Swipe Right: Finding Love… Or Not writing A R I E L A B A S S O N artwork K A R A L E N A D A V I S
I
was a sophomore in high school when I first heard about Tinder. I remember immediately being taken aback and baffled by theidea of being able to just swipe past the faces of strangers so quickly and begin talking to them without any context. Flash forward four years, and the once foreign concept of rapidly swiping on Tinder has become part of my daily routine.
Apps such as Tinder and Bumble have truly taken over the dating scene for young adults, creating a massive shift in dating culture. Ask anyone and it’s likely that by now, they’ll have some sort of interesting Tinder story, whether it be a first hand experience or one from their friends’. It should be noted that not everyone uses these apps with the same goal in mind: personally, I’ve heard a wide range of Tinder stories, ones where meetups end in casual hookups, and others where actual lasting relationships are formed. To bring to light the way that our campus in particular uses these platforms, I sent out a free response survey to Wash U students. “For casual dating,” one student wrote when asked why they use dating apps. “Just for fun,” said another. Others claimed that their engagement was limited to “something to do when I’m bored,” or “satisfying curiosity.” Some of the less light hearted answers seemed to suggest that some students may use dating apps to aid insecurities: “[I use them for] mainly just reassurance that I’m not ugly? I’ve gone on Tinder dates, but the main reward is when you match with a hot person,” one said. “[I use them for] self assurance that people find me attractive. I don’t really swipe looking for a relationship, but for someone to talk to,” another admitted. This jumped out at me. These more self conscious answers reveal participants using dating apps to search for external validation and that they may be satisfied merely by a mutual “match,” not by an actual meetup or relationship.
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These answers really resonated with me. I often feel that by using Tinder, I can get a better gage for how others view me online and in real life while conveniently staying hidden behind my phone, maintaining a level of detachment and comfort. After all, “meeting” someone online as opposed to in person is so much easier as there are fewer stakes attached. Despite the swiping I now do on a daily basis, I, like many others, have felt too self conscious to actually met up with somebody from an app. After some reflection, I find myself wondering if those small moments of feeding my ego with matches really makes a positive impact on my overall sense of self-worth. Reliance on the superficial affirmations that these apps provide, can create a churning cycle of stigma and fear, fueled by a search for reassurance, and lack of confidence. According to the Studlife 2017 Sex Survey, 54% of Wash U students answered that they use dating apps, a clear stat that shows these apps have become part of the Wash U mainstream. If nothing else, dating apps can provide us with a sense of control over our romantic lives, or lack of them. For better or for worse, the commitment levels are low and you can delete a match and move on whenever you please.
