Volume 13 / Issue 49 / 2016
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EDITORIAL
To Start a Relationship with Jesus Christ Admit you have sinned. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 Believe in Jesus. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish; but have eternal life.” John 3:16b Confess and leave your sin behind. Stop sinning. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 To continue growing in your relationship with Christ, fellowship with other believers, read the Bible and pray!
(L-R) Patrick, Kim, Evelyn, and Alvin (Johnson not in the photo)
MOMS EDITORIAL STAFF Chief Editor Kimberly Snider Editor, MOMS Evelyn Damian Editor, MIP Alvin Tud Distribution Johnson Li Cover & Layout Patrick Tan
Thank you for your financial help! • • • • • • •
Andres Kho Daisy Callanta Eric Pedroche Friends from ICS Catherine Tan Neriza Rivera Rhoda Panaguiton
We need a little help from our friends...
• • • •
Emilio Julian Kasibu Christian Fellowship Sherlita Manglicmot Leticia Valdez
MOMS has no subscription price; it is supported completely through contributions. We distribute 58,000 copies each quarter for free. To help support this publication, send cash or check made payable to: Asia Pacific Media Ministries FAO MOMS. To make a direct deposit, use our BPI, C/A #2431-004227. All contributions are used entirely for the outreach of this publication. Thank you! Published quarterly by Asia Pacific Media Ministries. Unit 2608 Raffles Corporate Center, Emerald Avenue, Ortigas Center, 1605 Pasig City, Philippines. Telephone: 914-9767. E-mail: moms@apmedia.org. Reproduction of photos and articles is prohibited without permission. 2
MOMS MAGAZINE
From My Heart Dear Readers,
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few years ago, at a get-together, one of my friends confided she was going through a difficult situation with her in-laws; another one suspected her husband was having an affair. When we asked, “How are you feeling?” Their answer was a quick, “It’s okay, kaya ko pa.” But, the next time we met, both of their situations had gotten worse. Sometimes, we allow others to abuse us. We don’t set boundaries. We take as much as we can and then we explode! Setting boundaries in our relationships can help us live a healthy and pleasant life. Although the Bible doesn’t use the word “boundaries” to describe the limits we put on other people’s ability to harm us, God’s laws can be compared to boundaries. They were given us for our own good, that He may bless us. It says in Deuteronomy 28:2, “All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the LORD your God…” I pray that the articles in this issue will touch your heart, and help you as you set healthy boundaries! God bless you. Evelyn Damian, Editor
Table of Contents EDITORIAL
From My Heart 3 CHIKA-CHIKA
Stop at the Red Light 4 WISE CHOICES
Setting Boundaries for Kids: Tantrums 6 Tiny Terrorists and Heroic Moms 7 MAKE A DIFFERENCE
It’s Never Too Late: Finding Answers 8 FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING
Growing Herbs for Fresh Tea: Peppermint, Tarragon and Stevia 13
ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS
Setting boundaries with adult kids... 14 3
CHIKA-CHIKA
Stop at the Red Light!
An interview with Sur del Rosario, Senior Pastor of International Christian Service in Mandaluyong City by Joshua T. Kho
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an you solve this word puzzle? As traffic lights are to motorists, and police are to the community, and guidance counsellors are to children, _________ are to peace and order. If you filled in the blank with the word, “boundaries,” you would have the right answer. Traffic lights, police and guidance counsellors all provide boundaries which maintain peace and order. Imagine what would happen if these boundaries did not exist. There would be accidents, chaos, and rebellion everywhere. Why? Because, as humans, we have free will. We are not robots. Pastor Sur del Rosario speaks about the issue of boundaries. What kind of boundaries do parents need to provide for their children? “Parents should provide the primary boundaries for their children. Curfews, being respectful, etc… Parents have the wisdom to discern the outcome. Children should be thankful when their parents set boundaries, not to restrict them, but to limit them in what they can do, because without boundaries they can go in every direction. “Parents should use positive reinforcement. They need to help the children develop an understanding of outcomes.For instance, parents should say, ‘If you do this, what do you think will happen?’ This way, the child becomes a participant. You empower the child.
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The problem with parents is that they are usually NOT in communication with their children. Merong power difference agad. ‘Magulang mo ako, sundin mo ako,’pero in that way tinuturuan mo ‘yung bata na maging robot, nasu-suppressed ang kanyang emotions.” What type of boundaries should exist between friends? “Oftentimes, there are NO boundaries between friends. With our friends, we can come as we are, without being judged. We feel special, noticed, accepted, and loved. We would do almost everything to keep that relationship, and that is why boundaries are the last thing we think about when it comes to our friends or barkadas. “Still there is a need to set the right boundaries among friends. The best analogy for me is the stop light. You cannot just speed off anytime and ignore others. You really have to stop on red, because if you don’t, you can hurt yourself and others.” What boundaries should we set on alcohol? “Once, we visited The University of the Philippines. Siyempre, matanong ang mga bata ‘dun, masama ba manigarilyo, masama ba uminom ng alak?’ Parents should first find out kung ano ba ang biblical stand sa mga vices? Ano ba ang mali sa paninigarilyo, sa pag-inom (ng alak)? Dapat ma-set natin sa mga bata na in everything they do, they can honor God.
MOMS MAGAZINE
“Parents should provide the primary boundaries for their children” Sabi nga, ‘Whether you eat or drink, do it for the glory of God’. “I tell them, ‘I won’t always be there. You are free to do whatever you like, but understand that you are also free to honor the Lord. Do you think you would honor Him if you destroy your body sa vices?’That sets an inner compass for them.“ What are good boundaries for boyfriends and girlfriends? “Sa physical boundaries, nasa pananamit ‘yan. You stimulate others by what you wear. I ask, ‘Pag mag-boyfriend and girlfriend ba equals mag-asawa na?’ Eto ‘yung mga boundaries na dapat mai-establish. May difference kasi ‘yun. You cannot go all the way.’” How do you advise people to set boundaries with regard to lending money? “No borrowing sana, as much as possible. Kung kailangan talaga, borrow only what you can pay. Kung ikaw naman ‘yung lender, be sure the person is capable of paying, otherwise, just give it.” Do you think the concept of boundaries fits Filipino culture? “We are not good at setting boundaries. As Filipinos, we have ‘sardinas’
mentality, meaning sa jeep na pang walong katao lang, kaya natin gawing pang-sampuan. Kapag Pinoy, maximized ang space, ‘You can take mine.’ Kapag may bisita tayo, we can give our bed to the visitor. We can be generally selfless. “Ang problema naman sa Filipinos when we do not set the right boundaries, kunwari ‘what is mine is yours.’ Meron dyan makikitira sa bahay ng kapatid kahit na may asawa na siya. Dun nagsisimula ang napakaraming mga problema. “I think dun tayo pwede, as Filipinos, to develop ‘yung setting natin ng boundaries. I think boundary ‘yung pagsabi ng ‘NO.’ Filipinos don’t naturally say ‘NO.’ Mahirap tumanggi kaya sinasabi natin, “Okay lang ako, kaya ko pa,” pero kapag pumutok, nananakal ng tao, nagpe-pentup na ‘yung emotions. “Pwede sigurong matutunan nating sabihin in the right way na, nahihirapan na tayo, kasi kapag hindi, ang resulta nagsusuntukan na, walang boundaries, eh. ‘You can abuse me, pero kapag ako pumutok na, dedo ka! ’Makakatulong palagay ko sa atin when we learn to say ‘NO.’ When we learn to say kung hanggang saan lang ‘yung kaya natin.” To conclude, not everything is good for us, and that is why we set appropriate boundaries. It is for the good of everyone. 5
WISE CHOICES
Setting Boundaries for Kids: Tantrums by Maria Bedelia Delos Santos
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ccording to Mayo Clinic experts, temper tantrums are a normal part of growing up. Toddler’s outbursts are a normal biological response to anger and frustration as yawn is to fatigue.1 Claire B. Kopp, professor of Applied Developmental Psychology at California’s Claremont Graduate University, gives these tips on how to handle kids during a tantrum:2 Don’t lose your cool. When a child is swept up in a tantrum, he will not listen to reason although he will respond negatively to your yelling or threatening. What works instead, is to just sit down and be with him while he rages. At times, when you are overly frustrated, you can calmly leave the room for a few minutes. But don’t leave him the whole time or he’ll feel abandoned. Remember that you’re the adult. Don’t give in to unreasonable demands or try to negotiate with a screaming toddler. By giving in, you’ll only teach him that throwing a fit is a good way of getting he what he wants. If the tantrum escalates to a point that he is hitting people, throwing things or screaming non-stop, pick him up and firmly but gently carry him to a safe place and let him know that you will stay with him until he calms down. If you are in a public place, be prepared to leave the place with your child until he calms down. Use “time-out” sparingly. A timeout is helpful when the child’s tantrum 6
intensifies and other techniques aren’t working. Placing your child in a quiet or boring spot for a brief period (about one minute per year of his age). This time alone can be a good lesson in self-soothing. Explain what you are doing and let him understand that it is not a punishment. If he refuses to stay in “time out,” simply place him back in the spot firmly but coolly and go about your business. Talk about the incident afterward. When the storm subsides, hold your child close and talk about what happened. Let him express his feelings. Once he expresses himself in words, you can better understand what he wants. Let your child know you love him. Once the child is calm and you have talked to him, give him a quick hug and tell him that you love him. Try to avoid tantrum-inducing situations. Pay attention to situations
MOMS MAGAZINE
when tantrums occur. If you sense a tantrum is on the way, try distracting your child by changing location, giving them a toy, etc. Try to offer the child choices whenever possible. Watch for signs of overstress. Although daily tantrums are a perfectly normal part of mid-toddler years, it’s better to keep an eye out for possible problems that trigger tantrums. If your child’s tantrums seem overly frequent or intense, or if he’s hurting himself or others, seek professional help. It is not easy being a toddler’s parent trying to stay in control of a screaming and wildly angry child. Often times, it is a frustrating, emotionally draining episode. But time is on everybody’s side. A lot of emotional turbulence will have settled down by the time your toddler has completed his metamorphosis into a pre-school child. Your toddler will get bigger, stronger and more able to manage things better. For now, you will just have to be a cool parent. Grin and bear it! 1 Temper Tantrum in Toddlers: How to Keep the Peace, www.mayoclinic.org - art. 20047845 2 Why Your Child has Temper Tantrums, www.babycenter. comtantrums_11567
Tiny Terrorists and Heroic Moms by a grandma who wants to remain anonymous!
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randmothers always remember their own parenting skills with pride. We never remember the failures we had or the times our children did the most embarrassing things. We think we were the perfect parents. I used to boast that I could make any child into an obedient little boy or girl. How wrong I was! I am the proud lola of 5 apo; 4 boys and one girl. My boys are normal, active, naughty little guys. But, my granddaughter is normal, active, and NAUGHTY! My heroic daughter-in-law has read all the books, tried all the ideas, prayed all the prayers, and still our little girl can throw the worst tantrum in the neighborhood. I realize what a great mom my son’s wife is every time I visit and she constantly manages to hug, love, and forgive our terrorizing little princess. One night stands out in my memory. I had observed our little girl exhaust her momma by throwing one tantrum after another all day. I had tried to help to absolutely NO avail. Finally, it was bedtime. Her momma prayed with our granddaughter and then held her quietly and asked, “ How was your day, darling? Did you have any highs or lows today?” My granddaughter answered quickly, “It was a great day, Momma! I didn’t have any lows at all!” My sainted daughter-in-law sighed with exhaustion. Neither of us knew whether to laugh or cry! Here is what we should remember: Most tantrums don’t last too long--a few minutes and they are over. Most children easily move past their anger to a better emotional state very quickly. Tantrums are exhausting for parents but don’t really hurt the child. And…if we can just control our response, our calmness will finally pay off and the child will calm down, too. Finally, let’s remember. TIME IS ON OUR SIDE. Children grow up. The time will come when these little tantrum terrorists will have babies of their own. And we can stand on the sidelines and smile! 7
MAKE A DIFFERENCE
It’s Never Too Late: Finding Answers The Story of Robert and Rose Aldave as told to Evelyn Damian “Boundaries,” referring to limitations on the influence of other people on our decisions, is not a word that is used often among Filipinos. Most of the time we just think of what we want to do and do it. Our thoughts don’t project what the end result will be. We keep going until we find our life in a mess; we lose, we hurt,we end up miserable, and then we ask ourselves, “Where did I go wrong? How did this happen?” Robert and Rose Aldave have been married for 20 years. They have 7 children. They started their marriage out right, but they lived with no emotional boundaries. Things started to go wrong when they moved to a new house and Robert chose to hang out with new friends. Their situation left Rose almost hopeless until she met Someone that changed the course of both of their lives. Starting life together. ROSE: Magkatrabaho kami ni Robert sa
isang burger stand. Three years kaming mag-boyfriend bago kami nag-decide na magpakasal noong 1996. Nagkaroon kami agad ng anak. Gusto ng tatay ko sama-sama kami kahit maliit lang ‘yung bahay sa Pasig so nagdesisyon kami ni Robert na magpagawa ng kwarto pero sa Taguig kami tumira. ROBERT: Ang pamilya ko ang priority
ko. Nagtratrabaho ako sa magagandang 8
kumpanya. Lahat ibinibigay ko sa kanila, naipapasyal ko pa sila. ROSE: Noong November 2000, nagka-
roon ng baha sa Taguig kaya napalipat kami sa Pasig. Nakakuha si Robert ng backpay at nag-umpisa kaming mag-business, nagtinda kami ng gulay at pakonti-konting karne. Lumago ang business namin at nagkaroon kami ng maliit na store. New Environment, New Friends. ROBERT: Noong una, nakikisama ako
dahil hindi ako taga-rito. Hindi ko alam kung papaano sisimulan makipagkaibigan sa kanila. Noong umpisa, inuman hanggang sa may magyaya na sa droga at sumama naman ako. Dun ako nagsimulang magumon sa drugs, mga 14 to 15 years bago ako nag-stop. Lahat ng kita ko sa pagtra-tricycle ko, ibinibili ko ng drugs imbes na ibigay ko sa pamilya ko. Madalas naming pagtalunan kapag wala akong naiuwi. ROSE: Actually, hindi ko agad nalaman
na gumagamit si Robert ng drugs. ‘Yung tindahan namin noon, sobrang lakas. Kahit hindi na ako umuutang sa Bombay, pinapautang talaga nya ako, libo-libo kasi nga good payer ako. Sobrang ganda ng kita hanggang sa bandang huli, nalugi. Kumokonti ‘yung laman na hindi naman bumabalik ‘yung puhunan. Sabi
Photo by Josie Co
kasi ni Robert na siya na lang ang magbabantay ng tindahan. Hindi ko alam na doon pala sila nagse-session kaya ‘yung benta, nauubos. Doon nalusaw lahat. Doon ko nalaman na gumagamit si Robert. Nag lie low muna kami at pumunta kami sa biyenan ko para ilayo din si Robert sa drugs pero ayokong maging responsibilidad kami ng biyenan ko kaya bumalik kami ulit sa Pasig. Questioning God. ROSE: Hindi alam ng ibang anak ko ang pagdrodroga ni
Robert pero ‘yung panganay at pangalawa, nararamdaman nila pero wala silang authority para manita. Noon hinuhulugan ko pa ‘yung tricycle arawaraw. Naipundar ko ‘yun sa kakautang-utang ko sa mga Bombay. Araw-araw ‘yun naniningil pero si Robert, naging iresponsable siya. Naging solution ko na lang na naghahanapbuhay talaga ako para kung wala siyang maiuwi, me pagkain ang mga anak ko. Ayokong dumaing kahit kanino. Ayokong sabihin nila sa akin na nanganak ka ng marami eh, hindi mo pala kaya. Kahit sa mga magulang ko, hindi ko sinasabi. Parang yabang ko na lang sa sarili ko na kaya ko namang buhayin ang mga anak ko, although nahihirapan ako. Deretso lang ang paghahanapbuhay ko kahit manganganak na ako. Ang mga bata tuloy rin sa pag-aaral. ‘Yung mga anak ko, nakikita nila ang paghihirap ko kaya tinutulungan nila ako. Iba-iba ang tinda namin noon. Madaling-araw pa lang namimili na ako.
Josie Co (third from the top-right) with family
“Hindi ko alam kung papaano sisimulan makipagkaibigan sa kanila. Noong umpisa, inuman hanggang sa may magyaya na sa droga at sumama naman ako. Dun ako nagsimulang magumon sa drugs...”
Continued on next page 9
Continued from previous page ROBERT: Naghihintay na lang siya kung
may iaabot ako sa kanya.
ROSE: Nag-aaway kami kapag sinasaktan
niya ang mga anak namin. Gamit ang kahit anong makuha niyang wire, lalagyan niya ng “X” ‘yung likod ng mga anak niya. Alam kong me galit ‘yung mga anak ko. Tinatanong nila, kung bakit ganun. Ako naman, sasabihan ko si Robert, “Hindi naman ikaw ang bumubuhay sa kanila.” Doon ako talaga nagagalit kasi lahat ng sakripisyo ko, iniisip ko para sa mga anak ko. Sa tuwing namamalengke ako kahit na nabibigatan ako, kapag hawak ko na ang mga pinamili ko, sinasabi ko, para na lang sa mga anak ko ito.“ Kahit anong hirap at bigat, iniisip ko na hindi magugutom ang mga anak ko. ROBERT: May guilt feeling din ako. Kaso
hindi ko mapigilan ang sarili ko, hindi ko talaga kayang paglabanan. Basta kapag nagawa ko na ‘yung gusto kong gawin sa kanila, ‘yun na ‘yun, ganun na naman ulit kinabukasan, mga 14 years na ganun.
ROSE: May time din na nawala ‘yung
love ko kay Robert, pero sabi ko nga ang magiging paghihiwalay lang namin ay kung mamamatay siya. Dumating ako sa point na naisip kong magpakamatay, nakahiga ako, iyak ng iyak. Tinanong ko ang sarili ko kung saan ako nagkulang, bakit ito ang ibinigay Nya sa akin na buhay? Akala ko maiisip ni Robert na magbagong buhay at tulungan ako kasi nakita niya na nagpabaya na rin ako sa sarili ko. Tumigil siya mag-drugs pero nang okay-okay na ulit, hindi ko namalayan na bumalik na naman siya sa pagdra-drugs. ROBERT: Kahit ganun, sinisikap pa rin ni
Rose na maging intact ‘yung pamilya. Finding Answers.
ROSE: Nung time na ‘yun nahihirapan
na ako kasi lumalaki na’ng mga anak ko. 10
May nag-iinvite sa akin na miyembro ng Biyaheng Buhay, isang outreach program ng International Charismatic Service sa Mayflower St., Mandaluyong City. Sabi ko, “Sige, kapag may time na lang.” Kasi nga kung pupunta ako dun, maaabala ako. Umaga pa lang may naniningil na sa akin kaya hindi ako tumitigil magtinda. Kapag hindi ako nakabayad ng isang araw, dodoble ‘yun kinabukasan kaya ayokong naiistorbo. Pero everytime na magpi-pray ako, talagang may hinahanap ako. Sabi ko parang may kulang sa’kin. Magigising ako ng madaling araw na nag-iisip na parang hindi sapat ‘yung nakakain na sila at nakapag-aral. May hinahanap ako, may kulang. Noon ako nag-decide sumama sa Biyaheng Buhay. Sabado ‘yun. Wala akong idea sa Christian fellowship. Akala ko kakanta lang, alive-alive, eh Katoliko ako. May Bible study pala, merong tungkol sa family, paano magiging matatag, paano mo aayusin buhay mo. Maganda kasi related sa pinagdadaanan ko. Tapos nag-anounce na merong service sa church kinabukasan. Hindi na ako nagdalawang isip. Nagsimba ako kinabukasan. Pag-enter ko pa lang dun sa church, kanta pa lang, bumigay na ako. Dun na talaga ako nagsumbong, ganun na pala talaga kabigat ‘yung na- raramdaman ko, na sasabog na pala ako. Kasi tinago ko lahat, kasi nga wala akong mapagsabihan. Naglakad ako papuntang altar. May lumapit at nag-pray sa akin tapos pakiramdam ko parang ang lapit ko na sa Panginoon. Parang andyan lang Siya sa akin. Sabi ko, ito na pala ‘yun, ito na ‘yung hinahanap ko. Nag-pray ako, Lord, sa Iyo na ako kakapit. Sabi ko wala akong time, ang nangyari ipinagpatuloy ko ang pag-attend. Isang araw, pinagsulat kami ng limang taong ipapanalangin naming makasama sa church. Active na ako noon sa church. Target ko talaga si Robert, na alam kong wala talaga siyang Diyos sa
buhay nya. Sinulat ko ‘yung pangalan nya, at iba pa. Pero ang iniisip ko talaga kung makakasama ko ba si Robert? December ‘yun nangyari. Pagdating ng February, nagkasakit si Robert. Dinala ko na sya sa hospital. Parang nasisiraan na siya ng bait. Sabi nya may kumakausap daw sa kanya, matakutin sya, nerbiyoso. Sabi ko, “Dasal ka lang kay Lord.” After one week, nagkaroon ng medical mission sa church. Niyaya ko si Robert pumunta dun, sabi ko magpa-second opinion pero ang talagang purpose ko ay makatuntong lang siya ng church. Meron akong gustong ipakausap sa kanya sa church. Alumpihit pa si Robert ‘nun. Malapit na kami, nagyaya pa umuwi kasi me lagnat siya noon at nahihilo na. Nag-pray pa rin ako na maisama ko siya. Pagdating sa church, inasikaso siya tapos me kumausap sa kanya. ROBERT: Pinagbigyan ko lang si Rose
nung araw na ‘yun pero wala akong pakiramdam sa kung ano mang mangyayari kasi medical mission lang naman. Tapos pinatanggap ako ng isang kapatid.
Kinabukasan, Sunday, merong service sa church at niyaya ako ni Rose. Pagtungtong ko doon ay naramdaman ko ang presensiya ng Panginoon. Doon biglang nagbago ang lahat. Talagang for the first time sa buong buhay ko, doon lang ako umiyak. Sabi ko, ano ito? Bakit ngayon ko lang naramdaman ito? Noon ko lang nakita ‘yung mga kasalanan ko, ‘yung mga pagkukulang ko. ‘Yung mga ginawa ko kay Rose, iniyak ko ‘yun ng iniyak. Ibinuhos ko na lahat. Nagsisisi na rin ako. Humingi na rin ako ng tawad sa kanya. Doon nag-umpisang magbago ang lahat. Instantly nawala ‘yung pagnanasa ko sa drugs. Talagang purihin ang Panginoon. Matapos ‘yun, nagpatuloy kami sa church. May care group kami, nagpa-baptize na rin kami pati ‘yung mga anak namin. ‘Yung mga anak ko, hindi ko na magawang saktan. Humingi rin ako ng tawad sa kanila. Bumalik na rin ang pagmamahal sa akin ng panganay ko. Nagkukwentuhan na kami. Dati isinusumpa na nya ako. Sabi nya, “Bakit hindi pa ‘yan mamatay-matay na para matapos na ang paghihirap natin?” Continued on page 13 11
FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING
Growing Herbs for Fresh Tea by Kimberly Snider
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here are varieties of herbs that can be used in fresh tea with healthful benefits such as a mixture of peppermint, tarragon and stevia. Growing them yourself makes natural medicine readily available when you need it. I learned to use herbs when I attended training on herb production, utilization, and processing conducted by Remnant Institute of Alternative Medicine. I grow herbs in pots for my family’s use and as something to serve my guests. I also sell seedlings, which makes some additional income for my family and for the communities where I introduced this as their supplemental livelihood. Growing Peppermint, Tarragon and Stevia 1.
repare potting media by mixing P garden soil and compost at 50:50 ratio.
2. Fill seedling bags, pots, or recyclable containers with your prepared media. 3. Cut stems from the mother plant. Look for a leaf joint below the part of the stem. Make the cut just above the joint. Your planting material should have at least 3 nodes from the top where you will do the cutting. 4. Plant the stems right away after cutting for higher chances of survival. 5. Place the plants in shady areas and protect them from animals. 12
6. After two weeks, move the plants to half-shade areas where they can be exposed to morning sun. Note: Tarragon and Stevia are fragile. It helps if the newly planted cuttings are covered with half of a transparent water bottle for the first two weeks. Harvesting When leaves are abundant you can start cutting them for tea. Cut the leaves in the morning before the heat of the day. Leave at least 25% of the mother plant so it will produce new growth after harvest. The secret of keeping the mother plant robust is to keep trimming. Stevia should not be allowed to reach flowering stage because then the sweetness of the leaves are drawn to the flowers. (If they do flower, just use the flowers to sweeten your tea!) Making Tea To make infusion, use 50 grams of fresh leaves in 500 ml boiling water. This can be a mixture of these 3 herbs. For just one cup of tea, use 5-7 peppermint leaves, 7 leaves of stevia, and 3 leaves of tarragon. Pour boiling water on the leaves and squeeze half a calamansi over the mixture. Steep for 1-2 minutes.
MOMS MAGAZINE
Wrap and Roll Wraps: • • •
Lettuce leaves Napa Cabbage or Pechay Baguio Mustard leaves (Mustasa)
Herbs: • • •
Coriander Basil leaves Mint leaves
What to wrap (Filling): • • • • • •
Cucumber, peeled, cut into 2” long and sliced thinly Fried Shanghai rolls Dumplings Left over chicken meat or beef or pork Grilled or fried boneless fish fillet Steamed shrimp, shelled
For the dip, mix well and season to taste • • • • • •
Garlic, minced Siling Labuyo (optional Sugar Ground pepper Vinegar Fish sauce
Continued from page 11
Inayos rin ni Lord ang katawan ko. Kasi nga naging high blood ako, nagkaroon na ako ng GERD, namamaga na ang kidney ko pero lahat ‘yun nawala. ROSE: Lahat ng gawain sa church napu-
puntahan ko. Si Robert na ang namamalengke. Siya na rin ang nagtitinda. ‘Yung mga hindi nya dati ginagawa, ginagawa na niya. Maraming naging blessing si Lord sa amin. Dati hindi kami marunong magpray. Kakain kami, kanya-kanya lang. Ngayon, palagi lang kaming nagpre-pray. Pati ‘yung 3-year old namin, marunong na rin mag-pray. The best na nangyari sa amin, nagkaroon kami ng kapayapaan at naging sobrang masaya kami. Ngayon nag-aaral kami ng Word of God sa church. Iba talaga, kasi dati kahit nagsisikap ka, kahit anong sikap mo walang joy, walang peace of mind, iintindihin mo agad, paano bukas… Ngayon, sinabi namin kay Lord na kung ano man ang gusto Niyang ipagawa sa amin, gagawin namin. Relasyon pala sa Panginoon ang kailangan talaga. Ngayon, nagli-lead na rin kami ng sariling care group namin.
Procedure: Wash vegetables and herbs well. Soak in cold drinking water for a few minutes before drying with paper towels. Arrange the wraps, herbs and filling separately in a platter. In a plate, spread a wrap of your choice. On the narrow end, put your choice of herbs, about 2 slices of cucumber, and one of the fillings. Fold the leaf over twice, fold the sides and continue to roll. Dip in sauce before eating. 13
ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS
Just Asking with Peter Banzon
I love my children so I allowed them to live with me even though they already have their own family. I am happy with this, but sometimes I feel that they are taking advantage of me. Often they leave their children with me while they meet their friends and then they come back very late. I am obliged to cook because I don’t want my grandchildren to go hungry. Is there a way to handle this without making my children move out and without making my grandchildren feel I don’t want them? How can I set boundaries? Are boundaries selfish?
Q:
L
ove for family is an enduring value that is very commendable in our culture. It is a joy to take care of your grandchildren but, by assuming your children’s responsibility so they can be free to meet with friends, you are sending the message that their actions are agreeable to you. When you fail to set boundaries, your kindness can be abused. What was once a joy becomes a burden.
A:
Cut the umbilical cord so to speak. As head of your household call for a
family meeting and kindly tell everyone how you feel about the situation. Set boundaries by clarifying expectations. Your children should adjust their lifestyle to ensure that their children are cared for. When your children take their rightful responsibility, they are setting an example for their own kids. They will reinforce the values found in the word of God. Ephesians 6: 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with a promise, 3 “so that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” If your children honor you, then they will not allow you to be unduly stressed by assuming their responsibilities. Honoring one’s parent’s means helping them have an easier life in their old age. It’s all right to babysit some of the time, but NOT all of the time!
What the Bible says about boundaries... 1 Peter 2:17 (NLT), “Respect everyone, and love the family of believers. Fear God, and respect the king.”
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