The Artichoke Vol. 8 No. 7 by Artichoke Magazine

Empower women

MARCH 2019 | VOL. 8 NO. 7

EMPOWERED WOMEN

ARTICHOKE

CONTRIBUTORS

Editor-In-Chief

Lamia Abozaid

Assistant Editor

Katherine Collier

Writers

Vanessa Sandoval Charlotte Ayaz Maya Vukov Katherine Collier Kelly Estomo Madfish Fisher Isaiah-John Sison Laura Bourbonnais Anna Wilson

Design Editor

Sarah Wong

Designers

Bri Coggans Zhen Li Joel Louzado Samneet Mann Mars Quave Mirabelle Wang Livia Widjaja Michelle Young

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WINTERS

IN THIS ISSUE

FEATURE

CREATIVE

A Day for Everything Isaiah-John Sison

There’s No Such Thing As A National Holiday Charlotte Ayaz

Feminism for the Generations Vanessa Sandoval

Giving in Anna Wilson

The Green Month Maya Vukov

LIFESTYLE

Silence Your Inner Critic! Madfish Fisher

do it yourself (diy) Kelly Estomo

Power Up Women Katherine Collier

Theatre Laura Bourbonnais

Thoughts about Zero Discrimination Day Laura Bourbonnais

International Women’s Day! Laura Bourbonnais

ARTICHOKE

A DAY FOR EVERYTHING YOU WILL FIND in this edition of the Artichoke pieces inspired by some of the “days” in March dedicated to one thing or another. There’s Zero Discrimination Day (Mar. 1), International Women’s Day (Mar. 8), St. Patrick’s Day (Mar. 17), World Down Syndrome Day (Mar. 21), and World Theatre Day (Mar. 27). With all these “dedicated days” on the calendar, it is easy to be mixed up with all the thoughts and intentions being passed around as each day comes and goes, but I think it is important to remember some things: THESE DAYS ARE MEANT TO CELEBRATE AND BE INCLUSIVE. There is no wrong day to have something good to think about. In fact, the dedication of these days to their subjects are opportunities more than other days to do something special without the fear that you will be judged for your background, preference, festive spirit, or whatever the nature of the day is. If you are drawn to the festivities surrounding a dedicated day but do not feel like you would fit in, there is probably a space for you to celebrate with everyone else respectfully. You do not have to be Irish to drink on St. Patrick’s Day nor do you have to be a woman to realize how far we have come with gender equality and inclusion. As long as you have respect for the meaning behind the day and the people it is meant to recognize, there will always be a place for you. YOU DON’T HAVE AN OBLIGATION TO ANY OF THESE DAYS. It can be frustrating or guilting when you realize on the day of or after that your chance to speak your mind or do something to recognize the day has passed. I know I felt especially bummed out when I missed out on National Pizza Day (Feb. 9 –

BY ISAIAH-JOHN SISON

fortunately I will have another chance on Pi Day, Mar. 14). However, it is useful to remember that there is never a bad time to say or do something that matters. On the flipside, it is also not wrong to be passive when these days do come. Dedicated days are opportunities to do something special but by no means an obligation to anyone, no matter how relevant. Not all Irish people do something for St. Patrick’s Day, not all theatre companies mount a show on Theatre Day – if it is not your thing, there is no shame in missing out. RECOGNIZING THESE DAYS IS A CHANCE TO EDUCATE YOURSELF AND START THE CONVERSATIONS. Every January since 2011, the Bell Media Corporation has hosted a one-day social media event with the hashtag #BellLetsTalk, aiming to raise funds for mental health initiatives in Canada through the use of social media virality. However, this campaign did not come without controversy, as many denounced it as a capitalist venture under the guise of charity; nothing more than a cheap advertisement campaign, saying things such as “I’m doing this for mental health awareness and not for Bell” or “this is a conversation that should happen more than one day a year.” These are valid views, however as direct result of the campaign, it has become much easier to access public resources for mental health in Canada and conversations about mental health are becoming less taboo. In a like sense, regardless the nature of the designated days we celebrate, to anyone on the outside looking in these days are opportunities for those who celebrate these days to educate others and start conversations about these things.

FEATURE

MORE DEDICATED DAYS DOES NOT MAKE ANY OF THEM ANY LESS SPECIAL. A complaint I have heard from many skeptics is that the more days there are, the more oversaturated our society and social media is with irrelevant or pedantic matters. The reality is that the world functions too broadly to avoid conversations about matters that are important enough to have a whole calendar date dedicated to it. It is also important to realize that although certain days or matters may not be relevant to us, it is good to stay informed about the things that affect the people around us. Information is the best way to combat ignorance. On another note, the importance of any given day is held, first and foremost, by those celebrating it. You want to drink drown yourself in Guinness for St. Patty’s? Go right ahead. You want to open up your closet for the world to see on Zero Discrimination Day? Shout it out for all to hear! If the day is for you, then make it yours. YOU CAN JOIN IN, BUT SOMETIMES IT IS JUST BEST TO RESPECT THE RECOGNITION OF THE DAY.

It goes without saying that not all these days are for everyone. Whether or not the celebration or recognition is for you to join is up to you, but perhaps the best way for you to recognize it is just to respect the people who the day is special for. In other words, don’t be a killjoy and everything will be alright. Although there are not many big holidays in March, there are things to do and learn for all. I, personally, will be thrilled to go out and get hammered on St. Patrick’s Day, or to catch a show for World Theatre Day. And whether any of these days apply to you, it is the thought that counts, and I personally invite you all to find yourselves in the company of people recognizing the need to not discriminate, the empowerment of women around the world, the luck of the Irish, the warmth of those with Down Syndrome, and the power of theatre. If you do not swing that way, then make a special day for yourself. After all, every life is worth celebrating. No matter what you do, have a happy March!

ARTICHOKE

FEATURE

BY CHARLOTTE AYAZ

ON ANY GIVEN day of the year, there are a number of “holidays” that you could be celebrating. In fact, on the day that I am writing this, it is National Love Your Pet Day, National Muffin Day, Clean Out Your Bookcase Day, World Day of Social Justice, and many others. Upon further research, it seems that there is no real way to “verify” a national holiday. For many years, the U.S. Congress kept record of National Holidays, making up quite a few for amusement, and now it seems anyone with a reasonable amount of internet influence can make up holidays as they please. For some, the hobby is utilized to bring attention to world issues, such as National Bullying Day. Other holidays, such as the upcoming St. Patrick’s Day, have historical roots, often in religion. Many more, such as National Croissant Day or National Boyfriend Day, are created just for fun.

The question has been brought up by many, then: Why celebrate at all? And, if all holidays are made up, then what makes a day like Valentine’s more valid to celebrate then, say, Moldy Cheese Day? (No, seriously, I am not making this up.) Spoiler alert: There is no real answer. There is nothing forcing you to celebrate if you do not want to. But then again, is any reason to celebrate not a good one? While National Holidays might not always be the most legitimate, they do serve as a reminder to continue fighting for things that are important, like Zero Discrimination Day, or to enjoy the little things in life, like Step In A Puddle And Splash Your Friends Day.

ARTICHOKE

BY VANESSA SANDOVAL

FEATURE

FEMINISM THROUGH THE GENERATIONS: WHEN YOU COME FROM A TRADITIONAL CHINESE FAMILY IT IS DIFFICULT to say that I have a strong, feminist role model in my traditional Chinese mother—not that I do not have one, just difficult to articulate in those specific words. Growing up in a family where my role was confined to the strict structure of focusing everything on school, extracurricular activities, and more school, I have had to collect pieces within the hated structure to love. It is because of the quiet translation of hating restriction to hating those who imposed it, that I have generally grown up feeling that I was looking out at feminism through a small bedroom window. Feminism has always had the appearance of being kind and loving, but loudly; strong, and making sure you knew it. Feminism felt like a battalion of unapologetic, extroverted sisters-in-arms who loved and supported each other unconditionally, who never made you feel like you had anything to be ashamed of. I grew up with a lot of shame. I grew up with a lot of love too, but that love also came with fine print in a Terms & Conditions contract I did not read carefully enough. Shame about my body shape, my acne, my clothing, my interests, my religion, my love life— this must sound like a very familiar list of things to many of you. I have spent most of my adolescence fighting it. Only recently have I tried to listen and understand why these female role models in my life, my mother and my aunts and my grandmothers, continue to perpetuate shame. Women passing on hurtful teachings to their daughters is not a new

concept. Foot binding in the Tang Dynasty was taught from mother to daughter, especially among the nobility where women lived in inner chambers, away from men, before a daughter was ready to be wed and her feet were properly mutilated to wear the perfect lotus shoes for her fiancé. Shame is not new, and neither is passing on generational fear and trauma. But I do not want to leave you on that note. Because women, generationally and culturally in my family, are so much more complex than that. Over the last year, I have had the opportunity to collect and record oral histories with the women in my family. I am flabbergasted to learn of stories of my Chinese grandmother, married by arrangement at age 18, running from her abusive in-laws to Hong Kong— a dangerous escape that would have taken days with no map, no money, and nobody to protect her—to find my grandfather. When she found him, she slept on a log in an alleyway with him until they found work together. My great-aunt, who learned calligraphy as a family trade, drew with her father until the bombs came in World War II and destroyed everything. She became a farmer and worked the land with her father until he died of opium poisoning. My mother, who came from a background of poverty and worked hard to get a university degree in business, came to Canada only to realize her degree was useless and her English barely passable for any kind of work. This is not to say shame and hurt disappears when staring at the unequivocal mountain of trials and tribulations these women surmounted in their lifetimes. But it does paint a bigger picture of how healthier feminism could had fallen to the wayside, and it does help me understand why and why me and is there something here I can look up to? It is through collecting these moments of power I see in the lives of the women I love that I begin to assemble my own (hopefully) healthier feminism and individuality. In the grander context of where these women came from, what they opposed, and how that has led in a domino-effect down the family tree, it is not hard to search through the chaos and find myself—and love shamelessly.

ARTICHOKE

BY ANNA WILSON

I HAVE BEEN so terrified to end your era thinking it will be the end of mine as well, but, my love, itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not. The end of your era is the beginning of my empire. I will stand in the face of my fears and declare power. My hope is no longer enslaved to your smile. From this day, my love, I find hope beyond your eyes. My love for you was the most profound thing I have ever felt. But I will learn to see the beauty within myself. I am more than my love to you. I am a whole kingdom.

FEATURE

I THOUGHT LIVING in a utopia would save me, but I am so consumed by this reality that I lost my ability to imagine. I am trapping myself within the walls of my sorrow. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m familiarized with all that breaks me that I forgot how it felt to stay whole. Poetry is gradually letting go of me. She could only hold them back for so long. She underestimated how powerful my demons are, and for a sweet second I believed her. I do not know for how much longer I can keep convincing myself

that denying your existence might actually make you fail to exist. Denying and running have always been easier than taking your constant hits, until running became so lonely. Choosing between loneliness and my demons, I found myself with the latter. How is it that our basic needs heighten our vulnerability? My body is craving its share of oxytocin that itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s settling for any company, even my demons. And here I am meeting its every need.

ARTICHOKE

BY MAYA VUKOV

MONTH MONTH MONTH

CREATIVE

IN LIKE A lion, out like a lamb? I have always seen march as that sort of inbetween month that does not fit in with all the other ones. It is usually still snowy, but people are also thinking of spring. There is a break when you are in grade school to think but further on into college and the only holiday you look forward to in March is the one where you can drink yourself stupid to forget all the finals you have coming up. Seasonally-speaking, March does feel like a month of possibilities and new opportunities. Spring has not quite come yet, but there is just a hint of something new in the air. A shedding off of our old winter skins. It has been a long and cold winter, one of the coldest I can ever remember, and I for one am ready for the first hints of new life in nature. It always somehow seems to spark a sort of regrowth of spirit within myself.

ARTICHOKE

SILENCE YOUR I feel a lot of pressure as a woman. The life I have lived has been me constantly paving the way to better myself, but I still tend to be critical even though I have had lots of success. In honour of International Women’s Day, I want to dedicate this article to the hard working women who have a harsh inner critic. Here are 5 tips that I want to share with all of you out there! This is in hopes that you can silence that inner critic of yours and ultimately see yourself as what you truly are: A Powerful Woman!

1. WRITE DOWN YOUR SUCCESS’ Often times, in this busy world, we forget to celebrate our success. When a task is finished, we move on to the next task without giving credit where credit is due. I challenge you to write down every single time you have had a successful encounter, operation, event, etc. Keep the same list for a whole year and read it top to bottom. You will then see that even though mistakes happen along the way, you are making a difference. Celebrate the success! I always say that there is no such

thing as a small success; success is success. 2. GIVE YOURSELF THE ADVICE YOU WOULD GIVE TO A FRIEND Now this one comes with a little role play. Try doing this in the shower or whenever you can find time alone. Pretend that your friend is going through the exact same challenge as you are in this working world and respond to them. Listen to the words you use and how you present the feedback to your friend. We tend to be much harder on ourselves and when we take a step back and remove ourselves from the scenario we can see the big picture. It is hard to take that advice sometimes even when it comes from yourself, so just make sure you clock what you say and just try to remind yourself about it when your inner critic comes out to play. 3. LOOK AT THOSE WHO YOU SURROUND YOURSELF WITH Sometimes we do not realize we are surrounded by people with toxic behaviours. As human beings we cling to the people we care about the most; those people can be friends, significant others, family, employers, etc. Try to map out your emotions after you have felt success. There

are moments where you must have been proud of yourself or extremely happy so what made that change? The people around you influence the narrative in your head. If what they say to you sticks in your mind and changes the way you feel about the job or success or even yourself, then address it. I have been on both ends of this and believe me, I was always much happier speaking my mind and also hearing the feedback about my toxic behaviours. It is hard to look a person you care about in the eyes and tell them how their comments made you truly feel, but they are becoming your inner critic. Do not let them be the narrative you constantly play in your head. If they choose to not apologize or make you feel worse about the situation then that is emotional abuse and you need to cut them out of your life. If it is an employer or an employee, make a formal complaint. Toxic people should not be running your life or holding you back! Do what you need to do as a strong powerful woman. 4. OVERTHINKING IS YOUR WORST ENEMY Let’s face it, when you care about something or if you have struggles with your mental health and you

LIFESTYLE

INNER CRITIC make a mistake while doing a task you set out to do, you are going to overthink about it. It is those 2am thoughts that wake us up and get us furious or full of shame. It is completely normal so please be patient with yourself. Patience is key for anyone who is an overthinker. It is easy to let this ruin your life by simple statements like, “You know me, I overthink” or “I cannot help it, it is who I am”. That is simply not the truth; that is once again your inner critic coming out and enabling toxic behaviour. The best thing to do when you are overthinking is to revert back to tip #2. If you find that is not working, you can try simple distractions, but sometimes that just delays the problem at hand. Talking it out to someone with a neutral perspective on the situation you are facing; it can be the best thing for you. Often times seeking a counsellor is the best option if you are a chronic overthinker. I know it is hard to reach out for support while trying to show strength, but true strength is admitting you need an outside resource to silence your inner critic. I have been in counselling for my inner critic since the summer and believe me, it has helped! Do not hold yourself back from fully enjoying

your experience as a woman in power; push for growth and never accept toxic behaviours. 5. DO NOT HOLD VALUE IN PEOPLE’S WORDS This is a big one! I have a couple people in my life that I look to to give me reassurance that I am doing a good job. For example, my best friend or my boss. I tend to look to other woman to tell me that they are proud of me, which is not the best habit. Of course, getting recognition for the work that you do is very very important and any good leader should be giving that to you. However, you cannot put value in those people’s words. If you are waiting for those people to tell you how great you are doing to feel good about yourself then that is not fair to those people. I highly suggest finding that inner strength to make yourself feel good. For example, when you finish a task, you should not be waiting for your boss to say that they are proud of you. You should be able to look at yourself and let yourself know that YOU are proud of YOU. Any other reassurance should just be the cherry on top. Of course feeling appreciated is a much different issue than the one I am discussing right now. If you are feeling

BY MADFISH FISHER

under appreciated, you need to speak up and let those people know as soon as possible. BUT, if you wait on others words to feel good about yourself, you will never truly be happy. Go on quest to find that inner goddess that knows her worth! Sometimes it about realizing how high you put someone on a pedestal that they will never fill; ultimately placing you below them. This forces your inner critic into a vicious cycle telling you that you will never being good enough.

Try to practice these 5 tips! They will change your life for the better and with time, you can silence that inner critic of yours. Just remember to be patient, hold yourself accountable, and don’t be afraid to do what’s best for you! Life is too short and too precious it to waste it on such negativity. Women in power unite! Happy International Women’s Day! Love, MadFish xoxo

ARTICHOKE

BY KATHERINE COLLIER

WOMEN

LIFESTYLE

“I’ve got so much to Thank God for.”

THIS IS HOW the Mass Choir began our second to last song in the Power Up Fifteenth Anniversary Final Concert after our two day conference. Our (soloist) leader for this song was Dr. Melissa Davis, a musician and educator responsible for starting the music major at Tyndale University College and Seminary. This was just one of many strong woman attending, teaching and worshiping at this conference that took place over the last weekend of the reading week. March 8th, International Women’s Day, is a day to celebrate women and their strength. Gospel music allows celebration religiously but also personally. Like all music, it allows you for express yourself and gospel music encourages this. Our performance included clapping, hooting and speaking praises and encouraging words while Dr. Davis sang her solo. She showed her strength on the stage, and we as a choir provided her support through these actions and through singing for and with her. This support is something that I feel we should do in our everyday lives. Women are often told to be in competition with each other, from the media and from our very own families and friends. Comparisons are the norm between women. Why not change this? We can become the choir for every single soloist in their lives simply by offering encouragement, and this is a large part of

what International Women’s Day is for me. There is a women who I feel embodies this idea every day, Karen Burke. Burke runs Power Up each year as well as leading the Toronto Mass Choir and the York University Gospel Choir. As a conductor she encourages everyone to see the good and importance within themselves in their singing. It is difficult to learn five songs over the course of two days, but Burke is so confident in you that you feel as though you can do anything. On a personal level, she will raise you up and make you feel important, as I have seen from working with her for two years. She makes sure to learn everyone’s names in her choirs (even the 100+ in YUGC) to make everyone feel as though they are important and sen, and it works. How many times have you said “Oh I am sorry I am probably going to forget your name” or had it said to you? How did that make you feel? How do you feel when you are being compared to someone else because you are “not as pretty” or you are “too short” or something of the like? These feelings do not need to be the norm. We can all strive to be “Karen Burke”s and choirs in other people’s lives, not just women, but especially women. Have a reason to thank others and be thanked.

ARTICHOKE

LIFESTYLE

THEATRE TALKS AN ORIGINAL POEM

BY LAURA BOURBONNAIS THEATRE TALKS. When on the stage or in my seat or through a screen, my eyes they gleam. A shy soul trapped inside an artistic brat. I long for stories that make hearts sing then shrivel. Dancing, directing, writing, acting, provoke adrenaline, no use in hiding

the feeling, it keeps on growing, feeding upon one another, then feasting altogether. My soul finds comfort calm and cure in theatre. It talks like no other, all I can muster is to foster and nurture this budding desire and hunger for more and still more theatre.

ARTICHOKE

BY KELLY ESTOMO

kelly estomo / age 20 / york university

WHEN I TELL you that music occupies the negative space in my body, that the nylon strings are a punching bag, that every song is a documented therapy session, that I have carved into the surface of its future and saw a glimpse of myself there, I do not want to hear “You do not have what it takes.” Have you ever studied a tiny fifth grader attempt to stretch her frame over the body of a grown acoustic? Or watched her toothpick fingers make imaginary shapes down its neck? Would you be afraid that she would break like twigs from how strongly she was shaking? She went on to study boys fronting rock bands, and sung her research papers like Sarah Mclachlan. She studied the length of her hair, and how hard it was to chop the back side of her head without a second mirror. She studied popular lead singers, so she tried performing like a boy, tried screaming but could not, and after years of writing melodies too softly, she never learned how to yell. She took up DIY hair dying. Hid boys’ boxers under skinny girl jeans. And maybe this helped me strum my acoustic a little harder.

LIFESTYLE

But all I’ve been asked is if I was a) okay, or b) gay. Somehow those two melted into each other till I could not tell which was which. I have been running away from The Small Asian Girl because Small Asian Girls do not scream over electric guitars. Do you know what dudes with a headstock for a dick call that? “You are too f***ing loud!” “That is hot, but every girl sings and plays guitar.” “Are you trying to be a female [insert famous dude who plays guitar here] but Asian?” The testimonies show that: 1) It is not enough to look like a dude, or play like a dude, 2) It is not enough when I am told that the songs I write are too lyrically dense for so little chords, 3) It is not enough when I am still too afraid to tell a man how much I love music, because I DO NOT LOVE IT ENOUGH. My friend fronts her own band. Someone asked her backstage if she was a groupie. Some days, I say, “Hey, I could be a groupie.” And some days, I say, “I will drill the silhouette of a Filipino Canadian girl into the basement of my abandoned local venue with the butt of a cheap microphone, and shout my bloodcurdling inadequacies into its abyss. And when the echo drains itself, I will pick up any guitar and strum anything (for nobody in particular), coo like a bird too early in the spring morning, and swim in my own reverb, while the boys with headstock dicks drown in the very art they make.” [Tracy Bonham] once said, “Guitar-wise, I have a certain style that I can’t seem to get any guitar player to mimic, and it’s because they’re good and I’m bad,” she has said. “And I don’t mind. There’s a way I want to hear it, so I just do it myself.” (Wikipedia)

ARTICHOKE

BY LAURA BOURBONNAIS

IT IS SUCH a beautiful concept that there is a Zero Discrimination day! I believe discriminating others is wrong and nothing can excuse that kind of behaviour. It is especially crucial in today’s society to be accepting of one another and of our differences. We are all human beings after all and we all deserve to be treated equally with respect we deserve to feel safe. Let’s all be kinder to each other this month! :) Articulating Discrimination An original poem by Laura Bourbonnais Discriminate and delegate the hate you recuperate. Relocated ache, reduced to a taste, a dull court case strictly trial based. None are safe from judgy haze, demeaning gaze

always agape. Prodding without warning, always asking and reacting without stopping, I have feelings? what’s the meaning? Foreign equals fool like different does to daunting, youth once again mistaken for children yearning meaning. Who are you and why do we trust you to judge me when you know you but don’t know me? Don’t you mean it’s you that you see?

LIFESTYLE

HAPPY WOMEN’S DAY! BY LAURA BOURBONNAIS

UNWAVERING WOMEN WARRIORS An original poem by Laura Bourbonnais Frustrated, forlorn fatigued eyes, roam about ruthlessly. Time took its toll but freedom’s fight won’t sleep. Ancestors tower proudly behind and over me. A decade worth of women fighting from their deathbed for my freedom, our equality. Women as equals? they tell me, ‘Oh, but we are that and so much more, honey’.

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