About the Streets and bout (“ Thug life !.. the hood I’m not making up this tryna make hit’s so I can sell records No!..

20. My Life’s A tru story N side dis who I be ?

By Antawn Chinn

I’ve Sick on medication all my life my “Mother really struggle with me I am a Twin to my Sister. I “Graduated from High School With special diploma so it’s a little hard for me to get into a College sitting on porch, or on the porch wishing dreaming! talking about what’s next writing drawing my emotions out hoping praying that if I’ll get discovered, make it?...

My “ Art teacher that I met while I was talking up a trade he would call me telling me that he would go out to these Art show And. Galleries he’ll take me along introduce me to some people ?... telling them what kinda of drawing I do!.. or if he had any Freelance Job leads he like throw them down to me!..

As I Remember the times I was in School at “ Lindsey Hopkins always tell me.

“ Antawn!.. You find any job leads yet?... Did you come across anything yet!...”

I Responding to him!.. I was Struggling looking for working .

No! lead yet rei?...”

Everyday!.. Being up in that Classroom putting in hours creating working on something new! Then. “ Rei’s up on his Mac computer creating these painter Illustrations, listening to his music on the computer I said

“ Rei!.. are you alright?.. “

21. My Life’s A tru story N side dis who I be

By Antawn Chinn

He says while putting his hands on his head taking a deep Breath As like he’s “ Stresses!.. “ feeling bad for me !.. “ He Says!..

I’m fine Antawn?,, just you man!.. I want you to make it !...

He was just always And Hoping that I can” Successed my dreams be very good at what I was doing!.. I was one of his best Students always sitting in this “Class coming up with something !.. Having all my drawing scattered out all over the table. Having a lot to show the teacher what I can do!.. Graduating, from “ Lindsey Hopkins Technical Education center “Rei left to fine himself a Better job After Graduating from the Art institute With an Bachelors or an AA I think that “ Rei deservers That now! I stay touch with him..! You Know?.. I’ll call him up!.. stop over to his house we’ll Hang listen to some music do up some pieces chillin! I’ve Always want to great at some thing!... Be Beautiful, amazing the best at what I do show the World what I’ve build and Created, be “Legendary be remembered just the great one of “ Betty wright, MichaelJackson james brown, and many of them put Together.

LIFE NOW ON DIALYSIS

ll I Could Think of now laughing To Myself saying Why?

How Did I put myself in this situation this! Frustration all this trouble this mess!.. I Think it was November 1, 2010 went back to California met this girl “Princess she was out of Arizona this was in “BakersfeldCalifornia I felt fine at once until things got bad Between me And. Her she told her “ Step Dad Tazz was his name she went and told him that I wanted to get into the “Drug game Witch! She shouldn’t have told him that Now! He’s fussing at me you know!.. Because I was mad at her For!.. telling him bout what I wanted to do?..

23. Life On Dialysis Now

By Antawn Chinn

“Tazz is talking to me we’re sitting in him and his wife bedroom princess is in the living room he says ” I’m not gonna keep dealing with every guy that Gets cought up then!... she takes the fall?.. He was telling me about that she use to mess with A guy Name ”Tyrone “ I Don’t Know he might have gotten cought up, She told that she was with someone that he was locked up And. She was ready to move on!.. I’m walking as I met her shes gor pictures, and drawing, and letters, you know stuff he had gave her But!.. Things stared to get heckted! We got into a Fight! Wanting to leave I Couldn’t calling up one of the home girl’s “Latica she was closer where I was living in “ Bakersfeild Telling her that Things we’re working between me And. This Girl I rand out of money!.. things are not good between me And the girl I was with I need somewhere to stay just until I get on my feet.. You know..! I asked her” So she said” I’ll call you back?.. “ Princess Cane back home, asking her if I could stay Till’ I get some money?.. it was thanksgiving spending the day by myself! It was one night, late as hell She came knocking on the door!.. “ Opening the door the T.V’s still on comes in the House with some Dude?.. didn’t know who dude was looking at him he looked like A Crip I met him homeboi was Cool he said” Whuz up Cuzz!.. responding back to him “ Chillin chillin!.. I’m Miami tho if!.. “ she didn’t tell you man?.. I was nerveous as hell!..”

24. My Life’s A tru Story N side dis who I be?

By Antawn Chinn

She brought A “ East Side Crip in the house look like he just got out looking!.. somebody’s place to use for a hang out a place to lay, and eat out for a while, till he could get up on his foot I got to know a little bit bout Bakers field from him!.. he had some “ Cali kush on him wanting me to “ Buy some I had no money right now!. I told him I holla at him on the first..! then bring over her friends I met them home girl “Brittney And boyfriend carrying their baby boy I didn’t know what happened But!.. things started getting crazy that was fucked up Straight up..! Asking “ Princess home girl “ Brittney “ what’s going on?.. I don’t know if “ Cuzz had a problem with Brittney and her boyfriend being in the house Brittney!.. said they had to leave?.. while I was still in the house Brittney just came and got her things and just left it was “Princess Dad “ Tazz said they couldn’t stay there?.. if the landlord fines out that other people are living their She could loose her apartment. “ I Don’t know what happened I was just waiting for next month It was December first I left they were sleep!.. packed my stuff crab my bag and left!.. Going to the “ Greyhound bus station buying my ticket tidered as hell!.. I had enough of this trip went to go get me some eat they Station was severing “breakfast waiting for the bus! I see nigga through the window I’m like “ Shit! How did they fine me!..

25. Life On Dialysis Now

Antawn Chinn

This Nigga Shows up Said” Whuz up wit the money cuzz?.. I Stood there telling” Him!.. I left cuzz I didn’t want no trouble… I’m not tryna get in nothing!..

He Stands their and Shit with Princess saying!.. “You gotta pay her right now!..

Asking her how much money do I owe her standing there with her arms folded looking stupid she said”

He owe me 250 for my light bill?..

So I was looking at this white girl like she was crazy sayiny” when I asked you how much do you want me to pay you!.. why?.. wouldn’t you take the money.. wen I was tryna pay you didn’t get her?.. She Didn’t want nothing from me she couldn’t even get herself to get what she wanted from me I just left getting on the bus “ O.G. June bug someone I met on the bus tall as fuck..! Just got outta prison He was standing right there!.. At the scene looking?.

26. Life’s a tru story N side dis who I be?

Antawn chinn

I turn around he gives me four dollars he look down at me he said” I Ain’t tripping!.. Homie hear you go!..”

he gets on the Bus with me man that Shit had me hot!.. my pressure was up, I rand outta my medication, And. Then I got in some more Shit! With another girl “Lori it was stupid! Spending Christmas time with Lori But!.. all of a sudden the walls came down crumbling. Lori” starts “ acting crazy?.. “ Telling!.. her to get out my face Were in the Yard “Fighting?. As she tried to throw a punch..! “ So I picked up a metal stick I was about to bust her in head?.. (Mom!) Comes out the house, she “ say’s Hey!.. hey!.. hey!.. holding “ Lori All steamed up and upset..! I Just grab my stuff and left? “ “ Walking! Out the yard?.. I’m like damn! “ Was it worth it?.. Coming!.. out to Cali getting in some shit.. I left “ Rialto Called my ex “Andrea and, told her happened?.. “For some reseon I wasn’t feeling to good?.. I was telling “Andrea ! that. I had some work waiting!.. me. Up in L.A.?.. She said” Make that money Antawn!.. do wat you have to do!...

27. Life on Dialysis now

By Antawn Chinn

I’m on my way Heading!.. to L.A. (Los Angeles) that’s when it all happened, this was a nightmare I’m with “Keeva” at the shop working!.. I don’t feel good at all I’m throwing up!.. all over bathroom floor?.. “Keeva” comes in from going to make a pick up!.. “ She said “ Antawn you alright?.. You need to go to the doctor!..” “All I said leaning over the toleit!.. I don’t know what’s going on?.. I told her that, I gotten sick when I was in Hollywood” working! With “David the screen writer that I met up with I was trying! to eat something But! I couldn’t keep no food couldn’t lay down one night!.. I’m laid out on the floor at the shop!.. “ The City of Los Angeles Rescue squad pulls up cause I hread them!” “ I got up!.. Rushing to the door?.. as there was thses red lights beaming! “ All over the shop “ They put me on the scratcher then “Keeva “comes into the shop Shocked!!” when she saw the rescue squad all packed up in the front of the shop. She said “ Antawn!.. what happened man?..

28. Life’s a tru story N side dis who I be?

Antawn chinn

I Really I didn’t say anything but I’m going to the hospital As I sat there in the “ Rescue squad thinking!.. somewhere in the back of my mind I thought this was the end for me. cause this what?.. I felt inside I was so confused about all the drama happening!...

January 14, 2011 I ended on Dialysis I flew back home to Miami Florida cause my “Mom and, Eldest auntie

put me on a plane back from

California I wasn’t ready to come back home, not yet But!.. it was worth it Now!.. living life on Dialysis!..

This Helps time after time but it makes me weak you really have to eat A lot to get strength. I use my most of my time drawing And, Writing, most is poems sometimes!. I don’t feel the way I use to before?.. I got on dialysis!. My body feels different I go to dialysis three times A weekI go outside walk, go to Church, cause that’s the only way I can keep up My strength, I’ve gotten the cathren removed from my Chest and, putting into my Right fore arm. Soon from the time as time awaits I’ll be getting a kidney in the mean time I’m just waiting!.. for something..! to happened.

MY RELATIONSHIPS

haven’t had many girls at the time in my life tryna stay focus

My goals art and school, keeping! My head in these books I knew and remember I was a lot of attention, Having friends from girlfriends, and guy friends back in high school going “Miami Edison S.r. High School” I had this Jamaican girlfriend that I use to talk to way back in High school named “Tamila Baliey Somebody that I had falling in love with use to walk with her And Hang down the hallways till it was time to go to class!.. “ As we were on our way,,!” “I don’t remember what? It was But!.. I was in my math class and, the math teacher “ Mr. Torres sitting In his classroom everybody’s talking bout “ Tamika Bout she was doing this!..” “And that she’s doing that!..” O she’s messing around with somebody else you know?..” Cause I was tryna go far with her!.” I guess?..” my teacher “ Mr. Torres Seen us together?.

49. My life’s A true story dis is who I be?

By Antawn chinn

” When he saw me sitting in the front row of the Classroom. The Bell rings everybody leaves “Mr. Torres class I grab my stuff so I can leave getting going just when I leaving!.. “ Mr. Torres calls me!.. “ saying Hey chinn come over here!..” “ I gotta talk 2 you!..” I looked at him walking up slowly! To his desk, I tough I was in trouble for something!.. looking up at “ Mr.Torres, I Said “whuz up “Mr.Torres?..” He asked me that if I was talking to “Tamika Responding to him “Yea!.. what’s going on?.. ” Mr. Torres “have you done anything with her?..”

looking at him I said “ No! I just kissed

her?..” as I responded to him he looked surprised!..” he said “She’s not 4 chinn, She’s not for you!..” She’s got A kid that girls been in a lot of shit!.. “ “ I told that I have to let her go?..” “ then that was the end of us!..” “ we really had nothing in common for some reason I can tell that something was wrong ?.. “Tamika was acting kinda funny!.” And I don’t remember saying “ Sorry ya!.. “ “But!.. I made out with her?..” wanting to do something with her she didn’t wanna to do it looking at her were standing in the hallway, I asked her. “Tamika are you seeing somebody?..” “Cause u acting funny?.” She looked at me saying “ I was in A relationship!..” “ I’m not anymore?..” “And yes I do have a son!..” He’s in Jamaica with his father?..” “ I just had to let her go like I wasn’t ready for it never really! Experienced that I was seventeen old in still in school!.” “Only having my head occupied on college And

doing plans. “Tamika was

somebody good?..” “Somebody I liked my High School krush! Then there was another girl “Barbara Garcia she was Sweet, Educated, sexy! Bad man..!

52. My Relationships

Antawn Chinn

We met at “Lindsey Hopkins Technical Education Center, while out there taking up my Commercial Arts trade I met her through my friend’s classmate, man “Everybody! was trying to go! With “Barbabra walking up and down the Hallway Lunch time, Hanging out, on the Patio in the Cafeteria students, walking Everywhere then. There’s pretty little “Barbie walking with “Dorese my homeboy’s “ Thomas homeboys “Richies girlfriendwalking with my classmates “Kolet’s friend girl “Gurdy walking the one time!.. I see all of them walking coming from Wendy’s Or something “Gurdy “said” Hi Michael?.” As I responded “Whuz up gurdy?..” I having on a red shirt and some wrangler jeans I was sitting on the benches seeing “Dores I said” Hey!.. dores?..” She turns her head responded back “Hi chin!.. Then there was “”Barbara she “Hi Antawn?..” I looked up at her I replied “Hey! Was good with cha..” looking in her eyes she said “Nothing jus hangin with “ Gurdy and “Dorese?.” “We’re going to class?..”

“Looking in her eyes?..” “I fell

like kissin her!..” Looking at “Gurdy asking her “Have you seemed jimmy?..” she replayed “I didn’t your teacher either?..” I said” there probably!. In class now!.. Getting up as I left telling gurdy “Well!.. I’m going 2 class?..” I said bye to “Gurdy and “Barbara then I hugged “Barbara giving her a kiss on the cheek, doing! The same to “Dorese walking up to class I heard “ Barbara as she comments to “Grudy “ What is he mixed with!..” (I like his hair?. Gurdy “ I don’t know?.. and those were the exact words it wasn’t until one time

53. My life’s A true story inside dis is who I be?

She came up to the classroom up stears she actually came to my class in A short Dress, make-up Lipstick And her hair all done up! ( the Dress that she was wearing)! Was poka –a- dot black And white dress “ I ‘m the computer doing my work”!.. Lunch time was coming up?..” everybody gets up leaves outta the classroom “Barbara walks up to me. “While I’m on the computer she says “ Hi Antawn ?.. sitting there with my hands on my face rubbing!.. My Hands across my face Lol!.. kinda massaging it looking at my computer screen I looked at “Barbara very excited “ What? Are you doing here?..” “ Are u looking 4 gurdy?..” She responded (Happily)!.. No! I came to see you? And that’s where we hit it off we started spending more time together, getting to know each other more, going out to lunch, it was lovly!.. this was my second Relationship!.. “ it was really a thang going on between me And, This girl name “Barbara walking on the Miami Beach Kissing, And holding hands, we laid looking at the stars, the full moon blazing across the water, you could hear the water brushing up across the sand we spend time I’ll never 4get that was special she took me to meet her family Mom, grandparents, and childhood best friends they were wonderful Saying to myself I wish I had a Best friend That I knew as a child and that I can connected with like that I smiled as I said that They were really happy for her Then! things came to a crossroad For Me and Barbara when one of her Childhood friends

54. My Relationships

Antawn Chinn

He saw me on the brench one of the brothers, I didn’t know!.. Seeing that his brother had a crush oh Barbara I guess he had An thing for her too!... he’s problem was to break me and Barbara up!..” It tore me up for A while I had to face the faces “ It was Hard I’ll admit it was!..” “It’s like Barbara was the one for me!” “ She could have been someone I could spend the rest of my life with?..” “ But! Again!?. “ It Didn’t really! Work out that way?..” Then I started talking to another girl named “Lisa but we never did meet!.. So I met “Andrea From San Bernardino California Puerto Rican Mexican and black me and her had a good thing going until some of Andreia’s family had a problem with me staying in their house “I don’t know if this was racism?..” “ Me and Andrea crab our stuff ended up going to A shelter!..” It was horror able and embarrassing?..”

57. My life’s a true story inside dis who I be?

Antawn Chinn

“ Having money for 2 weeks in an hotel?..” “And what happened!.. I had to stay in a shelter in L.A.?..”

we got some of our stuff speechless I was like!.. “What the hell is going on?..” this was not suppose to happen I rand out of “Medication, didn’t have much money, waiting for another month for some money!..” this was humiliating?” my clothes was dirty, I stop asking myself “ what the hell did you get your self into Antawn?..” In my head.

I took a bath I lost my packing bag then ended up in the L.A. Hospital in “Norwalk California, I had to make a phone call to “ Tell

my focus what happened?”

“Tryna get in contacted with

andrea?.. “shes with her Ex Boyfriend he was just getting out of jail !..” (Man!..) “I wass so fucking hurt?..” I couldn’t breath thru my nose!..” “ I was bout the curse this girl Man!..”

Getting out the hospital I had nowhere to stay so The Norwalk hospital helped me out with housing services They sent me to a palace for Indepented Living! Indepented living home. In Los Angeles on 45 veron and western, things were a little better Having to call “Grandma with who stayed in the Valley “Telling what happened?”

58. My Relationships

ByAntawn Chinn

“ That right there!..” “ Became the end right there..!” “Then, the problem with “Treese the girl in New Orleans, La again “Ended up going back 2 cali!..” Had a good thing going with “Princess until it got Bad her stepfather didn’t like me he though I wasn’t good for her!.. Then when back to San barndino Rialto Ca” met “Lori that didn’t work out because of envy issues “Lori had?.” “I’m like damn!..”

A while later!.. Home in Miami I still keep in

touch with ‘Andrea founding out she calls me tells me she’s pregnant, when I was in Los Angeles I went back home to Miami Florida, “ 4 a minute I though that I was the father?..” “ Wrong!.. “ “ I wasn’t?..”

She got a baby from her Ex Boyfriend the homie things between were not good it wasn’t working between Andrea and him, Me and Barbara were still talk!.. But it’s like I have not seen her In like a while, it’s been almost two years” Always myself I’ve Never really been in that many relationships, Haven’t that much time for love affairs really!.. “ I don’t think anything bad about Barbara?.. “She was a good women!..” Andrea was the same too!. Not a bad person she never knew how to love, didn’t know how it feels to be loved, little some of us know! Everything happens for a reason.

5.13.11

Chino~

OMG I am so glad you wrote me I’ve been worried about you I wrote you awhile back and hadn’t heard back from you. I told you my mom bought 3 Copies of your books I am so proud that you are going through with all your goals Are you still going to do the comic books. You have anything new out So what’s been going On? How are you handling the Dailysis How do they decide on kidney prospects I have Oblood is universal. I hate hearing that you’re doing bad. I kept telling you I will give a kidney. How I go bout doing that, cuz I see so much potenial in you And,

I have that it can’t be shared the way you want it

to be shared. I graduate from this program SEP. 2 and will be home shortly there after are you still staying with your Mom? If you need any help I have no problem helping. I am hoping to be able to come see you when I get out haven’t been down there in a good minute and ya’ll have way better weather then Wisconsin. Oh and I can’t call you because I can only call people collect and I don’t want to burden

you with

something like that I’ll call you the day I’m released so I can see you when I take a trip down there Don’t 4 get about me & please take care of yourself. KIERRA XOXO

5.26.11 Antawn~

Hey! What’s good? I am keeping you in my prayers. me I am doing alright at the moment. That's cool you moved in with your “Mom sometimes we have to admit we are not superman and we can’t do everything. I don’t have a place to go to yet I’m still working on those arrangements so what happened in Cali? I’m loving this paper you wrote on it’s hot! Is the title of the collection “N the eyes of A poets heart?” that's what’s up too I like that title when will it be published? I like the two poems You sent me I am going to put them in a scrap book so that you become like Edgar Alan poe (in A good way he’s  morbid) I can be like that's my friend! I will have your originals wroth tho  oh me & my Mom want you to sign our books when I come see you? I think of you a lot and can’t wait 2 see, you; so take care of yourself and stay healthy.

W/B  Luv, KIERRA

9.1.11 Chino~ Hey! Sweety I just secured your mail today they wouldn’t any one have any mail unless the people were on my voting list, I started working so that's what’s up it keeps me busy! So you should be having A transplant soon! I have been so worried about you and was in tears when I wasn’t allowed To write you back I am a worry wart I am super glad your doing better. Is the access easier on your arm or chest my Moms doing Good put you in the prayers request box and I am praying 4 you 2 Oh! And you can’t send N any cash up here they wouldn’t give me your letter Did they mail you A note? I wish you could send me some action since I’ve been deprived But all due time how are you doing well the storms down here? Your Mom doing alright? How are the comics coming along I already asked my Mom can I come visit you you And she said it was cool so I am gonna plan the month after I get out which may be between NOV 1& JAN 10 when is the best time to visit florida let me end this so I can get it out to you I miss & love you Hugs-N- Kisses / Love, Kie

11.9.11

Chino~

Hey! Sweety I am super glad I heard from you I thought I was gonna have to start a search party for you. how many times did they send back to you ? I want you to send me some pictures I’m sure you got some I wanna see you! I have 5 days I come home I wanna to plain to be To see you for Valentines Day u my money right that sound cool? My “MOM said she’s waiting 4 your next book to drop, Not much is going on! On my end MOM! Has a new boyfriend I’m glad you wrote so when I come down there what we gonna do? Is there a lot of things we can do! Will you be able to travel? I want you to meet my family MOM like you and wants to meet you plus she says she still needs her book.

Well let me end this I love & miss you take care Love

XOXO Kie XOXO

12.5.11 Antawn

Hey sweety how are you? Sorry it took so long to write you I have been working on come legal work. Since you didn’t get the pics don’t worry I have 30 DAYS and I will be home my MOM Is go to Omaha in FEB so I will be down to see you in FEB for sure if that’s cool I will more then likely be driving But! When should I come? Yeah!.. Bush is definetley the blame for how the economy is going at this time, they have it bad out there I am not looking for to struggling, that’s good you’re going to church I keep you in my prayers too! So you put me in your book I hope you put all good things in there  Oh! You don’t have the number just make sure you call at A decent time cuz she works! So you’ll catch her print those pictures my paxed page is still up really? I know my face book is up but My space & black planet I’m not sure if they are up well SORRY! So short just wanted To get back at you & let you know I’m good & will be coming home soon. I want you to get that Kidney! I love you & stay healthy I need you at your best.

Love,  Kie

WAITNG 4 A KIDNEY

veryday I wake up getting up out the bad I try to pray,

as much I can, just another day! “ I always say..!” I’m not really! sure, about because life anybody life

“Tomorrow, Today, next after not

promised. I look up at the sky say Hello!” “Good morning,, father I Said but! Heading over to dialysis, three times a week “yep!.. sitting in that chair just doing!” “What I have do to do. To beat this!..” Then! getting sick sometimes, it’s gets cold inside of the center? Just doing things sitting there

78. My life’s a tru story inside dis is who I be ?

By Antawn Chinn

Four hours occupying my mind to do something weather listening! To music, drawing, to putting something together or just watching the T.V. in the center just to kill time, this is how it is for me I’ll sit there on the machine! Bring some food just kicking back? The Doctor had tooken the foldly cathhen from my chest And “Making it easy for me to take a bath?” “ They put a garft into my right forearm!.” “Making sure everyday that I’m taking all of my medications?..” “ if everything goes how as told!.. I go on the transplant list for a kidney?. ”Witch sometimes, this could take about Two, three years to come through!” I just keep my head, praying, And going to church!.. I’m just waiting for something to happen!..” you know like blessing putting all my faith I n the hands of god he makes all things happen?, “even when you feel like nothing is going to happen!..” “Even tho sometimes I feel bad that! This even happened?..” “I don’t know!..” Things happen for many reasons, life goes on!..” “ Keep saying to myself, what’s next 4 me making it ?.., becoming successful!.. hopefully my life, my stories, tribes and tribulations, will maybe touch somebody, like me then they’ll understand that, “you can’t take life for granted, it’s too short? “ Trust me!..” I lost some of my childhood friends watching people I when to school to with, are either Locked up or dead!.. ” Now! it’s just about thinking about myself doing!. “what I have to do to Survived.” I’m 28 Years old, now I wonder is time has god spread me or spoken to me that, “ I may need to make some changes in my life,”

79.Waiting 4 A kidney

Antawn Chinn

“ I don’t know?” I smiled at myself!” I still hang, walking through the old hood every now And Then. Still go out buy! Don’t hit the clubs on the beach all the time?’ “ do the young adults?” “fighting and shooting in the clubs?.” “Now everywhere you go it’s not safe!.” “it’s not safe to go out and have fun no more!.” you can’t even go out have fun! “Now and days with shooting going on “I guess I can say Brent, and Shae, loosing woody!”

There little

brother rest in peace “Woody, And to “Travis, Derrick, fat boy and dook’s cousin may he rest in peace losing my friends “I don’t know!” sometimes, I think I want make it because my Kidney’s shutdown I ended up being the lucky one thank god.

BACK IN MIAMI

p And down round and Round!.. life take’s you all round down to

struggles! This is where I ended up back home now! Just taking it one Day at a time. Going to Dialysis three times a week doing what I have to do! To take care of myself, taking my medicine, eating right I spent most of my time sitting on the porch Drawing, and writing, cause it draws a fact of where I been or what I have seened, I’ve never Seened this coming!.. I know I was gonna be going through some struggles yea?.. I really don’t feel like I’m starting back over being!.. I’m Back at home with “Mom” until I get actually’ get on my feet? I’ma try to settle out What! I’m tryna do put my plan together, This that I’m writing! Is to understand where I’m at Now!..

81. Back In Miami

By Antawn Chinn

Now My Kidneys are down and I’m on dialysis! Waiting for a “KidneyTransplant!.. getting up out the bed washing my face eat breakfast living Every day I think of something to do I’m on my way to the library Tryna find something to do!. On the side wondering, and contemplating about when I can make it “ today!.. just another day?.. I’ll pray or probably’ go to Church on the weekends it’s Important of serving! The Lord and worshiping go back home sit up in my room with my notebook To see what I could find into writing poetry about life. Love, Feelings, hurt and Through these tough Times!.. economics, “ Wow! “ I say to myself!.. (why?) is it so hard out here!.. “ There’s No Jobs!.. No money..! people getting killed?.. “ I got friends that have died somebody’s lost their child And Somebody out there crying!.. Young black teens out here Killing! stealing it’s just too much down here Black people killing up one another I wake up asking Myself?.. Is it gonna be my last day here?.. Is some nut head gonna try and take my life And why?.. Said ‘ as I Sometimes those are my thoughts But! I Don’t know!.. Those questions are up to god” right now I just want to Make the best of what come for me be famous, have people talk About what I was great of And. The good things I did for people!.. Giving back so I’m just putting my work together living! As time fly’s?..

82. Life’s a tru story N side dis who I be?

Antawn Chinn

I Have met a lot on new friends while being in California” back at Home In “Miami I’ll have some of my friends There’s “Shamekia she’ll call me sometimes!.. If she has time to see how I’m doing!.. She’s cool.. She’s A friend I’ve on” Mocospace” when I came to cali I always try to see if I can meet with her..? I never met her before!.. As for the girl a was talking too out there! “Andrea my ex!.. we talk Often!.. That’s if she isn’t spending hold the time with her Son?.. My friends they Really!.. Miss me a lot but I don’t plant on going back outta town!... Not just yet.

Do to the “fact of my health problem occurring?..

I Some of the time keep in touch with another friend who I met from California out of fresno “Christina I felt so much in love with her. Wow! Really…! I do would love to meet her who is she..! Ohh!. just someone That I’ve met on a chat line page found out she had A “Face book” page, So I fallowed on from there sometime most doing the Nights I’ll call her And, we’ll have our little phone conversations every Now and Then. “Christina is some kind of a women that seems Mellow!!! with in her own ways I don’t even know yet..! Coming back to Cali” But I never went to Fresno to go and meet her Right now!... I’m really tryna worry about me..! Do what I have to do for myself.?.. hoping that I’ll be alright about these problems in my lifefacing this change of the problem here in life is important So I’m taking care of me first?.. I think of all my friends, My family sister brothers “Mom And “ Dad hoping that their gonna be Okay!

83. Back In Miami

By Antawn Chinn

Then! Go and write to my second good friend Who? I hope is doing good every day!.. Keeping her head up in the world “ Kerria she was Another one that I met I never got a chance with her. We met on a chat line called “Paxed giving me her phone number I stared calling her sometimes so we would get to know each other. “Kerria was probably talking or involved with some at the time it’s years!.. I haven’t spoken to her after I took the trip outta Town I called her And. Her mom told me that “Kerria was locked up! my heart kind of dropped when I heard that “ Saying to myself why?.. how did she get into something like this!...” People are always putting somebody in something!.. “ Even if you tryna do good?.. “ But yea!.. I wrote s a lot of letters also sending drawing that I drew up Witch I hope that she would be getting I pray they’ll let “Kerria out!.. Let her do.. What she has to do..! “And live life writing these poems to her?” “ She wrote me back I was never the only one taking mail out of the box I just seen Mom told that I had a letter on my bed it said Kerria?.. “ “ I was like Wow!..” “ I haven’t not spoken to her in a while…?”

84. My Lifes A tru Story N side dis who I be?

Antawn Chinn

“See This is why I say when things happened they happened!.. you never know when they happened until it happens..? ” but I keep sending “Kerria some letters while she was locked up maybe!.. it made her feel more comfortable!.. “Nobody feels comfortable At being locked up with nothing to make them feel open minded. Sending her those letters made her feel Happy, loving, I’m thinking! about her I love my new friends weather!.. new or old Don’t matter I love e’m all I lost some of them school classmate friends childhood friends we have to make some changes for real. Because you never know!.. when it could be your turnto go! Anybody body could do something to somebody The world we live in Today!.. sick, twisted people… can just take your life Every day I weak out of my bed sometimes I Pray pick up the Bible reading! Contemplating on and on bout life is there still gonna be hope out here?.. is thing all in the world gonna be better or fall.. trying to have good relationship with my parents “ Now! Since I’m back home?.. “ “ My kidney’s shut down god I’m on Dialysis!..” Right now I’m Doing some thinking..! “Mom and I use to fight at a times “ cause she didn’t understand what I was feeling at the time?...” sitting down I’ll talk with her let her know that how I feel?.. what’s going on but at time I can’t explain everything at times There’s!.. just things that some things “Moms won’t understand that I go thru in my life. “She know that it hasn’t been easy!..” That time my “Mom And, Father wasn’t together? ” It was hard on me and my “Lil Brother we needed our father to teach Us how to Make some choices Now!. I go and sit and talk with my father I basically I’m starting to build a relationship with him.

85. Back In Maim

By Antawn Chinn

“ I Might not come around all the time?..” I’m so busy doing things For myself?..” “ I come around often and tell him I love him!..” “ I stay with moms?.. “ “ Moms knows I love her.. my “ Mother has been there for me all my life When I was a baby Sick I really! Feel like I owe her a lot Cause she was there from the Hospital taking care of me moms was a angel watching Over me man! my sister, my Lil Brother I’m spending a lot Of time with them. My parents are my pride and joy Trying sometimes To honor them both cause they might not always be around all the time Some of my friends!.. lost their parents I Thank god first for all of my life for them still being here as me living with “Mom” going to church serving the lord!.. he becomes my strength. My covering , and sheld the one king of a healer?.. So yes this is what I’m now doing!

Back In

Miami writing, And Drawing tryna put out things living still standing Waiting to become somebody!.. “ I felt like now I have a lot say?”.. A lot to do!” were placed here on this earth for some reason But! Sometimes we don’t know why?.. or what was the answers I think god Has the answer to all those questions..?

STRANGE DREAMS

Remember staying with my High school class mate Ronald at that

then I think I was going into the hospital when they were about to put me on Dialysis’ the doctor said that my kidneys were shutting down!.. “ Couldn’t place in the back of my mind!..” “ What?.. was going on..!” Just think about God!.. is this it for me?.. as I said ” I Can’t get into College?..” everybody shady then..! I can’t get a standard diploma!.. As I was saying “ What the hell is going on?... “ “ I Need to get A Kidney..?” Then ! One nigh sleep in the hospital all I can remember staring down at the city Light lighting! Up “ The city of Miami “ I close my eyes falling asleep!.. I had the Strangest dream something!.“ About somebody? trying 2 kill me!..” Some boys felt like I was in another world this is a dream?..

91. Strange Dreams

By Antawn Chinn

“ It was still dark!.” “ I’m sitting in the Bed!.. “ Thinking as it’s so damn cold in this room!..” I had get to up to use the bathroom Laughing, “ I been sleepwalking!.. I don’t what happened?.. “I just went back to sleep wake up sitting up In the bed I started talking to myself

crabbing my notebook And,

wrote A poem Calling it “ Strange Dreams” I Didn’t know what to say?.. All I know is “ I woke up And it scared the Shit out of me!.. “ “ Then it’s morning time “ Hearing the sound of the door opens?..” “ As Doctor said “ Good morning Mr. Chinn!.. How r u feeling?.. I answered “I’m fine sir!..” But!..” thinking as I just there worried!..” “ their going to put me on Dialysis!.. My kidneys had failed Scary!!! “ Mom comes into The room she said “ See I told you?..” “ I told now! Their gonna put you on that machine”. Sometimes people don’t understand sitting there listening!.. Mom!.. Carrying on day dreaming staring at this wall by the T.V. Probably thinking! “ I don’t remember what’s going on?..” It felt like I was tide of my mother saying!.. “ there gonna put you on that machine?..” “ You not gone like that ?..”

92. My Life’s A tru story inside Dis is who I be?

By Antawn Chinn

“ And when you die?..” “ You don’t come back!..” No! I wasn’t looking at that scared as I was I kept being strong saying to myself, “ I’ll get though to this!..” “ I’m gonna make this?..” “ I’mstrong Seeing my dreams, My hopes, everything I wanted to become going down “ But!.. what happened L.A. wasn’t good for me” “Mom didn’t mean it I can see it in her eyes that she was afraid?.. too for me!.. I felt that I did nothing wrong I had to fallow my heart “ getting where I wanted to be?..” “What I had to see I got in the middle of some broken concretes California right now!..” “ wasn’t met to be it got hard out here!..” I wasn’t gonna give up I had to still fallow my dreams. “ No matter what?.. “ You see their was a lot of people coming Form different states in downtown L.A. they were homeless, Stuck Without no money, No place to stay, just stuck, “ just standing their!..” Trying to make it if you want to get in Hollywood you have to able to go for the ride? And everything that comes with that Of Course there were other ways of making it!.” But!.. I was not trying to sale my soul To nobody!.. “I was not going to play sell your soul to the devil?..”

The ones that already did it..! is a reason why?... their walking Around like there lost cause they don’t have one “Anymore! said

A LETTER 2 SPEAK MY PEACE

was always constantly! Thinking about what’s going on in the

world Seeing all these things happening!” Things happening to my friends, watching the day in the after life damn!” times are changing People you grew up with “you see them” U don’t remember them either they been “ Somewhere else” or “ Locked up!.” it just goes to you how things go! How time fly’s by so fast I mean people’s you knew Your hold life?. Weather it was as a child someone you went To school with” just isn’t here anymore!.. just a memory is left of them!.. And it’s strange cause I can still hear some them!.. “ their voices calling in my where ever He or She may be up there!..” I Can feel their presents this is why?..” I feel if something was to happened to me?.. I worte about what I did?.. How I wanted it?.. And, what I’ve felt talking bout my last words.

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102. My Life’s A tru story inside dis who I be?

By Antawn Chinn

I always felt like I have to write about it so it came to me so ” Waking up In the morning?..” I wrote A poem of I had I had to say As I had a dream of I had to say. I sitting in the bed with the sheets Pulled over me I pulling over the curtain jumping out my sleep “Didn’t remember it just was something I had to write!..”

MY LIFE IS NOT MY OWN

feel the urge to have said that Because looking at life in 2011 today

as I speak you got all these youngsters adults in my time tryna worry about all this materiel stuff today who be riding in nice cars, wearing clothes, that they would see these rap stars entertainers, in sporting, Nice jewelry, cursing popping all these bottles of champagne glamourizing People out there!.. with things that they don’t even have instead of Us worrying bout what’s really going on!.. what’s happening people killing fighting in Clubs I mean some runnie up on someone Robbing, Jacking, taking their life. They don’t see that they just worry about fantasy Shoes clothes instead of thanking! god for giving breath And

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112. My Life’s not my own?

By: Antawn Chinn

Strength seeing another Today some of us don’t think about if we’re Gonna see Today or Tomorrow people losing!.. families, losing Friends, “ I say to myself what is wrong with this young youth today?..” Living in this high class lifestyle “ living in a glamorous world females throwing them self’s out there for money sleeping!..” with other people And “ it’s so many sexually transmitted diseases in the world curl And. Evil things look at this I’m just saying “ Thank him!..” for the life you have Today! because “ someone will try to harm you Or kill you!.. Sometimes I wonder when things happen in the world As I think about it my life is not own?..

I want to say that this is why I thank him for everything! I have As i am still here writing, drawing, my creative passion for what I do! Food and nourishment, roofing over my head. “ Right now! I may feel at sometimes that, I do not have what I wanted now!..” but I’m glad to say that I am bless!..” Alive, sitting, standing. Breathing. “ The trip in cali could have been my last breath of life?..”

LIVING ON 1 KIDNEY

Came into the world with my sister this is the other half of me I

Had to stay in the Hospital a little more longer when Mom carried us at birth me And Siss one of us was going home! Mom” Said?.. When she was pregnant?.” Doctor said that it was something wrong with one of twins!..”

the boy!..” something with his kidneys

are not

functioning, his right kidney’s not working!.. that why my body wasn’t developing. These is when Mom” thought my life was taking a down

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113. My Life’s A true story inside dis is who I be By Antawn Chinn

turn there was A blockage in my “Urinary area it was like this red circle opening spot That. I was urinating from down below my stomach area Right down my Belly button I guess it was attached to my bladder this was like really offal cause I was a little Kid, I would go to the bathroom using a plastic bag at the age of four or five years old taking all these medcations, And stuff all kind of different antboiatics “Moms told said “ that I had to get shots in the foot as a baby?” “Sending time just in and out in And. Out the hospitals

“ going thru these times ruff I tell you?” Every time” I would say to myself why me!..” “ The eldest child why?..”

I have to go thru these

problems?..” My Sister didn’t come out like this!..”

She Didn’t come out like this with any Complications’ of sickness condition I had to deal with all this I hated it having to deal with this “ It apart of my life?..” some of us Didn’t really want to come out in such away the way we were born all I could say God!.. has every reason, to put something’s And problems in us to make us see really show us things when we don’t want to see it at the age of ten is when I went back into the hospital? I had surgery I had my stomach closed from the red spot that I had above my bladder and then my Right kidney! Removed trying to see if I came to concultion learning.

114. Living on 1 kidney

By Antawn Chinn

How to use the bathroom on my own this still had not to seem be working!.. I was always, Still wetting the bed?.. And, pissing in my clothes!.. witch was still so very embarrassing I mean it was hard “Those out there!.. who are out there in the world will never understand my pain!..” some people don’t understand what? It is to be disable Sometimes spend your hold life being picked on not being able to play sports,

basketball,

football,

any

other

People really! Don’t “ put yourself inside my shoes?”

activities, Then ask

yourself.. see what It feels like?.. for all of the people with nothing! wrong with them. Who didn’t have to sit up in the hospital every Month, or week, feeling pain, “getting cut up all the time?” most of the people thinks that it feels pretty good!. Because you get a SSI Check every month But!.. that’s just the reality behind life’s problems. “ Some of us can’t even work” “ Didn’t realize until I got on dialysis?.. ” I never thought of that it been some years I had the lifekidney! Going, remember going out of town to California I had a girlfriend out their it wasn’t working out between us. Trying to get someone who can help put out my artwork And, get published!..” in the meantime’ Guess! I could say?.. I rand into somebody “Keeva she was a friend met in L.A. Downtown from Tallahassee Florida, came to California on a hustle running a barbershop in clothing store. Called “Clubhouse clothing” she saw me walking And down the streets when I ended up getting stranded. I told her that I was from out town caring my drawing book at hands she asked me “ Are those your drawings in that book?..” I reply to her?.. “Yes they are ?..

115. My Life’s A tru story inside dis who I be?

By Antawn Chinn

I had a girlfriend out here in Los Angeles And, Things weren’t working out But!.. I also have family out here in California, I also came out here to get discovered and that, I am a Artist who want to make it?.. wanting! to see if I can get A job staying on my feet out there! “ things were not working between me And, “Andreia “ telling “Keeva that I went my own way!.” She said” Where r u from?.. I told her “I’m from outta town Miami Florida?.. She said” Miami!.. u my peoples!..” I asked her where u from!..” she says” Tallahassee Florida?.. “

I was

shocked because she was where singer T- Pain is from “Keeva” Helped me?.. put money in pocket And went and treated me to something to eat she wanted me to work for her and then she would help get on my feet but! Had to go back home didn’t know what I was gonna do!.” I’m going back to Miami, stayed with my High School Classmate “Ronald” I went back to Mom’s house things wasn’t working! I’m running in circles went back to “Ronald’s House things was just getting hard for me. “ I’m like god!.., “ When am I gonna get my chance?..

Steady

“runnin,

runnin,

out

town!..

Tried going back to school things were feeling so slow to me then, I published a Book with A self- publishing company with XlibrisPublishing A collection of poems, drawings, and pictures of me that I had long went I was younger kept and wanted to publish I called the book “ The art diary of spoken wordz” took a trip to New Orleans meeting a girl even selling, my Books out there! Trying to see if I could open mic night to promote my book because new Orleans!

116. Living on 1 kidney

By Antawn Chinn

Is A famous jazz and poetry French creole’ town it’s full of good food. Things got kinda upside down I ended up leaving a month later, “cause I got in the middle of some fuss straighten?” sayin, “Here we go again!.,

“All I thought of

I didn’t have time for all this, The

Doctor’s got me on all this medication, my life took a quick change on me, cause I started facing the real world my Kidney’s weren’t doing good they were failing I was missing some of appointments, that I was supposed to be attending, so I was really on A burning road needing a Kidney soon?..” I was gonna be put on Dialysis but!

“I

wasn’t getting on it?” I had sat there taking this medicine for weeks! And, months that past “Hang in there Antawn?” I said my Mom” couldn’t give me one of her kidneys! “My Dad” has A heart problem!..” ,My sister and lil’ Brother didn’t wanna give me one But! I Didn’t want nothing to happen to them. “They’ll be messed up! “I don’t know! staying with my high school classmate while we were sitting in his room down stears

“What?.. are you gon do!..” Ronald said

“ I don’t know?..” I reply “The doctor said if I wasn’t able to get A kidney!..

That

they

would

get

one?..”

feeling lost and little confused again leaving Miami, went back to California, wasn’t actually suppose to leave it tough being disable and trying to make something for yourself through the fusstraightions and problems, nomore.

down in florida going I left I couldn’t take it

I MADE A MISTAKE IT’S OK!..

here Did they took me is to A Correctional Center it wasn’t

prison And it wasn’t not jail it Didn’t feel like Jail!..”

cause it’s got

teenagers and adults too!.. man I didn’t feel like being here?.. “ And the only thing I could keep thinking about is what happened! At “ Tawana’s house with her neighbor, late last night it was A Friday or Saturday, I can’t remember? “ Saying to myself as I sit here thinking! As I “Said thinking all I said?.. Sir! Hold on what’s going on!.., that's all I said?..

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121. My life’s a tru story inside dis who I be

Antawn Chinn

To find out what happened, finding out why? Why! Was “Chris my best friends 15 year old oldest son, And the home girl “Jennifer to see who they were fighting, I heard noises then, it got louder sitting on my best friends porch just watching her uncle waiting for her to come home.

Walking to the back house I heard Jennifer, Chris and mike talking loud with the neighbor I ‘m rushing to the back “Saying!” Whoa! Whoa .. whuz going on!.. “The neighbor Approches me very rudly!

Saying” what this punk

muthafucker gone do!.” “Shit! What’s this punk ass nigga gone do!..” “I Didn’t say nothing slick out my mouth? “ I just wanted to know what? Happened!..” He’s cursing me out coming at me like he wants to fight. Me!” “I’m like ahh C’mon!.. “ “ don’t be trying to fight me!..” “ I’m sick I have this dialysis access in my arm?..”

saying in my head he runs up off the porch I backed up cause I got scared!.. Chris, Jennifer And the rest of “Chris friends, they came up he got back on the porch.

122. I Made A Mistake It’s okay!...

Antawn Chinn

Running back over to “Bestie’s house picking up marchte off the porch by Tawana’s house porch! I had to defend myself, “Walking fast!..” “Cause the neighbor has me so heated?..” “Rushing in the backyard Now! I “ was only bout five, six steps away from this mans porch?.”

Standing in the Black shirt, with my childhood friends picture on it Black shorts, walking up to his porch I said “Run up.!. “Run up!.. on me and I’ll chop off one of your arms?..

that's what I said

if he try to fight me!

I wanted to know what

happened? So I could tell my best friend when she gets home from work finding out what happened!.. “ But!.. how you gone fight me I’m on dialysis!..” “This mess was crazy man?..”

The neighbor he calls the Miami Dade county police, little did I know all upset, and angry!.. my blood pressures up was up heart beating fast stressed, little did I know mad, And angry, little did I know about the stuff that was going on trying to hide the knife

in Chris friends car

this merchte was my Moms trying to throw it the bushes, walking away fast.

123. My Life’s A tru story inside dis who I be? Antawn Chinn “I had to use my head!.. “ saying!.. let me put this thing up?..” “Before he calls the police!” This aurging was still going on all night!.. And all night my best friend’s “ Uncle was sitting on the porch with a clothes bag Soon, I heard the sirens of polices coming, “Shit!.., He called the police?..”

Hold bund of police coming out of nowhere! Like somebody Got shot and was something big!.. Next thing I know they cuff us, Putting both in the police car together it was crazy, “Didn’t know what to say?..” They didn’t know what had happened so my Best friend pulls up Get out her car trying to tell them!.. “What’s going on!.. “ No one said nothing!..

Laughing, to myself A lot was on my head I should just stayed my ass home man, knew something was going to happen like this,

AS I SIT HERE THINKING!

ea I sat in here thinking, wondering my head’s filled

with ideals actually I was locked up using the little bit of paper, that I had I was so bougtherd and upset that I could not write the rest of “ What I had to say?..” so I had to hole It in me Boy!..” my heads hurtin, cause I felt “Bad bout me being locked up!..” Man.., it made no sense for the police to take the neighbors side Like that as I said “Thinking hard but!..” Alright he’ll get his!.” I knew I had to face something one day? I was just holding on Trying keep my head up I’ve never been locked up!.. I made a Mistake?” I’ll be out of here real soon!!! When you do something Like this!..” you have to do a couple of days, 125

126. My Life’s A Tru story inside dis who I be? Antawn Chinn

That’s what some of these inmates were telling me I was associating with said? The homie “Kenneth, and Damian, “While they had us out the cells hanging out!. “With the rest of the other inmates..!

One Good dude I met up in there an Jamaican inmate that Was something like an Ex Trafficker, or Shotta, “He explained to me why?. And, what he was in for “And what had happened?.. “ He worked out, cut hair he was damian?.. “Calling him Louis or lewis sorry!.. But anyway! Yea “Lews he said,” You’re going to do twenty one days..! “Then, they’ll let you go?. I was like really!.. my court date was july 5, 2012 but I didn’t want to wait that long I wanted to go I had things to do I didn’t want ro be there!., for the fifth of next month I wanted to be ho me with my family, relaxing, eating, popping firework for the forth of july I “Feeling so bad!.” “I’m sitting in here just thinking!” what happened..?” I laugh just trying not to cry.

127. As I sit here thinking!

Antawn Chinn

As my heart pumps Man!’ Don’t show this side now..!, I was scared?” I’ll admit it..” like 2 Pac said” you think jails the spot it ain’t?” It’s really not!” ‘You got people telling’ you what to do!. “When to wake up and eat?” ‘And when to take a bath, “Shit! Was crazy!..” Then, when you want to create draw work on something you can’t do it you lose your focus in here locked up, it kills your spirit inspiration the walls make you feel closed just like when you come up, from the deepest part of the water then, “ you got to come up for air or you’ll die that’s how I felt?” I couldn’t function I didn’t ever want to end up like this again. For me this was a lesson I had to learn from “ sitting up in this cell I’m starting! to think?”.. Listening! To what people Always told me when I was little very young knowing them coming up when I when to Middle school with them, just right across form Edison Senior high school, “ I went to both of e’m!..” there were a hole lot of students doing! a lot of things getting in trouble, man!.. Disrespecting teachers, skipping class, “sneaking food inside the class when they weren’t suppose to talking back!”.. “Me I was a good kid always?..” doing my work keeping my head in the books “Good boy?.” After then! I would sit in the back of the class drawing my mind away?..” I would draw a lot of attention in the class LOL!..”

128. My life’s A tru story inside dis who I be? Antawn Chinn

“Laughing cause me drawing I would even draw on the class table I was sitting at?..” “This what I did?..” “It’s what I knew,..! “Nothing else..?” Been at this since I was seven or eight years old?”.. Taking up art classes, sitting in there!..” As I would put in the time towards perfecting my craft?..” Being in the Ninth grade having a creative, mind felt good to me my art teacher was Ms. Jennifer Rogers, As she would walk around the classroom watching me draw And, Draw my heart away wondering if I was going to make a career Out of this as I finished High school or go off to College to become an Artist, “And that’s what I became?...” I wasn’t able to go to a university college because I had completed High school under special education credits I completed by completing electives, I had no G.PA. I didn’t pass the FCAT or HSCT (The High School Complimentary Test) I feeling like I have not done anything and passed going to night school classes I felt like this was not working!” because it took To long people! Don’t know they don’t understand how I felt As if I was going around in circles, “you spent most of your life, Trying make something out of yourself ?” people are Racist, hateful, cruel, some have no heart for nothing. They want to see you down “Saying In my mind, “As I was in jail, sitting on this hard ass bump bed”.

A DRAWING 4 LETTERS AND TEARS

Say that because Everything, that I’ve went through that mean’s

What I felt I saw as a picture of artistic thoughts in my mind, I saw me writing letters of poems, about Love and having feelings For someone I’m attracted to liked I had some hard times where I could not get a girl off my mind. Then I’ve had friends stabbing me Inside of my back, I was trying to get certain places “You know!.. “Just wasn’t happening right now! “ It wasn’t the right time for me!.. To make it saying to myself?” But!.. I have deal with this Living! with renal chronic kidney failure, not being able to doing Anything! Physically active, as sports or thing to do with weight 129

130. My Life’s a tru Story inside dis who I be

Antawn Chinn

Training lifting, not able to do a lot of manly things, made me feel Like I was weak more less of a strong man. “Made me feel bad!.. “ I cry my anger and stress out?..” “To Introducing myself to drawing speaking art?..” “ Mixing them with words,.” This is not something! That I make up This came from things that I’ve been through I was holding in me years, I’ve hailed this turning, in to picture of sketches, inking’s Creating a still life about my own feeling’s But! Most people Are not to good with seeing those things!, what other people’s life Is like on the other side, “What are you going thru understanding!. Knowing about this when I was a teenager, the world was going to crumble, things was going to get harder “And they Did?.. I was a little slow on mathematic problems, also Parts of my Reading punctuation, But! that was everybody.! “For those of you who don’t want to admit it?.. It’s okay!.. “This is why? I could not go to a private university college? “Graduating, with a special diploma from high school!.. “And no grade point average it wouldn’t get me nowhere!.. “Just saying or showing I completed high school?.. Couldn’t get into any private colleges, making my own way Everyday Writing, and drawing, looking to work publish getting established Hopefully! I can make it on my own because that’s the way it is in the ending.

131. A Drawing book 4 Letter’s and Tears

Antawn Chinn

“Everybody’s establishing, their own Especially! where I’m from The city of Miami, Florida here it’s A bunch of Conner stores, owned by Arabic’s, Black’s mainly some coming! from the West Indies There’s Jamaican’s, Cubans, Haitians Puerto Ricans then there’s Centro America remember, A time the real Americans are the owner ship of the land were Indians this was way back in the 1800 and 1900’s before I was even thought we all know who stared history And who didn’t “mmm! “You’ll grow you whole Entire life trying to figure out about life and sometimes, everything is not on point but your life what I’ve always wanted to find out my whole entire life was the truth, the real answer me myself a hold lot of questions to my “Grandmother, I appear to be one of the lost Indians my grandma she told that her Grandma my great grandmother is “Blackfoot Indian I find out that My Fathers, “Mother is Indian her grandmother is a Choctaw I knew about my great grandfather being Chinese But! I just find out I feel like I have a lot to learn, Discover about my bout other side of my family!, Knowing that my grandmother doesn’t know everything bout her blackfoot side or bout being a black foot Indian “Witch is why I am going too!, find out about my great grandparents roots, search through their The black foot nation see who she was what were the Indians like And, “What did they do!, “ Always trying to find out why did I always feel so special? all the time I was walking around as if I was looking for something! “Well I find it the other side of where I come from.

MY BESTFRIEND TAWANA

nowing Tawana for a little over Five or Six years is the start is

how we became besties, “That’s best friends!.. it wasn’t until I became A member of my childhood friend’s grandmothers postor’s Church, I saw her as “Pastor Hobbs introduced me to tawana as I would try to remember her face become was so familiar about all the people I had grew up and went to school with but!.. Tawana was three years, Older then myself

she went to “ Miami Edison senior High school she

graduated in the class of 1998 she was hanging with of the friends I grew up with since I was younger –

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133. My Life’s A tru story inside dis who I be

Antawn Chinn

She also stay right down the street on 59th Street but she stayed on 60th and fifth, “Tawana was a hustler, Drug dealer, robber, and stripper, Done a lot of things in her life But we all did raised in the streets, Is mostly what she learned about was life for her coming from Lafayette, LA her mother brought to Miami, Florida we never got to meet each other on A closer level I came around more and started talking memories of school days founding out she was “Raped sexually! Molested, Abused had me missed up cause “I didn’t know any of that?. “I really Didn’t know her at the time!.. “But! Sometimes I try to understand ”Tawana?. “I did know her..! founding out I sit and talk with bestie, we’ll hang out, mingle, laugh go out sitting! back when she told me some offal Disturbing hurting times, About her being in a four year abused relationship with her Babies daddy it was really disturbing I didn’t want to hear it. He sadly harmily beats her punching! On her stomping, to the ground so brutally “sitting! There as my best friend, Cry’s out to me on the front porch? I’m sat there watching this girl Chat on about! She was in a very abusive relationship? This ripped me tore me apart to hear my best friend was beat on Accusing her of cheating on him with other guys and tells her that He wants to kill her? Looking up at her Babies daddy saying” Why? “I have not done nothing! Telling me she’s broken down I Said” Lord why? Why do people do such things, why would he do things? Like that 2 her? All of this play’s in the back of tawana’s mind while she was pregnant with her last child sitting there locked in her room!. , writing notes in her journal writing bout her problems comes in to the room takes her stuff and rips it up.

The Story About Tawana?

Antawn Chinn

I said to myself I’m sitting there on the porch right side her stearing down at the ground looking straight thinking! “What Could she have done god..! “For man! A fucking human being! “ treating another human being A women like that. Now sometimes, “Tawana might have had some stubborn ways but she’s one of most loyal, loving, sweetest, and kind persons. And a real Best friend admitting! And telling “Tawana how I felt about her!.. at the same time I was in love with my Best friend She wasn’t ready right now! I understood why?.. This broke my best friends and for her not to put her trust in any man because of what happened to her as a child, going through A lot Losing her Mother As she on Dialysis just as I was Always telling bestie that her mother is always around smiling!. And looking down on her and three Grand Children sometimes, Asking myself a lot things happen to us as we go on ”And we don’t Know why?.. but! “We never know just ask god why?.. “Everything happens for a reason life goes on!.. So does time?.. “ Cause it doesn’t wait for on one.