Fostering Change: Post-Adoption Support

BY CHARLICE BYRD

Two of the most commonly reported deficiencies in adopting a child from foster care are the lack of transparency from the Division of Family & Children Services (DFCS) to the adoptive family and the shortage of post-adoption support. It often is difficult for the adoptive family to know how to help without knowing what the child has been exposed to.

Often, childhood issues begin to manifest in a child when he or she begins school. If the child already is school-aged, it is important to ensure that any learning limitations are identified, by communicating often with school officials. If the child has not started school, being attentive and proactive to how a child is adjusting to school is critical.

Mother’s Day and Father’s Day often present unique challenges when children are unsure of how to respond to assignments or discussions without peer criticism. Other academic assignments that require children to write and present family dynamics can result in anxiety. Adoptive parents should communicate with school officials when these assignments are required, to ensure the child has ample support from home. It’s important to be familiar with mandatory reading assignments and use it as a time to have conversations with children.

Adoptive families are allowed to review DFCS files prior to adoption. This is a good time to read and understand what life was like prior to adoption. Look for any diagnosis that has been identified, and ask for a copy of documents that might help get support services quickly, such as an individualized education program (IEP) or 504 plan.

Participating in social circles is a great way to meet other families who have adopted and build a strong network of friends and family who can provide the necessary support along the way. Often, families adopt and don’t realize that trauma from prior years might surface due to an unknown trigger. Pay attention to verbal and nonverbal cues, and ensure that the child has the opportunity to talk without judgment about feelings and expectations. Children can feel disloyal to their birth parents, post-adoption. Knowing this, and allowing children to talk about their prior experiences, gives them a path to healing.

Adoption is a wonderful way to give children in foster care a forever home. Be aware that challenges along the way can be minimized with open communication, a strong support system and an understanding that healing takes time.