Volume 14 / Issue 53 / 2017
1
EDITORIAL
To Start a Relationship with Jesus Christ Admit you have sinned. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.” Romans 3:23 Believe in Jesus. “For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish; but have eternal life.” John 3:16b
(L-R) Johnson, Evelyn, Kim, and Patrick
MOMS EDITORIAL STAFF Editor, MOMS Evelyn Damian Distribution Johnson Li Cover & Layout Patrick Tan Editorial Consultant Kimberly Snider
Confess and leave your sin behind. Stop sinning. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just, and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 To continue growing in your relationship with Christ, fellowship with other believers, read the Bible and pray!
We need a little help from our friends...
More and more people are reading MOMS online. To reach more Filipinas, we want to advertise MOMS on Facebook. To do that, we need your prayers and financial help. To help support this project, send cash or check made payable to: Asia Pacific Media Ministries FAO MOMS. To make a direct deposit, use our BPI, C/A #2431-0042-27. All contributions are used entirely for the outreach of this publication. Thank you! Published quarterly by Asia Pacific Media Ministries. Unit 2608 Raffles Corporate Center, Emerald Avenue, Ortigas Center, 1605 Pasig City, Philippines. Telephone: 914-9767. E-mail: moms@apmedia.org. Reproduction of photos and articles is prohibited without permission. 2
MOMS MAGAZINE
From My Heart Dear Readers,
W
e always want to have what we think is best for us. Sometimes, as we try to fulfill our dreams, we forget who we are, hurt the people we love, and we become miserable. But no matter how hopeless our situation seems to be, when God moves in our lives, there is a change of direction, a new heart, a new year to start over again. In Luke 11:9-10, Jesus says, “And so I tell you, keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks, receives. Everyone who seeks, finds. And to everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.”(NLT) I hope you enjoy the contents of this issue. There are stories of moms whose lives were changed, an article on how to start spiritually strong this year, and a doctor’s recommendation about women’s health care. God bless you and Happy New Year! Evelyn Damian, Editor
Table of Contents EDITORIAL
From My Heart 3 CHIKA-CHIKA
Daily Time with Jesus 4 WISE CHOICES
A New Year, A New Heart 6 MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Light Shining in the Darkness 8 FIGURATIVELY SPEAKING
Women’s Health: What Tests to Take 12 ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS
Internet as Babysitter 14 3
CHIKA-CHIKA
Daily Time with Jesus by Kimberly Snider
I
was sitting at my desk. The phone rang; an emergency in my family. I felt so alone. Belatedly, I remembered I had skipped my devotional time that morning. Since I didn’t spend time with the Lord, I was not sharp spiritually; it was harder to hear God’s voice and it was harder to know what to do, or what to say. Whenever I skip my daily devotional time with the Lord, I regret it. It seems those are the days where I need to be on my toes spiritually and if I don’t spend time with the Lord, I am not ready. Do you relate?
If you, like me, want to be prepared for the next life challenge you will face, having regular devotions is a real step forward. In Ephesians 6, Paul writes about putting on His “armor”(His spiritual protective covering) everyday. “Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power,” Paul writes. “Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.” One way to put on your “armor” is to spend time with the Father everyday. Time with God allows you to listen to Him and get your heart ready to cooperate with whatever He plans to do on the day ahead. You will also find you can cope better with emergencies. When I first became a born-again Christian a lot of people told me that I needed to have devotions the first thing in the morning. “No Bible, no breakfast!” one teacher declared. While that is a great goal, morning is not the only time to have devotions. Find a time that is good for you, whatever hour of the day it may be. A good way to plan your time with God is to divide it up into parts. Spend time in worship. Sing to God, or just tell Him how much you love and appreciate Him. Thank Him for all He has done for you and your family. It is important to tell those we love that we love them. We need to do this for the Lord, too. Read something from God’s Word that will help you in grow in faith. Some people read devotionals and that is fine, as long as you read the Bible, too. Some of my friends like to listen to the audio Bible on their phone. The Bible Gateway app has audio Bible, and if you choose NIV, you can choose
4
MOMS MAGAZINE
audio in dramatized form. You can listen as you put on your make up and get ready for work. These apps make the Bible seem more real and more exciting! It also has the written Bible in several versions like English, Tagalog, Cebuano, Ilonggo, Spanish, etc. Spend time in prayer. Paul writes in Philippians, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.” I think it is ok to tell the Lord all that is in your heart. He knows it, anyway! Finally, listen. Be quiet and see what God has to say to you. Seldom does He speak in a voice you can hear, but He will speak to your heart. Ask God to be with you, to stand at your shoulder and direct you in everything you do, in every word you say. If you do these things, you will be ready to face whatever comes. You can walk with confidence into your future. My favorite scripture verse comes from the book of Jeremiah in chapter 11. It says, “You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” Daily devotions are a wonderful way to seek God.
5
WISE CHOICES
A New Year, A New Heart as told to Evelyn Damian
Belen Estrada is a widow and a mother to 4 children. She shares about her past and how God worked in her life. This is her story.
“I
grew up in Basilan. Mula pa sa pagkabata, salat na ako sa pagmamahal ng magulang kasi broken home kami. Pinaghiwalay ng lolo ko ang nanay at tatay ko dahil hindi sila kasal. Tatlo kaming magkakapatid and I am the youngest. Sabi ng nanay ko, buwisit daw ako sa buhay niya kasi bago ako naipinanganak, naghiwalay sila ng tatay ko. Hindi ‘yun nawala sa isip ko. Nagkaroon ng bagong pamilya ang mga magulang ko. Eventually, lumipat kami sa lolo’t lola ko at paminsan-minsan pumupunta rin kami sa mga magulang namin. Noong Photo by Alvin Abad graduation ko sa high school, wala kahit isang nag-attend sa family ko. Siguro nakalimutan nila pero hindi ko napigilang umiyak, nag-self-pity ako. ‘Yung mga classmates ko, kasama ang parents nila, binibigyan sila ng flowers, gifts, pero sa akin, wala. After graduation, kinuha ako ng tiyahin ko kasi nagbakasyon noon ‘yung mga maids niya. Ako ang naging all-around katulong niya sa kanyang bahay at tindahan. Maraming nanliligaw sa akin doon and one time, narinig ko si Auntie na sinisiraan ako sa kanila. Dahil sa kahihiyan, nag-attempt akong mag-suicide. Humigop ako ng maraming kerosene hanggang hindi na ako makahinga. Natakot talaga ako. Akala ko kasi makakatulog lang ako at mamatay na. Mabuti na lang at dumating ang ate ko at nailigtas ako. Hindi nagtagal, sumama ako sa nanay ko sa Zamboanga City. Nakapagtrabaho ako doon bilang receptionist sa isang portrait studio kung saan nakilala ko ang naging asawa ko. Matagal kaming nagsama at marami nang nangyari sa amin bago kami nagpakasal. Apat ang naging anak namin.
6
MOMS MAGAZINE
Nang magkaroon ako ng pamilya at nagkasama kami ng nanay ko sa bahay, nakapag-usap kami tungkol sa mga hinanakit ko sa kanya at nagka-ayos naman kami. Samantala, ang aking asawa naman ay mabisyo, palabarkada at babaero. Dahil dito, puno ng lungkot at konsumisyon ang buhay ko at naisipan kong wakasan muli ang buhay ko pero dala ng galit, naisipan kong maghiganti na lang. Sinabi ko sa asawa ko na kung kaya niyang mambabae, kayo ko ring manlalake. At nangyari nga ang gusto ko. Nag-abroad ako para magtrabaho. Para akong ibong nakawala sa hawla. Iba’t-ibang lalake ang pinatulan ko. Hinanap ko ang pagmamahal na hindi ko naramdaman simula pa sa aking pagkabata. Kapag umuuwi ako, hindi ako natitigil sa bahay. Minsan sa Manila, tumira ako sa pamangkin ko habang inaayos ang papers ko para magtrabaho sa Dubai. Isinama niya ako sa kanilang church at doon ko tinanggap si Hesus bilang Lord and Savior. Hindi naging malalim ang pagkakilala ko sa Panginoon at patuloy pa rin ang struggle kong maging masaya. Nakaalis ako at nasa Dubai, taong 2011, nang mabalitaan ko ang pinakamasaklap na pangyayari sa buhay ko, ang pagsui-suicide ng aking kaisa-isang anak na lalake sa kanyang birthday dahil sa addiction sa drugs. Napakasakit sa isang ina ang ganitong pangyayari at kinausap ko ang Diyos kung bakit ganito ang nangyari sa amin. Dala ng kagustuhan kong mapayapa ang aking kalooban, nag-pray akong makahanap ng Christian church doon at tinugon ng Diyos ang aking panalangin. Sa church na iyon, para kaming isang pamilya. Ipinapag-pray nila ako at pinapayuhan. Naging active ako sa mga gawain sa church ngunit marami pa rin akong dapat matutunan, marami pang dapat baguhin. Naghiganti ako sa aking asawa pero hindi ako naging masaya sa desisyon na ‘yun. Nagsisi ako at humingi ng tawad sa Diyos sa mga kasalanang nagawa ko. Noong 2012, nagkasakit ang asawa ko at umuwi ako para asikasuhin siya. Bumalik ako sa Dubai nang maging maayos ang kanyang kalagayan. After a year, naospital siya ulit at doon na siya binawian ng buhay. In 2015, umuwi ako sa Pilipinas at nanirahan sa Manila kasama ang aking pangalawang anak at apo. Natutunan ko na hindi solusyon ang paghihiganti sa taong nakasakit sa atin. In my case, gumawa ako ng masama para makaganti pero ang resulta, nasaktan na ako, nagkasala pa at naging miserable ang buhay. I surrendered everything to Christ dahil hindi ko kayang harapin mag-isa ang mga pagsubok at tukso ng buhay. Kailangan ko Siya para mamuhay ng ayon sa Kanyang kagustuhan.
7
MAKE A DIFFERENCE
by Theresa F. Millarez
Theresa Fuentes Millarez met her husband, Christopher Millarez, during a church evangelistic outreach. She shared the Gospel with him. She never thought they would meet again after that, but eventually, they did. Now, they’ve been married for 12 years and have two children, Lindsey Miles, 10, and Lyndon Klyde, 7. Theresa currently teaches an elementary grade in a public school. She got her master’s degree in teaching English.
T
he numbers on the clock showed midnight. My eyes were still wide open. My mind was too disturbed to fall asleep as I looked at the man by my side. Although I loved him, questions kept surfacing: “Does he really love me? Will our marriage last until we grow old? Can I really stay in this relationship? Why isn’t my husband like other husbands? “ Respect, special treatment, love, and courtship are the things that every woman wants to experience in marriage. I wanted them, too, but instead I was always crying; I was always getting hurt. I did not understand why it kept happening. After all, I had prayed for this relationship and I knew we were meant to be together. However, our relationship was far from the idealistic one I had hoped for when we got married. 8
I wanted a man who was thoughtful and expressive. But, my husband is not like that. I always had to remind him about our special days. In 2012, I told myself I would not remind him it was our wedding anniversary. I would see if he could remember it himself. By 3:00 pm, I had heard nothing from him. When he realized I was annoyed, he drove me to a fast food chain for an afternoon snack. Then, I told him, “Next year, please try to be more thoughtful.” But on our next anniversary he forgot again. I acted sad but I didn’t tell him the reason. Finally, he remembered, but it was too late to celebrate. Then, he got angry, too. He said; “You know how busy I was today. Why didn’t you remind me? You are selfish not to remind me!”
Theresa with her family.
I was also disappointed that my husband did not talk to me as much as I talked to him. I always told him everything that happened to me, and everything that I had heard that day. I expected him to do the same, but he just listened, and did not say much. I was really vocal at times. I told him, “I am a woman. Even before I express my thoughts, you should know them already. Why are you so insensitive?” I thought that he should read my moods and my emotions. I expected him to sympathize when I got angry. Little by little I felt he became a stranger to me. What I did not understand at the time were the feelings of my husband. I didn’t realize that he was hurt, too. He doubted my love for him. We were in this situation for a long time. In 2013, my husband applied for work abroad. Before he could leave the Philippines, he had to stay in Manila for several months. He left me with our two kids in my hometown in Roxas City. I really missed him when he was away. I wanted him to call me often, but instead, he only called me once or twice a day. He only talked for short periods of time and I got angry and cried;
I was really vocal at times. I told him, “I am a woman. Even before I express my thoughts, you should know them already. Why are you so insensitive?”
Continued on next page.
9
MAKE A DIFFERENCE
Continued from previous page
I would text him and tell him how I felt unloved and neglected. Of course he would explain his side, and say I was wrong. Finally, he expressed his feelings to me on the phone. He said; “I don’t know you anymore! I think I am doing my best to please you, but it’s hard to make you understand. You always see mistakes in me. This is me. Why do you expect me to be someone else? I really appreciate you for being a good mom to our two kids, but as a wife to me, I find it hard to understand you. Don’t you know you are destroying me? I don’t know myself anymore. You are not the same person I used to know. You expect too much from me. Please stop comparing me to other men. I am different!” I awakened to the fact that I had been comparing him to other men, and overlooking how unique he was. I pointed out all his faults without considering his struggles. I remember saying things like, “That husband is good. He fetches his wife on time.” Or, “That man is good, he allows his wife to take the lead in the family.” At other times, I would murmur, “That wife is so lucky, her husband adores her so much.” Then I concluded that maybe my husband didn’t love me because he was not like those men. In times of struggle in marriage, it is always a big help to remember the promise we made in front of the altar on our wedding day; that we will love each other no matter what. I may not be able to recall those promises word for word, but the truth remains that we determined to hold on to each other forever, knowing that God is our witness in the journey we decided to take. 10
Pride is always present when a couple quarrels. It’s hard to admit you are wrong. However, God changed my heart. Every time I felt like giving-up, I reminded myself, “Hey! What about the promise you made to this man and to your God? Did you not promise God to love this man, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?” I realized that I had to accept my husband for the man he is. I told myself to look at him through the eyes of Jesus. I admitted I have lots of imperfections, which he has never pointed out to me. I also recalled the friendship that we had, how close we had been even before we became lovers, how I chose him because of his simplicity and genuineness. I remembered his loyalty and truthfulness and his dedication as the head of the family. I remembered his reverence for God. I counted his good qualities and realized how blessed I was for having him as my husband. That moment of realization led me to a decision; I would do my part as the wife God called me to be: I decided to always pray for my husband; I decided to think first before I spoke; I decided to be more considerate of him. I decided this, because in the end, I know he loves me and I love him. In return, my husband became expressive, and malambing to me. Now, we can converse about anything under the sun, and we end up laughing together about funny things. Marriage is team-work involving three persons: my husband, our God and me. Prayer, Bible-reading, fellowship with other believers, regular conversation, and
MOMS MAGAZINE
Theresa with her family.
open communication are essential to a husband and wife relationship. Today, we still have little arguments, but we see changes in each other. We patch up things easily. Settling arguments really matters because it shows your partner you are willing to adjust for the good of both of you. Our kids say they are happy and proud that we are their parents. At night after prayer time, we have giggling time with the kids. Their papa tells jokes and they tease each other. I massage them until they fall asleep. Always before they fall asleep one of them says, “Mama, I’m happy today. I love you and Papa.” In many ways, they express gratefulness for the family we have and it makes me thank God. This is, I think, the best consolation of having a life partner who fears God: We may not be the ideal man or woman, but we see each other as the perfect partner that God provided for each of
us. Every morning it is exciting to face the man I know will not turn his back on me. He is the man who hugs and kisses me and expresses appreciation for what I am doing and my importance to our family. Every time I face trouble, like health problems or work-related problems, he is always there to listen to me. There are times that I make mistakes in my finances and he always lets me feel he understands, but he never omits giving good advice and he never plays the “blame-game.” He taught me to refrain from blaming people when problems come, but to learn from the problems, and look for a solution. It is more than a year since I have had sleepless nights because of arguments or hatred. My husband recently joked, “Ang tagal ko nang di ka naririnig magdrama a.” Our married life was almost ruined, but God redeemed it.
11
WISE CHOICES
Women’s Health: What Tests to Take
by Dr. Lorna Carmela A. Protasio M.D.
M
edical screening tests are a great way to stay on top of your health. Think of them as basic maintenance, just like checking the oil and tire pressure to keep your car gunning down the highway. Below is a list of the most important medical tests every woman should have and when to start them. 1. Cholesterol screening/lipid profile Cholesterol is a type of fatty protein in your blood that can build up in your arteries, so knowing how much cholesterol is present is a good predictor of your risk for heart disease. And, women need to pay close attention to cholesterol levels, because they tend to rise after menopause. When to start: Age 20 2. Diabetes screening To check your risk for diabetes, doctors check your tolerance for glucose absorption, which means how readily your body digests sugar. Many women get diabetes while pregnant, and it’s dangerous for both mother and baby. When to start: Get this test at the start of pregnancy, or at age 45 if you have no risk factors or symptoms. If you’re overweight, have high blood pressure, or have
12
other risk factors for diabetes, such as family history of the disease, it’s a good idea to get tested sooner. 3. Bone density test Osteoporosis happens when minerals such as calcium begin to leak from bones, thinning and weakening them. In women, this often happens as a result of low estrogen levels after menopause. When to start: At age 65, but if you’ve had a hysterectomy or have reached menopause and have risk factors for bone loss such as being thin or having a history of fractures, you should talk to your doctor about being screened now. 4. Colonoscopy or sigmoidoscopy Colorectal cancer, which is cancer of the lower part of the intestines, is curable in 90 percent of all cases -- as long as it’s caught early. Screening tests that look inside the colon, called colonoscopy and flexible sigmoidoscopy, are the secret to catching colorectal cancer early. When to start: Age 50 for those with no risk factors. However, if you have a close family member who’s had colon cancer before the age of 50, begin colonoscopy screening ten years younger than the age at which your family member
MOMS MAGAZINE
was diagnosed. If a family member was diagnosed at 45, for example, you should have your first screening at 35. 5. Fecal occult blood test (FOBT) This test checks for blood in the stool that’s not visible to the eye. This test is considered key to catching colon cancer early; currently more women than men are diagnosed with colon cancer that’s already at an advanced stage. An FOBT is used to check for intestinal conditions such as Crohn’s disease and ulcerative colitis. When to start: At age 50; your doctor may suggest it earlier if there’s cause for concern about intestinal conditions. 6. Eye exam and vision screening Whether you have problems seeing at a distance or close up, you need regular eye exams as you age to check the overall health of your eyes. A vision screening tests how well you can see; an eye exam checks for glaucoma, macular degeneration, retinopathy, and other eye diseases. Make sure you’re having both kinds of exams. When to start: Age 18 or when signs of eye problem is noticed. 7. Thyroid test The thyroid, a small gland in your neck, regulates your body’s metabolic rate. Women are at higher risk for most types of thyroid disease, probably because of hormonal factors. When to start: Age 35 8. Pelvic exam and pap smear Although many younger women are now being vaccinated against the HPV strain that causes cervical cancer, women
who were past the age of 26 when the vaccine was introduced still need to be alert for this deadly form of cancer. (Current vaccine recommendations are for girls and women ages 9 to 26.) Sadly, cervical cancer remains the second leading cause of death from cancer for women worldwide, and the familiar pap smear remains the preventive screening test of choice. When to start: At age 21 or within three years of becoming sexually active. 9. Physical breast exam Checking your breasts for lumps, thickening, skin changes, and nipple discharge is the best way to be vigilant about preventing breast cancer. You can do this exam at home in the shower once a month; it’s usually best to do them just after your period ends, when breasts aren’t as tender or sore. Women over age 18 should have a doctor perform a breast exam once a year; this is usually done along with the pelvic examination. When to start: Age 20 10. Mammogram Breast cancer is the most common type of cancer in women, and the mammogram remains the most basic tool used to screen for tumors, aside from physical examination of the breasts. When to start: Age 40; however, if your mother or sister was diagnosed with breast cancer, especially if she was younger than 40, experts recommend starting mammograms five to ten years earlier than the age at which your relative was diagnosed. 13
ANSWERS TO YOUR QUESTIONS
Just Asking with Peter Banzon
Q:
I had a bad relationship with my children. I always compared them to others and had appreciated their good deeds. So, our relationship has grown cold. This new year, I want to start restoring our relationship but I don’t know how and I feel it’s humiliating. What should I do?
H
aving bad relationships with your children did not happen overnight. Restoring relationships with your children will take time and will come at a cost. Asking for forgiveness by recognizing your shortcomings is the first step in this process. Your children, no matter how offended they are, will appreciate it. The Bible says, “Whoever covers over his sins does not prosper. Whoever confesses and abandons them receives compassion” (Proverbs 28:13).
A:
Set aside your pride and do the right thing. Tell them you are sorry for hurting them the way you did. Next, stop comparing them to other people and appreciate them for who they are. When you compare them to other people, you are telling them that they are not good enough, that someone else is better, and you would rather have another person as your child. God created them to be them, to be who they are. He also placed potential in them so they can be the kind of people He wants them to be. The Bible says in Psalm 139:1516, “You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.” So, celebrate their achievements, recognize their efforts, be there when they fail without condemning them. Be persistent. Be consistent. God helping you, good relationships will be restored.
14
15
Volume 14 / Issue 53 / 2017
17