Dunwoody Municipal Court offers summertime amnesty
DUNWOODY, Ga. — Dunwoody Municipal Court is holding an amnesty program to settle outstanding violations and reduce arrests.
The amnesty runs through June and July and targets individuals with pastdue traffic citations and/or active bench warrants for failing to appear in court.
Dunwoody Municipal Court Clerk Norlaundra Huntington said it’s an opportunity to get a fresh start and clear a case without the concern of being arrested
or paying additional late fees or court costs.
“This is not a trick,” Huntington said. “Our only goal is to encourage people to come back to court by easing their financial burden.”
People who want to take advantage of the program can walk into Municipal Court, located at 4800 Ashford Dunwoody Road, on Mondays, Tuesdays or Fridays between 8:30 a.m. and 4:30 p.m. only.
During that time, if individuals pay
their fines in full, the Municipal Court will forgive all contempt fees.
If the offense requires a mandatory court appearance, court staff will grant the individual a date to appear before a judge, with all warrants and fees forgiven.
Dunwoody Municipal Court accepts cash, money orders, cashier checks and only Visa and MasterCard credit cards but no personal checks.
For more information about the amnesty program, call 678-382-6973.
Dunwoody Public Works Construction Manager Todd Meadows lays out details of a contract with Georgia Power for path lighting along Vermack Road near Dunwoody High School at a May 13 City Council meeting. The council voted to approve a revised contract May 28.
Path lighting approved along Vermack Road
By HAYDEN SUMLIN hayden@appenmedia.comDUNWOODY, Ga. — The Dunwoody City Council approved a revised contract with Georgia Power May 28 for installation of post-mounted path lighting along Vermack Road.
Elected officials approved the contract with a 3-2 vote, setting up the installation of 18 or 19 pedestrian-lighting poles along Vermack Road from Womack Road to Vanderlyn Drive.
Last summer, contractors with Autaco constructed phase one of the Dunwoody High School path from the school’s exit driveway to Vanderlyn Drive..
The second phase, slated to be completed before the 2024-25 school year begins, involves the section of the path from Womack Road to the southern entrance to the school.
At the April 29 City Council meeting, elected officials approved two contracts for phase two, including just under $110,000 with a 10 percent contingency to Sol Construction for the path itself and just under $300,000 with a 20 percent contingency to Southern Premier Contractors for stormwater improvements associated with the project.
The path lighting element along
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Sandy Springs police find Dunwoody mail
DUNWOODY, Ga. — A Sandy Springs Police detective contacted Dunwoody Police May 22 about a shoplifting suspect arrested with possession of mail from Happy Hollow Road.
The detective said his department apprehended a 19-yearold Atlanta man who was described as a repeat shoplifting offender at the Dick’s Sporting Goods on Mount Vernon Highway in Sandy Springs.
A Dunwoody officer said Sandy Springs Police found multiple pieces of mail belonging to four residences on Happy Hollow Road, including the Christian Assembly Church.
The officer said he met with the residents at each of the homes but did not speak with a representative from the church.
Residents told the officer they had received mail back from Sandy Springs Police.
The officer said he counted 24 articles of returned mail, but there is no security footage of the theft from any of the residences.
Because Sandy Springs Police provided the Dunwoody officer with the suspect’s license plate, he was able to track the vehicle to the Happy Hollow Road area around 4:30 a.m. May 21.
A DeKalb County judge denied the warrant because Fulton County possessed the mail.
The officer said he notified the Sandy Springs detective that charges must be filed through Fulton County.
Officers secure warrant for suspect in cash theft
DUNWOODY, Ga. — Dunwoody Police secured warrants May 23 for a 43-year-old female resident suspected of robbery after a man reported she ran off with his cash.
The victim said he saw the woman standing in front of The Harley apartment complex while driving westbound on Perimeter Center North.
The victim, a 39-year-old Atlanta man, said he was intrigued and stopped to talk and get her phone number.
During the conversation, the woman asked if he had change for a $100 bill. When the victim pulled out $220 in cash, the woman grabbed it and ran into a building at the apartment complex.
The victim said he did not chase the suspect and decided to speak with a representative in the leasing office.
During his conversation at the leasing office, the victim said he texted the suspect who disconnected the number after he tried calling.
Officers later said the apartment complex did not have security cameras working at the time.
The leasing office employee told the victim she may know the identity of the woman who is a resident of the apartments. The leasing staff cited prior incidents of woman stealing packages, and they provided officers with her name and room number.
Officers said they did not contact anyone at the suspect’s apartment.
Because officers had the suspect’s name, they were able to show the victim an image of her through the National Crime Information Center.
Officers said the victim identified the suspect without hesitation.
After officers contacted the DeKalb County Magistrate Court, a judge issued a warrant for robbery by sudden snatching.
Resident reports theft of card from mailbox
ROSWELL, Ga. — Roswell Police responded to a report from a female resident May 22 about the theft of a replacement debit card from her mailbox.
The victim said her mailbox had been damaged May 16 and she notified the leasing office at her residence on Chattahoochee Circle.
When the victim tried using her debit card the next day, she could not complete a transaction.
Eventually, the victim said she was alerted that her account was locked. Because the victim attempted to use her card Friday evening, she had to wait until Monday to contact her credit union.
A Family Credit Union representative said the victim had been sent a replacement card because her old one expired.
The representative said someone activated her card and used it at several locations.
The total amount charged was just under $3,200.
The victim said she learned the mailboxes had been burglarized from the rear after speaking with the leasing office May 21.
Police said the victim needed to file a report to seek a refund for the card charges.
Correction
An article in the May 30 Crier incorrectly stated the 2023 bond referendum vote was 53-47 against. It was 57-43 against.
Readers can send correction notes or questions about coverage to newsroom@ appenmedia.com.
Ex-Dunwoody Police officer wins suit against supervisor
DUNWOODY, Ga. — A DeKalb County jury awarded former Dunwoody Police Officer Bryan Castellanos $180,000 May 29 in the civil case of former Dunwoody Police Lt. Fidel Espinoza.
Espinoza resigned from the Dunwoody Police Department amid a spring 2020 probe into allegations of sexual harassment and professional misconduct.
In February 2022, Castellanos and his wife, Leila, filed a personal injury lawsuit in DeKalb County State Court against Espinoza, the Dunwoody Police Department and its foundation, the city and the DeKalb County Board of Commissioners.
After defendants filed motions to dismiss, only Espinoza remained.
The complaint alleges that Espinoza began sending sexually explicit messages to Bryan Castellanos in 2017, and the messages were sent on “countless occasions.” It says Espinoza also took photos of Castellanos without his
consent and sent harassing messages to Castellanos’ wife.
The suit initially sought $500,000 in damages from the defendant.
Three former Dunwoody Police officers — Brian Bolden, Roger Halstead and Austin Handle — testified in Dekalb State Court on behalf of the plaintiffs.
Former Police Chief Billy Grogan and Espinoza also testified.
Judge Ana Maria Martinez dropped charges alleging intentional emotional distress and conduct unbecoming of an officer. The judge also eliminated claims from Leila Castellanos.
The jury in the civil case awarded the plaintiffs $60,000 in compensatory damages and $120,000 in punitive damages.
Meanwhile, the Georgia Peace Officer Standards & Training Council opened an investigation April 29 into Espinoza, looking into allegations of sexual harassment and conduct unbecoming of an officer.
Sandy Springs City Council approves contract for PATH400 construction
By HAYDEN SUMLIN hayden@appenmedia.comSANDY SPRINGS, Ga. — Sandy Springs City Councilman Andy Bauman described awarding a construction contract for the PATH400 Trail Extension May 21 as a transformative project for the city.
The $20.1 million contract with F.S. Scarborough to construct two segments of PATH 400 within the city is the latest in a regional effort to change Metro Atlanta’s car-centric infrastructure.
The Atlanta Regional Commission identifies PATH400 as a regionally significant trail.
PATH400, a 12-foot-wide trail for biking and walking, is being constructed on public land next to Ga. 400 from the northern tip of the Morningside neighborhood in Midtown Atlanta to the southern part of Sandy Springs at Ga. 400 and I-285.
While PATH 400 stretches 5.2 miles, the trail extension project runs 2.3 miles from Loridans Drive within the City of Atlanta to just south of Johnson Ferry Road.
When the Sandy Springs City Council awarded contracts for construction of the trail extension, a financing shortfall forced the city to divide its portion of PATH400 into three sections.
Staff said segment two, or the middle portion from Windsor Parkway to north of Ridgeview Park, can be constructed when funds become available.
Interim Communications Director Dan Coffer said the estimated funding gap for the half-mile middle segment is around $15 million.
Earlier this year, the city applied through the ARC and U.S. DOT for the remaining funds.
Coffer said the city expects to hear back on its applications sometime this fall when construction of segments one and three are tentatively scheduled to begin.
The Georgia Department of Transportation, which owns the right-ofway along Ga. 400, is funding 80 percent of the project’s costs.
The project is funded through a combination of local and federal funds, with the other 20 percent coming from Sandy Springs’ portion of 2021 TSPLOST funds.
Sandy Springs staff designed the entire extension project in partnership with the City of Atlanta, from Loridans Drive to the multi-use trail constructed for the GDOT’s Transform 285/400 project.
In January, the Sandy Springs City
See PATH, Page 6
The Sexton family of Chamblee operated area grocery stores
James Tolbert Sexton (1864-1941) was born in Gwinnett County. He married Nancy Myria Robinson (1864-1954) of Chamblee in 1888. The couple lived and farmed in Chamblee. They had three children, Florence, Grover T. and William Robert Sexton, Sr.
The Sexton family were members of the Chamblee Baptist Church, first known as Corinth Baptist. Most of the family is buried at the old church cemetery at the corner of New Peachtree Road and Hood Avenue.
Grover Tolbert Sexton (1891-1951), sometimes listed in military records as T. Grove or Tolie Grove Sexton, reported to Camp Gordon, Chamblee, in July of 1918. Sexton began his service in the 157th Depot Brigade, later becoming part of the Replacement Draft in Company D of the 11th Infantry.
On July 21, 1918, he left the U.S. aboard the ship Plattsburg. The Army Transport Service list of passengers indicates his hometown of Chamblee and his nearest relative as his mother, Nancy Sexton. T. Grove Sexton remained overseas until July 11, 1919, when he left France, once again aboard the Plattsburg, headed for Hoboken, New Jersey.
After he returned to Chamblee, he married Maggie Caldwell, and they ran a grocery store. They lived on Elliot Street in the 1930s and on Peachtree Dunwoody Road in 1950, according to the U.S. Census. After T. Grove died in 1951, Maggie lived at 3471 Chamblee Dunwoody Way until her death in 1980. (City/suburban directories, DeKalb History Center archives; Atlanta Constitution obituary)
William Sexton, Sr. (1893-1971) and
Jessie Ethel Sexton (1891-1956) had two sons and three daughters, including William Robert Jr., Eugene Grover, Earlene S., Elizabeth, and Dorothy.
William Robert Sexton Jr. (1916-2000) went by the name Robert. His first job was working at his Aunt Maggie and Uncle T. Grove’s grocery store in Chamblee.
According to the 1940 census records, Robert lived with his grandparents on Sexton Road and was driving a truck for a dairy. The dairy was likely Irvindale Dairies, because Sexton worked there for 30 years, beginning at age 19.
After working at Irvindale and advancing through the company, he helped reform the seven-day work schedule of employees. This led to fewer employees quitting.
Sexton used his grocery store knowledge and opened several grocery stores in Loganville and Acworth following his retirement from Irvindale. He and wife Doris Brown Sexton had five children. (Atlanta Journal obituary, September 9, 2000)
Clint Daniel grew up in Chamblee and recalls that his dad went to Chamblee High School with Robert Sexton. He remembers their house was on what is now Harts Mill Road close to Ashford Dunwoody Road.
Robert’s brother, Eugene Grover Sexton (1919-1948) served in the U.S. Navy during World War II, from 1944 through 1946. Sexton sadly died two years after his military service ended. He was operating a farm in the Pine Mountain Valley community of Georgia.
Florence Sexton, the daughter of James and Nancy Sexton, continued to live with them and worked as a seamstress.
Award-winning author Valerie Biggerstaff is a longtime columnist for Appen Media and the Dunwoody Crier. She lives in Atlanta. You can email Valerie at pasttensega@gmail.com or visit her website at pasttensega.com.
Lighting:
Continued from Page 1
Vermack Road led to a debate among councilmembers.
Public Works Director Michael Smith said there are currently some widely spaced streetlights on Vermack Road, but there is little light on the multi-use path in front of Dunwoody High School.
When students are getting to school during the winter months or leaving campus after extracurriculars, it’s dark outside and dangerous for pedestrians.
Smith said the city’s standard maximum spacing is 60 feet, but staff recommends revising the distance for this project to around 70 feet.
“That would cut two to three lights, we don’t have exact numbers because we weren’t able to get a new design and a new agreement from Georgia Power in between meetings,” Smith said. “We think it would cut two to three lights, cut costs between 10 and 15 percent and still provide the light level we think is appropriate.”
During an April 29 discussion of the contract, councilmembers voted unanimously to postpone approval of a lighting services agreement after some expressed concerns about cost and light levels.
The original contract called for
21 pedestrian-lighting poles with an installation cost of just under $195,000 and an ongoing monthly fee of around $600 for maintenance and power.
While the 12-foot multi-use path runs in front of a high school with significant foot traffic, single-family residential homes sit on the opposite side of the street.
Councilmembers indicated they wanted to explore their options with the Georgia Power contract to potentially reduce the number of light poles, which would lower costs and reduce concerns about light pollution.
“We talked to Georgia Power, and these will have a dimmable feature,” Smith said. “I would suggest cutting them in half after 11 p.m,. and then they can go back up at 6 a.m. or something like that.”
While Smith’s adjustment to the Georgia Power contract reduces the cost and addresses light pollution, not all councilmembers were sold on a path forward.
Councilman John Heneghan said he was concerned about the cost of the lighting agreement with Georgia Power, with the 10-15 percent reduction.
Heneghan said he wanted to be sure who is responsible for the monthly cost of around $600.
“Right now, on Vermack, I can tell you that the residents don’t pay a streetlight fee,” he said. “I want to make
sure that if we are putting these lights up for pedestrian purposes mainly, that we are not increasing the fees on those not already paying.”
Because the path adjoins Dunwoody High School property and not the singlefamily residences on Vermack Road, staff said the school district will pay the monthly fees.
Heneghan said he wants to ensure parties are aware if they are responsible for fees.
“I’m not against increased safety, but when it comes to the cost, I’m not sure where that money is coming from or how it’s being funded,” Heneghan said.
Mayor Lynn Deutsch and Councilman Joe Seconder were absent from the meeting.
Councilman Rob Price, who voted against the contract with Heneghan, said he wanted all councilmembers present before a decision is made.
After staff said they are not certain the pedestrian lighting will be ready for the start of the 2024-25 school year, Price said it may be worth waiting to decide on the contract approval.
Councilwomen Stacey Harris and Catherine Lautenbacher voted with Councilman Tom Lambert to approve the contract.
“In my mind, we have to put lights on the sidewalk,” Harris said. “So, whether we do it now or wait two weeks, we have to put lights on the sidewalk.”
CITY OF DUNWOODY/PROVIDED
A recent look at phase one of the Vermack Road path in front of Dunwoody High School shows the current lighting on the street and multi-use path at nighttime. City staff said most of the light in the image is from camera flash.
PATH:
Continued from Page 3
Council approved new agreements with Atlanta for preliminary engineering and cost-sharing for construction of the PATH400 extension.
Atlanta will construct and provide the local match for the portion of the trail extension within its city limits.
While each city is building its own portion of the path, the city limits for each city meet at Nancy Creek underneath Ga. 400.
Atlanta has agreed to provide the local match required for the PATH400 Nancy Creek bridge at its border, Sandy Springs contractors with F.S. Scarbrough will construct it.
During discussions at Sandy Springs meetings in January, staff members discussed the rising cost of the bridge, which represents the most expensive aspect of the trail extension project.
TSPLOST Program Manager Allen Johnson told the Sandy Springs City Council May 21 he estimates segments one and three will take about three years for construction. Johnson said the start of construction depends on authorization from the GDOT.
“There are many walls and bridges, and that was the engineer’s estimate of how long it will take,” Johnson said.
“We’ve got a bridge over Nancy Creek and … the Glenridge Connector ramps.”
Councilmembers also question the bids received for the PATH400 Trail Extension. Because the lowest bidder, F.S. Scarbrough, submitted an offer $4 million less than the secondlowest contractor, Vertical Earth, councilmembers wanted an explanation.
Johnson said F.S. Scarbrough has experience with site work related to multiuse paths, but the bid came in lower most likely because the contractors are just entering the market for trail construction.
“We’ve checked their references, and they’re also GDOT pre-qualified,”
Johnson said.
SO YOU THINK YOU WANT TO
After increased costs and delays with the 2A Trail over Orkin Lake near Morgan Falls Overlook Park, councilmembers looked for assurances with a larger project on the horizon.
Johnson said city staff, and possibly construction engineering and inspection technicians with the GDOT, will be onsite continuously.
Councilman Bauman said the yearslong effort to reach the point of awarding a construction contract for PATH400 in Sandy Springs is a big deal.
“It’s the kind of transformative project that we should all be very proud of,” Bauman said. “I do hope we can put some rendering, signage or branding, given it will be three years, that notifies people.”
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A map shows the plans for the PATH400 Trail Extension project, which runs from Loridans Drive within the City of Atlanta to multi-use paths constructed during improvements at I-285 and Ga. 400 within the City of Sandy Springs. Staff said May 21 that construction on segment one and three is anticipated to take around three years, with a $15 million funding gap for segment two.
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June book events focus on children, nature, true crime
By KATHY DES JARDINS CIOFFI newsroom@appenmedia.comThere’s no better way to slide into summer than with a stack of books. For help filling bookbags bound for beaches or the closest comfy chair, check out this list of June author events across North Fulton and Forsyth counties.
Saturday, June 8, celebrating children’s authors with three authors per hour sharing their stories. 11 a.m. Free. Poe & Company Bookstore, 1890 Heritage Walk, Suite P101, Milton. 770-797-5566. Poeandcompanybookstore.com
Sunday, June 9, Omar Tyree. The New York Times bestselling author will chat about his newest book, “Control.” 1 p.m. Free. Read It Again Bookstore, 3630 Peachtree Parkway, Suite 314, Suwanee. 770-232-9331. read-itagain.com
Saturday, June 15, J.D. Cervantes signing his novel, “Fran and Her Friend Death.” 11 a.m. Free. Johns Creek Books, 6000 Medlock Bridge Road. 770-696-9999. johnscreekbooks.com
Sunday, June 16, Keeping the Chattahoochee: An author talk with Sally Sierer Bethea. 2 p.m. Free. Sharon Forks Library, 2820 Old Atlanta Road, Cumming. forsythpl.org/ event/10167432
Tuesday, June 18, Suzi EhteshamZadeh, Parul Kapur, Mike Coleman. A Novel Idea and Bookmiser present the trio of authors and their “Journeys of Freedom and Acceptance.” 7 p.m. Free. Brimstone Restaurant & Tavern, 10595 Old Alabama Road Connector, Alpharetta. 770-509-5611. bookmiser. net/book-events.html
Saturday, June 19, Licia Chenoweth, promoting her latest middle-grade book, “Finding Lila.” Noon. Free. Read It Again Bookstore, 3630 Peachtree Parkway, Suite 314, Suwanee. 770232-9331. read-it-again.com
Friday, June 21, Mazey Eddings. The neurodiverse author and dentist will examine her popular romances that focus on mental health. 6 p.m. Purchase of $18 “Late Bloomer” required. Read It Again Bookstore, 3630 Peachtree Parkway, Suite 314, Suwanee. 770-232-9331. read-it-again.com
Saturday, June 22, Judy Highum, reading from her children’s book, “Parker P. Possum – A Lesson in Gratefulness.” 11 a.m. Free. Johns Creek Books, 6000 Medlock Bridge Road. 770-696-9999. johnscreekbooks.com
PROVIDED
Lynn Cullen will discuss her novel, “Mrs. Poe,” in Milton June 24.
Saturday, June 22, Brynn Barineau, with her debut novel, “Jaguars and Other Game.” Noon. Free. Read It Again Bookstore, 3630 Peachtree Parkway, Suite 314, Suwanee. 770232-9331. read-it-again.com
Saturday, June 22, McCracken Poston Jr. Atlanta Authors presents Poston detailing “Zenith Man,” a true crime thriller. Bookmiser will have copies available to purchase. 2 p.m. Free. In person and online. Roswell Cultural Arts Center, 950 Forrest St., 770-5095611. bookmiser.net
Monday, June 24, Lynn Cullen, discussing “Mrs. Poe,” inspired by literature’s most haunting love triangle. 7 p.m. Free. Poe & Company Bookstore, 1890 Heritage Walk, Suite P101, Milton. 770-797-5566. Poeandcompanybookstore.com
Tuesday, June 25, Survival skills with author Mark Warren. 6:30 p.m. Free. Hampton Park Library, 5345 Settingdown Road, Cumming. forsythpl.org/ event/10336655
Thursday, June 27, Crabapple Summer Stroll, supporting local independently owned stores. 5 p.m. Free. Poe & Company Bookstore, 1890 Heritage Walk, Suite P101, Milton. 770-7975566. Poeandcompanybookstore.com
Saturday, June 27, Bookfair for Grownups. Read It Again Bookstore will partner with Gate City Brewing for a boozy book fair. 6 p.m. Free. Gate City Brewing, 43 Magnolia St., Roswell. 678-404-0961 https:// www.gatecitybrewingcompany.com/
Saturday, June 29, Clint Smith, signing “The Georgia Air National Guard.” Noon. Free. Read It Again Bookstore, 3630 Peachtree Parkway, Suite 314, Suwanee. 770-232-9331. read-it-again.com
Sunday, June 30, Cherry Mo. The children’s author will read her book, “Home in a Lunchbox.” 10 a.m. Free. Johns Creek Books, 6000 Medlock Bridge Road. 770-696-9999. johnscreekbooks.com
To submit an author event for the upcoming month, email Kathy Des Jardins Cioffi at kathydesjardins3@gmail. com by the 15th.
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Appen Press Club presents Listening Tour 2024
Dean who closed law clinic steps down from UGA post
By CARL APPEN carl@appenmedia.comATHENS, Ga. — The University of Georgia School of Law’s First Amendment Clinic has stopped providing advocacy work for open meetings and open records, Appen Media reported May 15.
Now the school’s dean, Peter “Bo” Rutledge, has announced he will vacate the position and return to the faculty at the end of the year.
“The UGA School of Law is now on course to redefine what it means to be a great national public institution,” he said.
The university’s press release cited numerous accomplishments from Rutledge’s almost 10 years at the helm. One of them was the expansion of the law school’s outreach programs, including the First Amendment Clinic.
The agency opened its doors in August 2020 to “defend and advance the rights of free speech, press, assembly, and petition via regional litigation and advocacy” and to provide law students with real-world experience on First Amendment issues, according to a UGA news release at the time.
Journalists and citizens across the state looked to the clinic for free legal help gaining access to public materials. Appen Media’s May 15 story included interviews with news outlets Decaturish, Atlanta Community Press Collective (ACPC) and The Current GA. All three shared how the agency’s assistance had strengthened their reporting of government accountability and financial transparency.
The clinic’s change in policy takes that help off the table moving forward.
Remaining an educational resource, University Spokesperson Greg Trevor said the Clinic will now “refer open records/open meetings matters that need
direct advocacy and representation to qualified legal professionals or agencies.”
The timing of the shift coincides with UGA’s decision to transfer the lawsuit filed on behalf of the Atlanta Community Press Collective and Lucy Parsons Labs against the Atlanta Police Foundation.
The Foundation is a nonprofit that supports the Atlanta Police Department and works closely with the City of Atlanta. The organization is largely tied to the Atlanta Public Safety Training Center under construction on 85 acres of the South River region in DeKalb County.
The suit alleges the foundation failed to respond to open records requests related to the project, dubbed “Cop City” by its critics.
Georgia sunshine laws, “apply to any entity to which public functions have been transferred by an agency or which receives substantial funding or resources from an agency in performance of a task,” according to the state Attorney General.
The Press Collective and Lucy Parsons Lab filed the suit in January with attorneys on staff at UGA’s clinic. A few weeks later Rutledge, the law school’s dean, ordered the clinic to cease all work related to public records law, according to The Guardian.
The school told Appen Media the directive, “is part of ongoing efforts to align the First Amendment Clinic’s activities more closely with the institution’s educational mission.”
One of the lawyers representing the Police Foundation is Harold Melton, a former chief justice of the state Supreme Court who graduated from UGA Law and now teaches at the school. Melton also served as executive counsel to former Gov. Sonny Perdue, who today is chancellor of the University System of Georgia.
Staff Reporter Amber Perry contributed to this story.
OPINION
International birthday parties and valuable life lessons
Recently, my daughter celebrated her birthday at the beach with five of her closest friends, while I stayed at her place in Ellijay, babysitting her husky. Although I don’t mind housesitting, taking care of that husky was another story. I was struck by the diversity among my daughter’s friends – their eclectic nature —so unlike the typical groups from my generation. These friends are difficult to categorize or stereotype, and their varied backgrounds made me wonder just how typical they are of their generation, many of whom are now in their mid to late 30s.
All except one friend met my daughter while she lived in California in a big house over a decade ago on the corner of Haight and Ashbury. The outlier is a friend she met in Berlin. Despite geographical distances and time, these friendships have remained strong and vital.
The friend from NYC, a computer programmer from India who grew up in Dubai, recently quit her job in the Bay Area to move to and experience New York City – by herself. When I asked her how the birthday party was at the beach, she replied that it was like a “five-day slumber party,” which brought a smile to my face and made my heart flutter.
The friend from upstate New York is originally from a small village in Bangladesh. He moved to the United States at 5 and became a successful computer programmer. While living at the house on Haight, he began developing Crowdcast, a website for video conferencing, just before COVID-19, which eventually became a popular app and platform used worldwide. Talk about timing.
Two of my daughter’s friends still live in the Bay Area. One is an architect. I would call her an “art connoisseur/ entrepreneur.” When I first met her, she was running a converted warehouse in Oakland that she had converted into
a live/work art collective to address affordable housing and work space for Bay Area artists. Think consignment store, except instead of booths for stuff to sell, there were spaces for artists to create their work. Wandering through the warehouse was mystical, almost like exploring some far-away land. You never knew what you would run into around any corner you turned.
The other friend still living in the Bay Area is much of the time, literally living “in the bay.” His story is remarkable. He is from the Midwest and dropped out of college and that traditional career track thing, and moved to California where he started working as a computer coder – selftaught. He found his place in one or several of the Silicon Valley tech
companies and lives with his long-time partner who was one of the first, say 20, employees of one of the huge tech companies – think like a Google or similar. Most of his time today is split between his new job at yet another tech company and working on the large sailboat he bought and learned to sail in San Francisco Bay – hence “living literally in the Bay.”
The odd-man-out, the one she did not meet in California, is probably the most interesting of them all. Think a modern-day Indiana Jones or similar. Whether it was hiking across much of eastern Europe and the Middle East, to moving to Israel to learn Hebrew (just because), to moving to Indonesia to live in a orangutang-rescue preserve camp for six months to who knows how many
other adventures, he is the poster-child Peter-Pan. He is German and, like the others, a coder/tech guy. Think crazy smart, tech guy. His last “formal” job was rewriting the code for the French unemployment system – seriously. My daughter met him a week or two after she had moved herself to Germany to audition for ballet companies in Europe. She needed a place to live, and through a distant Appen cousin, connected with Stef who held the lease on a large multi-bedroom apartment on the fourth floor above the German headquarters of the Hells Angels in Berlin. Amelia lived there for the better part of two years.
Stephen flew in from Berlin for my daughter’s birthday. That alone touches me deeply, that my kid would have a friend who cared enough to do that. But on top of that, he recently raised money to buy an aging, rundown German resort “in the country” – think like a small Grove Park Inn – so he took the time out from his start-up hotel and resort business to spend time with my daughter and celebrate her birthday. And note to self, he had zero experience in running a business, or managing lots of people, or operating something, like a resort, that had to make a profit yet wrote a business plan that impressed a German bank and a few other investors enough to lend him the money (millions of euros). Who would-a thought!
Take-aways
Anyway, my daughters’ friends teach me lots of worthy life lessons by example. They do not bind themselves to accepted norms and expectations. They live lives that are driven to a significant degree by curiosity, by a desire to experience and explore. They embrace the unknown which I am sure produces just as much anxiety for them as it does for you and me, but they seem to thrive on it instead of fearing it. They don’t let “you can’t do this or that” stop them from trying. They are loyal friends, the kind you can count on. They are the kind of companions you strive for. Those kinds of friends are priceless.
And the last lesson? Well, it might be to “never own a husky,” but don’t get me started on that one.