A SURVIVAL GUIDE
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We developed Twenty-one to help women go after their dreams and develop a real action plan to move forward in pursing their goals. We believe the best path to achieve this is to be vulnerable, brave, and honest. Twenty-one is an exercise in selfdetermination and perseverance. We believe in you.
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Creators of Twenty-one
Hannah Bouscher-Gage
Ari Takata-Vasquez
Hannah was inspired to create the 21 workbook after having numerous conversations with friends and family who felt stuck in their careers. One after one, friends told her of the fears they had about the future and their desires to take a different direction but not knowing how to overcome feelings of “not being good enough” or having imposture syndrome. Having experienced all of these things herself, Hannah began documenting the proactive strategies she was using to overcome her own anxiety and depression. 21 is the culmination of strategies used by both Hannah and Ari and they hope others find them useful when trying to decide what they want and how they want to accomplish it. In her free time, Hannah enjoys walking around Lake Merritt with her girlfriend, going on weekend camping adventures, and finding the best venues in the bay.
Ari founded a brick and mortar shop in Downtown Oakland in 2014. After feeling overwhelmed with her business and striving to find balance, Ari has developed tools to recenter and create calm. She has struggled with finding her identity apart from her business as well as a fear of failure. After getting to know many of the other local entrepreneurs in her neighborhood, she realized they were all feeling the same sense of doubt and frustration. Ari has used journaling as a means to cope with these emotions. She journals daily as a means of self-reflection and development. She’s used many of tools in 21 to deal with her own struggles with inadequacy and worry and hopes these methods can help others to pursue their goals without sacrificing balance in their lives. When she’s not running her business, Ari enjoys playing with her two rescue pit bulls Charlie and Lola.
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DEAR FRIEND, We’ve all been there. The little voice in our head telling us we’re not good enough, that our ideas don’t matter and that we can’t do it. This workbook is the result of finding myself listening to that voice. Frozen at my desk or hiding under the covers thinking, “maybe I really can’t do it.” As someone who copes by finding a solution (or at least trying to), I started making lists when I found myself frozen. Lists for what I was thankful for, lists for what I was feeling anxious about, lists for what I wanted to accomplish, and lists for the steps I needed to take to change my situation. I began using these lists to develop habits and strategies that have helped put an end to the negative feedback loop I was stuck in and begin circulating positive instead. Starting with my most basic needs and working my way up to more complex ones, I have used these strategies to pull myself out of my own head many times. I hope that they are helpful to you in moments where you are feeling stuck and are something you can use to accomplish anything you set your mind to. Things you will need: Time (As much as you need but at least 45 min.) A space where you can think without any outside distractions Notebook Writing Utensil(s) I look forward to seeing what you accomplish.
Yours, Hannah B.
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A CLEAN SLATE TWENTY ONE
Anxiety and stress is not just “in your head”, it can often present with real physiological responses. When you feel yourself getting overwhelmed or on the verge of panic, this exercise can help you to reset. It’s just one tool to keep in your toolbox of ways to not only survive, but thrive. You can do this exercise in your head, there’s no need to write it down. 1. Look around you and list 5 things you see. Really focus on each thing as you count off your five items. 2. List 4 things that you feel, it can be your shoes on your feet, a breeze from a window, an article of clothing on your body-anything you feel. 3. Listen for a moment. What do you hear? Count down three things you hear in your environment. 4. Take a deep breath through your nose, what do you smell? Name two scents you detect. 5. Finally, say one good thing about yourself. Even on your lowest day, find a way to say something nice about yourself. If at anytime while you’re completing the workbook and feel overwhelmed, return to this page and practice this exercise.
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Today, just might be the day that everything changes.
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How to Use This Workbook
The purpose of this workbook is to give you the opportunity to accomplish two things: • Acknowledge and deal with the anxiety and negative emotions that are stopping you from accomplishing your goals • Develop an action plan to overcome the fear and start taking action This is a workbook by nature so you can write in it, scribble, or draw in it. You can even burn it when you’re all done if need be as long as it is for YOU. Most importantly, this is your time. If you fully commit to giving this time to yourself, this workbook provides the tools and strategies to develop balance in your life and a plan for achieving your goals. If you don’t, then you throw this in the trash and never think about it again. What do you have to lose other than more time you’re not spending working towards accomplishing your “it”? So breathe, think, write, and breathe some more.
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“Nothing in life is to be feared, it is only to be understood. Now is the time to understand more, so that we may fear less.� -Marie Curie
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LET’S BEGIN TWENTY ONE
What Would You Do If You Knew You Couldn’t Fail?
Insecurities are always going to be there. Reasons, excuses and people telling you that you can’t do whatever it is you know you are meant to do. You deserve to take a break from these outside forces and ask yourself, “What would I do if I knew I couldn’t fail?” Take 10-20 minutes (or as long as you need) to set aside all the reasons you “can’t” do that thing you are passionate about and write down what your perfect outcome looks like. Don’t let insecurities or reasons why you can’t do it stop you. We’ll worry about those after. What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail and nothing was stopping you?
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What would you do if you knew you couldn’t fail and nothing was stopping you? TWENTY ONE
Let The Vision Become Real Good job! Now take a couple minutes to really envision what your perfect outcome looks and feels like. What are you doing? Who is there with you? What is different? What is the same? Are there certain colors that you see? Places? Close your eyes and take a minimum of 5 intentional breathes while you think about this vision. Again, don’t worry about the things that are stopping this from happening just yet. Just focus on the vision.
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Just focus on the vision.
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What Is Stopping You?
Okay, now that the vision is there, we are going to let those insecurities, barriers and fears come back into the picture. In the space below, write down all of the reasons that you don’t feel like you can make this vision a reality. Don’t worry about the anxiety that will come as you do this. It’s a natural and important part of the process. Let it flow through you onto the pages but don’t hang onto it. What is stopping you from making your vision a reality?
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What is stopping you from making your vision a reality?
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Identify The Low Hanging Fruit.
Now, let’s organize the barriers you listed in order of difficulty. Put the most difficult challenge at the bottom of the page and the “easiest” challenge at the top of the page. For example, things like “I’m in debt and need to pay my bills” can go towards the bottom of the page while “I just don’t think I’m the right person for the job” can go towards the top.
Go!
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Least Difficult
More Difficult
Most Difficult
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One Step At A Time.
What would it take to overcome your least difficult barrier? Write down what you would need to do to turn that barrier into a brick in your path forward. If part of that barrier is not knowing something or someone, write that down too. Anything goes!
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Anything Goes.
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Rule of Three.
Look at your barriers again (Just the ones you wrote down on the previous page). What would it take to overcome them? Could it be as simple as remembering to eat breakfast in the morning to maintain energy throughout the day or more complex like facing deep insecurities about yourself? Let’s begin to tackle them by dividing the barriers you are facing by their type.
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Basic
air, food, drink, shelter, warmth, sex, sleep, order, stability, freedom from fear
Psychological
Being part of a group (family, friends, work) that you can safely give and receive love from, feeling accomplished, learning new things, being independent, respect from others.
Self-Fulfillment
Overcoming insecurities, being comfortable with uncertainty, creative freedom, willingness and ability to be vulnerable and honest with others.
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TWENTY ONE.
Since it takes 21 days to change a habit, we are now going to build a 21 day plan for overcoming these barriers. That might not seem like a long time but it’s amazing how much can change in 21 minutes, even 21 seconds, let alone 21 days. Since we are going to be working towards overcoming something big, we are going to start with the easy stuff first, basic needs, take on a more difficult challenge. Think of each week as a goal and the tasks to complete as your objectives. Here is an example: Week 1 Goal: This week I will take care of my basic needs 1 I will set my alarm to 6:25 in order to get out of bed by 6:30 2 I will drink a glass of water 1st thing each morning 3 I will eat 3 meals/day 4 I will write 5 things I am thankful for and my to-do’s in the morning 5 I will put my phone and computer away one hour before bed and spend time reading 6 I will spend 30-minutes cleaning my room on Sunday 7 I will spend 20 minutes/day exercising
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Week 1: Taking Care of Basic Needs 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
Remember that you already wrote down what barriers you need to overcome in step 6. We are simply organizing them. Don’t lose sight that each individual objective and each individual week is leading up to overcoming your first big barrier that you listed in step 4. If you can’t think of 7 things to accomplish. That is okay. The point is simply that you do them, however many that is for you. Also, arrange them in order of importance so that if you are having a particularly difficult day, you can focus on knocking out the easier/most important goals first. Take 2 minutes and write down your goals...
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Week 2: Connecting With Yourself & Others 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
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Week 3: Getting To The Heart Of The Matter 1 2 3 4 5 6 7
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SMART Goals
Now it’s time to make your goals achievable. If they aren’t already, add the details that make each of your goals a SMART goal. Here is what creating a SMART goal requires: • Specific (simple, sensible, significant). • Measurable (meaningful, motivational). • Achievable (agreed-upon, attainable). • Relevant (reasonable, realistic and resourced, results-based). • Time bound (time-based, time limited, time/cost limited, timely, time-sensitive). Here is how to turn your goals into SMART goals using the previous example: Starting June 15th, 1 In order to get up earlier, I will set my alarm to 6:25 in order to get out of bed by 6:30 I will set my alarm one hour before bed every night to 6:25 and get out of bed by 6:30 2 I will drink a glass of water 1st thing each morning I will put a glass by my bed that I will fill and drink each morning to kickstart my metabolism 3 I will eat 3 meals/day I will eat breakfast by 9AM, lunch by 1 PM and dinner by 6PM with a snack in between lunch and dinner. 4 I will write 5 things I am thankful for and my to-do’s in the morning I will keep my journal and notebook by my bed and write 5 things I am thankful for and to-do’s for the day before I get out of bed. 5 I will put my phone and computer away one hour before bed and spend time reading a book 6 I will spend 30-minutes cleaning my room on Sunday, June 17th I will clean my room on Sunday from 10:30-11AM 7 I will spend 20 minutes/day exercising After drinking my glass of water, I will find a yoga youtube video and spend 20 minutes doing yoga in the morning.
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Reference your “Rule of 3” and rewrite your SMART goals
Basic
Psychological
Self-Fulfillment
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Now that you have organized everything you need to accomplish into three weeks, write down what you are going to do everyday to accomplish them. Don't’ forget to include time to celebrate your success for the week! Here is a planner:
WEEK 1 Sunday
WEEK 2 Sunday
WEEK 3 Sunday
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This week my objective is: I am doing this in order to accomplish my larger goal of:
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
This week my objective is: I am doing this in order to accomplish my larger goal of:
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
This week my objective is: I am doing this in order to accomplish my larger goal of:
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Organize! Thursday
Friday
Saturday
Notes
Saturday
Notes
Saturday
Notes
I will celebrate by success by:
Thursday
Friday
I will celebrate by success by:
Thursday
Friday
I will celebrate by success by:
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Just Do It
And there you have it. A plan to start overcoming the barriers to accomplishing the vision you have for your life.
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“Everyone has inside of [her] a
piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!” -Anne Frank
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Twenty-One Hannah Boucher & Ari Takata-Vasquez