Volume 14 / Issue 53 / 2017
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EDITORIAL
To Start a Relationship with Jesus Christ Admit you have sinned. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 Believe in Jesus. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish; but have eternal life.” John 3:16b
(L-R) Johnson, Patrick, Evelyn, and Kim
MOMS EDITORIAL STAFF Editor, MOMS Evelyn Damian Distribution Johnson Li
Confess and leave your sin behind. Stop sinning. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9
Cover & Layout Patrick Tan
To continue growing in your relationship with Christ, fellowship with other believers, read the Bible and pray!
• Eliseo See
Editorial Consultant Kimberly Snider
Thank you for your financial help! • Friend from Quezon City
May the Lord bless you!
Kindly consider a new project... More and more people are reading MOMS online. To reach more Filipinas, we want to advertise MOMS on Facebook. To do that, we need your prayers and financial help. To help support this project, send cash or check made payable to: Asia Pacific Media Ministries FAO MOMS. To make a direct deposit, use our BPI, C/A #24310042-27. All contributions are used entirely for the outreach of this publication. Thank you! Published quarterly by Asia Pacific Media Ministries. Unit 2608 Raffles Corporate Center, Emerald Avenue, Ortigas Center, 1605 Pasig City, Philippines. Telephone: 914-9767. E-mail: moms@apmedia.org. Reproduction of photos and articles is prohibited without permission.
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MOMS MAGAZINE
From My Heart Dear Readers,
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his issue is dear to my heart. It not only tells about mothers who love their children in different ways, but also about Someone who can love our children more than we ever could. My interview with Feliz Lucas was a reminder that life is temporary and we don’t know how short or long we will be here, but it doesn’t really matter. What matters is how we touch others through the life we live. I pray that our articles in this issue will inspire you to put your hope in the One who loves you most, Jesus! Evelyn Damian, Editor
Table of Contents Editorial
From My Heart 3 Chika-Chika
Where does courage come from? 4 Wise Choices
Special Needs Children: Parents take action! 6 God is Bigger than Autism 7 Make A Difference
Courageous Catie, Courageous Mom 8 Figuratively Speaking
Healthy Eating in Children 12 Answers to Your Questions
What does the Bible say about people with special needs? 14 3
CHIKA-CHIKA
Where Does Courage Come From? by Kimberly Snider
H
e took a deep breath and they slipped the IV needle into his arm. His face paled and his breathing stepped up, as it always did, when the chemo drugs began to penetrate his system. But, he was resolute. My son had decided to fight for his life; he wanted to live.
That was my life 20 years ago; watching my son absorb the nauseating and painful chemotherapy that would save his life. Since that time I have continued to marvel at how my son and I were able to
survive the 13 months in a cancer research center. I remember his courage and his determination to beat the stage 4 lymphoma that had invaded his 14-year-old body. I ask myself even now, ‘How did Mark have the courage to submit month after month to the poisons that wracked his immune system?’ “How did I have the courage to watch him do it?’ I also remember other children, other mothers who went through the hell of cancer and I ask myself where did our courage come from? In quiet moments, I reflect that life is made up of a great deal of joy and still more impossible challenges. Part of the earthly journey is learning to overcome the hard things of life. It is from pain that we grow stronger; it is from disappointment that we learn perseverance and hope. And, it is from the crises of life, that we gain enough compassion to love others. But this kind of courage has to come from somewhere outside of our own strength. My first hours in the children’s cancer hospital were fraught with both despair and anger and these emotions lasted a long time. Days. Weeks. Months. As people prayed for me, I found myself able to
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MOMS MAGAZINE
“I ask myself even now, ‘How did Mark have the courage to submit month after month to the poisons that wracked his immune system?’ “How did I have the courage to watch him do it?” endure sleepless nights, long car journeys, the tears of other parents whose children did not live. I found that the same strength propelled my son into the chemo ward and enabled me to enter the fight with him. Where did this courage come from? The book of 1 Samuel in the Bible records the trials of King David. In chapter 30, verse 6, we find these words: “David was greatly distressed… But David found strength in the LORD his God.” Courage to walk through life’s deepest valleys comes from God alone. In the 23rd psalm the same David writes: “Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” Simply stated courage comes only from God. Is godly courage available to everyone? Yes and no.
It is available if we ask; it is available if we have the relationship with God that enables Him to inhabit our minds and hearts. You know already whether you have that close relationship to God or not. If you don’t, you can have. It requires sincerity, belief, and willingness to learn. It requires commitment. If you want to know the God who is able to walk through life’s valleys with you, you have to build a relationship with Jesus. Pray to God and tell Him you want Him in your life. Start reading the Bible-the Gospel of John is a great place to start. Look for a church where the Bible is strongly taught. Pray and believe and EXPECT God to give you enough courage to face your life. Real courage, sufficient courage, only comes from a relationship with God.
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WISE CHOICES
Special Needs Children: Parents take action!
by Fiel John Meria, special ed. teacher whose mission is to bring the love of Jesus Christ to people who have family members with special needs.
I
am an adult who has been diagnosed with Attention-Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and my brother has autism. From personal experience, I’d say that the intentional way our parents dealt with us was the key to our successfully coping with the difficulties of our conditions as we went through college and learned to interact correctly with other people. Not all children have obvious special needs. Some children have special needs that are hard to diagnose. Even though these needs might not be apparent at first, the results can be very severe if parents do not take action early.
The kinds of special needs that are somewhat hidden are collectively known as neurodevelopmental disorders (NDs). According to doctors these conditions are things we are born with. They affect us as we go through our different life stages. Some examples of these conditions include: lack of interest in socializing with other children; unusually repetitive behaviors such as arranging things over and over again; language delay; excessive age-inappropriate hyperactivity and inattention: and the inability to learn academic tasks such as reading. With the exception of Down’s Syndrome, most of these disorders do not have obvious physical characteristics, and are not normally discovered until the disability is confirmed by a specialist doctor. 6
This lack of physical symptoms is why teachers don’t always recognize these kinds of special needs in their students, or why parents may stay in “denial.” They tend to ignore irregular behaviors or blame them on bad genes from one side of the family or on bad parenting. But the truth is, that it is no one’s fault. In fact, these impairments are not accidents that God made. In 2 Corinthians 12, God told Paul that, “My power is made perfect in weakness” in order that He would be glorified. As I work with adult that have special needs, I see these people excelling in specific areas of interest, creating a life for themselves and bringing glory to God in spite of their condition. Today, the government extends help to children with special needs in at least one of three ways. First, it helps by including these kids in the general education setup in many public schools. According to R.A. 7277 “Magna Carta for Disabled Persons” and a DepEd press release last February 24, 2017, the general education system will attempt to help these children be educated in the same setup as typical students. Secondly, according to the same law, these individuals are qualified to obtain a PWD card, which functions almost similarly as a Senior Citizen’s Card. Lastly, government hospitals have developmental pediatricians and child psychiatrists who offer free consultations and direct each case differently as each child is unique.
MOMS MAGAZINE
God is Bigger than Autism by Daisy Lacuanan-Callanta
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hen our youngest son Josiah was two and a half years old, he was diagnosed with Autism, ADHD and PDD with speech delay. My heart and spirit were broken. As the doctor was trying to explain his condition, my head couldn’t comprehend what he was saying; it just seemed that my son had a disability that had all the D’s in the alphabet. Like any other mother, I was in so much pain. I found myself asking the Lord, “Why?” “Why would a loving God allow such a hopeless illness fall on my baby?”
Daisy with Josiah
I didn’t get God’s answer that day. The future was unknown but I found comfort in the Bible where it says that all things work for our good. (Romans 8:28) I couldn’t see how this could be true, but I chose to trust God and put my hope in Him. Unless you have an autistic child, you will not be able to fully grasp and understand how difficult and painful the journey actually is. When my son was almost four years old, he still could not express himself. I felt as if my heart broke into thousand pieces as I grieved for conversations I would never have with him. The fear of not being able to hear him say “I love you, Mommy,”or tell me how he felt when he was in pain or sick was unbearable. There was overwhelming sadness because of the many things Josiah would never experience; things that other parents simply take for granted like going to children’s parties, playing with other kids at the park, singing and dancing during school plays, and much more. Amidst the hopelessness and endless therapy sessions God remained faithful. His amazing grace turned our sorrows into joys. Our experience provided us the opportunity to help others going on the same journey. Here is what I have learned: Autism may be a part of who my son is, but it is definitely not all of him. Many “experts” say that autistic children are unable to show emotion. But Josiah brightened my day after a long day at work when he showered me with hugs and kisses. He held hands Continued on page 13 7
MAKE A DIFFERENCE
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first heard about “Courageous Caitie,” from my daughter who lives abroad. It was a social media page that went viral about Caitie Lucas, a 3-year old who was suffering from a sickness that doctors couldn’t identify. What struck me when I first followed this page were Caitie’s parents’ vulnerability, their honest account of their emotions and their strong faith in God. Earlier this year, I had the opportunity to interview Caitie’s mom, Feliz Lucas, and hear her story. Feliz and her husband, Jay Jay Lucas have 3 children, Caitie, Ethan, and Calea. Previously, Feliz was a successful fashion stylist and merchandiser, but she gave up her career to have more time for her family. Currently, she is helping her husband with his business. This job gives her flexibility to take care of her family and household. Feliz has always tried to learn everything about how to have an ideal family,and they were doing well until September 2015. In September 2015, Catie became sickly. She was 3 years old. The doctor diagnosed diarrhea, insect bites, fever, cough, co1d, and gave appropriate treatment. Then, Caitie started to have lesions on her foot. Eventually, the lesions spread 8
to her legs, then to her thighs, and body. Feliz was worried and the doctor tried to find out what was wrong. After some blood tests, the doctor ruled out leukemia, but there was something wrong, and Feliz determined to know what it was. “We went to different oncologists and other doctors.” Feliz recalls, “Sabi nila, there was nothing to be alarmed of. Lahat sila, they said it was not leukemia pero nung pina-ultrasound siya, lumalaki ‘yung spleen niya. We brought her to the Emergency Room on New Year’s Eve (2016). Ayun maraming blood test. They had Caitie undergo bone marrow aspiration. It was difficult for us, kasi may leukemia ba o wala? Meron? Wala? “The night before she was scheduled for her bone marrow aspiration, I was praying and the story of Abraham and Isaac came to my mind so I thought maybe God wanted us to go through this so He could use our story to bring people to Him. I was hopeful so we just waited for her to be tested, so many tests, paulit-ulit din na bone marrow aspiration. Wala pa ring diagnosis.” Despite their own uncertainties, Feliz and Jay Jay resolved not to let their pain
MOMS MAGAZINE
“If I was teaching my daughter to love Him more than anything, I need to live up to my teaching and love Him more than I loved her.” Feliz with Catie
Feliz Lucas
go to waste. They visited other children who were confined in the hospital. They let Caitie give out books to the children. They cheered them up and did activities with them. A few months before Caitie got sick, Feliz had had a sudden urge to share the Gospel with her. “She was around 2½ years old at that time. We had a bracelet that represented the Gospel and she became really interested. I explained it to her and afterwards, I asked her, “Do you want to pray with Mommy and talk to Jesus and tell him that you believe in Him?” She said, “Yes.” So, we prayed together and I will always remember that morning. After that I did follow up; like we would do activities about the Gospel.” The doctors still couldn’t find what was wrong with Caitie so in February, 2016, Feliz and Jay Jay flew her to Singapore to seek medical help. But even the doctors in Singapore had a hard time diagnosing Caitie’s illness.
Meanwhile, Feliz maximized her time with Caitie. She home schooled her so she wouldn’t lag behind in her studies if she got well. She continued to strengthen her faith in Jesus. She said, “I needed her to know that Jesus will always be in our hearts, that Jesus also loves the other kids in the hospital. At night, we slept on a small couch in the room or sometimes on the floor, but it was one of the best memories I have because it was then that I knew I needed to love Jesus more than Continued on next page 9
MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Continued from previous page
I loved my daughter. I had to fix my eyes on Him whatever we were going through because He is the One who decides the future, and it was going to be exactly how it was supposed to be. If I was teaching my daughter to love Him more than anything, I need to live up to my teaching and love Him more than I loved her. I know God loved Caitie more than I could ever love her.“ Feliz was amazed that people they didn’t know came and visited them. These people had learned about Caitie through their social media posts. There were Indians, Singaporeans, Chinese, Filipinos, Americans, and other nationalities. They brought food, beddings, books and other things they needed. There were also instances when the situation was reversed. Feliz said, “I don’t know why they shared with us what they were going through and we would end up praying for them, but I saw it as an opportunity to share Jesus. People knew we are Christians. We didn’t really hide it naman. While waiting for medical results, we gave gospel tracts to other patients, nagbigay kami ng mga kids’ books, kids’ activities and even gave some people a little bit of monetary help.” When there were fundraising events for Caitie, Feliz and Jay-Jay made sure that the Gospel would be shared before they accepted monetary help. On Caitie’s part, she lived a life of obedience so her response to sickness was different. She did not complain. As weeks passed and there was still no diagnosis, Feliz was desperate. She said, “During that time, I was a bit angry with the Lord. I wanted God to tell me 10
if Caitie was going to die? Was she going to have leukemia? But God was silent. I even debated with Him, ‘Lord, how will people believe that You are powerful if she dies?’ We had sleepless nights reading the Bible kasi we wanted to know what He wanted to happen.” Finally, it was confirmed that Caitie had JMML, a rare juvenile cancer. Feliz and Jay Jay had Ethan flown to Singapore and had him tested for the bone marrow transplant that Caitie needed. Caitie’s health was failing. The doctors wanted to intubate Caitie (a procedure where they put in a breathing tube). Before Caitie was intubated, Feliz got the result of Ethan’s test. His bone marrow did not match Caitie’s; their son could not be a donor for the bone transplant procedure that they had hoped would save Caitie’s life. Additionally, it was an ordeal making the decision whether or not to push through with the breathing tube. The doctor said there was a chance that she wouldn’t wake up anymore. Feliz said, “I was looking at the monitor, bumabagsak na talaga her stats. Parang God is saying no to her to continue here on earth.” Finally, Feliz spoke to Caitie. “Caitie, they need to intubate you.” Caitie said, “No.” I said, “Remember when they removed a part of your skin and you had to go through the pain? It’s just the same thing. You have to go through a little bit of pain so that you will be healed.” She said, “Okay.” I said, “It might be that when you wake-up, you might not be able to see mommy. But if you hear mommy, I want you to press my hand.” She said okay. “Do you love mommy?” She pressed my hand. “If you shout
Evelyn interviewing Feliz
“Mommy,” and mommy doesn’t come, I need you to shout “Jesus.” I’m sure that He will be there. You just go with Him, okay? There’s a possibility that you will die, but you don’t have to fear death.” Direct to the point lang kasi if I sugar coat, that’s not love. Tapos, sabi ko, “OK Caitie, one last time, let’s take our picture.” Caitie smiled.” And then she closed her eyes. I told her, “Caitie, I’ll just be outside the room. I love you.” So we left. The doctors had a hard time stabilizing her. After 4 hours, I said, “Doc, it’s okay, we’re letting her go.” It was March 31, 2016 when Caitie passed away. Feliz says, “When we said we’re letting her go, parang tanggap na namin. But after that, it was hard. It was so painful, parang we lost ourselves. I asked God, ‘Why? Wasn’t I good enough? Didn’t I love You enough?” Later, the doctor told Feliz and Jay Jay that their bone marrow test also didn’t match Caitie’s, although it showed they
were her parents as it had shown that Ethan was her sibling. Feliz said, “The circumstances were really a closed door. That was closure for me na hindi ako nasayangan kasi makikita mo God really said no. It was God’s plan for her, her going through this unknown disease; He closed the eyes of the doctors to find out kung ano’ng sickness. I mean, we went through 30 doctors, and still the circumstances did not work out. So her life was lived exactly as it should be. Hindi siya kulang, hindi siya sobra, sakto lang. So, the moment that you accept na we are only God’s stewards of our children, your perspective will change. Teach yourself to say, ‘Jesus, I love you more than Caitie.’ Honestly, for a mother it’s hard to say that. Hindi mo man lang siya ma-verbalize, but the more you say it, that’s what loving your child is. Teach your children to love Jesus more than you. You are willing to allow the One who can love her more than you can ever love your child to accomplish His will. 11
Dr. Lorna’s grandson tasting boiled beans.
WISE CHOICES
Healthy Eating in Children
while children are very young. Solid foods should be introduced one at a time. Don’t introduce solid food earlier than six months or later than seven months. Mothers can start by giving a teaspoon or two of lugaw or any vegetable or fruit puree, one kind at a time, and gradually increase the amount of food being served after the baby is accustomed to the taste, and no ill effects are noted. Foods like lugaw or mashed boiled squash or mashed banana or soup of strained mashed monggo can be tried and given once a day preferably during lunch time.
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3) Young children should not be given food that has no nutritional values like candy, chocolates, and soda. Instead, encourage them to eat food like vegetables, fruits, and root crops. Giving them food with poor nutritional value can lead to obesity or weight loss and malnutrition. There are times when we allow our children to eat unhealthy food, like sweets and soft drinks offered to them at parties, provided they eat the healthy foods first. When they are full, they will consume only a little of the unhealthy food.
Here are tips on how to introduce healthy eating habits to children:
5) Proper timing of food intake should be observed. Set the time when they should eat breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. If you don’t do this, it will cause confusion to the children and will lead to loss of appetite. Our kids started to join us at mealtime when they turned 2 years old.
by Dr. Lorna Carmela A. Protasio
aving toddlers at home requires a lot of patience and persistence when it comes to instilling healthy eating habits. Some children at this age are finicky and it is difficult to encourage them to adapt healthy eating which will affect the development of their body as they grow. Deprivation of necessary food nutrients can lead to certain diseases that can cause ill health, poor growth, and delayed development.
1) Mothers should breastfeed their newborn for at least six months. This is done so that babies will acquire the necessary food nutrients needed for growth and development. Breastmilk is best for babies. 2) Good eating habits can be developed 12
6) Make food presentation appealing to the child. It should taste palatable, neither bitter nor sour, neither salty nor sweet.
MOMS MAGAZINE
7) Set the example of good eating habits for your children. Our kids were accustomed to the food we prepared, and they’d see us eat the same food we served them, so it wasn’t much of a problem to get them to eat. We also allowed them to help in gathering or preparing vegetables and then they were excited to eat them. The effect of starting children to eat the right food, with the right proportions and at the right time, will be evident throughout their lifetimes.
Autism, continued.
with me when I drove him to school, as his way of showing the appreciation that he couldn’t express in words. Autism brought us closer to God as a family. Josiah has no mean bone in his body. He simply accepts and loves us with all his heart asking nothing in return. Patience, understanding, and love are now the words we live by. First honed in our relationship with Josiah, we now apply these qualities to our interactions with each other. Autism has taught us not to quickly judge people around us. I used to judge parents when I saw children misbehaving in restaurants thinking that they were raising spoiled children who lacked discipline. Now, I have learned to be more sensitive. I know that tantrums and meltdowns are languages some children with special needs use as a cry for help. God used our son to teach us to understand before insisting to be understood. We are now more discerning of how others feel, and more cognizant that there may be underlying reasons for bad behavior. After my 40th birthday, I began to feel a deep longing to have a closer relationship with God. I started to pray and spend more time with Jesus. On June 15, 2016, I was baptized in the Spirit. For the first time in forty years, I was filled by the powerful presence and awesome love of God. A week later, on June 22, 2016, as I was praying, I heard Jesus clearly say, “Daisy, Josiah is healed.”Tears rolled down my eyes, I said, “Thank you Jesus! I receive that and claim it in faith.” Two days after that, Josiah’s therapist said, “I don’t know what happened but the Josiah who sat with me today is not the same child I have been seeing for two years. He showed no trace of autism at all.” God is bigger than autism. Today, Josiah has proven to be more advanced in many ways than kids of the same age. He recently graduated from pre-school in a regular Christian school with a medal. He is now doing many things “medical experts” said he would never do. 13
ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS
Just Asking with Peter Banzon
Q:
Does the Bible mention anything about children being born with special needs? Why did God allow such? Does the Bible say anything about respecting and loving people with special needs?
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he Bible mentions several people who were born with special needs: lame, blind, deaf or mute. When God created the world, everything was good. There was no disease, no sickness not even death. But when sin entered into the world, it caused untold damage to human existence.
A:
Romans 5:12, “Therefore, as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, so death has spread to all men, because all have sinned.” Creation itself was negatively affected. I believe even human DNA was damaged such that some are born with physical, mental or emotional defects. When Jesus the divine Son of God entered this world, how did He react to these conditions? When He saw those who were physically, mentally and emotionally challenged, Jesus was filled with compassion. He not only felt compassion, He acted! He touched them at the point of their need, healing them everywhere they hurt, comforting them, giving them hope! He taught His followers to include those with special needs as part of their community. Luke 14:13,14, “But when you prepare a banquet, call the poor, the maimed, the lame, the blind, and you will be blessed, for they cannot repay you. You shall be repaid at the resurrection of the just.” God wants us to be like Him when dealing with children with special needs. • We must not discriminate against them. They have the same rights as we do. • We must make them feel accepted and loved through our attitudes, actions and words. • We must communicate God’s love for them by sharing the good news about Jesus Christ who loved them enough to give His life on the cross so they can have eternal life now and in eternity. If they are treated lovingly and compassionately by both children and adults, special needs children will grow up to become loving and well-adjusted individuals. If they feel the love of Jesus through you and me, they will want to have that same relationship with our compassionate, loving and caring God. 14
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