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MOMS’ NEWS
From My Heart Dear Readers, Summer is the time of the year when we can be most flexible. When I was growing up, I loved summer because my favorite cousins would come to our house to spend their vacation. My favorite part of summer was when our family would go on a trip and do things together. Admittedly, I hated the household chores my mother made us do, but a great part of what I learned during those times has helped me set my standards now that I have a family of my own. Most parents are fearful of what their children might become when they grow old, because no one really knows that. While they are young, we can help them start right. In this issue, there’s a story of a fine, young man who learned to make responsible decisions because his parents’ knew how to trust God. There’s an article about how our children can develop their own personal devotion time with God. One of our writers made an easy-to-follow flowchart to help us understand whether our child is ready to be left alone in the house. There’s a list of ideas on what you can do this summer with your family. May you find ways to make your summer a quality time with your family and loved ones. God bless you. Evelyn Damian, Editor
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Chicka-Chicka
Home Alone
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WISE CHOICES
Devotion 101: Just Do It
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MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Give Your Child Space to Grow
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FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING
Fun Time in the Sun
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ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS
I want my kids to do chores, but ...
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What the Bible Says about ...
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MOMS MAGAZINE
You Can Start a Relationship with Christ
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dmit you have sinned. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23
B MOMS Editorial Staff (L-R): Patrick, Evelyn, Kim & Johnson.
MOMS EDITORIAL STAFF Chief Editor Kimberly Snider Editor, MOMS Evelyn Damian Distribution Johnson Li Cover & Layout Patrick Tan
Thank you for your financial help! •
Rev. Andres Kho
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Neriza Rivera-Dakila ang Diyos
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Gema Viana
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Kasibu Christian Fellowship A/G
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Leap of Faith-Nueva Ecija
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UEC-General Santos City
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Friends from: Solano, Nueva Vizcaya, San Pedro, Puerto Princesa, Calapan, Oriental Mindoro
elieve in Jesus. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish; but have eternal life.” John 3:16b
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onfess and leave your sin behind. Stop sinning. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 To continue growing in your relationship with Christ, fellowship with other believers, read the Bible and pray!
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Published quarterly by Asia Pacific Media Ministries. Unit 2608 Raffles Corporate Center, Emerald Avenue, Ortigas Center, 1605 Pasig City, Philippines. Telephone: 914-9767. E-mail: moms@apmedia.org. Reproduction of photos and articles is prohibited without permission.
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CHIKA-CHIKA
Home Alone by Joshua Kho
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or the Filipino parent, summer time means school vacation! Children spend most of their time at home playing with their siblings, friends, or doing some productive activity. But what if there’s a necessity where you must leave your child alone in the house? Every parent is responsible for the welfare of their children until they reach adulthood, part of that responsibility is providing adequate supervision when the parent is around or not around. Below are three flowcharts that any parent can use to determine if it’s safe to leave their child alone at home. CHILD: Assess if it’s safe to leave the child alone.
Can they take care of themselves?
NO Teach them how to become independent especially when no adult is around and not to get locked up in the house.
YES Can they recognize danger and make decisions?
NO Inform the child about the things that might go wrong when they’re alone and their proper actions and attitude.
YES Is the child emotionally ready, feels confident, and secure?
NO Give assurance and discover what’s bothering them. Do they communicate openly? Tell them the preparations that you’ve made.
YES Does the child know what to do in emergencies? YES Child passed assessment.
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NO Teach them the proper attitude during emergencies and how to ask for help.
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PARENT: Parent has completed necessary prepartions?
Provided emergency phone number?
NO Teach child how to use phone. Dial 117 in case of emergency. It’s the national emergency number for the Philippines.
YES
Informed the child how long the parent will be gone?
NO
Tell them how long you’ll be gone and if you can’t keep the schedule, inform them ASAP.
YES
Provided food for the child?
NO
Cook something that can be eaten without using the stove to avoid fires or burns.
YES
Taught the child important house rules?
YES
NO
List some house rules you think is important to maintain safety in the house.
Parent has done preparations. Continued on the next page
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MOMS MAGAZINE Home Alone, continued
ENVIRONMENT: Is the environment secure?
Have trusted neighbors or relatives been informed?
NO Tell your neighbor your child will be alone and you would appreciate if they check on the child.
YES Checked the house for possible accident prone areas.
NO Think where accidents might occur and try to eliminate possible causes. Note electrical dangers.
YES All windows and doors are locked?
NO The safety of child is the parent’s priority; make sure the house is secure.
YES Phone is working and with battery?
NO Communication is important; therefore make sure that all modes of communication are working properly.
YES Is there an escape route in case of fire? YES
NO Make sure you have shown your child what to do and where to run in case of fire.
Environment is secure.
Ultimately, parents are the best judge in deciding if their children are mature enough to be left alone at home. These workflows can give parents something to help them decide if it’s safe to leave their child alone at home. Leaving a child alone at home is risky and can pose some serious problems, but it can also be a rewarding experience for those children who are ready. It will greatly increase their confidence and their desire to take on more mature responsibilities, and to develop essential skills that will help them succeed as they grow up.
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WISE CHOICES
Devotion 101: Just Do It by Hazel Javier
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ow about planning to teach your child to start devotions during the free days of summer vacation? If you’re on a family vacation, you can do it at the beach, under a nipa hut, or while having a campfire! Before we encourage our kids to do devotions, it would be helpful to remind ourselves why there is a need to do this: 1. Devotions are opportunities to get to know the great big God we call our Lord. If that is how we message the need for devotions, then it doesn’t become just more homework to finish or another project to accomplish. 2. Devotions can be fun! The Bible is filled with stories of men and women whose lives were changed. You can start by giving your children a Bible reading plan that is not chronological but is topical or which covers important Bible characters for a year. 3. Devotions remind us of the daily source of our strength and inspiration. The best way to start teaching children to have personal devotions is by conducting family devotions first. This way, the whole idea of opening up the Bible to talk about God and His teachings is not too unfamiliar. Ideally, the father as the head of the family should lead devotions, but if circumstances prevent this, the mother can gather the family together for this devotional time.
The mode of devotion can also vary. Typically, devotions are written in journals but in this modern age, there are also apps that can be downloaded that can store your kids’ thoughts and daily devotions. You can get samples from these sites: •
http://www.truthforkids.com/kidsdevotions-online/
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http://childrensministry.com/ bible-activities/devotions/
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http://www.heavensinspirations. com/childrens-devotionals.html
The flow can be different, depending on how active your child is but usually you can start with a song of praise or prayer, read scripture, and then reflect. Help your children think about the Bible by asking specific questions on the story that was read or how he or she can apply the concepts to their lives. Lastly, let us remember, as the author of the book, Faith Begins at Home said, “We spend time worrying about our kids’ faith when the greatest influence in their lives is you sticking to yours,” the reality is, how we keep and share our faith is what our kids will definitely watch for.
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MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Gary works as an IT consultant in a prominent IT company in Makati. He and his wife are actively involved in music and leadership roles in their church. Gary shares his story about how he learned to make responsible decisions. Growing up in a fishbowl
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am a pastor’s kid. I’m the eldest and I have a younger sister. I had good times with my dad but I always felt like I was in a fish tank. I was like a goldfish and everybody was looking at my every move. I couldn’t do this or that because I was a pastor’s kid. Everyone else could be angry, but I couldn’t be, because I was a pastor’s kid.
I remember moving a lot. I went to 9 schools, and I cannot count how many houses we lived in. My mom is from Iloilo and my dad was born in Cebu but grew up in Leyte. Though I was born in Cebu, I spent most of my teenage years in Baguio. Most of the time, it seemed like I was moving from one place to another when I was growing up. I am now working here in Manila. It was common for us to have visitors in the house. We hosted different missionaries, pastors, and other guests. There were times when I was kicked out
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MOMS MAGAZINE
of my room so the guests could sleep there, and I stayed in the church. So labas-pasok mga tao sa bahay namin. I got used to that. I like to be with people but I enjoy having quiet times by myself, too. I’m more of a private person talaga. While I was growing up, my grandparents and two aunts lived with us. They also disciplined us. My dad and my mom were both strict, but dad would reason with me. The way they dealt with my sister was different from the way they dealt with me because I am their son. Whatever mistake my sister made was also my mistake; whatever happened to her was my responsibility. So double warning ako palagi. Those were my grandparent’s rules. Nadala rin ng mommy ko ‘yun. So the basics, kapag hindi nakapaalam, may katumbas na palo, things like that. I remember, they gave me a warning like, “when you lie the next time, eto ‘yung sinturon ganito kahaba, the next time hahaba, so pahaba ng pahaba. But if aamin ka, hindi
na papahabain pa ’yung sinturon, pero mapapalo pa din to be consistent with the discipline. Moving When we moved to Baguio, dad took doctoral studies at a seminary. My mom was also studying. I was entering my teenage years and bago ako sa Baguio. I was learning the culture and the language. I was in Grade 5 and the only Cebuano in my classroom. Since bago ako dun, I was bullied, kwe-kwelyuhan, sasapakin ka. I was all messed up in school. I was going through physical and emotional struggles and then when my parents came home, wala man lang makausap because they were busy with their studies. That was when I rebelled. My dad was not often at home because of his studies so when he’d come back, he’d try to make up for the time he had been gone by being more in touch with the family. You could see he was Continued on the next page
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MAKE A DIFFERENCE nawalan ako ng lakas at that moment. Sabi nila, “Bakit ka umiiyak? Bakla ka yata eh!” So I lived with that for a long time, for the whole year nakatatak sa akin iyon. The turning point My parents knew when I was angry at them because of my facial expressions. There were times they confronted me, and there were times they just let me cool down. Kapag medyo relaxed na, mag-uusap kami.
Gary with his family
frustrated when I didn’t want to be with him anymore because I had my barkada na. My dad admitted later that he didn’t know what I was going through in school. During those times na nagrerebelde ako, there was some supernatural power that would really pull me back. I knew it was God. I credit that to my parents because I know they were praying for me. There was a point in time when I was going to try smoking but when I was about to take a puff, kinabahan ako na hindi ko maintindihan. Hindi ko kaya. Another time, galit na galit ako , pagbuwelo ko ng suntok, para akong sira, umiyak ako. Lalo akong kinantyawan. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit
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I remember my mom wrote me a letter. She’s not good face to face, so she would write notes and would walk up to me before I go to school and hand me the letter. This was one of those letters that she gave me. She said. “I know I’ve been so hard on you and there are times when I’ve been too much...” She apologized. She said that “... sometimes I forget you are no longer the kid I know. You’ve already grown up and I need to start letting you go and step back to let you grow. I’m sorry for when I was too idealistic or frustrated and I got mad at you out of frustration. I need to give you space, to let you grow. Let’s learn to respect each other. I know you don’t like being dictated to, or meddled with. On my part, I don’t want you shouting at me.” After reading that letter, I couldn’t wait to go home. When I got home, I saw my Mom and I gave her a hug. When she let me go, that’s when I found my way and learned to become independent. The wisdom of my parents I want to follow My dad established a family altar. Every night, we would pray. Kapag may
MOMS MAGAZINE alitan, ‘dun kami sa family altar. There were times when we just poured out (our feelings) and there’d be times when it would go in different ways, labasan ng frustration but in the end, the solution would always be prayer.
My dad established a family altar. Every night, we would pray...There were times when we just poured out our feelings and...frustrations but in the end, the solution would always be prayer.
Gary with his wife, Wendy
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My parents were prayer warriors. They modeled that to me and through it all, mom and dad never quit on each other, unconsciously nabaon sa akin iyong fidelity nila. Sa hirap, sa ginhawa, mom and dad were always there. Sometimes nag-aaway sila, but in the end, dad just held mom’s hand. Galit na galit si dad, pero he would pray. They had their quiet moments, silang dalawa, away from us. Pagnasilip ko sila, they prayed, they talked. He held her hand. Afterwards, paglabas nila ng kwarto, they’re better. Alam mong mabigat pa rin pero they’re better na. So consistently, nakikita ko iyon. Na-imbed din sa akin ‘yun. I think it worked that my dad would let me reason things out and speak my mind, but it also worked that
they spanked me. Looking back, pain reminded me of something, from funny to light to really painful. Community parenting helped me in a way, masakit na maayos. I admit it went to the extreme, it wasn’t the perfect parenting but it has made me become what I am today. How I make decisions now Some of my parents discipline methods, I don’t agree with but I do agree with the spiritual values they taught me. They are essential to how I live my life today. I mean time changes but God’s Word never changes. At work, I know they find me weird that I’m not the typical guy who just goes with the flow. My parents taught me to be aware of the tactics of the enemy—Satan. Before making decisions, I ask simple questions first, would God be honored? Would it be beneficial to me and my wife? It is good to consult the Bible. The more time you spend with reading the Word, the more you will be sensitive to the leading of the Holy Spirit.
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FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING
Fun Time in the Sun! by Revodem Avarientos
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he heat is on, its summer time! Put on your sunglasses and wear your favorite summer wear. Although the temperature is up a notch, it’s no reason to frown. Summer can be fun and meaningful for you and the entire family. The best part of it is that, if you are resourceful and wise, you will not need to spend a lot of money. Listed below are some ways to enjoy summer. Swimming. Go to the beach or swimming resort. For most people, summer is not complete without bringing the family to the beach. Others prefer the convenience and safety of a swimming pool. Thankfully, there are a lot of beaches and resorts here in the Philippines. While most beaches are open to the public, you will find that there are many good resorts which have affordable entrance fees. You might need to travel away from the city to find a good place to swim and build your sand castle. You will find it easier, however, to look for swimming resorts as they are
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almost everywhere in the country. Try to search the internet. I am sure there is one near your home. Just don’t forget to apply sunblock to protect your skin from the sun. Hiking. If you want your family to have an adventure in the wild, then maybe hiking is the best activity for you. The Philippines has a lot of mountain peaks that are ready to be conquered. Just remember that you and your family must be physically fit to trek in order to enjoy the challenging yet rewarding experience. If this is the first time you plan on hiking, you might want to plan conquering the low peaks first. There are a lot of hiking guide services nowadays that can be found on the internet. They will help you to be prepared and safe. Camping. If you think hiking is a little extreme, camping is also a good adventure activity that yields quality time with your family.
MOMS MAGAZINE
You do not need to buy a new tent, just borrow from a friend who has one. Camping is a great way to bond with your kin. The feeling that there is nothing but nature surrounding you brings you closer to each other. Plan a bonfire. It can be an intimate way of encouraging personal conversation with the family. Picnic. For a perfect summer day, a simple picnic in the park can be a memorable experience as well. Prepare special food that you do not usually eat. It doesn’t need to be expensive. Even though the food doesn’t cost much, the company, venue and the presentation can make a world of difference in the eating experience. Visit a new local destination. There is great thrill that comes when the family goes to a place where they have not been before. The anticipation can build up as you prepare for the trip. Just do not forget to set your cameras on the ready to document the whole experience.
Be a VBS volunteer. If teaching is your gift, consider spending a part of your summer time helping in Vacation Bible School. Involve your kids in the activity. It will be good for them to connect to other children, learn about God and serve in the church. Put up a halo-halo stand. If you plan to be entrepreneurial, think about putting up a halo-halo stand in front of your house. Halo-halo is a popular summer merienda. You will have to invest a small amount for the ice and other ingredients, but given the right local advertising through word of mouth with your neighbors, it is highly probable that you will gain profit in no time. Involve your children in the planning, preparation and in the actual operation of your business. Give them tasks according to their capability. I am sure you can think of more ways to enjoy this sunny season. Summer time is an exciting time in our country. Use the heat to your advantage. Enjoy the time with friends and family. This summer can be a memorable experience to you. Your only limit is your imagination. May you have a safe and fun-filled summer!
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ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS
Just Asking with Peter Banzon
Q:
I am a single mom with three elementary-aged children. A kasambahay helps me take care of them. I know that I should give my children chores but our kasambahay is hard working and gets the job done. Instead, I want my kids to focus on their studies and not get bogged down with chores. Please advise me.
A: O
ur job as parents is to train our children to be responsible adults. Learning responsibility should be taught at a very young age. The Bible says, “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6) When you let the kasambahay do everything for them, you will pass up giving your kids these learning opportunities. Doing chores can help them develop a good work ethic that will make them diligent and hardworking students. At first they may question and even resent their assigned work but constant reminders why chores need to be done will develop your children’s character. Here are some suggestions: Assign chores. Give them work that they can handle like making their beds, doing the dishes, taking out the garbage and keeping their room in order. Make the chore fit their capacity and abilities. Work alongside them. Actions speak louder than words. Working alongside them shows them how very important responsibility is to you. You can be the best model for your kids. Give positive affirmation. When they complete their chores show them your appreciation. Words of affirmation are very important to all children specially coming from you. When they don’t do a good job, don’t lash out at them. Instead encourage them to do a better job. Give them small tokens of appreciation. These are not meant to be bribes but small ways of telling them thank you for a job well done!
What the Bible says about Kids and their Parents
“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children” (Proverbs 17:6). “Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death” (Proverbs 19:18).
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