Dadding Like a Darth

Drew Thompson

Marlin. Mr. Incredible. Mufasa. These dudes would be inaugural inductees if there was a Disney Hall of Fame for fathers. Meanwhile, Darth Vader—who became a Disney dad when the Mouse House purchased Lucasfi lm in 2012— only gets in if he buys a ticket. Though Vader is also voiced by Mufasa’s James Earl Jones, the similarities between he and his fellow Disney fathers stop there.

Certainly the galaxy’s greatest deadbeat dad, Vader ditched Luke and Leia before they were even born, leaving diaper changes and night feedings to nanny droids. And instead of teaching his teen twins how to fl y T-16s, lecturing them not to do death sticks, or taking them on trips to Galaxy’s Edge in Orlando, he spent their formative years married to his work, brutally subjugating worlds for the Empire. He remained absent from their lives until they were well past puberty, steering clear of awkward conversations about the birds, the bees and body hair.

Vader takes a hard pass on warm hugs when he fi rst meets Leia, preferring to poke and prod her with an interrogation droid and then idly stand by as Tarkin makes her homeworld of Alderaan go boom. His fi rst encounter with Luke goes no better when he demands that the prospective Jedi join the dark side. When Luke refuses, couldn’t dear old dad have cut off his iPad privileges instead of his hand!?! And couldn’t he have waited for a better time to reveal the results of the paternity test!?! Or offer to kiss Luke’s boo-boo!?!

Sure, Vader forfeits a father-of-the-year award, but he does ultimately sacrifi ce himself to save Luke’s life, even if it’s only after some serious lobbying from his son. But hey, it’s Father’s Day, so let’s give the Dark Lord a break and show him some love for at least teaching us how not to be a dud of a dad.