Art Department Weekly | Issue 89 Vol. 12

ADW art department weekly issue 89 Vol. 12

Dream Team

Who can save us from disaster?

mInI boArD fAucI sAves “If he came in, I’d give him something with coconut water, electrolytes—gotta keep him hydrated. The man works like crazy,” Rohit Malhotra of Capo Italian Deli told DC’s Channel 4. ReporterTom McFly did not reach out to Dr. Fauci for comment: “Gotta keep his eye on the ball.” McFly reported the “sale of these has in part kept staff enployed.” People come in for a sandwich and leave with a cocktail. —MV

upGrADes In the tIme of coronA I’m happy with CS6 on Capitan. I have really old tech and for the most part it works just fine. Once in a while InDesign will throw a tantrum and I have restart the whole desktop, but the laptop is fine. Or it was. Until Adobe said I had 10 days to upgrade or they would delete all of my software.

segye.com

After some digging, I learned Adobe does not think I’m a bad person, but my incomplete CS6 probably has a blacklisted serial number. More importantly, I learned I can afford the complete Cloud. Hours of downloads later, CC doesn’t work on Capitan. Fine. But I’m paying for the whole cloud, so I should upgrade and use the whole cloud. Catalina is the only OS upgrade? Fine. Catalina it is.

Two days of crashes later, I was sure I broke my laptop. Apple Care happily sent me a link to downgrade to Mojave because CC also doesn’t work on Catalina. They said it was super customer friendly. N. B. D. I even told Luis to text that to an old teammate he’d reached out. The minute I finished downloading Mojave’s install package, I told him to text Eastman again to see if we could call him.

Of all the hours I spent downloading and installing the previous three days, those three hours were the fastest because Eastman said we had it. And eventually, we did.

Topics covered in a 3-hour call Remote learning Ad revenue Who might not rent the 9th floor Instructions for how to drag a file using a shitty touchpad Guessing the date and time to reset the computer to in Terminal Tiger King

2 hours 21 minutes 17 seconds... Waiting for Mojave to finish installing.

Art Department Weekly is published by Dinosaur Girly Productions, 184 Bay 26th Street, Brooklyn, NY 11214. The entire contents of ADW are protected by copyright and may not be reproduced without expressed written consent of the publisher. ADW accepts no responsibility for unsolicited manuscripts and/or photographs and assumes no liability for products or services advertised herein. ADW reserves the right to edit, rewrite, refuse or reuse material, is not responsible for errors or omissions, and may feature same in other mediums for any and all purporses.

D r A he

Why so much?

We ordered chicken strips at Popeye’s and they didn’t just give us ketchup—they gave us all the ketchup. I don’t want a thousand packets of ketchup. Betty suddenly decided that night that she would rip open a packet and dip chicken strips in ketchup, but you know what? I already have a giant bottle of ketchup.

What I don’t have enough of is Blackened Ranch cups. Give me a box of those.

busIness of help When the CEO of Walmart appeared on TODAY and said the economy can’t come back without cooperation between big businesses and small businesses, I believed for a second that they were going to do something that would actually profit the little guys... Walmart might show them how to use vinyls on their floors and hire more people to disinfect stores.

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Drive around upright

aPril

Slump over at desk

“How is there testing for housecats but not for people?”

-madeline

“Oh, you’re gonna watch that—your mildly funny adult comedy?”

-kal

“I have to social distance myself from my fridge” -stephen

“Can you hang on one second?”

“Maybe I should get off Citizen App” -dave

“No sandwich making on the beaches”

March

Hunch over phone

I

-luis

becomInG A hunchbAcK february

t r A n

r e v o

-alice

May

Go for walk

“The TV is like a giant phone” -betty

—MV

“I feel like all I do is eat candy and not move”

April 21, 2020 • Art

-tori

Department Weekly 3

I Did this, too!

With freezing temperatures still blowing through Brooklyn in April, I didn’t want to plant seeds outside to die. I also didn’t want to set up containers for the cats to knock off windowsills. I needed shelves.

The first one I found online that seemed like a good idea was a plank suspended by ropes hooked to the wall. It seemed cute and simple and like I could make it myself. That design wasn’t going to work at all in the kitchen, but as I stood around in Home Depot I realized I could use Command hooks to suspend dual level spice racks. (I also bought rope and a lightweight plank for the living room window, but that’s ugly so no picture.)

Cress, chia, and grass seeds sprouted so far. No sunflowers or lavender yet. —MV

i Did it!

The first link to instructions for mask making might have shown up in my social media feeds in February. I feel like I’ve put off making masks for months.

Kal kept saying he wanted to sew, but I wasn’t ready to start making masks with the intent to donate in early March.

Then remote schooling started and it seemed more obvious that essential workers needed real masks, not my old shirts in the shape of masks. I put off making any masks until mid-April.

For the longest time, Luis walked around with a bandana. He didn’t want to fold it up with elastic to strap to his ears. Something about Project Runway winner Geoffery’s tutorial was so accessible. I started with the checks. —MV

The Home Depot line looped around the parking lot on a Friday morning

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Art Department Weekly • April 21, 2020

socIAl DIstAncInG In sonG Scrolling through Twitter, I ran across a post of Top 10 Coronavirus songs. This got the ball rolling in my head to create a Top 16 bracket of the best Quarantine/Social Distancing songs. Usually I print the brackets and have everyone in the office fill them in (see “Who Was the Best President?” in our Feb. 25 issue). In our socially distant times, though, the voting part is more challenging. My solution was to send the bracket to the whole team via our Slack channel but also put the individual pairings up against each other in rounds on my Instagram story.

Winner

2nd place

While our overall winner (“Don’t Stand So Close To Me” by the Police) wasn’t shocking, I was surprised by the overall strong performances of “U Can’t Touch This,” “Since U Been Gone,” and “Waiting on the World To Change.” If you’d like to listen to the playlist, use the search tool in Spotify and point your phone camera at the barcode. The playlist should pop right up.

—MV

3rd place

4th place

First round exit

April 21, 2020 • Art

Department Weekly

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G.I. Joe Quaranteam

by Luis Vega As I chatted with my good friend Jase about Hasbro putting the first 15 episodes of the original G.I. Joe TV series on YouTube, we guessed that Dr. Mindbender and Cobra Commander would definitely be trying to take advantage of the current situation.

Obviously the Joes would have to respond in kind. Here is the team we came up with...

(More from the file cards on Page 8.)

Code Name:

Code Name:

flint Warrant Officer

snake eyes Commando

Primary Specialty: Infantry Secondary Specialty: Helicopter Pilot

Primary Specialty: Infantry Secondary Specialty: Hand-to-Hand Combat Instructor

Code Name:

doc Warrant Officer Primary Specialty: Medical Doctor Secondary Specialty: Chaplain’s Assistant

Code Name:

Mainframe Computer Specialist Primary Specialty: Computer Technology Secondary Specialty: Infantry

Code Name:

lifeline Rescue Trooper Primary Specialty: Medic

Code Name:

Lifeline Rescue Trooper Primary Specialty: Medic Secondary Specialty: Rescue Operations

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Art Department Weekly • April 21, 2020

Code Name:

Outback Survivalist Code Name:

Primary Specialty: Infantry Secondary Specialty: Survival Training Instructor

Airtight Hostile Environment Primary Specialty: CBR (Chemical, Biological, Radiological Warfare) Secondary Specialty: Ordnance

Code Name:

barbecue Fire Fighter Primary Specialty: Fireman Secondary Specialty: Infantry

Code Name:

Roadblock Heavy Machine Gunner Primary Specialty: Heavy Weapons Secondary Specialty: Cook

Code Name: Code Name:

Dial-tone Communications Primary Specialty: Radio Telecommunications Secondary Specialty: Infantry

lady jaye Covert Operations Primary Specialty: Intelligence Secondary Specialty: Personnel clerk

April 21, 2020 • Art

Department Weekly

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custom build I made a BrickHeadz of Delta, a character from the show Beyblade Burst Rise, and his bey, Venom Devolos (or Diablos for TT). On the show, the bey’s bottom can split in half to make a powerful counter attack.

Here, it’s two studs. I wanted to make this BrickHeadz because a) I like building them and b) I want to make cool poses and battle scenes.

My dad gave me the printed instructions for the Chewbacca BrickHeadz.

I used it to copy the dimensions and shapes.

More custom BrickHeadz coming soon!

—KV

field medic

As a child of the ’80s, I was obviously obsessed with G.I. Joes. My family was of very modest means, so the cheaper G.I. Joes (generally between $2 and $4 for a single figure) were much easier for me to collect. As they were my favorite playthings and not sturdily made, it was very easy for the Joes to break. It took me years to realize that by removing the screw in the back and replacing the O-ring that attaches the body pieces together, you could easily and cheaply repair figures. I like the #8 or #9 O-rings, generally about $2.99/10 pack at Home Depot.

As an adult (and still a Joe collector) I like to think I’ve improved upon what I learned. I highly recommend a 21-piece 3-volt cordless precision screwdriver set (about$13). It has all the tiny heads you’ll need to quickly remove the Joe’s screw.

Once removed, separate the torso and remove the damaged O-ring. Make sure to remove any leftover O-ring from the leg hook piece. Now the hardest part for me (I have big hands) is snaking the O-ring through the crotch piece after you’ve hooked it through the legs. Once snaked through, I like to attach the O-ring to the back half of the torso. Then add the front of the torso. Lastly, I add back in the arms and heads, being careful to not let the torso fall apart. Once all the apendages are in, you flip it around and screw it back together. All in all, the process should take about 5 minutes.

Now Doc and Lifeline won’t be the only Joe lifesavers.

—LV

Quaranteam cont.

The mission leaders would be Outback (the ultimate survivalist) and Airtight (the hostile environmental specialist (“Kurt was the kid who could hold his breath the longest”)). Airtight’s knowledge of airborne viruses and weaponry would ultimately be key in Cobra’s defeat. Doc and Lifeline would be on the front lines, building field hospitals and making sure the team stays healthy.

Madeline asked, “Why did you let me keep two in this picture?” I said, “They are vastly different. We need more doctors! If I had another Lifeline, I would add in a third Lifeline.”

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Art Department Weekly • April 21, 2020

Dial-Tone and Mainframe would be the communications experts. The rest of the team would be filled with Roadblock (“an army recruiter convinced him the army could train him to be a chef”), Flint (a Rhodes Scholar), Lady Jaye (“Cloaked and sandaled, she can squat down with a basket of oranges in any Middle Eastern marketplace and blend in perfectly”), and Snake Eyes (trained in “mountaineering, underwater demolitions, jungle, desert, and arctic survival” on his file card).

With the assembled team, it would be a matter of time before both the virus and Cobra were defeated.

—LV

head transplants Betty is a menace. The first time we played Barbies, she brushed my doll’s hair and ripped the head off.

I’d bought the doll as a prop. The doll wasn’t that old. She’d never been played with. Betty took one swipe and ripped off the doll’s head... I get that wings are obnoxious and Monster High doll’s heads are comically big, but I don’t know what happened to the boys. I’m not even sure why Clawdeen’s neck is so violently snapped in the apparent attempt to take off the G.I. Joe’s shirt... I gave Troy Bolton a new body, but no one will ever really be the same. —MV

April 21, 2020 • Art

Department Weekly

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betty school Prior to work from home being enacted, my daily time with Betty was limited to rushing to get her up in the morning, feed her, dress her, get out the door, and then rush her off to bed on the nights Kal’s track practices didn’t keep me from being there for the nighttime routine.

As we settled into the new temporary normal with Kal doing remote learning on his Chromebook and Boom completing math problems Madeline transferred into his notebook, Betty parked herself next to me in the office. The first few days I simply shouted things out for her to draw and color. Then we started on a new routine.

I wake the kids up at 7 a.m., make sure they eat breakfast, and then get dressed for the day. Once they are dressed, I usher them down to the basement to play. At 8:50 a.m., the kids come up to wait in the hallway before entering “school.” While the kids are downstairs playing, I start creating little lessons for Betty based on one letter of the alphabet. I write the letter and then draw lines for her to duplicate the letter as handwriting practice. Then I draw a series of pictures for her to color but also lable the pictures so she can recognize the letters and circle them. Most days Betty likes to storm through the handwriting,

coloring, and identification of the letter of the day so she can get her hands on the iPad or a phone.

Of late, we’ve added in a number of old PreK and Kindergarten workbooks that none of her siblings completed before. After she does the work I’ve drawn for her, she works through a few pages in the workbooks. Another new addition to the routine has been ABC Mouse. We signed Betty up after her school sent their membership link, and it has been an absolute godsend. Betty thoroughly enjoys playing and learning on ABC Mouse.

While a lot of work, creating little lessons and pieces of art for Betty has been one of the highlights of working from home. Betty sits right next to me daily and finshes her work while I plow through all my daily work deliverables. I feel like I’m helping Betty learn, but more importantly bonding with her because we spend so much time together. While it can be cramped, it’s been a blast.

—LV

All Around Fun Betty choreographs her own Zumba,

draws a flower for her district teacher, “V” is for Vega, Crazy Hat spirit day, shared desk space, Zoom with classmates, the typical school day, the “U” lesson waiting for Betty, plants drawn by Boom and Betty after observing plants outside.

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Art Department Weekly • April 21, 2020

April 21, 2020 • Art

Department Weekly

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five things boom made since the last issue

microbots YouTube was inspired to make Lego versions of Transformers. These are dino bots that really do transform

Paper airplanes After making several normal size planes, he folded this tiny version

custom Brickheadz Code name: Brickbee/ Cutebee Code name: Brickamus Prime/Cute-imus Prime

sform!

They tran

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seedlings He’s so invested in his seeds, he wrote a story about kittens planting seeds

Art Department Weekly • April 21, 2020

Stop motion movie With the help of the whole family, he shot the movie—and then used it for a homework assignment