Mini Board

Fauci Saves

“If he came in, I’d give him something with coconut water, electrolytes—gotta keep him hydrated. The man works like crazy,” Rohit Malhotra of Capo Italian Deli told DC’s Channel 4. ReporterTom McFly did not reach out to Dr. Fauci for comment: “Gotta keep his eye on the ball.” McFly reported the “sale of these has in part kept staff enployed.” People come in for a sandwich and leave with a cocktail. —MV

segye.com

Upgrades in the Time of Corona

I’m happy with CS6 on Capitan. I have really old tech and for the most part it works just fi ne. Once in a while InDesign will throw a tantrum and I have restart the whole desktop, but the laptop is fi ne. Or it was. Until Adobe said I had 10 days to upgrade or they would delete all of my software.

After some digging, I learned Adobe does not think I’m a bad person, but my incomplete CS6 probably has a blacklisted serial number. More importantly, I learned I can afford the complete Cloud. Hours of downloads later, CC doesn’t work on Capitan. Fine. But I’m paying for the whole cloud, so I should upgrade and use the whole cloud. Catalina is the only OS upgrade? Fine. Catalina it is.

Two days of crashes later, I was sure I broke my laptop. Apple Care happily sent me a link to downgrade to Mojave because CC also doesn’t work on Catalina. They said it was super customer friendly. N. B. D. I even told Luis to text that to an old teammate he’d reached out. The minute I fi nished downloading Mojave’s install package, I told him to text Eastman again to see if we could call him.

Of all the hours I spent downloading and installing the previous three days, those three hours were the fastest because Eastman said we had it. And eventually, we did.

Remote learning

Topics covered in a 3-hour call

Ad revenue

Who might not rent the 9th floor

Instructions for how to drag a file using a shitty touchpad

Guessing the date and time to reset the computer to in Terminal

Tiger King

2 hours 21 minutes 17 seconds... Waiting for Mojave to finish installing.

follow us every day on Twitter @addubs issuu.com/artdepartmentweekly soundcloud.com/artdepartmentweekly “How is there testing for housecats but not for people?” -madeline “Oh, you’re gonna watch that—your mildly funny adult comedy?” -kal

“I have to social distance myself from my fridge” -stephen “Can you hang on one second?” -luis “Maybe I should get off Citizen App” -dave “No sandwich making on the beaches” -alice “The TV is like a giant phone” -betty

Business of Help

When the CEO of Walmart appeared on TODAY and said the economy can’t come back without cooperation between big businesses and small businesses, I believed for a second that they were going to do something that would actually profi t the little guys... Walmart might show them how to use vinyls on their fl oors and hire more people to disinfect stores.

The arrows everyone ignores at Walmart

Madeline Vega

Becoming a Hunchback

February - Drive around upright

March - Hunch over phone

April - Slump over at desk

May - Go for walk

Madeline Vega

Why So Much?

We ordered chicken strips at Popeye’s and they didn’t just give us ketchup—they gave us all the ketchup. I don’t want a thousand packets of ketchup. Betty suddenly decided that night that she would rip open a packet and dip chicken strips in ketchup, but you know what? I already have a giant bottle of ketchup. What I don’t have enough of is Blackened Ranch cups. Give me a box of those.