The Blue Lobster, Alexander Bogey ‘24

The Blue Lobster

One day, not too long ago, a baby lobster was born under the waves of a vast sea. This may not seem important in the grand scheme of things, but this lobster was special. You see, the lobster was blue, and it would be used in a special plot to change the course of the world, for better or worse. After being found by two divers, and being admired for a short period of time, the lobster was captured and swiftly slaughtered. Its carcass will be prepared for the king, and with the help of a wizard and some extremely elaborate magic, it would hopefully deliver the ruler to the fiery gates of hell.

It was on this day the ruler woke up. After he rises from his silk sheets, he is welcomed by the sight of the sunrise and a flock of peacocks being released into the sky. The jester appears with a greeting and a poem to please the king.

“For, the darkness can overwhelm thy good, and evil may spread across the land. However, through the great power of hope, the chaos shall be subdued with its only weakness, truth. The mighty warrior ventures into the wilderness, wielding a...”

“Jester, this is a fine poem, but I ask you to stop.”

“Do you not like it?”

“No, no, it is a fine poem. It is just that I am quite tired.”

“Was the poem not exciting?”

“No, Jester, frankly, I wish to rest a bit more, for my eyes can barely stay open.”

“I put a lot into this poem.”

“Jester, if you don’t give me 15 minutes of silence, I will do the unspeakable. Currently, I am exhausted, and I would like to end this conversation.”

“Nobody appreciates the arts of poetry anymore.”

“I do when my head does not want to be submerged into my bed.”

“Poetry is a medium that is proper for any situation.”

The two men looked at each other.

“Shall I prepare a poem for sleep?”

“Blast you, Jester, you dumb muppet. I wish for you to kindly walk out, and not be in my sight for the portion of the day.”

“Very well my liege.”

The jester slowly closes the door.

It was around late lunchtime once the king had awoken. Once at the table, the chef presents the covered platter.

“Dear king, I have made you a very, very special meal. I present to you the blue lobster.” The lid is removed, and the lobster gleams in the light, wedged amongst pieces of lettuce and lemon slices.

“A rare delicacy, the blue lobster shall be found only through genetic luck, and through luck we give you this dish. Broiled with the finest herbs to deliver that unique Mediterranean taste, time and attention were used wisely to create the perfect meal for you.”

The ruler stares at the dish and proclaims, “Well, what a pleasant surprise. I shall start eating at once.” After the first bite, he immediately passes out.

Darkness. The king is not dead, but not living either. After coming to his senses, a world of

swaying black and blue grass is revealed, with a bright light high in the sky. It gets closer and brighter until it crashes off into the distance. Through its wonder and awe, a creature emerges from the crater. A majestic orange zebra emerges, and gallops toward the king. Beams shine throughout the land, and the king is left in shock. He quickly awakes.

“Oh, you are still alive.” “Yes, I am quite alive.” The servants start to murmur among themselves. The king hears faint talk about a spell going

wrong.

“I have seen the most beautiful thing. It was a zebra, and it shined, and gleamed!” The servants exchange glances and continue their murmuring. Finally, a maid spoke. “You know, you might be able to see your zebra again if you continue eating.” “Excellent idea!”

He returns to the realm of the orange zebra. The light of the grass is not as radiant, and the zebra’s glow is dimming. It nudges the king, and their eyes meet. A gust of wind speeds by, and a giant, green mandrill leaps from the ground and rips the zebra in two! It throws the body off to the side, and lets out a primal roar that sends a shock wave across the world, pushing the king back. The king continues yelling once he wakes up.

“Stop, stop, why, ahh!”

“Oh God, he is back.”

“He is dead, the zebra is dead. Why!”

“Please calm down.”

“I can’t, the world has lost the zebra!”

“You should really finish your meal.”

“No, I can’t go back, I can’t go back!”

“It’s alright, just finish up.”

“The monkey, I can’t!”

“Do you know how much lobster costs in this economy?”

“What?”

“Lobster is a delicacy in this economy, it would be an insult if you were to finish now.”

“My economy?”

“You can’t afford a stick of butter in your economy, now please, resume your meal.”

“No, no, I can’t go back, I can’t go!”

The last thing the king saw were numerous servants shoving lobster down his throat.

He returns to the realm of the green mandrill. The mandrill squats over the land, staring toward the horizon. Green flames dance through the grass, and the king is scared poop-less. The mandrill flexes his teeth and grunts. Then, the orange zebra, (now with wings), rises up toward the sky! It flies toward the mandrill, and spits a surge of orange flames, shredding the mandrill into a million pieces. The green flames go out, and the orange zebra lands on the ground, glowing brighter than ever. It stands on its hind legs and lets out a neigh so outstanding, that when the king wakes, he is changed forever.

“I have been ruling wrong, the era of the orange zebra shall change it all. Scribe, I would like