Healthy transitions: The first steps

to you by – Michelle Wilson, Wilson Legal, PC

This month I talked to a client, (we’ll call her Alice) whose husband, (we’ll call him Mike), has a form of dementia. Hank needs more of his wife’s help every day. She does his medicines for him, tells him where to go in the car, and stops him from showering a second time before bed because he forgot that he already showered. She’s afraid to leave her husband for a 2-week vacation because his son and daughter-in-law only help begrudgingly. She feels indispensable and she hasn’t seen her family in 2 years. In situations like this, it’s important to understand how much care is needed and to take care of yourself before exhausting yourself caring for another. After a recent surgery, Alice was dependent on friends to bring her meals, wash her hair and change her bandages.

I asked her to track the time she spends caregiving for Hank. When someone has dementia, transition can be really hard. If you hire a caregiver early, then you have time to interview and find someone you and your spouse really like. If you wait until you have an emergency, you’re looking for anyone who’s available and that person is then suddenly in your space. I showed her the care.com website and gave her a care log page to use to track her caregiving time. Relieved, Alice committed to tracking her caregiving time and looking at the website.

Eldercare attorneys help families to transition with dignity. If you know of someone who is having trouble letting go of how life used to work for them, send them to Wilson Legal for help with their new beginning.