THE ARCH CONSERVATIVE, Spring 2014

Spring 2014 Raising the Standard.

The Founders By: BLAKE SEITZ,

ELIZABETH RIDGEWAY & JOHN HENRY THOMPSON

Abraham Baldwin, Georgia

HEY SGA, SIGN OUR PLEDGE! p. 19 • FOUR ATHENS, p. 14

THE EDITORS

Snuffing Out Responsibility “This is about behavior modification.”

T

he breezeway outside the Miller Learning Center is littered with cigarette butts strewn in a halfmoon shape around benches, demarcating a popular area where students congregate between classes to smoke. The spent cigarettes are an eyesore. Surely, they are a hassle to the janitorial staff. And they are the direct consequence of UGA’s 2011 decision to ban smoking within 35 feet of campus buildings.

Before the partial ban, ashtrays were provided in the breezeway so smokers could snuff out their cigarettes. After the partial ban, ashtrays were not exactly in the spirit of the law, so they were hauled off.

Smokers continued to smoke (to the surprise of no one), and blameless students are left wading through smoke and cigarette butts on the way to class.

The partial ban and its noneffect on smokers’ behavior is an interesting study in unintended consequences — all the outcomes that legislators and policymakers, in their fallibility, do not anticipate.

Now the Georgia Board of Regents seeks to go further. On the Regents’ February agenda is the Tobacco and Smoke-Free Campus policy, which would place a blanket ban on tobacco use at every public college and university in the state. By the time this edition reaches print, the vote will have been tallied. We expect the policy to pass and oppose it bitterly. Here’s why.

While the litter resulting from UGA’s partial ban is a nice story about the bestlaid plans of mice and men, it does not cut to the core of the issue. On utilitarian grounds, the total smoking ban is a slamdunk case for the regents, student government and every other would-be tinkerer on campus. Cigarettes are bad for you, 2 / The Arch Conservative

see. They will kill you. As will practically any other plant that is burned and inhaled into the lungs. You already know that, as do all your classmates who passed through the anti-smoking, anti-peer pressure campaigns with flying colors.

Yet some students have made the decision to smoke. Should they be punished for doing so?

Young deviants.

Ah, but what about non-smokers, some will say. Nationally, the biggest lobbying organization pushing for smoking bans is called the American Nonsmokers’ Rights Foundation, which advocates smoking bans to combat the nuisance of secondhand smoke. This is good messaging, because edicts controlling others’ behavior are more palatable when the behavior is harmful or annoying to a blameless third party. Thus the Eighth Commandment, Thou Shalt Not Steal.

As it happens, outdoor second-hand smoke represents a legitimate nuisance, the regulation of which is the proper domain of local give-and-take to ensure everyone gets along. Such matters are, as we have mentioned before, matters of prudence.

A 35-foot smoking ban could possibly be

justified in this way.

However, the externalities of tobacco smoke are not the main rationales behind the Tobacco and Smoke-Free Campus policy. Why else would the ban encompass e-cigarettes, which produce a nicotine mist but contain no tobacco?

The Regents’ motive must lie elsewhere.

Let them explain.

“I personally feel a great responsibility to protect our students from their own devices,” Regent Phillip Wilheit told the Chattanooga Times Free Press.

“This is about behavior modification,” Regent Larry Ellis told the Athens BannerHerald. “That’s what we’re all about in higher education.”

We couldn’t have said it better ourselves. The arguments behind every micro-tyranny in the country, from soda bans to speech codes, have many friends at the university level.

The arguments are an expression of a modern controlling mindset that seeks to eliminate choice and responsibility in peoples’ lives in the name of public health.

Tobacco and sugar have come in for a particular beating, ostensibly because they are so dangerous. Yet we note with interest that the main UGA campus remains — as it will in perpetuity — open container.

What of the health risks of alcohol? On game day, should binging students be protected from their own devices? Drink must be too common a vice among administrators and student government politicians to be persecuted in such a manner.

Having stated our case, we have only this to say to the Board of Regents: Give us liberty or give us death. It may be that the former hastens the latter, but that does not diminish its importance.

—The Editors SPRING 2014

Spring 2014 THE EDITORS

Snuffing

Out

Responsibility . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

2

THE CAMPUS INFORMANT. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 4 8

COLUMNS

Federal Dine-and-Dash Crunchy Cons

The New Elite

Tristan Bagala .

Sophie Giberga. .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 7

Connor Kitchings.

Georgia’s Success

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 6

Russell Dye

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .8

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 9

FEATURES

The Founders

M. Blake Seitz, Elizabeth Ridgeway & John Henry Thompson

Accelerating Athens

Elizabeth Ridgeway

The Master of Realpolitik

. . . . 10

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 14

Brennan Mancil. .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 16

6

HUMOR

The Liberal Lamprey “Poor Richard” . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 18

COVER PHOTO ARTIST: CHARLES FREDERICK NAEGELE TITLE: ABRAHAM BALDWIN (DETAIL) MEDIUM: OIL ON CANVAS DIMENSIONS: 65.5 x 51.125 (FRAMED) CREDIT LINE: GEORGIA MUSEUM OF ART, UNIVERSITY OF GEORGIA; GIFT OF PHINIZY CALHOUN GMOA 1949.214

For Immediate Release!

SGA Hecklers United .

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . 19

A quarterly journal of opinion raising the standard at the University of Georgia.

M. Blake Seitz,

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

John Henry Thompson, Elizabeth Ridgeway, WEB DESIGN David Sawyer GRAPHIC DESIGN Moira Fennell BUSINESS Meredith Pittman

SPRING 2014

MANAGER

PUBLISHER

archconuga.com archconuga@gmail.com TWITTER: @ArchConUGA MAIL: P.O. Box 1181 Athens, GA 30603

ON THE WEB: EMAIL:

CONTRIBUTORS Tristan Bagala

Rebel Lord

Chris Donaldson

Cole McFerren

Russell Dye

Nick McFerren

Houston Gaines

Pfeiffer Middleton

Sophie Giberga

Davis Parker

Connor Kitchings

Ryan Slauer

Sarah Scoggan Smith

Brennan L. Mancil

THE COLLEGIATE NETWORK

The Arch Conservative is a member publication of the Intercollegiate Studies Institute’s Collegiate Network. Special thanks go out to Mr. Philip Chalk of The Weekly Standard for his inestimable help.

The Arch Conservative / 3

CAMPUS

Vandalism of pro-life displays is not unique to UGA. Last year, the posters of a pro-life group at the University of Chicago were torn down and defaced. The posters advertised the group’s next meeting. Other instances of vandalism against pro-life displays have been documented at USC, Ohio State, Princeton and Harvard.

How shameful, that SFL’s opponents would resort to vandalism in order to — what, exactly? Show contempt for the opposition?

Protect vulnerable minds from the wiles and snares of pro-life supporters? How shameful, how telling.

—M. Blake Seitz

Debate Will Not Be Tolerated Pro-life banners mysteriously disappear.

T

wo weeks ago, the UGA chapter of Students for Life advertised a speaker event they hosted featuring Kelsey Hazzard, president of the national organization Secular Pro-Life. Signs touting that visit began vanishing campuswide.

According to Students for Life, posters disappeared in several academic buildings as well as residence halls, the Miller Learning Center and bus stops. The Arch Conservative’s own Elizabeth Ridgeway witnessed a hooded individual tear down an SFL banner from a display board outside the Physics Building. She salvaged the banner from a nearby trash can and took the picture found on this page.

While SFL replaced stolen posters as quickly as possible, the vandalism was not without cost: its members spent $30 of their own money to print new materials.

The money is hardly the disturbing part of this story. Universities pride themselves on their atmosphere of free inquiry and debate. Yet some on campus attempt to silence and intimidate their opponents by tearing down their promotional materials.

The Feminist Agenda

Your fee dollars fund this organization.

Facebook event title, “Field Trip to Sexy Suz!”:

“

Have you ever wanted to visit a sex shop but felt a bit nervous going on your own? Just want to embrace your sex positive side? Awesome because WSSO is taking our off week trip to Sexy Suz, a female friendly sex shop in prep for our next week’s meeting about pleasure! Come look around, buy a vibrator, or just hang out with some fellow feminists in a non-judgmental environment!

If you do this, you’re losing the argument.

4 / The Arch Conservative

SPRING 2014

KILROY WAS HERE. PHOTO BY ELIZABETH RIDGEWAY

(Picture caption: “May your vibrators be strong and your batteries be plentiful!”)

CAMPUS

Facebook event title, “Pleasure 101”:

“

Hey guys! Don’t have a special someone for Valentine’s Day? Well now it doesn’t matter! Come learn how to give yourself a lil’ lovin at this week’s WSSO. [Salaried UGA administrator] Katy Janousek from SHAG will be coming to give a presentation on sex toys and other fun things and answer questions in a safe and shame-free space!

Facebook event title, “Balls and Balls: Sexism in Sports”:

“

We all know that sexism is rampant among female [sic?] athletes but what about among fans? Come out on Monday to Tate 484 at 6:30 to discuss and learn more about sexism within the bastion of “American Manliness”!

—Women’s Studies Student Organization

Storming the Cupola Myers kids get crazy.

S

ources inform us of recent upheaval in the campus housing community — specifically, an unsanctioned UGA subreddit (/r/UGA/) aglow with speculation about how to access the cupola on the roof of Myers Hall. One user posted pictures looking out from the cupola as evidence of El Dorado, while others have offered instruction ranging from befriending RAs to magic incantations. While curiosity about hidden things can be beneficial and adventurous we don’t recommend this escapade. Arrest and other serious consequences remind us that all would-be “cupola raiders” (a Reddit username) are equal before the law.

—Elizabeth Ridgeway

Gearing Up

We’ve got the off-season jitters.

O

n February 5 at 2:40 p.m. 5-star defensive end Lorenzo Carter committed to the Bulldog Nation. Students cheered, grown men took tequila shots (no, really, I witnessed it) and Jeremy Pruitt added more talent to the Georgia defense. Currently, the 2014 recruitment class of the Georgia Bulldogs is ranked 8th in the nation, just behind that gross school in Gainesville.

There are a select few times during the offseason when college football hype approaches levels comparable to game day, and National Signing Day is one of them.

It brings out all that is best about college football. The camaraderie. The hype. The hate. The name-calling.

I have to confess: I am not all that interested in sports. But there’s something about being a Bulldog, about being a student at an institution as worthy of honor as The University of Georgia that makes standing in the student section on a Saturday something more meaningful than a simple game can ever explain. It makes National Signing Day exciting as we gear up and prepare for another season between the hedges. Go Dawgs.

—Ryan Slauer

SPRING 2014

SGA

I

WATCH

t has been a quiet start to the semester for SGA. As student government turns its attention to the critical campaign season, SGA Watch will keep its hawk-like focus on both the lame duck leadership and all the campaigners.

We are excited for the new electoral slugfest. SGA’s annual theater of the absurd will give a new crop of freshman a “teachable moment,” in the parlance of our times. Nothing exposes SGA’s fatal flaws like two weeks of empty preening and hackneyed slogans. Next time, we will bring you in-depth analysis of the impending titanic struggle.

For this edition, it falls to SGA Watch to highlight ever-more inane SGA programming. This semester, the USA Network’s “Characters Unite” College Bus Tour will visit campus. Now, conservatives hold in deep skepticism any endeavor centered around a “College Bus Tour.” But for the sake of informing our readers, let’s take a closer look at the bus — call it the Potemkin Express — that our own SGA is a “proud sponsor” of.

SGA helpfully informs us of the campaign’s trademark swag: T-shirts bearing the words “I Won’t Stand For ________.”

Express manufactured outrage right there on your chest.

And don’t forget to pose for a picture for the #IWontStandFor gallery.

But what, wonders the budding campus activist, should I fill in the blank with? There are just so many evils lurking about in the barren expanse of white supremacy that is our campus.

Ahh, but therein lies the beauty of the shirt. You can make your stand by not standing for whatever you want to not stand for.

SGA Watch has broached the topic of progressive angst before, but this latest banal ode to modern ultrasensitivity provides yet another opportunity. SGA, composed as it is of résumé-augmenters seeking employment in the D.C. bubble, must continue to root out injustice, even where there is none to be found. Perhaps USA Network’s feel-good department has convinced them that a bus tour featuring C-list celebrities will forever vanquish the darker aspects of human nature.

Meanwhile, the rest of us will simply enjoy life on a welcoming and tolerant — if sometimes maddening — campus. n —John Henry Thompson

The Arch Conservative / 5

COLUMNS

Federal Dine-and-Dash The Affordable Care Act jeopardizes a dream.

ew people epitomize the American Dream more than Lawrence Katz, owner of the Dot’s Diner restaurant chain in southeast Louisiana. Katz moved to New Orleans to work for a clothing manufacturer that was sold in 1996. He had always dreamed of owning his own company, and this closure proved to be his opportunity.

Katz maxed out his credit cards, cashed out his life insurance policy and spent his entire life savings to open the first Dot’s Diner in a New Orleans suburb. During its first year in business, Dot’s ran in the red. Stuck between a second mortgage and bankruptcy, business picked up at an opportune time and Mr. Katz finally attained his dream: a successful business to call his own.

Dot’s has grown into a New Orleans staple over the past 18 years. If you tune in to local radio in the area, it won’t be long before you hear an ad chime, “I’m not your Mamma, but you’re always at home at Dot’s Diner!” Dot’s six current locations, which employ 65 full-time employees, dot the map of New Orleans.

Katz offers his employees paid holidays, vacation, dental insurance, basic health insurance, vision insurance and term life insurance. He has also publicly expressed his desire to expand, and believes he has found a location that will become the chain’s most profitable.

6 / The Arch Conservative

Tristan Bagala is a freshman studying international affairs. He is a regular contributor to The Arch Conservative

49ers 2,000,000 Slang for companies that have cut payroll to 49 employees to avoid the ACA’s health insurance mandate. According to a recent survey, over half of businesses with between 40 and 70 employees are likely to “make personnel decisions” to stay under the 50 worker threshold.

Number of workers who will exit the labor force by 2017 due to the ACA, according to a CBO report published in 2014.

SPRING 2014

PHOTO COURTESY OF STEVE SNODGRASS

F

Out of luck, out of time.

Seemingly nothing could stop the progress of Katz’s business. Nothing, until the passage of the Affordable Care Act. Under the Affordable Care Act, employers with over 50 full-time employees must offer health insurance to them all or face a penalty, which for Katz six franchises would total $70,000 per year. Many of Katz’s employees have health insurance plans through their spouse or individual plans that suit them better, but this is not accounted for in the new health care law.

As a result, Katz can no longer afford to offer the benefits he once offered. In order to keep up with smaller restaurants who employ under the 50 person threshold, he must choose between paying the penalty or firing 16 employees and shutting down two of his least profitable diners. Katz is at a particular disadvantage because larger restaurant chains with vast pools of employees have an easier time purchasing group policies, while smaller, local restaurants like his competitors’ can continue without providing coverage at all.

Not only does the new law place unnecessary pressure on Katz’s existing businesses, but he is also reluctant to expand.

While the restaurant he was planning to open could have been his most successful, the recent wave of executive orders changing the law leaves him uncertain about how to proceed, as the amount of the penalty could change at the stroke of a pen.

“I want no part in adding employees over the fifty person limit,” Katz said. “My

instinct tells me it would be our best location, and with all that, I decided not to open a restaurant there. Why? Because I determined that the prospect of adding fifteen more employees and permanently ensuring I would be over the fifty person employee limit would be more harmful than the profits I might gain.”

So what is left for Katz, a man once down to the bottom of his bank account but who built a business and became his own boss? After years patiently creating a great product, now his life’s work has been jeopardized by one-size-fits-all government intervention. He is left testifying before a Senate Committee chaired by his own elected representative, Sen. Mary Landrieu, about how the law she helped to pass will leave all his employees worse off than before.

Despite offering generous employee benefits for a simple restaurant chain, these benefits are no longer deemed sufficient by the lawmakers and bureaucrats half a country away. Workers who were happy with their past coverage are being forced into federal exchanges to purchase plans that don’t carry their current doctor and provide unwanted services.

According to President Obama, small businesses are the “backbone of our economy.” Yet he remains immovable to the cries of small businesses that his new healthcare law is doing much to break. n

COLUMNS

Crunchy Cons Traditionalists go wild.

I

“VETERAN IN A NEW FIELD” BY WINSLOW HOMER

magine a twenty-one year-old woman. She does her grocery shopping at Whole Foods Market, where she stuffs her reusable shopping bags full of organic fruits and vegetables. On the weekends she does yoga and wanders aimlessly through her local farmers’ market. Her passions are food literacy and security; she runs a school garden program. If I were to ask you about this young woman’s political persuasion, what would you say?

But what if I told you this same young woman is fresh off of an internship with the Heritage Foundation? What if I told you she even writes for The Arch Conservative?

If you haven’t realized by now, I’m talking about me. For some time I struggled with how to define myself politically. Even though political stereotypes equate reusable shopping bags with die-hard lefties, I still hold to conservative beliefs. And when my more conservative friends couldn’t understand my insistence on organic vegetables and told me that I must be a closet liberal, I knew otherwise. It wasn’t until I happened upon a book by former National Review contributor Rod Dreher that I finally had a label for myself: I am a crunchy con.

Dreher is the author of Crunchy Cons: Sophie Giberga is a junior studying political science and economics.

She is a regular contributor to The Arch Conservative

SPRING 2014

How Birkenstocked Burkeans, gun-loving organic gardeners, evangelical free-range farmers, hip homeschooling mamas, rightwing nature lovers, and their diverse tribe of countercultural conservatives plan to save America (or at least the Republican Party).

In Chapter 1, Dreher describes his family’s countercultural tendencies, from its

Against the grain. participation in an organic food co-op to its decision to homeschool their kids. He writes, “Now, it had never occurred to me, except in a jokey way, that eating organic vegetables was a political act, but my editor’s snarky remark got me to thinking about other ways my family’s lifestyle was countercultural, and why, though we were thoroughly conservative in our morals and our politics, we weren’t a good fit on either the mainstream left or right.”

Today the word “crunchy” is used interchangeably with “granola” to identify those who are environmentally-conscious, engage in such activities as slack-lining or hammock-lounging, and, more likely than not, choose a bicycle as their main form of transportation. Mainstream media and political stereotypes associate “crunchy” tendencies with the hippie environmentalists of the left. As a crunchy con, I

wholeheartedly reject this association. In fact, I would argue that conservatism is inherently symbiotic with environmental conservation and my “crunchy” lifestyle.

Conservatives believe in conservation — be it of traditional values, constitutional rights or the earth and its resources. So while conservatives are often depicted as the “anti-environmentalists,” our values more appropriately lend themselves to a view on the environment, health and the earth that focuses on conservation and empowerment. The anti-environment label placed on conservatives derives from our opposition to the way liberals cultivate environmentalism as a secular religion. We also abhor their penchant for sweeping legislation, regulation and violation of individual liberties.

What Dreher claims really identifies crunchy conservatives — and is the reason why they are so often mistaken for liberals — is their “disdain for, or at least a healthy suspicion of, mass culture.” This is true of most conservatives in some respects. We appreciate tradition and are skeptical of progressives’ constant desire for change. But beyond that, crunchy cons seek authenticity and originality. We value true quality in the things we consume, which leads us to seek out the tastiest homegrown veggies and to frequent local vendors instead of strip malls.

Crunchy cons believe that these are the things that make life richer. We don’t want to fall victim to the uniformity of modern consumerism, so we value aesthetic and we appreciate things that are unique and funky. We value tradition, even in the way our food is grown. And we believe in the beauty of God’s creation and the importance of protecting it. So while we may seem like misfits, with our homemade granola and Chacoed feet, our lifestyle combines the most important of conservative values with a love of natural beauty and authenticity. n The Arch Conservative / 7

The New Elite Washington, D.C. is out of touch.

T

he scariest aspect of democracy is its potential to devolve into something other than democracy. This fear comes from the possibility of an elite class developing and gaining control of the government by popular support or outright repression. The elites could then use the government’s power to maintain their dominant position and set up a permanent ruling class. This process occurs frequently in Africa, where democratic governments are toppled by military coups and tribal insurgencies.

By contrast, the United States prides itself on its economic and social mobility, both of which, in theory, prevent a ruling class from developing. Even so, the right and left both point out that some form of “elites” are running the country; the left points to corporations and the wealthy, while the right points to academics and the entertainment industry. Both miss the obvious answer, however, if we take by “elite” to mean separation from the common man in wealth, power and residence.

The true elite class in America has become those who work in and around government.

You have no doubt heard of Dwight Eisenhower’s Military-Industrial Complex. America now has a Government-Industrial Complex. Lobbyists, think tanks, technocrats; all have swarmed Washington D.C. just in the past decade.

Before 2000, the previous half-century marked a decline of the city’s population, by almost 30 percent. Now, since 2000, Connor Kitchings is a freshman studying political science and economics. He is a regular contributor at The Arch Conservative

8 / The Arch Conservative

Washington’s population has increased by 10 percent. And that does not include astounding population growth in the Virginia and Maryland suburbs.

As people have descended on Washington, so has wealth. Between 2000 and 2012, median household income in the city rose by 23 percent. During the same period, median household income in the nation dropped by almost seven percent. More

than five years after the financial crisis of 2008, the area surrounding the Washington, D.C. metro area is a juggernaut. Of the ten richest counties in the nation (that is, the counties with the highest median incomes), the Washington metropolitan area accounts for six. Nothing could advertise the emergence of a new elite class better than the wealthy converging around centralized power.

Official members of the federal government are, of course, a problem. The average net worth of members of Congress is over one million dollars, a figure testament to the reality of campaign finance. For the first time in the nation’s history, most members of Congress are millionaires. As

for federal government employees, according to the Congressional Budget Office total compensation for workers who have earned at least a Masters degree is higher than that of their private sector counterparts. This comparison does not include the federal government’s notoriously cushy job security, evidenced by the failure of government to fire anyone involved in the NSA, IRS, Benghazi and Healthcare.gov scandals. The wealth and power that these people hold, added with the protection of their positions, places them apart from the average American.

Many are now pushing back against the elite society in D.C. Consider the growing movement for a 28th Amendment to the Constitution, which would create congressional term limits (the re-election rate for members of Congress is 90 percent; their average tenure is over ten years).

Term limits have potential, but they would have the adverse consequence of exacerbating the “revolving door” between government, lobbying firms, Political Action Committees and the media.

This revolving door has existed for decades. Once Hill members leave government, many find jobs in the media or in political consulting. The last six years, the door has turned the other way as well: at least 15 members of the media — White House Press Secretary Jay Carney, famously — have left jobs in the news media and joined the Obama administration. Some, like former Senators Jim DeMint and Dick Lugar, left positions in government to head think tanks like the Heritage Foundation (DeMint) or PACs like 19th Star (Lugar). This practice has blurred the lines between government, which represent constituents’ interests, and interest groups, which by definition represent special interests.

Once one group of people controls the government, then the government is no longer representative of the people, even if those people are elected. This problem will not be solved overnight, but America needs to recognize the elite class in Washington D.C. for what it is, and fight back so the United States does not devolve further into oligarchy. n SPRING 2014

PHOTO COURTESY OF MATT ORTEGA

COLUMNS

COLUMNS

Georgia’s Success From welcher’s colony to economic dynamo.

W

hen King George II signed the charter for the Province of Georgia on April 21, 1732, he was commissioning James Oglethorpe to create a colony with three purposes. Georgia would a) serve as a buffer state between British South Carolina and Spanish Florida, b) serve as a debtors’ refuge for lowly members of the British state and c) serve as a site for future agricultural production.

The colony was not intended, nor expected, to amount to much. It was designed to provide meager monetary benefit to the British Empire while protecting King George’s key assets (South Carolina, North Carolina and Virginia) in the north.

Two hundred and eighty-four years Russell Dye is a junior studying political science. He is a regular contributor to The Arch Conservative

later, the State of Georgia has amounted to much more than a welcher’s asylum and buffer state. It has become one of our union’s finest places to live and do business.

In 2014, the State of Georgia is well-situated among the other states in the union.

Unlike in the past, where immigrants to the colony came mainly to work off debts accumulated in the Old World, Georgia has become a place where businesses invest their money and plant their headquarters. Last November, Georgia was named the number one state for business by Site Selection magazine; it has become a prime place for prosperity. Major corporations like Delta, Coca-Cola and UPS call Georgia home and bring jobs to the state, to the benefit of thousands of Georgians. How to explain this success?

One reason for Georgia’s economic prosperity is the excellence of its higher education system. According to CNBC’s Top States for Business, Georgia is home to the eighth best university system in the United States. This accolade is due in large part to the continued popularity of the HOPE

Scholarship, which keeps Georgia’s brightest scholars in its undergraduate institutions. As more of the state’s smartest students remain in Georgia for their college education, it is likely a greater number will give back to Georgia by staying in the state after graduation. These graduates entice businesses to bring higher-paying, technical jobs to the Georgia workforce, which in turn makes the state a better place for citizens and corporations alike.

Another reason for Georgia’s growth is its tax structure, which according to the Tax Foundation levies among the lowest tax rates on citizens and corporations in the country. One does not need to be a Journal-reading supply sider to appreciate how low tax rates facilitate job creation and growth. As long as Georgia maintains its competitive and low-tax system of governance, it will continue to serve as a safe haven for businesses and consumers to invest.

Georgia has come a long way in its 284 year history, but that does not mean it should settle for anything less than the best.

Georgia must continue to pursue widespread prosperity by encouraging healthy private and voluntary sectors. The “state” of Georgia is strong, and it is growing in ways the likes of King George II and James Oglethorpe could scarcely have thought possible. If it stays the course, Georgia will continue to surprise. n

Join the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy.

Write for

The ARCH

Raising the Standard

CONSERVATIVE Contact M. Blake Seitz, Editor-in-Chief, at

archconuga@gmail.com

SPRING 2014

The Arch Conservative / 9

FEATURES

The Founders

Abraham Baldwin

by M. BLAKE SEITZ

O

f all the Founding Fathers UGA students know, the man who built their university is likely not one of them.

Abraham Baldwin’s statue stands prominently on north campus, as does the academic building bearing his namesake. Last month, Founder’s Day celebrated his legacy with a banner and a speech that did not focus at all on the founder himself.

So what do students know of Baldwin?

If he has diminished to a long-dead ghost haunting campus through a name and cast bronze visage, then it is a shame. His contribution to the republic was not limited to the land-grant university we benefit from today. Abraham Baldwin was an educator, a patriot, a man of faith and a statesman.

According to some historians, he was also the savior of the Constitution.

Abraham was born the third of twelve children to a blacksmith in Connecticut, 1,000 miles from the colony, not yet a state, 10 / The Arch Conservative

that would come to adore him. Smithing was a respectable trade in the eighteenth century, but the demands of twelve children ensured the Baldwin clan was not wealthy or particularly prominent.

Still, young Abraham and his siblings received a top-flight education. Their father insisted on it: he sank practically every pound of his income into his children’s education.

Abraham matriculated to Yale University at the customary age of 14, where he received formal training in classics and Congregationalist theology.

The Revolutionary War found Baldwin still at New Haven, where he had spent the past nine years, first as a student and then as a tutor. The war disrupted classes, and the next year Baldwin traded his tutorship for a position as chaplain in the Continental Army.

Chaplains were prominent figures in the military hierarchy at the time, with pay equal to colonels.

Religious duties aside, they were responsible for maintaining the morale of the troops by providing small services (like transcribing letters for the illiterate) and grand speeches. Baldwin’s oratory was compared to that of Cicero, whom he studied extensively at Yale.

After the War, a promising young man like Baldwin could have done any number of things. He could have gone into ministry, accepted a professorship at Yale or followed his father into business, to name only three.

His ambitions were elsewhere. Namely, his ambitions were in a rural, sparsely populated state well south of anywhere he had traveled before.

Baldwin left Connecticut for the port city of Savannah, GA, where he hoped to

enter the law. He did for a time, but within a year of his arrival his neighbors called him to a new duty: state politics. This was the beginning of a meteoric — Baldwin would say providential — career as a statesman.

During his brief service as a representative to the unicameral state legislature, Baldwin harnessed his legal expertise to establish a state copyright system and settle border disputes with Indian tribes and neighboring states. His ambition, however, was education — within eight days of his arrival at the legislature, the body passed Baldwin’s charter establishing America’s first public university. He envisioned the university as the ultimate destination for SPRING 2014

PHOTO BY HOUSTON GAINES PRINT COURTESY OF APPLETON’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF AMERICAN BIOGRAPHY

Three individuals who shaped a nation.

PAIINTING BY REMBRANDT PEALE

FEATURES

a feeder system of “academies” that would educate Georgians and make them fit for democratic governance.

Baldwin worked feverishly toward its establishment, although hostilities with local Indians (in his ambition, he had chosen the deep frontier for the university’s location) delayed the university’s first term until after Baldwin stepped down as president and entered national politics.

Baldwin’s faith in the salvific power of education is one aspect of his peculiar political beliefs, which can best be described as conservative localism. His optimism about democracy was combined with a measured distrust of government-fromafar, which Baldwin said could not “extend its cares to the local matters of the State.”

While Baldwin was a federalist, he opposed the strong-state Federalist Party of Alexander Hamilton, and even went against his own love of education in opposing the creation of a national university. In Congress, he was a vigorous steward of the public’s money, remarking on one occasion that he would rather “sell the very seats on which we sit” than “create a debt on posterity.” And, while Baldwin intemperately supported the French people in their revolution, he more often hewed to Burke than to Paine. He cautioned at one point that government should “Take care, hold the wagon back; there is more danger in its running too fast than its going too slow.”

Baldwin’s personal political beliefs are not as important as the one moment when he set them aside. Less than five years after moving to Georgia, Baldwin was selected as one of Georgia’s representatives to the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia. He was one of two Georgians, along with William Few, to sign the document.

In June 1787, it was not clear the document would survive to be signed. While most of the document’s substance had been decided, there remained the question of representation in the new, national Congress. Large states rallied around the Virginia Plan, which guaranteed representation on the basis of population; small states rallied around the New Jersey plan, which guaranteed equal representation for the states. Both sides feared their autonomy would be diluted under the other plan.

Eventually, a vote was slated on state equality, and tempers ran hot. Delegates heaped conspiratorial denunciations on their opponents, and threatened to SPRING 2014

walk if their plan did not prevail. As Few wrote grimly, “it was an awful and critical moment. If the Convention had been adjourned, the dissolution of the States seemed inevitable.”

Georgia, while sparsely populated, had thrown in early with the large states because it anticipated dramatic population growth as its frontier was tamed. Baldwin himself preferred the large state plan. The representatives of Georgia, as the southern-most state, were slated to vote last.

A tie vote came to the Georgia delegation: five states against the plan, five states for. Small state delegates realized with horror their plan would not muster the required votes. But Baldwin cast his ballot with the small states, cancelling his colleague’s ballot and hanging the vote. According to a later historian, the maneuver was a “miracle.”

Two months later, Baldwin signed the Constitution.

When Abraham Baldwin died in the nation’s capitol in 1807, he did not leave behind a widow or biological children.

As young leaders at his University, in the country he helped to found, we are the heirs to his legacy. The statue is not tribute enough.

Dolley Madison

by ELIZABETH RIDGEWAY

I

f James Madison — president, co-author of the Federalist Papers and political historian extraordinaire — was a lover of ideas, his wife Dolley was a lover of people.

In 1809, when Madison assumed the presidency, the fledgling United States needed both.

Founders are revered because they established institutions for posterity, imbuing them with the ideas they value most. James Madison’s contributions to our country survive in his voluminous writings, which detail the precepts of representative government. Mrs. Madison’s founding legacy endures less formally, but perhaps more vividly.

Dolley was born in North Carolina to Quakers John and Mary Payne in 1768. Although the Paynes soon moved to Philadelphia, perhaps it was Dolley’s birthplace that quickened the association of hospitality with Southern culture. Her first husband,

Quaker John Todd, died in the yellow fever epidemic of 1793. Her second marriage to the “great little Madison” forced her out of the Society of Friends, for James was not a Quaker.

Dolley soon found her place in another community. Vivacious and welcoming, she became the darling of Washington during her husband’s service as Secretary of State and President. Her contribution to the American heritage runs deeper, however, than popular acclaim.

It is true that the people loved Dolley, who reciprocated by throwing her efforts into the public position she assumed, later titled First Lady. In 1809, Washington, D.C. had been the nation’s capitol for less than a decade: the young city was connected by muddy roads, and seemed impermanent due to the transience of congressmen and ambassadors. As Washington’s official hostess, Dolley drew her neighbors together and welcomed visiting statesmen with fashionable parties and evening socials. Dinners at the warm, lighted White House, elegant with furnishings from American craftsmen, stimulated intellectual conversation and friendly political relations. Dolley’s crowded drawing-room, sparkling with good spirits and her own vibrant clothes, bound Washington into a community.

These gatherings were Dolley’s own means of political influence. The person closest to the president was not a trusted legal adviser, but his immediate companion in private life: it is evident in their letters that James Madison esteemed his wife’s political opinion. Besides receiving much The Arch Conservative / 11

The Burning of Washington, 1814. correspondence — requests for money, for accelerating the courts, for helping with charitable causes — from citizens whose hearts she won, Dolley subtly fostered favorable diplomatic relations when the vulnerable young country needed them most.

Allida Black of the White House Historical Society points out, “[Dolley’s] gracious tact smoothed many a quarrel. Hostile statesmen, difficult envoys from Spain or Tunisia, warrior chiefs from the west, flustered youngsters — she always welcomed everyone.” The United States, known globally for recent hostility to its mother country, needed hospitality in its public image.

Within the country, the young federal executive branch, still whispered to be a nascent monarchy, needed a popular spirit to counteract the pompous trappings of state.

Dolley also preserved American ideals in the War of 1812. In 1814, as the British army approached Washington, Dolley bravely refused to flee the White House.

Instead, when the enemy arrived to burn the presidential mansion, Dolley rescued documents and paintings significant to the founding — including a prized portrait of George Washington and a copy of the Declaration of Independence — before retreating to safety. The act was more than an impulse to preserve valuable sheets of canvas and paper: Dolley recognized the importance of ceremonial symbols to a nation young in its heritage. Abandoning 12 / The Arch Conservative

these high expressions of American ideals to British derision and destruction would cripple the United States’ momentum for winning the war against a nation much larger, stronger and older.

Dolley Madison’s legacy may be unwritten, but her contributions to the American founding have endured. She established a pattern for how the president’s companion, the First Lady, could tangibly benefit his service to the country. Her warm diligence grew a community in Washington, an important step toward stabilizing a nation born from revolution. Her quick thinking as the White House was emperiled protected the American ideal, which was always intended to outlast the crumbling buildings of state. Beloved by the people of her time, Dolley Madison deserves the admiration of our generation. She helped preserve the best of American institutions for us, her posterity, just as any wise founder does.

George Mason

by J.H. THOMPSON

O

f all the compliments handed down in the long history of flattery, Edmund Randolph’s praise for George Mason cannot be overlooked. Founding Father and governor of Virginia, Randolph described Mason as “behind none of the sons of

Virginia in knowledge of her history and interest.”

Historian Ralph Ketcham goes even further: Mason was “widely acknowledged as having the most profound understanding of republican government of any man in Virginia. Madison and Jefferson always deferred to him as their mentor on matters of political theory.” It is easy for a man to stand out against a crowd of mediocre contemporaries. It is far more difficult to achieve such distinction when one shares the stage with the giants of the American founding.

How does one know when a Founder is underrated? How about when the man is known to most Americans only as the namesake of a college that once made an NCAA Tournament run? Although little known today, without Mason’s considerable influence American democracy might look very different today.

George Mason was an American embodiment of the Enlightenment, complete with the Enlightenment’s inherent contradictions. He was a terse and critical planter who owned one of the largest estates in Virginia. But he was also a scholar of political theory and a fervent believer in the natural rights of man. Much of his literary work has been lost, but that which remains is as impressive a portfolio as can be claimed by any Founder (and certainly more influential than most).

Mason drafted the Virginia Declaration of Rights, a document that presaged the Bill of Rights in form and function. The Virginia Declaration influenced every major founding document of the United States, and it did so beautifully and articulately.

Here is the first American political document espousing now-familiar prose: “All men are by nature equally free and independent, and have certain inherent rights,” “the freedom of press is one of the great bulwarks of liberty,” “all men are equally entitled to the free exercise of religion according to the dictates of conscience.”

George Mason did not sign the Constitution. An active participant in the Constitutional Convention, Mason took a look at that body’s final draft and found it wanting. Always a reluctant public politician, Mason left the fire-and-brimstone denunciations so beloved by neo-Anti Federalists (your humble correspondent included) to Patrick Henry. But Mason’s conviction that the original draft of the Constitution was SPRING 2014

PRINT COURTESY OF JOHN ADCOCK

FEATURES

PHOTO COURTESY OF WALLY GOBETZ PRINT COURTESY OF APPLETON’S ENCYCLOPEDIA OF AMERICAN BIOGRAPHY

FEATURES

i na d e qu ate ran deep. Safeguarding the rights of sovereign individuals and states meant everything to Mason, who had made a name for himself as an eloquent but deadly dismantler of royal apologist arguments. Until a declaration of rights resembling his Virginian triumph was added, Mason could not in good conscience support ratification.

Federalists argued that the Constitution possessed adequate structural mechanisms to protect liberty. This included enumeration of powers — which indicates that the Founders did not view the so-called elastic clause as a catch-all for government expansion, something progressives should note.

But Mason and others were not convinced that enumeration and procedural limits such as separation of powers would be enough to protect the individual and the government of his home state from federal tyranny. Their concerns were, as history has proven, unquestionably justified. The decision to include an explicit documentation of the key rights of citizens (and the indisputable legal cover inherent therein) was one of the most important in early American political history.

Mason’s attempt to derail ratification was based on more than the absence of a Bill of Rights. He accurately predicted another pernicious development in federal governance: the omnipotent judiciary. Mason was convinced that, if left unrestrained, SPRING 2014

the federal bench would render state courts impotent and make state governments vassals to federal jurisprudence.

Today, Mason has been overshadowed by his more flamboyant contemporaries.

The Anti-Federalists are dismissed by history textbooks as wild-eyed cranks who couldn’t understand — perhaps because they couldn’t muster the intellect — the dire need for centralized federal power. This is unfair. Without the Anti-Federalists, there would be no liberty, or at least, there would be less of it. And without George Mason, the Anti-Federalists would have lacked a champion capable of going toe-totoe with Marshall and Madison.

George Mason once warned that in the absence of a Bill of Rights, American government would become a “moderate aristocracy,” and admonished that Americans should ever guard their natural rights.

He was a statesman for all time, and should be remembered as such. Perhaps it was more patriotic, in retrospect, for Mason to have declined to sign the Constitution.

Mason gave up prestige and the opportunity to be hailed as a courageous framer of a perfect document. He gave this up because he knew the cause of liberty was larger than the results of one convention, and that those who settle for less freedom than their Creator has bestowed are foolish. n

H

ow can conservatism support founders? After all, a founding is the beginning of something new — a change which strict conservatism resists by definition. We disparage founders like Marx and FDR for the untested novelty of their institutions, yet laud America’s fathers for the Revolution establishing a new country. Why the seeming discrepancy?

The point of reconciliation lies beyond surface appearance, in the ideas which the founders propagated. Ideas are rightly discarded when they misconstrue or ignore objective principles of life: communism falsely equates justice with an impoverished vision of equality. Conversely, we commemorate the founders of our country because their institutions reflect pragmatic truth about the human condition. Founders are worthy of admiration not solely because their ideas or establishments are new, but because they acknowledge what endures in life. The founders guarded against the self-interest and fallibility evinced by human history, yet provided means for individuals to work toward happiness as each saw fit.

The American founding, then, was not as revolutionary as we might imagine; it was deeply rooted in the tradition of English law and was christened by Lockean Enlightenment.

We commemorate some founders because their ideas were not new, but merely old ones gone unrecognized for many years.

—Elizabeth Ridgeway

A Founder forgotten.

The Arch Conservative / 13

FEATURES

Accelerating Athens A local nonprofit pushes entrepreneurs toward success.

D

own town, there is excitement beyond the bars: an office on the corner of Dougherty and Lumpkin is revitalizing entrepreneurship in Athens.

The unassuming building houses Four Athens Tech Incubator, a concentration of professional resources and creative energy which aims to accelerate development for technology-based startup companies.

Four Athens’ second annual Open Elizabeth Ridgeway is Publisher of THE ARCH CONSERVATIVE.

House on January 21 had the town talking, and not only because of the free food.

Winter winds whirled outside, but the nonprofit’s offices bustled with business owners, investors, consumers and students networking in the heart of Athens’ startup community.

Project director Jim Flannery founded Four Athens after creating his own successful business. About five years ago he developed dealmobs.com, a local group-buying service, to around ten employees before selling it to a larger company. Jim’s experience with dealmobs.com got him thinking

The director (right) does business.

14 / The Arch Conservative

about other opportunities. He commented, “Through the process I realized that …

I was just kind of lucky, and had a really great network around the country of lawyers and developers and people that I could reach out to when I had questions.”

Observing a need for such networks in Athens, Jim based his next project on the concept that aggregating entrepreneurial resources could improve a local economy and stabilize startup growth. The resulting nonprofit took its name from the four skills necessary to create a successful technology-based startup: tech development, business, sales and legal knowledge.

Four Athens launched in September 2011 already planning for the long term.

“You have to buy into doing this for twenty years before it shows successful results, so we’re one-tenth of the way there,” Flannery said.

A growing number of Athens’ entrepreneurs are buying into Four Athens’ collaborative concept, taking advantage of the legal, financial and mentoring resources it offers.

Workshops like “Startup Gauntlet” test the salability of a business idea. Such counsel can prevent years of wasted effort, Jim notes — after all, an innovation is only useful, and a business model only viable, if consumers are willing to pay enough for the service.

Community-building events like “Tech Happy Hour” connect individuals in a relaxed atmosphere, while mentoring meetings give new business owners guidance from tech veterans.

Four Athens also offers legal consultation, a crucial resource for new companies.

Knowledge of proper procedures when filing taxes for the first time can make all the difference when paying them later, after SPRING 2014

PHOTO COURTESY OF FOUR ATHENS

by ELIZABETH RIDGEWAY

FEATURES

Thoughtblox team members chat at Open House.

PHOTO BY ELIZABETH RIDGEWAY

years of development.

The Four Athens community is physical as well as digital. Osama Hashmi, a UGA student and founder of the healthcare communications service Vitamin C, values his office space at the Dougherty location.

The downtown building houses another dozen member companies who can rent full rooms at affordable rates or individual desks at shoestring prices. As noted by Jason Davis of the data startup picobarn, such collocation removes the distractions of a home environment and gives entrepreneurs the support of knowledgeable and sympathetic “co-workers.” Or, as Flannery puts it, “Density spurs innovation.”

Osama, who is passionate about improving the health care system, founded Vitamin C in August 2013. “A lot of people

SPRING 2014

see [problems] happening, and more or less we’ve decided to do something about it,” Hashmi said at the Open House.

Vitamin C, or “Your Care Made Simple,” aims to simplify communication in health care to increase the quality of patient care. Vitamin C streamlines doctor-patient discussion of prescriptions, treatment options and other medical issues through an online interface that’s easy to access outside the clinic. Four Athens, as the regional “startup support group,” facilitated Vitamin C’s rapid growth. Osama and a colleague now run the company from a Four Athens desk downtown, and a medical insurance brand recently agreed to beta test their product.

Vitamin C shares the downtown building with Thoughtblox, a “knowledgebuilding social blogging platform” founded by UGA senior Brad Glisson. Working from home over the summer, then moving to Four Athens as the product approached launch, Brad has created a website that combines the composition principle of blogs with the wide audience base of social media to deepen online communication.

Users can publish their thoughts on nearly any subject for a network of Thoughtblox friends or the general public, then “vote up” the best articles so they gain greater exposure in the community.

In Glisson’s words, the site — now open

for beta testers via their home page — “incentivizes the addition of new information into the world” and seeks to spread great ideas regardless of “how famous [the writers] are.” The Thoughtblox team also prizes their workspace at Four Athens: their large office, adorned with Bulldog banners and whiteboards, encourages focused work as well as relaxed collaboration.

Four Athens is eager to reach out to students at UGA, although Jim understands why only a few become involved while in school. “There’s a pretty concerted effort to reach out to students,” Flannery explained, referring to the Terry collaborations and events he uses to connect on campus.

Although time management issues may deter students from reaching out to the project, Flannery adds, “My door is always open to them, and I think the ones that are most successful are the ones who get involved as early as possible and really try to reach out to mentors … to learn from them and see what they’re doing.”

Ultimately, Four Athens is bringing business professionals together to sharpen their skills for entrepreneurial success. The nonprofit’s long-term vision combats the

My door is always open to them, and I think the [students] who are most successful are the ones who get involved as early as possible.

—Jim Flannery, director

transience inherent in a college town, envisioning a local economy that thrives on locally-founded businesses. Eventually, the city could begin regularly attracting startups based on its resources and success stories.

While Four Athens’ economic impact may take a decade or two to emerge, more immediately visible is the camaraderie and community it has built through events like the Open House. Four Athens is strengthening collaborative interdependence in Athens, combining innovation with local expertise to built relationships as well as businesses. Now that’s a good neighbor. n The Arch Conservative / 15

FEATURES

The Master of Realpolitik Henry Kissinger’s diplomacy.

by BRENNAN MANCIL

H

Brennan Mancil is a freshman studying political science and international affairs.

16 / The Arch Conservative

power and mateII and Chiang Kai-shek rial wealth the basis of in the Chinese Civil diplomatic relations War, Mao Zedong igrather than morals or nored the will of Soviet ideology. This yields —Henry Kissinger officials. Refusing to the ability to negotiaccept Stalin’s advice, ate with philosophical Mao created his own opponents like communist China. form of Marxism, now called Maoism.

Kissinger caught China’s government Maoism differs from Soviet Marxism-Leduring a growing rift with the Soviet Union. ninism in its support base and means of The Soviet Union and China superficially developing a communist society, looking marched to the same red tune, but deeper to peasant farmers rather than an indusinspection revealed division — largely in trial proletariat to spark revolution. It also their attitudes toward the West. The Sovi- seeks to abolish the divide between town ets abhorred the idea of cooperation with, and country through national industrialeven tolerating, Western nations. Con- ization. Mao viewed Marxism-Leninism as versely, China acted on whatever was best ineffective in spurring revolution in China for the country, economically or militarily. primarily based on these two beliefs. This Ideology further strained relations. ideological disagreement continued to While fighting the Japanese in World War fester throughout the diplomatic history

“Diplomacy: the art of restraining power.” ­

SPRING 2014

PHOTO COURTESY OF TOMMY JAPAN

enry Kissinger can assume more responsibility for hastening the fall of the Soviet Union than many American presidents in the same period. Not only did he, as National Security Advisor and Secretary of State, work closely with Presidents Nixon and Ford, he also facilitated cooperation with the most unlikely of allies. By resisting efforts within both administrations to act more aggressively against potential partners, Kissinger kept the U.S. from alienating those who would become powerful allies.

The greatest example of Kissinger’s diplomatic capability is his establishment of détente with China. He brokered agreements with the People’s Republic of China (PRC) in the early 1970s that kept the U.S. an influential force in the geopolitical affairs of Asia, despite America’s formal opposition to the PRC’s form of government.

For Kissinger, pragmatic self-interest justified this stance.

Kissinger’s central concept was raison d’état, which essentially means that national interest above all else determines a state’s mission. Philosophy, ethics or the personal opinions of political leaders should not shape policy more than what ensures national survival. This reasoning kept the United States from disregarding China as an ally based solely on its politics.

Raison d’état developed into an idea prevalent in international relations theory: realpolitik. Realpolitik considers a state’s

FEATURES

of the two nations, culminating in China’s willingness to ally with the United States against its supposed ideological twin.

Though China was weak, Kissinger met it with open arms: the two countries shared a common goal of opposing the Soviet Union. President Nixon sent Kissinger on a top secret mission to meet with Chinese Premier Zhou Enlai in July 1971. The success of this mission — and the Ping-Pong diplomacy made famous by Forrest Gump — paved the way for Nixon to visit China in February 1972, an unprecedented move of diplomacy. Despite strong ideological and diplomatic ties the United States maintained with the Republic of China (ROC), also known as Taiwan, the Nixon administration forsake the island in exchange for better relations with the mainland. Legally, the United States recognized the ROC as the true ‘China,’ but in reality treated the PRC as such. Kissinger only cemented the relationship with the PRC to establish the United States’ special status with China.

The Kissinger-constructed plan satisfied both sides. The U.S. agreed to politically abandon Taiwan to satisfy the Chinese. In exchange, China would pressure the North Vietnamese government to allow U.S. forces to withdraw with dignity from Vietnam. A more deeply integrated economic relationship mutually benefited both countries. At Kissinger’s encouragement, American businesses invested in China, fulfilling China’s prioritization of economic development as a forerunner

PHOTO S COURTESY OF GERALD R. FORD PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY

Consulting. to national prosperity. Most importantly, leaders of strategically important areas, Kissinger kept China from fully aligning like Egypt’s military regime. If a situation with the USSR in matters of geopolitical demands working with them, we shouldn’t importance. The U.S. had more influence lose opportunities to strengthen our nation over Chinese satellite states than over the accordingly.

Warsaw Pact nations, permitting us to have Second, ensure more ties are in place more influence over East Asia than Eastern than a parchment barrier. An international Europe. treaty is not a goal in itself, but the stepping What can we learn from Kissinger’s stone to geopolitical tools. Kissinger made example? Several things come to mind. sure that Americans were conducting busiFirst, ideological or political differences ness in China, which solidified our standshouldn’t impede reaching out to other ing with the Chinese. The U.S. ought to do nations. Despite Cuba’s communism, the same with other potential allies. for instance, the United States should atThird, take advantage of current events tempt to deepen economic ties for a posi- and manipulate them in America’s favor. tive business environment. Nor should the The Sino-Soviet split enabled the U.S. to U.S. turn off the ability to negotiate with step in and make a long-term ally. If another opportunity were to arise to do similarly, like the current situation in Ukraine, America should step forward as a dependable friend in return for the same.

Finally, put capable leaders in positions to make change. Kissinger served as both the National Security Advisor and the Secretary of State for a time because of his well-demonstrated ability to lead. Contemporarily, this idea seldom reigns, as political appointments to ambassadorships are given to party supporters rather than diplomatic experts. Recently, Obama’s appointee for Ambassador to Norway showed that campaign donors aren’t the best for such positions, especially if they can’t name the country’s form of government or major political parties.

While today we lack the same diplomatic clout enjoyed under Kissinger, his détente put the U.S. in a position of influence that carries on to this day. If only our Love thine enemy. current leaders could do the same. n

SPRING 2014

The Arch Conservative / 17

HUMOR

The Liberal Lamprey A curious creature.

by POOR RICHARD

that it knows what is best for them, even as they become anemic.

The sea lamprey is dependent on its host for sustenance: if there he common sea lamprey has not a mouth, but a maw: cir- is no nutrition to be gained from the victim, the lamprey will eicular rows of barbed teeth designed to hook into the side of ther move on or die. Even with a crippling national debt, governits prey. After a catch, the sea lamprey parasitizes its victim ment shutdowns and unbalanced budgets, the liberal lamprey is with a piercing tongue, slowly draining its lifeblood. still affixed to the belly of our democratic republic. Rather than With that visceral image in mind, picture now the gaping, move on after a recession, it is still feeding, sucking us dry. sucking maw of the liberal lamprey. Under the guise of But how? How can it possibly sustain itself on this “progress” this creature has cozied up to Americans American government? Taxes. and convinced them that it alone is the engine of a Taxes are the lifeblood of the liberal lamgood society — and that it is thus entitled to their prey that we cannot afford to nourish any money to make good on its sterling intentions. longer. The sucking maw of liberalism is Unlike the sea lamprey, the liberal lamprey drinking up tax dollars and funneling them no longer hunts, for it has found its prey. into government pork and special programs Increasingly, Americans (especially for constituents who seem doomed to conyoung Americans) buy into the idea tinue the cycle of ever-grander, ever-grimmer Petramyzon liberalus. that the government can, should and entitlements. The lamprey’s feeding must end one will take care of them. While the of two ways: the host must either realize its impending liberal lamprey fights tooth, nail and barb for a demise and struggle against it, or be condemned to ever greater hybrid car in every garage, a compact fluorescent light lethargy, until death. Either way, the only way to kill the lamprey is bulb in every socket, the right tries to come between government to make it as sickly as possible, by putting it on a tax-free diet. n and the people. It comes too late. The lamprey has convinced many

T

HUMOR

For Immediate Release: Traditionally, it has been the role of our elected and appointed representatives in student government to defend the interests of students at the University of Georgia. In SGA’s own founding document, it states that SGA shall be “the organized voice for each student” at UGA, and shall strive to “protect students’ rights” from usurpation. By this standard, all UGA students should be scandalized by SGA’s record.

Mandatory student fees are currently at their highest-ever total: $1,117 per full-time student per semester. This represents an increase of 247 percent in the last decade alone. Recent tuition increases have made the dramatic rise in mandatory student fees all the more devastating for students, many of whom are paying their way through school by working or amassing debt in student loans. With the burden of mandatory student fees at an all-time high, the sane observer would expect SGA to petition for relief on behalf of its constituents. The sane observer would be wrong. Instead, SGA has proposed to increase mandatory student fees. As it has admitted, new revenue seized from the increase would be used to purchase, among other frivolous items, solar-powered trashcans and water bottle re-filling stations. SGA has not formally petitioned the Board of Regents to decrease mandatory student fees.

It is our unpleasant duty, then, to announce the creation of the emergency group SGA Hecklers United (SHU, pronounced “shoo”). SHU will administer the UGA Student Protection Pledge, a homage to the Taxpayer Protection Pledge administered by Americans for Tax Reform.

Candidates who share our concern for the plight of fee-strapped students can sign, date and send their pledges to the address listed below. SHU will publicize pledge signers’ acceptances, whereupon the resulting wave of public support will carry them into office. Concerned students are encouraged to forward copies of the pledge to their representatives, along with terse predictions of electoral doom should they refuse to sign.

We hope the UGA Student Protection Pledge marks the dawning of a new era in student government, awakening all representatives of goodwill to the ongoing neglect of students’ rights caused by excessive student fees.

UGA Student Protection Pledge I, ____________________, candidate for Senate of the Student Government Association from the (Your name)

_____________________, pledge to the fee-paying students of said college, and to all students at the University (Your college)

of Georgia, that I will: (ONE) Represent the interests of fee-paying students by opposing any and all efforts by the Board of Regents, Senate colleagues and other groups to increase mandatory student fees, unless matched dollar-for-dollar by student fee decreases elsewhere; and, (TWO) Loudly heckle and ostracize those who, in supporting increases to mandatory student fees, abdicate their responsibility to constituent and non-constituent students alike, and to God. __________________________ Signature

____________ Date

__________________________ Witness

SGA Hecklers United Pledges must be signed, dated, witnessed and mailed to: SGA Hecklers United P.O. Box 1181 Athens, GA 30603 Questions, comments, media requests, expressions of defiance and admissions of capitulation may be directed to archconuga@gmail.com.

____________ Date