WEEKENDS

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Time for musing, boozing or simply snoozing

ey, how was your weekend?" It's the standard Monday greeting, bounced off friends and strangers to ease the pain of starting another work week. The reply, of course, must reflect some measure of excitement — even if Saturday and Sunday were spent studying, who would ever admit to being that boring?

So the response becomes "Great! Went to a couple of parties...you know." But when was the last time anyone really thought about last weekend before giving that answer? After all, the Weekend is part and parcel of the IU mystique — Indiana's the "Party School," right?

But let's take a look at the weekend phenomenon.

When you arrived as a freshman in August, you weren't sure what to expect of IU weekends, except that you thought the time will be fun-filled and better than a weekend at home could ever be.

Now, whether you're a sophomore or a senior, think back to before you even experienced an IU weekend. Think about what they do on a typical weekend. Are the two thoughts the same?

Many students spend their weekends staying in and playing cards, watching television, studying, sleeping, going to movies, and simply being with friends. And this is Party Heaven?

As if to save IU's reputation, some said they go to parties on the weekend, but these remarks came mostly from freshmen and sophomores. Upperclassmen said they party too but don't feel "compelled" to do so to feel that their valuable weekend time was well spent.

Interestingly enough, students of all class standings said they return to spend weekends at the spot they had always found so boring: home. And many said they like being at home well enough to arrange their schedules to leave on Thursday evenings and return on Monday mornings.

Students whose homes are too far away from campus for weekend visits said they make the best of their time by buying tickets for Auditorium shows and athletic events, becoming involved with campus activities, and just taking it easy. "I like IU weekends because it allows me time to do things that I don't have time for during the week," junior Lisa Kraut said. She said she likes to sleep in late, exercise and catch up on school work.

Some students tire of the campus social scene and take on weekend jobs for extra cash and different scenery. But sometimes, not IU, home or work satisfies the weekend urge for diversions, and a "road trip" seems to be the only answer. "I like going on road trips for something different to do," said senior Sherry Gray. "You get to go to different campuses, and every campus has its own flavor and personality. It really makes you appreciate IU more."

The moral of this story is "You have to make your own fun — wherever you are." The next time you answer "How was your weekend?," remember that whether you went home, worked, relaxed, or partied, you can consider yourself a typical IU student.

Not every weekend at IU is "The World's Greatest College Weekend," below, with its parties, activities and Little 500 excitement. But many students use their weekends to take care of the necessary tasks that elude them during the week — whether it's household chores, well-deserved naps or, left, times of catching up in coursework.

Angie Gottschalk

ob Gross

Jim Greenwood I

t may seem easy to guess what English professors do with their weekends and spare time.

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Angie Gottschalk

Chance to brick away

Eric Marshall

T

hree thousand people can now be immortalized in the sidewalk outside Nick's English Hut.

A $50 donation to the IU Foundation ensures the donor that a brick with his or her name on it, hand cast by IU fine arts students, will be placed in the sidewalk in front of Nick's. For an additional $25, the contributor may purchase a duplicate brick he can keep. The proceeds will go to the School of Fine Arts scholarship fund.

Last year Dick Barnes, owner of the bar, discussed the possibility of repaving Nick's sidewalk with Tom Coleman, professor of fine arts. According to Linda Kirk, director of development for the College of Arts and Sciences, Barnes's daughter Kathy suggested names could be carved in bricks that would then be used to repave the bar's sidewalk. Coleman's graphics students designed the bricks, promotional brochures and posters, while the ceramics classes cast them.

Kirk said the Nick's Bricks project should be more successful as a fund-raiser for the School of Fine Arts than other projects have been. She said she thinks there is a special appeal to being cast in a brick forever. She added that most of the contributions to date have been from alumni.

Author says IU typifies the generic

G eneric? IU's generic? That's what

Lisa Birnbach says in her latest literary adventure, the College Book.

Birnbach, a 27-year-old New York City native, is probably best known for her first book, the Official Preppy Handbook, which capitalized on the nation's resurgent interest in madras plaid and penny loafers.

In 1983, Birnbach began touring the country to collect information for her new book by visiting 186 colleges and universities. Birnbach said that within the book's 515 pages are all the great secrets — what you really want to know "about religion, sex, politics, and drugs in the universities....the inside scoop, the juicy stuff you can only learn by visiting the campuses, by going to school there."

Birnbach said she visited each campus, conducting student interviews and distributing about 5,000 questionnaires asking everything from favorite drink to favorite drug — beer and marijuana won at IU. She said the best things about IU are the campus, social life, and course variety. The worst features are its size and tensions between greeks and independents.

Birnbach said she found out other "juicy facts" about IU. For instance, she said, the No. 1 priority of the health center is birth control. But Michael Aronoff, director of medical services for the center, said this isn't so. "Maintenance of health is a priority for us," he said. "But birth control is not our number one priority."

The book gives other "inside information" that some might call misinformation, such as incorrect names and positions of several faculty members.

But the best "secret" the book discloses belongs not to IU but to the University of Notre Dame. How many people would have guessed Notre Dame is actually in Fort Wayne? Birnbach's book said it is.

And what about our friendly rivals to the north? Birnbach manages to poke fun at them, too. According to the College Book, if you see West Lafayette on a rainy day, you're liable never to return; "Without Purdue, Lafayette is kaka." She continues to say that the academic pressure at the university manifests itself in eating disorders. Anorexia and bulimia have reached "epidemic proportions," she said.

Birnbach manages to jab most major universities in her final chapter, "Lists of Lists." Featured are categories such as "Easiest Academically" (Slippery Rock University and University of Southern California, Santa Barbara); "Hardest Academically" (MIT); "Ugliest Student Body, Males" (Indiana University of Pennsylvania); "Ugliest Females" (University of Alaska); "Most Promiscuous" (Boston University). In case you were wondering, the fanciest cars are at Southern Methodist University, most answering machines in student rooms at Tulane University, and the most swimming pools in backyards of fraternities at the University of Texas.

IU won in two categories, Biggest Student Union and Largest Classroom Building (Ballantine Hall).

NBC's "Today Show" invited Birnbach to film a three-day segment about the College Book. She was allowed to return to three college campuses to shoot the show; Indiana, Jane Pauley's alma mater, was one of the chosen. In early September, Birnbach showed up on campus with the film crew in tow and spent several days talking to students and campus leaders. On

Lisa Birnbach

Sept. 18 the segment was broadcast, featuring the Singing Hoosiers, the Union, a candlelight ceremony at the Tri-Delt house and assorted clips of the campus. "Everyone wants to be Jane Pauley," Birnbach concluded and confided to the "Today Show" anchorwoman. However, one IU journalism professor took a survey of his class and found his students didn't want to be just another Pauley. "But they'd sure like to make her salary," he said.

The College Book describes IU as the "epitome of all-America." "Indeed," said Birnbach, "it's so much like 'college' as depicted in movies of the '40s and '50s that Indiana could be called Generic College, if only there were black stripes forming a universal price code at its entrance."

Generic? Maybe it's just another "juicy secret" IU students have yet to discover. After all, what "generic" colleges can brag about their firsts, their largests, and their World's Greatest College Weekend?

Lynne Randazzo

Just for kicks

U

p ... down ... left ... right ... over ... under, this way and that. What is being kicked all around? A Hacky Sack. It's a new fad — instead of playing frisbee, many people "hack."

Hacking refers to a group of people kicking a small, pellet-filled leather bag called a Hacky Sack as they stand in a tight circle. The objective is to keep the bag off the ground using your legs and feet only.

Hacky Sack is the logical successor to previous fads. It has elements needed for a mass-participation sport — no additional moving parts, physical activity, group cooperation — and now even has its own "professional" organization — the World Footbag Association. WFA recently was established in California to standardize rules of play, develop a scoring system and decide on names of particular kicks. For instance, it is not ordinarily permissible to use your hands to keep the Hacky Sack in play. Such a move is called a "flail." It is also unacceptable to apologize for missing a kick.

Jimmy Caveney is the holder of the WFA's two-man-team, consecutive-kick record, set last year in Portland, Oregon, with 20,921 kicks. He performs kicks with the inside or outside of the foot, and with the toe. There are also freestyle moves such as the spin, where one turns around once between kicks.

Since Hacky Sack's invention three years ago, it has become popular around the world, spreading from the state of Washington, to Canada and England, from France to Denmark, and even to People's Park and Dunn Meadow in Bloomington.

Jennie Shore

Comics show improvisation is a bunch of wit

I

mprovising, getting absurd, and being imaginative produce my best shows," Robert Klein said before his Feb. 18 performance at the IU Auditorium. "I need a sharp audience to play up to; I want a smart audience, and I got it."

The comedian said he prefers the enthusiasm at colleges, and he rewarded the 800 who attended his show with an hour and 40 minutes of high-energy comedy.

As he acknowledged his surroundings, the comments began to fly. First, the microphone was too low, so Klein bent over it. Then the cord was in the way so it was tossed to and fro. Crossing the stage again and again with his "stream-ofconsciousness" brand of humor flowing, Klein noticed the orchestra pit — a 30 foot drop. He said dental records would be the only way to identify the remains should he fall, asking at the same time if there were a lawyer in the house.

Klein poked fun at Oral Roberts University. The school would need to advertise, he began. "However, if your name is Oral, you are skating on thin ice to begin with," he said. From there, he went on and on, later admitting to having started six different subjects at once -- yet he came back to, and got a laugh from, each one.

For instance, the crowd loved his line on underpants. "Having bad pains lately? If you buy size 32 briefs and put them onto a size 36 waist, your testicles go through your eyeballs. This is ridiculous," he said.

Students identified with his comments on test material: True/false tests are a "fools paradise," but produce permanent neck damage; multiple choice exams should be more "obvious" — he hates those shades-of-meaning ones; and the essay exams need "latitude, so you can bullshit your way through them."

Much of the material was tailored to a college audience. Klein's sharp wit combined with a precise memory for the most subtle details about people and situations, allowed him to touch on a variety of topics.

Music also was an integral part of Klein's routine. He picked on the "handy opening songs" at the beginning of television

Robert Klein

shows. Using a nasal voice, he imitated the theme songs of "Gilligan's Island" and the "Brady Bunch." Strutting left and right, he then voiced disdainful opinions on pop music, singing a line from the song "What's Love Got To Do With It?" by Tina Turner. He acted amazed when people began tapping to the beat.

The performance ended with Bob Stein accompanying Klein on the piano, as he sang, played the harmonica, and "tried" to get on the piano. He sang "I Want to Know"— the only four words of the entire song — and his trademark, "I Can't Stop My Leg." Klein concluded with a "personal favorite," "The Bronx Is Always Beautiful This Time of Year." And by the time it was over, he had finally climbed on top of the piano.

While Klein was a solo act, the finals of the Campus Comedy Competition were prior to his appearance. Bob and Tom, the off-color disc jockeys from WFBQ in Indianapolis, introduced the finalists: former IU student Steve Medley, junior Jeff Lyons, and Dubbletaque, a group of seven present and former IU students.

Medley said earlier in the week that whenever he sees something funny, his pen and paper come out. Later, he goes back over his writings and tries to pick material for routines. As one of the cartoonists for the Indiana Daily Student's "D.H. Daddy" strip, Medley said he receives no immediate comments on his work. Doing a routine in front of people provides him with what he calls "necessary feedback." He said it is scary at first on stage alone, but after the first laugh, he has all the "necessary feedback" to continue. "Growing Up in a Small Town" was the theme Medley used to begin his routine. "Moving to college was radical; it was like Disneyland," he said. Upon describing Bloomington's "urban" surroundings, he added, "Hey Mom, there's traffic here."

A phone booth skit followed in which Medley pretended to be several characters, showing his versatility with voices. He also suggested methods other than the norm for guys to follow for such holidays as Valentine's Day — just break up the day before, then make up after Valentine's Day when the candy's halfprice.

Several misleading advertisements were satirized. For instance, Medley lets one imagine a shower so full of scum that even the Scrubbing Bubbles throw up, creating a worse scenario.

Medley shared the spotlight with Lyons, who had also said earlier that he was nervous, but not as much as the first two times he appeared. "Making people laugh

is fun for them and me," he said.

Although relying on substance is important, Lyons said delivery and timing are crucial. For instance, he said he could inflect his voice better than any face he could make, so a large audience remains in his control.

Lyons began his routine commenting on IU's questionable snow removal practices: "Noticed the new snow-removal vehicles the University has purchased? Well, they polish the sidewalks to a glaze, making them even slicker. This is okay because it gives physical plant employees something to watch on their lunch hours — everyone falling."

Lyons commented on "other logic, or lack thereof' that fills TV programs. "Why is it that Fred and Wilma Flintstone always go to the same drive-in and order the brontosaurus ribs, when they know it is going to tip over the car?"

One member of Dubbletaque, the last act to perform, is Mick Napier, who said prior to the show that the group was "full of anticipation and a fever of selfexpression to the fullest degree. Through improvisation and dramatic action, we create from within."

He said the group members support each other. "Of course, there is the possibility of failing, but a greater risk of winning big," Napier said.

Their performance began by portraying the hassles the University can create for students. One member was pushed through a long path of IU staff just to cash a check: First, get the ID validated. But wait! You're on the checklist — go downstairs, big door, long line of people — to the Bursar. Go to account representative —give ID number, not on record, go to Student Services. Classes cancelled, go to Registrar. Sorry, you're not even registered as a student any more; shouldn't have tried to cash that check.

The other half of Dubbletaque's routine was a "funkified" version of "Hamlet," a clever spoof in song format.

All the finalists believed it was an accomplishment to perform before Klein, but after an applause vote, Medley won the competition. His prizes include a comedy show of his own at Bear's Place, and an interview with a William Morris agent.

Jennie Shore