In the ten years of honoring & pampering pregnant and nursing mamas with henna and photographing them, I am often invited into the most intimate & personal times of quite a few women’s lives. They tell me their stories and invite me to Baby Showers, Blessingways, Mother Blessings where I hear poems and witness sacred ceremony. I’m told stories of giving birth; tales of babies
who remember being in the womb. I hear about all the ideas our society has about mothers that just don’t fit, like how we are expected to get over a painful birth because a mama and baby are “OK.” All these stories, plus the raw beauty of a woman preparing for
her “rite of passage” is woven into my art, created to honor a transformation and to provide a bit of light for her journey. It is my passion and my calling to be there for women in this special time with art and silk, creating memories for a lifetime.
4
SarahKate: Hello Artfull Mothers, I am excited to be sitting here with the author of the seminal birth preparation book, Sacred Pregnancy and founder of the Sacred Living Movement, Anni Daulter. Anni is the author of 9 books, with the 2nd book in the “Sacred Motherhood” series scheduled to come out July 5th, 2016. Welcome Anni, thank you for taking time from your busy schedule for tea and a chat with us today, there is a lot to talk about, so lets jump right in by briefly explaining the idea behind the “Sacred Living Movement” for someone who may have never heard of it before. Anni: Thank you for having me, its really nice to be here. Sacred Living is elevating the mundane to sacred and that every moment can be ceremony, every moment can be in consciousness. It’s helping people learn how to raise their vibration so they are living in what I call divine mind versus reactive mind, you know, where 90% of our day is spent, in reaction. We react to everything; whether it’s a good reaction or bad reaction, we’re not in our conscious mind, we are in our reactive space. It’s really about learned the practice of coming from divine mind, which means coming from love, right, and really that’s the basis for everything, coming from love.
5
So, Love is a teacher, in every phase of life, how to live in your best self and be your best self, be the best parent, be the best parent that you are! It’s really about having a lot of fun teaching and creating ways to live in your highest vibration and help your family live in their highest vibration, you know, by being a living example.
So, I thought; pregnant women really should be circling together, during the journey, not waiting to the end. There are all these things going on the whole time, even if you have an incredible, supportive partner, which I do, it’s not enough when you are pregnant, because they are not pregnant, they just can’t understand all the things, and there so many things. SarahKate: What an admirable goal! I love it! I have I started looking around for that… and there wasn’t met so many women who have been deeply affected really anything, so I decided “then I will write this by your work, that have taken part in courses, with book.” instructors you’ve trained. I am really curious about SarahKate: How is your book different from other your first book in the series, Sacred Pregnancy, tell pregnancy books? me about how that idea came to you. Anni: I feel like so much of what is out there for pregAnni: Yeah, that’s a great book, I think Sacred Motherhood is a really great follow up to it, because it’s set up in exactly the same way as Sacred Pregnancy. Sacred Motherhood takes women on the next journey in that same deep, reflective way.
nant women really sucks the fun out of being pregnant, there’s so much heady knowledge - you have to know this, and do this - and there’s just that feeling of stripping women away, a little bit at a time; their intuition, their knowing, that trusting place within themI was already a published author before Sacred selves. And having a good time, and really enjoying Pregnancy, they were all cookbooks Then I got preg- it, really diving and leaning deeply into “How can I nant with Lotus and I thought, where else can I con- have fun with this?” That’s the power of this Sacred nect with other pregnant women? So started going to Living movement, bringing women together to relate yoga classes, where I could connect with some other and connect and flow through those phases; together and to have fun! expecting women. I could not find any place to meet any moms, except for yoga classes and at the end pregnancy there are birth preparation classes.
SarahKate: That’s a lot for just a book... but there are classes too, right?
Anni: Yes, definitely. I always wanted to make classes from the book, So I created one retreat; about 3 ½ years ago decided on a training for birth workers. I’m not even in the birth worker’s world at all. I’m not a doula, I’m not a midwife, I’m nothing. So ,I said, I’m going to hold one training and I’m trying to get all these birth workers to come and I really wanted 40 women that was it, and I thought, I will give it to them and they will seed it and take it out into the world. I told my husband, who came because my littlest one was still breastfeeding, if I get a sign from the Universe then maybe I’ll do another one, we’ll see how it goes. So I rented a place at Ohi, my goal was to have 40 women there and exactly 40 women came, I had women who flew in from other countries too and so I had exactly 40 there and that was a sign. I held the retreat with all 40 of these women, they all freak out, loving the thing. There was a woman, who barely spoke the whole time, I thought hated everything thing I was saying. At the end of the class, she came up to me, she gives me a hug and a card, says: “Thank you so much! I really want you to take this work, out into the world.” I thought; oh that’s so sweet, I got in my car and I drove off, I’m at a red light and I open her card, she gave me a check for $35,000, with a little note that said “Take this work out into the world” So that’s how it got started, this is a true story !! So that was 3 ½ years ago and in that time we’ve expanded, with 55 retreats in 9 countries, expanded to 14 live trainings and 40 on line trainings and all kinds of amazing programs , it’s been a whirlwind we’ve been to 9 different countries, Bali, Australia, England, Wales, Scotland, Switzerland, Finland - lots of places. SarahKate: And how is your work received outside the USA? Anni: Everywhere, they love it! Every single place, every single woman just loves it, just literally it blows their mind, they love it SarahKate: That has to be my reaction too! … I went to this amazing class with Mindy Arbuckel, at her studio Maitri Yoga Studio (http://yogamaitricenter.com/) … there’s something really moving about the parts I got to experience. Anni: And it’s really simple, which is the funniest thing, it’s not brain surgery, it’s not like we came up with Lamaze or Bradley or what have you. It’s about the power of women when they come together and how that alone empowers them to step into motherhood, to cross that threshold in a way that hasn’t happened to them before, they feel different, they feel connected to a bigger cause and not isolated in their journey, it’s really powerful, even though it’s so simple. SarahKate: If you could say anything to the women of this world, what would it be?
7
Anni: Anything! And Everything! I guess I would start off with all women are beautiful souls, you know, and no matter where you are on the continuum of your journey of spiritual growth, there’s beauty in every single phase of the journey and my quest would be that all women find the gift in the mud, you know, no mud no lotus, right? Find it in the times when it’s hard. It’s easy to meditate if you’re in a zendo, but it’s much harder to apply all of those facets to the the mundane of our lives, to live in the highest vibration, to really be able to find the freedom and the gifts even in the sticky poky stuff of life. If we’re not attached to the outcome and we’re not attached to how it has to look the we can just dive into what is. Women can fully blossom into the women we were meant to be, I want to see every woman flower into who she’s supposed to be. SarahKate: Thank you so very much Anni, That was beautiful, I am so glad your work is out there now, so many new and expecting mamas in this world can really use your work!
Readers stay tuned, next
season we will share more on this incredible series with an interview with Niki Dewart, who co-authored Sacred Motherhood the second in the series and will be available starting July 5th!, is also one of the women behind the “A Mother’s Wisdom. Sacred Motherhood” tarot deck.
8
Sacred Motherhood Amazon Link: https://www.amazon.com/SacredMotherhood-Inspirational-Mindfully-Mothering/ dp/1623170044 Amazon Description: “Written for mothers seeking to fulfill their soul’s work while simultaneously raising future generations,Sacred Motherhood offers women on the path of motherhood a guide back to themselves. It will help you embrace the reality that this is your spiritual life—every moment of every day, whether you are at the grocery store, changing diapers, arguing with your partner, snuggling with your baby, or dyeing your teenager’s hair pink. Greet the moments when you fall down as awakening opportunities, every bit as holy and powerful as the moments you can drop in and bliss out.” Find out more about the book Sacred Motherhood and upcoming retreats on http://sacred-motherhood.com/ And check out other retreats, journeys, and groups for Sacred Pregnancy, Sacred Brotherhood & Goddess Retreats on: www.sacredlivingmovement.com www.sacredlivinguniversity.com
9
“No one knows the feeling of how your baby stretches and kicks quite like you do. As moms we have an overpowering sense of love for our little ones – all the little details. The way he snuggles into your chest, the tiny little whimpers as she sleeps, the look on their little faces as they look deep into your eyes. In these moments the world stops.
720.541.0775 10
As the weeks and years pass so many of these details fade in our minds. With photography, I get to freeze these moments forever. Printing them to look back on, and remember the feeling you had when you first found out you were having a baby or the way you felt the first time you held your miracle. I don’t take photos, I preserve memories. Babies are the most precious pieces of life’s journey and when a client hires me I get to be a small part of their story and I love every second of it.” ~ Samantha Jessup
www.miraclekisses.com
11
Tell Me the Truth about Birth SarahKate talks with Erika Primozich
Hello Artful Mamas, I want to share a conversation I had with Erika Primozich, one of the Boulder Birth Communities true gems, on May 23rd , 2016. Erika is a Certified Birthing From Within Mentor, and founder of Dive into Birth. Erika has been offering her refreshing and compassionate approach to birth preparation and postpartum care in Boulder for over 14 years!
way, they feel educated, and empowered, and well supported. Couples are often surprised to discover the depth of their internal and external resources. SarahKate: Say a little more about the internal and external resources…
Erika: Sure! Examples of internal resources might be mindfulness practices (and pain coping strategies, which we cover in SarahKate: Hi Erika, thank you for the class), and recalling past meeting me today! I have heard experiences that required inner so many great things about you, strength and determination, as your Birthing From Within classes well as emotional preparation. Of and something you offer called course, external resources include “Birth Story Medicine.” We have things like partner support (touch, a lot to cover, let’s start with your encouragement, connection), birth preparation classes, which if doulas, sustenance, care providI understand correctly, are based er’s expertise, etc… on the book Birthing from Within, SarahKate: Tell me briefly how by Pam England. you integrate the medical knowlErika: Hi SarahKate, thanks for edge piece… having me! Yes, my classes are based on Birthing from Within. Erika: It’s important for couples In my classes, women and their to have an understanding of how partners are prepared for birth in birth generally unfolds and what an approach that blends modern they might expect to encounter. medical knowledge, instinctual So, we cover the nuts and bolts drive, and inner wisdom. In this – like the stages of labor, baby
We use the labyrinth as a metaphor for birth…
-it is a sacred map, and when walking it, all you know is that the path is leading you toward the center, you really don’t know how it will unfold, or what lies around the next corner –and yet there are no wrong turns.
positioning, medical interventions, decision-making tools, pharmaceutical options, and medical staff interactions. All of this evidencebased information is explored in a non-judgmental and compassionate space. SarahKate: So how does a mother’s instinctual drive and inner wisdom come into play here? Erika: Great question! These are such important pieces… because it’s easy in our culture to rely too heavily on the medical information, forgetting to tap into what we already know on an instinctual level, and what holds true for us on an individual, personal level. Sometimes, we overthink things ...we read books and watch videos, and we can get overloaded with information and linear, left-brain thinking, when it’s actually the creative, fluid, instinctual right-brain that is most active during birth. It takes an ability and willingness to balance what we know rationally with what we know intuitively. This is a key piece of the Birthing From Within philosophy. SarahKate: It sounds like Birthing From Within is a pretty unique
approach… Erika: Yes, it really is… My classes take women and their partners deep; sometimes sharing their biggest fears and concerns, their thoughts about themselves, whatever is needed to prepare them for birth. This is one of the reasons I keep each class small, 3 to 5 couples max, to foster safety and intimacy. In looking at fears, I encourage women to ask, “If X were to happen, what would that mean about me?”, “What kind of stories am I telling myself?” So, we look at the things things they are worried about, or fearful of, and then dig into how they might cope with difficult or challenging situations. It’s usually a relief, actually, to openly have this discussion, rather than just hoping things don’t happen. And it’s empowering to uncover inner guidance and to remember that they know, on a deep level, how to handle tough situations. SarahKate: Would you say that your classes are designed for women who desire a natural birth? Erika: Well, yes and no… and this is a huge distinction between this approach and others. My classes are not outcome focused. I don’t prepare women for a “natural birth”, or a “pain-free birth”, but instead, prepare them to stay connected with the birth experience they are having. Of course, many of the women who come to my classes are hoping for a natural birth, and I want them to have many strategies and resources (including specific pain-coping practices) in order to navigate labor – but I also want them to grasp that birth is mysterious and unpredictable, and thus holding oneself to one specific outcome can be potentially disappointing. My class is about helping women be prepared
to find their way through labor and birth, physically and emotionally; digging deep when needed to mindfully meet whatever it is that comes their way. This helps them appreciate the unique perfection of their birth experience.
offer pain coping practices with the intention to quiet the “suffering mind”… the internal dialogue that says, “This is too hard”, “I can’t do it!”, “How much longer?”, “This sucks!”… so that the pain can do its job (which is to communicate SarahKate: You mentioned mind- with the brain) and the mind can fulness… can you say more about stay out of the way. Couples leave how you bring that into your class? my classes having learned 4-5 different pain-coping strategies. Erika: Mindfulness is woven into every aspect of my class: pain- SarahKate: I’m particularly intercoping practices, art processes, ested to hear about the art? exploring the labyrinth, and fos- Erika: Yes! Art is a favorite part tering intimacy between women of my classes, it helps wake up and their partners. the right- brain and access “inner SarahKate: How do you approach knowing” – which is so important in preparing for birth. Often, parpain in labor? ents will have an insight while Erika: In my classes, I don’t avoid doing art. So using art as a prousing the word “pain”, because cess (not in an effort to create in truth, most women feel pain beautiful pieces), helps women in childbirth. So, we talk about and their partners to tap into new pain coping, rather than pain information, ideas, and resources. elimination. I think the sensa- And, it’s fun! tion of pain is actually important in birth… it sends a message to SarahKate: A few minutes ago, the brain,‘We’re having a baby! you spoke of the labyrinth… can Release the oxytocin!’. So, the you explain? pain itself isn’t a problem -- there’s Erika: The labyrinth is an ancient an important distinction to make symbol, similar to a maze, only between pain and suffering. In with no dead-ends. We use the Birthing From Within classes, we labyrinth as a metaphor for birth…
13
it is a sacred map, and when walking it, all you know is that the path is leading you toward the center (or the birth), you really don’t know how it will unfold, or what lies around the next corner –and yet there are no wrong turns. It’s a powerful tool that gives people permission to feel confused, scared and/or lost, and yet to find their way. It also is nice for couples to have a shared view of how their birth journey might manifest. Ultimately, that’s what my classes are really about… embracing each moment for what it is, making decisions as needed, and trusting yourself to do what needs to be done. SarahKate: What do you love most about this work? Erika: Ha! I love so much about it, it’s hard to nail it down. However, I guess the piece I love the most is witnessing the transformation that happens in birth. I believe that birth is a rite of passage and that recognizing and honoring the transition to parenthood is an important part of birth preparation. A rite of passage is a transformational experience; it’s so monumental and challenging, it feels as if there’s a moment when a piece of of you dies… that old part of you that needs to die so
the new part can be born. We talk about the maiden, who has to transform, so the mother can be born within. And even though it’s daunting and sounds extreme, most people who have experienced birth would agree, there’s a moment (or moments) where the old identity is stripped away… this is GOOD, this is growth and expansion, metamorphosis. I want that for them. I want to prepare parents for the magnitude of the experience, so that they can fully step into motherhood/fatherhood/ parenthood. It’s raw and gritty- not always calm, peaceful and painfree—that’s how we know it’s a rite of passage! And, it’s a beautiful thing to witness.
Birth Story Medicine SarahKate: Erika, what else are you working on? Erika: Thanks for asking! I’m really excited about my new focus on Birth Story Listening. It’s a powerful process that I have been trained in by Pam England, the author of Birthing From Within and creator of Birth Story Medicine. There is almost a universal need for women to heal from their birth stories. There is an infinitely wide spectrum of birth experiences, and any where along that spectrum,
women can be left with a sense of disappointment, regret, and even trauma. Because birth is such a raw and vulnerable experience, women often carry pieces of their story with them for a long time, and yet long for the opportunity to integrate it in a new way. SarahKate: Can you say more? Erika: The process that we call Birth Story Medicine, gives women a chance to tell their story in a different way. Most people don’t know how to respond to a mama who’s upset about her birth - they feel sorry for her, or tell her, “at least mom and baby are fine!”, or relay their own birth story as a comparison. That’s the way the way our culture usually deals with hard birth stories, “at least everybody is ok” and “it all worked out in the end”, which can be true…, but it doesn’t change the fact women (and partners and birth professionals) are often walking around wounded and needing someone to validate their experience, and help them move through it. SarahKate: How does this process work? Erika: I have them pick the moment that troubles them the most, the one they keep coming back to, the one they wish they could re-do or that nags at them the most. Then, I use a variety of offerings involving storytelling, metaphor, body sensing, things like this, to create a shift in their self-messaging. Ultimately, it involves seeing the story through a new lens, and working to bring in compassion and forgiveness. It’s truly profound. It’s not a secret or magic, and I am not claiming to cure anything… this is really about listening in a deep way and creating a shift in a story. This process can be complementary to other healing work mama may be doing then.
Erika: It’s amazing, when I started offering sessions, the response I got made me realize there are a lot of mothers (and fathers, and birth professionals) who are ready to heal; they feel like they can not carry this rendition of the birth story anymore, it’s too heavy. Many are pregnant again or soon will be, and they don’t want to bring the old story into their next birth. Some are postpartum within the first year and for them it’s still fresh, others gave birth 10 years ago (or more!), and still hold the pain from that experience in their mind, body, and heart. They know they want to believe something different about themselves, they just don’t know how to access it. The session is quick – about 1 hour, and it’s incredible, I can often even see a physical shift! And every single one of them taps into something that is more true about themselves than the story they’ve been holding.
strong balm.. I am honored to be able to guide them to a new sense of self, and to witness the truth and vulnerability in that place of transformation. SarahKate: What would say the goal of your work is? Erika: Ultimately, my intention is to guide women and their partners to be prepared on a deep, holistic level for birth, as well as to nurture the healthy integration of birth stories. And of course, I love seeing women celebrated, honored, and feeling connected with themselves, their partners and their babies. I am privileged to be a part of this sacred work. SarahKate: Thanks, Erika! I’m confident that there are many Artfull Mothers out there who would benefit from your serviced are interested there What’s the best way for them to find you?
Erika: It’s been my pleasure! I have many offerings, including the birth classes we talked about, as well Erika: It is huge. Every time I sit with a woman, I’m as private and refresher courses, and the Birth Story touched by how much they are hurting, and how Medicine sessions. Thank you, SarahKate! ready they are to release and move forward. It’s clear Find Erika Here: Its easy, just call me: 303-746-0267, or that they are carrying the old narrative and the pain look me up on Facebook: http://Facebookcom/diveintoclose to the surface… this wound keeps them feeling birth or visit my website where you can read a little more stuck. What they have been longing for is the space about all this great stuff: http://www.diveintobirth.com/ to be heard and validated on a deeply compassionate level. The intentional listening process that I offer is a SarahKate: This sounds like a powerful offering!
15
16
Rachel’s henna: created & photographed by SarahKate Butterworth 18
Rachel Claire’s Birth Story
I went into labor at 3:00 a.m. on a Thursday morning. I woke up to contractions which were about an hour apart. They were mild, felt much like period cramps, so I stayed in bed and didn’t alert anyone.
The next morning, I told my honey that I thought I was in labor, but the contractions were so far apart that I wasn’t sure if this would really be it or if it was “false labor” as they call it.
from work. I had contractions all my hips. day long. I could still move around, By 10 that night, I was in the tub, walk, get things done around the seeking pain relief, beginning to house. transition, vomiting and going very When a contraction would start, internal. I’d tap him and say, “It’s starting.” I’d imagined a romantic birth. He’d hold my hand. I’d close my Orgasmic birth. I figured I’d make eyes and breathe. out with my sweetie during the la-
Sometimes I had to move, change bor. There’d be essential oils, nice positions, moan and have him push music, candlelight.
I didn’t go anywhere that day. I made a joke that if this was really labor then it was nothing and I didn’t know what the big deal was. I told him it was fine if he left for work. Soon enough, I was on all fours, moaning. The contractions were random. 14 minutes apart. 7 minutes apart. One right after the other. Throughout my pregnancy I asked, over and over, “How do I know when to go?” Everyone said, “You’ll know.” My midwife said, “I’ll hear it in your voice.” I’d heard so many times that too many women arrive early, that I think I wanted to ensure that I didn’t go until I knew I was in labor for sure, and far along. I labored all day and through the night. I let my honey sleep, as I wanted him to rest, for who knew how long this would take? I was up every few minutes, off and on all night, breathing through these surges and getting in different positions. By Friday, I knew this was labor. I asked Ryan to stay home 19
In reality, being deep in labor felt a lot like being sick. Have you ever had a bad stomach virus or the flu? By Friday night I was telling him to leave me alone and don’t touch me.
Soon, I began to feel the urge to push. I was so tired that I didn’t think clearly. I just kept wanting to rest. I’d think, ‘Okay, I’ll push, and then this will stop and I can go back to bed.’
I’d feel an uncontrollable desire to push and head I remember at one point he came in with his coat to the bathroom quickly. I actually kept thinking I on. I looked at him with confusion. Did he think we needed to have a bowel movement. Soon, I was feeling for her head- concerned that I shouldn’t be pushwere going somewhere? ing and wondering, am I fully dilated? In my mind, it wasn’t time and the last thing I Finally, at 1:55 I called my midwife. I said, “Renee, wanted was to get in a car. I‘m sorry to bother you, but I feel like I have to push.” He asked me to call the midwife. Finally, I gave in She said, “Come in.” and agreed. I got off the phone. Slipped on my shoes and jacket She said I could come in or I could slip under the covers and rest. So, that’s what I did. I figured if she and woke Ryan up. I could barely walk. Somehow I wasn’t saying, “Get your butt in here” then I had made it down my front stairs. time.
I went to bed. Ryan joined soon after. From about 11:00 p.m. until 1:50 in the morning, I labored in bed.
I got to the parking lot of my condo. I squatted there, aside my car, under the night sky. I didn’t know how I was going to make it. The urge to push was so strong, uncontrollable.
I was never asleep. I remember feeling painful I climbed in the car, facing toward the rear, hugback labor. Breathing through it. Being so uncomfortging the seat back. Ryan stopped at two red lights. I able. So much pain. said, both times, “Run the lights!” Between contractions I’d get some rest, but durWe arrived, Ryan took in our bags. Renee didn’t ing contractions I’d jump up, head to the bathroom. see me and shut the door. There I was, on the front Writhing in discomfort. steps, in the darkness, and for a brief moment, I felt The babe was moving so much. All that squeezing the most alone I’ve ever felt. on her was making her wiggly. That was the worst On hands and knees, I yelled, “Renee!” She turned, part- no pauses, no space of no pain. It was constantopened the door, and saw me there. ly uncomfortable, movement, pressure, and surges. She came, offered her hand, and said come in. I kept breathing. I stayed still except for when I couldn’t take it anymore and I’d jump up and go to the bathroom.
20
“I don’t think I can make it.” “Yes, you can. Come on.”
I couldn’t. I was frozen. For a moment, I just couldn’t push.
“Rachel, I need you to do this for your baby. Push!” I took a deep breath, gathered my strength, and with a head in my pelvis, I walked into the birth cenI grabbed my left leg with my left arm around the ter. back of my knee, pulled my leg toward my chest, I stripped off my nightgown, kicked off my shoes, took a deep breath and pushed as hard as I could. and sat on the toilet.
“I’m going to check you, okay?” said Renee. I nodded. “You’re fully dilated, and your baby’s crowning.”
I felt her head come out. Then, the shoulders, and finally, the rest of her body, in a quick woosh much like all the videos I’d seen of birth. There she was. Upon my chest. Purple. Long fingers and long fingernails.
She pulled out the stool and asked me to have a There was a moment that felt a lot like imprinting, seat. I squatted on the stool. ya know, from the Twilight books? “I want to get in the tub,” I said. I looked at her and thought, it’s you, of course. “You can’t, I’m sorry. Your baby is coming right now.” “I can wait,” I said. I want to get in the tub.
Ryan said, “Is it a boy or a girl?” I turned her and saw her perfect little labia and said, “She’s a girl.” Of course. She’s a girl.
She had me reach down to feel that my babe’s “What’s her name?” Renee asked, and without head was crowning. hesitation, I said, Then, she reached for the doppler to get the babe’s “Sophia.” heart rate. She couldn’t hear it. She looked into my “Sophia Grace.” eyes with a look of panic. This blog is part of a series. “I need to you lay back on the bed so I can hear the heartbeat.”
Read more here:
I sat there. I felt the burning they call the ring of fire.
http://theboulderpsychic.com/2016/04/11/11698/
Ryan pulled me up with his arms under my shoulders and fell back onto the bed with me on top of him. Renee looked at me and said, “Rachel, push.”
21
A Mother Blessing I have had the unique pleasure to have been invited to many “Mother Blessings” to partake in the love and respect of these women who are soon to give birth. The more I get to witness these gatherings, I sense the sprouts emerging and rising from the roots of our melting pot culture. While we may not be engaging in a practice steeped in tradition, I get a special feeling of connectedness to the other mama’s, all of them. This event was held at the home of a close friend; the lovely open living room, dining room & kitchen area gracefully handled the people who came to honor Rachel. I recognized a couple of women who I’d painted henna for their pregnancies years ago - Deb and Amanda. It’s amazing how these circles of women are connected! There was a sumpous feast of high quality, lovingly prepaired food and friends and family laughing and talking as this is an auspicious day! I found my place, give some small hennas to about a dozen quests, and meet some fine women. Soon Darlene began beating her drum, getting our attention, she organized us into a circle shape and said; “This is a Mother’s Blessing focusing positive energy to prepare Rachel, Brian and their dear child for the coming labor and childbirth.” She placed the flower crown on Rachel and smudged the group with sage. 22
She called in all the directions “To our mothers, grandmothers, great-grand mothers back through time - we call upon their wisdom, strength, imagination, courage and character. We appreciate our time here to remember our connection with life and birth. Take a moment to set your intentions.” The mama-to-be enjoyed a foot bath, massage and had a dear friend brushing her hair as she listened to each person share their good wishes. Each person shared a short blessing, added their bead to the necklace being formed and they lit a candle for her. Rachel had spent the past decade as a preschool teacher in Boulder at Aria and had touched so many mothers’ lives! I broke out in happy tears several times listening to all the love she’s shared. When it was her sister’s chance to give a blessing, she sang a hilarious song about giving birth to a melon. When everyone had given Rachel their blessings, Darlene brought out a ball of red yarn, that was wrapped around the wrist of each woman as it was passed around the circle, representing the web of life. A pair of scissors was passed around, and yarn was cut and tied as bracelets to remind everyone of Rachel during her last few weeks of pregnancy - to be removed after she gave birth. This is just one form a Mother Blessing can take and I loved witnessing it!
As the birth photographer for the Denver Center for Birth and Wellness, I’m honored to provide birth photography for each of their clients. Having tangible memories of these incredible moments is priceless, and I’m
so happy that more and more families will have the opportunity to have their birth stories captured. This beautiful family labored with such peace and control as they brought their third baby into
the world. The staff at the Denver Center for Birth and Wellness gently and calmly reassured this mama once her labor picked up in intensity. Although she had been having contractions all day, it was only
23
about 30 minutes before baby was born that the contractions were close together and intense. It was incredible to watch her listen to her own body, to get into the position that felt best for her, and to see such reassuring support around her.
24
Their baby girl came into the world after only a few pushes and was placed immediately on mom’s chest. She didn’t leave her for well over two hours before she was quickly examined and then given right back to mom.
25
“To me, breastfeeding has meant a bond with my daughter like no other. I am her comfort, her food, and her warmth. If she is sad, nursing makes her happy. If she is thirsty, nursing quenches her thirst. If she is hungry, my milk fills her belly. I sometimes wonder what it will be like when she is no longer breastfeeding. Of course I hope she continues on for years to come and I hope that when we are done with this journey, we are both at peace with it ending.” Like many moms, Melissa knew she wanted to breastfeed her daughter from the time she found out she was pregnant. Having watched her sister breastfeed all four of her children for over a year, she became her biggest role model. Melissa also turned to a coworker who was nursing and pumping at work to help her with the ins and outs of pumping when she came back. Melissa knew the importance of breastfeeding both for their bond and the nutritional value, and was determined to give her daughter this gift from the very beginning. Yet their breastfeeding journey did not go as planned. When her precious baby girl was born she had severely low blood sugar and was given a bottle of donor milk. Melissa admits that she did not know the effect of having a bottle directly after birth would have on their relationship. Some babies do not have any trouble with having a bottle or pacifier before or even along with the breast from the very beginning while others get what is called nipple confusion. Nipple confusion is when the baby thinks that the bottle is what they are meant to have and so that is what they prefer. Her daughter may or may not have had nipple confusion, but either way her latch left something to be desired. Melissa was in pain, her daughter wouldn’t latch and she didn’t have the support they needed. So she started pumping and giving her daughter a bottle.
26
While she was still attempting to nurse, there were days she wouldn’t even try because her daughter was fussy at the breast and it hurt her to try.
she was not with her. Melissa began to wean herself down to three pumping sessions per day over the next six months. Part of her success with this was her decision to start bed-sharing From day one she pumped eight again at eight months. times a day which led to an oversupMelissa had suspected a lip tie very ply and a forceful letdown, neither early on, but since she was pumping of which helped with the difficulty and giving her daughter a bottle, she in nursing. Exclusively pumping was wasn’t showing any of the usual signs not what Melissa had in mind when that something was amiss. It wasn’t she was pregnant and it was not how until her daughter was about six she wanted their relationship to go. months old, when her latch improved So at six months she decided that her that Melissa really noticed how much daughter would only get bottles when pain her lip tie was causing them both.
27
Her lip tie was finally released at ten months which had an almost immediate positive effect. Facebook groups and all the informational articles on KellyMom.com were a big help in continuing their journey. Truly, the biggest thing was that she knew what she wanted and she wasn’t willing to give up. Her determination is what got her through all of the hurdles as they came, both big and small. “My advice to other moms would be to not give up, [and] seek out support, because it is out there. Don’t be shy, because there are other moms
going through what you are going through or have already [gone] through it. Set reasonable goals for yourself. There will be pain, there will be tears (both mom and baby), and you will want to throw in the towel, but if breastfeeding is what you want to do, then believe in yourself, your body, your baby, and your abilities. Don’t fall for the boobie traps because they are everywhere.”
Miracle Kisses
Motherhood is a journey we never want to forget. My passion is documenting all the tiny, precious details and special moments in your little ones’ first year of life and beyond.
Samantha Jessup 720.541.0775 www.miraclekisses.com
28
29
As we settle in for our post-nap snuggle time, I take my first long, deep breath of the day. I feel you relax into my arms as your expert flicker calls the milk down like royalty pulling the corded tassel that summons all the servants into action at once. As I welcome the familiar tingle and the mama-milk begins to flow, we reconnect in a way that defies description. No words are needed; I know everything is as it should be and I savor every moment.
have a baby throughout my life. The delivery varied- from the doctor recommending a hysterectomy when I was 24 to well-wishers that didn’t want me to get my hopes up only to have my heart broken, but the message was the same. The only ‘never’ that’s been true for me, however, is I’ve never been good with being told I couldn’t do something. Maybe it strengthened my resolve, maybe I just don’t take no for an answer, but in any case I knew I had to try. As I look at you, I I allow my mind to wander and remind myself that really nothing is let it run and play as I softly scan impossible. You are living, breathyour nursery. Your collection of ing, giggling, snuggling proof and I stuffed animals draws me in and I will never forget it. My best friend’s giggle to myself as I imagine you: mother used to call me Alice in a hybrid version of your Octopus Wonderland and I could never figand Mountain Goat; my small- ure out why. I chuckle to myself as baby-turned-OctoGoat who has the realization dawns on me: I am suddenly grown 6 extra arms that Alice. Why now, as a mama mycan reach everything in sight only self, “Sometimes I believe in as to deposit them all swiftly into your many as 6 impossible things bemouth. The Elephant lures me fore breakfast.” It’s a job requirenext with the insane notion that I ment. would have happily stayed pregI chase my racing thoughts even nant with you for 24 months, no further down the rabbit hole and problem. Then Kangaroo kindly of- relive the many, many moments fers the best of both worlds- where during my prenatal ultrasounds I can see your big sparkly eyes when I so desperately wanted to and hear your laugh all the while reach through the pixilated screen holding you close in my Mama just to hold your tiny hand and feel Roo-pouch. I take another long your chubby cheeks. I wanted to deep breath and wish for a mo- hold you so badly, yet paradoximent I could put you back in my cally I was holding you the whole belly and simultaneously laugh time. I remembered sitting listenat myself knowing you’re too big. ing to your heartbeat hoping the Your 18 month old body won’t fit nurse would forget about me for your newborn clothes much less just a little while longer, not wantmy belly. Silly mama. ing to part from the steady rhythm I bring my gaze to your sweetly that reassured me with every beat closed eyes, dimpled hand gently my tiny drummer is here now. I reresting on my breast as you nurse. corded it- listening to the perfect I am amazed by you; the fact that iambic rhythm every night before you are here at all still blows my sleep, your way of telling me, ‘I mind each and every day. I was Am, I Am, I Am… told countless times I would never
’We switch sides and now you grasp my fingers, as if you raced down the rabbit hole of my thoughts with me, my little white rabbit. I breathe in how good it feels to hold you as I gently caress your silky soft hand. My mind swirls and quickly turns the tables on me. Just as if I had drunk the potion that made Alice shrink, I wonder what it was like for you that whole time. For the first time since we sat down to snuggle, I break the comfortable silence. The question floats out of my thoughts, “Do you remember being in my belly?” You immediately look up at me and smile. Our eyes lock and I instantly know you understand.
“Do you remember being in my belly?” You immediately look up at me and smile. Our eyes lock and I instantly know you understand.
Taking a break from your milk, you point at my heart and say, “Buh-Bup” over and over, alternating with “Right there.” You clearly know exactly what you are talking about and are so happy to tell me. I barely breathe; we’ve never spoken about heartbeats. Surely, this is impossible.
full free-fall and I am suddenly looking at an ultrasound picture come to life. I am catapulted back in time to the moment I stared, stunned at the image of my 39 week old breech baby with her right leg above her head and her left leg curled under her. We definitely never talked about that.
Stunned, I draw in my next breath determined to follow this rabbit hole as far as we dare to go. I delve further, “Do you remember your cord?”
I hear my voice whisper, “Where was your head?” seeming to come from somewhere inside me since I’ve stopped breathing.
You nod and point at your belly button, “Right there!” I ask if you played with it and you smile and giggle- a definite yes.
You gently lay your palm on the exact spot your head pressed, and at times threatened to break through, right next to where you pointed to my, “Buh-Bup.” You not only know, but you also remember.
My next question confirms my belief in impossible things forever. “Where were your feet?” Without hesitation, you lift your right foot above your head and curl your left foot under you. My adventure down the rabbit hole is now in a
31
The clarity crashes in like the tidal waves of Alice’s tears. All the time I was yearning to listen to your heartbeat, you were listening to mine the whole time. ALL of my at-
tempts to turn you: yoga, acupuncture, moxa, inversion, handstands in the pool (really), and you stayed as close to my heart as you could get. So, you weren’t really trying to come out my mouth as I sometimes thought. Simultaneous waves of relief, awe, guilt, and joy sweep me back to our post-nap snuggle time with a newfound respect and belief that truly, Nothing is Impossible. Just ask Alice. ~Stacey Malik Local mama