Men in Progress | Jan 2015

Volume 4 / Issue 11 / 2015

In This Issue:

The Builder Courting the Right Way Real Men Version 2.0

You’re the Man! Are You Ready for a Steady?

Gadgets & Gizmos Confessions of an Ex-Tech Dummy The Gym Zumba: Exercise in Disguise

“The human heart has a way of making itself large again even after it’s been broken into a million pieces.” ― Robert James Waller, The Bridges of Madison County

The Builder

Courting the Right Way

Y

by Revodem Avarientos

ou think you found the woman you want to marry. You share the same faith in Jesus, and have prayed for her many times. Now, you want go beyond the ‘friend zone’. Before moving to unchartered territory, here are some precautionary steps to take so you will enjoy courtship and spare yourself unnecessary hurt.

God is number # 1. Your relationship with God should be the first priority in your life. All things fall into the right perspective when we look at things through God’s viewpoint. If you put God first, and follow His Word, then you will have a clear understanding of what is right and wrong. If you are unsure, ask yourself this one question: “What would God say about this?”

Develop the friendship. You think you know her well? I am sure there’s still so much to discover about her. Spending more time with her will allow you to know her better.

Court with marriage as the goal. Make sure that when you start the courtship process, you do so with the intention of marriage. As Jesus loves His Church, so you should treat her kindly with love and respect. Have pure intentions and, wait for God’s perfect time for marriage.

Give her space, enjoy your own. While spending more time with her, remember that she is her own person. Give her space so she can enjoy life.

Cherish her individuality. Make time to enjoy your life as well, so that when you meet, there will be fresh excitement and new things to share with each other.

Be accountable to someone. It is important to share your intentions with a mature Christian brother so you can receive sound advice. Being accountable will help ensure that you will not do anything inappropriate, during the courting process.

Courting is an adventure, with its highs and lows. Remember to pray, obey, and trust God!

1 Timothy 5:1-2, “Rebuke not an elder, but entreat him as a father, and the younger men as brethren; the elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters with all purity.”

Real Men

Version 2.0

by Joshua Kho

For years now, Mr. Ricardo Bongato, has been a blessing and a friend. I admire his resolve to show the Christlikeness in his current relationship. Having learned a lot from past heart aches, he treasures his relationship now. Version 2.0 is his story.

How many broken relationships have you been through?

M

adami, kasi focused ka sa wants! For example you met a girl, nagustuhan mo, physically, how she talks, how she entertains, but deep inside alam mo na hindi siya yung kailangan mo. It turns out na may nakita ka na hindi mo gusto sa kanya, vice versa. Eventually mag die-down ‘yung relationship. Yung sister ng best friend ko ang nagka-impact talaga sa akin.

Nakikita ko sister n’ya kasi lagi ako nasa bahay nila at naging good friends kami. I gave her gifts during Christmas and Valentines. Nagkaroon kami ng mutual understanding, pero hindi nag -workout kasi yung purpose at intentions ko ay hindi clear. Naging selfish at very immature kami to the point na we compare ourselves to other people. We broke up later.

Ano naramdaman mo nung breakup? How did you picked yourself up?

Nawala ang sense of significance ko, kasi yung feeling na lagi kang kasama, tapos bigla kang inalis. In a week, wala na kaming communication agad. As a person you would look immediately for a way out and to mend yung hurt. Naghanap ako ng mga kaibigan at nag-iinom na ako. May regret pa na… “Ok pa sana eh, pero wala na.”

Pero, nandun si God. He used people to reach out to me- small group, discipleship training sa church, at mentors din. He really helped me recover. Despite of all the failures, God remains faithful. My family made sure that I would feel accepted and loved. 1 Corinthians 13:13: “And now these three remain: faith, hope and love.

But the greatest of these is love”, sustained me.

During my healing period nakilala ko talaga si God, and He gradually filled the void from the break-up. Through the encouragements ng mga ka-small groups ko, healing came and I was able to move on.

Kamusta journey mo with Yhe, the one God has prepared for you?

First we would see each other as friends, then I began to pray for her- “Lord I really would love to know this person more.” I told her how I felt about her, in a very straight forward way.

Then, I started to court her. May times na may conflict kami…I learned that we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Pero grace changes everything, and that God would fill everything that you need. We need to guard our hearts and be accountable to others.

I appreciate this great relationship, pero, hindi ok agad agad. When we encounter problems I always remind her that “WE is greater than YOU or ME.”. WE: being God, Yhe and me. We are stronger together. When we face problems it’s always ME, but that it should always be WE. I am reminded of Galatians 5:22-23, the Fruit of the Holy Spirit, ‘yun ang need ko sa relationship namin, like peace and self-control.

What’s your advice for the brokenhearted?

This too shall pass. The grace of God will change everything. You need to be in a position where you are not dependent on a single person only. Join a support group where you will experience the love of God and look for opportunities to share this love.

You’re The Man!

Are You Ready for a Steady? by Jesse C. Felizardo

C

hoosing a life time partner is the second most important decision after commitment to Christ. Do it with care for it may greatly affect life after marriage. Here are some principles for choosing Ms. Right: Right Timing – Before dating and courting, consider your physical, emotional and spiritual maturity, and financial capability. Pray in advance for your future mate.

Commitment – Matthew 19:5 tells us that true love involves cleaving commitment. Relationships based on infatuation and physical attraction alone are often short-lived. Likewise, unchecked physical and emotional impulses may often lead to unwanted pregnancies, pre- and extra-marital affairs.

In the Lord - I Corinthians 7:39 reads, ”…she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord.” Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, chose their wives from their own clan. Marrying someone outside God’s will is costly. Consider Samson’s downfall because of his illicit relationship with Delilah, a non-Israelite.

In the Same Direction - A horse and a carabao pulling a cart together will likely tear the cart apart because of difference in pace. My wife and I claimed Jeremiah 32:38-39 before our marriage. It says, “They will be my people, and I will be their God. I will give them singleness of heart and action, so that they will always fear me…”

We don’t necessarily always agree. But, we prayerfully decide together, especially on important issues and then hand-in-hand, we move in one direction. I call this “living as one flesh”.

Right Heart –Know how your prospect relates to immediate relatives. It will most likely be the same with you when you are together. Men especially put on impressive masks to win the girl during the courtship Continued on page 4

Gadgets & Gizmos

Confessions of an Ex-Tech Dummy Alvin Tud

“….processor speeds or the over-all processing power for computers will double every two years.” - Moore’s Law

T

echnological change is happening in a flash.

Computers and internet speeds become faster in just months. This leaves many of us unable to keep up, much more understand the complexities of information technology. For some, this is frustrating and humbling. But, there’s hope for “tech dummies” like us.

I once shed tears literally over my inability to use MS Word 95 in college, while my fellow students gleefully explore the wonders of this “new word processor.” Here’s some things I learned about being a tech dummy, that might help if you are an alien in this “cyber world”: Gadgets and technology can be learned no matter how complicated they seem. When I was using Wordstar in college, MS Word 95 seemed so difficult. I haven’t used all Word functions though, but now it’s easy. I guess it takes patience and the will to learn a new thing. Today, when learning about complicated applications, I ask others to help me.

Gadgets and technology do not define us.

Some men think that if they possess the latest and the best, they are better than others.

Real men are defined by the quality of their character, relationships and work. Gadgets are mere tools waiting to be used. I guess learning to be better in character and relationships is harder than learning about gadgets.

I recently read in yahoo news that Stephen Hawking, the brilliant scientist said that in the future artificial intelligence might be the end of humanity, like scenes from the Terminator movie series. Probably possible in a world without God, but I don’t believe so. Then and now, gadgets and technology are tools to make life on earth better, or worse but, they won’t overpower us.

You feel you’re a tech dummy? You don’t need to remain that way. I was, not any more.

I am still in tech “grade school”, but I keep on learning, asking, and trying. I don’t cry over html anymore.

The Gym

Zumba: Exercise in Disguise

by Joses Calusay

“W

hat do you do in Zumba?” “It’s cardio, right?” “Is it a dance class?” People ask me these questions when they learn I am a licensed Zumba instructor, the first in Roxas City, Capiz. With all conviction I tell them that Zumba is not just training your body, it’s more than cardio exercise. In Zumba fitness, you train your soul. We don’t just dance - we fly!

On my first month of doing classes at the Capiz Gymnasium, my students would come wearing black or grey. But after four months, I felt like I was teaching a crowd of gummy bears!

They were coming to class wearing clothes of different colors—colors that say they are inspired. Inspired students are always looking forward to that “Zumba feeling” of being super successful! A lawyer once said this after my class: “Most of what we’re doing at the office is just waiting for 4pm – Zumba!”

Zumba is an exercise in disguise.

You’ll lose weight and tone your muscles without even knowing it, through a variety of physical movements-moving, dancing, bending, stretching!

As a Zumba instructor, I encourage letting loose, smiling and being you. I believe in being real. I believe in what matters. I live my life with purpose – it’s why I teach. I love dancing, moving and losing myself in the music. Those moments are real and I want to share them with my students. I don’t care if they are round, old,

overweight, underweight, or if they use weights, in a wheel chair, need a chair, or have hair issues.

I won’t stop until they learn. I won’t stop until I teach you how to move to the music and I will lead them there! They won’t have time to think, “Am I good enough?” “What will they think?” It will be an hour of freedom in training their souls to be glad!

Steady, continued

stage. On the contrary, men (and women) should be real and authentic people who are growing in the Lord. Psalm 37:4 says, ”Delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.”

Above all, whether single, engaged or married, let us find fullness and fulfilment in Christ, who alone can fill the longing in our hearts (Psalm 73:25).

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EDITORIAL STAFF Editor Alvin Tud Layout Design Patrick Tan Distribution Johnson Li MIP/MOMS Editorial Staff (L-R): Patrick, Alvin, Evelyn, Kim & Johnson

Executive Editor Kim Snider

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