MOMS Magazine | July 2015 by Asia Pacific Media PH

MOMS’ NEWS

From My Heart Dear Readers,

know that God is good and loving. There’s not a day in my life when I don’t see His love for me. But sometimes, when bad things happen, we wonder, “Where is God? “ It is only when we stop and reflect, that we see we are not alone. He is present in every situation. Even when we are overwhelmed with grief, or fear, it is His amazing grace that enables us to get through each day. He teaches us to put our trust in Him. He helps us overcome our fears. He gives us better tomorrow.

hope

for

In this issue of Moms, we tell the stories of God’s amazing grace in the life of a mother who lost her daughter to cancer; a husband who learned to commit everything to God when his wife got ill, and a woman who overcame her fear as she struggled with lupus. Yes, we experience bad things at some point in our life, but we can look back and remember what God has done. What amazing grace! Evelyn Damian, Editor

Chicka-Chicka

Strength from Above

WISE CHOICES

Finished with Fear!

Learning to Trust God

MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Amazing Grace: The story of how one mother dealt with her daugher’s cancer

A Brother’s Look Back

FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING

Dengue Fever

Recipes

ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS

I lost my husband in an accident ...

What the Bible Says about Grief ...

MOMS MAGAZINE

You Can Start a Relationship with Christ

dmit you have sinned. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23

B MOMS Editorial Staff (L-R): Patrick, Evelyn, Kim & Johnson.

MOMS EDITORIAL STAFF Chief Editor Kimberly Snider Editor, MOMS Evelyn Damian Distribution Johnson Li Cover & Layout Patrick Tan

Thank you for your financial help! • • • •

UEC General Santos City James Joaquin Dante Catalan Friends from PGCAG

elieve in Jesus. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish; but have eternal life.” John 3:16b

onfess and leave your sin behind. Stop sinning. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 To continue growing in your relationship with Christ, fellowship with other believers, read the Bible and pray!

We need a little help from our friends... MOMS has no subscription price; it is supported completely through contributions. We distribute 58,000 copies each quarter for free. To help support this publication, send cash or check made payable to: Asia Pacific Media Ministries FAO MOMS. To make a direct deposit, use our BPI, C/A #2431-0042-27. All contributions are used entirely for the outreach of this publication. Thank you! Published quarterly by Asia Pacific Media Ministries. Unit 2608 Raffles Corporate Center, Emerald Avenue, Ortigas Center, 1605 Pasig City, Philippines. Telephone: 914-9767. E-mail: moms@apmedia.org. Reproduction of photos and articles is prohibited without permission.

ASIA PACIFIC

MEDIA 3

Strength from Above by Leonides P. Cuerbo

d Madrid had big dreams for his family. He and his wife Buen had four children. Ed was a government employee, and Buen worked in a bank. They were able to buy a house and lot in a subdivision; they owned other property, businesses and cars. Their children went to private schools. Life was great! But, all Ed’s dreams were crushed when, in November 2001, Buen was diagnosed with breast cancer, stage 2. She was only 41 years old. The news was harder on Ed than his wife. He said, “I was shocked and I couldn’t accept it. I was in denial. I was mad at the world but angrier with myself. I was thinking I was working so hard to have a better life and look, my wife got sick! I blamed a lot of people. I projected there would be lots of expenses and we would face hardship in the future. The doctor said they needed to operate on Buen immediately to remove the lump from her breast and it would cost a lot of money. Then she had to undergo 6 sessions of chemotherapy.” Besides those problems, Ed didn’t know how to tell his children about their mom’s sickness. He didn’t want them to worry but he needed to tell them the truth and how it would affect their future. Ed had to be strong for his family so no matter how hard it was, he gathered his children and told them about their mom’s illness. Ed felt relieved after that. He said, “Di ko akalain na madali nilang matatanggap ‘yung balita. But deep inside me, I was frantic. I lost my appetite. I couldn’t sleep. I became moody, depressed. I worried about where to get money for my wife’s treatment and how to meet my family’s everyday needs. My wife had to quit her job. We had to sell some of our property to cover the cost of my wife’s treatment.” Ed didn’t know that in this dark phase of his life, the Lord would speak to him. Ed had been a Christian for many years but he was not active in church. He was busy with his career and business but after this happened, he began attending worship services and prayer meetings regularly. He said, “For me, it was a wakeup call. I became more prayerful and His Word became alive to me. “During those days, the Lord made me realize that He alone could comfort me. By His grace, He gave me the strength to face this trial. I eventually accepted the truth

MOMS MAGAZINE Ed Madrid with Buen and their children.

and I’ve learned to entrust everything to God. Naging regular ‘yung family devotion namin. My kids tried to do things to make their mother happy. They spent more time with her. We became closer to each other. “I’m so thankful for the people God inspired to help us financially and emotionally. They helped establish my faith in God. I felt the love of the Lord. I learned to appreciate my loved ones more, and to hold on to the promises of the Lord. “Unfortunately, in April 2004, my wife’s cancer turned from bad to worse. By that time, we were already prepared to accept whatever was God’s will for my wife. She passed away peacefully on November 2004. Without God’s grace, I think hindi ko kakayanin ‘yung pagkawala niya.” Ed continues, “Definitely, that was the most difficult day of my life and I learned lessons to last a lifetime. I realized life is short and I just wanted to spend the rest of my life serving and worshiping God. It’s only now na nakita ko yung purpose ni Lord. He equipped me for service. I minister to people now who are experiencing the same thing I experienced. “I learned Jesus is the only one I can depend on at all times. Sometimes people forget the Lord when everything is going good for them. They forget that everything comes from the Lord, that everything we have is borrowed from God. That’s why we should never put our hopes in our position and possessions. The Bible says, ‘Do not pursue earthly things.’ Don’t wait for God to get your attention. Our goal should be to glorify the Lord in everything that we do.”

Ed and his children’s recent photo

Have you ever wondered whether someone is telling the truth or not?

s there anyone you can believe all the time?

Jesus is someone you can believe all the time. He said, “No one can come to the Father except through me. ( John 14:6) Was He telling the truth? If He was, we know Jesus is the only way to God. As much as we may wish there was someone else we could go through to get to God, there is not. Dr. Augustin Vencer (1996) wrote: “Religious faith is not a matter of taste but of Truth. A person can change his religion at anytime but Truth is unchanging.”

MOMS MAGAZINE

Finished with Fear! by Rufina Fajardo

“M

ay Systemic Lupus Erythematosus ka, at incurable ‘yan,” the doctor told me in November 2009, while holding the results of my laboratory tests. Lupus is an autoimmune disease that affects all the organs in the body. On the outside, I had skin rashes, calcifications, and swollen joints. On the inside, I was tormented day and night with constant headaches, bodyaches, and nightmares.

It never occurred to me that I could die of lupus because there was something I was more afraid of than death. I was afraid to live! I was afraid of being successful. My notion of success was distorted by the events of my childhood. I somehow equated finishing my studies and financial success with a broken family and a miserable life. Rufina (left) with a friend.

When my father started earning seven times more than what a typical engineer in the eighties earned, things deteriorated in our family. Everyday there was a drinking spree, and every night was a rein of terror as my father vented his frustrations on us. My father and his brothers had a family feud over property. He was particularly mad at his eldest brother, and so, he beat me because I was his eldest child. He said he didn’t want me to become like his eldest brother who was selfish. However, it wasn’t clear what I did that deserved punishment. For awhile I felt like I never even existed, because my mother was too weak to stop him, and nobody came to help me, not even the neighbors when I cried for help. Although, in time, I was able to forgive my father, unconsciously, I had learned to be afraid of success. Gradually, I learned God’s love could not coexist with fear. I could not believe in God’s love for me and still be afraid to graduate, or to be successful earning money. Secondly, I realized my love ones would suffer if I was afraid of prospering. If I died penniless, my family would have to shoulder the burden of my funeral. Lastly, I was like the man who hid his one talent and got punished in the end (Matthew 25:1430). God challenged me to take a risk and do my best to fulfill my potential—without being afraid. The lessons I learned did not occur to me all once. Because of the lupus, I did all sorts of things to keep myself busy and occupied, and to take my mind off my pain. I did carpentry to tire myself out so that I could sleep well at night. I created a mini library at home, and taught kids from the neighborhood to read and appreciate math.

WISE CHOICES The happiness I felt from teaching children led me to enroll in a university near my house and take a course in education. As usual, during the last semester of university, I had all sorts of excuses for not wanting to graduate. I confessed my fear to the Lord. I told Him that graduating was traumatic for me, but I would like to surrender my fear to Him. I informed my church mates and asked for their prayers. In 2014, I graduated top of my batch and had the chance to thank God in front of 11,000 people during the valedictory speech. My husband was a gift from God because he was with me throughout my suffering. I remember when I told him about my illness. He cried, but he said that he believed in his heart that the Lord would heal me. What happened was, God used the illness to heal my real disease, fear of success. I am finished with fear!

Learning to Trust God as told to Evelyn Damian

“M

y husband was a drug addict,” says this pretty woman in her early 30’s. I met her at a church gathering a few years ago and now she tells me her story. She was a working student in college when she got pregnant. She and her boyfriend decided to get married. Her husband was jobless but she really loved him. With her savings, she opened a store so that her husband could get busy and earn but instead of earning, they got deeper into debt. That time, she would wake up at 4am, work, then go to school and would be home around 1am. One day, she came home unexpectedly and found out that her husband seldom opened the store and he was a drug addict. Worried for her son and her life, too, she decided to leave him. Two months after they separated, someone invited her to a Christian fellowship and she gave her life to

Jesus Christ. She said, “It changed the way I looked at things. It is different when you trust yourself and not God to solve your problems. I knew God but I didn’t have a personal relationship with Him. I had hopes that my husband would change and that someday, we would live together again but a few months later, I learned that my husband and his mistress had a child. I cried a lot until one night, while I was praying the Lord impressed to me that I should go and tell my husband I forgive him. So I went to see him and told him I forgive him. After I said that, I had peace in my heart. Eventually, I also got into a relationship twice. I thought I was incomplete and I needed someone to take care of me but I had no peace. The Lord showed me that I was complete in Him and He helped me straighten up my life. Now I know that whatever my situation is, I can depend on God to help me.”

MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Mildreth Kho, a Filipina, presently lives with her husband in the United States. She had three children, one boy, Joshua and two girls, Anna and Monina. She has one grandson. Mildreth told me the story of her family’s battle with cancer almost three years ago, and how faith in God gave her comfort and hope.

y daughter Anna was really very young when she was diagnosed with AML, a type of leukemia. Her baby was a little more than a year old, just starting to walk. While Anna was sick, I went everywhere with her; I never left her. When I didn’t see her I called for her, even if she was just in another part of the house. I wanted to see her physically. I valued every minute I was with her. I just wanted to be with her every minute of the day. I never let her out of my sight. In the mornings when I looked at her in her bed, sleeping, I prayed, “God I wish that you will give her more time to be with her son. If You can totally heal her of this sickness, please do, because she has a son whom she loves so much more than her own life. Give her strength to accept everything.” After her diagnosis of AML leukemia, Anna had six months of chemo and then, she was cancer

MOMS MAGAZINE

free for six months. She was very strong. She never showed any weakness in her body. After chemotherapy or after a bone marrow aspiration, she would say, “Mommy, let’s go malling.” We would go out right after the chemo! We were famous among the doctors and the nurses in the hospital. They would ask her, “Anna, where have you been?” “Doc, I just came from the chemotherapy.” “You look so strong.” She was very pretty. She was very positive. Everyone was certain that she was getting better. I never left her. I gave up everything. I closed my business. We went into fund raising, I think three times. It’s good that she had a pool of friends. She started a blog. She started writing online, and she informed everybody about her condition, so friends could give and help with the medical expenses. People from everywhere, friends from elementary, high school, and college wanted to help her. Then, the cancer came back. Anna had shingles, and then she

had foot and hand disease, and then the hematologist informed me that her immune system was going down again. Anna had a bone marrow aspiration and it was positive. She was devastated. One week after finding out the cancer was back, we were scheduled for another chemo. We had to start all over again. This time they used stronger medication because it was the second time. I know deep inside she was hurt and maybe there were so many questions in her mind. She must have asked herself why this thing had come back, but she never asked me. The cancer never went into remission again. Two weeks after the first chemo in her second round, she died. My husband was in the United States when Anna got sick. He got his green card in May 2012. Anna was really very strong then. When she learned that my husband had his green card already, she said “Mommy, let’s ask Dad to Continued on the next page

MAKE A DIFFERENCE come home early. I want him here now.” “No, he’s scheduled to come home in September.” She said “No, that’s too far.” She was telling me that’s too far. “I want him here now.” “Okay in August. I will tell him to come home in August.” He was supposed to come back in August. But then, when it was June Anna told me again, “Mommy, I want dad to come in July.” “No, it’s too early. Why are you always changing your mind? Employers in the States are not like that. You cannot keep on changing.” My husband came home when he found out that Anna was in critical condition. She passed away in July. Now she is in heaven. Everywhere I go, if somebody asks me, I always say we were very blessed because we were introduced to Christianity at this point in time. Maybe if we had another religion or another belief, it would be very hard for us to accept what happened. It was my husband who was really into Christianity. I wasn’t even an avid Bible reader. I wasn’t paying attention really, because I was a career woman. But since I was his wife, I had to be involved in what my husband was doing. I was surprised that Joshua, Monina and Anna were all 100% active in church. I never imagined that they would be very active. It’s very, very hard for a parent to lose a child. But because of my Christianity, I believe that this world is just temporary. I am looking forward to seeing Anna again. No doubt about it. From the time that she had this disease, I left it all to God. Of course, I prayed to Him what I wanted, but I always knew that God knows what He is doing. He knows what is best.

We joined this foundation for leukemia and we were able to be with other families in the same situation as we were in. We were able to hear each other’s stories. One case was similar to Anna, this girl was also 23 years old and she passed away. I realized I was more blessed than her mom because I have a grandson who is alive. I can see my daughter in him. I have a remembrance. I was asked if I had advice for someone who learns their child has cancer. Maybe the only thing that I can say is, accept it. I will just say, ‘lift that child to God and He will do everything, even the finances.’ Sometimes you will just be getting money from your pocket. You will not even know where it came from. Just keep that faith in God. Don’t lose that faith no matter what circumstances come your way. Bear in mind and instill in your heart that God wants us to always be happy and wants us to have a good life. He has no plans of giving suffering, trouble, or diseases to mankind. He uses whatever happens to us to teach us. God has a purpose in everything. In every person that you meet on the road, there’s a purpose for that. In every single thing that you’ve accomplished, there is always a purpose. God is preparing you for something better. So what is after death? I don’t think that God loves us so much that it’s just one phase and then that’s it. I don’t think it’s just like that. I think everything that we experience here on earth is really temporary. And He has His purpose. His thoughts are not our thoughts and we really just have to keep on hoping and praying that all these things will pass. Then we can try to rebuild and go on.

MOMS MAGAZINE

A Brother’s Look Back by Joshua Kho

hen Anna passed away, I truly felt powerless to do anything. There was really nothing our family could do but surrender her into God’s arms. I prayed “Lord, there’s really nothing I can do any more, but I know you love my sister, so please take care of her and tell her we love her so much.” It Was The First Time Our Family Had Encountered A Serious Illness At the time Anna got sick, my father worked in the United States, so I was the only man in the house. I took care of my mom, Anna and Monina, and even Liam, Anna’s son. We had a wonderful time when Liam was born. Anna was very enthusiastic about her son’s future. She was very proud of Liam. We were really active in church. Anna got baptized at that time. Her relationship with God was beginning to grow; then Anna was diagnosed with leukemia. We were all shocked and didn’t know what to do. It was the first time that someone in our family had contracted a serious illness. The night after we found out Anna had leukemia, we cuddled up in the bedroom and comforted each other. I remember that the lights were out and I was beside the bed with Anna. I could not contain my sadness and I started to cry. Anna asked me why I was crying and I told her I didn’t want to see her suffer; we both cried then. My mom’s life revolved around Anna when she got sick. I supported my mom and did some of the errands needed for Anna’s treatment. Fortunately, we have relatives who are doctors so we were able to get professional advice. The treatment went well and we were amazed at how Anna went through the procedures so

courageously. The negative side effects of the procedures seldom bothered her. Our worry lessened because the doctors told us that her treatment was going well. I prayed that God would heal Anna and bless her. Why Is This Happening to Us? I asked God why this was happening to us. I didn’t get mad at God, but I asked a lot of questions. I was convinced that God is good and He loves us, but at the same time I was trying to figure out why God allowed these things to happen. We continued to pray for Anna’s healing and did what was needed for her treatment. Day in, day out I just lifted her up to God and gave my support to her. The church was also a huge encouragement to Anna and our whole family. But, despite all this, the cancer came back and Anna died. Anna’s Wake I had the opportunity to give the eulogy for Anna at her wake. There, what I emphasized in my speech was that even though I may not be very good in a lot of things, I know that I was a good brother. Now that Anna’s gone, it’s like a part of me is also gone. Our Family at Peace I think we are at peace because we believe in God. We have faith in Him. Even though my sister has passed away, it’s not like she is lost; actually God has taken her to some place where she can rest, and be comforted from her physical pain, and just feel His love for her. There is that peace that transcends all understanding. Right now, our family continues to serve the Lord, and be a testimony to others. We want people to know that we should not abandon our belief in God because we experience some kind of suffering, but rather, because of our weaknesses, we should approach God even more.

FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING

Dengue Fever by Ivy Alcarde

engue or “Break bone fever” is a severe, flu-like illness caused by a virus in the blood. It may prevent the blood from clotting properly, and cause bleeding. Dengue should be suspected when a high fever (40°C/104°F) is accompanied by 2 of the following symptoms: severe headache, pain behind the eyes, muscle and joint pain, nausea, vomiting, swollen glands or a rash. This is known as the “dengue triad.” How do people contract Dengue? Dengue is carried by the Aedes mosquito. The mosquito takes blood from one infected person, and then carries the infection to another person. These mosquitos are identified by the black and white stripes on their bodies. Their peak biting periods are early in the morning and in the evening before sunset. Treatment: There is no vaccine or specific medicine for dengue. •

Take paracetamol for fever and pain

•

O NOT take aspirin or ibuprofen. D They will thin the blood and may result in bleeding

•

rink lots of fluid— water, juice, D soup

•

Get lots of rest

In most cases, the fever eventually goes away by itself. After 2 to 7 days of dengue fever, some people develop a severe complication called Dengue Hemorrhagic Fever (DHF). This is dengue fever with

bleeding and needs urgent medical care. Proper medical attention is needed to avoid complications and risk of death. Seek medical help right away if any of these signs appear within 24 hours after the fever is gone: •

severe abdominal pain

•

continuous vomiting

•

rapid breathing

•

bleeding gums

•

tiredness

•

restlessness

•

lood in vomit (brown colour), urine b (tea colour) or poop (black colour)

Prevention Do not give mosquitoes places to breed. Frequently check and remove stagnant water in your home. Prevent mosquito bites by using windows and door screens in your homes and using safe mosquito repellent sprays. Prevention is better than cure. Souce: WHO/ Dengue and severe dengue (http://www. who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs117/en/)

MOMS MAGAZINE

Recipes by Kim Snider

“Make You Feel Better” Chicken Noodle Soup 1.

Take a whole chicken and wash thoroughly in clean cool water.

2. Place chicken in a large pot with enough water to cover the chicken. 3. Add salt, a few black pepper corns and 1 bay leaf. Add 1 whole carrot for flavor and one small onion. 4. Boil the chicken until it is tender and the meat slides off the bones.

Rehydration drink

5. Cool until you are able to pick up the chicken without burning your hands. Discard the skin and bones, bay leaf and black pepper corns.

To prevent and treat Dehydration – can be a substitute for Pedialite •

1 liter of boiled water

6. Shred the chicken meat and put back in the broth. Cut up the onion and carrot and put back in the broth.

•

2 level Tablespoons of sugar or honey

•

¼ teaspoon of salt

•

¼ teaspoon of baking (bicarbonate of soda)

•

Optional—If available, add half cup of orange juice, coconut water, or mashed banana.

7. Bring the broth to a boil and add any flat noodles. If needed, you may add more water. Cook until done. 8. Serve with love.

soda

ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS

Just Asking with Peter Banzon

My husband died suddenly in a car accident. We thought we would grow old together. Now all that remains are shattered dreams. I am angry at God for allowing this to happen. I feel He is so unfair. Please help me.

A: F

irst of all let me express my deepest condolences to you and your family. There are no simple answers to your situation. As you grieve and try to move on, the worse thing you can do is to push God out of your life. You were not meant to make it on your own, but to live and overcome with God at the center of your life. God is no stranger to pain, He suffered as His Son died a horrible death on the cross. Look at how the Bible describes Jesus in Isaiah 53: 3a, 4a, “He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain...Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering...” That is why all of our questions, our hurts and pains find their answer in Jesus Christ. Please consider the following suggestions. Express your hurt to God. Go ahead, let Him know how angry you are and

how much you hurt, He can take it. God is much bigger than all of our hurt in life. If you read the Bible, there were many times that God’s people told Him how they were disappointed with Him. Allow Him to heal you. God, not time, heals. He is on your side. You must allow Him to do his healing work in your life. This can happen if you continue to trust Him. Trust is built when you have a growing relationship with God. The Bible says, “He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” Ps 147:3 and, “A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling.” Ps 68:5 Belong to a cell group or Bible study. Being part of a community can help you get through this very difficult time in your life. Other believers can encourage you, listen to you and most importantly, pray for you.

What the Bible says about Grief ...

“For no one is cast off by the Lord forever. Though he brings grief, he will show compassion, so great is his unfailing love. For he does not willingly bring affliction or grief to anyone.” (Lamentations 3:31-33) “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18)