3 Actitudes Para Tener Mas Éxito

By: Marilyn Martinez SPAIN

Ser mujer no es fácil…

¿Alguien está de acuerdo conmigo?

Las mujeres trabajamos, cuidamos de nuestros hijos, de nuestros padres y de todos los demás familiares y amigos que lo necesiten…cuidamos de nuestras casas y de las actividades y celebraciones de los nuestros…

Y en muchos casos, estudiamos e intentamos mejorar…

Y a pesar de lo estresante que todo ello puede llegar a ser, siento profundamente que ser mujer es un gran privilegio y me siento honrada de serlo…

Por ello, también os honro a vosotras sin importar el éxito que tengáis ahora mismo y quiero invitaros a honraros a vosotras mismas y a todas las mujeres que conozcáis porque para ellas tampoco es fácil y ellas también lo merecen…

Las mujeres estamos diseñadas para estar unidas, colaborar y ayudarnos entre nosotras y mediante ese “ayudarnos unas a otras” sanamos todas…

Por ello, quiero compartiros 3 actitudes y acciones que os pueden impulsar en vuestra vida personal y profesional para tener más éxito en todas las áreas de vuestra vida…

1) No necesitas ser perfecta

Las mujeres en general sentimos que tenemos que demostrar algo o al menos, parece que socialmente eso es lo que se nos exige… Perfectas en nuestro trabajo, perfectas esposas o parejas, perfectas físicamente, perfectas en nuestra casa perfectamente limpia, perfectas madres, hijas, amigas… Y ello nos lleva a exigirnos algo que sería imposible cumplir por una sola mujer… puede que tres mujeres pudieran llegar a hacerlo, pero desde luego no una sola con 24 horas al día…

Muchas mujeres que son madres se sienten culpables por no poder estar con ellos y cuidarlos mientras trabajan y llegan a estresarse y a agotarse tanto que finalmente les produce problemas de salud y una profunda infelicidad ya que no pueden estar bien ni con sus hijos, ni con su pareja ni con ellas mismas…

La perfección nunca va de la mano de la felicidad

Permíteme que te lo repita e intenta que cale en ti y veas si te resuena…

La perfección nunca va de la mano de la felicidad…ni para ti, ni para nadie que te rodea…Y lo sé muy bien porque yo hice lo mismo gran parte de mi vida porque siempre pensaba que no hacía suficiente, que no trabajaba suficiente, que no era suficiente buena madre, no cuidaba de mi salud lo suficiente, no tenía mi casa lo suficientemente limpia…

¿Te suena?

Así que te invito a darte permiso para liberarte de esa perfección…

Créeme, eres más que suficiente, haces más que suficiente y no necesitas demostrar nada, piense lo que piense la gente…

Sólo puedes dar lo mejor de ti cuando tú estás bien, cuando te hablas bien, cuando te tratas bien, cuando dejas de poner a todos y a todo antes que tu bienestar…

Hace tiempo escuché una frase muy sencilla que ahora uso como mantra: Mejor hecho que perfecto

Porque muchas veces, después de esa perfección está el miedo a fracasar, a ser juzgadas, a tener éxito e incluso el conocido síndrome del impostor…

Por eso a veces pensamos que necesitamos un curso más, más práctica, repasarlo más veces…

Así que te invito a soltar la perfección y abrazar tu autenticidad porque nadie necesita tanta perfección y la gente está deseando ver más gente real…

¿Y por qué nos gusta tanto la gente real? Porque entonces nos da permiso a los demás para ser más auténticos y menos perfectos y porque cuando alguien es real puede conectar con la gente de alma a alma, de corazón a corazón…

2) Escucha a tu corazón

No quiere decir que no uses tu cerebro o que no cuestiones las cosas, sino que escuches la llamada de tu corazón…

Ese propósito para el que estás diseñada, para el que tienes un don especial… Eso que te apasiona y que adoras hacer…

Creo firmemente que cuando algo te apasiona tanto y se te da de forma natural es porque está alineado con tu propósito de vida…

A veces, es algo tan natural para ti que a ti misma se te pasa por alto porque es un don natural con el que has nacido…

Pero pon atención a lo que te dice la gente sobre alguna de tus cualidades o lo que se te da bien porque ahí puede estar la esencia de eso que el mundo está esperando que tú aportes…

Siento profundamente que todos estamos aquí por algo y si encuentras ese propósito y tienes un “para qué” más grande que tus miedos, entonces el éxito es inevitable…

Yo siempre suelo decir una frase que me encanta que es “Ama lo que haces, haz lo que amas” …

Así que si ahora mismo estás en un trabajo que no es el que más te gusta, te invito a que lo hagas con amor y pongas lo mejor de ti en él, porque ése será el puente para que algún día puedas hacer lo que amas de verdad…

Y si no pudieras llegar a dedicarte a lo que te de verdad amas, al menos ese “hacerlo con amor” dirá mucho de ti, de tu capacidad de liderazgo y de tu compromiso como persona y como profesional y será una inspiración para tus hijos o para cualquier persona que te conozca…

Si vas a hacer algo, mejor que sea bien… Como dice Toni Robbins, “ Como haces una cosa, haces todas”

3) No te compares con nadie

Tu mayor ventaja es ser tú misma…

Nadie es mejor que tú haciendo de ti misma y siento que hay un gran motivo para que todos y todas seamos tan diferentes…

Verás, nadie quiere a una persona representando un papel de alguien perfecto y que no se muestre como es de verdad porque no inspira confianza…

Por ello, te invito a que seas auténtica y no te compares con nadie, ni sobre tus cualidades, ni sobre tus capacidades, ni sobre tu físico, ni sobre el ritmo al que evolucionas, ni al ritmo que vas consiguiendo tus objetivos, o en tu negocio, o en tus estudios, ni tampoco compares tu relación de pareja o el éxito que creas que tienes con los hombres, tu relación con tus hijos, si sales más o menos, si tienes más cosas materiales o menos…

Somos todos diferentes y no necesitamos las mismas cosas para ser felices, no llevamos el mismo estilo de vida, no tenemos los mismos valores, ni las mismas prioridades, así que lo único que importa es que todas esas cosas estén alineadas contigo, con tus valores, tu forma de ser y con lo que a ti te hace feliz…

No te preocupes por lo que enseñen los demás en redes sociales o lo que cuenten… Créeme, no siempre es verdad…Incluso las personas más famosas y más ricas tienen problemas, así que lo único que de verdad importa es tu vida, tus relaciones y tu felicidad…

No todo el mundo necesita una mansión y un Lamborgini para ser feliz, así que date permiso para querer lo que quieres sin necesidad de dar explicaciones o que la gente esté de acuerdo…

Eso sí, no uses eso como excusa para conformarte y no ir a por tus sueños, porque eso te hará muy infeliz…

Reflexiona sobre la vida que quieres en todas las áreas de tu vida y crea hábitos que te lleven hacia ellos, paso a paso, día a día… Haz algo cada día que te acerque a esa vida que quieres conseguir y conviértete en la persona que necesitas convertirte para conseguirlo…

Nadie puede ser feliz por ti, así que sal ahí fuera y brilla… Y si alguien intenta apagar tu luz, brilla más fuerte y que se pongan gafas de sol…

Gracias

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THRIVING ADMIST MULTIPLE DEMANDING ROLES: HELPFUL TIPS FOR WOMEN

By: Chinenye Ajayi NIGERIA

“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and, above all, confidence in ourselves. We must believe we are gifted for something and that this thing must be attained. ” – Marie Curie

Growing up, I never heard the term “work life balance” and as every young lady, I dreamt of building a successful career whilst having a great home (husband and kids). There was little or no understanding of what these aspirations would require of me let alone being prepared for them. One thing was certain though- I had big dreams, and was ready to explore the world with so much enthusiasm.

Like one would burst a bubble, I recall a colleague speaking to me during our final weeks at the law school. According to him, I could not rise through the ranks in my career, and maintain a good relationship with my husband and kids at the same time. In his words, “I can’t eat my cake and have it” . Somehow, that word stuck and I began to tread carefully and to cut down any aspiration that seemed too high. As I would later understand, my colleague’s position stemmed out of gender stereotyping- the identification of a woman with the characteristics of weakness. Clearly, gender stereotyping has become one of the most prominent obstacles to womens’ access to leadership positions, since women are generally regarded as mentally weak, emotional, irrational, and incapable of coping with difficulties.

For my first job, I was advised to opt for a “small” role to give me time for family, and that I did. Whilst I could leave the office at 5pm and get home on time to be with family, I felt very unfulfilled. The desire to grow, to stretch outside my comfort and to do something more challenging overwhelmed me.

The reality set in when changed jobs and joined a law firm which was not only tasking, but time consuming with very steep deadlines. This next phase brought with it guilty pangs because I felt I was not doing enough. I blamed myself for anything that went wrong, and I struggled to, as much as possible give equal time for my multiple roles, and when I am unable to make it, I slip in and out of depression.

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The above is one of the main reasons why women do not receive leadership positions given the difficulty associated with reconciling career, household chores and caring for themselves. As such, many women succumb under the pressure to lay aside their ambition of occupying leadership positions or expanding their businesses.

For me, change happened when I had a mindset shift. As a starting point, there is no such thing as ‘perfect work life balance’ in a very strict sense. It is never possible to give equal separate time to different aspects of your life as a woman. The more you try, the more you find out that it is impracticable. Below are few tips that helped me find my feet:

i. Stop trying to create a perfect balance, integrate your multiple roles instead. Whilst you are cooking, you can send that email to a client or complete the project design. Whilst you are preparing the home budget, you can help the kids with their school work.

ii. Get support. There is no benefit in trying to be a super woman at the detriment of your mental and physical health. Get help to assist with any aspect of your life that can be delegated (e.g. getting groceries from a store), while you focus on things that cannot be delegated (e.g. time with your spouse).

iii. Communicate/speak up. When you are getting overwhelmed, speak to your employer, spouse, sibling or whoever is involved to cut you some slack. Do not die in silence. Take a break off work if you need to or skip attending that school event if you really need to, it does not make you a bad mum.

iv. Never settle for less. Go all out for your dreams, aim for the top and put in what it takes.

v. Focus on self-development, learn new skills on how to make work or home easier, and get mentorship/guidance from other successful women who are thriving.

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Applying these principles with God’s help will enable every woman live a stress-free life. Granted, there are extremely tough times, however, there would be no pressure to prove a point or to be what you are not, and more importantly, you need not be subject to guilty pangs and associated depression for being inadequate.

In closing,

“Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and brave enough to ask for it. ” – Ziad K. Abdelnour

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IFEOMA CHUKS-ADIZUE, NIGERIA

Ifeoma is a seasoned professional with a rare mix of experience in Brand Management, Sales, Media and over 16 years’ experience building brands across Africa.

Iphie is the Executive Director Commercial at CAP PLC, makers of Dulux Paint where she is currently leading the Sales and Marketing teams to deliver business growth. She is wildly passionate about people development and living a life of purpose that makes God proud.

In 2012, in addition to her full-time job, Iphie co-founded Deluxe Childbirth Services, a business focused on reducing the maternal mortality rate in Nigeria by helping expectant parents give birth abroad. Iphie Chuks-Adizue is the author of two books – The Uncommon Woman and Made for More; and is Founding president of the Uncommon Woman Movement where she inspires and teaches career women how to purposefully and profitably birth the MORE in them even with their full-time jobs…without losing the things that matter like their homes or sanity.

Iphie is a wife and mom of three children; and a Board Director on the board of CAP PLC and FINCA Microfinance bank.

She is the recipient of several awards, the most recent being the Exceptional Leader of Excellence Award from the Global Women Economic Forum.

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MARILYN MARTINEZ

SPAIN

Marilyn Martínez Pérez is a polifacetic mother of three children with more than 15 years of experience in the Luxury Property Market in Costa Blanca. Also as one of her biggest passions she has been more than 12 years researching and studying personal development, spiritual growth, coaching, relationships and several emotional balance therapis in a very intensive way.

She is a Coach, a Reiki Master, A High Impact Mentor and a writer. She has written two books at the moment : "Ten mistakes we women make looking for love" and "Secrets to conquer a woman" as well as the author of an online course "Reconnecting with your masculine and femenine essence"

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CHINENYE AJAYI

NIGERIA

Chinenye is a versatile commercial lawyer and works as solicitor in the Power & Infrastructure team at Olaniwun Ajayi LP (OALP), a leading law firm in Nigeria where she provides legal and business advisory services to clients within the energy sector, particularly in the renewable energy space.

In line with passion for the energy sector, She founded Solfa Power Limited, a company set up to bridge the energy gap in Africa by providing clean, affordable, and innovative energy solutions that ensures reliable power supply to individuals, small businesses and larger organizations across various sectors.

Presently, Chinenye is the United Nations Representative of Ariel Foundation International to Geneva, where makes presentations on topical issues bothering on youth, political and economic development.

She is also involved in education, training, mentorship and economic empowerment towards promoting affordable energy access and energy security through several volunteer positions with the African Fellowship of Young Energy Leaders(AFYEL) and ReEnergy Africa.

Chinenye is a wife and a mom of 3 kids. She loves working with individuals to discover their true potentials whilst fulfilling their God-given purposes.

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JIAN YU

CHINA

Jian Yu mother of two children. Graduated from university in 1995, started a business in 1998, established a company to engage in the building materials industry, and participated in the construction of infrastructure and real estate projects in Suzhou.

I used to be a volunteer of the Compassion Relief Tzu Chi Foundation.In conjunction with a number of professional psychological counselors and positive management teachers, we have held a number of public welfare lectures on positive discipline and personal growth for women. Run the first mahogany wood art studio in Suzhou because of personal hobbies. Lived in Spain in 2019.

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DR. ARIEL ROSITA KING, MPH, MBA, PHD (UK), DTM&H, PHD (FRANCE)

AFI Founder and President

Dr. Ariella (Ariel) Rosita King (www.drarielking.com) founded The Ariel Foundation International (www.arielfoundation.org) in 2002 as a non-profit organization with an international focus on children and youth inspired leadership and participation worldwide.

Dr. Ariel King is a Rotarian for over 20 years. She is the Main Representative at the United Nations (Geneva, New York and Vienna ) for AFI, with Special Economic, Cultural and Social Council Special (ECOSO). She has also represented other NGOs in Geneva since 2008, the United Nations in Vienna (UNOV) since 2010 and United Nations in New York since 2000.

Dr. King is also an NGO Representative at the European Parliament. Dr. King’s life focus is on inspiring leadership and participation of worlds’ children and youth. Ariel Foundation International is a member of EuroChild, Dr. King was a Trustee for Children’s Rights Alliance England (CRAE), Now Just for Law Kids, and the Acid Survivors Trust International (ASTI) United Kingdom.

Dr King is also the Founder (2000), and President Ariel Consulting International, Inc., that creates and enhances Public-Private Partnerships in international diplomacy and policy. She has over 35 years of experience in international public policy and international management in government, business and NGOs. As a Professor in International Health, Management, Policy and Environment she has taught at Universities in the USA, Europe and Africa. Dr. King has published on the topics of Kangaroo Newborn Baby Care, International Health Policy and Management, Medical Ethics, Organ Transplantation, National Essential Drugs Policy, HIV/AIDS; Breast Cancer; Violence Against Women; Youth Participation at the United Nations and Children’s Human Rights.

Dr. King completed a second research degree (PhD) in Sociology on Community Engagement in the Psychosocial Care of Their Traumatised Children – A Case Study of Botswana, Liberia and Morocco at the Unitersité de Franche-Comte, France (December 2018). She also has completed advance certificates in the study of Children’s Human Rights, from the UER Droits de l'enfant/Children's Rights Unit, Institut Universitaire Kurt Bösch (IUKB) in Switzerland. Dr. King holds a Diploma Tropical Medicine and Hygiene (DTM&H); Doctorate (PhD) in Philosophy in Public Health and Policy from the London School of Hygiene & Tropical Medicine, University of London; a Master in International Health Management (MIM) from Thunderbird School of Global Management; Master in Public Health (MPH) in international Health from the University of Texas School of Public Health; and a Bachelor of Arts (BA) from the University of Hawaii at Manoa.

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